Halloween II (1981)

Advertisements

Scarlet Night: Archie’s Weird Mysteries (1999)


Vampires are coming to Riverdale

This came on the VHS with Attack of the Killer Spuds. This was a pretty good series of episodes, although I thought the end made no sense.

So this storyline is told in three parts; a Vampire Tale in Three Acts. Originally i was going to do them all together, but i have been trying to review this since the first Horrorfest. Thats six years of trying.

Wow

So I have decided that I will review each episode individually. I know that makes it a little odd to have so many TV episodes, but I am ready to get this going.

halloween banner

ScarletNightArchieRiverdaleVampires

Act One: Scarlet Night

“Cross of silver, ray of light, in ender’s hand, shall end the night”

The film starts out with Veronica having this strange dream of a Vampire attacking her, only to destroy him with an antique cross necklace. She laughs off the freak only to be scared by a redheaded girl.

The next day she is telling Betty about her dream, mostly laughing it off. They meet up with Jughead and Archie. Then a new girl enters the scene

Redhead Ah!

A new girl has moved to town, and she looks exactly like the girl in Veronica’s dream.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Her name is Scarlet Helsing (like Van Helsing) and she promptly takes Archie off to discuss his article and her own “weird mysteries”.

This makes Veronica very angry.

that girl is going after my man she is going to wish she was never born

Betty and Veronica are determined to get Archie back, Betty going on the computer to reasearch her, while Veronica decides to follow them.

stalker

Veronica is driving around not paying attention to anything, when she crashes right into Dr. Strange’s Mystical Shop. No, it’s not Dr. Strange, although he does remind me of him, it is Dr. Beaumont. As Veronica is picking up Dr. Beaumont’s spilled items, she sees a necklace, an amulet to be exact.

archieiverdalevampiresarchieweirdmysteriesscarletnightnecklace

Just like the one in her dream.

thisisheavybacktothefuture

Dr. Beaumont tells Veronica that it is the Ender’s Stone.

“Cross of silver,

Ray of light,

In Ender’s Hand,

Shall end the night.”

He tells Veronica that there is a prophecy, that on Halloween this year, the sun will set and never rise again, beginning the reign of the Vampires!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, in Pop’s Chocklit Shop, Scarlet is telling Archie the same thing. She has been researching the event and discovered that the only one who can save them is the Ender using the Sun stone or Amulet. Scarlet doesn’t know who the Ender is, as the book wasn’t complete. She does know that it is a girl.

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-it

Does this sound familiar to you?

The plot thickens

How about her?

Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer

buffyvampireslayerTed

Yes, this series of episodes are a parody of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. While the Master looks like the Master in Buffy the Vampire (TV Series), the rest of it resembles more of the 1992 film than the show.

In the 1992 film, Buffy was a valley girl, uber rich, and a cheerleader who only cared about fashion. In Archie’s Weird Mysteries (AWM), Veronica talks in a valley girl voice, is uber rich, and a cheerleader who only cares about fashion. Both don’t want to be a Slayer or Ender, trying to pass it off to others, but find themselves accepting the role when push comes to shove.

buffythevampireslayer

Also the way the Vampires look and float everywhere resembles the 1992 film more than the TV show. All right, let’s get back to the review.

So Dr. Beaumont, after hearing Beronica’s dream, decides that she must be the choosen one. He gives her the amulet and takes off.

run-away

Veronica does not want the amulet or to be the chosen one.

No thank youhowaboutno

And heads iver to Pops to find Archie. After all, he’s the Weird Mystery expert, he should know what to do.

While Archie and Veronica are talking in the parking lot, two vampires come up behind them and begin chasing them, trying to bite them.

Dean-Dracula-The-Delusional-Shapeshifter-in-Monster-Movie-supernatural-24166990-700-300

They manage to climb a building, but when the Vampires follow them there, they jump off, using a vampire to break their fall.

Back on solid ground, they spot Dr. Beaumont’s Shop, and as he forgot to lock the door, the hide inside it. Veronica is even more convinced that she is not the Ender, and gives the necklace to Archie.

While inside Veronica spots an open book. She reads the pages and sees another prophecy about the Ender.

“Raven and Red upon their heads,

Destiny awakens,

One girl is the Ender,

While the other is mistaken.”

rchieiverdalevampiresarchieweirdmysteriesscarletnightnecklacebook

Before she can think about what it means, Archie tells her the coast is clear and that they should make a run for it. They discover that it was really a trap, as the Vampires are waiting putside the doors. The Vampires attack, but they manage to fight them off and run.

Run Away

As they run, they run right into Scarlet.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

How did she just happen upon them? Sounds suspicious. I think she’s evil.

you're evil

Scarlet takes down the Vampires, knocking them out. When Archie asks how she found them, she tells him she was “lucky” and that she has been following Archie to “help him.” Yeah, I don’t think so. This girl is crazy. Step away, step far, far, away.

Her in this case

Her in this case

And following him? Hello stalker.

stalker

Archie needs to hang out with Betty more, she’s the only normal one here.

Anyways, Veronica is convinced that any girl who can beat up a couple of Vampires, must be the Ender. She decides to head home, while Archie and Scarlet go to his place.

Back at Veronica’s mansion, Betty calls. It turns out that she has some very interesting news about Scarlet from her old scholl. It is really old, as Scarlet went to high school over 200 years ago!

OMG

That means only one thing. She is a Vampire!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She collects her things and sets out for Archie’s place.

Back at the Andrews residence, Archie gives Scarlet the amulet, telling her that he thinks she is the Ender. Scarlet refuses, Archie argues and while he is doing so, he notices something weird. Scarlett has no refecltion in the mirror!!!

Say What

Scarket is a vampire!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scarlet can walk around during the day, like the other vampire minions, as long as she stays in her human form. It was her job to find and kill the Ender, so that nothing stood betweem her Master and the Eternal night. He needs Eternal night as he cannot roam during the day. As Scarlet has revealed all, she settles down to feed on Archie.

Dean-Dracula-The-Delusional-Shapeshifter-in-Monster-Movie-supernatural-24166990-700-300

When she is stopped by…Jughead with a hamburger!

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

Yes, Jughead stuffs a hamburger in Scarlet’s mouth, while he, Betty, and Veronica pull Archie out of the house through the window. Archie grabbing the necklace on his way out.

Count Dracula: Van Helsing. [Van Helsing turns to face Count Dracula] Count Dracula: Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country. Van Helsing: I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy. Count Dracula: You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived. Van Helsing: Should you escape us, Dracula. We know how to save Miss Mina's soul if not her life. Count Dracula: If she dies by day. But I shall see that she dies by night. Van Helsing: And I will have Carfax Abbey torn down, stone by stone, excavated a mile around. I will find your earth-box and drive that stake through your heart. Count Dracula: Come here. [Dracula raises his hand to hypnotise Van Helsing] Count Dracula: Come here...Your will is strong, Van Helsing. [Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him] Count Dracula: More wolfbane? Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count. Count Dracula: Indeed. [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

Veronica quickly grabs the necklace and thrusts it upwards, using it to kill the vampires. Archie & the gang have not only one, but Veronica discovered she is capable of much more than shopping.

TheEnd_Title_2

Or is IT?

 

Welcome to a New World of Gods and Monsters: The Mummy (2017)

Welcome to a new world of gods and monsters.

So I love The Mummy (1932)

And The Mummy (1999)

But this one was horrible!

Ugh.

The plot made no sense at all!!!

Help me! I’m confused!

There was no cool Egyptian stuff or history or action at all. It didn’t even take place in Egypt but in England!

And they threw in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and didn’t explain why:

This is pretty much how I felt through the whole film:

It was just horrible from beginning to end, didn’t explain, and I didn’t care about any of the characters. I’d rather watch him:

Or him:

Or her:

Or her:

Any day.

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to What Do They Want You For? Murder: Silver Streak (1976)

For more mummy films, go to A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

For more Tom Cruise, go to Pot o’ Gold: 17 Irish Heroes

For The Mummy (1932), go to Eternal Punishment for Anyone Who Opens This Casket: The Mummy (1932)

For more Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, go to Man-Bat: On Leather Wings, Batman the Animated Series (1992)

For more sucky films, go to Have You Seen Megan Hipwell?: The Girl On the Train (2016)

For more sucky remakes, go to Dracula. Not Myth, Nor Ravings of a Mad Irish Novelist, Oh No, He’s Real: Dracula 2000 (2000)

What Do They Want You For? Murder: Silver Streak (1976)

What do they want you for?

Murder.

Drop me off anywhere along here okay? I don’t mess with the Big M.

So I don’t know about you all but one of my favorite actors is Gene Wilder:

It is a spoof of the thriller, disaster, and mystery films. In fact it reminds me of the Alfred Hitchcock film The Lady Vanishes, but definitely more ’70s flavor.

George Caldwell (Gene Wilder) is a quiet book editor that is traveling from Los Angeles, CA to Chicago for his sister’s wedding. He is hoping for a quiet time alone on the train, but life is not planning that.

He meets Hilly Burns (Jill Clayburgh), secretary for Professor Schreiner, who has a new book coming out on Rembrandt. She comes on to him and the two get close in a few short minutes. 

But then things start going a little strange. He sees a dead body hanging outside his window.

I know, right?

George wants to investigate it, but Hilly says he is drunk and should just come to bed with her. Of course George ignores the body and goes with Hilly.

The next day, George looks at the book Hilly gave him about Rembrandt and sees a picture of the author-who turns out to be the dead body he saw last night.

George gets thrown off the train by the minions that took Professor Schreiner out and finds himself meeting up with a fun farmlady who helps him make it back to the train. 

Finally

Afterwards, George confides in a vitamin salesman, Bob Sweets, who spoke to him earlier, and it is revealed that the guy is actually an FBI agent, named Steven, who is investigating an important art ring. While they go to make an arrest-Steven gets shot. Now George finds himself branded a murderer in the press, on the run as a fugitive, thrown off the train, and it looks like Hilly has moved on to the super rich Roger Devereau.

But George won’t give up. He needs to get the truth, get is girl, and get back on that train. He ends up teaming up with thief Grover T. Muldoon (Richard Pryor). The rest of the film is full of hijinks, hilarity, and thrills.

Now there is one thing that people won’t like. There is a scene in which Grover tries to help George hide from he police by painting him black and teaching him “to be black” with George failing of course. It is funny, but there is quite a few out there who might find it offensive.

If you like thrills, mystery, parodies, etc-you should check this out on Netflix.

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to It Feels So Good to See the Bad Guys Scared for a Change: Hangman’s Curse (2003)

For more Gene Wilder, go to A Trip to the Mall Turns into the Twilight Zone

For more train centered films, go to Have You Seen Megan Hipwell?: The Girl On the Train (2016)

For more horror-comedies, go to Is She Mrs. X?: So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)

It Feels So Good to See the Bad Guys Scared for a Change: Hangman’s Curse (2003)

It feels so good to see the bad guys scared for a change.

So you might have remembered me talking in the past about how much I love Frank Peretti’s books. Peretti wrote Christian novels, ranging from suspense, to horror, to everyday fiction; but most have to do with angels battling demons.

This film is an adaption of one of his books, Hangman’s Curse, so yes it is a Christian film. I know not all of you might be interested in it, but let me say I have shown this film to Christian and non-Christian friends and both liked it. It’s pretty good.

So the movie isn’t exactly like the book, they cut a bunch out-but they kept it pretty similar.

I like this

So the film starts off with young high schooler Abel Frye committing suicide. He had been tormented so much he felt it was the only way to stop the pain. This scene is a little intense and I don’t recommend it to anyone who may be triggered by that.

Ouch

Supposedly, he killed himself in the old wing of the school and his ghost haunts the halls helping those who are also bullied.

Fast forward to present time, and we see the high school football game. One high schooler has a freak out and sees the ghost of Abel Frye and goes crazy-ending up in a coma.

This wasn’t the only one who has been affected. There have been several football players who have had the same problem. It is time to call in The Veritas Project.

The Veritas Project consists of a family of four-David, Sarah, and their twin teenagers-Elisha & Elijah Springfield. They have all been heavily trained  by police, FBI, etc and sent in to deal with drugs, supernatural or unexplained events.

The principle decides to call the family in. David will be the janitor, Sarah the nurse, Elisha will go into the popular/jocky crowd and Elijah with the nerds/outcasts.

As they start checking out who could be responsible they discover that there are a group of outcasts/goths who have a secret club that practices witchcraft and the occult in order to get Abel Frye to attack those that are bullying them.

As Elisha and Elijah get closer to figure out if the truth is supernatural or physical; one of them gets “cursed” by the spirit of Abel Frye and ends up on the hit list. Will they solve it in time, or will they meet the fate of all the others?

Hmm…

I love this movie and thought it was extremely well done. You should definitely give it a look, especially as the ending is great and something I cannot reveal.

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to Jason’s Out There… Watching… Ready to Kill… Thirsty for Young Blood: Friday the 13th, Part II (1981)

For more on Hangman’s Curse and The Veritas Project, go to A Whole Lot of Fanfare

For more Frank Peretti, go to He is Coming: The Visitation (2006)

For more films based on a book, go to It was a Horseman, a Dead One. Headless: Sleepy Hollow (1999)

For more ghosts, go to Night on Bald Mountain: Fantasia (1940)

For more on witches, go to For All You Know, A Witch Might Be Living Next Door to You: The Witches (1990)

For more on going undercover, go to The Butcher of Burtonsville High: The Death of the Queen Bee, Bones (2010)

 

Jason’s Out There… Watching… Ready to Kill… Thirsty for Young Blood: Friday the 13th, Part II (1981)

And if you listen to the old-timers in town, they’ll tell you he’s still out there, some sort of demented creature, surviving in the wilderness, full grown by now… stalking…Jason’s out there… watching… always on the prowl for intruders… ready to kill… ready to devour… thirsty for young blood.

So today is Friday the 13th!

And you know what that means! Time for one of my traditions!

Suit up in Ghostbusters’ clothing!

That’s how I roll

Pick up some pizza:

And watch some horror films!!!!

And of course as this isFriday the 13th in October, you all know exactly which film I will be reviewing.

Yep, this is the whole reason why I moved all the TV episodes to Tuesdays. So I could review Friday the 13th on Friday the 13th.

I was so busy with my movie marathon:

That I wasn’t able to post my review in time. I will be updating soon though. Promise! Until then:

And if you listen to the old-timers in town, they’ll tell you he’s still out there, some sort of demented creature, surviving in the wilderness, full grown by now… stalking…Jason’s out there… watching… always on the prowl for intruders… ready to kill… ready to devour… thirsty for young blood.

So you all know how I don’t like sequels:

But I decided to watch this and surprised myself in enjoying it more than I thought.

Slow down everyone, I haven’t changed that much. I didn’t say that I loved it, but I did enjoy it a lot more than I thought I wouldSo the film starts off with a review of what happened at the end of the original Friday the 13thWhen the real killer’s identity was discovered, the fight, almost drowning in the lake, etc.

Pamela Voorhees: [high voice] Kill her, Mommy! Kill her! Don’t let her get away, Mommy! Don’t let her live!
[normal voice]
Pamela Voorhees: I won’t, Jason. I won’t!

It has been two months since then, and Alice has been horrified with nightmares and flashbacks. One night she has had a bad one when Jason comes and kills her.

Why is Jason so old? In the first one he died as a child. If he becomes a ghost/monster/zombie thingy-why is he so old? He should have stayed a child. Like in the original film.

Friday the 13th (1980)

They never say why, just that he never died fully and was living on his own in the woods hunting, etc. But if he never died, than why was his mother so angry and trying to get revenge on the people who caused her son’s death. The fact that he is still alive ruins all the motivations and stuff from the first.

I will say, that Jason may be a crazy, psycho, serial killer-but he is courteous. After he kills Alice he turns off the kettle that Alice was using to make tea. That was nice of him.

Oh, well

Five years pass and Paul is a camp director, having called in the new recruits. He’s training them in the basics before the summer season starts. They aren’t at Camp Crystal Lake, like in the original, but right next door. Paul warns them of the story of Jason, but doesn’t believe in him or the things he “did”.

The next night some of the counselors go out to party in the town bar, while others have to stay behind. Two of them got caught by the police checking out Camp Blood, one guy is in a wheelchair and in training for the olympics, one girl wants to do with the olympic guy, one girl is searching for her dog, and the last guy is there to try and make it with one of the girls. Of course, Jason starts taking them all out one by one.

The reason why I liked this film was that the characters were actually not too dumb, and you felt bad that they died. I mean there was still sex scenes (this is Friday the 13th), Vicky walks around outside in her underwear to get something from the car (why?), and one of the ladies wears a shirt and shorts that cover nothing and walks around naked for a chunk of time.

But while I only cared for like two in the other film, in this one I was sad each time they were taken out.

So sad

But then Paul and his assistant Ginny come back. I don’t know why, but Jason doesn’t kill Paul-he knocks him out. Ginny has to run from him and she is hardcore. She attacks him, tries to trick him into thinking she’s his mother, and does the final knockout. Pretty sweet!

But the end is weird. Did Paul die? Why didn’t Jason kill Ginny? What’s real and what is a dream?

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to A Survivor… Unclouded By Conscience, Remorse, or Delusions of Morality: Alien (1979)

For more on Friday the 13th, go to Tuesday the 17th: Psych (2009)

For more camp movies, go to Someone Very Special: The Addam’s Family Values (1993)

For more on the holiday Friday the 13th, go to Don’t Fear the Reaper

For more slasher films, go to Have You Checked the Children: When a Stranger Calls (1979)

For more serial killers, go to Is She Mrs. X?: So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)

For more sequels, go to I Don’t Kill People Anymore: Psycho II (1983)

For more ’80s films, go to China is Here Mr. Burton. The Chang Sing, The Wing Kong, They’ve Been Fighting for Centuries: Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

A Survivor… Unclouded By Conscience, Remorse, or Delusions of Morality: Alien (1979)

A survivor… unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.

So you know what I always say about sequels & remakes:

But this is one series that I actually prefer the sequel over the original. I think Aliens surpasses Alien.

I know, I know. What is wrong with me?

I really think it is only because I watched the films in reverse. If I had seen Alien before Aliens, I’m sure I would think differently.

Hmm…

Anyways, so the film begins with a crew of people of the Nostromo being awakened early and far from home.

Apparently the ship heard a distress signal and policy says they have to follow it, even though almost all want to ignore it and head on home.

Ugh.

The signal comes from an alien spacecraft, and a group-Captain Dallas (Tom Skerrit), Lambert (Veronica Cartwright), and Kane (John Hurt)-are sent out to investigate it.

Hmm…

Meanwhile, Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) the second-in-command discovered that something was not right about the message that brought them there.

Ripley: Ash, that transmission… Mother’s deciphered part of it. It doesn’t look like an S.O.S.

Ash: What is it, then?

Ripley: Well, I… it looks like a warning. I’m gonna go out after them.

Ash: What’s the point? I mean by the-the time it takes to get there, you’ll… they’ll know if it’s a warning or not, yes?

Back on the planet, Kane gets separated from the rest of the group and finds a room full of something, he doesn’t know what. A hot room full of these pod like things.

One of them breaks open and Kane is attacked by what we later refer to as a facehugger.

Dallas and Lambert rush him quickly back to the ship, but Ripley does not want to let them in. Policy is that when a group is exposed to something, they are not allowed in for 24 hours in case they might infect the rest of the crew or damage the ship.

Everyone is angry with her and demanding her to open the ship, but she refuses. She refuses even though her boyfriend, Captain Dallas, is one of those outside and she was good friends with Kane. She is taking no chances, no matter what the pressure.

But the doors end up sliding open, and the three rush inside.

Help me! I’m confused!

Yes, it turns out that the new addition to their team- Science Officer Ash (Ian Holm [Bilbo Baggins to you LOtR fans]) has overridden her.

Ripley is furious, and instead of defending her-Dallas sides with Ash.

Ripley: Did you ever ship out with Ash before?

Dallas: I went out five times with another science officer. They replaced him two days before we left Thedus with Ash. Hm?

Ripley: I don’t trust him.

Dallas: Well, I don’t trust anybody.

Dallas and Ash them start investigating what the thing is and how they can help Kane.

Later the creature detaches itself and is found dead.

Strange…

Kane also wakes up and is perfectly fine!

I know, right?

Some strange alien creature stuck to his face, but no big deal he wakes up with just a little memory loss?

[Kane wakes up from his comatose state]

Parker: How ya doin’?

Kane: Terrific. Next silly question? [they laugh, Ash hands him a cup of water]Oh, thank you.

Dallas: You remember anything about the planet?

[Kane shakes his head]

Ripley: What’s the last thing you do remember? Huh?

Kane: I remember some… horrible dream about… smothering? I don’t know… Anyway, where are we?

Dallas: We’re right here.

Ripley: We’re on our way home!

Brett: Yeah, back to the ole freezerinos. Ahaha.

I always thought it was weird how this creature like attached itself on him like a leech but everyone was like no big deal.

I feel like I would think lets do some tests and make sure he doesn’t have something in his bloodstream or you know.

Hmm…

Anyways, business as normal. Everyone tries to get ready to return home-stopping for dinner.

Yes, one of the best scenes in the film. So terrifyingly great. And all the expressions were real. Ridley Scott told the crew barely anything because he wanted to be sure that when they saw what happened they were really surprised. And boy were they and everyone else.

And of course a scene like that is parodied and referenced so many times. Everything from Spaceballs to Shrek 2.

Wow

Anyways, now the crew has a giant problem. Here is a creature they know nothing about running around their ship, who has acid blood, and wants to kill them all. Quickly this turns to a vein of And Then There Were None/Ten Little Indians. Something is hunting them-picking them off one by one. But who will it strike next and when?

And to make things even worse-The alien-Xenomorph XX121-has grown to be bigger than any crew member.

And to make them even more worse-someone on the crew has betrays the others by wanting this to happen. Yes-one of the crew members purposely strove to find this creature and knew this destruction would occur.

This is a great film-and horror/mystery. And something else I love is the lighting, angles, set design and pacing of the film. They all work fantastically well to build suspense and tell the story.

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to Is She Mrs. X?: So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)

For more on the Alien series, go to The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend: Alien Vs. Predator (2004)

For more alien films, go to They’re Here Already! You’re Next!: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

For more films that spanned tons of sequels, go to You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat: Jaws (1975)