Insults

It’s like:

commonSense

This is how women want to be talked to:

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For more on The Swan Princess, go to You Should Write a Book

For more on Audrey Hepburn, go to Your Secret is Safe With Me

For more on fairy tales, go to Cinderelly, Cinderelly

For more non-Austen films, go to Forney Hull: Makes Stalking Adorable

For more of my fav quotes, go to Darcy’s Dream Date

Cinderelly, Cinderelly

 I’ve been thinking of changing my name to Cinderella

I know this has nothing to do with Jane Austen, but lately I’ve been feeling just like her. It’s the start of a new school year, and I’ve been feeling a little overloaded, and have been forgetting things all over the place.

Oh No!

Seriously last Thursday I went to five different areas around campus and left my thermos in those five different places. Instead of a handsome prince returning it to me,  I instead had to go get it myself, my own fault lately. I don’t know where my head has been lately.

Then on Friday I went to the library, and was almost out of there when I realized I had left my water bottle behind. Once again I had to go back.

Now I have to check my belongings three times before I vacate an area in fear of having lost another item. Such is my life!

Well at least I’m not having as bad a day as Sam Winchester

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For more on Cinderella, go to What’s Your Line

For more on Disney, go to Bowled Over

For more on other modern day happenings, go to Where Oh Where Can It Be?

For more on Supernatural, go to Crushworthy Look

For more on bad days, go to Just One of Those Days…Nights…No Days

What’s Your Line

Guys have the stupidest lines in the world. And what really gets me is when you try and help a guy out and tell them what to say that would be better at getting the girl’s attention and they tell you:

“You’re not a guy, you don’t know anything”

Oh of course, I’m just a girl so I must “have no clue” what girls like. I mean seriously!

For all the guys out there here are some lines that have guys used on me that you should not use. Repeat: You should NOT use these.

 

“How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!”

That is just sooooo lame. I don’t know anyone who would be into that

“If you where a pirate would you want your parrot on this shoulder? [Puts hand on shoulder closest to him] OR this one? [Puts hand on shoulder farthest away, therefore having arm around girl’s shoulders]

This will cause the girl to push you away, and yell at you. I mean who do you think you are coming up to someone you don’t know and doing that?

“Hey want to have my friend’s baby?”

Puh-leaze! What on earth made you think that was a great line? Most likely you will be slapped.

“Hey babe, wanna give me a refresher course in the female anatomy?”

Heck no loser! Another candidate for getting slapped.

“Hey babe, those are great pants! You’d look better with them off thought.”

Like seriously what about that is going to make me want to spend time with you? Another slap.

“Guy: I wish I could have what I need to be happy

Girl: You deserve to be happy

Guy: Great so that means were going out!”

Excuse me? I did not say that I was going to bring your happiness. Slow down crazy!

“Do you know karate? Cause your body’s kicking!”

Whatever your friends may say, that line is not gold but LAME. One time a guy asked me that and I said I did and was a black belt (not a complete lie) and that got the guy to leave me alone!

“Do you like your eggs fried or fertilized”

Gross and deserving of another slap.

“[Jumping out of a bush] Will you go out with me?”

Sorry I don’t date STALKERS! Seriously, presentation is important! Don’t act like a creep!

“Hey I’m cheap. You can have me for a chicken dinner. I’ll make you a winner!”

Ick. Now I’ll have nightmares for days

“Hey take me home tonight, we’ll have a dance party!”

No way Jose! And that line is muy es tonto!

“You must be tired because you’ve been running through me dreams all night!”

Yeah well, I didn’t take a pit stop there. LAME!

“You should come over tonight and be my nurse. Help me with my health.”

Yeah right perv, the only role playing I want to do is where you are a soccor ball so I can kick you.

I’m really good with my hands!

Ick! That’s so disgusting I don’t know what to say to it.

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These are all I can think of today, but I’ll probably post more. I’m always being hit on by weirdos. It’s like I have some scent that attracts them. Post a comment with any lame lines that you have been hit on by a guy or girl and your reaction!

I found this online, and it will be my response from now on.

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For more on Disney, go to Cinderelly, Cinderelly

For more on modern times, go to Where Oh Where Can it Be?

For more on Beauty and the Beast, go to According to Disney

For more on Gaston, go to There’s No One Like Gaston

For more on Cinderella, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines List

Where Oh Where Can It Be?

Something I notice that happens whenever you need to go somewhere or do something, and am running behind schedule, you manage to lose an important item and have to spend a long time looking for it, an ALWAYS when you really need it. Here is a list I compiled:

1)Keys (They never seem to be around when you really need them. I lose my keys all the time)

2) Your left/right shoe (Always just one of them)

SamWinchesterShoe

3) Your socks (I swear the dyer is the gateway to another dimension)

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4) Flashdrive (Especially when there is an important document on it)

5) You homework (Sometimes it grows legs and walks away)

6) Your wallet (Always manages to be put in the wrong place)

7) Your purse (Doesn’t apply to most men)

8) A pen/pencil (They always seem to disappear)

9) Tape

10) Stapler (Always when I write a paper)

11) The card you bought weeks ago for someone (Now you have to buy a new one, and immediately find the old one afterwards)

12) Directions (GPS gets me even more lost)

13) Library Card

14) Change

15) Your cellphone (And as luck has it will usually be on silent or off)

PhoneOnSilent

16) Your hairbrush (I always look around singing this)

17) Your charger (And just as your phone/computer/whatever is dying)

18) Time (You lose so much looking for everything)

Send me a comment about anything you always seem to lose when it is most needed.

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For more on modern day things, go to Darcy’s Dream Date

For more on Supernatural, go to Cinderelly, Cinderelly

Darcy’s Dream Date

Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet (1940)

In Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy has very particular guidelines as to who the perfect woman is. The perfect (accomplished) woman is one who has

“a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.’ Caroline Bingley…’All this she must possess,’ added Darcy, ‘and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

After reviewing this statement I have discovered that I am Mr. Darcy’s perfect woman.

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1)Knowledge of Music

I grew up in a musical house, although I cannot play any one instrument profusely. Here are some of my musical accomplishments.

  • The Afoxé: I love this instrument and have been playing it my whole life.
  • The Piano: I know how to play Hot Cross BunsRugrats Theme, and Chopsticks.
  • The Recorder: This is the instrument that I am best in. I learned how to play the Star Wars Theme, Hot Cross Buns, Three Blind Mice, Yo Ho (A Pirate’s Life for Me), and every song from Disney’s Pocahontas.
  • The Guitar: I know one very old hymn.

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2) Singing

I have sung my whole life. I absolutely love to sing along to anything playing that I know. I was in many musicals in high school; having little solos. The only bad thing is that I have an alto voice, which has never been prided on. Everyone always prefers sopranos in women. At least I have Motown to fall back on. Motown cannot be sung right by a soprano, they are just not able to belt out the tunes.

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3) Drawing

I took painting and drawing classes for two years before I switched to photography. Now I am not one of those geniuses who can draw or paint a perfect image from memory, but I do extremely well at drawing if I can see the image I am trying to sketch. Painting, I only do well at watercolors, or objects such as a room, plate, frame, etc. I also do very well in pastels and chalk. Cartooning is another thing I do well, as you don’t have to apply to realistic proportions. My main forte is in decoupage, collaging, and photography.

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4) Dancing

I am not the world’s best dancer, but my biggest strength is that I am a fast learner, and can be taught dance moves quickly. However I have been trained in certain areas.

  • Waltz: I learned this from the Sleeping Beauty’s collector edition DVD. It was very easy to learn
  • Thriller: Love the song and know almost the whole dance.
  • Flashdance: I know the whole dance, but am not as good as her.
  • Ballet: Was in a class for a few days before I transferred out, I was put there by accident. However, what I learned there will forever remain in my mind.
  • The Time Warp: Such a fun song!
  • Bollywood: I watch a lot and love to dance along.
  • Mash Potato: Such fun!
  • The Twist: Who doesn’t like to twist?
  • Square Dancing: A fun requirement everyone has to learn.
  • Line-Dancing: I love all types of music, country being one of them.
  • West Coast Swing: Unfortunately there weren’t enough guys so I learned the guy’s part instead of the girls.
  • Breakfast Club Dance: Not only can I do the feet thing, but I have Ally Sheedy’s dance down.
  • MC Hammer: Only Can’t Touch This, and not even all of that.

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5) Modern Languages

I wish I knew more languages fluently, but alas I am only bilingual (and even that some may not count.)

  • Fluent American: Not the same as English as we have a mix of slang from many different cultures and word’s that have multitude of meanings.
  •  Fluent English: I know the proper and elegant way to word things, along with a lot of English slang.
  • Some Spanish: My family is part hispanic and I have taken three years of spanish class. I know how to introduce myself (Me llamo es), say where I am from (Yo soy de), if I want to go somewhere (Yo voy, tu vas, nosotros vamos…), how to ask for things (puedo por favor; donde esta…), help (ayudame), the weather, how to say I am hurt or injured, can count etc…
  • Smattering of French: I know how to say hello, good-bye (five different ways), and a few other things.
  • Sign Language: I know quite a few words and the whole alphabet.
  • Danish: A few words here and there

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5) Something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions

Got all those covered. Everything in my manner of doing things always brings support to what I am talking about.

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6) Extensive Reading

This is where I fit the bill most of all. I have been reading since I was a small child, and I READ ALL THE  TIME. I am never without a book, and devour them extremely fast, no matter the length. In fact I meet my goal of reading 365 books this year a couple of weeks ago. And I love to read EVERYTHING! Mystery, classics, sci-fi, horror, romance, historical fiction, non-fiction, biography, westerns, plays, novels, etc. I love the library, that spend as much free time there possible. One of my favorite things is to just go through the stacks and look at all the different books, choosing which I think will be best. I have too many favorite books and authors that I just can’t pick one. I really want a library like in Beauty and the Beast or The Swan Princess. I mean if Darcy has asked me to marry him in his rude, conceited way that first time; I would have considered saying yes because I would know he would have a fantastic library.

diewithbooks

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7) Embroidery

I know that this isn’t technically something that Darcy said was attractive in a woman, but it was something that most people valued a woman knowing back then. I only know hand sewing, and that in itself is mostly subjects related to patching; but I embroider like a boss. I have been doing it ever since I was a kid, amd enjoy it immensely.

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8) Cooking

Yes, I know. Only poor women or domestic help cooked at that time, but I’m proud of the fact that I am an extremely good cook. I can make anything, as long as I have a recipe, and am not daunted at trying new things. And for all the modern men out there, I make the best sandwiches out of every person I know. My older sister and I used to kid that I would make one very lucky guy extremely happy with that talent.

Well with all these accomplishments; along with filling many others that we value today, what guy wouldn’t want me? LOL

To see what you get go here

To see what you get go here

How many of you out there also fit the bill for Darcy’s Dream Date?

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For more on Mr. Darcy, go to Mr. Darcy: Man of Dream
For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to Flirting With Disaster
For more bookish posts, go to Never an Empty Bed
For more quizzes, go to By George He’s Perfect
For more on my thoughts of music, go to On the 6th, 5th, 4th, 3rd, 2nd, & 1st Days ‘Til Christmas
For more of my favorite quotes, go to Novel vs. Reality

Mr. Darcy: Man of Dreams

The many handsome men who have played Mr. Darcy

Last night I dreamed I went to Manderly…

Just kidding! 😀 Last night as I dozed off to La-la-land, Mr. Darcy decided to make a pit stop and visit me along the way.

Anyways, in my dream last night Mr. Darcy appeared. Not very unusual you might say, as many women dream of him with his face being one of these above choices. But to me I found it odd as:

  1. The last thing I thought of before I went to bed was the movie, Walk the Line. If any famous man showed up in my dreams I was expecting it to be Johnny Cash or Joaquin Phoenix
  2. Mr. Darcy wasn’t his usual self, a gentleman from Regency England, but instead an Englishman from present time

Usually if Darcy makes an appearance in my dreams he never comes as a modern man. Must be watching too much Lizzie Bennet Diaries or something. ( I heavily recommend the Lizzie Bennet diaries as I felt they are doing a wonderful job.)

So Mr. Darcy, a Bill Gates/Steve Jobs technology emperor, was visiting me. Apparently we had mutual friends. I had to clean my whole house as I knew Mr. Darcy would be insufferable making fun of anything he feels that is tacky or beneath him. I also spent hours preparing the perfect meal, so he couldn’t make any comments about it being lowbrow. However, he had already had his change of heart and was trying to be kind to me:

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When my niece wakes me up asking me to make her  breakfast and play barbies.

I spent the whole dream working, that when I woke up I felt even tireder than before. Aw, but such is life!

But it got me thinking, if Mr. Darcy was in today’s time what do you think he would be interested in doing? He would have plenty of  money and a good education, what do you think he would be most interested in?

Leave a comment!

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For more of my dreams, go to Krueger Town

For more on Mr. Darcy, go to Mr. Darcy’s Dream Date

For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to Flirting With Disaster 

For more on the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, go to It is A Truth Universally Acknowledged…