So if you have been following my blog you probably wonder why my attitude from my ex went from I’m happy it’s over to he’s a cheating, lying,
Some of you are probably like that is every relationship, but no that’s not the reason. Let me back up and just give you who are new to following a brief recap.
So my ex and I broke up last year and it was not the best ending for me. You see I was away at school and we were trying to make a long-distance relationship work.
I had thought things were fine, until Michael, my ex started talking to me less and less. I went down to see him and he took an extra shift. When I was coming back for Thanksgiving he wasn’t sure he would be able to fit me in.
Now for all you people (and me now) it is clear that this guy was obviously moving on from me. But of course, I didn’t see it as:
So he was talking to me less and less and I was just so confused by it.
My grandfather died, and still barely any peep from him. I know, my grandfather dies and he can’t see me or comfort me. What a major loser, am I right?
So I go surprise attack him and see him, trying to get an answer out of him why he was so distant. Did he even want to stay together? You know, the usual questions. I mean I was so confused and unhappy and emotional, I just wanted the truth. We ended up breaking up. Now at first I was completely heartbroken, and there are earlier posts which detail that phase of my life.
In fact I stupidly blamed myself for most of it. Maybe if I had done this differently or this we would still be together.
Luckily, I eventually realized it wasn’t all my fault, in fact I was a great girlfriend. I sent him care packages, I treated him wonderfully and he was the one who was acting wrong and not like a boyfriend at all. I mean I got hit on by tons of guys and could have cheated on him or passed him up for someone “better”, but I didn’t as I really cared about him. I’m not gonna lie, it took a while, but I eventually got over him.
I realized that breaking up was better than being in a relationship that was becoming non-existent.
I mean he couldn’t even get up the balls to break up with me. Like what was he expecting me to do over Christmas break? Never come around?
But then I found out something. You see, Michael was cheating on me those past few months of our relationship. When I found that out I was incensed! I wanted to hurt him so bad!
I was seriously angry. I would imagine myself going and punching his lights out.
I really wanted to make him pay. In fact it took every ounce of my will to not go to his work and teach him a lesson.
Now some of you this might seem a normal response, but for those of you who are shocked or appalled at my confession, let me tell you why this rankled me so much. You see I have always vetted the guys I date very throughly, so much that many don’t make it far with me. Yes, I’m picky but I just don’t want any old boy.
And I had allowed Michael to get farther than any other boy had. I became his girlfriend, which is something I had always stayed away from becoming as I was always afraid of picking the wrong guy. With Michael, I didn’t think we were soul mates or meant to be together forever, but he just seemed so right.
Only for me to find out I was dead wrong. Extremely wrong. You see when he asked me to be his girlfriend I told him I had three rules he had to agree to for me to say yes. The first was to NEVER, EVER cheat on me. Cheating is just a horrible thing to do as it screws people up for a long time. Second to call or skype me once a week, and third visit me at least once a semester. He agreed, especially to the first rule as he had been cheated on before and knew what it felt like.
That horrible guy!
How could he treat me like that if he knew how it felt! I was enraged! But slowly, I got over it.
It sucks that the first guy I gave my heart to turned out to be such a Wickham:
But I’m not going to let him have any more power over my life. I already wasted time thinking, crying, plotting revenge, etc on him.
It sucks that he turned out to be such a rotter, but that’s life right? You can’t protect yourself from everything.
Bitterness, resentment, and revenge may seem like your best friends, but they really aren’t doing you any favors.
After all, they’ve already misused you, why let them continue that. It is always better to move on.
And I’m not letting that guy hurt me anymore. After all I got the best deal. I love his family, and they still love me. Plus I’m amazing! Eventually, maybe not anytime soon, but one day he’ll realize what a catch I was and kick himself for letting me get away! Your loss!
And someone else’s gain.
And you are out of my thoughts forever.
And that would be the end of the post, except for one thing. I did see him again. And no I didn’t hit him or injure him.
You see every year my family goes to see the free Christmas play in town. And this year guess who had the lead? Michael.
No I’m kidding. It actually wasn’t that bad. I saw his relatives again who I absolutely adore. I saw him and to be honest I didn’t care. I will admit that at one time the urge to kick him really hard came over me:
But it was a really small urge.
In fact seeing him again, I actually wasn’t impressed. No heartfelt longing to get back together. No breaking down and crying. In fact, nothing at all.
Now some of you might be wondering why I haven’t said anything about the girl he cheated on me with. I don’t really feel as if I can say anything because I don’t really know her role in this. Did she know he had a girlfriend? Did she try purposely to break us up? And to be honest, if she was actively involved than she is a horrible person, as scamming on somebody else’s person is just down right low. But, the person in the relationship is more at fault as they should know better.
And you know what, whoever is at fault, they’re going to get what’s coming to them. What goes around comes around. I don’t have to settle the score as someone else will. What’s important is to concentrate on me, and the next phase of my life.
Some of you may think, that’s a lot of personal information. Aren’t I worried if the guy finds out and reads it? Well, first of all:
And secondly, if he wanted me to say something nice, he should have been nicer.
Now I’m planning this to be the very last post on my ex, I’m not planning on seeing him ever, and I don’t think I will write another thing on him. Now think is the operative word as every time I thought the Verne Saga was over, he would come around again.
So I am going to end this last ex post with something I want you all to remember. If you have ever been hurt by someone, let it go and never, ever let it take over your life or destroy your personality.
For more musings of me, go to Concentrated Awesome
For more on getting over a broken heart, go to If It Means A Lot to You
For more on Nicholas Sparks, go to I Don’t Want to Be in Love (Dance Floor Anthem)
For more on Sarah Dessen, go to I Will Survive
For more on Steve Maraboli, go to Love Will Find a Way
For more of my favorite quotes, go to The Many Reincarnations of Me