It Was the Curse. My Curse: The Cheerleader Murders (2016)


The_Cheerleader_Murders_2016_8060405

“It was the curse. My curse.”

So I was housesitting and dogsitting for a family friend while they went camping, and they asked if I would hang out with their dogs as they just love attention. They told me to help myself to anything to drink and that I could watch TV or movies.

Sounds good to me.

Sounds good to me.

As dogs love attention I would come multiple times a day. And as I don’t have cable anymore I miss watching TCM (Turner Classic Movies) along with Lifetime and Hallmark.

So I was checking out what was on and then decided to look up xfinity’s on demand. I came across this movie’s summary.

Ellie was just your regular cheerleader until her father and sister were murdered. Now she’s investigating, but then two other girls are kidnapped. It seems as if the killer is on to Ellie’s investigation. Will she figure it out before they go after her next?

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

I thought it sounded great. Girl’s father and sister are murdered and she’s hunting down the killer’s in this huge game of cat and mouse?

I'm ready to watch

I’m ready to watch

This film was no where near that at all.

Majorly

Majorly

Instead it was stupid, Ellie was a giant numbskull, and it was extremely obvious who the killer was. I hated it and wished I hadn’t wasted my time.

lord-henry-remind-u-that-ur-getting-old

However, as I already spent about two hours watching, so you guys are going to get my review.

startrekletsgetstarted

As I didn’t really like the film it will be mostly images from other things. Just a quick FYI for you all.

halloween banner

So the film starts off extremely strangely. The girl believes everything that has gone wrong in her life is because of a curse.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Some “curse” of cheerleaders follows her family. First the prom king was killed  when he was with her mom in high school. Then her sister and her boyfriend broke up. He didn’t take it kindly and snuck into the house. Ellie saw him and didn’t say anything due to her shock. He went into the sister’s room and shot her.

OMG gasp

The father hearing the cries came out and was shot as well. The boyfriend then committed suicide.

Under Capricorn Aah oh no ugh

Ellie blames herself for the murders, saying they happened because she is cursed.

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

Now I get blaming yourself (even though it wasn’t her fault. In fact if she had tried to do something she probably would have been killed) but a curse? A curse? Really? Why does she believe it? It makes zero sense, it just doesn’t jell of line up. There is no reason why she would believe she is cursed.

huh

huh

So now it is a year later. The mom and daughter are strangely still living in the same house. I don’t know way they wouldn’t have moved, I sure would’ve.

Getting out of here

Getting out of here

So Ellie is friends with the two most popular girls in school, also cheerleaders, Morgan and Dee. Morgan’s parents are out of town so she’s having a sleepover with Dee and Ellie. Ellie also dates the newest, yet hottest, guy in the school; Nicholas.

hot pretty sexy

They think they are pretty hot.

Meanwhile, there is a guy who is on the fringe of high school social society, Ben. He tries to talk to Morgan but Dee scares the “loser” off.

ChristianSlaterHeathers

Meanwhile, Morgan and the coach seem very friendly, so much that there is a rumor that something might be going on there but Morgan denies it.

Mmhm great gatsby

At the sleepover one of the girls notices a little clay bunny. They ask Morgan where it came from, but Morgan doesn’t know, it just appeared.

weirdtwilightzone

So the sleepover doesn’t end well. Ellie and Dee are trying to find out if Morgan’s rumors with the coach are true. She gets mad and says some remarks to the two girls. Dee strikes back and Ellie gets offended when they say something that triggers her father’s and sister’s death.

HateEverythingthewomen

Ellie leaves and heads home. When she arrives there she finds a clay bunny in her room too.

Gilmore girls creep

The next day Morgan and Dee don’t show up at school. It isn’t weird that they would skip, as neither girl is really an academic like Ellie, but hey would never miss the big day of the pep rally, I mean after all Dee’s the head cheerleader.

Something is not right!

Something is not right!

Ellie decides to drive out to the house to check on the girls, but both are gone! And it looks like a struggle!  She calls the police and they start investigating as to what could have happened.

Hmm...

Hmm…

Ellie goes home where they have the police wait outside just in case. After all, everyone knew she was going to be at the sleepover, she is lucky she left when she did or she would’ve been taken too.

Woah! Close Call!

Woah! Close Call!

Now I don’t understand why she thinks there is a “curse” that affects her. I mean she is pretty lucky. Here she wasn’t kidnapped, and later  she does some real stupid things but makes it out okay. If anything she should think she is a “blessed” person.

MeanGirls I know right!

Anyways, so she is at home while her boyfriend pulls a Billy from Scream and sneaks in through the window instead of going through the front door.

Billy-From-Scream-scream-1804906-547-342

Now immediately I think, “hey, he’s new in town, this never happened before they moved here, and he gives off mega Billy vibes.” He is definitely in the equation.

MeanGirls I know right!

So they end up finding Morgan’s body out of town in a ravine. It matches up with some other deaths that have happened all over the country, and is clearly the work of a serial killer. The FBI are called in and are very interested in Ellie.

suspicious Hmm

But why would they think that Ellie is involved? There is zero evidence and no reason why she would do such a thing.

come on

The FBI find a clay bunny in Dee’s room as well. Could it be left by the killer?

paris-whenitsizzlesaudreyhmmHepburn

Ellie then receives a threatening note at school and decides to tell NO ONE ABOUT IT!!

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

What the HECK?!! WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?! So stupid! TELL the POLICE!!!

Every time!

And this makes no sense at the end. How did the…whoa getting a head of myself.

So Ben has been questioned by the police and acting up, yelling, being mean, etc. Ellie becomes suspicious of Ben and decides to investigate.

I-got-this-reaction-gif

And DOES THE STUPIDEST THING EVER!!! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING GOING TO THE HOUSE OF A PERSON YOU THINK IS A KIDNAPPER AND MURDERER?

doyouwanttodie

There, at Ben’s house, Ellie finds a bunch of clay bunnies. She freaks out, and then Ben come home with his drugged up mother. He says that he did leave the bunnies, but only because he wanted to be friends with them.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

Well then why you creeping around? I mean I know that he didn’t feel he could approach them one on one in school, as they might be cruel or laugh in his face. But come on man, did you really think that by breaking into their house you would become besties with them?

stupidestThingeverheard

Ben gets arrested, of course, but I know it’s not him. 1) He doesn’t seem like a killer, just a misunderstood boy looking for the love he is not getting from an abusive mother. 2) Its too easy. 3) There is a whole lot more left to the film.

Nope, not him.

Nope, not him.

Now Ben, I feel bad for you but you are going about this all in the completely WRONG way. First, stop skulking about the halls, no one likes a skulker. Second, stop being so mean and grouchy. Everyone likes a brooder but not someone who yells all the time. “10942424_357159407813870_3439160684594339232_n

So Ellie gets more threats, but these through her text messages. She still choses to not discuss it with the police.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

She’s also not even freaked out that crazy kidnapper and murderer, nay serial killer is after her. She’s just like no big deal.

really? I can't stand this movie.

really? I can’t stand this movie.

So she is not at all questioning her boyfriend or his father’s weird behavior. I mean she barely knows them, they just moved here, none of this happened before they came.

It is totally one of them and I'm leaning toward the dad.

It is totally one of them and I’m leaning toward the dad.

Ellie decides to head out to where Morgan was found and the little altar/memorial they made for her but does the stupidest thing in the world.

really? I can't stand this movie.

really? I can’t stand this movie.

First, she was supposed to go with her mom but tells her she can’t because Nicholas and her are going together. Then Nicholas offers to go with her but she turns him down as she wants to go BY HERSELF TO TRY AND CATCH THE KILLER!!! Can you believe that? How stupid! Did you just forget that you’ve been threatened twice already?

You are just asking to be killed.

You are just asking to be killed.

So I’m like please take a weapon or something with you, and does she? NO! BECAUSE SHE IS A BIG, FAT, STUPIDHEAD. Jeez, I try not to judge but you are really encompassing that stereotype of dumb cheerleader because you are so dumb!!!

My dream ending is that Ben will comes to Ellie’s rescue somehow, redeeming him and making everyone love and want to be his friend. That’s how I would end it. Either the dad or boyfriend turns out to be the psycho and Ben has to help her.

Scream 2 geek get the girl

But back to the film. As soon as Ellie gets to the memorial, everyone just disappears! Why?

2013-11-27-bradpitt friends ugh slap face stupid

Morgan’s dad comes depressed, sad, and acting really creepy. A big red herring is what I think, tossing him in like that as a potential suspect.

You think I'm really going to fall for that?

You think I’m really going to fall for that?

As Ellie is leaving a car kind of attacks her and they go on a chase, but he takes off and Ellie gets no plates or anything.

So Ellie decides to drive up the highway where Morgan was found. So goes up to THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!!! YOU ARE JUST ASKING TO BE KILLED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!

meettheRobinsonsPlannotthoughtthrough

She finds this house that is all alone and just looks like the ideal murder spot. And what does she do? Call the police? NO OF COURSE NOT. THIS DUNDERHEAD DECIDES TO GO MARCHING IN. Just because you can’t see a car doesn’t mean the killer isn’t there. And what if there is more than one? Eh? You don’t have anything to protect yourself. I mean, seriously.

Look at your life, look at your choices. You are making some really bad ones.

Look at your life, look at your choices. You are making some really bad ones.

So she breaks a window and gets into the house. Now of course this is the murder site, the writer of this flick wasn’t too bright or interesting. But what if this wasn’t the murder house? What if this house belongs to someone and you just wrecked it? You just don’t think do you.

Or do anything

Or do anything

This girl is so dumb, she deserves to die. Now I’m not usually that callous, but seriously the way she is acting. She’s asking to be a victim.

victimallyourlife

So Ellie hears a noise and heads down into the basement. There she finds Dee chained up, starved, and abused. Ellie gets her free and expects her friend to take off with her, but Dee is in too much of shock. She can barely move. If only Ellie had not forgotten to bring her phone.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

Yes this entire movie Ellie has her phone permanently in her pocket, but then this one time she cold really use it, she left it in her car.

ugh

Then the killer returns. This part as actually interesting as the girls have to play a type of cat and mouse trying to flee from their attacker. Now this guy is fast, really fast like a football player. Hmm…just like her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s dad…

suspicious Hmm

The killer is wearing a mask so they can’t see who it is. As they are running, Dee of course falls as she barely has control over her body after being bound for so long. The killer gets her as Ellie continues to run to the car and eventually has to go before she too is killed.

Told you so!

Told you so!

Again she blames the curse but this is on you. Too bad you didn’t bring a friend with you. Or your phone.

So later Ellie is an artist and draws the car that she saw trying to drive her off the road. Nicholas comes over to cheer her up when he looks at the sketch and freaks out:

Nicholas: [Worried] It’s happening again.

I-got-this-reaction-gif

The dad is the killer, he just has to be the one!

Then we have Ellie who is completely convinced she is cursed and everything is her fault.

Blah, blah

Blah, blah

Again with that? Really. I mean a five year old would believe that but you are almost an adult and you think a “curse” is to blame?

.

Anyways we have this weird and crazy flashback. This happens periodically throughout the film but have no reason. They don’t add anything to the story and they are just dumb.

really? I can't stand this movie.

really? I can’t stand this movie.

Ellie then gets a creepy message about how she can’t save the other? Others who? cheerleaders? I mean, come on. If you are going to threaten someone be clear.

So Ellie starts talking to her mom about the curse and the mom is actually pretty bright and decides to send her to the grandma in Sacramento.

It is extremely rare in this film.

It is extremely rare in this film.

Ellie is mad and decides to go see Nicholas to tell him good-bye. Nicholas isn’t home so the dad lets her go up to his room to wait for him. Nicholas’ room is really weird. He has a bunch of pics of himself, nothing with friends or anyone, just him. Weird.

Gilmore girls creep

Nicholas finally comes home and says some vague creepy things.

Nicholas: What if things weren’t exactly how you think they are.

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

The dad ends up killing his son and goes after Ellie taking her back up to the house. Luckily, the FBI were doing their job and has investigated the house, discovering it belongs to Nic’s dad. One of the FBI saves Ellie.

The film is over!!!

The film is over!!!

But Ellie still doesn’t think she is safe. She is still CURSED. UGH!!!!

stupidestThingeverheard

So yeah. This film was extremely bad.Do yourself a favor and just skip on by it.

halloween banner

To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to That Face-I’ve Seen Her Before…: Let Me Call You Sweetheart (1997)

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For more cheerleader-horror films, go to I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

For more on curses, go to You Will Die in Seven Days: The Ring (2002)

For more serial killers, go to She’s Been Totally Different…Like Stepford: Ted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)

 For more sucky films, go to Don’t F*** With the Original: Scre4m (2011)

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