I died for you! I came back from the dead for you! I love you!
So last year we had Teen Wolf
And Teen Vampire:
While I did cover Michael Jackson’s Thriller, it would have been nice to have a full-length teen zombie film.
But now I do with My Boyfriend’s Back:
I stumbled upon this on Amazon Instant Watch, recommended as I had loved Once Bitten. Well…I think Amazon needs to rethink that recommendation. The films had some similarities, both are teen horror-comedies, but this movie is one of the weirdest I have ever seen. And know I get to share that strangeness with you all.
Johnny (Andrew Lowery) is a nerd who has been in love with Missy McCloud (Traci Lind) since first grade. He tried to give her a dream gift and tell how he felt, but choked on the words, and has been doing so ever since.
When Missy and her boyfriend Buck break up, Johnny sees his in, but before he can ask her out, Buck comes back.
Buck’s minion (played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman) Chuck Bronski is weird guy who has murderous tendencies. He makes sure no one comes around his buddy’s girl and is extremely weird and creepy.
Why is he even allowed in school?
But Johnny won’t give up on his dream and comes up with what he thinks is the best plan ever. He will have his friend pretend to rob the store Missy works at, Johnny will save her, and Missy will fall in love with her.
Why would you do that?
Johnny tries to do his idea, but he ends up being interrupted by a real robber. When the robber is about to shoot Missy, Johnny jumps into the way, saving her, and with his dying words asks Missy to go to prom with him. She agrees.
I got the yes!
But Johnny dies and is buried.
Not really as this is a zombie film.
from Warm Bodies
Yes, Johnny rises from the dead as he has a date with his dream girl and intends to keep it.
The gravedigger tries to warn him that he can’t go back to the and of the living, but Johnny ignores him.
Bad things happen when you don’t listen
He goes home to the shock of his parents, although they quickly get over it as they are pleased to have their son back. He then goes to school and tries to make plans with Missy, but she is in shock. She only agreed to go to prom with Johnny because she felt bad for him, and to be honest, because he was dying.
She didn’t expect him to be a zombie and come back for her. Well Johnny is back and he’s not taking no as an answer. He is more determined than ever to get his prom date.
Buck and Chuck don’t like Johnny as a zombie any more than they did when he was a person. They are continue to bully him
from Back to the Future
And their behavior makes Missy decide to go out with Johnny. In fact she states to really enjoy his company, and become really into him. And I mean into him. As she wants to be with him even though she knows he is DEAD!
Johnny finally has what he always dreamed of getting…that is until Johnny’s ear falls off when he and Missy are making out.
He runs to the doctor, but they can’t do anything to fix him, he’s dead! The doctor promises to try and find a cure, and sends Johnny over to Maggie, the only person who can deal with zombies as her husband was one. She tells him that the only solution to keep him together is to eat human flesh. Something Johnny desperately does not want to do.
At school, he and Missy talk but then Buck and Chuck come into play, and Chuck chases after him trying to kill him WITH AN AXE. I don’t care that Johnny is a zombie, Chuck would probably have done this to Johnny sooner or later if he remained human. Chuck is that insane.
And in some weird twist, Chuck kills himself, and a hungry Johnny eats him.
Johnny is good for a while, but now everyone is after him as he ate Chuck. They come to his house after but are chased out by his mom. Now this is the only thing I liked in this film. His mom.
YES!!!! His mom.
So at first you think Johnny’s mom is just a cliché housewife. She always has food ready, wears her little pearls, and is just perky and cleaning and everything. But she adjusts from having her son be a zombie in no time at all, trying to help him in any way she can. (In fact she is so down with the whole thing she tries to bring him people to eat. That’s crazy!) The best scene is when an angry mob is trying to take her son and this prim little woman in pearls pulls out a shotgun, yes A SHOTGUN, ready to defend her son.
Johnny tries to fix things with Missy, giving her the locket he picked out and saved all those years ago. He wins her heart, but she’s the only non-relative who likes him. Everyone else wants him dead. Well to stay dead.
Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!
The doctor figures out how to help him, but his nurse convinces him not to waste the serum on Johnny, but use Johnny to make a giant batch of serum and sell it for millions.
So we have everyone in town after Johnny, him being captured by the doctor, while the rest of the storms the area looking for him. Missy and his friend find him, rescuing him as Johnny runs back to the graveyard. They end up in a shootout with his parents, and he manages to convince everyone to leave him alone, as all he wants is to be with Missy for prom.
He goes to prom, but then dies again
Johnny is sent to heaven, and then back as his death was a mistake. He goes to the prom with Missy (as saving her life was a good plan) and gets the girl.
Yeah, I did not like this movie.
It was really horrible, it was awful, it was a waste of time.
The jokes were not funny and not on point
There is no explanation for why this was happening to Johnny until the very end.
You got to play me like that?
And most of the plot was borrow from all kinds of films that came before it. Once Bitten, Heaven Can Wait, Teen Wolf, Little Shop of Horrors, Frankenstein, etc. It wasn’t interesting, or avant-garde- just recycled plots.
Andrew Lowery was so unemotional-even before he was a zombie. He was like a monotone John Malkovich.
As I have said before the psychotic and weird redneck Chuck, who no in this universe finds weird or creepy (except Johnny). I mean this guy is not normal! He is a psycho! Why does everyone act like it is okay?
Then there are these weird “dream sequences” the main character has like every five minutes in the film. Okay so it isn’t every five minutes, but it does happen so much that I spent 90% of this film confused as to what was really happening and what was just in Johnny’s mind.
Help me! I’m confused!
And Missy (Traci Lind) is a horrible actress. I can never tell if she is serious, joking, or what Johnny sees in his dreams. A lot of this film I just felt like what is going on?!
Halfway through I just gave up trying to get it.
The only thing worthwhile was Johnny’s mom:
I mean she is the scariest thing in this film. A sweet, adorable, intense woman who goes from talking about the four food groups to kidnapping children.
It wasn’t funny and the acting was horrible. My suggestion? Pass this one by.
And I know I do a banner thing every year for Facebook, part of my countdown to Halloween, but I couldn’t find a picture large enough. So no banner thing for this film.
To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)
For more zombie films, go to No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)
For more Teen Horror films, go to I’m…a Werewolf: Teen Wolf (1985)
For more Teen Horror Prom films, go to I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
For more Horror-Comedies, go to That’s What We’re Trying to Find out! We’re Trying to Find Out Who Killed Him, and Where, and With What!: Clue (1985)