The Story, We’re Living it. It’s Alive: The Brothers Grimm (2005)

Brothers_grimm_movie_poster

The story, it’s happening to us now. We’re living it. It’s-it’s alive, it’s real, it’s breathing.

So remember way back in April, when I talked about how much I love the Brothers Grimm and all their stories?

brothers grimm fairy tales

Well for those of you who don’t, I loved them. I used to read the stories over and over and over again.

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They are such a huge, huge part of my childhood. I not only read them, but I read like every version of their tales. Such as Shannon Hale’s The Goose Girl; The Princess Test by Gail Carson Levine; or The Rumplestilskin Problem by Vivian Vande Velde. And that’s just naming a few, I’ve read practically every version and retelling out there.

LifeasaFangirl

So when I saw a trailer for The Brothers Grimm I was so EXCITED! I’m not quite sure what I was expecting, I don’t even remember what the trailer was like. I just know if it had the Brothers Grimm’s name on it. I WAS THERE!!!!!!!!

excited

My mom, sister, and went to see it and I thought…..

Whattheheck

 

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING? THE BROTHERS GRIMM WHAT? THIS THING IS SO CREEPY I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! SCARRED!!!

Needless to say I didn’t like it.

I don't like it 11

I didn’t understands half the things that were happening! I didn’t like most of the characters. And I thought it was one of the creepiest things I had ever seen. And I was like thirteen at the the time and saw many different films, but this one creeped me out. After a while, I kind of forgot about it, other than I liked Heath Ledger (he’s always awesome) and that I actually liked Matt Damon in this.

What the

I know, I know. If you have been following you should be shocked at that statement as I have said quite a few times how much I dislike Matt Damon. I just think he is a horrible actor as he is the same in everything!! However, he was so different in this film that I actually forgot it was him. And that is what a good actor does, they melt away so all you see is their character on the screen.

So there! tongue sticking out pug

Anyways, so time past and I completely forgot about this movie. That is until I saw it on Amazon Prime Instant Watch.

It's Paul!

Amazon’s all watch this!

And I thought, hey, ten years have past. Maybe it’s time to give it another view.

The plot thickens

Why not?

And as I remember it being a horrorish/comedy film (what I call Com-Ror), I can totally review it for horrorfest. So here we go. I present to you:

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So this film is actually a melting pot. It is a historical fiction, horror, comedy, and fantasy concoction.

IndianaJonesHmmMaybe

And they actually work pretty well together.

So the film opens up with the poor Grimm family. The young sister is sick and they are all shivering from the cold as they have no more wood for a fire. Wilhelm, the oldest, is trying to be the man of the house and helping his mother while Jacob has gone out to sell the family cow. Instead of bringing back money, he has “magic beans”.

Spoke too soon

Poor, sweet, naive little Jacob. He was tricked into getting magic beans. The mom is sad, but Wilhelm becomes incensed and beats his brother.

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I know we are barely into the film and already we have a dead father, soon-to-be dead sister, a boy tricked out of everything, and then one brother getting beat by the other. That’s a really dark opening scene for a family picture.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

And by now you can kind of see the direction this film is taking. It is going to be the story pieces occurred in real life and lead to the collection of tales we have today. I have to say I was actually down with that. It could be pretty cool. The sort of prequel to Once Upon a Time or something.

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We then have the title and a killer opening scene. SUPER DRAMATIC! And I loved it! Dark night, rain, two strangers on horses with a note demanding entrance!

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It was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, it turns out that Wilhelm (Matt Damon), or Will as he is more often called, and Jacob (Heath Ledger), or Jake are ghost hunters/witch killers/ monster destroyers. Basically the 19th century version of Dean and Sam Winchester.

Supernatural

Say What

When I first saw this I was like what are you doing? I’m pretty sure that there were nothing like that. After watching I had to read up on them.

It turns out in real life that Jacob was actually the older brother. Their father did die when they were young and they had to take care of the family, eventually going to school for law. But later during the Romantic period, they began collecting folk tales, creating the classic literature we have today.

keanu Whoa

How did they go from that to:

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Yeah…

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

This was one of the reasons I wasn’t really into this “modern”, twisted type of film, in fact a lot weren’t. This film was actually ahead of its time as if it had come out a few years ago (instead of 10) it would have fit right in with Red Riding Hood (2011), Snow White and the Hunstman (2012), The Raven (2012), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), and Hansel & Gretal: Witchhunters (2013)I mean look at that poster! Isn’t this something you would see today?

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Eliminating Evil Since 1812 this is something you would definitely see today.

Anyways, back to the review. So the brothers are in Karlstadt to get rid of a witch menacing a mill. This is actually a pretty awesome scene as they fight the witch. I wish I could find a video. Oh well. This is kind of what it looked like:

black cauldron

So this witch comes at them and attacks. They try and destroy her, but she starts to control them and they start to fight with each other.

Spoke too soon

They fight, but Will manages to overcome it and kill the ghost. They get paid and all is well until we discover that the whole thing is fake. They hire two guys to play the monsters of the folk tales around the area, and then the Grimms come in and save the day by ridding the area of them.

Oh jeez.

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You are taking folk historians and making them not only hunters but conmen.

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Besides that, movie, I see what you’re doing.

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This is going to be one of those films where they show a fake thing in the beginning that is going to be the direction the film goes to in the end. You know like in An American Werewolf in London, where he growls at himself in a mirror, only to later do the same things as a werewolf.

Gotcha!

Oh well.

I guess we will just have to wait to see how it turns out.

So while in reality Jacob and Will were the best of friends, in this Will is extremely cruel.

Jerk

When he goes to give Jacob his half of the money, his has to throw in one last dig.

Will: Your half professor, or would you like it in beans?

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Come on Will, he was just a little boy!!!. He was trying to help!!!! Let it go!

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So while they are celebrating and having fun, we cut to the village Marbaden. A girl in a little red cape is looking through the forest. Now the forest is amazing! It is exquisitely beautiful and terrifying. It looks just like something out of an illustration in a book or a painting. The film was worth it for those moments alone.

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Anyways, the little girl becomes fightened and tries to outrun whatever it is, but doesn’t manage to and is taken.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

So as the the guys are celebrating their sucess, Jacob starts to feel down. He was a scholar and is unhappy as to what he is doing now.

All I could think was why isn’t he a scholar anymore? Did he lose his job? Was it because of the French? Time for a history lesson!

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So in 1837 the two lost their posts at the university of Göttingen as they went against King Ernest Augustus I who dissolved parliament and demanded oaths of allegiance from all employees. But this film takes place earlier than that…In the early 19th century, Napoleon was seizing control of the world and had gained Western Germany. It is logical that Jacob, being rather outspoken and prone to not always thinking before he speaks, refused to do something similar to what happened at Göttingen, and lost his position.

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Moving on…

Anyways, Will has gone on to be with some bar maids, while Jacob is scribbling in his book when a man charges in. It is the famous Italian torturer, Mercurio Cavaldi. He takes them to see French General Delatombe who is strangely played by the same actor who plays Elizabeth Swann’s dad in Pirates of the Caribbean.

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They have discovered that the Grimms are conmen, having captured their other workers, and tortured them And this movie spares nothing, showing the men upside down and covered in snails.

Whattheheck

Yes, snails. I mean I hate snails and that would be torture to me, but is having snails on you really painful? Let’s look it up! And I found nothing so I’m unsure why they would do that.

Anyways, Delatombe demands to know where the 10 missing girls are. Jacob and Will have no clue what is going on.

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

Apparently someone has stolen 10 girls from the village of Marbaden. The French General doesn’t like that the German people are not listening and reverting back to their cultural ways. He sends the Grimms and their team to solve the mystery, or be killed. The Grimms heartily go.

Meanwhile, two siblings have decided to go looking for the missing girls, Hans and Greta (Hansel and Gretal). The forest steals Greta’s scarf away from her, using it to eventually lure her away and capture her.

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Hans races home to find his father.

Back in the villlage the town has gathered and are telling the Grimm brothers everything that has happened. Who has disappered and how they have disappered.

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As they are talking, Hans rushes in and relates what has happened. The Grimms are eager to get started and ask for a guide. They recommend the “cursed one”.

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They go see the “cursed one”, who turns out to be Angelika. Her father was a great woodsman, but died last year in the winter snow, although a body was never recovered. Her two sisters were the first to be taken, hence making her “cursed”.

Reality Sucks

Angelika doesn’t want to help, but the torturous Calvadi convinces her, by almost killing her with a knife. And then he starts hitting on her in the nastiest way. He’s just ew!

ew! Gross Yuck

Yeah…

Certified Creepo Ribbon

So with all parties in accord they journey into the forbidden forest.

Now I just want to stop and say that I really like that while the film is predominately English (of course) there is quite a lot of dialogue spoken in French and German. I like when movies do that. Good going guys.

Take note Hollywood

Take note Hollywood

Back to the forest. Will is totally in his role saying how he “feels” things and can “sense” things.

And Jacob is all, whatever Will.

Karen stop talking

But he loves the forest as it seems as if all those stories he’s studied over the years are finally coming alive. In fact he believes that this particular story they are in is about King Childeric I’s beautiful Queen. She was the fairest of all, and cared only about herself. When the black plague came, she built a tower high above the forest and the dying people. Unfortunately she still caught it, but tried to use black magic to overcome it and live forever. The spell worked, but instead of remaining beautiful, she aged.

It was this bad.

It has been over 500 years and Jacob believes that not only is she in the tower, but she is behind it all.

Will on the other hand thinks that is the stupidest thing he has ever heard

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and that someone else is trying to con the villagers.

They find the tower in the woods, of which Angelika tells them that it was destroyed, but mysteriously grew back.

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Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Some of the first creepy things we see are all these ugly black bugs coming out of stuff. It’s like The Mummy beetles or something. Then the trees keep moving all around. If that was me I’d want to get out of there asap.

Run Away

So far we have had beetles, creepy trees, and now birds. Creepy birds right out of a Hitchcock scene.

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Gilmore girls creep

They want to leave and are trying to go, but can’t find the way as the trees have moved around.

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While everyone is distracted, a wolf transforms into a person, the woodsman.

I guess a backwards wolfman?

I guess a backwards wolfman?

And feeds one of the horses spiders. And guess which horse it is? Jacob’s.

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He leaves and the Grimm team regroups eager to leave the forest. Angelika grabs a toad and talks to it, licking its belly so it will point the way.

ew! Gross Yuck

DISGUSTING!!!!

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

At this point I was looking at Anjelika and thought, she looks really familiar. Where have I seen her before….?

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So I looked her up and it was LENA HEADEY. Man that woman, I CAN NEVER RECOGNIZE HER. She looks different in like every movie she is in. From The Jungle Book, to The Brothers Grimm, to 300, to Dredd, to Game of Thrones; man I never would have realized her characters were played by the same person unless you lined them up next to each other. And probably not even then. You’re good Lena, real good.

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So they make it back to the village. The Grimms are working as Cinderella’s in girls clothes, by orders of Calavadi.

Whattheheck

I told you he was one real sicko.

Meanwhile, a little girl hears a voice calling her. She gets up to see where it is coming from and it turns out to be one of the horses making noises. She goes over to calm it down. ALONE!

Every time!

Now this part always bothered me. We see how SUPER protective the father was of his daughter, and she knew that pretty much every girl has been captured and taken away, why would you do this alone? I would have woken up my father and been like I hear something come with me.

Now this part is truly disgusting with the horse. All these spiders come and make a web that grabs the girl, and the horse swallows her. The third most horrifying scene in this film.

There is always a but

It is so disgusting and horrible, but also very well done. The Grimm brothers and friends follow them and her and the forest is truly horrifying.

When the tree kills the man, just ouch.

Calvaldi believes that the Grimm brothers killed his men with the help of Angelika, and they all head back to see the General. Now this is the second most horrifying scene when they torture them, trying to get them to confess. They kill a kitten! A KITTEN! Why would they kill a cute orange kitten in this?

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

They convince the General they will stop it and head back to the village.

Now in this moment I realized how much I absolutely love Jacob Grimm.

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Jacob is a total fanboy!

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He loves folk and fairy tales, and has studied them for so long.

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And now he is actually in the story!! He gets to be the hero of his favorite thing to read!!! How awesome is that!!! That is like every fan’s dream. I know it was mine. There were so many places I always wanted to visit and so many tales I wanted to be the hero of. I AM JACOB.

Anyways so Jacob is really excited, but Will isn’t. In fact Will wants to take off and leave this all behind.

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And what’s wrong with that? Doesn’t everyone?

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Anyways, so Jacob tries to convince Angelika to help him out.

Will Grimm: Ignore him. He wishes his whole life was something out of a book. And now he thinks he’s in love.

Jacob Grimm: Shut up, Will!

Will Grimm: Angelika, do what your father wanted: leave the village now.

Angelika: No, Will. I’m gonna find my sisters.

Jacob Grimm: Will doesn’t care about them. Will doesn’t care about anything but himself!

Will Grimm: This isn’t a fairy tale. They are not coming back!

Jacob Grimm: This is not your world, Will! [to Angelika] Angelika, you know, don’t you? The story, it’s happening to us now. We’re living it. It’s-it’s alive, it’s real, it’s breathing. And we can give it a happy ending.

Angelika: Jake…

Jacob Grimm: Angelika, we’ll find your sisters. All right? We’ll bring them back.

Will Grimm: [getting angry] Bring back her sisters? [kicks Jacob] Bring them back? Bring them back with what? Magic beans?

Jacob Grimm: Why do you say that?

Will Grimm: Magic beans don’t work! They don’t bring people back to life! They did not then and they will not now! You go wait by the horses! Jacob, wait by the horses!

Will is such a jerk, I totally want to punch him in the face!

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Will talks to Angelika, but Jacob will not be deterred and he runs off to the forest to try and save the girls.

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But Will chases after him.

When Jacob punched Will in the face finally I was so happy. Yeah!!!!

Finally something GOOD!

Finally!

So now the brothers are back to being a team, but while they are doing that, back in the village comes the most horrifying scene ever. This is not for the weak of heart. I swear, this scene scarred me FOR LIFE! FOR LIFE!!!!

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So Sasha is going to get water from the well, when a bird falls in and…I can’t do the scene justice, you’re just going to have to watch it yourself.

OMG

That ball of goo coming to life

ew! Gross Yuck

Her face, eyes, and mouth melting away

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Then this black blob has her face and mouth and starts following her

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then it goes inside and grabs her and eats her!

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And turns into a cookie and runs away!!!

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I am SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! It gave me nightmares, it made it impossible for me to eat gingerbread for a few years. And I wasn’t a little little kid when I saw this either. I was 13. This scene, it just

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I have to move on now.

So the Grimms are in the forest. Will has helped get Jacob on top of the very high tower,

Don't fall.

Don’t fall.

On the roof Jacob notices the coffins they saw before are numbered 12, like a clock.

IndianaJonesHmmMaybe

Down below Will spots something strange in the water. It’s Sasha in a dress. He goes over to look at her, when the wolf comes.

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He changes into a person and we see his face, seeing that it is Angelika’s dad!!! He goes over to Sasha and places her into a coffin. On her feet form glass slippers, and he takes one drop of blood, giving it to a raven to give to the queen upstairs.

In the mirror she looks beautiful and young, but in reality she is an old skeleton.

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She starts to charm Jacob, while below Will has to deal with her woodsman.

The whole breaking the mirror destroys the power of the witch reminds me of The Picture of Dorian Gray. The only way to kill Dorian was to destroy his picture, the only way to kill this witch, break the mirror.

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They run back to the village with Sasha, Will being the one to kiss the frog to find out the way. When they get there, Sasha is prounounced dead as she isn’t breathing, even though Will saw her walk to the coffin. While they are trying to figure things out who should show up but the French General and a mass of troops.

They declare that the Grimms are really behind it all, having killed their two workers who “confessed” it all.

They decide they are going to burn down the forest and the Grimm brothers. As they are tied up and ready to start the pyre, they toss in Jacob’s book, his collection of tales. All I could think was

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

NOT THE BOOOOOOOOOOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anjelika has been able to free herself and she goes and saves the boys from being burnt to a crisp. Jacob tries to save his book, but Will drags him off as his life is more important.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

NOT THE BOOKS!!!!

you're evil

Now the Queen doesn’t appreciate anyone trying to destroy her home and sends out some magic that not only stops the flames, but takes out a few guys as well.

When the get into the forrest they run into the wolfman/huntsman who reveals to Angelika that he is her father. He was dying in the forest when the Queen found him and saved him. He is in love with her and would do anything for her. Even sacrificing his own children.

Star Wars Dark side power Darth vader

Not only did he take his two youngest girls first, but he snags Angelika to replace Sasha and complete the circle of 12.

How rude

I know he’s under a magic spell, but his OWN DAUGHTERS!!!

Will is totally unsure of what to do, while Jacob is in his element and has become even more attractive. Not only is set out on saving Angelika, but he also takes out the murderous General.

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It must be nice for Jacob to be the hero for once, instead of Will.

I noticed something about the French, German, and Italians. Everyone who is not German is a crazy psychopath. We have the murderous, vain, evil Queen; the gloutton, tortourous, evil General; Calvadi the pervert and master of torture; and then the general’s right hand man just as crazy and creepy. I think it was on purpose, trying to show the way that the Germans thought of the invaders, how stereotyped and evil they are. It works for the film.

New plan

Jacob climbs up the tower to kill the queen, but the knife he picks up is enchanted and he ends up stuck to the wall. I know that he had no other weapon on hand, but come on! She’s an evil sorceress, anything in the room that belongs to her, chances are she can control them!!!

Will ends up following Jacob and when he gets there the Queen enchants the knives so that they have a duel to the death. (Just like I said they would)

I think that is a pretty jerk move to slip from the knife so you brother can kill you. I understand why you do it as it is the only way to free one of you and have him save the day, but it still is pretty mean.

As Jacob is trying to figure out what to do next, the Queen decides that dear old dad, is too old, and turns her attentions toward Will becoming her love slave. As she is turning Will, Jacob finally remembers the mirror and destroys it, killing the Queen.

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So Jacob is the hero!

      Jacob’s Hero List

  • Save the Girls ✓
  • Defeat the Evil Queen ✓
  • Save the Day ✓

Now if only he had a plan on how to get out of a crumbling castle.

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He makes it out okay, but it looks like he celebrated prematurely. The girls are still dead, or really frozen in eternal sleep.

Spoke too soon

Spoke too soon

Jacob is lost in what to do, but Calavadi, who has now become a “Grimm-y”, tells him that in his home country there is a story of true love’s kiss waking the girl. Jacob goes to kiss Angelika, but Calvadi warns him that if the love is not true than Angelika will die!

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

Jacob goes for the kiss and…

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The spell is broken. All the girls come out and are alive and well.

Double double yay

Jacob goes over to Will, but he’s not moving…

Spoke too soon

Spoke too soon

Jacob is heartbroken, but Calavadi reminds him that a kiss could wake him too. As Jacob goes, Will interupts him. Yep it turns out that Will the stinker is alive and fine. Angelika kisses him to “wake him up”; and then everyone returns to town. There the village throws a big party, happy to have everyone back.

Will Grimm: I’ve been thinking of an alternative career path.

Jacob Grimm: Will.

Will Grimm: One that uses all of our new expertise.

Jacob Grimm: Will.

Will Grimm: Now, I haven’t really sorted it yet…

Jacob Grimm: Will, Will, Will, listen. This is the real world. We’re-we’re men without a country, we’re enemies of the state, and worst of all we haven’t a single bean to our name.

Will Grimm: It’s a good name, though, isn’t it?

Jacob Grimm: It’s a damn good name. Let’s dance. Come on!

TheEnd_Title_2

So how did I like it ten years later? I liked it. It made much more sense now that I was older and more used to this kind of film style. The CGI was pretty good for a 2000’s film, and the backgrounds were just beautiful. The story was so-so, but cute and funny, except for the three deranged parts. I don’t think this would be a movie I would purchase to add to my collection, but I definitely will re-watch it in the future.

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2005TheBrothersGrimm

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to It’s Mrs. Archer. She’s on a Rampage!: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

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For more Brothers Grimm, go to If the Shoe Fits: Why Cinderella is Actually Awesome

For more fairy tales, go to The Fans and the Furious

For more Horror-Comedies, go to I am the Chosen One. And I Choose to Be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

For more on Heath Ledger, go to You’re Just Too Good to Be True: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

For more on Matt Damon, go to A Horse’s Tale: Chinese New Year

Part IX: Adventures in Movie Lines (My Favorite Movie Lines List)

AdventuresinMOvieLines

Same drill as before…another installment of my favorite movie lines in no particular order, for your amusement. Enjoy!

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801)”Cameron: You embarrassed the girl. Sacrifice yourself on the alter of dignity and even the score.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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802)”Eloise Y. ‘Honey Bear’ Kelly: Let me jump to my own conclusions.”–Mogambo (1953)

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803)”Uncle Carmine: Brenda, I speak on behalf of your father, my beloved brother, that Morty is garbage, and it would be an honor to me to take him out.”–The First Wives Club (1996)

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804)”Hugh Forbes: Then, a toast: May their days be long and full of happiness; may their children be many and full of health; and may they live in peace… and freedom.”–The Quiet Man (1952)

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805)”Alex Fletcher: [singing] Sleeping with a clown above my bed…[spoken] ‘Clown’ is not right.
Sophie Fisher: That’s “cloud.” Why would you put a clown in your bed?
Alex Fletcher: It would not be the first time.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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806)”Cal: I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one… you never give up.”–Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011)

Neverleaveyou

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807)”Inspector Lestrade: In another life, Mr. Holmes, you would have made a excellent criminal.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, and you an excellent policeman.”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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808)”[finding empty liquor bottles in trash]

Brenda: Let’s examine the evidence. Look! all bottles and gallon jugs!

Elise: I had guests!

Brenda: Who? Guns N Roses?”–First Wives Club (1996)

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809)”Eloise Y. ‘Honey Bear’ Kelly: The only lions I ever want to see again are the two in front of the public library.”–Mogambo (1953)

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810)”Azeem: Is she worth it?
Robin Hood: Worth dying for.”–Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

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811)”Alex Fletcher: The best time I’ve had in the last fifteen years was sitting at that piano with you.
Sophie Fisher: That’s wonderfully sensitive… especially from a man who wears such tight pants.
Alex Fletcher: It forces all the blood to my heart.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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812)”Irene Adler: Why are you always so suspicious?
Sherlock Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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813)”Landon: [voiceover] Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything. About life, hope and the long journey ahead. I’ll always miss her. But our love is like the wind. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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814)”Mrs. Danvers: [the new Mrs. de Winter wants to dispose of Rebecca’s letters] But these are Mrs. de Winter’s things.

The Second Mrs. de Winter: I *am* Mrs. de Winter now!”–Rebecca (1940)

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815)”Wayne Campbell: [to an old man in the neighboring car at a red light] Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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816)”Elise: You think that because I’m a movie star I don’t have feelings. Well you’re wrong. I’m an actress. I’ve got all of them!.”–First Wives Club (1996)

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817)”Sherlock Holmes: You have the grand gift of silence, Watson; it makes you quite invaluable as a companion.”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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818)”Mr. Knightly: How pleasant to be absent, but in the hearts of everyone.”–Emma (2009)

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819)”Cleopatra: Together we could conquer the world.”–Cleopatra (1934)

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820)”Bonnie Lopez: [as Reilly is playing his flute] Do you have to do that?
Reilly O’Reilly: Aye. I’m Irish. It’s how I manifest despair.”–Luck of the Irish (2001)

huh

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821)”Alex Fletcher: [Sophie moves a chair] What are you doing, you madwoman, you’re wrecking my apartment!
Sophie Fisher: Well, I can’t write sitting all the way across the room.
Alex Fletcher: No, go back to your corner!
Sophie Fisher: …Fine, all right. [Goes, leaving the chair where she moved it]
Alex Fletcher: I’m blocked. How am I supposed to get out?
Sophie Fisher: Go out the other side.
Alex Fletcher: But… but… I’ve never been out the other side.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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822)”Sherlock Holmes: It’s a matter of professional integrity! No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man’s dead or not!”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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823)”Mrs. de Winter: Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.”–Rebecca (1940)

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824)Antoninus: Are you afraid to die, Spartacus?
Spartacus: No more than I was to be born.”–Spartacus (1960)

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825)King Leonidas: This is Sparta!”–300 (2006)

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826)”Alex Fletcher: Just a little bit louder, because this song is intended for humans, okay?”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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827)”Tramp: Say no more, I get the whole picture. Aunts, cats, muzzles… Well, that what comes of tying yourself down to one family.

Lady: Haven’t you a family?

Tramp: One for every day of the week. The point is, none of them have me.”–Lady and the Tramp (1941)

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828)”Sctanley: My name is Sctanley, spelled with a C.”–Couples Retreat (2009)

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829)”Stoney: Ya know what, Dave, just Chill, ’cause you know why? Link and I had a Stoney time at the Mountain.
Dave: You took him to Mega Mountain? Are you crazy?
Stoney: Yeah, ’cause they’re ridin’ The Vapor in reverse.
Dave: They are?
Stoney: Unh-huh!
Dave: Oh, cool!”–Encino Man (1992)

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830)”Halley: Sometimes things happens and you just have to deal.”–How to Deal (2003)

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831)”Brenda:[about her ex-husband’s mistress]What’s the matter, Morty? Can’t you buy her a whole dress?”–The First Wives Club (1996)

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832)”Sherlock Holmes: There’s only at one case that intrigues me at present. The curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I’ve been studying her comings and goings, they appear most… sinister.
Mrs. Hudson: Tea, Mr. Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: Is it poisoned, Nanny?
Mrs. Hudson: There’s enough of that in you already.”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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833)”Mrs. Weston: Perhaps some tea and cake would revive you, Mr. Woodhouse.
Mr. Woodhouse: Cake! Surely you’re not serving cake at your wedding, Miss Taylor! Far too rich, you put us all at peril! Where is Mr. Perry, the apothecary? I’m sure he will support me!
Mrs. Weston: Ah, he is over there, Mr. Woodhouse, having some cake.”–Emma (1996)

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834)”Father of the Bride: Hey, buddy, I’m not paying you to hear your thoughts on life. I’m paying you to sing.
Robbie: Well, I have a microphone, and you don’t, SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY D*** WORD I HAVE TO SAY!”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

Boy Meets World

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835)”Nick: When you give up your dream, you die.”–Flashdance (1983)

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836)”Sophie Fisher: Are you OK?
Alex Fletcher: Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. It’s just my Pop! hip. It comes from years of doing our patented dance move. My God, I’ve suffered for my art.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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837)”Ivana Trump: Ladies, you have to be strong and independent, and remember, don’t get mad, get everything.”–The First Wives Club (1996)

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838)”Rita: This day was perfect. You couldn’t have planned a day like this.
Phil: Well, you can. It just takes an awful lot of work.”–Groundhog Day (1993)

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839)”Qui-Gon Jinn: Remember, your focus determines your reality.”–Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

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840)”Lori: [walks in] What are you girls doing?
Carrie: Destroying a man.”–John Tucker Must Die (2006)

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841)”Alex Fletcher: They’re aliens, clearly, I have no children.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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842)”Willy Wonka: The suspense is terrible… I hope it’ll last.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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843)”Bulldog in Pound: He has an eye for a well-turned paw, he has. Let’s see, there’s been Lulu…

Toughy: Yeah, and Trixie…

Dachsie: Und Fifi…

Pedro: And my sister, Rosita Chiquita Juanita Chihuahua. I think.”–Lady and the Tramp (1941)

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844)”[on being told the Christians are being blamed for the burning of Rome]
Vinicius: The people won’t believe such a lie!
Petronius: But they are believing it. People will believe any lie, if it is fantastic enough.”–Quo Vadis (1951)

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845)”Athena: The gods cannot do for man what man must do for himself.”–The Odyssey (1997)

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846)”Edmund Bertram: Surely you and I are beyond speaking when words are clearly not enough.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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847)”Robert: So, what’s the deal with this prince of yours? How long you been together?
Giselle: [wistfully] Oh, about a day.
Robert: You mean it feels like a day because you’re so in love.
Giselle: No, it’s been a day.
Robert: You’re kidding me. A day? One day?
Giselle: Yes.
[wistful again]
Giselle: And tomorrow it will be two days.”–Enchanted (2007)

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848)”Cameron: And, um, and here’s another problem. Bianca said that Kat likes pretty guys.
Patrick: [looks confused and slowly rises] Are you telling me I’m not a pretty guy?
Michael: H-He’s very pretty. He’s a gorgeous guy.
Cameron: Yeah. I-I just wasn’t sure. I didn’t know.
Michael: [gives him two thumbs up] You’re a gorgeous guy.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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849)”E.L.F.S. Leader: Tinsel. Not just for decoration.”–The Santa Clause (1994)

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850)”Fanny Price: Beware of fainting fits. Beware of swoons.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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851)”Alex Fletcher: No, no. He is a jerk! He is a jerk. It’s not a question. He is a jerk!
Sophie Fisher: But…
Alex Fletcher: No, he is! He’s a jerk! He’s a jerk!”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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852)”Sherlock Holmes: The game’s afoot.”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

strange things are afoot at the circle k

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853)”Willy Wonka: So shines a good deed in a weary world.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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854)”Sedgwick: Danny, do you speak Russian?

Danny: A little, but only one sentence.

Sedgwick: Well, let me have it, mate.

Danny: Ya vas lyublyu.

Sedgwick: Ya ya vas…

Danny: Lyublyu.

Sedgwick: Lyubliu? Ya vas lyubliu. Ya vas lyublyu. What’s it mean?

Danny: I love you.

Sedgwick: Love you. What bloody good is that?

Danny: I don’t know, I wasn’t going to use it myself.”–The Great Escape (1963)

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855)”Susan Price: So, this Henry Crawford, what’s he like?

Fanny Price: A rake. I think.

Susan Price: Oh, yes, please.

Fanny Price: They amuse more in literature than they do in life.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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856)”Hector: And I’ve seen the limits of your mercy and I tell you now, no son of Troy will ever submit to a foreign ruler.”–Troy (2004)

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857)”Young Susan: Think up lots of stories for me and eat hundreds of tarts.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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858)”Kingpin: There’s an old saying that too much pride can kill a man.”–Daredevil (2003)

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859)”Fanny Price: Run mad as often as you choose but do not faint.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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860)”Mr. Connors: Well, what I mean is, it’s not what a person looks like that makes them what they are. It’s the intent of their hearts and the good they’re willing to do for others that matters.”–Behind the Waterfall (1995)

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861)”Willy Wonka: *We* are the music makers… and *we* are the dreamers of dreams.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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862)”Daniel Cleaver: If you have to travel alone, travel in style.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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863)”[Mr. Stratford makes Bianca wear a pregnancy belly before leaving for a party, Patrick arrives and sees her]
Patrick: [to Kat] Who knocked up your sister?”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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864)”Anne Elliot: Are you here for the concert?

Captain Wentworth: No, I am here for a lecture on navigation. Am I in the wrong place?”–Persuasion (1995)

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865)”Edmund Bertram: Your keen adaptability to my brother’s possible demise sends a chill through my heart. A chill. Happily planning parties with his money. You shush my father like a dog at your table, and then you attack Fanny for following her own, infallible guide concerning matters of the heart. All of this leads me to believe that the person I’ve been so apt to dwell on for many months has been a figure of my own imagination, not you, Miss Crawford. I do not know you, and I’m sorry to say, I have no wish to.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

Get out

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866)”Patrick: Was that a yes?
Kat Stratford: No.
Patrick: Well, then, was that a no?
Kat Stratford: No.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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867)”Donkey: Real smooth, Shrek. “I’m an ogre! Arrr!”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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868)“Dr. John Watson: [reading a note from Holmes] Come at once if convenient.
[flips the note over to back side] If inconvenient, come all the same.”Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

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869)”Mark Darcy: I should have done this years ago.

Daniel Cleaver: Done what?

Mark Darcy: This. [Darcy punches Cleaver, hard]

Daniel Cleaver: Ow. F*** me, that really hurt. What the f*** do you think you’re doing?

Mark Darcy: This.[Darcy punches Cleaver again, even harder]”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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870)”Rogers: What else is there? She says, “Is beauty all that matters?”, and you say, “What else is there?”!

Prince Derek: It was dumb. I know!

Rogers: You should write a book: “How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less”.–The Swan Princess (1994)

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871)”Miles: It’s Christmas Eve and we are going to go celebrate being young and being alive.”–The Holiday (2006)

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872)”Father Fitzgibbons: I’m sure that the way to say what I’d like to say will occur to me after you’ve gone.”–Going My Way (1944)

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873)”Henry Crawford: Fanny. You are killing me.

Fanny Price: No man dies of love but on the stage.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

film-strip-874)”Queen Uberta: Where is Derek? Oh,never mind,I know where he is. Working on the mystery of the Fat Animal.

Rogers: The Great Animal,Your Highness.

Queen Uberta: Great, fat. It’s large and has fur.

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875)”Natasha: Bizarre what some men find attractive.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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876)”Willy Wonka: So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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877)”Camerlengo Patrick McKenna: I did not ask if you believe what man says about God. I asked if you believe in God.
Robert Langdon: I’m an academic. My mind tells me I will never understand God.
Camerlengo Patrick McKenna: And your heart?
Robert Langdon: Tells me I’m not meant to. Faith is a gift that I have yet to receive.”–Angel & Demons (2009)

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878)”Edmund Bertram: There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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879)”Willy Wonka: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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1080)”Denise Hennessey: I hate cosmetics companies. They get you addicted to the perfect lipstick or nail polish and then, six months later, they discontinue it. You have to buy your favorite colors like you’re storing up for the Apocalypse.”–P.S. I Love You (2007)

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1081)”Prince Derek: What? You’re all I ever wanted. You’re beautiful!

Odette: Thank you. But what else?

Prince Derek: What else?

Odette: Is beauty all that matters to you?

Queen Uberta: Derek, what else?

Prince Derek: [stammers; to Odette] What else is there?

[Rogers imitates a buzzer]”–The Swan Princess (1994)

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 882)”Fanny Price: Is it possible to be so happy?”

Edmund Bertram: Yes. Let’s make it our business, Mrs. Bertram, to happy ever after.–Mansfield Park (2007)

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883)”Kat Stratford: [to Patrick  after he asks her out for the first time] Do you even know my name screwboy?”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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884)”Walter Burns: [ducking from Hildy’s throw and reaching for the ringing telephone] Oh, you’re losing your arm! You used to be able to pitch better than that.”–His Girl Friday (1940)

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885)”Daniel Cleaver: Come on Bridget, we belong together – you, me, poor little skirt. If I can’t make it with you then I can’t make it with anyone.

Bridget: That’s not a good enough offer for me.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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886)”Odysseus: Sometimes you need to serve in order to lead.”–Troy (2004)

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887)”Cardinal Strauss: [emphatically] Man is flawed, always. Even this one.”–Angels & Demons (2009)

 

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888)”Rothbart: Once you steal something, you spend your whole life fighting to keep it.”–The Swan Princess (1994)

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889)”Ms. Perky: So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Morgan’s class… again.
Kat Stratford: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.
Ms. Perky: The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you’re interested.
Kat Stratford: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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890)”Roy Miller: I’ve been trained to dismantle a bomb in the pitch black with nothing but a safety pin and a Junior Mint, I think I can get you in and out of some clothes without… looking. I’m not saying that’s what I did.”–Knight and Day (2010)

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891)”Cardinal Strauss: Mr. Langdon, thanks be to God for sending someone to protect His church.
Robert Langdon: I don’t believe He sent me, father.
Cardinal Strauss: Oh my son, of course He did…”–Angels & Demons (2009)

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892)”Princess Odette: Will you love me, Derek? Until the day I die?

Prince Derek: No, Odette, much longer. Much longer.”–The Swan Princess (1994)

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893)”Captain Harvile: Poor Phoebe, she would not have forgotten him so soon. It was not in her nature.

Anne Elliot: It would not be in the nature of any woman who truly loved.

Captain Harvile: Do you claim that for your sex?

Anne Elliot: We do not forget you as soon as you forget us. We cannot help ourselves. We live at home, quiet, confined, and our feelings prey upon us. You always have business of some sort or other to take you back into the world.

Captain Harvile: I won’t allow it to be any more man’s nature than women’s to be inconstant or to forget those they love or have loved. I believe the reverse. I believe… Let me just observe that all histories are against you, all stories, prose, and verse. I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which did not have something to say on women’s fickleness.

Anne Elliot: But they were all written by men.”–Persuasion (1995)

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894)”Kat Stratford: We’re going now.
Walter Stratford: Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, *no* ritual animal slaughters of any kind. Oh, God, I’m giving them ideas.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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895)”Mark Darcy: I like you, very much.

Bridget: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and… ah, the verbal diarrhea.

Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.”–Bridget Jones’Diary (2001)

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896)”Gru: This is literature? A two year old could have written this!”–Despicable Me (2010)

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897)”Joey: Mr. Morgan, is there any chance we could get Kat to take her Midol *before* she comes to class?
Mr. Morgan: Someday, you gonna get b****-slapped and I’m not gonna do a thing to stop it.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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898)”Willy Wonka: If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it; want to change the world… there’s nothing to it.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

changetheWorld

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899)”Odysseus: [to Achilles] War is young men dying and old men talking. You know this. Ignore the politics.”–Troy (2004)

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900)”Bridget: The only thing worse than smug married couple; lots of smug married couples.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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For the previous list, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Lines List

For more on 10 Things I Hate About You, go to You’re Just Too Good to Be True

For more on 300, go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more on A Walk to Remember, go to Fulfilling the List

For more on Behind the Waterfall, go to Pot o’ Gold

For more on Bridget Jones’ Diary, go to The Beauty of Darcy

For more on Cleopatra (1934) go to Snakes on a Post

For more on Crazy, Stupid, Love; go to Save the Last Dance for Me

For more on Emma, go to It’s All Jane Austen’s Fault

For more on Enchanted, go to According to Disney

For more on Flashdance, go to Darcy’s Dream Date

For more on The Holiday, go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more on John Tucker Must Die, go to Sucky Sequels

For more on Luck of the Irish, go to Friday Night Fun

For more on Mansfield Park, go to On the 10th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Music & Lyrics, go to I’m Sorry Sounds Better in a Song

For more on Persuasion, go to A Letter of Love

For more on Rebecca (1940), go to Mr. Darcy: Man of Dreams

For more on The Santa Clause, go to On the 11th Day ‘Til Christnas

For more on Sherlock Holmes, go to The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For more on Star Wars, go to And Away We Go

For more on the Swan Princess, go to You Should Write a Book

For more on Wayne’s World, go to Episode III: Revenge of the My Favorite Movie Lines’ List

For more on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, go to A Trip to the Mall Turns into the Twilight Zone

For more on The Wedding Singer, go to Love Stinks

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For more on Frank Perettigo to It’s Alive, It’s ALIVE!

For more of my fav quotes, go to Be Good to Yourself

Part VIII:The Little Movie Line List

MovieQuotes

Yep. it’s time for another My Favorite Movie Lines Lists! Enjoy!

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701)”King Henry VIII: Mistress Anne, will you teach the king of England how they dance in the French court?
Anne: There is nothing that France can teach England, your majesty.
King Henry VIII: Well said. Well said.”–Anne of the Thousand Days (1969)

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702)”Landon: I’m sorry she never got her miracle.
Reverend Sullivan: She did. It was you.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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703)”Flik: Here, pretend – pretend that that’s a seed.

Dot: It’s a rock.

Flik: Oh, I know it’s a rock, I know. But let’s just pretend for a minute that it’s a seed, alright? We’ll just use our imaginations. Now, now do you see our tree? Everything that made that giant tree is already contained inside this tiny little seed. All it needs is some time, a little bit of sunshine and rain, and voilá!

Dot: This rock will be a tree?

Flik: Seed to tree. You’ve gotta work with me, here. Alright? Okay. Now, y-you might not feel like you can do much now, but that’s just because, well, you’re not a tree yet. You just have to give yourself some time. You’re still a seed.

Dot: But it’s a rock.

Flik: [shouting] I know it’s a rock! Don’t you think I know a rock when I see a rock? I’ve spent a lot of time around rocks!

Dot: You’re weird, but I like you.”–A Bug’s Life (1998)

 

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704)”Princess Fiona: And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what’s he like?
Shrek: Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in “short” supply.
Donkey: Yeah! Though there are those who think “little” of him!–Shrek (2001)

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705)”Jack: You’re gonna pay a disobedience fee of $10,000! Plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar! And if you wanna see your friend alive again, do not call the cops! If you’re not here in half an hour to settle this, I’m gonna take the fine out on your friend’s legs! I’m gonna break ’em with this tire iron!
Dudley Frank: Don’t bring the money! I’m a computer programmer! I don’t need my legs!
Jack: Fine! I’ll break his hands!
Dudley Frank: Oh, d*** it. Bring the money!”–Wild Hogs (2007)

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706)”Scott: You’re perfect Kate… and so far not flammable.”–John Tucker Must Die (2006)

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707)”Hopper: First rule of leadership: Everything is your fault.”– A Bug’s Life (1998)

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708)”Anne: We had the situation under control.

Teresa: Yeah. We were about to go all Buffy on their gringo a****.”–Man of the House (2005)

 

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709)”Landon: Listen, Jamie, I was hoping we could run lines together?
Jamie: Okay, but just not so anybody knows, right?
Landon: Well I just figured we could surprise everyone with how good I get.
Jamie: Like we could be secret friends.
Landon: Exactly, exactly it’s like you’re reading my mind.
Jamie: Great umm… maybe you could read mine.
[she gives him a cold glare and turns away]”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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710)”Terry: You know, sometimes I just wish I was a guy.

Buddy: No, you don’t! The male body needs sex at all times! It’s a living hell!”–Just One of the Guys (1985)

 

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711)”Queen Gorgo: There’s only one woman’s words that should affect the mood of my husband. Those are mine.” –300 (2006)

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712)”Lord Farquaad: Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”–Shrek (2001)

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713)”Anne: No, he means the other Texas Rangers, you know, like The Lone Ranger.

Heather: He had that cool Indian friend, what was his name?

Teresa: Tonto?

Barb: He was hot! Why don’t guys wear loincloths anymore?”–Man of the House (2005)

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714)”Constance MacKenzie: All men are alike. The approach is different; the result is always the same.”–Peyton Place (1957)

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715)”Lucius: Always giving orders. Just like every other adult.”–Planet of the Apes (1968)

 

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716)”Ernst Robinson: It’s better to use your head than break your back, I always say.”–Swiss Family Robinson (1960)

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717) “Guinevere Pettigrew: Not everything comes along just when we want it. There are times when decisions just have to be made, or you certainly will miss out.”–Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008)

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718)”[teaching Dizzy how to fight]
Clem: First thing you wanna do is gouge the dude’s eyes out.
Luther: Hey, it’s just kids in high school.
Clem: Oh. So you’re gonna want to fight dirty. “–The New Guy (2002)

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719)”Tuck: You fired!

Roll: You fired!

Tuck: You fireeeeeed!”–A Bug’s Life (1998)

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720)”Terry: I’m just so confused.

Buddy: Of course you’re confused. You’re wearing my underwear.”-Just One of the Guys (1985)

 

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721)”Wayne Campbell: [after Ben orders Chinese food while speaking Cantonese] This guy is good.
Benjamin: I picked up a little Cantonese while I was in the Orient. You know, you sound a lot like you’re from Kowloon Bay as opposed to Hong Kong.
Cassandra: I was born in Kowloon Bay!
Benjamin: There you have it!
Wayne Campbell: This guy is really good.”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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722)”Shrek: Example… uh… ogres are like onions!
[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes… No!
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave ’em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs…
Shrek: [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.”–Shrek (2001)

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723)”Terry McKay: Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories…”–An Affair to Remember (1957)

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724)”Mrs. Thornton: A person doesn’t always get what she deserves. Remember it. If there’s anything in life you want, go and get it. Don’t wait for anybody to give it to you.”–Peyton Place (1957)

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725)”Guinevere Pettigrew: I am not an expert on love, I am an expert on the lack of love, Delysia, and that is a fate from which I wish more fervently to save you.”–Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008)

 

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726)”Alex Whitman: This morning I couldn’t decide between a hamburger and a tuna melt. But my life made perfect sense. Now I know exactly want I want, but my life makes no sense. Somewhere between tuna melt and your aunt’s tamales, life lost meaning and gained a purpose.
Isabel Fuentes: What are you saying?
Alex Whitman: I am saying- This is morning I was worried I’d met the girl of my dreams at the drycleaners and not recognize her. But you- you are what I never knew I always wanted.”–Fools Rush In (1997)

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727)”Dizzy/Gil: Don’t make me do crazy eyes…”–The New Guy (2002)

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728)”Loretta Lynn: [Loretta catches Doo with another woman] Woman, if you want to keep that arm, you better get it off my husband.

Girl at fairgrounds: Who are you telling what?

Loretta Lynn: I don’t know who you are, but I know what you are.”–Coal Miner’s Daughter (1980)

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729)”Dizzy/Gill:The onIy music worth being called music. I’m talking about the funk.–The New Guy (2002)

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730)”Lonny: Drew… what’s the name of your band, mate?
Drew Boley: Wolfgang Von Colt.
Lonny: …and you’re sticking with that are you?
Drew Boley: Yeah…
Lonny: [to audience] Please welcome to the stage very poorly titled Wolfgang Van Colt!
Drew Boley: …Von Colt.
Lonny: [to Drew] It’s not an improvement.”–Rock of Ages (2012)

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731)”Interviewer: Do you have a criminal record?
Rocky Balboa: Nothin’ worth braggin’ about.”–Rocky II (1979)

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732)”Novalee Nation: You tell them that our lives can change with every breath we take… and tell ’em to hold on like hell to what they’ve got: each other, and a mother who would die for them and almost did… You tell them we’ve all got meanness in us, but we’ve got goodness too. And the only thing worth living for is the good. And that’s why we’ve got to make sure we pass it on.”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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733)”Reporter: Where did you get the name, “The Italian Stallion”?
Rocky: Oh I made that up one night while I was eating dinner.”–Rocky (1976)

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734)”Henry Tilney: Now I must give you one smirk, then we can be rational again.”–Northanger Abbey (2007)

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735)”Willy Jack Pickens: Why does anyone lie? Cuz we’re scared? Or crazy? Or jut mean?… There’s a million reasons why a person lies… But sometimes, you tell a lie so big… that it changes your whole life… Lie’s so big… it makes you think…”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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736)”Ben Calder: If I kiss you, do you think they’ll shoot me?
Anna Foster: No, but I will if you don’t.”–Chasing Liberty (2004)

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737)”Donkey: You know, not everybody like onions. What about cake? Everybody loves cake!
Shrek: I don’t care what everyone else likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, “Let’s get some parfait,” they say, “H*** no, I don’t like no parfait”? Parfaits are delicious!”–Shrek (2001)

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738)”Grandma Halley: First loves are never really over. Nobody’s perfect, Sweetheart. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.”–How to Deal (2003)

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739)”Henry Tilney: No! The discourtesy was all his. I-I have broken with my father, Catherine, I may never speak to him again.

Catherine Morland: What did he say to you?

Henry Tilney: Let me instead tell you what I said to him. I told him that I felt myself bound to you, by honor, by affection, and by a love so strong that nothing he could do could deter me from…

Catherine Morland: From what?

Henry Tilney: Before I go on, I should tell you there’s a pretty good chance he’ll disinherit me. I fear I may never be a rich man, Catherine.

Catherine Morland: Please, go on with what you were going to say!

Henry Tilney: Will you marry me, Catherine?

Catherine Morland: Yes! Yes I will! Yes!–Northanger Abbey (2007)

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740)”Old Woman: [watching Shrek fight] The chair! Give him the chair!”–Shrek (2001)

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741)”Leland: You don’t care about anything except you. You just want to persuade people that you love ’em so much that they ought to love you back. Only you want love on your own terms. Something to be played your way, according to your rules.”–Citizen Kane (1940)

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742)”J.P. Prewitt: The truth is male models have been assassinating world leaders for over 200 years. Abe Lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right? Well, who do you think made the silk stockings and powdered wigs worn by our early leaders?
Derek Zoolander: Mugatu!
J.P. Prewitt: [pauses] Slaves, Derek. So they hired John Wilkes Booth to do Mr. Lincoln in. The first model/actor! Dallas. 1963. John F. Kennedy.
Matilda: Lee Harvey Oswald wasn’t a male model.
J.P. Prewitt: You’re ******* right he wasn’t, but the two lookers who capped Kennedy from the Grassy Knoll sure as s*** were!”–Zoolander (2001)

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743)”Annie Reed: Destiny is something we’ve invented because we can’t stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.”–Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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744)”Novalee Nation: It’s too late, isn’t it, Forney?

Forney Hull: Too late for what?

Novalee Nation: I lied to you, when you asked me if I loved you, and I said no. Remember?

Forney Hull: Yes.

Novalee Nation: I lied. It wasn’t true, I-I love you. It’s just I lied because I thought you deserved something better.

Forney Hull: Something better than you? Novalee, there isn’t anything better than you.

[they kiss]”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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745)”Catherine Morland: When shall we go into society, Mrs Allen? I suppose it is too late this evening?

Mrs. Allen: Bless you, my child, we neither of us have a stitch to wear!

Catherine Morland: I did bring my best frock and my pink muslin is not too bad, I think.

Mrs. Allen: No, no, no, no! Would you have us laughed out of Bath?

Mr. Allen: Resign yourself, Catherine! Shops must be visited! Money must be spent! Do you think you could bear it?

Catherine Morland: Very easily, sir!”–Northanger Abbey (2007)

 

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746)”Jack Colton: What did you do, wake up this morning and say, ‘Today, I’m going to ruin a man’s life’?”–Romancing the Stone (1984)

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747)”Chiron: Percy, take this to defend yourself. It’s a powerful weapon. Guard it well. Only use it in times of severe distress.
Percy Jackson: This is a pen. This is a *pen.*”–Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightening Thief (2010)

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748)”Ruth Meyers: My name is Ruth Meyers. Call me Ruth Meyers.”–Where the Heart is (2000)

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749)”[Riding in the curricle, Henry and Catherine see the first view of Northanger Abbey]

Henry Tilney: There.

Catherine Morland: It’s exactly as I imagined. It’s just like what we read about.

Henry Tilney: Are you prepared to encounter all of its horrors?

Catherine Morland: Horrors? Is Northanger haunted, then?

Henry Tilney: That’s just the least of it. Dungeons, and sliding panels; skeletons; strange, unearthly cries in the night that pierce your very soul!

Catherine Morland: [sardonically] Any vampires? Don’t say vampires. I could bear anything, but not vampires.

Henry Tilney: [laughing] Miss Morland, I believe you are teasing me now.”–Northanger Abbey (2007)

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750)”Patricia: I love you more than all the words in all the books in all the world.”–Why Did I Get Married? (2007)

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751)”Tiresias: It is the journey itself that makes up your life.”–The Odyssey (1997)

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752)”Lexie Coop: Americus? What kind of a name is Americus?

Novalee Nation: I wanted her to have a strong name.

Lexie Coop: Well, I guess I shouldn’t talk. I named my kids after snack foods: Brownie, Praline, Cherry and Baby Ruth.”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

 

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753)”Sam Baldwin: What is “tiramisu”?
Jay: You’ll find out.
Sam Baldwin: Well, what is it?
Jay: You’ll see!
Sam Baldwin: Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I’m not gonna know what it is!”–Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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754)”Judge Dredd: Judgement time.”–Dredd (2012)

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755)”[Jack takes Joan’s shoes and breaks the heels off so she can hike through the forest]

Joan Wilder: These were Italian.

Jack Colton: Now they’re practical.”–Romancing the Stone (1984)

 

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756)”Thelma ‘Sister’ Husband: Home is where your history begins. Home is where they catch you when you fall.”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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757)”Larry Zoolander: I just thank the Lord she didn’t live to see her son as a mermaid.
Derek Zoolander: Mer-man! [high-pitched cough] Mer-man!”–Zoolander (2001)

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758)”Becky: That’s your problem! You don’t want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.”–Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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759)”Jem Trehearne: That’s women for you – save your life one minute, frightened of you the next. I guess I’m not a very pretty sight at the moment, but I don’t bite, you know.”–Jamaica Inn (1939)

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760)”[after reading Joan’s new novel based on her adventure]

Gloria: Joanie, you are now a WORLD-CLASS hopeless romantic.

Joan Wilder: No, hopeful. Hopeful romantic.”–Romancing the Stone (1984)

 

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761)”Data: Hey McFly, you bojo, those boards don’t work on water!”–Back to the Future Part II (1985)

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762)”Shrek: [Burps] Better out than in, I always say.”–Shrek (2001)

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763)”Jamie: How can you see places like this… and have moments like this and not believe?
Landon: You’re lucky to be so sure.
Jamie: It’s like the wind. I can’t… see it, but I feel it.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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764)”Richard Hannay: I know what it is to feel lonely and helpless and to have the whole world against me, and those are things that no men or women ought to feel.”–The 39 Steps (1935)

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765)”Americus: Forney, if you give a cow chocolate will you get chocolate milk?

Forney Hull: Yeah. And if you spin a cow around real fast you’ll get whipped cream.

Americus: Wow! You know a lot.

Forney Hull: Well, I work in the library.”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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766)”May: Love is many things. It’s varied. One thing it is not and can never be is unsure.”–Madea’a Family Reunion (2006)

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767)”Prince John: And why should the people listen to you?
Robin Hood: Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.–Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

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768)”Marty McFly: Great Scott!
Doc: I know, this is heavy”–Back to the Future Part III (1990)

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769)”Dizzy/Gil: Did we give up when Pearl Harbor was bombed?
Football player #72: Hey, I thought that movie made money.”–The New Guy (2002)

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770)”Mark Darcy: I don’t think you’re an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother’s pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever’s in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences… But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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771)”Suze: Fluent in Finnish?
Rebecca Bloomwood: Everyone has fudged their resume a little.”–Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

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772)”Donkey: All right, nobody move! I’ve got a dragon and I’m not afraid to use it! I’m a donkey on the edge!”–Shrek (2001)

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773)”[a leaf falls in front of one of the worker ants in the food lineWorker Ant #1: I’m lost! Where’s the line? It just went away. What do I do? What do I do?

Worker Ant #2: Help!

Worker Ant #3: We’ll be stuck here forever!

Mr. Soil: Do not panic, do not panic. We are trained professionals. Now, stay calm. We are going around the leaf.

Worker Ant #1: Around the leaf. I-I-I don’t think we can do that.

Mr. Soil: Oh, nonsense. This is nothing compared to the twig of ’93.”–A Bug’s Life (1998)

 

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774)”Richard Hannay: There are 20 million women in this island and I get to be chained to you.”–The 39 Steps (1935)

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775)”Doc: No one should know too much about their destiny.”–Back to the Future Part II (1989)

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776)”Rebecca Bloomwood: Men like you are the reason I left Finland.”–Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

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777)”Shrek: Fiona? Are you all right?
[Fiona looks at herself, and sees she is still an ogre] Princess Fiona: Yes. But, I don’t understand. I’m supposed to be beautiful.
Shrek: But you are beautiful.”–Shrek (2001)

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778)”Sam Baldwin: I am NOT going to New York to meet some woman who could be a crazy, sick lunatic! Didn’t you see Fatal Attraction?”–Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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779)”Dr. Harris: I blew it didn’t I? Why didn’t I concur?”–Catch Me If You Can (2002)

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780)”Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read… if they can’t even fit inside the building?–Zoolander (2001)

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781)”Sherrie Christian: I’m a stripper at the Venus Club.
Drew Boley: I’m in a boy band.
Sherrie Christian: You win.”–Rock of Ages (2012)

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782)”Mable ‘Madea’ Simmons: I told you, you don’t know how to lie. What kinda lawyer don’t know how to lie? Lie and lawyer go together lie-awyer… lie-awyer!”–Madea’s Family Reunion (2006)

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783)”Landon: Jamie has faith in me. She makes me want to be different, better.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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784)”Derek Zoolander: I’m sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.”–Zoolander (2001)

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785)”Batiatus: Good luck, and may fortune smile upon… most of you.”–Spartacus (1960)

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786)”Manny: Utilizing psychic vibrations, I shall select the perfect volunteer.

Molt: Oh, oh, oh, oh! Pick me! Oh, oh! C’mon, I’m asking you with my brain.”–A Bug’s Life (1998)

 

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787)Frank Abagnale Jr.: [whispering to girl] Hey…You should fold it.
Joanna: What?
Frank Abagnale Jr.: That note. It’s a fake, right? You should fold it.
Joanna: It’s… It’s a note from my mom. I have a doctor’s appointment.
Frank Abagnale Jr.: Yeah, but there’s no crease in the paper. When your mom hands you a note to miss school, the first thing you do is, you fold it and you put it in your pocket. I mean, if it’s real, where’s the crease? [Joanna folds note to give it a crease.]–Catch Me if You Can (2002)

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788)”Angela: They’re just so sneaky that you think it was your idea.
Frances: Yeah. You’re sitting back and you’re like: “Oh, yeah. This my idea. But wait a second, why am I alone? Why am I unhappy?”
Angela: “Why have I gained 20 pounds?”
Frances: They Jedi mind-trick you. “–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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789)”J.P. Prewitt: Male models don’t think for themselves.
Derek Zoolander: That’s not true!
J.P. Prewitt: Yes it is, Derek.
Derek Zoolander: [meekly] Okay.”–Zoolander (2001)

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790)”Alex: I dunno… I like you
Gigi: [She’s taken aback] You do?
Alex: Well, yeah, okay, don’t start doodling my name on your binder, okay.”–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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791)”Capt. Crewe: Because it’s magic. Magic has to be believed. It’s the only way it’s real.”–A Little Princess (1995)

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792)”African Woman #1: I’m sure he just forgot your hut number!
African Woman #2: Or was eaten by a lion.
African Woman #3: You guys are awesome!”–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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793)”Stoney: Bud-dy!”–Encino Man (1992)

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794)”Gigi: I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You’ve think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an a** of yourself that way but you don’t fall in love that way either. You have not won. You’re alone. I may do a lot of stupid s*** but I’m still a lot closer to love than you are.”–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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795)”Mugatu: SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ’s sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They’re the same face! Doesn’t anybody notice this? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You’ve done nothing! NOTHIIIING!”–Zoolander (2001)

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796)”Sara Crewe: I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren’t pretty, or smart, or young. They’re still princesses. All of us.”–A Little Princess (1995)

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797)”Von Luger: Are all American officers so ill-mannered?

Hilts: Yeah, about 99 percent.

Von Luger: Then perhaps while you are with us you will have a chance to learn some. Ten days isolation, Hilts.

Hilts: CAPTAIN Hilts.”–The Great Esacape (1963)

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798)”Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope. “–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

film-strip-799)”Bridget: It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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600)”Scott Calvin: Hey, Charlie, you know how to call 911?

Charlie: Sure, 9-1-1.”–The Santa Clause (1994)

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For the previous list, go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more on A Bug’s Life, go to CANDY TIME!

For more on A Walk to Remember, go to Fulfilling the List

For more on Back to the Future, go to Fashion Show

For more on Bridget Jones’ Diary, go to The Beauty of Darcy

For more on Catch Me If You Can, go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more on Confessions of a Shopaholic, go to Episode V: My Favorite Movie Lines Strike Back

For more on Dredd (2012), go to Na-Na-Na-(Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na)

For more on Fools Rush In, The Swiss Family Robinson, and The Odyssey, go to Snakes on a Post

For more on He’s Just NOT That Into You, go to You’re My Exception

For more on Northanger Abbey, go to The Lining is Silver

For more on Rock of Ages, go to Don’t Stop Believin’

For more on Rocky, go to There’s No One Like Gaston

For more on Shrek, go to Episode IV: A New Favorite Movie Lines List

For more on Sleepless in Seattle, go to Anything Can Happen

For more on The Santa Clause, go to On the 11th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Wayne’s World, go to Episode III: Revenge of the My Favorite Movie Lines List

For more on Where the Heart Is, go to Forney Hull

For more on Wild Hogs, go to Sucky Sequels

For more on Zoolander, go to It’s Back:The Sequel

 

 

Part VII: It Was Said One Night (My Favorite Movie Line List)

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Here we go again! Another list! Hope you all enjoy it!

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601)”Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.
Carnival Barker: Well, you see that little spaceship there? You see how it’s not knocked over? You know what that means, Professor? It means you don’t get the unicorn! Aw, somebody’s got a frowny face! Better luck next time.
Gru: Okay, my turn.[Gru takes out a plasma gun and fires it, destroying the stand and disintegrating the spaceship] Knocked over!”–Despicable Me (2010)

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602)”Graham: Well, I cry all the time.
Amanda: You do not.
Graham: Yeah I do. More than any woman you’ve ever met.
Amanda: You don’t have to be this nice.
Graham: It happens to be the truth.
Amanda: Really?
Graham: A good book, a great film, a birthday card, I weep.
Amanda: Shut up.
Graham: I’m a major weeper.”–The Holiday (2006)

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603)”Wayne Campbell: So, do you come to Milwaukee often?
Alice Cooper: Well, I’m a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers were coming here as early as the late 1600s to trade with the Native Americans.
Pete: In fact, isn’t “Milwaukee” an Indian name?
Alice Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. Actually, it’s pronounced “mill-e-wah-que” which is Algonquin for “the good land.”
Wayne Campbell: I was not aware of that.”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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604)”Derek Zoolander: I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.”–Zoolander (2001)

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605)”Marian: There is a price on your head.
Robin Hood: How much?
Marian: One hundred gold pieces.
Robin Hood: Is that all? I shall have to annoy the good Sheriff more. Soon it will be a thousand.
Marian: For a thousand, I would turn you in myself.”––Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

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606)”Sammy: What I’m saying is all I really want is someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be all right.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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607)”April: Don’t make me staple your head.”–Definitely, Maybe (2008)

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608)”Cynthia Morales: Love is not always that easy, Anna.
Alan Weiss: Nothing worth getting ever is.”–Chasing Liberty (2004)

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609)”Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty… For tonight, we dine in hell!” –300 (2006)

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610)”Derek Zoolander: Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.”–Zoolander (2001)

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611)”Spartacus: All men lose when they die and all men die. But a slave and a free man lose different things.
Tigranes Levantus: They both lose life.
Spartacus: When a free man dies, he loses the pleasure of life. A slave loses his pain. Death is the only freedom a slave knows. That’s why he’s not afraid of it. That’s why we’ll win.”–Spartacus (1960)

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612)”Airport Guy: Hey, do you like A Flock Of Seagulls?
Robbie: [sees the guys hair is just like the lead singer of A Flock Of Seagulls] I can see YOU do.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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613)”Miles: [holds up a copy of “The Graduate” on DVD] Uh oh… “Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio… “? I bet you didn’t know, it was all written for the movie, it was a score, technically.
Dustin Hoffman: I can’t believe this… I can’t go anywhere.”–The Holiday (2006)

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614)Robbie:[Singing] You don’t know how much I need you. While you’re near me, I don’t feel blue. And when we kiss I know you need me to. I can’t believe I found a love that’s so pure and true. But it all was bulls***. It was a ******* joke. And when I think of you, Linda, I hope you f****** choke. I hope you’re glad with what you’ve done to me. I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy. You left me here, all alone, tears running constantly. Oh would somebody kill me please? Somebody kill me please. I’m on my knees, pretty pretty please. Kill me. I want to die. Put a bullet in my heeeeaaaad.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

Wedding Singer Love False Stinks

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615)”Dimitri: If we live through this, remind me to thank you.”–Anastasia (1997)

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616)”Derek Zoolander: What say we settle this on the runway… Han-Solo?
Hansel: Are you challenging me to a walk-off… Boo-Lander?”–Zoolander (2001)

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617)”Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you’re getting fat and maybe it’s been raining too long, you’re just sad that’s all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
Paul Varjak: Sure.
Holly Golightly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany’s. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that’d make me feel like Tiffany’s, then – then I’d buy some furniture and give the cat a name!”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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618)”Stoney: If you’re edged ’cause I’m weazin all your grindage, just chill. ‘Cause if I had the whole brady bunch thing happenin’ at my pad, I’d go grind over there, so dont tax my gig so hard-core cruster.”–Encino Man (1992)

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619)”Will Hayes: I kept the book…
April: Yeah?
Will Hayes: Because it was the only thing that I had left of you.”–Definitely, Maybe (2008)

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620)”Dowager Empress Marie: You’ll stop at nothing, will you?
Dimitri: I’m probably about as stubborn as you are.”–Anastasia (1997)

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621)”Det. Nunzio: [after Scott got arrested] Look, I know you’re Scott Calvin. You know you’re Scott Calvin. So let’s make this simple: I say ‘name’, you say ‘Scott Calvin’. [Gestures Scott to come close] Name?

Scott Calvin: Kris Kringle.

Det. Nunzio: Name?

Scott Calvin: Sinterklaas.

Det. Nunzio: [annoyed] Name!

Scott Calvin: Pere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelznickel. [Imitates Ed Sullivan] Topo Gigio!”–The Santa Clause (1994)

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622)”Captain of the Guards: Yep, that’s catnip…
Puss-in-Boots: Um… that’s… not mine…”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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623)”Tom Fox: He doesn’t have a passport.
Carl Hanratty: For the last six months, he’s gone to Harvard and Berkeley. I’m betting he can get a passport.”–Catch Me if You Can (2002)

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624)”Bartlett: Virgil, isn’t it?

Hilts: Hilts. Just make it Hilts.”–The Great Escape (1963) 

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625)”Duke: What’re you gonna do, drown me in your tears?
Justin: I did not cry during that game. I had something in my eye.”–She’s the Man (2006)

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626)”Holly Golightly: I’ve got to do something about the way I look. I mean a girl just can’t go to Sing Sing with a green face.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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627)”Roger Thornhill: I’m being followed. Can you do something about that?
Taxi Driver #2: Yes I can.
Roger Thornhill: Do it.”–North by Northwest (1959)

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628)”Shmi Skywalker: You can’t stop change any more than you can stop the suns from setting.”–Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

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629)”Will Hayes: Here… I wanna marry you because you’re the first person I wanna look at when I wake up in the morning, and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. Because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn’t imagine not being able to hold them. But mainly, when you love someone as much as I love you, getting married is the only thing left to do. So, will you, um, marry me?
April: Definitely. Maybe.”–Definitely, Maybe (2008)

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630)”Matt Murdock: So does every guy have to go through this just to find out your name?
Elektra: You should try asking for my number.”–Daredevil (2003)

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631)”Bianca: Has the fact that you’re completely psycho managed to escape your attention?”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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632)”Robbie: We’re living in a material world and I am a material girl… or boy.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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633)”Frank Abagnale, Jr.: Brenda, I don’t want to lie to you anymore. All right? I’m not a doctor. I never went to medical school. I’m not a lawyer, or a Harvard graduate, or a Lutheran. Brenda, I ran away from home a year and a half ago when I was 16.
Brenda Strong: Frank? Frank? You’re not a Lutheran?”–Catch Me if You Can (2002)

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634)”Emperor Nero: [During the burning of Rome] What does the mob want?
Petronius: Justice.
Emperor Nero: A mob doesn’t want justice – they want revenge!”–Quo Vadis (1951)

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635)”Marylee Hadley: I’m allergic to politeness.”–Written on the Wind (1956)

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636)”Derek Zoolander: But why male models?
J.P. Prewitt: Are you serious? I just told you that a moment ago.”–Zoolander (2001)

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637)”Luther: If you’re gonna talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk. Otherwise you’ll be lined in chalk. “–The New Guy (2002)

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638)”Richard Dadier: Yeah, I’ve been beaten up, but I’m not beaten. I’m not beaten, and I’m not quittin’.” –Blackboard Jungle (1955)

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639)”Anne Elliot: If I may, so long as the woman you love lives, and lives for you, all the privilege I claim for my own sex, and it is not a very enviable one – you need not covet it, is that of loving longest when all hope is gone.”–Persuasion (1995)

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640)”Anderson: Sir, helmets interfere with my psychic abilities.
Judge Dredd: Think a bullet in the head might interfere with them more.”–Dredd (2012)

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641)”Mr. Knightley: Men of sense, whatever you may say, do not want silly wives!”–Emma (1996)

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642)”Raphael: For what is an artist in this world but a servant, a lackey for the rich and powerful? Before we even begin to work, to feed this craving of ours, we must find a patron, a rich man of affairs, or a merchant, or a prince or… a Pope. We must bow, fawn, kiss hands to be able to do the things we must do or die. [chuckles] We are harlots always peddling beauty at the doorsteps of the mighty.
Michelangelo: If it comes to that, I won’t be an artist.
Raphael: [scoffs] You’ll always be an artist. You have no choice.”–The Agony and the Ecstasy (1965)

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643)”Alex: You’re my exception.”–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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644)”Derek Zoolander: Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They’ll be looking for us at Maury’s right? But they won’t be looking for… not us.”–Zoolander (2001)

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645)”Dean: If there is a higher power, why is it He can’t get you a new sweater?
Jamie: He’s too busy looking for your brain.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

Sarcasm

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646)”Beth: I just need you to stop being nice to me unless you’re gonna marry me.”–He’s Just Not That Into You

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647)”Policeman: How does the girl fit into the picture?

John L. Sullivan: There’s always a girl in the picture. What’s the matter, don’t you go to the movies?”–Sullivan’s Travels (1941)

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648)”Maya Hayes: What’s the boy word for ‘slut’?
Will Hayes: They still haven’t come up with one yet. But I’m sure they’re working on it.”–Definitely, Maybe (2008)

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649)”Rocky Balboa: I just also wanna thank God. Except for my kid bein’ born, this is the greatest night in the history of my life. I just wanna say one thing to my wife who’s home: YO, ADRIAN! I DID IT!”–Rocky II (1979)

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650)”Arthur Abbott: I’ve got something for you.
[picks up a corsage]
Iris: [touched] Oh.
Arthur Abbott: Forgive me. The last time I had a date, this this is what we did.
Iris: It’s beautiful.
[kisses Arthur on the cheek]
Arthur Abbott: If it’s corny, or if it’s going to ruin your outfit, you don’t have to wear it.
Iris: [Iris puts the corsage on her wrist] I like corny. [Takes Arthur’s hands] I’m looking for corny in my life.” –The Holiday (2006)

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651)”Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking “wow, you’re ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.”
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.”–Zoolander (2001)

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652)”Robin Hood: Blinkin, listen to me. They’ve taken the castle!
Blinkin: I thought it felt a bit drafty. Cor, this never would have happened if your father was alive.
Robin Hood: He’s dead?
Blinkin: Yes…
Robin Hood: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while…[Remembers] Oh, you were away!
Robin Hood: My brothers?
Blinkin: There were all killed by the plague.
Robin Hood: My dog, Pongo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood: My goldfish, Goldie?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood: [on the verge of tears] My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish. [pause] Oh, it’s good to be home, ain’t it, Master Robin?”–Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

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653)”Sir Thomas More: Why not be a teacher? You’d be a fine teacher; perhaps a great one.
Richard Rich: If I was, who would know it?
Sir Thomas More: You; your pupils; your friends; God. Not a bad public, that.”–A Man for All Seasons (1966)

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654)”Donkey: [singing] The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom…
[trails off]
Shrek: Bet my bottom?”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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655)”Roger Thornhill: Handle with care, fellas. I’m valuable property.”–North by Northwest (1959)

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656)”Arthur Abbott: Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.
Iris: You’re so right. You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god’s sake! Arthur, I’ve been going to a therapist for three years, and she’s never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.”–The Holiday (2006)

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657)”Mr. Knightley: I can think of nothing less appealing than an evening of watching other people dance. Go on! [throwing stick for dog to fetch]
Emma Woodhouse: Then you shall have to dance yourself.
Mr. Knightley: I have no taste for it. I’d rather fetch that stick.
Emma Woodhouse: I’ll try to remember to bring it to the ball.”–Emma (1996)

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658)”Agnes: I like him. He’s nice.
Edith: He’s scary.
Agnes: Like Santa.”–Despicable Me (2010)

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659)”Robbie: See? Billy Idol gets it!”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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660)”Mrs. Robinson: Elaine, it’s too late!
Elaine: Not for me!”–The Graduate (1967)

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661)”Gru: I went to kindergarten, I know how the alphabet works.”–Despicable Me (2010)

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662)”Father of the Bride: You are the worst wedding singer in the world, buddy!
Robbie: Sir, one more outburst, I will strangle you with my microphone wire. You understand me.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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663)”Donkey: Oh, Shrek. Don’t worry. Things just seem bad because it’s dark and rainy and Fiona’s father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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664)”Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me.”–The Graduate (1967)

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665)”Man at Prairie Crossing: That’s funny, that plane’s dustin’ crops where there ain’t no crops.”–North by Northwest (1959)

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666)”Margaret Tate: Was that your family?
Andrew Paxton: Yes.
Margaret Tate: Tell you to quit.
Andrew Paxton: Every single day.”–The Proposal (2009)

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667)”Robbie: Hey, psycho – we’re not gonna discuss this, OK, it’s over. Please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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668)”Molly Malloy: If you was worth breaking my nails on I’d tear your face wide open.”–His Girl Friday (1940)

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669)”Eve Kendall: [Hanging by their fingers from Mount Rushmore] What happened with your first two marriages?
Roger Thornhill: My wives divorced me.
Eve Kendall: Why?
Roger Thornhill: They said I led too dull a life.”–North by Northwest (1959)

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670)”Holly Golightly: A girl can’t read that sort of thing without her lipstick.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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671)”Gidget: Oh boy, the bigger they are the dopier they come.”–Gidget (1959)

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672)”Dudley Frank: The music moves me, but it moves me ugly.”–Wild Hogs (2007)

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673)”Linda: I don’t ever want to marry you.
Robbie: [takes a deep breath, sighs] Gee, you know that information… really would’ve been more useful to me *yesterday.*
Linda: I’ve been talking with my friends the last few days…
Robbie: Oh, boy, here it comes.
Linda: …and I think I’ve figured out what’s been bothering me. I’m not in love with Robbie, now. I’m in love with Robbie, six years ago. Robbie, the lead singer of Final Warning; I used to come watch you when you were in your silk shirt and Spandex pants, and you would sing into the microphone like you were David Lee Roth.
Robbie: I’ve still got the Spandex; I’ll put ’em on right now.
Linda: The point is, I woke up this morning and realized I’m about to get married to a wedding singer? I am never gonna leave Richfield!
Robbie: Why do you need to leave Richfield? We grew up here. All our friends are here; it’s the perfect place to raise a family.
Linda: Oh, yeah – sure! Living in your sister’s basement with five kids while you’re off every weekends doing wedding gigs at a whoppin’ sixty bucks a pop?
Robbie: Once again, things that could’ve been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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674)”Hildy Johnson: Walter, you’re wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.”–His Girl Friday (1940)

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675)”Paul Varjak: [about Holly and Jose] So you’re getting married, then?
Holly Golightly: Well, he hasn’t really asked me, not in so many words.
Paul Varjak: Four you mean?
Holly Golightly: Huh?
Paul Varjak: Well that’s how many it takes: will you marry me?”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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676)”Edith: Are these beds made from bombs?
Gru: Yes, but they are very old and are not likely to explode. But don’t toss and turn.
Edith: Cool!”–Despicable Me (2010)

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677)”Dudley Frank: [after tasting some of Maggi’s chili] Mother of God! I swallowed hot lava!”–Wild Hogs (2007)

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678)”Sammy: If you find somebody you can love, you can’t let that get away.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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679)”Walter Burns: What do you think I am, a crook?
Hildy Johnson: Yes.”–His Girl Friday (1940)

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680)”Paul Varjak: And I always heard people in New York never get to know their neighbors.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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681)”Maggie: You coming back through?
Dudley Frank: Maybe. A biker never knows. A week, a month.[pauses] Six days, ten hours, 27 minutes, give or take six minutes for wind resistance.”–Wild Hogs (2007)

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682)”[Harriet and Mr. Elton are talking as Emma tries to listen from behind a bush]
Rev. Elton: I love… I simply love…
Emma Woodhouse [to herself]: Could this be? The declaration?
Rev. Elton: Celery root.”–Emma (1996)

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683)”Shrek: The kingdom of FAR FAR Away, Donkey? That’s where we’re going! FAR! FAR!… away.”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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684)”Holly Golightly: It should take you exactly four seconds to cross from here to that door. I’ll give you two.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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685)Gidget: Honest to goodness it’s the absolute ultimate!”–Gidget (1959)

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686)”Landon: Uh, yes, sir. I’d like to ask your daughter to dinner on Saturday night.
Reverend Sullivan: That’s not possible.
Landon: Well… with all due respect, sir, I ask you to reconsider.
Reverend Sullivan: With all due respect, Mr. Carter, I made my decision. You can, uh, exit the way you entered.
Landon: Listen, I’m sorry I haven’t treated Jamie the way I should’ve. She deserves more than that. I’m just asking you for the same thing that you teach us every day in Church. And that’s faith.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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687)”Prince Charming: Princess… Fiona?
Wolf: NO!
Prince Charming: Oh, thank heavens!”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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688)”Paul Varjak: You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.” You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.”-Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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689)”Landon: Do you love me?
[she nods]
Landon: Will you do something for me, then?
Jamie: [smiles] Anything.
Landon: Will you marry me?”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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690)”Robbie: All right, remember – alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you!”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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691)”Holly Golightly: You could always tell what kind of a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you. I must say, the mind reels.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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692)”Dave: [At Home Depot] Please don’t pee in that, it’s not a real toilet.”–Couples Retreat (2009)

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693)”Mr. Knightly: [About Elton] That man is so full of himself I am surprised he can stay on that horse.”–Emma (2009)

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694)”Agnes: Why are you wearing your pajamas?
Vector: They’re not pajamas! It’s my warm-up suit.
Agnes: Why do you need warming up for?
Vector: For doing stuff.
Margo: What kind of stuff?
Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn’t understand.
Agnes: Like sleeping?”–Despicable Me (2010)

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695)”Walter Stratford: Hello, Katarina. Make anyone cry today?
Kat Stratford: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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696)”Fairy Godmother: Don’t you point those dirty, green sausages at me!”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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697)”Emma Woodhouse: Oh, but if he seems happy, I will know that he’s decided to marry Harriet, and I will not, I know I will not be able to let him tell me. But if he seems sad, I’ll know that John has advised him against it. I love John! Or he may seem sad because he fears telling me he will marry my friend. How can John let him do that? I hate John!”–Emma (1996)

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698)”Joey: When you’re living in my house, you’re a Taliban! Okay? You keep your body a secret. Except you get to, you know, go to school and read books.”–Couples Retreat (2009)

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699)”Edith: When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this’d be more like Annie.”–Despicable Me (2010)

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700)”Receptionist: Look, she’s not seeing any clients today. Okay?
Shrek: That’s okay, buddy. We’re from the union.
Receptionist: The union?
Shrek: We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign.
Receptionist: Oh, of course.
Shrek: Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?
Receptionist: A little. We don’t even have dental.
Shrek: They don’t even have dental. Okay, we’re gonna have a look around. And buddy, it would be better if the Fairy Godmother doesn’t know about this. Know what I mean? Hmm?”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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For more on the film It Happened One Night, which this title is a parody of, go to I Don’t Want the Money

For more My Favorite Movie Lines List, go to Episode VI: Return of the Movie Lines List

For more on 10 Things I Hate About You, go to You’re Just Too Good To Be True

For more on A Walk To Remember, go to Fulfilling the List

For more on Anastasia, go to I’ll Always Be There When You Need Me

For more on Catch Me If You Can and The Holiday, go to the 25 Films of Christmas

For more on Daredevil, go to Pot o’ Gold

For more on Definitely Maybe and Zoolander, go to It’s BACK

For more on Disney, go to  For She Filled Their Lives With Sunshine

For more on Emma (1996), go to I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

For more on Emma (2009), go to Obviously You’ve Never Met George Knightly

For more on He’s Just NOT That Into You, go to You’re My Exception

For more on Persuasion, go to Oh Oh De Lally

For more on Shrek 2, go to I Wouldn’t Change You, Darling!

For more on Star Wars, go to And Away We Go

For more on The Santa Clause, go to On the 11th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Wayne’s World, go to Episode III:Revenge of My Movie Lines List

For more on The Wedding Singer, go to Wanna Grow Old With You

For more on Wild Hogs, go to Sucky Sequels