Something’s Out There and It’s Killing People! And If It’s Monsters, Nobody’s Going to Do a Thing About it Except Us!: The Monster Squad (1987)

Something’s out there and it’s killing people! And if it’s monsters, nobody’s going to do a thing about it except us!

I first saw this film on a Nostalgia Critic review and thought it sounded absolutely hilarious. When I saw that it was on Amazon, I had to watch it. Then I made my mom watch it with me, then my sister, and then my friends.

If you are a fan of the classic monster films: Dracula, Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, The Mummy, and The Creature from the Black Lagoon, then you will love this! This film brings them all together in a wonderful way,

The film starts off in Europe with Van Helsing trying to seal the monsters into limbo for life, but failing. Instead the spell just makes the monsters pause their hauntings and sleep with all the villagers and Van Helsing being trapped in limbo instead.

Time goes by and we are in a small town in the USA. There we have two boys who are always getting into trouble as instead of paying attention in class they draw monsters. The two kids, (they have names but are never really used so I am going to call them Leader and Sidekick), are in charge of the monster club. The monster club also has their friend who is really young, Baby, and another friend who they call Fat Kid who’s name is actually Horace.

Then there is a new guy who wants to join the club, the Cool guy. He has a leather jacket, smokes cigarettes, has long dark hair. My friend pointed out that he actually looks a lot like Nick from Jimmy Neutron. He doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would be interested in a monster club, but he passes every test. The Leader does not want him to join, but the rest of the team do and he’s on the squad. Cool kid turns out to also be interested in spying on Sidekick’s sister, who lives next door to the clubhouse, and always changes in front of her open, blinds up window. They always do this in movies and it makes zero sense!

Meanwhile, the monsters have arrived. Dracula was having himself and Frankenstein’s monster flown over, but a pilot was too curious and when he realized what they were, he dumped the coffins. Dracula searches for his friend and while doing so wakes up the Mummy, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the Wolf Man.

The Leader’s father is a police officer and he is having issues with his wife. She wants him to be home more, but he has to work. He starts investigating the “stolen” mummy and gets called away with someone claiming they are a werwolf. The Wolf man freaks out and is killed at the police station…or is he? Only silver can kill a werewolf, so he resurrects and transforms, taking off to join his monster club.

Sorry!

The leader’s mom bought a Van Helsing book in German a yard sale for his son. She leaves it for him; along with a note that a Dr. Acula wants to buy the book. The Leader has to write it out a few times like he thinks it is an anagram and I’m like it is SO OBVIOUS! What kind of Monster Squad leader are you?

It’s super obvious!

There is a man who lives down the way that speaks German and all the kids like to say he is a spy or monster. The squad go over to have him read the book and find out what it says and he tells them it is a spell to seal monsters away forever. All you need is a virgin to read out the words. Aw, so that must have been where they went wrong in the beginning.

They try to figure out what to do next and where to find a virgin, because even though the spell didn’t say it they assume it has to be a girl, when they are all virgins (maybe not Rudy he is a little older), when the Leader’s sister comes over and wants to join the club again. The boys are all no girls allowed, but then she shows that she has Frankenstein’s monster. They all sit in the treehouse trying to decide what to do next when Frankenstein’s monster acts just as pervy as the boys, looking at sidekick’s sister and takes a picture of her.

The squad finds out that the monsters are hiding out in an old abandoned house, down the street. It turns out that Dracula is there because he is looking for the amulet he needs to have the monsters walk the Earth forever. The squad tries to go in and manage to swipe the amulet, but now the real fight will begin as they have only so much time to complete the spell and seal the monsters away forever.

So the monster experts: the Leader and Sidekick do nothing to try and find a way to stop the monsters. Their only plan of attack is to just talk a lot. The real star of this was the cool guy who makes wooden stakes, melts silver for bullets, steals an archery set from the school to shoot down the vampire brides, etc. He’s really awesome as in the grand battle he takes monsters down left and right.

Horace is also really cool as he has been bullied and hurt, but when push comes to shove he takes out the Creature. It is such a great scene as his previous bullies tell him great job fat kid, and he tells them not to call him that.

E.J.: Hey Fat Kid! Good job.

Horace: My name’s not fat kid. [cocks shotgun] It’s Horace!

After an epic battle, the kids save the day. This is a really fun and great movie that I highly recommend. You should definitely give it a watch.

For more monster filled films or tv shows, go to Munster Masquerade: The Munsters (1966)

For more Dracula, go to The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Meet Dracula, Part I: The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977)

For more on Frankenstein’s monster, go to We’ve Seen Dracula, the Wolf Man, and Frankenstein’s Monster: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

For more on the mummy, go to Welcome to a New World of Gods and Monsters: The Mummy (2017)

For more on The Wolf Man, go to Beast or Man: The Wolfman (2010)

For more on The Creature from the Black Lagoon, go to There Are Many Strange Legends in the Amazon: The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954)

For more ‘80s films, go to I Just Killed My Best Friend. And Your Worst Enemy. Same Difference.: Heathers (1988)

I Just Killed My Best Friend. And Your Worst Enemy. Same Difference.: Heathers (1988)

I just killed my best friend.

And your worst enemy.

Same difference.

This is a movie I love but I also have a hard time watching it as I am Veronica. I too was swayed by a crazy guy who tried to kill me. Luckily for both of us, we survived.

Heathers is a film that to be honest is weird to summarize. If you tried to give a synopsis to someone who has never seen it you would sound crazy. You like a film where they end up killing people and making it look like suicide? And it is a comedy? It is definitely odd, but like Mean Girls there is just something about it that pulls you in. The writing is great, the characters understandable and so relatable in its teen angst.

This film also deals with a lot of harsh issues and is not for everyone. It covers suicide, abuse, bullying, shooting, etc. if any of those things might be a trigger for you, it would be best not to watch this film.

Although, now as an adult watching this film I’m like Veronica you are a junior, why are you freaking out? You only have two years left in school and then you can go any where and do anything you want! Her family is rich and if her dad puts up with her calling him an idiot every day I’m sure he will pay for whatever she wants to do whether it is college, seeing the world, or moving to the City and trying to make it on her own doing whatever. I mean if she was poor, wasn’t the best student, or was stuck in her place, I would be more sympathetic.

The other thing I love about this film are the clothes, the ‘80s really could go over the top. I love that these girls are always wearing blazers, giant hats, ostentatious outfits, bright clothes- Veronica even wears a monocle. This juxtaposition of wealth and color with the sad dark themes of suicide works so well in ways I don’t fully understand. There’s just something about Heathers.

The film starts off with this crazy dream sequence, the three Heathers playing croquet, and Veronica (Winona Ryder) is buried up to her neck. She’s unable to move but finds herself at the will of the Heathers. She talks to them, being sarcastic and making cutting comments, but no change occurs as the Heathers ignore her words and she is still stuck in the same place.

“Heather McNamara: It’s your turn Heather.

Heather Chandler: No, Heather, it’s Heather’s turn. Heather?

Heather Duke: Sorry Heather

As I’m sure you can tell, the symbolism runs deep. The Heathers run the school with Heather Chandler (Kim Walker) as the Queen Bee, Heather McNamara (Lisanne Falk) as her yes-man, and Heather Duke (Shannon Doherty) is treated better than the rest of the school, but still the one Heather C. likes to kick around.

Veronica is in a weird place, as she’s not the doormat Heather D. is, but she’s also not as cemented in the group either. She’s still very much an individual, not a minion like the other two Heathers, but at the same time still goes along with all they do-even though she may voice a concern or complain about their activities-she still does it. Just like in her dream.

The film starts off with Veronica noticing the new boy in school, J.D. (Christian Slater). He’s got the bad boy look down pat, long hair, and wearing a trench coat. Very cool and the type of guy every girl falls for at least once in their life.

He’s a bad boy

They ask him the question of the day which is “what would you do if you won 5 million dollars but only have one day left on Earth because Aliens are going to destroy it?” He gives a pretentious answer, but Veronica eats it up.

Christian Slater has stated that his performance was heavily inspired by Jack Nicholson and I believe it as he is creepy! But he also is much better looking than Jack Nicholson and does that eyebrow thing we all love.

Oh, wow…

Veronica’s fallen for him, but gets dragged away by Heather as J.D. is not their crowd. Two football players Ram and Kurt don’t like him trying to move up into another stratosphere and run over to try and bully him. J.D. listens to their insults and pulls a gun out and shoots them.

Later, the girls are talking about the events and all the Heathers think J.D. is insane! But Veronica-poor Veronica is blinded by her crush on the bad boy defends him as “it was just a joke and blanks”.

Veronica no!!! NO NO NO! This is a big red flag, but Veronica doesn’t see it. Poor, dumb, in love, Veronica. Not only has her crush on J.D. blinded her from this scary, crazy event that has happened, but she actually likes what J.D. did. She never liked Ram and Kurt and thinks they should be taken down a leg or two. In her mind J.D. isn’t insane, but a vigilante, a Robin Hood against high social hierarchy.

This makes me so sad as this kind of thing happened all the time with women, and men. They meet someone who exhibits insane and dangerous behavior, but in their mind they make excuses, they reinvent it so it’s then staid go up against something, maybe “protecting” someone or something. But all it is, is a red flag that should be warning you to stay away-but so often it just draws people in.

Veronica is going with Heather C. to a Remington Frat Party, but on the way there they stop at the connivence store, where Veronica runs into J.D. She zooms in on him as she is fascinated by how different he is and wants to be with him. Veronica is an interesting character as she becomes “different people” depending on who she is around. With Heather she’s the popular girl with a slightly better moral code than the others-with J.D. she can rebel, be wild, and free.

J.D.: Is your life perfect?

Veronica Sawyer: I’m on my way to a party at Remington University… No, my life’s not perfect. I don’t really like my friends.

J.D.: I… I don’t really like your friends either.

Veronica Sawyer: Well, it’s just like – they’re people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit.

J.D.: Maybe it’s time to take a vacation.

Now I understand what Veronica is going through, high school can feel like a tremendous pile of crap while you are going through it, but at the same time I’m like Veronica it isn’t your job. You only have a year and a couples months left and then you can do whatever you want. Try not to take it so seriously.

I also love the outfit Veronica wears in this scene. I would love to own it.

The two separate with Veronica going off with Heather to the party. There none have a nice time as Heather C. Is pressured into things she doesn’t want to do to keep up with the college crowd and Veronica’s date only cares about sleeping with her and doesn’t like the word no. Veronica spends the rest of the night getting drunk and then throws up in the alley. Heather C. yells at Veronica, with Veronica finally standing up to her. Heather declares everything is over for Veronica.

That night Veronica gets out her monocle and really let’s her feelings fly in her journal-she especially shares all about her hatred of Heather.


Veronica Sawyer: [writing in diary] Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out for a bunch of Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads. Killing Heather would be like offing the wicked witch of the west… wait east. West!

Veronica is interrupted by her musings when J.D. climbs through her window. I’m like Veronica, here is another red flag. You didn’t ask him over, he searched out where you lived, waited for you to come home, and climbed through your window without permission. Like it would be one thing if he got her attention or had asked her address or phone number-but he never did. It doesn’t matter how many times I watch this, I’m always like Veronica no! Even though I know what will happen next.

The two play strip croquet and Veronica confides in J. D. about her hatred of Heather. Veronica was really just trying to vent, but too bad she doesn’t realize her newly acquired boyfriend is a psycho!

The next day Veronica and J. D. break into Heather C.’s house as Veronica plans on making her a fake hangover cure and getting her semi-revenge. J. D. pours draino into a cup, but Veronica ignores him as she thinks it is just a joke-Veronica this is like the fourth red flag!

Veronica makes an orange juice and milk mixture and the two hawk some loogies into it. Afterwards, J.D. tricks Veronica into taking the draino one by kissing her. Everyone says it is an accident, but I think it was done on purpose. It is such a weird time to kiss her so to me it seems like a distraction, but then again he is a freak. He does almost warn her, but changes his mind so it could have be an accident turned into an opportunity. Either way they go into Heather’s room and basically double dog dare her to drink it, she does, and dies.

Veronica is freaked out and doesn’t know what to do, and says these iconic lines (one of my favorite parts)

Veronica Sawyer: I just killed my best friend.

J.D.: And your worst enemy.

Veronica Sawyer: Same difference.

Now Veronica is unsure what to do and wants to call the police, but J. D. convinces her to hide it by writing a suicide note. She’s so upset that she goes along with him. Again, another red flag Veronica.

The suicide note is an sensation. School shuts down for the cheerleader, they have a funeral service, and everyone talks about how lovely the note was, how Heather had such a poetic soul.

Veronica is amazed at how this whole thing has turned Heather into more of a “goddess” at school as all are worshiping her. At first she laughs about it, but then the worshipfulness starts getting to her. Later, she meets J. D.’s father and he and his father’s relationship is weird. Even more so when he shares how his mother died, she stayed in a building that his father was going to demo, committing suicide. The way his dad is I’m not so sure it was suicide, I’m thinking it might have been murder! Or it might have been the only way she could be free of him.

What is even more upsetting with Heather gone, Veronica hoped life would be better but Heather C. is still everywhere and Heather D. has stepped up to take her place. That always happens, Queen Bs are like Hydras, cut off the head and there will always be one to take their place.

After the funeral, Heather M. asks Veronica to help her out as she needs someone to go on a double date with her as she is going out with football player, Ram. Veronica insists that she is dating J. D. and she doesn’t want to go out as the guys will just want to tip cows. Heather continues to beg and Veronica agrees only to have a horrible night as the boys get drunk, tip cows, and when Kurt tries to make a move Heather goes off with J. D. (who just happened to show up another red flag). Kurt collapses drunk in a field and in the background you can see Ram date rape Heather. I forgot how disturbing this film can be.

The next day Kurt and Ram spread a story about Veronica that she was with both of them and this makes Veronica and J. D. furious. J. D. wants to get revenge and decides to use some German guns that use “blanks”. He asks if she she knows German, she says no, and then he gives the guns a German name, words which mean he is lying. Veronica is so mad at the guys for spreading lies she goes along with his plan to “kill” them, thinking she is using blanks. I’m like Veronica no! Another red flag, but J. D. is kryptonite to her common sense as he can tell she wants to be a cool, rebellious, person of action-and totally plays into it. Plus he is hot. Unfortunately, attractiveness can really blind you to faults.

The next morning Veronica is happy and giddy to play their prank. She watches as J.D. pulls out all the evidence to make it looks as if they were gay lovers who decided to commit suicide. Again, it is so easy to be like Veronica how can you not see what is happening-but J. D. has really manipulated her. They go to commit their act, Veronica having the guys strip, before they “rip her clothes off”, and when they are in their underwear, they shoot. Ram dies with a bullet in the head, while Veronica misses Kurt. J. D. yells at her and shepherds Kurt back to their suicide circle and Veronica shoots him. They finish setting up their little scene and take off as they hear police, jumping in the car and pretending that they were out there making out.

They go to school and this is one of my favorite parts when Veronica has seen what is happening and realizes she doesn’t want this life. She didn’t really want anyone dead she was just being dramatic and upset, but she’s no killer. The two argue with her going did not (meaning she did not want them to die) and J. D. saying did too. The remaining Heathers see her and think they are just having an argument about their relationship.

She should not have gotten involved with him.

Everyone in school finds out about the football players and their note. All are shocked and the two become martyrs for the lgbtq+ cause. Again Veronica is amazed at how such horrible people could have their whole personality changed by death and an eloquent suicide note.

Heather M. is having a really hard time-she’s a follower and her leader killed herself. She poured her sorrows into this new relationship with Ram, who raped her, and then it turns out he’s gay? And he killed himself?! She’s really lost and confused and traumatized-poor girl.

Meanwhile, J. D. has some plans and blackmails Heather D. with fat camp pics of her and Martha “Dumptruck” Dunnstock to get people to sign a petition for Big Fun to come and play at the school their hit song “Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It!)”. Heather goes along with it, lying about everything in order to get people to sign it. But what is he planning?

Veronica decides it is time to cut all the toxic people out of her life. She dumps J. D., fights with Heather D. over her wanting to wear Heather C.’s scrunchies and take over Heather’s spot, and tries to rekindle her old best friendship with Betty Finn, a real true friend she traded for the Heathers. The two go to play croquet, but the happy afternoon is ruined by Heather D.

Heather D. shares that Martha tried to kill herself only to fail when she didn’t get hit running into traffic. Heather D. makes fun of Martha trying to be cool and failing again. Heather D. and Veronica fight, with Veronica slapping Heather for her cruel words.

Veronica and Heather make up and again we see Veronica has a way out of this, but she doesn’t take it. Instead she goes along with Heather D. as they listen to a radio program Hot Probs, and listen as Heather M. calls in and complains about her perfect life. Poor Heather, she is just trying to figure out what is going on. The next day all the kids in school are making fun of her, and she starts thinking about committing suicide. Veronica notices her leaving class and goes out saving her.

“Veronica Sawyer: If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn’t be a human being. You’d be a game show host.”

Veronica starts to unravel at the chaos she has created. Heather D. rules the school, J. D. tells her parents that she is planning on killing herself (laying the foundation to kill her and hide it as suicide), she finds a hanging doll in her room (courtesy of J. D. and she is full of strange nightmares that highlight the guilt she feels over the killings. Like Veronica should try and seek out help about J.D. or get a restraining order. He won’t give up until she is dead.

After she has a nightmare about J. D., she decides it is time to take control of her life. She pretends to kill herself, hanging so that when J. D. visits that night he reveals his whole plan to blow up the school. The next day Veronica finds him and takes him out, this is such an awesome scene. A fantastic scene!

Veronica Sawyer: You know what I want? [shoots J.D] Cool guys like you out of my life.

After the bomb goes off and kills J. D. we have a smoking Veronica who comes in for the 1-2 punch; first she takes out Heather being the new Queen B, and then she invites Martha to be her friend.

Veronica Sawyer: Hey, Martha. My date for the prom kinda flaked out on me. I was wondering, If you weren’t doing anything that night, maybe we could rent some new releases and pop some popcorn.

Martha ‘Dumptruck’ Dunnstock: I’d like that.

Veronica Sawyer: Yeah. Me too

Such a great ending to this film. It’s weird as it has seriously dark moments, comedic moments, is very sad, but also extremely enjoyable. It’s just one of those films.

We threw a Heathers themed croquet party where we served spaghetti with lots of oregano (Veronica’s favorite). Two dressed as Heather Chandler (red Heather), one as Heather Duke (green Heather), one person came as J.D., and I was Veronica, because I am Veronica.

Looks pretty close, right?

Also our Facebook cover

So with today’s topic, as J. D. is a horrible person and October being national domestic violence awareness month, I felt compelled to share this.

I Am a Survivor of Domestic Violence and I Know Help is Out There:

Are you being abused?

It’s abuse when someone who should care about you does or says things that hurt you or make you feel afraid, helpless or worthless. Here are only a few examples:

  • Slapping, hitting, punching, choking, grabbing, shoving, kicking you or your kids, your pets
  • Threatening you, your kids, friends, family or pets
  • Hitting, kicking, slamming walls, doors, furniture, possessions
  • Forcing you to have sex
  • Calling you names, swearing at you, yelling
  • Controlling all the money, even money you earn
  • Blaming you or your kids for everything
  • Putting you down, making you feel like nothing you do is ever good enough
  • Treating you like a servant or slave
  • Controlling where you go, what you do, what you wear
  • Controlling who you see, who you talk to
  • Humiliating you in front of other people
  • Refusing to let you leave the relationship

It can also look like the below cycle

If you are in danger call 911, a local hotline, or the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 and TTY 1-800-787-3224.

For more Winona Ryder films, go to Once, There Was Even a Man Who Had Scissors for Hands: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

For more horror comedies, go to Dirty Deals, Murder, Mob Goons, and a Kidnapping: Men at Work (1990)

For more ‘80s films, go to Father Knows Best: The Stepfather (1987)

Father Knows Best: The Stepfather (1987)

Last year when I reviewed The Stepfather 2009, I also planned on watching and reviewing this version as well. But it was late at night, the wind was blowing my cat wreath on my door making it sound as if someone was knocking, and the wind caused the tree branch by my bedroom window to slap the pane. As I started the film, Terry O’Quinn staring into the mirror after murdering his family scared me so that I had to put something fun on.

Later when I went to rewatch the film, it was no longer on Amazon prime for free. So I decided to wait.

This past May I had my niece for the weekend and usually we watch Kdramas, Cdramas, anime, or romantic comedies. But she also loves horror and was in the mood to watch something. As we flicked through what Amazon had to offer this film came up, and even though it was an “old film” (her words) she decided to give it a try. I told her is scared me the first time I tried watching it and after we both agreed it was way better than the remake. Terry O’Quinn just does such a great job at being creepy.

So this film is party based on John List, who murdered his family and assumed another identity, and partly on some of the issues the screenwriter, Donald E. Westlake was facing as a new stepfather to a teenage girl. However, while both things influenced the film, it isn’t really based on a specific incident.

The film begins with Terry O’Quinn having murdered his family and changing how he looks-shaving his beard, changing from glasses to contacts, etc. This scene is especially creepy as he stares into the mirror and into you, your eyes!

Creepy…

He packs up his things and heads out, passing by the butchered remains of his family. This is probably the most graphic scene of the film and really shows the character of the “Stepfather” as he calmly takes care of everything, not bothered or touched at all by the massacre he created. He leaves, takes the ferry, dumps a suitcase of incriminating evidence into the lake, heads to a new town, and creates a new identity.

A year has passed and the “Stepfather” is going by Jerry Blake, is a real estate agent for American Eagle Real Estate, and has married widow Susan Maine (Shelley Hack); becoming stepfather to Jill Maine (Jill Schoelen). Susan of course loves him and prepares a gourmet dinner every night with dessert. Jill on the other hand hates him, and has started acting out in school. She confides to her therapist that she hates being around Jerry (although has no specific concerns or issues that are harming her safety) and is trying to get expelled and sent to a boarding school away from him. He therapist encourages her to try and give Jerry another chance. Jill reluctantly agrees to.

Ugh…this guy

Meanwhile in Seattle, Jerry’s previous wife’s brother, James Ogilvie is obsessed with the case and trying to find “Henry” (what Jerry went by previously). He is living in his car and harasses the newspaper reporter who wrote about the crime and the police officers. Both tell him to move on, but the reporter does agree to write a new article and include a picture, to see if someone has seen “Henry”.

To be honest, Jim looks insane and his drifter lifestyle didn’t help him any. If I encountered him, I would have brushed him off as he sounds like a fanatic.

Back in Jerry’s world he is hosting a BBQ for his friends, clients, and neighbors. He gives a big speech about community and family-very sweet and heartwarming, but something Jill finds disgusting. At the BBQ one of the adults has a newspaper and they start discussing the article about the killing by “Henry”. The article has no picture, but even though there is no direct way to connect it to him, Jerry gets freaked out. He changed the subject to lighter things and turns the paper into a newspaper hat for one of the kids.

Afterwards he goes to the basement, his work area, and has a full on devolved freak out. He starts manically rambling, about his childhood. Originally, the story included scenes of Jerry’s past and how he was abused as a child, but I actually prefer the story with those scenes cut. I think that Quinn is expressive enough in the way he acts and behaves that you can tell he grew up in an unhappy home and is striving for his “perfect TV family”. In a lot of ways he reminds me of Jim Carrey’s character in The Cable Guy, although more murder-y.

Stephanie sees him there as she was sent to get ice cream from the freezer, and she gets really unnerved at seeing him like that. He tells her that he gets tired of always being perfect and the salesman, so he needed to unwind.

Yeah that was some weird angry venting going on. Stephanie leaves to the party but searches for the newspaper that seemed to upset him. She sees it is an article about the killer and writes to the newspaper to get information, convinced that Jerry is the killer. She shares her findings with her friend, but she isn’t convinced.

Meanwhile, Jim accosts the newspaper reporter for not including a picture, but he shares that his editor nixed it. Jim decides to continue his drifting and searching, getting closer to where Jerry is hiding out.

Stephanie waits for the mail to come, but one day Jerry comes homie earlier and steals it. He then goes to a photography studio and buys a print which he switches out and then places the envelope back in the mail. When Stephanie gets it, she is disappointed that it turns out to not be Jerry, although you think she would be happy that her stepfather isn’t a serial killer, but whatever.

Meanwhile, Dr. Bondurant, Jill’s therapist has wanted to meet with Jerry for a while. As Jerry knows the risk of speaking to the therapist, and having him figure him out, he has been avoiding him. Dr. Bondurant refuses to take no for an answer and sets up an appointment to buy a house under an assumed name.

Jerry starts off really charming and nice, but quickly figures out that Dr. Bondurant has no interest in getting a house, but is there to emotionally probe him.

Jerry Blake: I wanna ask you something. Are you interested in buying a house… Or are you interested in me?

Jerry can’t have that and the doctor is gone. After he has murdered him, Jerry searches his coat, expecting him to be a reporter or cop and is surprised to see he is the therapist. He quickly cleans up and dumps the body in the car, placing a rock on the gas pedal so it will crash and everyone will think it was a car accident.

Jerry tells Stephanie of the death (after he is told by the receptionist) and the two bond. They work on a bird house together and everything is good in the home…until Stephanie starts dating her friend and Jerry catches her kissing the boy. He yells and wants to call the police on him, but Sue convinces him not to. Stephanie is embarrassed and furious!

Jerry perfect family ideal is destroyed and he starts preparing himself for a new life. He quits his job, finds one in a new town, a place to rent, and a widow. Once he has everything prepared he decides it is time to end the ladies’ life.

Jim has finally tracked Jerry down and found his home. He speaks to Sue who won’t give out much information, causing Jim to leave and plan on coming back later. Sue then calls Jerry at work, only to discover he quit.

That night when Jerry comes home is an incredibly creepy scene. He keeps getting his multiple identities confused and he starts mixing them up. Kind of like that Criminal Minds episode when they have a similar situation in Miami.

Jerry tries to soothe the upset Sue, by promising her it was a receptionist’s mistake. But he tells her the wrong name! He then completely devolves, and Sue is confused and shocked.

Jerry Blake: Wait a minute, who am I here?

Sue: Jerry?

Jerry Blake: That’s right. Jerry Blake. Thanks honey.

But even though it looks like everything is calmed down, Jerry decides the time to strike is now and kill Sue, smacking her in the head with the phone and knocking her down the stairs. He then prepares to go after the dog, but changes tactics when Stephanie returns home.

However, the Blake/Maine family never locks their door, which seems weird for a killer who is always worried about people being after them-and Jim just walks right in.

Jerry is about to attack Stephanie, but Jim tries to come at him and Jerry slashes him instead. Stephanie, frightened, runs and tries to find a way out. As Jerry blocks the only exit out, she runs upstairs into the attic, where she is followed by Jerry.

Stephanie tries to find something to defend herself with but there is nothing. Jerry advances, but falls through a rotted section of the floor. Stephanie tries to escape, but Jerry recovers and comes after her again. All looks lost until Sue, who has managed to crawl up the stairs after being smacked in the head and thought dead, grabs the gun and shoots Jerry twice-Stephanie finishing up the job by stabbing him in the chest.

At the end, Stephanie is with her mom, hacking down the birdhouse Jerry made and destroying it. I’m sure Sue will never date again after that experience.

From Gilmore Girls

A very creepy film that is much better than the remake. And you know what I always say about that-the original is always better.

No Facebook cover for this one either.

For more on The Stepfather, go to How Much Do You Really Know About Him?: The Stepfather (2009)

For more serial killers, go to People Don’t Realize That There are Killers Among Them. People They Liked, Loved, Lived With, Worked With and Admired…: Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (2019)

For more ‘80s films, go to Goofy Ghosts and a Treasure Hunt: Scooby-Doo Meets the Boo Brothers (1987)

Goofy Ghosts and a Treasure Hunt: Scooby-Doo Meets the Boo Brothers (1987)

Goofy Ghosts and a Treasure Hunt

So every year I review an animated film, and here we are with Scooby-Doo and the Boo Brothers.

This was the first of three Shaggy, Scooby, and Scrappy stand alone films. It followed The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo which featured a smaller number of the Scooby crew with Daphne, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, and Scrappy-Doo.

This however, is my least favorite of all the Scooby-Doo films. It was followed by Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School and Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf (both of which I think are far superior). Really the reason I don’t like this is because of the second half of the title, the Boo Brothers. The Boo Brothers are fashioned after The Three Stooges, and while I liked them (espechially as a kid), I don’t like the Boo Brothers.

So annoying

I also remember there being this weird girl that bothers Shaggy.

So annoying

I do remember there being a pretty good treasure hunt that involved all these riddles to find where the treasure was hidden. I really enjoyed that part and I wish they had included more of it-or just featured it and cut out the Boo Brothers.

Shaggy’s uncle, Colonel Beauregard has passed away and left his house and all his belongings to Shaggy. Shaggy, Scooby, and Scrappy head down to the South.

They run into Sheriff Rufus Buzby who warns them of a curse on the property, and leaves when he gets a call about a derailed circus train and an ape that got out. Of course Scooby and Shaggy are scared but Scrappy urges them on.

When they do get to the property they are attacked by a headless horseman, ghost wolf, and ghost colonel.

Ghosts are bad, but the one that’s cursed,
Is the Headless Horseman; he’s the worst!

They also meet the creepy manservant Farquard who lets them know that there is a fortune buried on the estate.

This sounds so familiar…

Hmmm…

A distant relative leaving someone their spooky house, a creepy housekeeper/butler, buried treasure somewhere on the large estate, an escaped “creature” chasing them on the property…

This is The Cat and the Canary!

This is basically the same film except they threw in the three stooges ghostbrothers.

Shaggy wants to leave but can’t as his truck is stuck in mud, so they have to spend the night there. To get rid of the ghosts they call some ghostbusters, (not the Ghostbusters). Why didn’t he just call a tow truck?

Seriously

Surprise, surprise they are the most annoying things ever. This movie isn’t that bad, it’s just the Boo Brothers are really annoying and dumb. The film would be better without them.

Basically they stink at their job and just do a lot of dumb things that are supposed to be funny.

Ugh…

Sadie Mae Scroggins comes calling and falls for Shaggy, and her brother threatens him as the Scroggins and Beauregards (Shaggy’s uncle) have a terrible feud.

The guys are starving, as always, and do what they always love to do, eat. They make a sandwich and bite into a clue.

Dear Shaggy, knowing your appetite I thought this would be the best place to hide this message and this jewel. It’s only one of many in my fortune, which I hid to keep them away from my enemies. To find the next clue to their hiding place, go outside. Then look for the part of the house with its knee out.

This leads them to the Chimney where they find a diamond. This is the interesting part of the film.

You’re nearer the family jewels than before. A broken key unlocks the next door. – Piano

Look for a relative who is quite old, whose face cannot look, and whose hands cannot hold. – Grandfather Clock

There is no pendulum in this clock. So, what does it lack besides a tock? – Attic

For the next clue, don’t look any higher. Think what you are when you’re not the buyer. – Cellar

The next clue you seek is large and flat. It’s the kind of stone you use as a hat. – Colonel Beauregard’s headstone in cemetery

You’re nearing the end of this obstacle course, so if you go buggy, you won’t need a horse. – Barn

To get to the bottom of things is the trick. Think how you’re feeling when you are not sick. – Well

At the end of this tunnel, are many more pearls but on the way, many more perils. – Basement

There’s no mystery about this clue. Inside Bear Cave, the jewels are in plain view.- Bear Cave

Go to a place that covers the tide. To find the last clue, just “pier” inside. – Boathouse

As they continue the Boo Brothers have crazy antics that don’t help at all, the gorilla keeps coming, the Scroggins are driving Shaggy crazy, and multiple ghosts are attacking them,

They go to the last place and find the final clue.

No more riddles, here ends the chase. The treasure’s in the fireplace. – Fireplace

They go for the treasure but the Ghost holds them at gunpoint, the real ghosts finally come in handy-all are saved and unmask the ghost to be the Sheriff-who is unmasked as the Sherif’s twin brother who wanted the money.

Shaggy decides to give the mansion to the Boo Brothers, give the money to orphans, and takes off. His next plan is to be a gym teacher at a girl’s school, but you know Shaggy-he doesn’t always pay attention.

So yeah, it was okay. I liked half of it, but the Boo Brothers killed it for me.

For more Scooby-Doo, go to  To All the Ghouls I’ve Loved Before: The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo (1985)

For more ’80s films, go to Holy Smokes! Your Mom’s a Werewolf!: My Mom’s a Werewolf (1989)

For more animated films, go to In the Spa House of the Spirits: Spirited Away (2001)

For more hidden treasure, go to Trapped in a Mansion in the Middle of Nowhere with a Psycho: The Cat and the Canary (1939)

For more ghosts, go to A Psychic Arrives and a Ghost Haunts the Ship: High Seas Season Two (2019)

Holy Smokes! Your Mom’s a Werewolf!: My Mom’s a Werewolf (1989)

Holy smokes! Your mom’s a werewolf.

Really?

This was the weirdest movie I have ever seen.

It looked like a fun ’80s horror film, but it was not.

So Leslie Shaber is your average housewife-who is extremely bored. Her daughter, Jennifer, is a mean sarcastic teenager who doesn’t want to spend any time with her, her husband works late and then is glued to the TV, the only excitement she gets is making up new and strange (gross looking) dishes that she eats alone.

Her daughter takes off to go to some Horror convention with her best friend Stacey who loves it-and is totally me and my love of classic horror. It also makes me think of someone else…

While Stacey is off on a booth, Jennifer goes to the gypsy and gets a prophecy from the gypsy fortune teller. She tells Jennifer that she has the mark of the pentagram, and will be attacked by a werewolf.

There have been strange attacks going on with a man hunting people.

Hmm…I feel like this information will come in handy later. From Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Meanwhile, Leslie has become angry and her husband and kids and decides to go off to shop away her bad feelings. She stops at the pt store and meets a strange red-eyed man Harry Thropen. Oh no, this dude is trouble. Stay away from him.

From The Twilight Zone

Leslie leaves and a thief tries to steal her bag, but Thropen comes to rescue and saves her belongings. He invites her to come to lunch, brainwashing her with his powers to come with him.

That’s not good.

They go out to lunch, where Jennifer comes upon them as she had a change of heart and wants to fix things between her mom and dad. She planned on bringing her flowers to try and pretend it is from her dad, but when she spots her mom eating with another man-she’s drops them and follows her.

Thropen convinces Leslie to go off with him, again using his powers, and they start getting down, showing way more than I would have expected with a PG rating. He is kissing her legs, when he bites her toe. That makes Leslie mad as it hurts and she snaps out of it and heads home,  Jennifer having witnessed the whole thing.

Leslie goes home and daughter is extra angsty and angry. Leslie is upset about her cheating and makes her husband the perfect meal and later-because if you haven’t guessed yet, she was bitten by werewolf-and is beginning to transform-is in the mood to be with her husband- her and her husband being extremely loud that night with their daughter in the house.

After that Thropen wants her and Leslie starts turning into the werewolf. First her teeth start growing fanglike and she goes to see a dentist who gets his jollies filing her teeth down. He’s like the freak dentist in Little Shop of Horrors

Now this is where the movie gets weirder. Leslie looks like this:

But  Jennifer is the only one who sees her and finds it weird. Like Leslie goes to the beauty shop like that and no one freaks out about how she looks.

That night Jennifer is holding a Halloween party and Leslie spends forever in Jennifer’s bathroom trying to get rid of her werewolf hair and such. I don’t know she doesn’t use her own (as it is off-limits to the party guests) It makes a huge line as all the guests wait outside to use the bathroom. It doesn’t do much as she can’t stop the hair from growing.

I’m a mess

So this film is really boring. I checked out of it. She keeps turning, she fights with the family, and she has a huge fight with Thorpen. Do be honest I didn’t care about the characters they all are rude, angry, don’t listen to each other, etc.

Ugh…

And a news crew shows up and films them, everyone knows at the end that werewolves are real?

In the end Jennifer transforms into a werewolf because she slayed the werewolf? What lore is that?

For more ’80s films, go to They Choose the Wrong Person to Be a Hero: Dark Crystal (1982)

For more on werewolves, go to Women are Like Werewolves

For more gypsies, go to Gypsy Justice: Thinner (1996)