Baby Jane Austen

So I’m sure some of you might be thinking that I will be writing about Jane Austen’s life as a baby.

Hoe cute she probably was

She was probably a cute baby.

Well no, I’m not. Instead I am talking about Jane Austen novels for babies!

OMG gasp

I know, how cool is that? There is a company called BabyLit that takes classic novels and turns them into baby primer board books; that is learning books for babies.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

Now they can also read classic novels!

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So far they have Dracula on counting: Alice in Wonderland on colors; A Christmas Carol on colors; Wuthering Heights on the weather; Moby Dick on the ocean, Jane Eyre on counting; Romeo & Juliet on counting; The Jungle Book on animals; Sherlock Holmes and the Hounds of Baskerville on sounds; Anna Karenina on fashion; Jabberwocky on nonsense; Frankenstein on anatomy; The Wonderful Wizard of Oz on colorsand Huckleberry Finn on camping.

keanu Whoa

And of course they have covered Jane Austen with Emma, Pride & Prejudice, and Sense & Sensibility.

Double double yay

And of course me being a major fan, I just had to buy them and check them out.

LifeasaFangirl

But as I have no children and didn’t have any extra book space to hold onto them for if that ever happened (my books are already in every spare spot I have) I bought them for my friend’s baby. So far I have only purchased two (Emma and Pride & Prejudice), one for Christmas and the other for her first birthday. When I buy Sense & Sensibility for this Christmas I’ll review it.

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Emma

Emma: A BabyLit Emotions Primer by Jennifer Adams

So we know the story of Emma right? The bare bones of it is a bored girl tries her hand at matchmaking:

Emma-Woodhouse-mr.elton

But in the ends her schemes don’t go anything like she planned.

clueless mybad oops

However, that is too advanced for a baby; so this one is all about emotions with cute illustrations. Emma is excited! Mrs. Bates is scared! Mr. Knightley is Loved.

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You got that right!

EmmaMrKnightlyP&PMrDarcy

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Pride & Prejudice

Pride & Prejudice: A BabyLit Counting Primer by Jennifer Adams

So Pride & Prejudice, the most famous of the Jane Austen novels. In it a mother is trying to marry off her offspring, but her meddling can cause some issues.

Pride&PrejudiceTruthUniversallyAcknowledged

Plus some manipulations, misunderstanding, and perseverance see that four couples find their happy match (once again bare bones).

Pride&PrejudiceDarcy

So once again too much for a baby, so this one is all about counting: nine fashionable dresses, five sisters, two gentlemen, etc.

darcybingleypride&prejudice

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sense&sensibility

Sense & Sensibility: A BabyLit Opposites Primer by Jennifer Adams

So this is the story of two sisters who go from being wealthy, to having nothing.

Elinor Dashwood: Marianne, you must change. You will catch a cold. Marianne: What care I for colds when there is such a man. Elinor Dashwood: You will care very much when your nose swells up.

They get caught up in others manipulations, in their own striving for happiness, and discovering that being all sense or all sensibility isn’t the right way to be; their should be a balance of both. Plus sisters will always be there for the other.

Frozen Sacrifice self love you sisters

There are also manipulations, secret affairs, meddling matchmakers and more. But of course, that isn’t something babies can grasp so instead we have opposites: big, small, happy, sad, etc.

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So What Did I Think Of It?

So while it doesn’t tell the whole story of these novels (which I didn’t expect it to) I thought these were a wonderful idea and I want to purchase them all.

ShutUpTake MY Money

In a world where less and less people are reading, especially the classics: it is important to bring these memorable works back into the mainstream. I mean there is a reason why they were chosen as classics and they need to be read by everyone.

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And while this book focus on it’s theme (colors, counting, feelings) more than the plot of the novel; two very imoprtant things come out of here.

First, the child is being given a classic novel and grows up hearing that name and the characters; making them much more open to reading the real book when they are old enough.

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And second, you reading to your child teaches them the importance of family time and the importance of reading. Thus making them book fans too.

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So I highly recommend buying these and adding them to your child’s bookshelf. After all:

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Save Our Youth! Read Classics Today!

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For more on Emma, go to When You Shockingly Relate to Mr. Woodhouse

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Death Comes to Pemberley

For more on Sense & Sensibility, go to I Don’t Want You Far From Me: Sense and Sensibility (1995)

For more Emma variations, go to The Austen Series: Amanda

For more Pride & Prejudice variations, go to The Confession of Fitzwilliam Darcy

For more Sense & Sensibility variations, go to The Dashwood Sisters Tell All: A Modern Day Novel of Jane Austen

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to Captain Wentworth’s Diary 

Can’t Go Back

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This is one of my favorite quotes, as I feel it just truly captures how one has to move on and can’t go back to the past.

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For more Lewis Carroll, go to Disney Lesson

For more posts on my favorite quotes go to A Cautionary Tale

Disney Lesson

Frozen

I am so tired of hearing over and over again that Frozen is the first Disney movie to teach girls that you don’t need a man to save you. It is not. Now I’m not denouncing Frozen but there are plenty of films that came before that taught the very same lesson.

blue-swirl-banner-background-8268422Alice in Wonderland

1) Alice in Wonderland (1951)

Alice in Wonderland is the film based on the books Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. Alice has to undergo many challenges: shrinking, growing, getting stuck in a house, crazy men, and an even crazier Red Queen. The Red Queen tries to kill Alice and who saves her? Does a man save her? NO! Alice saves herself. SHE SAVES HERSELF!!!! Alice is truly hardcore.

alice in wonderland hardcore

For more on Alice in Wonderland, go to Disnified Horror

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Pocahontas

2) Pocahontas (1995)

So Pocahontas is a story based on not the exact life of Pocahontas. Now Pocahontas is a revolutionary figure, trying to learn more about people who come from other walks of life, along with trying to bring together those of different backgrounds. Does a man save her? NO! Pocahontas saves her people, John Smith and her home. Strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man. In fact her man is the damsel in distress. And she shows women they don’t need a man long before Frozen as she ends up with no one. She rejects Kocoum first, as that isn’t the life she wants, but doesn’t end up with John Smith either.

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For more on Pocahontas, go to According to Disney

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3) Mulan (1998)

Mulan tells the story of a young girl who pretends to be a boy so that she can save her father from joining the army and try and achieve greatness. She clearly doesn’t need a man to save her as she saves EVERYONE! THE Chinese Army, Shang (her bf), the Emperor, and ALL OF FREAKING CHINA!!!!!!!!! SHE SAVES FREAKING CHINA!!!!! CHINA! Did they do that in Frozen? NO. They saved Norway (which should have been Denmark as that is where the story originated. I mean Hans Christian Anderson is are most famous Dane, the one my people can be proud of and what does Disney do? Freakin’ betrays us by placing it in Norway). China is way, way bigger and more populated than Norway.

Mulan

For more on Mulan, go to A Horse’s Tale: Chinese New Year

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4) Inspector Gadget (1999)

Now this is a horrible film based on the adorable cartoon, about a man so full of gadgets trying to save the world. Now let’s all be honest here, the film and tv show is named after Gadget but the true hero is Penny. We all know that he would have been dead if Penny hadn’t saved the day. She always, always, always has to save him. 

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5) Mototcrossed (2001)

A Disney Original Movie (DCOM), this modern telling of Twelfth NightWhen Andrew is injured and can’t compete in the motorcross competition and the family is in trouble, Andrea cuts her hair and pretends to be  Andrew to save the day. What was that I said? Who saves the day? Andrew? NO! Andrea.  She saves her family’ s business, her brother, and becomes the first female motorcross star. No guy saves her. She does it all on her own

Andrea pre-haircut and post-haircut.

Andrea pre-haircut and post-haircut.

blue-swirl-banner-background-8268422theLizziemcguiremovie6) The Lizzie McGuire Movie (2003)

In The Lizzie McGuire Movie, Lizzie and her friends travel to Italy in a school trip and she is mistaken for an Italian superstar. She pretends to be her, having a huge adventure. Now just like Frozen  Lizzie has a love that is not true. She falls for Paolo, but he’s really a jerk (That makes this the first Disney film to prove that first loves are not true. And who saves Lizzie from this jerk? A man? NO! ITALIAN LIZZIE. It’s pretty horrible accent, but yeah she saves the day.

Lizzie and Isabella

For more on Lizzie McGuire go to, Night of the Day of the Dead

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Kim Possible

7) Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time (2003)

In this Disney Original Movie (DCOM), Kim Possible is saving the day again, but this time traveling through time. Now how can people forget this? Really now?  Kim saves EVERYONE. 24/7 no one ever saves her. One of the toughest Disney girls.

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Howl's Moving Castle

8) Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)

In Howl’s Moving Castle, a young girl named Sophie gets transformed into an old woman and caught up in a huge adventure with the wizard, Howl. In the film Sophie saves Howl. Without Sophie’s help he’d be dead and still a coward. Sophie is awesome and saves the day.

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9) Avalon High (2010)

Avalon High, A Disney Original Movie (DCOM), is about a high school contains reincarnations of characters from the Arthurian legend. Even though this film totally sucked and wasn’t remotely like the book, the main character, Allie,  saves everyone because she is the descendent of Arthur.

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10) Brave (2012)

In Brave, Mérida saves the kingdom and her mom. Without her the whole mess wouldn’t have started, but then again it wouldn’t have been resolved.

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So you see, Disney has been trying to instill that lesson for a far longer time. It’s just that most of can’t see it because we aren’t looking for it, instead we are looking for ways to hate on Disney.

For more on Disney Films go to, Snow White of a Day

For more on Disney Orginal Movies go to, When Horror Doesn’t Stay on the Screen

For more on Disney Princesses go to, I’m Not Gonna Lose Her Again!

For more on Frozen go to, Frozen Solid

Disnified Horror

So artist José Rodolfo Loaiza Ontiveros’  came up with this idea to combine Disney characters with images we have of celebrities, calling it DisHollywood.

It deals with a lot of different cultural issues,  homosexuality, drugs, physical abuse, etc; but the pictures I was really into were the horror and disney mash-ups.

 

1) A Clockwork Apple 

A Clock Work Apple

(Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs meets A Clockwork Orange)

“Alex: It’s milk that make the menfolks’ mouths water. [Presenting the milk-plus to Snow White] Milk-plus like this.

Snow White: Oh, it does look delicious.

Alex: Yes, but wait till you taste it, dearie. Like to try it, hm? Go on. Go on, have a sip…And because you’ve been so good to poor old Alex, I’ll share a secret with you. This is no ordinary milk, it’s magic *wishing* milk.

Snow White: Wishing milk?

Alex: Yes! One sip, and all your dreams will come true.

Snow White: Really?

Alex: Yes, girlie. Now, make a wish, and take a sip.”

2)The Silence of the Dwarfs

Silence of the Dwarfs

(Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs meets The Silence of the Lambs)

“Snow White: A dwarf once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some soup, bread, and a apple martini.”

3)Pan on Halloween Night

Pan on Halloween Night

Peter Pan meets Halloween

“[referring to dead Tinkerbell]

Wendy: A man wouldn’t do that.

Peter Pan: This isn’t a man.”

4)Edward Scissorhands in Wonderland

Edward Scissorhands in Wonderland

Edward Scissorhands meets Alice in Wonderland

“Alice: [to Edward] Oh! Eddie, is there anything you can’t do? You take my very breath away, I swear. Look at this! Have you ever cut a woman’s hair? Would you cut mine?”

5) Snow White and the Seven Gremlins

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs meet Gremlins

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs meet Gremlins

“Queen: Magic Mirror, on the wall, who, *now*, is the fairest one of all?

Magic Mirror: Over the seven jewelled hills, beyond the seventh fall, in the cottage of the Seven Dwarfs, dwells Snow White, fairest of them all.

Queen: Snow White lies dead in the forest. The huntsman has brought me proof. Behold, her heart.

Magic Mirror: Snow white still lives, fairest in the land. ‘Tis a gremlin you hold in your hand.

Queen: A gremlin! Then I’ve been tricked!”

6) And my personal fav The Creature and the Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid meets The Creature from the Black Lagoon

The Little Mermaid meets The Creature from the Black Lagoon

“Creature: Rawr, rawr, rawr!”

I hope you liked those. I thought they were pretty funny.