Nothing Will Stop It! Nothing Can Stop the Blob!: The Blob (1958)

Nothing will stop it! Nothing can stop the Blob!

So back at the beginning of the year my book club read Steve McQueen: The Salvation of an American Icon by Greg Laurie.

After I finished reading it, I thought it would be perfect to end Horrorfest IX with The Blob as I would have all my book reviews completed by then.

Yes, I was so idealistic at the beginning of the year. You see I am behind in my book club reviews. I am like 16 months behind.

Yes its bad. Eventually I will catch up, but as I hadn’t gotten to that book yet, I decided to move the review up and end on a different film.

This film is one of my favorite “B” horror films and I just love it. The first time I watched this film I saw it on TCM and I remember hearing this really interesting tidbit in the intro. Steve McQueen was offered 10% of the profits or $2500. At the time he had no money, very little food, and needed to pay the rent. He thought the film was going to bomb or have relative success so he took the paycheck. This film made so much money-people estimate he could have made as much as 40,0000. Everything in life is a gamble and you win some and lose some.

Here we go with the review:

So we start with a jazzy song written for the film. It was supposed to be in the style of The Monster Mash, but to me it sounds weird with the film-like it should be less dancing and more grim in my opinion. It became a huge hit and was on the Billboard Charts.

We start the film off with two teens making out, one is Steve Andrews (Steve McQueen) the other Jane Martin (Aneta Corsaut). They stop as Jane is upset as she feels used and that Steve just brought her up to neck, and doesn’t really care about her. Steve tries to reassure her, but it doesn’t seem to help. He finally convinces her that he is being honest and cares when they are interrupted by a shooting star streaking across the sky and crashing. Steve wants to get it, so the two drive off to look. Be careful, sometimes a shooting star is more than you think it will be, case in point:

Meanwhile, an old man and his dog who live up there are awoken by something-the dog barking like crazy and freaking out. The man leaves the dog inside and goes to investigate ad finds a huge hole with a little meteor in it.

Hmmm…

The man pokes it with a stick and it unfurls-it’s pretty gross and it actually reminds me of Alien when we first see the Xenomorph XX121 things.

The man puts the stick to it and it goes right into it and grabs the old man. He tries to get it off but can’t.

Steve and Jane come looking for the meteor but don’t see anything and they decide to head back into town and eat. While they drive the old man come running out into the road-they stopping just in time. The man is screaming and upset, so Steve says he ca take him to a doctor. Steve almost touches the old man’s hand, but the old man pulls away, thank goodness.

Every time they show Steve McQueen I am struck by how gorgeous he is with those ice blue eyes.

The doctor is supposed to be heading out of town for a trip, asking his neighbor to watch his house. Luckily Steve catches the doctor right as he is leaving so he can look at the old man (or unluckily for the Doc I should say). To get there Steve had to drive around some other cars, something his friend don’t take too kindly. They will be back to settle it later.

That’s not good.

Adults are really suspicious of kids in this movie. Steve says they ran into the old man and the Doc gets all upset, Jane saving Steve by saying they picked him up. And its not just him, the cops act rude to the “kids” too.

Hmm…

Steve shows the doctor the hand and the blister has become bigger, consuming his hand.

The doctor sends them back up the hills to see if they find out what happened while the Doc consults his books. When they leave the doc’s office they see the guys from earlier, Tony, Mooch, and Al crowding around Steve’s car.

Tony wants to race as he can’t have his reputation damaged as being slower. Steve keeps trying to get out of it or brushing them off but but they won’t let him.

I like how the guy calls him King, since Steve was the King of Cool.

The two race backwards Steve stopping so the guys have a red light, but he can’t go forward as a cop pulls him over.  It’s thankfully Lt. Dave and not the kid hating cop. I love this scene when Steve is trying to talk himself out of a ticket, it makes me think of my nieces and nephews when they get in trouble and try to talk themselves out of it without actually admitting it.

Steve Andrews: I’ll never do it again.

Lt. Dave: You’ll never do what again?

Steve Andrews: Uh…[speaks softly, not looking at Lt. Dave] whatever you think I’m doing.

It cracks me up.

After the cops, the guys are all friends again. The race has been forgotten. Steve invites the guys to come with and help with the Doctor’s task of seeing if they can find anything helpful where the old man was found, but the guys want to go to the movies and see the midnight flick. Steve convinces the boys to come help.

Meanwhile, the Blob is growing larger on the old man. And the Doc is more confused, calling a friend to consult but he has already left for the convention. He then calls his nurse as he plans to amputate the parasite on the old man.

Back with Steve and the gang they find the hole and the meteor shell plus the lantern the old man had. Jane hears a dog barking and wants to investigate, she calls Steve to come with her, but I never noticed this before he is the last to leave. I think it is interesting how he really thinks about meteors and shooing stars and knows a bit about it. Maybe earlier the line of him coming out to that makeout spot to watch the sky wasn’t a line to get with Jane, but he maybe he is into astronomy.

The friends leave to the movies and invite Steve and Jane to join them. But Steve refuses, as he’s thinking about the meteor.  He and Jane go back to the Doctor’s, Jane taking the dog as she can’t stand to lave it behind and starve.

The nurse and Doc are getting ready, the Doc waring her not to touch whatever is on the man. She goes to get the old man’s pulse and he’s gone, just a blob of something-bigger now.

I know people make fun of this but just think if that was real-that would be so creepy. It’s like a jellyfish-Jellyfish have no bones, brains, blood, etc.-they are basically teeth just floating and consuming. You can’t reason with it.

The doctor and nurse try to stop it, she throws acid on it but it doesn’t stop it. The thing…excuse me that’s another movie…the blob consumes her while the Doc goes for his gun, the lights being knocked out and the doctor can’t see. He tries to use his gun, but it can’t stop it-nothing can stop the Blob!

Aahhh!!

Steve goes to the Doc’s but everything is closed and dark. He goes to check the garage and sees the doctor consumed by something.

Ahhhhhhh!

Steve goes to tell the police the Doc was killed, but falters when it comes time to explain as to what he saw. He tries to tell Lt. Dave but Sgt. Jim Bert, the kid-hater, refuses to listen. Dave overrules him and they go investigate the Doctor’s office. At the Doc’s they can’t find anything. Everything looks as if the doctor left-no trace of him at all. They do find a mess in the doctor’s study, like a struggle as the room is all messed up and a shotgun having been fired but no shots or shot marks.

Burns is just yelling at Steve thinking they are playing a prank and ouch-Jane sends out a zinger.

Lieutenant Dave: Hold on, Jim, the kids couldn’t have done this. You saw for yourself, the window was locked from the inside, and so was the door.

Sgt. Jim Bert: They rigged it with a piece of string to lock from the outside to make us look silly.

Jane Martin: I think you’re doing a good job of that all by yourself, Sergeant.

The neighbor, Mrs. Porter, says the Doc left for the convention. Mrs. Porter is no help explaining everything away so the cops don’t believe Steve. The police tell her not to touch anything in the “crime scene”, but she refuses she wants to clean up.

At a nearby garage two guys are working on a car, when the Bob comes around and consumes a guy under a car.

The police brought them to the station and called the parents. Jane’s dad is very upset as he is the principal and it damages his reputation. Steve’s dad is much calmer. Mr. Andrews, Steve’s dad comes to his defense saying that he wouldn’t lie about this-about breaking in somewhere.

Dave sends the kids home but it doesn’t sit well with him, something doesn’t feel right.

Hmm…

The cops argue with each other should we charge them or not? Dave thinks that the have no reason to as they will wait and speak to the doctor in the morning. We also find out Sgt. Jim Bert hates kids as one crashed into his wife and she died. Aw. Poor guy.

Jane is trying to sneak out of the house when her little brother Danny spots her leaving. She tries to keep him quiet, but man this kid is yelling. Every time I watch this all I can think is how do her parent’s not hear them?

Steve is asleep in his bed, at least until his parents think he is as he too sneaks out of the house and right into Jane. It’s funny that she scares him like a little kid.

Steve is completely freaked, I know I would be if I witnessed what he did. He tells Jane-the trauma and how he feels crazy. Jane is a good girlfriend and tells him she believes him. But Steve is starting to wonder…did he see what he think he saw? No, he know he did! Didn’t he?

Jane us such a great girlfriend she zones in what he is feeling and tells him not to convince himself it didn’t happen as he knows it did.

Steve is unsure what to do next as they might end up getting killed by whatever the thing is. Jane suggests they get Tony, Mooch, and Al to help them search. Steve goes to the movies and not only convinces his friends, but their dates to help them, they are such good friends.

The kids go looking for the Blob and to warn people, but everyone laughs them off and no one takes them seriously.

Steve and Jane find the dog by Steve’s dad’s store. The door is unlocked which is strange as the last employee should have locked up and gone home.

They look around the store in the dark, and it’s very creepy. The dark alway is as you don’t know what is out there.

Hmm…

It tuns out the Blob is in there and Jane faints when she sees it. Steve picks her up and tries to carry her out the back way, but the door is locked and the Blob moves fast. They are hurrying in the back and hide out in the freezer. Jane starts getting hysterical knowing that no one will come to help them as no one knows they are there. The Blob starts creeping under the door when it suddenly retreats? Why?

Hmm…from Saboteur

In the beginning the Blob was a blue black, then clear, and now a deep dark red. I never noticed before that the more it consumes the darker it gets.

Jane is freezing in the storeroom and still freaking out-similar to how Steve was the first time he saw it. Steve takes command and they slowly peek out to see if it is safe. They come into the store but it is still creepy as the lights are off and it is hard to see where the Blob might be. Steve and Jane run and get out and share with the rest of the gang that the Blob was in the store.

The kids call the police but Dave has gone home to bed and Sgt. Bert is there and refuses to listen to the kids as kids are all liars.

Ugh…this guy

The kids start driving up and down the streets making a lot of noise trying to wake everyone up. Soon everyone starts coming to see what is going on.

Steve tries to warn everyone but Bert still won’t listen. Steve is trying his best to convince them but the police are still not sure-although Dave knows that Steve is telling the truth that he is scared.

Steve Andrews: Dave, look at me! Do I look like somebody’s playing a practical joke? Am I laughing, or am I scared stiff?

Lieutenant Dave: He’s telling the truth.

Dave sends everyone home and gets the firefighters to grab guns and help them. Meanwhile in the movie theater all are having a good time when the Blob slinks through the air vent and attacks the projectionist. Then the movie cuts out and the Blob is coming down on the the seats. The blob has grown even bigger.

They have a Blobfest where this was filmed and they reenact this scene. I had planned to go this year but unfortunately…canceled like everything else.

People are running into the diner, but the Blob is coming for them.

Jan’s brother Danny shoots his pop gun and then hides in the diner. Where the heck are his parents? How did he get there?

In the diner are Steve, a waitress, Jane and Danny. The blob is on top. They have tried guns and nothing seems to be able to stop it. The police decide to drop a power line on it, the group moving to the cellar, but it doesn’t work.

That’s not good.

The diner catches on fire and the group starts coughing. There is no way out as they are completely surrounded and are going to die  by smoke or the Blob.

Jane is freaking  out but calms herself down to be strong for Danny, telling him everything is going to be alright.

The diner owner hasn’t accepted death and starts using the fire extinguisher which causes the Blob to retreat.

Steve figures out that it can’t stand the cold, and that’s why it didn’t attack them when they were in the freezer.

Steve starts yelling to the phone, thank goodness it is one of those old ones, if it had been plastic it would be burned out by now. Dave sends the fire chief after some fire extinguishers while Principl Martin, Jane’s dad, takes Steve’s friends to the school to pickup all the ones there.

I was about to say something sarcastic like of course he brought his school keys with him in the middle of the night when it turns out he doesn’t and their have to break a window-Principal Martin doing it as he is so worried about his daughter and son in the clutches of the Blob. Good job writers!

The police get through to the military while the rest of the people fight off the Blob with fire extinguishers. The group slowly makes their escape.

The freeze the Blob and It is transported to the Artic. Good, it can hang out with The Thing from Another World.

We end with a question mark, will we seeit again? I know I will watch it again. I still think it is a great movie after all this time and love watching it and Steve McQueen.

In reading Steve McQueen: The Salvation of an American Icon, by Greg Laurie, he mentions that the film was made by a Christian company trying to reach the kids of today. Just for fun I tried to think of any Christian messages I could see a minister using to make a sermon.

You can be consumed by sin the way one is consumed by the Blob. “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

The way the adults treat the kids not listening to them or valuing their opinions because they are kids. “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young…” Timothy 4:12

When Steve gets his friends to help him look for the Blob warning them and knowing that if they encounter it they will most likely die, but his friends agreeing to help anyway: “There is no greater love than this: that a person would lay down his life for the sake of his friends. ” John 15:13

What do you think?

For more visitors from another world, go to Gort! Klaatu Barada Nikto!: The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

For more “B” Horror Films, go to They’re Coming for Me Now…And Then They’ll Come for You: House on Haunted Hill (1959)

For more shooting stars, go to Non-Austen Films for Austen Fans: Stardust (2007)

Holy Crap, Leonard’s a Zombie: Epidemiology, Community (2010)

So my friend loves Community and tried to get me to watch it with her.

We watched some and I loved it…until they forced the Dean to take care of the Changnesia ex-teacher Ben Chang who had imprisoned him for months. After coming from an abusive relationship, I was not interested.

Not for me.

With COVID-19, my friend suggested I give it another watch and started rewatching and was hooked.

Not every episode was for me, but after all the bad news in the world it was nice to have some comedy and laugh. The thing I love about it it is all the different homages to film and TV and Abed’s film references as that is me and my obsession with film.

So after the marathon I had this past summer, I thought what better time than now to review one of it’s Halloween episodes. I had a hard time choosing between this and “Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps”, and I went with the former as I really like the horror homage being set to ABBA.

So the “fake” Spanish Study Group was formed when Jeff Winger (Joel McHale), a former lawyer who had faked his degree and has to go to college, wanted to try and get with Britta Perry (Gillian Jacobs). Britta asks Abed Nadier (Danny Pudi) to join him. He invites a few others, and the group rounds up to Pierce Hawthorne (Chevy Chase), Troy Barnes (Donald Glover Jr.), Annie Edison (Alison Brie), and Shirley Bennet (Yvette Nicole Brown).

The group ends up becoming close friends, even though Jeff tries hard not to, and after they all pass Spanish-they continue with Anthropology. Since they started the class Jeff was attacked by the Anthropology professor: Jeff goes to a party at his old law firm and finds out his old buddy Alan is the one who revealed his fake degree (but he still helped him so that Alan would owe him a favor); Pierce’s mother died and was “vaporized” into his cult and Jeff went through a midlife crisis regarding his mortality; they rode a Space Simulator that was donated by KFC, Shirley and Abed had a showdown regarding Jesus; and Pierce joined a group of “Hipsters” (those who had their hips replaced) and was reverting to teenage rebellion. So Halloween is her again and after the craziness of Pierce getting drugged and freaking out, all are looking forward to a “regular” holiday.

So we start of with George Takai narrating the episode. The Greendale Community College Dean is dressed as Lady Gaga and got a special deal on military rations surplus food for this year’s Halloween dance-man this school has A LOT of dances. My four year university only had one thrown by the actual school-the Blue & White Ball/Homecoming dance. Everything else was done by clubs, Frats, or Sororities. They always do this in TV, like Saved by the Bell’s school had a gazillion.

The study group is there-Jeff is David Beckham, Pierce Captain Kirk from Star Trek, Troy as Ripley from the Alien series with Abed as the Alien Queen from Aliens, Britta a dinosaur, Annie Red Riding Hood, and Shirley Glinda the Good Witch.

Pierce has been eating the food and starts acting weird and sick, not too far off from what he did last year. Annie finds Rich (Jeff’s nemesis from pottery class), a doctor to examine Pierce.

Hmm…

Abed and Troy’s costumes are soooo cool. I’m glad I have my sister to do costumes with, I miss matching costumes.

Rich quickly grows busy as there are more and more people sick-their effects changing to biting people and 102 degree temps. Uh, oh. Biting people? Vampires?

Troy gets upset that girls aren’t into his costume as Ripley and tries to make a new on out of the toilet seat covers and toilet paper-a sexy Dracula.

Not for me.

The Ripley costume was much cooler.

Annie discovers that the illness is being transferred from the bites and takes a hold of them much faster.

That’s not good.

The Dean calls to complain to the store and reads the label, giving the code word-as soon as he does the call is taken over by the military. This reminds me of Return of Night of the Living Dead when the military sends the zombies from Night of the Living Dead, to the crematorium and the two workers get into it, releasing zombies on the world. He is told to lock them in the building and help will arrive in 6 hours.

Annie tries to coordinate an orderly evacuation of those that aren’t sick, but Troy sees Leonard biting someone and screams:

Troy Barnes: Holy crap, Leonard’s a Zombie!

Soo utter pandemonium is with people screaming, running, zombies biting, and ABBA’s Dancing Queen playing in the background.

Zombies from Night of the Living Dead

The study room runs with Jeff throwing his soccer ball and punching people out of the way. Jeff always gets the action scenes.

The group locks themselves in their study room, just like in Night of the Living Dead. In Night of the Living Dead they were house to wait it out. Rich asks if any are bitten and all say no-but I’ve seen the film Night of the Living Dead. One of them is a liar, but which one?

Hmm…?

Also in the background is a tombstone that says Craig Pelton, the Dean. Foreshadowing?

Hmm…

They start barricading the doors and are scared and unsure they will last the full six hours, Dr. Rich says they only have three hours before permanent brain damage is done.

That’s not good.

Annie comes up with the idea to lower the building temp in efforts to stop the fever. Luckily Abed knows where the thermostat is. Sooo in reality they probably wouldn’t be able to do anything as the thermostat is probably closely regulated. I know the thermostat at my university was as they didn’t want anyone messing with it. And of course the thermostat is on the other side of the library as they need an excuse to leave the safety and make a run for it.

Dr. Rich starts sharing the symptoms of the disease and slurs in the middle as he has ever symptom. Yep, he’s been bit and he let them barricade themselves in with him? He’s like the little girl in The Night of the Living Dead.

But at least she was a child, you are an adult-and a doctor. Isn’t your first vow to do no harm? So yeah, you suck.

Oh and it turns out he wasn’t the only one. Britta was bit too.

Chang, dressed a Peggy Fleming, throws his ice skate at Dr. Rich and misses hitting the window. It breaks and the zombies start coming in, taking Annie.

The Zombies chase the remaining group and Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie! (A Man After Midnight) plays. It is a perfect pairing!

The non-zombie members of study group run for their lives, Jeff punching people left and right.

Shirley falls and is saved by Chang having split from the group they hide out in the ladies bathroom. Shirley and Change share a tender moment that develops as both believe it is the end of the world.

They will regret that the next day.

Jeff, Troy, and Abed are all that are left. The boys are then assaulted by a crazy cat-homage to horror films, and Abed spots a window they can escape from. Jeff doesn’t want to as he is wearing a $6000 suit. He tries to go through the door and gets attacked by the Zombies.

Jeff isn’t too upset about being a zombie, but is more angry about his archival Dr. Rich stealing his jacket. Oh, Jeff.

Abed and Troy start climbing shelves, shelves that look a lot like the ones from the Lava episode, “Geothermal Escapism”. Abed sacrifices himself so that Troy can save them all-quoting the “I Love You” scene from Star Wars.

Troy gets out and knocks the Dean over to get the key. He runs back into the library in his costume with the song Mama Mia playing in the background. Troy runs through the people in his Ripley costume punching people left and right, but they quickly overpower him. It was cool while it lasted.

Even though he becomes Zombified, with his final moments before he is fully zombified he crawls to the thermostat and mages a temp change.

What!

Fernando plays as the air starts coming through and they grow cold and begin to change back. They are going to take them out, but as they seem to be normal they Men in Black blue light them and they can’t remember anything that happened-they think it was a mass roofie.

After Troy and Abed have their wounds treated, they head to the dormitory to watch a movie…anything but Zombies.

In the end, Troy listens to his voicemails and discovers a message from Chang, so it really did happen.

For more Zombies, go to Sometimes, Dead is Better: Pet Sematary (1989)

For more ABBA, go to Take a Chance on Me: Austentatious (2015)

For more TV episodes reviews, go to The Adventure of the Sinister Scenario: Ellery Queen (1976)

A Survivor… Unclouded By Conscience, Remorse, or Delusions of Morality: Alien (1979)

A survivor… unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.

So you know what I always say about sequels & remakes:

But this is one series that I actually prefer the sequel over the original. I think Aliens surpasses Alien.

I know, I know. What is wrong with me?

I really think it is only because I watched the films in reverse. If I had seen Alien before Aliens, I’m sure I would think differently.

Hmm…

Anyways, so the film begins with a crew of people of the Nostromo being awakened early and far from home.

Apparently the ship heard a distress signal and policy says they have to follow it, even though almost all want to ignore it and head on home.

Ugh.

The signal comes from an alien spacecraft, and a group-Captain Dallas (Tom Skerrit), Lambert (Veronica Cartwright), and Kane (John Hurt)-are sent out to investigate it.

Hmm…

Meanwhile, Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) the second-in-command discovered that something was not right about the message that brought them there.

Ripley: Ash, that transmission… Mother’s deciphered part of it. It doesn’t look like an S.O.S.

Ash: What is it, then?

Ripley: Well, I… it looks like a warning. I’m gonna go out after them.

Ash: What’s the point? I mean by the-the time it takes to get there, you’ll… they’ll know if it’s a warning or not, yes?

Back on the planet, Kane gets separated from the rest of the group and finds a room full of something, he doesn’t know what. A hot room full of these pod like things.

One of them breaks open and Kane is attacked by what we later refer to as a facehugger.

Dallas and Lambert rush him quickly back to the ship, but Ripley does not want to let them in. Policy is that when a group is exposed to something, they are not allowed in for 24 hours in case they might infect the rest of the crew or damage the ship.

Everyone is angry with her and demanding her to open the ship, but she refuses. She refuses even though her boyfriend, Captain Dallas, is one of those outside and she was good friends with Kane. She is taking no chances, no matter what the pressure.

But the doors end up sliding open, and the three rush inside.

Help me! I’m confused!

Yes, it turns out that the new addition to their team- Science Officer Ash (Ian Holm [Bilbo Baggins to you LOtR fans]) has overridden her.

Ripley is furious, and instead of defending her-Dallas sides with Ash.

Ripley: Did you ever ship out with Ash before?

Dallas: I went out five times with another science officer. They replaced him two days before we left Thedus with Ash. Hm?

Ripley: I don’t trust him.

Dallas: Well, I don’t trust anybody.

Dallas and Ash them start investigating what the thing is and how they can help Kane.

Later the creature detaches itself and is found dead.

Strange…

Kane also wakes up and is perfectly fine!

I know, right?

Some strange alien creature stuck to his face, but no big deal he wakes up with just a little memory loss?

[Kane wakes up from his comatose state]

Parker: How ya doin’?

Kane: Terrific. Next silly question? [they laugh, Ash hands him a cup of water]Oh, thank you.

Dallas: You remember anything about the planet?

[Kane shakes his head]

Ripley: What’s the last thing you do remember? Huh?

Kane: I remember some… horrible dream about… smothering? I don’t know… Anyway, where are we?

Dallas: We’re right here.

Ripley: We’re on our way home!

Brett: Yeah, back to the ole freezerinos. Ahaha.

I always thought it was weird how this creature like attached itself on him like a leech but everyone was like no big deal.

I feel like I would think lets do some tests and make sure he doesn’t have something in his bloodstream or you know.

Hmm…

Anyways, business as normal. Everyone tries to get ready to return home-stopping for dinner.

Yes, one of the best scenes in the film. So terrifyingly great. And all the expressions were real. Ridley Scott told the crew barely anything because he wanted to be sure that when they saw what happened they were really surprised. And boy were they and everyone else.

And of course a scene like that is parodied and referenced so many times. Everything from Spaceballs to Shrek 2.

Wow

Anyways, now the crew has a giant problem. Here is a creature they know nothing about running around their ship, who has acid blood, and wants to kill them all. Quickly this turns to a vein of And Then There Were None/Ten Little Indians. Something is hunting them-picking them off one by one. But who will it strike next and when?

And to make things even worse-The alien-Xenomorph XX121-has grown to be bigger than any crew member.

And to make them even more worse-someone on the crew has betrays the others by wanting this to happen. Yes-one of the crew members purposely strove to find this creature and knew this destruction would occur.

This is a great film-and horror/mystery. And something else I love is the lighting, angles, set design and pacing of the film. They all work fantastically well to build suspense and tell the story.

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to Is She Mrs. X?: So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)

For more on the Alien series, go to The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend: Alien Vs. Predator (2004)

For more alien films, go to They’re Here Already! You’re Next!: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

For more films that spanned tons of sequels, go to You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat: Jaws (1975) 

The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend: Alien Vs. Predator (2004)

The enemy of my enemy… is my friend

So some of you might be wondering, why am I reviewing Alien Vs. Predator before reviewing Alien (1979), Predator (1987), Aliens (1989), Predator 2 (1990), Alien³ (1992), or Alien: Resurrection (1997).

Well there are two reasons why: 1) I just saw it last week so it is fresh in my mind; and 2) This was the first movie I saw in either franchise. Although I kind of knew what Alien was about as I had seen Spaceballs.

So Alien Vs. Predator, was an idea that began in back in the ’80s after the films came out. It was then shown in comics, video games, etc. Eventually a script was written, but no studio wanted to make it, so it sat on the back burner for ten years.

It eventually was accepted and is the higest grossing film in either franchise to date. It is absolutely riddled with references to both films, so if you are a fan you will enjoy.

So let’s get started!

So it is the year 2004, a Predator ship is nearing the Earth, and some scientists detect a mysterious heat bloom beneath the ice on the island Bouvetoya, near Antartica.

What is it with aliens/monstrous creatures and Antarctica? We have Aliens Vs. Predator, The Thing from Another World, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, etc. I guess some like the cold, although The Blob didn’t. Sorry, moving on.

Billionaire Charles Bishop Weyland (those who are Alien fans should recognize why I bolded that), decides he wants to claim it for himself. He sends out his top man to recruit the best from all over the world.

Alexa “Lex” Woods is the best field guide for Antarctica. They offer her a large sum to come to a meeeting and hear Weyland’s proposal.

Sebastian de Rosa, is a struggling archeologist in Mexico. He is just about out of money, and the bank won’t supply anymore; when just like in Jurassic Park Weyland’s man comes with an amazing offer.

I love this man. He is smart, sexy, Italian, and oh…there’s only one word to describe how I feel. Swoonworthy!

Anyways, these two and a collection of paleontologists, linguistic experts, drillers, and mercenaries all gather together. Weyland shows the prospective team the discovery, a pyramid that is a blend of three different cultures. He proposes that they all go try and discover what this phenomenon is.

Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods: Where exactly on the ice is this?

Charles Bishop Weyland: Bouvetøya Island. But it’s not on the ice. It’s 2,000 feet below it.

All will be rewarded handsomely.

AWESOME!!!

Lex is the only one that disagrees, stating that they aren’t ready to make the journey in, they need more time to train the crew. Weyland refuses, saying they need to go now before anyone else moves in.

Lex says she won’t be a part and goes to leave. Weyland agrees to let her go, saying they will go with their number 2 guy.

Good-bye

When Lex hears who it is, she refuses to go. While she doesn’t want to stay and help a group she thinks is doomed for failure, she’d rather go and help them survive.

So the team moves out. While they are getting there, the Predator ship has entered the Earth’s orbit. They make a shaft from the surface to the pyramid below.

From the film Stargate.

When the team reach the island they discover that on the surface is an old whaling station. A hundred years ago, in 1904, the whole crew disappeared. It is still an unsolved mystery.

When the team gets ready to drill a cavity to reach the pyramid. The discover one has already been dug for them.

What?

And when the drillers start examining it, they discover that the area was cut with no tools that exist on Earth.

They decide to head down to the pyramid anyways, with a few near mishaps along the way.

When they get inside the pyramid, they start examining the walls and the rooms. They discover that this civilization must be older than anything they have ever known in history. And one of the rooms, appears to be some mind of sacrificial chamber.

Noooooooooo!!!!! Don’t go in!

However as this is a film and the characters can’t hear me, they of course go in and start looking around. There they find remains with a large hole on the left side of their chest.

Adele Rousseau: What happened here?

Thomas: It’s common in ritual sacrifice to take the heart of the victim.

Adele Rousseau: That’s nice. But that’s not where your heart is. [pause] Besides it looks like the bones were bent straight out. [Thomas stares at Rousseau] Something broke out of this body.

Now this bothered me the first time I saw it, and it bothers me still. THE ALIENS SHOULD NOT BE COMING OUT OF THE CHEST!!!! THEY SHOUD BE COMING OUT OF THE STOMACH!!!!

They screwed up one of the best scenes. It is way creepier seeing this:

Anyways, back to the film.

So unbeknownst to them, on the surface, the three predators have takes out the rest of the team. Below them, their presence has begun the preparations for “the game” and awakened the Queen Alien Queen. It is a creepy scene. I couldn’t find a video, but trust me, it is super creepy!

So back in the sacrificial room, Sebastian has discovered what appears to be a sarcophagus with a calendar lock, set for October 10, 1904.

He studies it and notices that ten, and multiples of it, seem to be significant to this culture, whatever this culture is. He then moves the date to October 10, 2004; the current date.

Don’t you know better than to touch/mess with things. Like in The Mummy (1999), you never know what might happen.

Some things should just be left alone. But no, these are scientists and they never know when to back off, setting off the spring lock and revealing guns.

What is an ancient civilization doing with such advanced weapons we don’t even have today? How did they get them? Where did they get them? It just doesn’t make sense.

[the team finds the Predators’ shoulder cannons]

Graeme Miller: Any idea what these are?

Sebastian de Rosa: No, you?

Graeme Miller: No.

Maxwell Stafford: It’s a good thing we brought the experts.

Graeme Miller: Well, yeah, it is a good thing, cos’ this is like finding Moses’ DVD collection.

And then as Lex convinces them it is time to move topside and regroup, they stupidly take the guns, beginning the “game.” Now part of the game is that every so often the pryamid shifts, making one difficult playing ground for either team.

If that was me? I’d start shooting everywhere, killing as much as possible.

For reals, they would all be dead.

So the teams are separated and all are trying to find an exit, but soon they will realize that will be near impossible.

As Lex’s party makes their way to the exit, they are attacked by the Predators, of which have to switch gears when the aliens start showing themselves.

Yeah two Predators end up getting killed. Too bad they didn’t have their guns.

Soon everyone is being killed or taken to be impregnated by the aliens until they are properly formed. This actually reminds me a lot of the tarantula wasp, who lays its eggs in the spider. When the eggs hatch they eat the spider, then creating a cocoon in the spider body, coming out when it is fully matured. After all that’s what happens here, except no eating. The alien baby goes into the human, emerging only when fully pupated.

The only ones left are Weyland (who is slowing them down as he is on his deathbed with his bad heart), Lex, and sexy Sebastian. Lex wants to lighten Weyland’s load, discarding the gun he took from the sacrificial chamber. When he refuses, wanting something from the death and destruction, she switches the heavy weapon to her pack instead. They are then interrupted by Sebastian, who has figured out that the pyramid also goes off the decimal system, and that every ten minutes the pyramid shifts.

Weyland asks to be left behind, to buy them some time from the predator hunting them. Lex and Sebastian don’t like it, but agree and head off to another area trying to escape. Weyland is killed when he attacks the remaining Predator, but Sebastian and Lex make it out. Oh, this scene always stresses me out.

So luckily, they ended up in the room full of the hieroglyphics that tell us the backstory of why these extraterrestrials have come to our planet.

Yes, the whole thing was a trap. They made that heat signal to attract somebody, as this was the only way to begin the hunt as they need the humans for hosts.

After hearing the story, Lex figures out what they must do to survive, is to give the weapon back to the Predator.

Sebastian de Rosa: When that door opens, we’re dead.

Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods: Not if we set things right.

Sebastian de Rosa: What do you mean?

Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods: This pyramid, it’s like a prison. We took the guards’ guns, and now the prisoners are running free. To restore order, the guards need their guns.

Sebastian de Rosa: During a big game hunt, the animals being hunted don’t arm the hunters!

Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods: They’re not hunting us. We’re in the middle of a war. It’s time to pick a side.

Sebastian de Rosa: We are on our side!

Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods: We have to consider the possibility that we might not make it out of here.

Sebastian de Rosa: The enemy of my enemy… is my friend.

Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods: [pyramid starts to reconfigure] Let’s go find our friend.

So after the pyramid opens, the two go looking for a Predator, but run into an alien. They run away, but reach a collapsed bridge. Taking an Indiana Jones  leap of faith, they jump across the chasm. Sebastian lands rights, while Lex on loose stones and starts falling.

Sebastian helps pull her up, until he is taken by an alien.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

WHY!!! WHY!!! WHY SEBASTIAN?????????

He was an awesome character. He was intelligent, funny, kind, has common sense, and hot. Poor Sebastian. RIP handsome.

Back to the review.  So Lex is running away, and runs right into the Predator. He is about to kill her, when she stops him and gives him back the weapon. Before the Predator can do anything else, and alien attacks them.

Having proven her worth, Lex and the Predator head out to finish up.

The two head back to the sacrificial chamber, which we should really call the birthing room. There Lex finds all her team members, including Sebastian, all of which have been impregnated.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

NOT SEBASTIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the Predator scans the room, and sees that the eggs are all going to try and hatch. He activates his bomb, to destroy everything. Then he and Lex run to the lift, planning to get out of there and to the surface, as quickly as possible. They are followed by the Queen, but make it up the surface. The whole pyramid goes Kablooey!

But it turns out that the Queen wasn’t destroyed in the blast! She comes topside and knocks the Predator out, chasing after Lex to destroy her too.

You know for a huge environmentalist, Lex just threw a whole bunch of trash into the ocean. She could seriously damage the ecosystem. And I don’t know if that was the best idea as we don’t if the aliens are unable to survive underwater. Maybe they can. I couldn’t find any info on that. Anyways…

So after all the fighting is completed, the Predator ship returns to pick up its champions. They take their fallen warrior inside and are about to kill Lex, when the see the sign the Predator carved into her face. She is a warrior, equal to them.

They leave and in the ship, the crew get a surprise.

Now this was a part I didn’t like either. All the other people when impregnated, had the alien jump out rather quickly. I mean Sebastian got his after the Predator was supposedly infected, and his came out way before. And I looked it up, so don’t say it is because they were in a different species, its supposed to happen for everyone two hours after impregnation. This was just a cheap twist in order to ensure a sequel. And I hate it when filmmakers do that.

But on the whole I loved this movie. The story was a great homage to both films, with its own flavor and not giving the vibe of being a remake. The characters were great, and pretty intelligent, making only one big mistake (removing the weapons). The main character, Lex, was a strong character like Ripley: powerful, and in control; but a realistic way, being scared and frightened but using that fear to fight. Great movie.

As for the sequel? We’ll just have to save that for another post.

To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?: The Twilight Zone (1961)

For more aliens, go to It’s Mrs. Archer. She’s On a Rampage!: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

For more expeditions gone wrong, go to Eternal Punishment for Anyone Who Opens This Casket: The Mummy (1932)

 

What is This Thing?: Phantoms (1998)

Just what is this thing? Chaos, chaos in the flesh.

Phantoms is a 1998 film that is based on the book by Dean Koontz. The story is very creepy, and I was surprised at how well the film was done. I thought it was going to be done in a very stupid, silly way; but it was the essence of creepiness. The only thing I didn’t care for was Liev Schreiber, I felt that he didn’t portray the character very well in the beginning. I wouldn’t have chosen Rose McGowan either, but she did surprisingly well. I loved Ben Affleck as the sexy Sheriff and love interest. I love Ben Affleck though, I mean who doesn’t? They changed the film from the book, as expected, but the changes do not destroy the film, thank goodness. If you’d like to watch the film go here. So the film starts out with Dr. Jennifer Pailey bringing her trouble-making sister Lisa to live with her. They are hoping the change of scenery will help straighten her out as she was involved with gang members in Los Angelas.

I want to go back to LA

When they reach the town, it is empty. Like really empty. There is no one out and about even though they are in a ski town, in the middle of winter with great snow.

They continue on home. When Jennifer gets there she finds her housekeeper dead. All the life had been sucked out of her and she looks burned.

[Note: Pic from The Giant Behemoth not Phantoms]

The girls are widely freaked and decided to head to the sheriff’s. But there is one problem, their car won’t work.

Oh no!

The girls hurry on to the sheriff’s office where they find a deputy, burned and blackened. He appears to have shot his gun at something, but they don’t find any traces of it, except shells. Dr. Jennifer grabs a gun and the two run off to the bakery, as it is getting dark and they are really freaked out. They head to the baker’s, running quickly as they hear sounds as if someone is following them. When they get there the oven goes off revealing severed heads!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

The girls are completely grossed out and confused when the Sheriff (who ex-FBI) finds them.

Hello Sexy!

With him are his two deputies Steve Shanning (Nicky Katt) and Stuart Wargle (Liev Shreiber) have come to investigate. They decide the best thing to do is go to the sheriff’s department, and just when they do every single horn, siren, whistle, bell, etc. goes off and then suddenly stops. The only lights left on are down on the Candleglow Inn up the street.

They check it out and see that only four guests are registered. The Sheriff and Stu go upstairs, while the girls stay behind with deputy Steve.

While the sheriff is upstairs he goes into a room and starts looking through an opening in a closet. When he does he sees a vision of a young boy with a gun, which disappers. You see when the Sheriff was FBI he accidentally shot a boy, which made him quit and turn to small town life.

Aw! Look at his face. 😦

Stu goes in the other room and finds a beautiful, dead woman. He sits next to her and puts his hand up her leg…

What a perv!

Then the Sheriff walks in. He lets it go, even though he is severely grossed out as he knows what Stu was doing, but he needs every man he can get as he has no idea what the situation is.

The Sheriff has Stu watch the hall as he continues checking things out. Stu comes on to Lisa who tells him flat out no, she is not digging that.

Dr. Jennifer joins the Sheriff and they discover that a bathroom locked from the inside (that has no other windows or doors) is empty, with something written on the mirror in lipstick. The writing says “Dr. Timothy Flyte–The Ancient Enemy“.

 

The two have no idea who Dr. Flyte is but intend on finding out.  In another empty room they find a bunch of metal objects like jewelry, buttons, watches, gold teeth, a pacemaker, etc.; concluding that this thing, whatever it is strips a person completely of everything, if it chooses.

EW!

They go back into the lobby to regroup and figure out their next step. But then they suddenly hear a woman crying out “Help me!” and Deputy Steve rushes out to save her. The Sheriff follows him, but when he gets outside all that is left of Steve is his shoes and a gun.

They head back to the Sheriff’s office and put the dead deputy in a body bag. They then call for help–military, Dr. Flyte, anybody, but the line was so bad they don’t know whether or not it went through.

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! [Note: from When a Stranger Calls not Phantoms]

Bryce and Stu go through the dept. and pull out all their ammunition getting ready for–whatever the thing is that is trying to attack them. The lights go out and the creature takes on a Alien/The Thing (1982) feel. The next thing you know, Stu is dead.

Too be honest, good riddance. He was a creep and I didn’t like him.

They also put Stu in a body bag and wait out the night.

We then switch to another part of the country- Dr. Flyte. Dr. Flyte (Peter O’Toole) is a tabloid worker in New York City. He used to a professor at Oxford, but they let him go as they felt his writings were “too silly”.

 

Two FBI agents ask him to go to the small, winter, town of Snowfield to help solve what the “thing” is.

Back in Snowfield the three survivors are trying to figure out what to do next. Lisa tries to take a nap while the Sheriff tells Dr. Jen about how the monster called up the incident with the young boy. The two are interrupted when Lisa asks the Sherif to walk with her to the bathroom. He checks it and finds it clear. Lisa begins to smoke when she hears a squealing noise coming out of the drain.

She checks out the bathroom stalls (much like Scream) and finds the Deputy Stu there!

 

In the book the “Phantom thing” was more like the Blob from The Blob (1958); although it could take on the shape of other things, or create small phantom pieces of itself. In the film, however, the “Phantom” embodies the form of Stu, which is understandable from a filmmaker point of view. It doesn’t copying The Blob at all, as I mentioned earlier copying The Thing. Just like The Thing, the “phantom” takes on the appearance of something. This wasn’t a horrible decision as I bet it was easier to film. They also did a lot of blackout or limited lighting when the creature was in its true form, which allowed it to remain creepy as your imagination creates it. The director of It (1990)  should have used the same technique, it would have been a better film.

I didn’t really care for Liev Schreiber, and thought he could have been much creepier. Instead he just comes off as a pervert. This film has actually ruined him for me in all other films. When I watch Kate & Leopold, Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3, Lee Daniel’s the Butler, or X-Men Origins: Wolverine; I keep expecting him to do something perverted to all the women.

Yes I am

Anyways, back to the story. So the Sheriff goes into the bathroom and can’t find anything. They go down to check the body bags, but both are empty.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile Dr. Flyte is on route to Snowfield with military General Leland Copperfield, some mobile labs, an armored strike van, etc–all ready to take on whatever the “thing” is. They ask Dr. Flyte about “the Ancient Enemy”. Dr. Flyte explains that there were creatures, he calls “Ancient Enemy” who are amoeboid shapeshifters. This Ancient Enemy rarely feeds, but when it does, the effects are devastating and it was theorized that the Enemy either caused or aided in the extinction of the dinosaurs, the destruction of the Mayan civilization, Roanoke disappearance, the missing army of Nanking, China in 1939, etc. And the town appears to have been built on the home of one of these “Ancient Enemies”.

The group arrives to Snowfield and the three survivors come to meet the army. The next thing you know, “the thing” has taken out almost the whole team using its shape-shifting qualities and the pipes/sewers. Now these scenes are pretty intense. I was watching them and screaming and my roommates were all, are you ok? I highly recommend watching this film.

General Copperfield is last of the military to be killed; as a pair of oily black tentacles seeps up through the pavement, penetrates his hazmat suit, and smothers him.

[Note: From The Mist]

This leaves Dr. Flyte, Sheriff Bryce, Jenny, and Lisa as the remaining survivors..

He’s dead but the “Phantom” uses his body as a mouthpiece and begins speaking to the crowd.

 “My Flesh. Study it. Write the gospel. But do not try to leave. Witnesses to the Miracle.”

The body then falls to the ground and an oily black substance comes out along with a gecko, of which the group is supposed to get a sample of. Dr. Flyte begins to analyze the sample, coming to the conclusion it has lived in the depths of the earth for eons, growing to immense size, and absorbing knowledge from its prey. It can separate off parts of Itself to send as drones, warriors, phantoms, etc.–having them assume the shapes of anything or anyone It has absorbed; even of people or monsters from memories and dreams.With these, It has manipulated Bryce, Jenny, and Lisa into bringing Dr. Flyte here, to be Its prophet, and to write Its gospel. For It has begun to think of Itself as God–or the Devil. Indestructible. All-Powerful. Immortal. Unstoppable.

This is bad. Very bad.

Dr. Flyte’s analysis reveals that It is similar to oil and if they are able to make the same kind of bacteria that eats away at oil spills, they may just have a chance at stopping it. They create cultures and prepare for the final battle.

Dr. Flyte goes out and calls to the creature.

He tells It that he needs to see all of it in order to write Its “gospel”. He says that the others are creating a weapon against It, that they don’t believe in It like he does. It appears first as a single person, but then becomes all 400 residents of the town, merging and melding into one swirling mass, which resolves Itself into an immense, hideous, upright millipede.

The Sheriff, Jenny and Lisa run and fire the guns loaded with the bacteria culture  into It. This causes It to scream.  Jenny and Lisa run for shelter into the nearby deputy’s office, to reload their guns but are pursued by a drone of Deputy Stu.

Deputy Wargle: Oh, you’ve got some guns, ladies, you wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man, would you? [both women cock shotguns and point them at him] That’s a dumb question.

They empty their shotguns into him, knocking him down, and blowing away huge chunks of his legs and arms. Tentacles shoot out of his arm and leg stumps. The girls run away and and he follows, but is killed by Dr. Jen as she shoots him with the last of the culture.

The bigger entity is falling apart and the Sheriff follows the last of It down into the sewer, finding him face to face with the boy that he killed. He hesitates, and while he does so, a tentacle shoots out of the boy’s mouth, and knocks him down. His gun with the culture is stolen by It. It pulls the vials out and starts taunting the Sheriff. In response to It’s mockings the Sheriff pulls out his gun and shoots the vials, causing the bacteria to spread all over.

With one final ear-shattering scream It is gone, and Bryce makes his way back to the others. As a helicopter arrives to rescue them, Dr. Flyte announces to the others that the Entity has won after all: It wanted him to tell the world, and that’s just what he’s going to do. Everything seems to end well, or well enough. Dr. Flyte has his story and will win back his prestige; Sheriff Bryce  is no longer traumatized about killing the boy; Dr. Jen and Sheriff Bryce have found each other; and Lisa and Dr. Jen have bonded. Sounds as perfect an ending you can get for a horror film.

Uh, uh uh. Not quite yet!

We switch to a scene in a bar where Dr. Flyte is in TV talking about It and how it may still be out there waiting. One of the guys in the bar turns to his companion and says its a lot of hooey. A strange laugh is heard and at the end of the bar is Deputy Stu Wrangle, showing that It is still alive.

So it really was a good film, and I’m telling you the scenes with the creature are super creepy!!! You’ll love them if you love scary movies!

So unlike the other facebook cover pages I have made (and you should have guessed by now that practically every post has one) I made two for this one as the first one wasn’t working out right. Here’s the second one for those of you interested.

Comment below which you think is better!

To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts That Lie Hidden Within

For more monster movies, go to Let Them Fight

For more films based on books, go to A Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

For more on Rose McGowan, go to What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?

For more on Ben Affleck, go to Pot o’ Gold