I Don’t Want to Be a Vampire. I’m a Day Person: Once Bitten (1985)

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I don’t want to be a vampire. I’m a day person.

My friend found this film months ago on Youtube and thought it was just hilarious. She knew I loved ’80s films and horror and sent the link to me. Unfortunately, the video had been taken down.

Reality Sucks

However, the other day a friend of hers found a copy of it, so we were able to watch it. Now this film is a horror-comedy, Com-Ror, but at the same time being a parody of those teen films from the ’50s, like I Was a Teenage Werewolf, etc.

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Originally the  screen writer wanted Michael J. Fox to star in the film, but the director, Samuel Goldwyn Jr. thought he wouldn’t be able to carry a theatrical film of this scale.

the irony iron

By the time this film came out, Fox had already starred in Teen Wolf and Back to the Future, both making far more money then this film and cementing Fox’s stardom.

But we aren’t here to talk about those films, we are going to talk about this one.

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The Countess (Lauren Hutton) is nearing her 400th birthday. In her mansion resides: one from early 18th century England, a french sailor, a confederate from the Civil War, her butler and chauffeur from the 1880s,  a WWI pilot, a 1960s flower child, and a set of twins. Every so many years she needs virgin blood to keep her young and beautiful. Three times and the one she has bitten will become a vampire too. That time has come again, but she and her minions are having trouble finding a virgin in 1985 Hollywood.

Countess: How many days left till Halloween, Sebastian?

Sebastian: Oh, a little more than a week, Countess. I told you not to worry.

Countess: Not to worry? How amusing. But then you’re not the one who needs to have the virgin blood of a young man not once, but three times before All Hallows Eve. Not to worry? Being a vampire in the 20th century is a nightmare!

She ponders on what to do, but Sebastian reassures her, they will find a virgin.

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So we are introduce to 18-year-old Mark Kendell (Jim Carrey) and his girlfriend Robin, who live near Hollywood, CA. Mark really wants to have sex, but Robin isn’t ready to do it yet. She wants to wait. Mark is feeling extremely frustrated as he feels as if he is only one who is a virgin.

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I mean come on dude, your best buds haven’t had sex yet and neither has your girlfriend. That’s four right there and there are probably a lot more.

Anyways, so Mark goes to see his friends at the burger joint they work, and these two dudes are quite the crew. One believes he is God’s gift to women and continuously uses the stupidest line to try and pick up women, thinking it will work.

Russ: Hi. I’m Russ, and I’m a Sagittarius. I enjoy surfing, candlelit dinners, and Tolstoy. Listen: I’m a mature person and you’re a mature person, so why don’t we just skip all the bullshit, get rid of our inhibitions, and DO what we really wanna DO?

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The other, Jamie, is Eeyore in human form; always pessimistic and believing the sky is falling.

Reality Sucks

So he goes to his friends and complains about the relationship, Russ telling him that Robin is never going to do it and he should just move on.

What a jerk

What a jerk

Russ then suggests they go find some women to loose their virginity to. They decide to head out to Hollywood and see if they can find some. When I think of Jim Carrey in Hollywood, one film comes to mind…

But I digress, so the group heads to a club called Phone a Date. You pick a table, phone one of the other tables by the numbers assigned to them, and ask to come on over. It actually is kind of a cute idea.

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As long as the person on the other end isn’t a serial killer or creep.

So boys try it out: with Russ first getting a transvestite, then getting rejected, and finally someone calling Mark over. By this time the boys are extremely hammered, having consumed 4 beers each. When Mark walks over, the woman is the Countess.

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She gives him champagne and starts coming on to him, but Mark isn’t really interested in going home with her. He pretty much is out of it, actually. Meanwhile, his friends have two older ladies who are interested in them. They start talking and having fun, when one of the ladies’ husband comes, yells at the boys, and then starts shooting the club up.

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Mark freaks out, and the Countess convinces him to come with her, taking him up to her mansion. Meanwhile, the guy is arrested and the friends are taken off too.

Back at the house, the Countess gives Mark even more champagne. She goes upstairs to get ready, and comes back prepared to feast!

After he is bitten, Mark passes out. The next day he is awakened by Sebastian and the Countess. Mark leaves and promises that he will call and the two can meet up again sometime, but has no real plans to see her anymore. He has a girlfriend, and he is happy to finally lost his virginity.

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But he feels really weird. He starts eating raw meat, even though he’s only loved well-done food. He also can’t remember a thing that’s happened.

His friends ask him what happened and he tells them in the crowded quad, right where his girlfriend is.

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She of course become angry with him for cheating on her and breaks up with him.

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Robin Pierce: Oh Mark, I can’t believe you’re going to throw away our relationship on a one-night stand with a chauffeur and a butler and a slut who eats buttons! But you did. You really did! [takes ring off her fingerYou can have your d*** ring back!

Mark Kendall: What am I supposed to do with it?

Robin Pierce: Use your imagination!

 Mark’s weird behavior continues as he wants to sleep in trunks, looks pale, wears sunglasses all the time, and just acts vampireish.

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He starts having these strange dreams where the Countess is in, but he doesn’t want her. He doesn’t call her like he said he would but tries to get back with Robin.

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Robin accepts his apology and everything is all right again.

Majorly

That night Mark and his friends head downtown. Russ and Jamie try again to pick up on women, but it doesn’t turn out well. Russ hits on a dominatrix and Jamie…well I don’t know what he said but it sure wasn’t good.

Mark goes to Robin’s work and picks out some clothes to try on, black of course.

Black is best

Black is best

While he is in the dressing room, who should appear but the Countess. Mark tries to get rid of her as he isn’t interested, but she won’t take no for an answer. She bites him again. This film actually reminds me of Fatal Attraction, as the morals of both stories: Don’t cheat in a relationship and don’t try to have a one night stand.

So Mark passes out and Robin takes him home. The next day he is acting even stranger. He looks more like a Vampire, can barely tolerate light, wears only black, drinks blood, etc. Then when he tries to sell some ice-cream, he…

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Mark becomes extremely worried, and goes to the nearby Catholic Church to ask for help. Unfortunately, a drunkard steps into the confessional and tell him he’s screwed.

Reality Sucks

Mark is continuously haunted by the Countess and starts to really become frightened with the idea that he might become a vampire.

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I really liked the dream sequence as it was reminiscent of Dracula (1931).

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Soon it will be Halloween but as it falls on a weekend, they are having a pre-Halloween party.

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Mark and Robin were supposed to go as Jack and Jill, but Mark couldn’t get the costume so he dressed like he normally does. But everyone thinks he is a vampire.

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While Robin and Mark are dancing, the Countess comes in and tries to control Mark into going with her. But Robin doesn’t like people messing with her man.

that girl is going after my man she is going to wish she was never born

And this resorts in one of the best scenes, a dance-off.

Afterwards, Mark has a bit of a freakout and takes off, Robin chasing after him. She tries to calm him down. His reflection disappears and Mark tells Robin everything. Robin is weirded out, but when she doesn’t see his reflections, she starts to believe it. So she heads out to do some research.

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She finds out that in order to know if he has been bitten by a female vampire, all you need to do is check the inner thigh for a bite mark. So of course she asks Mark and finds out that yes, he has been bit.

Majorly

Majorly

Instead she asks his friends to find out for her, to look at him. They don’t want to but she guilt trips them into doing it, telling them that if they are really his friends they would look.

Why not ask?

Why not ask?

So they ask Mark.

Majorly

Majorly

Instead they try to look at him in the shower, resulting…well I guess I didn’t have to say it, you know it won’t turn out well.

Mark Kendall: What was that scene in the shower all about?

Russ: That’s the thanks I get for trying to help out a friend?

Mark Kendall: Oh you’re a big help, thanks a lot. Did it ever occur to you guys that maybe you could’ve asked me?

Jamie: Oh my God!

The way Jamie says that reminds me of Arnold in Troll 2.

So they see Robin in the parking lot when she is abducted by the Countess and her gang. You see tonight is Halloween and the Countess needs the third bite or she will revert to showing her true age. Mark is worried about something happening to Robin so he heads over there, aided by Jamie and Russ.

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When they get there they find Robin tied up and let her out, but the whole thing…

The vampires capture them and take them upstairs, where they get ready to get the last bite and turn Mark into a vampire. Mark doesn’t want to:

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The Countess starts trying to control him, but Robin isn’t going to lose her man. She jumps in the middle with a cross, the friends grabbing fire, and they free him.

Count Dracula: Van Helsing. [Van Helsing turns to face Count Dracula] Count Dracula: Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country. Van Helsing: I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy. Count Dracula: You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived. Van Helsing: Should you escape us, Dracula. We know how to save Miss Mina's soul if not her life. Count Dracula: If she dies by day. But I shall see that she dies by night. Van Helsing: And I will have Carfax Abbey torn down, stone by stone, excavated a mile around. I will find your earth-box and drive that stake through your heart. Count Dracula: Come here. [Dracula raises his hand to hypnotise Van Helsing] Count Dracula: Come here...Your will is strong, Van Helsing. [Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him] Count Dracula: More wolfbane? Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count. Count Dracula: Indeed. [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

[Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him]
Count Dracula: More wolfbane?
Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count.
Count Dracula: Indeed. [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

Then the chase is on!

In the end there is only one thing left to do to save Mark.

All, besides the vampires, are happy. Mark scored, Jamie scored, Russ scored, Robin scored.

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I really enjoyed this film and I thought it was pretty hilarious, although having Hocus Pocus level anti-virginity theme. But a  lot of fun to watch and sure to be a fun film to watch this season.

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous, go to I Came Upon a Shattered Glass Jar and Four Baby Turtles Crawling into a Strange Glowing Ooze: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

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For more ’80s films, go to No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

For more Jim Carrey, go to I Can Be Your Best Friend Or Your Worst Enemy: The Cable Guy (1996)

For more vampires, go to Every Time I Bring a Girl Over, You Try to Eat Her!: Vampires Suck (2010)

For more teen horror films, go to I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

For more Horror-Comedies, go to A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

For more Horror Parodies, go to Monster Movie: Supernatural (2008)

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No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

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And though you fight to stay alive, your body starts to shiver. For no mere mortal can resist the evil of the thriller.

So I know you are probably thinking, a music video? That’s not a horror film.

Majorly

This music video is almost 14 mins and a recommended length for a short film, by the New York Film Academy, is 10-15 mins. That makes this “music video” a short film, and perfect for our countdown.

It was directed by John Landis, most known for his film An American Werewolf in London, and he made the film because he wanted to bring back the theatrical short, you know the short film before the movie. Like Pixar and Disney used to do.

“I saw it as a chance to resurrect a genre that had once been a Hollywood staple. Music videos were new in 1983, and MTV was just two years old.”

They even tried to get an Academy Award nomination for Best Short Live Action, but the Academy didn’t have the same love for it as the rest of the world did. However in 2009 it was selected for the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress, being the first music video in history to receive that honor.

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It takes place in the 1950s and starts off with Michael and his date (Ola Ray) are driving and the car runs out of gas. They get out to walk through the creepy forest:

Stay out of the forest!

Stay out of the forest!

Michael wears a red letterman that looks a lot like a certain jacket from a certain horror film:

He asks his date to be his girlfriend, and she agrees him giving her a ring to symbolize it.

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How sweet.

But then he warns her:

Michael: There’s something I’ve got to tell you.

Michael’s Girl: Yes, Michael?

Michael: I’m not like other guys.

Michael’s Girl: Of course you’re not. That’s why I love you.

Michael: No, I mean I’m different.

Michael’s Girl: What are you talking about?

OhNOthisisgonnabebad

Nothing good is going to come of this.

And then the moon comes out:

attack Wolf Boy Meets World moon full moon night

And he changes into a Werecat!

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And the makeup is pretty creepy. You can thank Rick Baker for that. Even though CGI is probably cheaper, I love seeing what people were able to make with such limited supplies and technology. It is unbelievable.

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Back to the video. So Michael the werecat os chasing his date through the forest. Run girl, run!

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Just as the werecat is about to grab her, we cut to a movie theater. Yes this is a film that Michael and his girlfriend are watching.

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Michael loves the film but his date (Ola Ray) is not into horror films. Such a pity.

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She walks out and Michael, being a good date, follows. As they are outside the music starts up and we get those perfect lyrics that are impossible to hate.

It’s close to midnight and something evil’s lurking
In the dark
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops
Your heart
You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before
You make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between
The eyes
You’re paralyzed

Now at first this is Michael just joking around with his girlfriend, teasing her. But it will soon change.

You hear the door slam and realize there’s nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you’ll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination
But all the while you hear the creature creepin’up behind
You’re out of time

I like how in his dance Michael Jackson throws in a Frankenstein monster move and hints at famous “thrillers”.

Frankenstein

Night creatures call
And the dead start to walk in their masquerade
There’s no escapin’ the jaws of the alien this time (they’re open wide)
This is the end of your life

They’re out to get you, there’s demons closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together
All thru the night I’ll save you from the terrors on the screen,
I’ll make you see

Now in this scene it is very apparent that they are taking there time walking home in not the best conditions. There are no streetlights and a ton of fog. You know what’s coming, something bad.

I'm getting shivers

I’m getting shivers

And then we have the best thing in the world. Just as Michael and his girlfriend go by the cemetery, we hear Vincent Price’s voice. Bringing us:

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And then things begin to rise in the graveyard.

Night of the living dead zombie

Darkness falls across the land
The midnite hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y’awl’s neighbourhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpse’s shell

It’s funny to think that this music video never would have had such an amazing voice in it, I mean aside from Michael Jackson, if it wasn’t for writer Rod Temperton’s wife, Peggy Lipton. Temperton had wanted talking at one part and needed a classic horror actor to give the music the edge he desired. Lipton was a good friend of Price, asked him and he agreed.

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So the rest of the dead are waking up; out of every grave, tomb, and casket.

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The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller
Can you dig it?!

And of course, they head after Michael.

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They are surrounded! Oh no! Michael’s girlfriend looks to Michael for help, but it is too late:

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AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then we have one of the most engaging dances ever to be created/performed.

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They actually had to think long and hard how to create the scene where they dance that wasn’t childish or silly, but kept to the mood of the previous scenes; and I have to say they accomplished it. In fact, before Landis agreed to direct, he made it mandatory that all extras spend two weeks in rehearsals with the choreographer; something that had never been done before. This dance has been such a big part of our culture from Thrill Around the World to being referenced in numerous films and TV shows.

‘Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike
You know it’s thriller, thriller night
You’re fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

That it’s a thriller, thriller night
‘Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try
Girl, this is thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller
Thriller here tonight

Michael’s date is horrified and runs into a creepy old house, with the zombies surrounding her on every side. Very Night of the Living Dead.

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Too bad she doesn’t have a Ben to save her as they start destroying the house to get her.

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Michael grabs her and bam. It turns out they are just in a home, Michael isn’t a zombie….Or is he? We close on Vincent Price’s amazing laugh with  frozen still of Michael’s yellow werecat eyes.

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That was Michael Jackson’s Thriller and it is amazing. From the song, to Jackson, to Price, to Ray, to the dancing, the makeup- I could go on and on but it is just perfect. I mean it gives you everything you want

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Plus a fun dance to do. Check it out for yourself!

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to Every Three Thousand Years, the Stars Align. Unleashing an Army of Monsters: TMNT (2007)

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For more on Michael Jackson, go to Haunted Harmonies of Halloween: Top 5 Songs to Play on Halloween

For more Vincent Price, go to A Man Without a Face: The Bat (1959)

For more zombies, go to Those Aren’t Men They Are the Living Dead: White Zombie (1932)

For more music reviews, go to Shook Me All Night Long

For more ’80s music, go to Back in Black

For more ’80s films, go to I’ll Be Back: The Terminator (1984)

Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

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Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night? Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic? Have you or your family ever seen a spook, specter or ghost? If the answer is “yes,” then don’t wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals…

So I know this is a little unusual to start Horrorfest off with as it isn’t a classic Horror film but instead a horror, comedy, & parody fusion. But it is one of my favorite movies, and as I was unable to review it last year; and adhering to my plan to be a little different and unusual this year; I thought it would be a great opening.

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So I just love everything about Ghostbusters. So much that last year I dressed up as one for Halloween. Sadly they don’t make the original costume (those new ones are ugly), in female form (except the stupid shorty mini skirts), so I had my own made. I even made my own pack.

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Pretty cool right?

Oh yeah!

Oh yeah!

So I can’t remember when I first really watched Ghostbusters. It seems like they have been part of my childhood for as long as I can remember. And I am such a hardcore fan, that I went to the rerelease in theaters, in full costume.

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It was hard picking a quote for the beginning of the review as there are just so many great ones:

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But I eventually went with the most famous one, although it is from the song, rather than the movie.

Anyways, that is enough of my back story for this post, let’s move on to the review!

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So the film was thought up by Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi. They envisioned Ghostbusters throughout the country, time, space, and even using wands.

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After Belushi’s death, the script was a bit reworked, and still sent out. Ivan Reitman liked the idea, but felt there needed to be a lot of changes and hired Harold Ramis to take it on.

Number two of the dream team obtained.

Number two of the dream team obtained.

A lot of the script was ad-libbed, especially Bill Murray’s part. I guess that is what happens when you get a bunch of comedians together.

They asked many people for different roles, but settled on Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray. They wanted Eddie Murphy, but he declined for Beverly Hills Cop. But with his refusal they gained Ernie Hudson.

Number three locked on!

Number four locked on!

They wanted other actors to play Egon Spenglar, but when they just couldn’t find the right fit, they went with Harold Ramis. And the perfect quartet was born.

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So the film starts out in the New York Public library:

Me

But what should be nice time in a quiet space, turns paranormal as library books float throughout the area. And then, no NOT THE CARD CATALOGUE!!!

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Frightened and screaming, the librarian goes running, screaming. I have to admit that this is super creepy, I remember this freaking me out when I first watched this.

We then cut to our logo.

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So Dr. Peter Venkerman (Murray), Dr. Raymond Stanz (Ankroyd), and Dr. Egon Spengler (Raimis); all reside in the Paranormal Studies Department at the University.  Peter is currently working on an experiment with two students.

He is doing an experiment on ESP, but in reality is trying to get in the female student, Jennifer’s, pants.

But before he can make a serious move, Ray interrupts them with the news that there was a ghostly apparition at the library.

Ooooooooooooooooo!

Ooooooooooooooooo!

Now let me start and say how much I love Egon Spenglar. I just love how he is so nerdy, unemotional, and speaks in a monotone at every time and at every moment.

Peter Venkman: “Spengler, are you serious about actually catching a ghost?”

Egon Spengler: “I’m always serious.”

He makes me laugh so hard!

Laughter

They go there and question the librarians, Peter crossing the line a bit, but you know Peter:

“Dr. Peter Venkman: Back off man, I’m a scientist.”

They continue down to the area where they saw the “spector”. They collect ectoplasmic residue, with Peter still upset over missing his date for “ghost boogers”. Ew! All I can think of, being a librarian, is she got it all over the card catalog. It would take FOREVER to fix it all. Aw!!!

Aw, man.

Aw, man.

They continue on when they find symmetrical stacking, and are almost knocked over by a bookcase. (This was actually an accident and ad-libbed.)

They find the ghost, and at at first Peter tries to get her to calm down, sort of romancing her. She shushes them and when Ray tells them to go get her, but then they end up running away.

They head back to the college, Peter disgusted with Ray’s plan

Dr. Peter Venkman: Hee hee hee! “Get her!” That was your whole plan, huh, “get her.” Very scientific.

They return to the college to face bad news. They are fired by the university and the college is shutting that area of study down.

Reality Sucks

Egon takes it in stride like he always does, Peter is never serious, and Ray is heartbroken. But Peter has another idea:

Dr Ray Stantz: Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities. We didn’t have to produce anything! You’ve never been out of college. You don’t know what it’s like out there. I worked in the private sector. They expect results.

Dr. Peter Venkman: For whatever reasons, Ray. Call it fate. Call it luck. Call it karma. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown out of this dump.

Dr Ray Stantz: For what purpose?

Dr. Peter Venkman: To go into business for ourselves.

Dr Ray Stantz: [Ray thinks it over and takes a drink from Peter’s flask] This ecto containment system that Spengler and I have in mind is gonna require a load of bread to capitalize. Where are we gonna get the money?

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They end up mortgaging Ray’s house that was left to him by his parents. From there they go looking for places. Ray settles on an old firehouse

Dr. Peter Venkman: [evaluating a site for their businessWhat do you think, Egon?

Dr. Egon Spengler: I think this building should be condemned. There’s serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it’s completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.

Dr Ray Stantz: Hey. Does this pole still work? [slides down a fireman’s poleWow. This place is great. When can we move in? You gotta try this pole. I’m gonna get my stuff. Hey. We should stay here. Tonight. Sleep here. You know, to try it out.

[Venkman looks at Spengler. Spengler slowly shakes his head. Venkman turns to the real estate agentDr. Peter Venkman: I think we’ll take it.

Ray may be a super scientist, but he is a horrible negotiator. However, he has since made me want an old firehouse to convert.

Meanwhile, classical musician Dana Barrett is just about to discover something strange about her building. At first it seems normal…she is approached by her next door neighbor, Louis (Rick Moranis), who I think is absolutely hilarious. He is nerdy, an accountant, health foodie, and tries so hard to be liked by all.

“Louis: Listen, that reminds me, you shouldn’t leave your TV on so loud when you go out. The creep down the hall phoned the manager.

Dana Barrett: That’s strange, I didn’t realize I’d left it on. [unlocks her door]

Louis: [droning on] Well yeah, you know what I did? I climbed on the ledge and tried to disconnect the cable, but I couldn’t get in, so you know what I did? I turned my TV up real loud too so everyone would think all our TVs had something wrong with them.

Dana Barrett: [abruptly closing her door] Bye, Louis.

Louis: [alone again] Okay, so I’ll see you later, huh? I’ll give you a call! I’m going to go have a shower. [tries to go back into his apartment but he’s locked himself out]

Hmm, very odd, but Dana doesn’t really think about it. In fact she is distracted by the Ghostbusters’ commercial on TV.

I just LOVE this commercial, it is hilarious. You have Ray who is super gung-ho about it, Egon who has no social skills and sounds as if he is reading off a cue card, and Peter who doesn’t give a hoot. Hilarious!

Meanwhile, no one has been coming into Ghostbusters. Their secretary Janine does nothing all day but read.

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Sounds like a good job to me! But of course, the Ghostbusters don’t like it. They want clients!

Dr. Peter Venkman: Janine, any calls?

Janine Melnitz: No.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Any messages?

Janine Melnitz: No.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Any customers?

Janine Melnitz: No, Dr. Venkman.

Dr. Peter Venkman: It’s a good job, huh? [Janine smilesType something, will you? We’re paying for this stuff! And don’t stare at me, you got the bug-eyes…[pauseJanine, sorry about the bug-eyes thing. I’ll be in my office.

Janine enjoys the job for more than being able to read all day, she is in love with Egon. But as he is a typical nerd he has no clue.

Janine Melnitz: You’re very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.

Dr. Egon Spengler: Print is dead.

Janine Melnitz: Oh, that’s very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I’m too intellectual but I think it’s a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play racquetball. Do you have any hobbies?

Dr. Egon Spengler: I collect spores, molds, and fungus.

Meanwhile, back to Dana. She has encountered her first foray with the supernatural. Her fridge has another world in it and is talking about Zhul. When she unpacks her groceries they are flying everywhere, the eggs cooking on the counter.

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She decides to see the Ghostbusters, but is a little weirded out by how unprofessional they seem. I mean they are sitting around eating Cheez-Its and Chunky bars.

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They check her out and when it appears that she has nothing do do with it; Egon decides to look up what Zhul means, Ray sets out to the Hall of Records to see if it has anything to do with the building; and Peter decides to head to the apartment.

Of course, Peter

Of course, Peter

While there he tries to put the moves on Dana, but she is too tough and is taking nothing from him. Peter looks the apartment over, not really knowing what he is doing, and there appears to be nothing supernatural at all.

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Later the crew are hanging out eating, and knowing that this is the end if they don’t get a paying client soon. Luckily they are saved by a call to get a ghost at the Sedgwick Hotel.

Janine Melnitz: [answers the phone] Hello, Ghostbusters… Yes, of course they’re serious… You do?… You have?… No kidding! Just gimme the address… Oh sure, they will be totally discreet. Thank you! [hangs upWE GOT ONE!

Double double yay

They head out to the hotel, the manager not at all pleased with how loud and brash they are. They pretend to be exterminators, but while they are heading up they realize they have never tested anything out.

Dr Ray Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven’t had a successful test of this equipment.

Dr. Egon Spengler: I blame myself.

Dr. Peter Venkman: So do I.

Dr Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

Oh geez

Oh geez

They turn everything on, but step away just in case the person blows up.

Please don't destroy us.

Please don’t destroy us.

Luckily no one dies and they go searching for the ghost, destroying everything along the way.

Egon just cracks me up, I cannot get enough of him.

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This is when the Ghostbusters first meet Slimer. Now I know a lot of people love him, but I have to admit I have always hated Slimer. I thought he was gross and disgusting, and such. Ugh, ultimate torture to be slimed by him.

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They do manage to get themselves together enough to capture the little booger.

After this, things start hitting the big time for the Ghostbusters, with them getting calls out of the wazoo.

This causes them to need extra help, hiring Winston Zeddermore, (Ernie Hudson). He’s just a regular guy like us all, and I think that makes him an even more enjoyable character. Just your average joe caught up in the paranormal.

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So in Egon’s research, he has found out some things on the architect of the building. He was involved with the occult, and a worshipper of Gozer, Zhul being a key part in this.

Peter decides that with this extra man, he can go see Dana; flirting with her.

Uh no.

Uh, no.

She’s not really interested, but does play along, agreeing to dinner.

Back at headquarters, they discover someone from the EPA, Walter Peck. He wants to study everything, but Peter pushes him off,  Peck threatening to come back with a court order.

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If that wasn’t enough, Egon thinks they might be having a problem with the spirit world.

Dr. Egon Spengler: I’m worried, Ray. It’s getting crowded in there and all my data points to something big on the horizon.

Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, big?

Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s sample, it would be a Twinkie… thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.

Winston Zeddemore: That’s a big Twinke!

Meanwhile back at Dana’s place, Louis is having a party. He invites Dana, and is heartbroken to hear that she already has plans. She heads into her apartment and gets on the phone when she is attacked.

This scene used to creep me out so much as a kid, and it still is 100% freaky! Can you imagine having that happen to you?

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Meanwhile, at Louis’ party he invited just clients in order to write the whole thing off. His one date gets really bored, but he convinces her to stay. I can’t understand why he is trying so hard to win Dana when he has this blonde, supermodel type that loves him. People are weird

Anyways, Louis ends up being attacked and possessed by the other gargoyle dog, Zhul’s mate.

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When Peter returns for his date, their is no Dana, but Zhul. Zhul is the lock and is looking for the “keymaster” to wield “his key” and unlock her “gate”, allowing Gozer to walk about and take control of the Earth. I have to give them points for slipping that right past the kids. I never realized what Zhul was asking Peter until I was much older.

So Zhul wont let Peter in until he says he is the keymaster. And to be honest, I think if I was Peter I wouldn’t want to go in there. Possessed Dana is so creepy!

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Peter calms her down by shooting her up with some drugs, weird how he was just carrying that around on his date…

Suspicious and kinda creepy.

Suspicious and kinda creepy.

So possessed Louis is wandering around looking for the gatekeeper. I love when he talks to the horse, just hilarious. The cops catch him and drop him off at Ghostbusters headquarters so they can deal with him.

To make things even more intense then dealing with two possessed people, a building that is a gateway for some serious paranormal activity, the dreaded Peck arrives. He wants to shut the grid off, and no convincing can stop him.

What a jerk! He doesn’t have any clue what will happen next and he does this.

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This causes a HUGE explosion, destroys the Ghostbusters Headquarters, sends Louis off as he has seen his sign, releases ghosts, and wakens Dana who destroys a section of her building to reach the top.

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All are arrested and while waiting, look at a blueprint, trying to get a plan together.

The are taken out of jail and are sent to see the mayor. Hopefully they can plead their case and get out of there.

Meanwhile, Louis and Dana have met up and the key has opened the lock.

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At the mayor’s office the Ghostbusters, Peck, and the mayor argue again and again. The mayor decides to side with the Ghostbusters and they head out.

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Everyone is cheering for them as they mug it up for the crowd, but soon they grow unahappy as they have to climb twenty-two flights of stairs to reach Dana’s apartment, the gateway.

Argh!!!

Argh!!!

They find a staircase and climb up. There they find Dana and Louis who have turned into the gargoyle dogs. Their transformation opens the temple doors and Gozer comes out.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Go get her, Ray!

Dr Ray Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian… good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.

Dr. Peter Venkman: [Sarcastically] That oughta do it. Thanks very much, Ray.

Gozer: [to Ray] Are you a God?

Dr Ray Stantz[Ray looks at Peter, who nonchalantly nods yes] No.

Gozer: Then… DIE! [Lightning flies from her fingers, driving the Ghostbusters to the edge of the roof and almost off; people below scream]

Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES”!

Dr. Peter Venkman: All right! This chick is TOAST!

They try to destroy her

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But she is too fast for them. Gozer has them choose the form that the destructor will be in. They all close their mind, buuut……..

And they save the day getting Dana and Louis out.

This is just a fantastic movie, hilarious, fun, and creepy, all the elements you want in a Halloween film. And of course that fantastic song. I cannot say enough just how awesome this film is.

And just a little extra fun!

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Well that’s our opening review! I hope you all enjoy it and keep coming back for more! And of course, a facebook banner. I make them every year and use them all October long!

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For more on Ghostbusters, go to When You Least Expect It

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For more ghosts, go to She Cries in the Night: The Screaming Skull (1958)

For more horror-comedy, go to I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

For more horror-parody, go to A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

For more Nostalgia Critic, go to Return of the Fandom

Back to the ’80s

So you all know how much I love the ’80s, right?

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What can I say? I love the movies…

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The music…

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I even like the fashion…

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Yep, I love the ’80s.

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So as I mentioned in a previous post that this is my birthday month, my friend and I had a party (as are birthdays fall near each other), and what better theme than to go back to the ’80s.

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Yep we had a Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man cake…

An ’80s trivia game…

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I dressed up in my Halloween costume, as a Ghostbuster

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While my friend was a rocker

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And we all had a totally awesome time. Man I miss the ’80s.

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For more of my love of the ’80s, go to We’re in the Future: Good-bye 2015 

or She’s Still Preoccupied With 1985

Back in Black

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Back in Black by AC/DC

So let’s see what can I say about this song? The lyrics are just whatever, it is the music that sells me. Starting with that opening riff and carrying through the rest of the song, just amazing!

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And of course this song makes me think of Supernatural as it has played quite a few times in the show’s run.

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Even though I have no idea really what’s being said, I like listening to it and attempting to sing along. Sometimes you need some good ol’ ’80s rock!

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For more music I love, go to It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me

For more AC/DC, go to T.N.T.

For more Supernatural, go to A Real Life Saver

For more ’80s music, go to Haunted Harmonies of Halloween: Top 5 Songs to Play on Halloween

We’re in the Future: Good-bye 2015

So you all know what I think of 2015

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I decided that as I started my year with:

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it was only fitting that after I ended my year with Back to the Future as well.

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So in ending 2015, I decided that I’m going to list everything that Back to the Future II (BTTF II) got right about 2015

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Other Fuel

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So while we don’t fly in our cars or through space yet, (Yet I say, yet) there is another method of fuel that has there is another method of fuel besides gas that is gaining popularity, electric cars. Not popular you say? Do you remember when I wrote a post on my car breaking down in San Francisco and we couldn’t find a single parking spot as all were reserved for electric cars? I’m telling you, they are really pushing those things.

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Weather Watch

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While in BTTF II future, we actually control the weather, which of course is not happening now, there are two things that BTTD II was spot on about. First, that we would be able to get weather information instantaneous (which we do on the internet/phones) and that we could actually get that information from our watches.

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Laserdisc Losers

Record not a laserdisc, I know.

Record not a laserdisc, I know.

When Marty and Doc first settle down the alley in the future you can see a bunch of laserdiscs wrapped up and ready to picked up by the trash men. Back in the ’80s, laserdisc weren’t super popular, but still seen as the way of the future. However, BTTF II knew they wouldn’t go far and now most of the people alive today have no clue what they are.

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Self-Lacing Nike Shoes

One of those self-fulling prophecy’s. Nike saw it and decided to make it.

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2015 Fashion

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I was going to make these all separate, but decided it would be easier to put them all together.

*One Size Fits All*

While we don’t have the awesomeness of buying clothes and pulling just one tab to make it fit us perfecctly, BTTF II did get one thing right; the one-size-fits all craze. Now I don’t know how popular this was in the ’80s, but in today’s world it has become a thing.

*Caps Lock*

Now what is it called when you do something before it was cool, in a future before it happened? I don’t know, but that rainbow dipped cap Marty wears in 2015, it is something you see in stores today, that the hipsters would be wearing all over. If you took that and added a triangle or a quote, someone would even use it as their phone’s wallpaper

*Workout Wear as Regular Clothes*

Everywhere you look in this film people are wearing workout wear as they do their regular thing. This was happening in the ’80s, but not by people of all ages like today. Yep, from older men and women; to middle aged mothers, teens, preteens, and kids; wearing workout wear when you have intention of actually working out has become a thing. It is acceptable and BTTF II caught onto it way before we thought it was okay.

*Eye Makeup*

BTTF II really tried to go spacey on their mkeup, but they actually hit the nail on the head. For some reason I am signed up for Teen Vogue, and what they keep perpetuating is crazy makeup.

*Two Tone **

One of Griff’s gang sports a highlighted pompadour, something all the guys are doing these days.

*Studded Out Shoes*

Biff wears them in BTTF II, and today you go anywhere and it is like studzilla. 

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Endless Remakes/Sequels

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While remakes and sequels were happening in the ’80s it was nothing like it is today. I mean look at the Spider-man series; made in the 2000s, remade in 2010s, going to be remade again?

Or what about the Halloween series? There is like 9 already! Or Friday the 13th

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Annoying Ads & Persevering Pop Ups

So as Marty is walking along, everywhere he goes ads appear; Jaws 19, Vote For Mayor, etc. Sound familiar? It seems like today we are being constantly hit by them; going beyond TV and radio, to the internet, youtube, and even Amazon.

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I Love the ’80s

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When Marty steps into the Cafe ’80s he sees a palozza of ’80s love, which has defintely been going on today. Part of it has to do with the fact that 1985 turned 30 this year, but the 2015 has had some serious ’80s love in film; fashion, & more; it is clear we are just as gaga as they thought we would be. Although no Cafe ’80s yet, sadly.

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“You Have To Use Your Hands”

BTTF II called it when they said 2015 would be  world in which you didn’t have to use your hands to play video games. While some still require it, BTTF II dreamed up the Wii and Kinect long before those companies did.

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Hoverboards

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While they aren’t really like the ones in the film, more along the lines of a skateboard, we still technically have them. For me, https://www.youtube.com/embed/vbOWr7y0cT4” target=”_blank”>I’m waiting until we actually levitate.

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News in a Nanosecond

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When Griff & Gang crash into the clock tower, you see a flying computer with the words USA Today on the side that captures the event. Boy was that prophetic! First today most newspapers aren’t run as they used to. They don’t have as many reporters, choosing to pay for the associated press and get their stories that way, outmoding people. Also news is now instantaneous. Things happen, and they are posted on the web, pics and videos. Also computers are the way most get their news, a lot of papers don’t hand out physical copies as much as they used to.

Not to mention that with vlogging and blogging, the news is taking a very different form.

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Books No Longer Paper

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So when Marty purchases the almanac in order to place all those bets, the saeslady mentions “back when books were printed on paper.” Now it is true that in almost every science fiction book or film you read/see, they get rid of paper books, it still is eerily to see them talk about it, knowing that in 2015 books will be available in another format.

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A Delorean? Haven’t Seen One of Those In…

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Sadly the Delorean went out of business in the early ’80s, before this film was made. And because of that, you didn’t see them anywhere. However, in the ’90s the DeLorean company was made to bring it back, but it still is a rare sight.

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Check Out the Telly

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Let’s talk about the TV they show in BTTF II. First did you notice they have large flat screen TVs that you in today’s stores? Yep, back in the day of the bulky square TVs, BTTF II saw a thiner, wider, version coming along the horizon.

They have the ability to watch relaxing scenes of scenery, just like you can today. Think of Netflix’s Christmas log/fireplace.

They also have the ability to watch six different channels/screen at once. Just like Direct TV is always showing in their ads.

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Google Glasses

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At the table eating, you’ll see that both Marty Jr. and Marlene both have glasses that give them the ability to search the web, receive phone calls, and they have to do voice commands. Sound like anything you’ve heard of? Like Google Glasses.

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Phone More Interesting Than People

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When you watch the film you’ll see that as the McFly clan gathers around to eat their rehydrated pizza, the kids are all focused on their google glasses not caring about actually conversing with anyone. The only ones who are talking, are those that were young in the ’50s and ’80s, the older generation. Sound familiar? I see that everyday.

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Skype You Later

While it is true that most future films, books, and TV shows tend to have these kind of communication; BTTF II was spot on when it said we would have the technology to communicate with people face to face when we call. Whether you use Skype, Facetime, Snapchat, etc.; BTTF II knew what was what.

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For me 2015 was a great year as I was finally able to live one of my dreams, see all three Back to the Futures on the big screen. But whether it was all that you wished or not exactly a dream year, I wish you all a happy new year, and may this one be a great new start!

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Back to the Future

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For more on Back to the Future, go to Back to the Supernatural

For more on 2015, go to Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Roads

She’s Still Preoccupied With 1985

So I love the ’80s!

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I’m not even from that decade but love it as much as one who is.

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And one song that describes my feelings is 1985.

Come on kids, I can think of worse things then to be stuck in 1985. The ’80s rule!

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And as this year marks the 30th anniversary of 1985, let’s review just how awesome a year it was.

And I truly mean it

80s rule!

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On January 8th, Journey rereleased Only the Young which bounced to the top of the charts.

For more Journey, go to Any Way You Want It

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On February 4th, Bug Hall was born. Bug Hall became a huge star for us girls living in the ’90s. He was extremely cute, and still looks good today. He starred in The Little Rascals as Alfalfa, as Adam Szalinski in Honey We Shrunk Ourselves. Where he really became famous to tweens was in the show Bug Juice, then going on to be Jack Downey in Disney’s DCOM Get a Clue. From there I kind of lost track of him, but no doubt he was very influential to my childhood.

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On February 9th,  David Gallagher was born. He was in Richie Rich’s Christmas Wish and tons of TV shows from CSI: Miami, Criminal Minds, to even Bones. But what he is most famous for and in where he most affected my childhood? As Simon Camden in 7th Heaven. When I was growing up watching this show I had the hugest crush on him and just loved him. I have yet to review it for my Life as a Fangirl posts, but it is definitely coming soon.

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On February 15th, The Breakfast Club was released into theaters and finds a place in our hearts. I already wrote a long post on it in Don’t You Forget About Me.

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For even more on The Breakfast Club, go to I Can See Your Beauty: The Breakfast Club (1985)

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On February 20th, Simple Minds released Don’t You Forget About Me. 

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On February 25th, Tears for Fears releases Shout.

For more on Tears for Fears, go to In Love With the ’80s (Pink Tux to the Prom)

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In April, Take on Me by a-ha was released in the U.S. It became one of their most famous songs.

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On April 12th, Girls Just Want to Have Fun starring Sarah Jessica Parker, was released. Parker plays an army brat who loves to dance and competes for a spot on TV as part of a Chicago dance crew. In this fun film she has to work with a partner that is her total opposite, and against a wealthy manipulative girl.

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On May 30th, Huey Lewis & the News recorded The Power of Love, the song they wrote for the film Back to the Future.

For more on Huey Lewis & the News, go to But It’s Alright

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In June, Guns ‘N Roses debuted as a band. I love, love, love them. My favorite songs from this group are Sweet Child o’ Mine, Welcome to the Jungle, and Paradise City.

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On June 6th, Good Enough by Cyndi Lauper is released as a marketing tool for the film The Goonies, of which Lauper was musical director and head of the soundtrack.

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On June 7th, The Goonies was released in theaters. This film follows a ragtag group, “the Goonies” as they hope to find hidden treasure in order to save their families’ homes.

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On June 28th, Pale Rider directed by and starring Clint Eastwood premiered in theaters. Aw Clint! He’s so dreamy!

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On July 3rd; Back to the Future opens in theaters and ends up being the highest grossing film of 1985 in the United States and the first film in the successful franchise. Of course I had to write a post on it, Back in Time: Happy 30th Anniversary Back to the Future.

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For even more on Back to the Future, go to Fanning All Over the Place

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On July 20th, John Francis Daly was born. He has starred in quite a few things, but to me will always be Dr. Sweets from Bones.

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On July 24th, The Black Cauldron, the film based on Lloyd Alexander’s The Chronicles of Prydain series, makes its theatrical debut.

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For more on The Black Cauldron, go to A Hidden Wonder 

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On August 1st, Jefferson Starship changes their name to Starship and releases their hit We Built This City.

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On August 9th, Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure is released and is easily one of the funniest movies of my childhood.

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On September 3rd, the wreck of the RMS Titanic is located by a joint American-French expedition.

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On September 7th, St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion) by John Parr is released.

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On September 24th Growing Pains premiered. I’ve already written about my love for it in a previous post, Fandom Love, but this was one of my all-time favorite shows growing up.

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On October 19th the first Blockbuster opened. I don’t care if this is the age of Netflix and streaming. I miss going to the store and picking out films from the really old to new releases.

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In November of 1985, for the first time Big Bird’s thought to be imaginary friend, Aloysius Snuffleupagus was shown. Snuffleupagus was always one of my favs.

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On November 13th, one of Foreigner’s greatest songs was released, I Want to Know What Love Is. This is my song.

For more on Foreigner, go to Old Fandoms and New Fancies

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On November 18th, the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes debuts in 35 newspapers in the United States.

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On December 1st, Anne of Green Gables film, based on the beloved children’s book, was released. I love the book and this film as it was a perfect adaption. Miss you Jonathan Crombie and your perfect depiction of Gilbert Blythe.

Anne&Gilbert

For more on Anne of Green Gables, go to Imagination

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On December 13th, Clue was released in theaters, with its three different endings. I haven’t reviewed as of yet for Horrorfest, but it is definitely on my list.

Clue

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Let’s take it away with 1985!

Debbie just hit the wall
She never had it all
One Prozac a day
Husband’s a CPA
Her dreams went out the door
When she turned twenty four
Only been with one man
What happened to her plan?

She was gonna be an actress
She was gonna be a star
She was gonna shake her ass
On the hood of Whitesnake’s car
Her yellow SUV is now the enemy
Looks at her average life
And nothing has been alright since

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she’s uncool
Cause she’s still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985

Woohoohoo
(1985)
Woohoohoo

She’s seen all the classics
She knows every line
Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink
Even Saint Elmo’s Fire
She rocked out to Wham
Not a big Limp Bizkit fan
Thought she’d get a hand
On a member of Duran Duran

Where’s the mini-skirt made of snake skin
And who’s the other guy that’s singing in Van Halen
When did reality become T.V.
Whatever happened to sitcoms, game shows
(on the radio was)

Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she’s uncool
Cause she’s still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985

Woohoohoo

She hates time make it stop
When did Mötley Crüe become classic rock?
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
Please make this stop, stop
Stop!
And bring back

Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she’s uncool
Cause she’s still preoccupied
With 1985

Woohoohoo

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV (woohoohoo)
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she’s uncool
Cause she’s still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985

1985-vector-pack

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For more ’80s music, go to Rock You Like a Hurricane 

For more ’80s films, go to I’m Going Down the Tubes: Making the Grade (1984)

For more on anniversaries, go to Year of the Anniversaries