In the Spa House of the Spirits: Spirited Away (2001)

It is Time for Our Annual Disney and Animated Film

So this film isn’t considered a “Halloween” movie by some, but I always think of it as one because when they rerelease the Studio Ghibli films in theaters every month, they always do this one in October. Not to mention it has spirits in it.

I think I have seen it maybe three times in theaters? I forget. Anyways, I love this movie.

I first heard of Studio Gibli because my friend was really into the films. We watched Kiki’s Delivery Service and My Neighbor Totoro. Then when I was in college my best friend and roommate had a bunch of his films and we watched Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle, Castle in the Sky, and Princess Mononoke.

I absolutely loved Howl’s Moving Castle and bought it- making my nieces watch it, (they love it now too), and Spirited Away.  And as I still needed a Disney film and an animated film (yearly Horrorfest tradition) I thought it was perfect!

So the film is Japanese, and then voice dubbed in English for the states. There are a few differences in phrases and terms, mostly because there are things you won’t understand if you don’t know Japanese culture.

So the film starts out with little Chihiro (Daveigh Chase) and her parents are driving to their new home. Chihiro is very upset to have to leave her friends and family.

Her father decides to go down a shortcut, which leads him through an old abandoned amusement park and the world of Kami (spirits) of Japanese Shinto folklore.

Her parents see the food left out for the spirits and eat it. Oh no-you aren’t supposed to do that. Being of Mexican descent, I know you never, ever eat the food for the dead/spirits. Remember that Lizzie McGuire episode?

So of course her parents have something bad happen to them, they turn into pigs and run off!

Poor 10-year old Chihiro, what is she going to do now?

Luckily, she is saved by a young boy, Haku (Jason Marsden [he played Goofy’s son Max], who takes her to the bathhouse. He gives her some food to eat so she can remain in the spirit world.

Haku: Don’t be afraid, I just wanna help you.

Chihiro: No… no… no… no… no…

Haku: Open your mouth and eat this. If you don’t eat food from this world, you’ll disappear.

He tells her to see the boiler man Kamaji, and ask for a job. He will have to give her one if she asks and then she can stay in the world, and look for her parents. He refuses, but does claim her as his granddaughter.

Kamaji sends her to the owner of the spahouse, the witch Yubaba. Yubaba tries to scare her off, but as Chihiro prevails, she gets hired on and signs a contract. Yubaba takes her name and changes it to Sen. Haku finds her later and gives her the card from her friend with her real name. He warns her, don’t forget you name or else you can never leave.

I liked that, as in fairy tales that is a common theme with witches and warlocks, Rumplestilskin-your name is powerful.

No one likes Sen as she is still human. She gets paired with Lin (Susan Egan, who you’ll recognize the voice as the same actress who was Meg in Hercules). Lin is unhappy as no one wants to help her as well, now that she is paired with Sen. Yubaba makes things difficult by giving them the hardest tasks as she wants to break little Sen.

One night, Sen notices something outside when she goes to close the doors. She spots No-Face, which is not supposed to come into the spa (but she doesn’t know that). She leaves the door open as she gets called away by Lin to take care of the stink spirit. After she leaves, No-Face comes in.

That’s not good.

They need serious help to clean up this one, but the guy who gives the special spa bath salts won’t give her anything. However, No Face grabs her a bunch of them. As they clean the stink spirit, Sen realizes that he needs more than just a bath.

Lin: Sen! Sen, where are you?

Chihiro: [from beside the Stink Spirit] Over here!

Lin: Don’t worry… stay right where you are, I’m coming to get you! You’re gonna be fine, I won’t let him hurt you.

Chihiro: I think he needs help! It feels like there’s a thorn in his side!

She frees him and the creature is horrifying looking to me, creeps me out, but he’s the nice spirit of a polluted river and gives Sen a magic emetic dumpling and gold to everyone else.

All are happy, but Sen feels a little distressed. She misses her family and can’t find Haku anywhere.

Lin warns her to stay away frpm Haku, that he is evil and works for the witch Yubaba-don’t trust him. But Sen is convinced that Haku is good.

Meanwhile No-Face has made fake gold and has been treated like a king in the spa. He demands food and tips well, eatign workers when they keep him from reaching Sen.

Meanwhile, Haku has returned from his mission (in the shape of a dragon), and is attacked by paper Shikigami. Haku and Sen try to fight them off, but one morphs into Yubaba’s twin sister, Zeniba, and reveals he stole a seal from her.

That’s not good.

Yubaba’s giant crazy baby Boh captures Sen and doesn’t want her to leave. He wants her to stay and play with her, threatening to break her arm and force her to stay-this baby always scared me.

On second thought-with this baby in it, it is a horror movie.

Zeniba’s image does not like how the baby speaks to her and turns him into a mouse and makes a hologram baby. Haku then attacks her shikigami and that destroys the Zeniba hologram. He’s badly injured and falls down to the boiler room with Sen and Boh.

Kamaji diagnoses him as having eaten some pretty powerful magic. Sen gets the great idea to give him some of  the dumpling she got earlier. He coughs up the seal and a worm, which Sen destroys. Boh and Kamaji’s soot creatures reenact it.

She has to travel to Zeniba and take the seal. Kamaji gives her his roll of tickets to take the spirit train and she is about to head out-but is stopped by the antics of No-Face. No-Face has been going crazy trying to find Sen and eating everything!

Okay I was an adult when I saw this but he is so crazy and creepy looking, he has ALWAYS terrified me. He’s like the creepy blob thing in Phantoms.

She gives him the rest of the dumpling and he spits everything up. Sen leaves and No Face goes with them. Sen, No Face, Boh, and Yubaba’s crow all travel on the train to see Zeniba.

When they reach Zeniba they are surprised to discover that she is so kind and nice. She puts them to work, No Face weaves and the others help out.

They then have a tea party,

And Zeniba reveals she can’t do anything to help her, her parents, or Haku. Chihiro must do it.

Zeniba: I’d like to help you, dear, but there’s nothing I can do. It’s one of our rules here. You’ve got to take care of your parents and that dragon boyfriend of yours, on your own.

Chihiro: But, um, can’t you even give me a hint? I feel like Haku and I met, a long time ago.

Zeniba: In that case, it’s easy. Nothing that happens is ever forgotten, even if you can’t remember it.

Haku wakes up and goes after them. No-Face stays behind while Chihiro, Boh, and the little crow decide to return to the spa house. Sen frees him when she gives him his name back.

Chihiro: Haku, listen. I just remembered something from a long time ago, I think it may help you. Once, when I was little, I dropped my shoe into a river. When I tried to get it back I fell in. I thought I’d drown but the water carried me to shore. It finally came back to me. The river’s name was the Kohaku river. I think that was you, and your real name is Kohaku River.

Haku: You did it, Chihiro! I remember! I was the spirit of the Kohaku River.

Chihiro: A river spirit?

Haku: My name is the Kohaku River.

Chihiro: They filled in that river, it’s all apartments now.

Haku: That must be why I can’t find my way home, Chihiro, I remember you falling into the river, and I remember your little pink shoe.

Chihiro: So, you’re the one who carried me back to shallow water, you saved me… I knew you were good!

But not all is taken care of. Chihiro must now past the test to pick her parents from the pigs or be stuck there forever.

Hmmm…

She and her parents are free and leave. Her parents are groggy as if they have just woken from a dream, and they find their car covered in vines and such as if it has been sitting out there for a long time. I wonder how long they were in the spirt world? Does her father still have a job?

Hmmm

They head to their home and Chihiro’s father asks is she is nervous about going to a new school. After all Chihiro has been through school will not be a problem.

This is an absolutely adorable film, although it does have some creepy moments in it. No-Face,

Spooky…

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more animated films, go to Basil of Baker Street: The Great Mouse Detective (1986)

For more Disney films, go to One Who Was Both Hero and Villain: Maleficent (2014)

For more ghosts, go to To All the Ghouls I’ve Loved Before: The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo (1985)

The Cruel Giggling Ghoul: Teen Titans Go (2016)

So you know what that means: Horror TV episodes Tuesday

I know this is a little odd, TV episodes on a Tuesday instead of Friday as I’ve been doing for the past few years?

Help me! I’m confused!

Well this year I decided to do something special for Friday the 13th, which means I can’t put my reviews of TV shows on Friday.

So instead we will be reviewing TV episodes on Tuesdays, TV Tuesdays.

Now I HATE Teen Titans Go.

I grew up watching the original Teen Titans and it was hilarious, fun, serious, dramatic, etc. Simply amazing! In this one they don’t even fight crime!!!

Huh?

Superheroes who don’t fight crime????!!!!!!!!

Yeah it is about them doing mundane “normal” people things or redoing movies/TV shows.

And none of the episodes really go together in a sequence.

I don’t usually care for it, but this particular episode was pretty funny.

So the gang: Robin, Starfire, Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg are headed to a nearby amusement park to see Lebron James perform. Right away I notice Beast Boy shapeshifting into a dog and Raven wearing something she doesn’t typically have on.

There are five in the group-two girls, two boys, and an animal (Beast Boy). It is clear what they are parodying:

Yes the gang of superheroes have come to the amusement park only to see it empty of customers. There is a giggling two-headed ghoul, who is awfully reminiscent of the Creeper:

It is really silly. You have the cameo of the famous celebrity, Lebron James, and him popping up everywhere dribbling. Which reminds me of the Harlem Globetrotters episode.

Robin gets to be Fred going off with Starfire (Daphne) and Raven (Velma).

And then Cyborg and Beast Boy do all the silly dress-up, out maneuvering, eating, etc that Shaggy and Scooby-Doo would do.

Yep it gave you all the stuff you loved of the original, poking fun at it in a good way. And who does it turns out to be? You have to watch and find out.

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to China is Here Mr. Burton. The Chang Sing, The Wing Kong, They’ve Been Fighting for Centuries: Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

For more on Scooby-Doo, go to To Kill a Fangirl

For more superheroes, go to I Always Knew and I Didn’t Care: Usual Suspects, Young Justice (2012)

For more parodies, go to I Don’t Want to Be a Vampire. I’m a Day Person: Once Bitten (1985)

For more TV episodes, go to The Hash-Slinging Slasher: Graveyard Shift, Spongebob Squarepants (2002)

I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

buffytheVampireslayer1992

Buffy, you’re the guy. You are the chosen guy.

Right. I’m the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping.

 So I’m sure a lot of you are surprised. What Buffy the Vampire Slayer is this? Well before we had this:

Go here to see which you belong in

We had this:

Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer

In 1992, Joss Whedon’s idea of a Californian cheerleader finding out she was actually the vampire slayer of her generation, came to theaters. Only one problem, Whedon HATED it.

HateEverythingthewomen

In fact he hated it so much, that he was reported to walk off set one day and never come back.

ouch Hermione

Five years later, Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series came out, one that stayed true to his “vision”.

So What Went Wrong?

Apparently the screenwriters felt that Whedon’s story was too dark and depressing. They wanted it to be more of a horror-parody comedy, kind of like Heathers with vampires instead of a homicidal maniac. Whedon wasn’t interested in that, as you can tell with his much darker TV series.

Joss Whedon to a T

Joss Whedon to a T

So Is this Film Bad?

Let’s get down to the review and find out:

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

The film starts out with a historical piece. A medieval woman who has the birthmark (a mole), proving she is the Vampire Slayer of this generation. We switch from a very serious moment of her asking to “become the blade”.

BraveheartVictorySwordinAir

And fighting Vampires.

Dracula

And then we switch to Los Angeles and a group of cheerleaders chanting.

vampireslayerbuffy

And Miss Buffy Summers, cheerleader extraordinaire, fashionista, and a total valley girl.

Say What

Yeah, that is pretty much the essence of the movie. They try to pin together opposites. And is it horrible? No. I love it. It is so quirky and funny. And come on, a cheerleader by day and vampire slayer ay night? That’s awesome.

indiana_jonesoh_yesyeah

So as I’m reading the credits and as I have seen this movie before I didn’t think think I would see anything important, but then Paul Reubens…wait, what?!

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Pee-Wee is in a teen film? Pee-Wee Herman is in a vampire film? PEE-WEE?!!! PEE-WEE??!!! PEE-WEE HERMAN is in a TEEN VAMPIRE FILM?

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

How could I have missed that? Huh. And Hilary Swank? Ugh! I hate her. Ever since she ruined the Karate Kid series.

ugh

This was supposed to be her first film, so maybe she won’t be too bad. So Buffy and the gang go to the mall, shopping!

fashion-show-

And there is something you might notice in this scene. While this movie came out in 1992, we hadn’t completely crossed over from the ’80s. You can kind of see it in the stonewash, abundance of leather, and in the “gothic” clothes of the vampire and “uncool” crowd, but most of it looks like this:

80s

And I LOVE IT!

Anyways, so at the mall the girls are shopping when Buffy spots this totally rad jacket. And let me tell you, Buffy has a great sense of style

StyleMarcJacobs

Her friend Kimberly (Hilary Swank), and let me just stop her and say that unless you are a pink ranger, having the name Kimberly means you are EVIL. I don’t know why, it just seems to be a trait that carries on with a name.

you're evil

Anyways, she convinces her that the jacket is ugly and so yesterday.

How rude

When she is not shopping, she spends her time out with her jocky boyfriend, Jeffrey.

Jeffery is on the basketball team and one day after practice, his group splits up. Jeffery is heading over to hang out with Buffy, while two of the other guys go about town, and the last one, Robert heads home. And the route he chooses goes right through an abandoned amusement park.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

Come on dude! You are going to go through an abandoned AMUSEMENT PARK????!!!!!! You are just asking to be killed.

doyouwanttodie

And of course, he gets attacked by a Vampire and turned. Good-bye Robert.

Good-bye

Good-bye

So Jeffery is alright, but not altogether that interesting and handsome. Sorry dude, Luke Perry of the “uncoolness squad” is much better looking.

Luke Perry plays Pike, a leather wearing, motorcycle driving, mechanic. He lies above the garage that he works at. He is very dissatisfied with life him, only having one friend, Bennie (wonder if it is a nickname after the drugs, wouldn’t be surprised if it was), played by David Arquette (aw David, just can’t keep you out of Horrorfest). The boys spend most of their time drinking and making fun of those richer than them.

HateEverythingthewomen

We then jump back to historical times so that we can get more of a background of Lothos. Lothos is the head Vampire that has destroyed every prior slayer. He is over 800 years old and has the power to hypnotize his enemies.

Spoke too soon

So for Buffy everything is going as usual. The only thing she has to worry about is the senior dance.

Buffy: [Trying to come up with an issues-related theme for their school dance] The environment.

Nicole: The homelesses?

Kimberly: [to Nicole] Oh, please.

Jennifer: Are there any good sicknesses that aren’t too depressing?

Buffy: Guys. The environment. I’m telling you, it’s totally key. The earth is in terrible shape, we could all die, and besides, Sting’s doing it.

You know that actually sounds difficult. From being on my high school’s prom comittee, I know that it is already hard enough trying to get the committee to come up with a theme and work on decorations and such. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to throw a “socially conscious” dance.

idon'tgotthis

Buffy & co run into the uncoolness squad and there is definitely one thing this movie did wrong, they made the “undesirable” guys, undesirable. I mean come on, there is a formula to this thing! They are supposed to be secretly charming and adorable. Not pigs and boring because they have zero character development!

Stop stop it now!

Both Pike and Bennie are super drunk and start hitting on the girls, incredibly gross style. Bennie even acts as if he is going to whip out his junk, and Buffy slices it.

escalatedquickly

Turns out it was just a hotdog, but it just goes to show you that Buffy is intense. I would not want to mess with her.

So one night as Benny is going home, he gets attacked by a vampire and turned. He goes to the window and tries to get Pike to come out and join him, but even in his alcohol induced state, Pike can tell something is not right.

Benny: Let me in, Pike. I’m *hungry*!

Pike: Go home, Ben.

Benny: [whining] C’mon I’m hungry.

Pike: You’re floating! C’mon, man, get away from here!

uh-no-gif

Pike can tell that things aren’t right and tries to leave the city, thinking anywhere is better than here. As he is fleeing town, he luckily is saved by a creepy dude.

You look like a pervert but I guess thank you?

You look like a pervert but I guess thank you?

 So life is going good for Buffy, until the same perverted-looking, old, creep comes to kidnap her.

Say What

Nah, it’s actually Donald Sutherland who is Buffy’s watcher, Merrick. But he looks like a pervert and sounds UBER CREEPY. He tells her that he can show her “the birthmark mole of slayer, if he can look on her body”, and “Come with me to the graveyard”.

Gilmore girls creep

Apparently Sutherland thought decided to rewrite his dialogue, I’m not sure which lines but I’m guessing these ones as they suck. He’s creepier than Nicholas Cage in The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

Certified Creepo Ribbon

I mean did he not hear himself? Did he not hear how creepy he SOUNDS?!!!!!!!

The idea to update to a kindly, well-dressed, English, librarian was just perfect.

Music With it Giles Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy still doesn’t believe him. To prove it, Merrick tosses a knife at her and Buffy catches it.

Buffy: You threw a knife at my head!

Merrick: Yes, I had to show you.

Buffy: But… you *threw* a *knife* at my *head.*

Merrick: And you caught it. Only the chosen one could have caught it.

This scene is amazing. This is some Aragorn-awesomness right here.

So Buffy agrees to go down to the graveyard and wait for Robert to come out so she can kill him. Say what you want about this movie, but you have to admit this Buffy is pretty awesome. She’s tough, intense, and extremely brave.

NCISTonyDinozzoAwesome

While they are waiting, Buffy gets bored and asks him for gum.I don’t know why, but that line just cracks me up.

indiana_jonesoh_yesyeah

I think it is because Merrick is all super serious and trying to get Buffy to understand what’s happening, but Buffy is just bored.

Bones David Bored I;m bored boring

Robert awakes and Buffy has to fight and take him down.

Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer

Buffy may come off as a a stupid, silly cheerleader, but she can seriously kick butt. When Merrick gets attacked, Buffy takes out, not one but two Vampires.

Gotcha!

Afterwards, Buffy heads home for some serious relaxing with her boyfriend Jeffrey. There we meet her parents who are so out of it. Like in the film, Heathers, they are just selfish and only into themselves.

Buffy’s Mom: Bye-Bye Bobby!

Jeffrey: Bye! She thinks my name is Bobby?

Buffy: It’s possible she thinks *my* name’s Bobby.

I’m not sure which is worse, to have parents who completely ignore you and don’t seem to care a whit, OR a parent that ignores you most of the time, while punishing you the rest (Joyce Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series).

The plot thickens

So her parents go on their merry way, an Buffy + Jeffery spend the night together.

Mmhm great gatsby

We know what they’re doing

Later that night Buffy awakes to a strange man in her bed.

Say What

As Lothos is wakening, the past lives of Slayers are flooding into her and crossing over to her world. It is a very weird scene and for a while keeps you guessing as to what is real and what is all in her head.

Carnival of Souls Don;y know real

So Buffy and Merrick begin her training. Merrick is really hard on her as they have to make up their years of training. I just wonder who’s fault is that?

Mmhm great gatsby

They never explain why Merrick is just approaching Buffy now either. And since we are on the topic, Merrick sucks! He’s creepy, rude, and mean. He keeps pushing Buffy and blaming her, when she’s still trying to get her head around the fact that her life is completely different.

Buffy: All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die. Now it may not sound too great to a sconehead like you, but I think it’s swell. And you come along and tell me I’m a member of the hairy mole club so you can *throw* things at me?

Oh ’90s. When everyone was in love with Christian Slater. I know I was.

ChristianSlaterHeathers

Sorry for that, moving back on track.

So Buffy is upset with Merrick as he is pushing her too hard and punches him out.

dean_punching_supernatural

Buffy is a total knockout, literally as it only took one punch to take Merrick down.

Buffy: Oh, wow. I-I never hit anybody before.

Merrick: Really? Well you did it perfectly.

Buffy: I didn’t even break a nail.

Yep, Buffy is awesome!

vampireslayerbuffy

awesome

Merrick gives her some background information on Slayers and Watchers. A slayer is born every generation, being reincarnated when killed (so if you watch the beginning again you’ll notice that Kristy Swanson plays the historical slayer). Merrick trains the girls, watches them die, and then when his life is up he is reincarnated into Merrick the watcher again. A very sad existence if you ask me.

Sadface Batman

After this we get a training montage, Rocky style.

Buffythevampireslayer

Yep you always need a montage .

Buffy has accepted everything and gets super into her training. You know it’s actually not that far-fetched that a cheerleader could be this totally awesome fighter. To be a cheerleader you have to do gymnastics, lift weights; it can be INTENSE. And with Buffy, she works hard.

She’s also been hunting at night with Merrick, and one night runs into Pike.

So because of all her training, she’s been missing practices and dance committee meetings. As always in a teen movie, the principal assumes it’s drugs.

Gary: [Thinking Buffy is doing drugs] Hey, there’s nothing to be afraid of! I know where you’re coming from. Believe me. I’ll tell you the truth. I’ve had my drug experiences, too. I did a lot – I did some acid in the Sixties. Well, the late Seventies, actually. It was at a Doobie Brother’s concert… and I could see the music flowing into me, it was bright red and electric, and I felt like a big toaster, and I thought, maybe I am a toaster, we’re all molecules, and my friend Melissa, her head looked like a big party balloon, and that scared me, I started to freak out…

The sad thing is that this is probably the only thing in a teen film that actually resembles reality. When people in power act as if they are a “pal”. Ugh.

2013-11-27-bradpitt friends ugh slap face stupid

So Buffy is really starting to feel the pressure of everything. She has Merrick constantly pushing her to do more and more; otherwise she won’t be ready and die. She has her boyfriend tired of the fact that she can’t spend her time with him, constantly getting mad at her. And she has her friends who don’t understand at all.

Kimberly: Buffy? What’s your sitch? You’re acting like the thing from another tax bracket. It’s too weird.

Buffy: Listen, a lot’s been going on you guys, okay? And I really wanted to talk to you guys about it. See, um, a couple of weeks ago, I met this guy-…

Kimberly: Oh my god, you’re having an affair?

Nicole: Cool!

Jennifer: Does Jeffrey know?

Buffy: It’s not about that. He’s, like, old. He’s fifty.

KimberlyNicoleJennifer: Ewwwww!

Jennifer: Gross!

Buffy: Haven’t you guys noticed what’s been going on here? The strange things? Have you noticed people disappearing, turning up dead?

Nicole: What are you talking about?

Kimberly: Weird? You mean like hanging around with that homeless Poke?

Buffy: Pike.

Nicole: [gasp] Eww, you’re having an affair with him?

Jennifer: He doesn’t look fifty.

Buffy: Guys, I think reality stepped out of here about five minutes ago.

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

Yep, the pressure is mounting and to combat it, she goes Shawn Spencer on Merrick, quipping right and left.

Buffy: Does the word “duh” mean anything to you?

I love how sassy she is.

Mmhm great gatsby

To make everything worse, it looks like Buffy’s period has come.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

but it turns out that it is just her Slayer sense.

No thank youhowaboutno

Man that would suck.

Merrick: And you’re going to be able to use that to track them.

Buffy: Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That’s just terrific. Thanks for telling me.

Merrick: It’s not a weapon. It’s an alert system.

Buffy: Well, aren’t we kung fu? I don’t see you out there killing any vampires.

Merrick: I play my part.

Buffy: You can play with your part all you want, but it’s my neck on the block.

That night Pike is wandering around inebriated. And let me tell you I am totally not digging Luke Perry. He’s cute but that’s not enough. All we’ve seen so far is him getting high, drunk, and be nasty.

ew! Gross Yuck

Now this is where the TV did a better job. Every person had a backstory. I mean when they brought Angel on to the show, they started him mysterious and cool, and then revealed his tragic backstory. We need MORE! We NEED a backstory! We NEED development!

come on

One night Pike is drunk, AGAIN, and gets attacked by vampires. Luckily Merrick and Buffy are there. They save his life, AGAIN. As you have probably figured out, with Buffy being the totally awesome Slayer, Pike is her damsel in distress. I mean it’s not like he doesn’t do anything, he helps Buffy fight, becoming her partner, but still gets into trouble a lot. He’s the Sam Winchester to her Dean.

sam_winchester___kidnapped_by_spartichi

After the help him, they defeat Lothos’ right hand man Amilyn, by pulling a Star Wars and cutting off his arm. Amilyn returns to the vampire lair, with the knowledge of Buffy being the Slayer.

Meanwhile, Buffy takes Pike to her home. Pike is homeless (hence the fact that he was working as a mechanic for a home). The thing that really bothers me is that we never find out why. Were his parents horrible and he emancipated himself? Did they die? Is he an orphan? WHAT IS HIS BACKSTORY!!!!!!!!

Sorry about that. Back to the film.

So at Buffy’s home, Pike starts going on how awesome she is, but Buffy is having a hard time keeping it together. She breaks down on and lets out all her feelings.

feelings

And while we haven’t had too much development other than he’s from “the wrong side of town” and a drunk, he just listens to everything she has to say. He doesn’t try to take advantage of her, put the moves on her-nope. All he does is listen.

How romantic

How sweet.

Instantly redeemed.

So the next day, Buffy is back to doing what she normally does. She is trying to hang out with her friends but the spawn of Satan, Kimberly (I’m telling you, don’t name your children that.)

you're evil

Has turned them agaist her. Her boyfriend is also mad and avoiding her.

Reality Sucks

And some football player grabs her for fun.

jerk

But Buffy is not having any of that. She totally takes him down, making him learn his lesson.

Don't mess with me!

Don’t mess with me!

Not kidding, after doing that this is what he says with a straight face: “I see the errors of my ways.” Hilarious & awesome!!!!

And I truly mean it

So something you might have noticed, is that there a quite a few people who have been turned into vampires. It is mostly those on the low side of the totem pole, you know the unpopulars. But there are a few popular kids too. I just wonder how no one has noticed. Well…I guess they do look pretty normal most of the time.

Hmmm....

Hmmm….

So Buffy is going back to her regular schedule as there is a basketball game.

vampireslayerbuffy

They do the cheer “how funky is your chicken, how loose is your goose”. Now years back when I was in middle school and only a select few had cellphones that could not get on the internet, and you couldn’t get on the school computers unless for schoolwork, people came to me with their movie questions. Now I know what you’re thinking:

But it wasn’t like that. Although how AWESOME would that be?????!!!! SUPER AWESOME!!!!!

Anyways you all know how much I love film,

AmericanWerewolfinLondon

Well everyone at school did too. So one of the girls was a cheerleader and they were bringing back the “how funky is your chicken, how loose is your goose” cheer. She knew it was a famous cheer and came to to find out which film it was from. I couldn’t remember the film it was first in, and when I saw this film years later i was like “of course, duh.” Oh well.

oh well

oh well

Anyways, back to the game. So Buffy is cheerleading when she notices something weird. One of the players looks completely different. It turns out that one of the guys has been turned, and as the adreneline starts pumping he starts vamping out.

Dracula

And as he does so, he also starts becoming an awesome basketball player. I guess like in Teen Wolf, becoming something not human increases basketball skills?

Buffy is the only one to realize that he’s a vampire and ends up chasing him down. She finds herself in some weird place which is Lothos hideout. This is the worse place for a lair. I’m not kidding. Like there is a giant horse plant structure, and the whole place is just too obvious to be a secret hideout. Then again this is the most flamboyant Vampire I have ever seen, and he doesn’t care what others think of him.

Favorite Lydia Bennet

Buffy meets Lothos and begins fighting with him, when he puts her in a trance and is about to kill her.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Merrick can’t stand that and interferes. A big watcher NO-NO. Watchers are supposed to train and then watch, no interfering.

And Lothos can’t have that. So he kills him.

Say What

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?????????!!!!!!!!! THEY JUST KILLED THE WATCHER!!!!! CAN THEY DO THAT???

He’s not really dead is he? Is he? He is! He is DEAD???!!! WHAT??!!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED???!!!

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Lothos and his horde leave, while Buffy hears Merrick’s dying words. He tells her she’s special and to d things HER way.

Buffy is shocked at the death and completely heartbroken.

right in the feels broken heart

She sufferes from shock of everything and wants to be done slaying. It scares her and hurts her and she just wants out.

idon'tgotthis

She tries to hang out with her friends, but just finds them shallow and vapid. They are also selfish as they don’t want to invite every senior to the dance. Just the cool ones. She yells at them and takes off.

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

Her boyfriend is still ignoring her as well. She decides she is just going to be a “normal” girl and goes shopping for a dress. While she is searching for the perfect gown, she runs into Pike. The two have a huge fight as Pike can’t believe she is backing out and letting the world down.

Pike: Buffy, you’re the guy. You are the chosen guy.

Buffy: Right. I’m the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping.

Buffy just wants to be in denial as she is too scared. If she fights she will get hypnotized and die, maybe causing the death of others. If she doesn’t fight then Lothos and his group might kill a ton of people. What’s a girl to do.

I don't know what to do

After the two storm off, we discover that Benny has been hiding in the phone booth. He overheard everything and returns to the master to tell him all about it. When the master hears, he is estatic about the party and chooses it to be the best final moment of Buffy’s life.

So while Buffy is getting ready for the dance, Pike has decided to step up to the plate. He returns to his home above the mechanic shop, and grabs every bit of wood he can find, turning them into stakes.

Get ready for this!

Get ready for this!

So while I have complained about his lack of background (and it still bothers me) every scene after the one when he listened to Buffy he has risen up and up in my esteem.

How romantic

How romantic

So Buffy goes to the dance and I absolutely love her outfit. She has her hair back in a no-nonsense bun, a beautiful puffy white dress, and boots. Yes boots.

princesswearsbootscowboycowgirlIt’s as if she subconsciously wanted to be ready in case something should happen.  Her boots are actually white boxing boots

I can look pretty and feminine and kick butt.

I can look pretty and feminine and kick butt.

It’s awesome how hardcore she is.

Take note Hollywood

Take note Hollywood

So she goes over to her boyfriend, to ask why he didn’t pick her up for the dance. And it turns out that since she wasn’t around to give him what he wanted, he broke up with her on her machine and started dating her friend.

Buffy: You left me a message?

Jeffrey: You weren’t home! Like always.

Buffy: You broke up with my machine?

What a loser.

Jerk

Come on, really? That’s so wrong. He’s a loser to the max. And how could her friend date him? That’s breaking the code!

How rude

 The two leave to have sex in the parking lot and Buffy is left all alone. But not for long as Pike comes to the dance, dressed up in a button up shirt, slacks, and his leather jacket.

swoon dreamy

He brings Buffy flowers and asks her to dance with him.

How romantic

How romantic

Okay, just gained 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 points! That was so sweet of him coming to the dance, especially since he’s not into that sort of thing but did it because he knew it would make her happy!

Perfect Boyfriend

The Vampires come to the dance. Pike gives Buffy all his stakes and his jacket, while she rips her dress so it is shorter and doesn’t constrict movement. She runs to warn everyone to close the doors, as if we don’t invite them in they are unable to come. One problem, she forgot about an earlier conversation.

Buffy: Don’t worry. They can’t come in unless they’re invited.

Kimberly: I already invited ’em. [Buffy looks at her] They’re seniors!

Yes, Buffy was being a good person telling her friends to invite all seniors, and unknowingly just caused one huge problem.

clueless mybad oops

Now when the Vampires come in we really reach a horror/comedy pinnacle. A Com-Ror as I like to say. It’s cheesy, but fun.

dean whinchester shrug smile oh well

Except for the Vampire DJ, that was dumb.

No thank youhowaboutno

So the fight begins. Some parts are silly, others creepy. I still haven’t gotten over seeing Pee-Wee Herman as a vicious vampire. It’s just does not compute that this is the same guy.

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Benny tries to convince Pike to turn vampire, and in a bizarre way, channels Christian Slater’s character J.D from Heathers. Talking about people being sheep and this chaos is better, etc. That makes Pike his Winona/Veronica. The only problem is that Benny is nowhere near as hot.

So they kids inside are following Pike and Buffy’s lead trying to take down the vampires, while Buffy heads out to do a throwdown with Lothos.

She takes down Pee-Wee, his right hand man (horrible death scene) and heads down to Lothos. The two fight, with Buffy surprising him with a flame torch made out of hairspray and a cross.

AWESOME!!!

AWESOME!!!

She then stakes him! BUFFY ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

buffythevampireslayer

She and Pike ride off on his motorcycle, as the dumb principal hands out detention slips to the dead vampires:

Gary: [Throwing detention slips on the dead vampires] Detention [Walks to another body]… detention [Walks to another body]… detention. [Throws 2 more slips on the same body. Says quickly]Detention, detention.

And the rest of the group is interviewed about what happened.

TheEnd_Title_2

So How Does It Hold Up?

Some parts of it seem a bit underdeveloped, mainly backstories of the characters. And at times it can be cheesy or silly, but on a whole I loved it.

Say What

Yes, I LOVED IT!!!!! The series on a whole is better, as it has more time to devote to the characters, but this movie was awesome. Buffy is incredible.

buffythevampireslayer

It’s a great film if you are looking for something funny and silly, but with a horror twist.

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1992BUFFYTHEVAMPIRESLAYERD

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to Psycho Strangers: The Girl He Met Online (2014)

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For more on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to Heaven on Earth

For more on vampires, go to Monster Movie: Supernatural (2008)

For more Com-Rors, go to Someone Very Special: The Addams Family Values (1993)

For more David Arquette, go to Don’t F*** with the Original: Scre4m (2011)

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

Say What

22) Something You Never Expected

Hmmmm….let me think….

Hmm

Hmm

Oooh! I know just the thing to write about.

So we are going back in time to 2009.

Back to the Future

So in 2009 I was 17 years old. That August my youth group went to an amusement park as our last group trip before school started.

backtoschool

We went on all kinds of rides and had fun.

nancydrewhardyboyssmileyeah

As we were walking along the lot, my friend Anny spotted a booth playing music. We danced around, just being silly…

Dance fun friends photo model behavior DCOM

When this man and woman in suits ask us if we would like to enter a contest.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

Now you all know me and contests/free stuff.

free stuff

I was like sure! What’s it for?

indiana_jonesoh_yesyeah

A chance to be in a Jonas Brothers’ music video!

Billy-From-Scream-scream-1804906-547-342

No

No, no no no no no no no no no no. I hated the Jonas Brothers. Well not them specifically. I just didn’t care for their music or the fact that they were everywhere and on EVERYTHING. There was no getting away from them.

Run Away

run-away

I was like no thank you.

No thank youhowaboutno

My friend however, really, really liked the group and wanted to enter. But she didn’t want to do it alone. So I said fine, ok.

Yeah-Dean-dean-winchester-33251540-500-300

After all, what are the chances you’ll win? Like never.  

I_don't_care

So all we have to do is get our picture taken in front of a background and leave our name + phone number. Easy, peasy.

Take note Hollywood

What’s kind of interesting was that we were actually the only ones asked out of the entire group. I guess they just liked our dancing or something.

DDontHateme cause beautiful boy meets world

Four months pass. It’s December and I am concentrating on schoolwork, Winter formal, Christmas, etc. When I come home I get a phone call:

Phew!

And to my surprise it was the people running the contest. They had chosen ME out of their hundreds of applicants. I was stunned.

Say What

ME??????!!!

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

They gave me the information on where I needed to go, when, etc. But I answered, no.

Say What

I know what you all are thinking. WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU TURN THAT DOWN???!!! (That’s what all my friends said.) Well, I just felt that as I didn’t care for the guys and it didn’t really matter to me, I’d rather it go to someone else.

Besides, you know what’s cooler than being in a Jonas Brothers’ music video? Having turned it down.

hot pretty sexy

Yep, not everyone can say that. But I sure can.

awesome

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To start the 30 Day Challenge from the beginning, go to Musical Madness

For the previous post, go to Let’s Go to the Movies

 

This Isn’t Love, This is Ecstasy: Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas (2000)

Romantic Moment #10

flintstones_in_viva_rock_vegas

Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas (2000)

So this is the prequel to the film The Flintstonesbut it is a much, much better film. First of all the storyline is better, much, much, much better. And even though I love John Goodman, Mark Addy is a much better Fred. Rosie O’Donnell sucked as Betty. But most all, it has Thomas Gibson in it.

So Handsome!!!

So Handsome!!!

Sorry, I’m sorry. I just had to take a moment there. Back on track now! Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, this is much better than the first film.

So Wilma Slaghoople has had enough of her rich lifestyle. She is tired of friends who don’t care about her. Tired of people who can’t think beyond what’s in vogue, etc. Tired of Chip Rockefeller who’s only interested in her wealth. She escapes from her mansion and travels down to the town below, where the “common, everyday” people live. She stops at a burger joint and meets Betty O’Shale. Betty thinks she is poor and caveless, and not only invites her to live in her home but gets her a job as well at the diner.

Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble are best friends and roommates. The two have just passed their exams and are now certified Bronto Crane Operators. They go out to think about their lives, Fred expressing how he wants someone special to spend it with, when they meet the Great Gazoo, an alien banished to Earth to observe the dating rituals of man.

One day Fred and Barney go out to a burger joint and meet Betty. Fred picks her up and procures Wilma for Barney. They go out to an amusement park, but there Barney and Betty feel an instant connection and go off together. Fred is upset at first with being placed with Wilma, but after their bowling game they connect and start falling for each other. Fred also wins Dino for being such a great bowler. Soon the four (and the two couples separately) are spending all their time together, falling in love.

Wilma’s mom has tracked her down and tries to get her back, but Wilma won’t go as her mom is cold-hearted and looks down on her friends. Her mom convinces her to come to her father’s birthday party, she agrees if she can bring her friends. The next day they are shocked by how wealthy she is, Betty hurt at how Wilma lied to her. Fred was going to ask her to marry him, but after this he feels as if he doesn’t have enough to offer her. Wilma is mad at how her mother treats her friends, and storms out. Chip tries to make it up to her and invites them all down to his casino in Rock Vegas.

There we see Chip’s evil plan. He owes money to mobsters and is trying to get Wilma to marry him so that he can pay them back. He gets Fred gambling so that he will not only miss out on dates with Wilma, making her feel like crap, but so that he can hold onto Fred’s debts as a way to get rid of him. He takes Barney out of the equation by getting his girlfriend Roxie, to take him to an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. Betty sees them and thinks Barney is stepping out on her, taking up with Mick Jaggerd (supposed to be Mick Jagger). Wilma is pissed off with Fred for being so wrapped up in money that she breaks up with him. Fred thinks he can win her back by getting more money, but Chip makes him lose everything. Chip takes Wilma’s pearls out of the hotel safe and plants them on Fred, imprisoning him and Barney. There the two meet up with Gazoo and escape. To avoid detection they dress up as girls, sneaking into Jaggered’s room. Jaggered and Barney get in a fight over Betty, with Barney knocking him out. Fred gets out and tells Wilma that he loves her. The two get married and as you know  have a yabba dabba doo time, a dabba doo time, they have a gay old time.

Most Romantic Moment:

So after Fred’s been imprisoned and escaped, his options are limited as to what he can do. After all, the hotel security is looking for him and will jump at the chance to take him down. But Fred really wants to get out there and tell Wilma how he feels, he can’t lose her. So when Barney knocks out Mick Jaggered, Fred does the only thing that comes to mind. He gets out on that stage and sings to her.

So romantic!

So romantic!

I know! So romantic!! A girl loves being serenaded to! And it’s not just the singing its the song itself! He picks Wilma’s favorite song, he sings their song! I absolutely LOVE this song, I think it is one of the most romantic ones out there. I mean just read it.

This isn’t love, this is ecstasy
Somehow I knew you would come to me
I’ve just been waiting for you to come
Into my life this way
Now here you’ll stay

This isn’t love, this is destiny
Somewhere above this was planned for me
Life had no meaning, I never knew what
Til the dream came true
The dream is you

I never say never
But this love won’t ever be over 
Together we’ll share love wherever we go

This isn’t chance, this was meant to be
I knew I’d find you eventually
Nothing else matters, As long as I know
You will always be so close to me

I never say never
But this love won’t ever be over
Together we’ll share love wherever we go

This isn’t chance
This was meant to be
I knew I’d find you eventually

Nothing else matters
As long as I know
You will always be so close to me

I never say never
I never say never
I never say never
I never say never
I never say never

Isn’t just dreamy and perfect!! Serenading, their song, it is just dripping in romance. Sorry about the low quality, it is the only one I could find.