The Accidental Bride

the accidental bride

The Accidental Bride: A Romantic Comedy by Janice Harayda

This book was recommended to me by Goodreads, based on one of the books I have read in the past (I can’t quite remember which one). It sounded interesting: a woman is planning on getting married, but a month before her wedding she starts having second thoughts. Is this really what she wants? As her family and friends are all forcing her hand, she turns to her love of Jane Austen to pull her through. Sounds great right?

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I HATED IT!

Hate YOu

It just was so, urgh the main character was too annoying.

Person hate talking

But let’s wait a moment before we go there. So the book is a Bridget Jones’ Diary style adaption of Pride and Prejudice. The main character is Lily Blair (LB like Lizzie Bennet) who is from an upper class but not old money super wealthy family. Her mother is a meddler (like Mrs. Bennet) who has dreamed of the day her daughter is married off for years (just like Mrs. Bennet). Lily’s fiancé is from an old, established family with a ton of money (third wealthiest in Ohio), and a lawyer (just like in Bridget Jones’ Diary), named Mark (just like BJD) Danforth [M.D like Mr. Darcy].

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There is even a woman after Mark named Caroline, just like in Pride and Prejudice when Caroline Bingley uses every trick she can to get Darcy, but he’s not interested.

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So why did I dislike the book? Two words Lily Blair.

hate her

First of all she has no reason for breaking off the wedding. It’s not that she is unsure she wants to spend the rest of her life with Mark, or that she is unsure if she wants to stay in Ohio, or that she thinks her life is taking her in a new direction away from Mark, or that she has a great job offer, OR ANY OF THOSE THINGS! She just wakes up one morning and says she wants to cancel.

Say What

Yeah. With no thought to how this will affect her fiancé, family, or the fact that a ton of money has been spent. And the worst thing is that she doesn’t even feel remorse for this! She’s just like, “women don’t need to be married to be happy.” “Most marriages end in divorce anyway.” Where was this attitude months ago? How can you just do that to your fiancé without feeling bad or sorry or anything???!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I mean come on, that’s cruel, horrible, selfish, and immature.

And there is no reason to dump him. He’s kind, sweet, considerate, understanding, dependable, handsome…i.e:

Perfect Boyfriend

I mean it’s like when Meg Ryan dumped Bill Pullman in Sleepless in Seattle. Why would you? Bull Pullman’s such an amazingly sweet guy. It just makes no sense! And at least in Sleepless in Seattle, Meg Ryan felt bad about it. In here, Lily cares zip for how this affects anyone.

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And then Lily starts complaining about her life. Her newspaper in New York was being downsized so she moved home, got a job there, an apartment, but oh no woe is me! I had to move home! I have to live in a “small town”. I have a rich, perfect, boyfriend. I come from a family with money. Life is so hard.

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Come on,

Girl Please

Get over yourself. So what if New York didn’t turn out how you wanted it. Life is pretty amazing. I know plenty who would love that life. I would love that life.

So you see, she was just so darn annoying that I found the book a total dud.

Get it right

Ugh!

And Mark deserves way better than Lily.

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For more works based on Jane Austen, go to The Sense and Sensibility Screenplay & Diaries

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Fall For You

For more on Sleepless in Seattle, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Line List

Take a Chill Pill John Knightley

Emma (2009)

After having read the novel Emma by Jane Austen, and having seen every film of it that I could get my hands on, I have concluded that Emma and I have a lot of similarities. We are not exactly alike but there are many things that are similar:

  1. John hates Emma
  • Dave hates Me

In the novel Emma’s older sister, Isabella is married to John, Mr. Knightly’s younger brother (I know some people think that is weird but Jane wrote it not me.) Anyways John cannot stand Emma, and Emma cannot stand him.  John is so annoying, he is always having freakout sessions and is such a wet blanket. He has a short temper and always going on and on about things, a real Debbie Downer. John also has such “strong” opinions. Meaning that he won’t listen to what anyone else thinks but has to constantly go on what he feels is right.

Anyways how this relates is that this guy my sister dated, Dave, hated me. And the feeling was mutual. I tried to like and be nice to him, but it was so hard because he is such a controlling guy and not very responsive. I would try to talk to him and get to know him, but he just cut me off or would ignore me.

At first I thought I was imagining he disliked me. I’ll admit I had a few Lizzy Bennet like jealous feelings, I missed hanging out with my sister as she had all her time filled up with being with Dave. I also felt that he was always talking down to me; treating me as a child. (Even though I was older than him.) He tended to act like a know-it-all and so much more superior to me but, I tried to see it his way and thought maybe he was nervous that he was so young and trying to compensate for it by acting older.

Usually I try to avoid Dave so that we do not have any such confrontations. However, I couldn’t get out of it last Saturday, and like John, Dave was a real wet blanket. In every conversation, he had to interrupt me and debase any opinion I had. I made my exit as quick as possible as I couldn’t stay much longer without slicing off his head.

Is this too crazy?

Anyways I was telling my mother what I was feeling about Dave. She thought I might be imagining it. But just like how Emma is reaffirmed by John’s action’s I found out from my sister that, Davedid indeed dislike me (to the extreme). So “no doubting [it I].. have powers of penertration.” (Loosely quoted from Emma).

So for now all I have to say is John take a chill pill and share it with Dave.

*Currently the two are no longer together which is great for me and her. Dave was a loser and she deserves better.

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To read more about Emma go to For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic

For more on guys I avoid, go to The Return of the Verne

For more on Emma (2009), go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more on the French Revolution, go to Viva La Révolution

For more Jane Austen heroines, go to Obviously You Never Met George Knightly

 

A Letter of Love: Persuasion (2007)

Romantic Moment #14

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Persuasion (2007)

So first of all:

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So last year I ended the Romance is in the Air posts with Northanger Abbey. I thought this could become a tradition, always ending on a Jane Austen film. Hmmm…I wonder what next year will bring? Who knows?

Anyways, so two of my favorite Jane Austen books/films are Northanger Abbey and Persuasion. I mean I love the others, but I feel like these two are really forgotten by the fans and never gets any love.  Which is just not fair because they are fantastic books and movies. They deserve fans!!! Love them!

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Okay, let’s step back from the crazy. Sorry.

So Persuasion is a wish fullfillment piece by Jane Austen. Jane fell in love with a rich man from a good family, very Pride & Prejudice, but his family strongly disapproved and took him away from her in order to make sure their attraction didn’t turn into something scandalous like marriage. While Jane had offers from other men, she never stopped loving him and waited for him to come back into her life. (So now that you know this you will understand this movie/book even better.) Another fun,  fun is not the right word let’s go with interesting  an interesting fact, Jane died before this and Northanger Abbey were published so she didn’t name them. Her brother, who had them published, decided what they should be called based on what he thought would be interesting.

So, anyways, the film begins with nineteen-year old Anne Elliot getting engaged (secretly) to young naval officer Frederick Wentworth. However, her mother figure (as her mom is dead) and family friend, Lady Russell, convinces her to end the engagement. She tells her she is too young, that it is risky marrying an officer going off to war, he could die, she could end up a widow, she could be penniless, etc. (Lady Russell brings up some good points, but she also wanted to end the marriage as Anne was a higher station and had more money. She thought Fredrick Wentworth wasn’t good enough for her Anne.) Anne really values Lady Russell’s opinion and breaks off the engagement, even though it breaks her heart and she regrets it everyday.

Fast forward eight years and things have drastically changed. Anne’s father, Sir Walter, and older sister, Elizabeth, have squandered A LOT of the family fortune on their vanity. Anne tried to reign in the spending, but no one would listen as her sister has the position of running the home (that is until she is married). They now have to lease out their home and reside somewhere else. And just who should be living in their home, Admiral Croft and Mrs. Croft. Mrs. Croft just happens to be Frederick Wentworth’s sister. And to even add to it, her brother has had an increase in his fortunes. He made so much money in maritime victories during the Napoleonic wars. (He had no one to live for so he took A LOT of risks and they paid, boy did they pay.) He also was promoted to Captain.

Her father and sister leave for Bath, where they will be spending the season. Anne goes to see her bratty, hypochondriac, annoying, selfish, younger, sister, Mary. (As you can tell I don’t like her.) Mary is married to Charles Musgrove, a guy who wanted to marry Anne but she turned down as she still loved Frederick. He then married his sister to spite her, and spent the rest of his life (and family’s life) regretting that choice. Mary lives nearby the old Elliot homestead, so wouldn’t you know it, she runs into Frederick several times.

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To make matters worse, Frederick is so hurt and still heartbroken that he just ignores her and won’t say anything. This pains Anne as she still loves him and is just bursting to tell him how she feels but scared. And then to further rub salt in the wound, Charles’ younger, pretty, single, sisters are both making a play for him.

ouch

And not only does he like it (of course, duh); but he totally plays it up in front of her. Just like a guy.

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Although I totally get what he’s doing. I mean she turned him down and didn’t do it in the best way. He started thinking she was only interested in the fact that he had no money, otherwise a “Good Charlotte Witch“.

Anyways, so the rest of the family has no clue what happened between Anne and Capt. Wentworth. So they purposely keep trying to bring Wentworth over. The one sister, Henrietta, stops her flirtations with Wentworth as her cousin is deeply into her. Everyone believes that Wentworth will ask for Louisa’s hand, but he still hasn’t gotten over Anne, but is just trying to get at her.

The whole family decides to travel down to Lyme Regis, with Wentworth to visit his friend,  Captain Harville and Captain James Benwick. Benwick recently lost his fiancé, the sister of Harville, and is stilll grieving her. He loves poetry and he and Anne become close. People start speculating about more happening between them, which does not make Wentworth happy.  Anne also attracts the attention of the Elliots’ long-estranged cousin, and her father’s heir, William Elliot. Also disturbing Wentworth.

Jealous

Things change when Louisa suffers from a fall and gets a serious concussion, because of her stubborn behavior (she’s the girl that does whatever she wants). Anne is the only able to keep her head and assist her. The Musgroves care for her and Anne goes to Bath. Captain Wentworth faces the fact that when Louisa recovers he may be tied to her forever, which is something he is not so sure he wants to do.

In Bath, Anne finds out that her father and Mr. Elliot, her cousin, have fixed their relationship. Elizabeth assumes that he wishes to court her while Lady Russell more correctly suspects that he admires Anne.  Anne doesn’t really like Mr. Elliot, she feels like something is not right about him and tries to avoid him as much as possible.

Admiral Croft, having heard a rumour of Mr. Elliot’s proposal to Anne, sends Wentworth to ask Anne if she and her new husband require them to quit Kellynch Hall. Anne informs Wentworth that Admiral Croft has been  misinformed.

24629465There’s hope!

Soon the Crofts, Musgroves, Benwick, Harville, Wentworth, etc; the whole crew comes to Bath. Louisa is engaged, but not to Wentworth, but Benwick. Wentworth is not happy about Mr. Elliot’s attentions to Anne, not at all. Anne also goes to visit her friend, Mrs. Smith, who is a struggling widow. She tells Anne that Mr. Elliot is not a nice guy at all. He has been so determined to inherit everything that he has been going after Sir Walter’s love interest in order to ensure he doesn’t remarry and have a son. Anne is shocked, but it reaffrims her feelings of mistrust toward him.

Wentworth is moved by what he overhears Anne says about women never giving up their feelings of love even when all hope is lost. This makes him brave enough to share his feelings and he writes her a letter telling her how he feels.  Anne recieves the letter and runs after Wentworth, there he proposes and she accepts. We fast forward, and Wentworth is surprising Anne with a gift. It’s her old house!

Most Romantic Moment: 

He writes one of the most beautiful letters ever! Now the thing I really love about Persuasion is you can just feel for the characters, everyone has experienced rejection and heartbreak; and the hardest thing can be trying to put yourself out there. So we have Wentworth who loved Anne, had his heart thrown through a shedder. He realizes that he loves Anne, but should he say something? Does she still love him? Is she angry over the way he treated her? Has she moved on? Will she reject him again? This has to be one of the bravest and romantic things ever.

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in

F. W.

I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father’s house this evening or never. 

So romantic!

So romantic!

That is so romantic, just laying everything out like that. He totally threw caution aside and just told her everything.

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So romatic! And that is just one of the best ways to try and win a girl back. Conclusion:

BoysinBksSo now because it is my blog, and I want to, I am going to review my favorite parts of the letter.

You pierce my soul

not too late

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lovedyou

For you alone

A word look

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So that ends this Valentine countdown. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday whether you are single or in a relationship. Eat lots of candy, wear red, watch sappy movies; that’s what I’ll be doing. 😀

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For more Persuasion go to A Frederick Wentworth Sighting, Let’s Hear it for the Boysand On the 10th Day ‘Til Christmas

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In other news:

Yay!

 

For the 100th post, go to Wanna Grow Old With You: The Wedding Singer (1998)

For the 300th post, go to That’s What You Get

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Let’s Hear it For the Boys

So since today is Veteran’s Day I was going to do a post about 11 of my favorite war movies. However since it has been a while since my last Austenite post (not counting the Halloween one), I thought it would be better to do a list of my favorite Austen military men. As Deniece Willams’ put it so well. “Let’s hear it for the boys!“.

So here we go.

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9) Colonel Fitzwilliam

Colonel Fitzwilliam is from Pride and Prejudice and is the cousin of Mr. Darcy. He doesn’t feature too much in the story as he is supposed to be at first seen as a “character foil” for Mr. Darcy (but turns out to not be as we later realize we have misjudged Darcy) along with furthering the plot (such as revealing there is more to Darcy’s character, that Darcy broke up Bingley and Jane, etc.).

He is a very nice and funny man. He is in the military as he is the second son, and therefore forced to work as he will not inherit. But even though he makes it clear to Elizabeth that nothing will happen (as she isn’t rich enough) he still treats her like a person and is great fun for Elizabeth to hang out with.

Col. Fitzwilliam now seated himself by Elizabeth, and talked so agreeably of Kent and Hertfordshire, of traveling and staying at home, of new books and music, that Elizabeth had never been half so well entertained in that room before; and they conversed with so much spirit and flow…”

And to be honest, that’s all most people really want.

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8) Captain Harville

Captain Harville is from Persuasion and is a friend and fellow soldier of Captain Wentworth. He is a kind man who was wounded and retired from the military. He has a home in Lyme where everyone comes to visit and where Louisa gets injured at.

He is such a sweet and unassuming man. He opens him home up for everyone, and when Louisa gets hurt, allows her to stay there as long as she wants to until she is recovered. He is a great friend to Fredrick Wentworth and helps him realize how much he is in love with Anne.

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7) Sir John Middleton 

Sir John is from Sense and Sensibility and while some find him annoying I think he is a really nice guy. He can be a bit intrusive and a gossip, involving himself in other’s affairs (primarily Colonel Brandon’s love life), but he has a kind and gentle heart.

When the Dashwood’s are kicked out of their home, he lets them his cottage for a price far under what it is worth. Not only does he do that, but he invites them over to his house daily, supplying them with food and comfort far beyond their current ability.

He is fiercely loyal and caring for his friends; standing by Colonel Brandon even when others say things about his rash behavior of breaking up their planned outing. He even forgives Willoughby after the whole Marianne issue.

For more on Sir John Middleton, go to A Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

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6) Admiral Croft

Admiral Croft is also from Persuasion and is married to Captain Fredrick Wentworth’s sister. He is the perfect naval gentleman; kindly, genial, and good-looking (according to the Anne’s shallow and appearance obsessed father). He and his wife are so adorable, as they are also so clearly in love and can’t bear to be separated from each other for long periods of time. Anne considers them the happiest married couple she has ever met, and a role model for what she hopes to have one day.

I love how he gets rid of all of Sir Walter’s mirrors. I agree with him that Sir Walter was extremely excessive in that.

“I have done very little [changes] besides sending away some of the large looking-glasses from my dressing-room, which was your father’s…Such a number of looking-glasses! oh Lord! there was no getting away from one’s self. So I got Sophy to lend me a hand, and we soon shifted their quarters; and now I am quite snug, with my little shaving glass in one corner, and another great thing that I never go near.”

He is also very sweet. He and his wife care for Anne, giving her rides and taking her in to be part of their family. When Sir Walter snubs them in Bath, they take it with good humor and continue on their way.

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5) Colonel Campbell

We never get to see Colonel Campbell, but we get to hear all about him. He is from Emma, and the man who took care of Jane after her parents died. He was an old family friend and when Jane was reduced to the Bates’ poor circumstances he took Jane into his family and cared for her.

It was so nice of Colonel Campbell to do that for Jane. He could have just ignored her, but instead brought her into his family! Although he couldn’t provide her the same kind of future as his own child, what he gave her was much better than what she would have had without him. Through this she met the awful Frank Churchill, (more later on why I don’t like him), and had a “happy” future (Austen makes it seemingly happy but I don’t think one could be happy being married to Frank).

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4) Captain Benwick

Captain Benwick is also from Persuasion, (most of these military men are as Persuasion is a miltary filled novel).

Captain Benwick is such an adorable man. He is so kind but has such a sad story. He was in love with Captain Harville’s sister, but when she died, he stopped living his life, depressed and heartbroken over her loss. He’s so cute and romantic.

In the novel he makes a real connection with Anne, both understanding each other through their similar pain of losing the one they love. Benwick loves poetry, mostly melancholy ones, and Anne’s helps him out of his funk by discussing lighter and better ones. Without her he would never have had the courage to love another, Louisa Musgrove, or ask her hand.

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3) Lieutenant William Price

William Price is from the book Mansfield Park, and is Fanny’s older brother. He is the only one who remains in contact with her when she moves away, and is the epitome of the kind, caring, older brother.

“His last thought on leaving home was for her. He stepped back again to the door to say, ‘Take care of Fanny, mother. She is tender, and not used to rough it like the rest of us. I charge you, take care of Fanny.”

He shares a lot of sinilar traits as Edmund, although he doesn’t act as dumb as him. (More on this later). To Fanny, those two men are the most important people in her life.

William is honest and hard-working, which unfortunately not too helpful in moving up the ranks in the military, in times of peace. At this time in history, to get a good position in peace times, was only by having purchased a commission or position. He doesn’t get a big break until Henry Crawford pulls some strings, trying to get on Fanny’s good side.

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 2) Captain Fredrick Wentworth

Captain Fredrick Wentworth is the romantic hero of Persuasion. He is adorable and wonderful, I just adore him. After Anne breaks his heart, he goes off bravely combating anything in war. While he puts on a tough exterior, he is still in agony over losing Anne. At first he is a tad mean to her, mostly being cold or ignoring her presence; but this is perfectly understandable as he has spent years in pain over her; never realizing that she has been feeling the exact same way. He thought she didn’t want to be with him because he was poor and of a lower class.

He flirts with other girls to make her jealous, but realizes that he was crazy to do so as he could never imagine himself with any one but Anne. He thinks that he has lost her, but her conversation with Harville about women loving longer than men convinces him otherwise  and encourages him to write one of the best Austen letters. More on him later, as he deserves his own post like Knightly.

For more on Captain Frederick Wentworth, go to A Fredrick Wentworth Sighting 

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1) Colonel Brandon

 Colonel Brandon is one of the best Austen heroes. He’s from Sense and Sensibility and has such a sad story, but still remains kindly and good-hearted.

When he was younger he fell in love with a girl, but his father broke them up. He went on to India, but she went down an awful life as she feel in love with a man and was left alone pregnant. She died young, and Brandon took care of her child, raising it as his own.

He fell in love with Marianne, not caring that she had no fortune, but instead loving her mind and spirit. He is rich and of high social standing, but doesn’t allow those customs dictate the ways of his heart. He continues loving her and caring for her; even though all she thinks of him is an “old man”. He never gives up and does all he can to help her. When she is injured and caught in the rain the second time, he carries her to safety and travels a great distance to bring her mother to her.

He is kind, generous, and one of the most amazing Austen men; my top military man. He will be getting his own post too, eventually.

For more on Colonel Brandon, go to It’s All Jane Austen’s Fault

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I just want to end this post with my most heartfelt thanks to to all who have served our country and for those currently serving. Thank you so much for everything you have done and for all the sacrifices you have made. I am so happy to live in a country that gives honor to those who deserve it for all that they do. Happy Veteran’s Day! 

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For the previous holiday post go to Horrorfest

For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to A Halloween Hello from the Austen Men

For another Persuasion post, go to A Letter of Love

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to On the 10th Day ‘Til Christmas

For another Emma related post, go to I’m No Warrior, I’m an Assistant Pig-Keeper

For more on Mansfield Park, go to Part IX: Adventures in Movie Lines

A Very Scary Story: The Even Stevens Special (2001)

Wait. Stop. I, I can’t take it, I’m just a little kid!

So I know this isn’t a movie, but I’m strapped for time and making an exception.

I loved Even Stevens as a kid, and thought it was the best show ever. This was back when Shia LaBeouf wasn’t weird or annoying. I remember that this episode was freaky and funny, the best thing for getting you in the Halloween mood.

So the film starts out with Ren watching a horror movie.

Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you’re chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?

All of a sudden the phone rings, and in a very Scream-esque/When a Stranger Calls way the caller harasses her telling her he can see her and stuff.

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What’s your favorite scary movie?

 

Ren very angry and freaked out promptly hangs up.

But instead of feeling safer, Ren hears sounds abounding from all over the house. She is extremely frightened as she traces the noises back to the closet.

Killer Scary Movie

 

She opens the door and there is……….

Louis

I’m a penguin jockey! NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NAH!

Ren of course is as uptight as always and extremely angry that Louis would play such a prank on her. She screams at him and they go their separate ways.

The next day, Ren is planning on giving out eye exams while Louis wants to plant fake eyes in the gravy at school. He plans to meet up with his friends; Tom, Twitty, and Tawny (I always thought it was funny how they all had T names) later to gross out the cafeteria crowd.

After their littke pow-wow Tom heads off to get his eyes examined. There he finds Principal Wexler dressed as a mad scientist and Coach Tugnut as Igor; alluding to the film Frankenstein.

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Later Louis finds out that all his friends have ditched their plans to prank the school. In fact all they care about is drinking milk and bad things going on their permanent record

Tom Gribalski: suddenly got quite the hankering for the moo juice. It’s an excellent source of calcium for overall skeletal health…if something like [the prank] that went down on our permanent record, it would follow us for the rest of our lives.

In fact everyone in the school is walking around drinking milk, talking about permanant records, and trying to get Louis to get his eyes examined. What is going on in that room, will Louis survive or succumb to this mad Halloween nightmare?

You’ll have to watch and find out! Let me just say I absolutely loved the end! I’m sure you guys will to.

To check out the previous post go here. Have a scraretasticly good Sunday. More posts to come as we are nearing the halfway mark to completion.

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To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

To go to the previous post, go to A Deliciously Creepy Tale

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For more on Disney, go to A Fright on Halloween Night

For more on Frankenstein, go to A Monster Race

For more mad scientists, go to It’s Alive, It’s ALIVE!

For more on bad milk, go to Disnified Horror

For more on phone harassment, go to Do You Know Where Alex Is?