I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

Buffy, you’re the guy. You are the chosen guy.

Right. I’m the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping.

 So I’m sure a lot of you are surprised. What Buffy the Vampire Slayer is this? Well before we had this:

We had this:

In 1992, Joss Whedon’s idea of a Californian cheerleader finding out she was actually the vampire slayer of her generation, came to theaters. Only one problem, Whedon HATED it.

In fact he hated it so much, that he was reported to walk off set one day and never come back.

Five years later, Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series came out, one that stayed true to his “vision”.

So What Went Wrong?

Apparently the screenwriters felt that Whedon’s story was too dark and depressing. They wanted it to be more of a horror-parody comedy, kind of like Heathers with vampires instead of a homicidal maniac. Whedon wasn’t interested in that, as you can tell with his much darker TV series.

Joss Whedon to a T

So Is this Film Bad?

Let’s get down to the review and find out:

The film starts out with a historical piece. A medieval woman who has the birthmark (a mole), proving she is the Vampire Slayer of this generation. We switch from a very serious moment of her asking to “become the blade”.

And fighting Vampires.

And then we switch to Los Angeles and a group of cheerleaders chanting.

And Miss Buffy Summers, cheerleader extraordinaire, fashionista, and a total valley girl.

Yeah, that is pretty much the essence of the movie. They try to pin together opposites. And is it horrible? No. I love it. It is so quirky and funny. And come on, a cheerleader by day and vampire slayer ay night? That’s awesome.

So as I’m reading the credits and as I have seen this movie before I didn’t think think I would see anything important, but then Paul Reubens…wait, what?!

Pee-Wee is in a teen film? Pee-Wee Herman is in a vampire film? PEE-WEE?!!! PEE-WEE??!!! PEE-WEE HERMAN is in a TEEN VAMPIRE FILM?

How could I have missed that? Huh. And Hilary Swank? Ugh! I hate her. Ever since she ruined the Karate Kid series.

This was supposed to be her first film, so maybe she won’t be too bad. So Buffy and the gang go to the mall, shopping!

And there is something you might notice in this scene. While this movie came out in 1992, we hadn’t completely crossed over from the ’80s. You can kind of see it in the stonewash, abundance of leather, and in the “gothic” clothes of the vampire and “uncool” crowd, but most of it looks like this:

And I LOVE IT!

Anyways, so at the mall the girls are shopping when Buffy spots this totally rad jacket. And let me tell you, Buffy has a great sense of style

Her friend Kimberly (Hilary Swank), and let me just stop her and say that unless you are a pink ranger, having the name Kimberly means you are EVIL. I don’t know why, it just seems to be a trait that carries on with a name.

Anyways, she convinces her that the jacket is ugly and so yesterday.

When she is not shopping, she spends her time out with her jocky boyfriend, Jeffrey.

Jeffery is on the basketball team and one day after practice, his group splits up. Jeffery is heading over to hang out with Buffy, while two of the other guys go about town, and the last one, Robert heads home. And the route he chooses goes right through an abandoned amusement park.

Come on dude! You are going to go through an abandoned AMUSEMENT PARK????!!!!!! You are just asking to be killed.

And of course, he gets attacked by a Vampire and turned. Good-bye Robert.

Good-bye

So Jeffery is alright, but not altogether that interesting and handsome. Sorry dude, Luke Perry of the “uncoolness squad” is much better looking.

Luke Perry plays Pike, a leather wearing, motorcycle driving, mechanic. He lies above the garage that he works at. He is very dissatisfied with life him, only having one friend, Bennie (wonder if it is a nickname after the drugs, wouldn’t be surprised if it was), played by David Arquette (aw David, just can’t keep you out of Horrorfest). The boys spend most of their time drinking and making fun of those richer than them.

We then jump back to historical times so that we can get more of a background of Lothos. Lothos is the head Vampire that has destroyed every prior slayer. He is over 800 years old and has the power to hypnotize his enemies.

So for Buffy everything is going as usual. The only thing she has to worry about is the senior dance.

Buffy: [Trying to come up with an issues-related theme for their school dance] The environment.

Nicole: The homelesses?

Kimberly: [to Nicole] Oh, please.

Jennifer: Are there any good sicknesses that aren’t too depressing?

Buffy: Guys. The environment. I’m telling you, it’s totally key. The earth is in terrible shape, we could all die, and besides, Sting’s doing it.

You know that actually sounds difficult. From being on my high school’s prom comittee, I know that it is already hard enough trying to get the committee to come up with a theme and work on decorations and such. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to throw a “socially conscious” dance.

Buffy & co run into the uncoolness squad and there is definitely one thing this movie did wrong, they made the “undesirable” guys, undesirable. I mean come on, there is a formula to this thing! They are supposed to be secretly charming and adorable. Not pigs and boring because they have zero character development!

Both Pike and Bennie are super drunk and start hitting on the girls, incredibly gross style. Bennie even acts as if he is going to whip out his junk, and Buffy slices it.

Turns out it was just a hotdog, but it just goes to show you that Buffy is intense. I would not want to mess with her.

So one night as Benny is going home, he gets attacked by a vampire and turned. He goes to the window and tries to get Pike to come out and join him, but even in his alcohol induced state, Pike can tell something is not right.

Benny: Let me in, Pike. I’m *hungry*!

Pike: Go home, Ben.

Benny: [whining] C’mon I’m hungry.

Pike: You’re floating! C’mon, man, get away from here!

Pike can tell that things aren’t right and tries to leave the city, thinking anywhere is better than here. As he is fleeing town, he luckily is saved by a creepy dude.

You look like a pervert but I guess thank you?

 So life is going good for Buffy, until the same perverted-looking, old, creep comes to kidnap her.

Nah, it’s actually Donald Sutherland who is Buffy’s watcher, Merrick. But he looks like a pervert and sounds UBER CREEPY. He tells her that he can show her “the birthmark mole of slayer, if he can look on her body”, and “Come with me to the graveyard”.

Apparently Sutherland thought decided to rewrite his dialogue, I’m not sure which lines but I’m guessing these ones as they suck. He’s creepier than Nicholas Cage in The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

I mean did he not hear himself? Did he not hear how creepy he SOUNDS?!!!!!!!

The idea to update to a kindly, well-dressed, English, librarian was just perfect.

Buffy still doesn’t believe him. To prove it, Merrick tosses a knife at her and Buffy catches it.

Buffy: You threw a knife at my head!

Merrick: Yes, I had to show you.

Buffy: But… you *threw* a *knife* at my *head.*

Merrick: And you caught it. Only the chosen one could have caught it.

This scene is amazing. This is some Aragorn-awesomness right here.

So Buffy agrees to go down to the graveyard and wait for Robert to come out so she can kill him. Say what you want about this movie, but you have to admit this Buffy is pretty awesome. She’s tough, intense, and extremely brave.

While they are waiting, Buffy gets bored and asks him for gum.I don’t know why, but that line just cracks me up.

I think it is because Merrick is all super serious and trying to get Buffy to understand what’s happening, but Buffy is just bored.

Robert awakes and Buffy has to fight and take him down.

Buffy may come off as a a stupid, silly cheerleader, but she can seriously kick butt. When Merrick gets attacked, Buffy takes out, not one but two Vampires.

Afterwards, Buffy heads home for some serious relaxing with her boyfriend Jeffrey. There we meet her parents who are so out of it. Like in the film, Heathers, they are just selfish and only into themselves.

Buffy’s Mom: Bye-Bye Bobby!

Jeffrey: Bye! She thinks my name is Bobby?

Buffy: It’s possible she thinks *my* name’s Bobby.

I’m not sure which is worse, to have parents who completely ignore you and don’t seem to care a whit, OR a parent that ignores you most of the time, while punishing you the rest (Joyce Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series).

So her parents go on their merry way, an Buffy + Jeffery spend the night together.

We know what they’re doing

Later that night Buffy awakes to a strange man in her bed.

As Lothos is wakening, the past lives of Slayers are flooding into her and crossing over to her world. It is a very weird scene and for a while keeps you guessing as to what is real and what is all in her head.

So Buffy and Merrick begin her training. Merrick is really hard on her as they have to make up their years of training. I just wonder who’s fault is that?

They never explain why Merrick is just approaching Buffy now either. And since we are on the topic, Merrick sucks! He’s creepy, rude, and mean. He keeps pushing Buffy and blaming her, when she’s still trying to get her head around the fact that her life is completely different.

Buffy: All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die. Now it may not sound too great to a sconehead like you, but I think it’s swell. And you come along and tell me I’m a member of the hairy mole club so you can *throw* things at me?

Oh ’90s. When everyone was in love with Christian Slater. I know I was.

Sorry for that, moving back on track.

So Buffy is upset with Merrick as he is pushing her too hard and punches him out.

Buffy is a total knockout, literally as it only took one punch to take Merrick down.

Buffy: Oh, wow. I-I never hit anybody before.

Merrick: Really? Well you did it perfectly.

Buffy: I didn’t even break a nail.

Yep, Buffy is awesome!

Merrick gives her some background information on Slayers and Watchers. A slayer is born every generation, being reincarnated when killed (so if you watch the beginning again you’ll notice that Kristy Swanson plays the historical slayer). Merrick trains the girls, watches them die, and then when his life is up he is reincarnated into Merrick the watcher again. A very sad existence if you ask me.

After this we get a training montage, Rocky style.

Yep you always need a montage .

Buffy has accepted everything and gets super into her training. You know it’s actually not that far-fetched that a cheerleader could be this totally awesome fighter. To be a cheerleader you have to do gymnastics, lift weights; it can be INTENSE. And with Buffy, she works hard.

She’s also been hunting at night with Merrick, and one night runs into Pike.

So because of all her training, she’s been missing practices and dance committee meetings. As always in a teen movie, the principal assumes it’s drugs.

Gary: [Thinking Buffy is doing drugs] Hey, there’s nothing to be afraid of! I know where you’re coming from. Believe me. I’ll tell you the truth. I’ve had my drug experiences, too. I did a lot – I did some acid in the Sixties. Well, the late Seventies, actually. It was at a Doobie Brother’s concert… and I could see the music flowing into me, it was bright red and electric, and I felt like a big toaster, and I thought, maybe I am a toaster, we’re all molecules, and my friend Melissa, her head looked like a big party balloon, and that scared me, I started to freak out…

The sad thing is that this is probably the only thing in a teen film that actually resembles reality. When people in power act as if they are a “pal”. Ugh.

So Buffy is really starting to feel the pressure of everything. She has Merrick constantly pushing her to do more and more; otherwise she won’t be ready and die. She has her boyfriend tired of the fact that she can’t spend her time with him, constantly getting mad at her. And she has her friends who don’t understand at all.

Kimberly: Buffy? What’s your sitch? You’re acting like the thing from another tax bracket. It’s too weird.

Buffy: Listen, a lot’s been going on you guys, okay? And I really wanted to talk to you guys about it. See, um, a couple of weeks ago, I met this guy-…

Kimberly: Oh my god, you’re having an affair?

Nicole: Cool!

Jennifer: Does Jeffrey know?

Buffy: It’s not about that. He’s, like, old. He’s fifty.

Kimberly, Nicole, Jennifer: Ewwwww!

Jennifer: Gross!

Buffy: Haven’t you guys noticed what’s been going on here? The strange things? Have you noticed people disappearing, turning up dead?

Nicole: What are you talking about?

Kimberly: Weird? You mean like hanging around with that homeless Poke?

Buffy: Pike.

Nicole: [gasp] Eww, you’re having an affair with him?

Jennifer: He doesn’t look fifty.

Buffy: Guys, I think reality stepped out of here about five minutes ago.

Yep, the pressure is mounting and to combat it, she goes Shawn Spencer on Merrick, quipping right and left.

Buffy: Does the word “duh” mean anything to you?

I love how sassy she is.

To make everything worse, it looks like Buffy’s period has come.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

but it turns out that it is just her Slayer sense.

Man that would suck.

Merrick: And you’re going to be able to use that to track them.

Buffy: Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That’s just terrific. Thanks for telling me.

Merrick: It’s not a weapon. It’s an alert system.

Buffy: Well, aren’t we kung fu? I don’t see you out there killing any vampires.

Merrick: I play my part.

Buffy: You can play with your part all you want, but it’s my neck on the block.

That night Pike is wandering around inebriated. And let me tell you I am totally not digging Luke Perry. He’s cute but that’s not enough. All we’ve seen so far is him getting high, drunk, and be nasty.

Now this is where the TV did a better job. Every person had a backstory. I mean when they brought Angel on to the show, they started him mysterious and cool, and then revealed his tragic backstory. We need MORE! We NEED a backstory! We NEED development!

One night Pike is drunk, AGAIN, and gets attacked by vampires. Luckily Merrick and Buffy are there. They save his life, AGAIN. As you have probably figured out, with Buffy being the totally awesome Slayer, Pike is her damsel in distress. I mean it’s not like he doesn’t do anything, he helps Buffy fight, becoming her partner, but still gets into trouble a lot. He’s the Sam Winchester to her Dean.

After the help him, they defeat Lothos’ right hand man Amilyn, by pulling a Star Wars and cutting off his arm. Amilyn returns to the vampire lair, with the knowledge of Buffy being the Slayer.

Meanwhile, Buffy takes Pike to her home. Pike is homeless (hence the fact that he was working as a mechanic for a home). The thing that really bothers me is that we never find out why. Were his parents horrible and he emancipated himself? Did they die? Is he an orphan? WHAT IS HIS BACKSTORY!!!!!!!!

Sorry about that. Back to the film.

So at Buffy’s home, Pike starts going on how awesome she is, but Buffy is having a hard time keeping it together. She breaks down on and lets out all her feelings.

And while we haven’t had too much development other than he’s from “the wrong side of town” and a drunk, he just listens to everything she has to say. He doesn’t try to take advantage of her, put the moves on her-nope. All he does is listen.

How sweet.

Instantly redeemed.

So the next day, Buffy is back to doing what she normally does. She is trying to hang out with her friends but the spawn of Satan, Kimberly (I’m telling you, don’t name your children that.)

Has turned them agaist her. Her boyfriend is also mad and avoiding her.

And some football player grabs her for fun.

But Buffy is not having any of that. She totally takes him down, making him learn his lesson.

Don’t mess with me!

Not kidding, after doing that this is what he says with a straight face: “I see the errors of my ways.” Hilarious & awesome!!!!

So something you might have noticed, is that there a quite a few people who have been turned into vampires. It is mostly those on the low side of the totem pole, you know the unpopulars. But there are a few popular kids too. I just wonder how no one has noticed. Well…I guess they do look pretty normal most of the time.

Hmmm….

So Buffy is going back to her regular schedule as there is a basketball game.

They do the cheer “how funky is your chicken, how loose is your goose”. Now years back when I was in middle school and only a select few had cellphones that could not get on the internet, and you couldn’t get on the school computers unless for schoolwork, people came to me with their movie questions. Now I know what you’re thinking:

But it wasn’t like that. Although how AWESOME would that be?????!!!! SUPER AWESOME!!!!!

Anyways you all know how much I love film,

Well everyone at school did too. So one of the girls was a cheerleader and they were bringing back the “how funky is your chicken, how loose is your goose” cheer. She knew it was a famous cheer and came to to find out which film it was from. I couldn’t remember the film it was first in, and when I saw this film years later i was like “of course, duh.” Oh well.

oh well

Anyways, back to the game. So Buffy is cheerleading when she notices something weird. One of the players looks completely different. It turns out that one of the guys has been turned, and as the adreneline starts pumping he starts vamping out.

And as he does so, he also starts becoming an awesome basketball player. I guess like in Teen Wolf, becoming something not human increases basketball skills?

Buffy is the only one to realize that he’s a vampire and ends up chasing him down. She finds herself in some weird place which is Lothos hideout. This is the worse place for a lair. I’m not kidding. Like there is a giant horse plant structure, and the whole place is just too obvious to be a secret hideout. Then again this is the most flamboyant Vampire I have ever seen, and he doesn’t care what others think of him.

Buffy meets Lothos and begins fighting with him, when he puts her in a trance and is about to kill her.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Merrick can’t stand that and interferes. A big watcher NO-NO. Watchers are supposed to train and then watch, no interfering.

And Lothos can’t have that. So he kills him.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?????????!!!!!!!!! THEY JUST KILLED THE WATCHER!!!!! CAN THEY DO THAT???

He’s not really dead is he? Is he? He is! He is DEAD???!!! WHAT??!!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED???!!!

Lothos and his horde leave, while Buffy hears Merrick’s dying words. He tells her she’s special and to d things HER way.

Buffy is shocked at the death and completely heartbroken.

She sufferes from shock of everything and wants to be done slaying. It scares her and hurts her and she just wants out.

She tries to hang out with her friends, but just finds them shallow and vapid. They are also selfish as they don’t want to invite every senior to the dance. Just the cool ones. She yells at them and takes off.

Her boyfriend is still ignoring her as well. She decides she is just going to be a “normal” girl and goes shopping for a dress. While she is searching for the perfect gown, she runs into Pike. The two have a huge fight as Pike can’t believe she is backing out and letting the world down.

Pike: Buffy, you’re the guy. You are the chosen guy.

Buffy: Right. I’m the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping.

Buffy just wants to be in denial as she is too scared. If she fights she will get hypnotized and die, maybe causing the death of others. If she doesn’t fight then Lothos and his group might kill a ton of people. What’s a girl to do.

After the two storm off, we discover that Benny has been hiding in the phone booth. He overheard everything and returns to the master to tell him all about it. When the master hears, he is estatic about the party and chooses it to be the best final moment of Buffy’s life.

So while Buffy is getting ready for the dance, Pike has decided to step up to the plate. He returns to his home above the mechanic shop, and grabs every bit of wood he can find, turning them into stakes.

Get ready for this!

So while I have complained about his lack of background (and it still bothers me) every scene after the one when he listened to Buffy he has risen up and up in my esteem.

How romantic

So Buffy goes to the dance and I absolutely love her outfit. She has her hair back in a no-nonsense bun, a beautiful puffy white dress, and boots. Yes boots.

It’s as if she subconsciously wanted to be ready in case something should happen.  Her boots are actually white boxing boots

I can look pretty and feminine and kick butt.

It’s awesome how hardcore she is.

Take note Hollywood

So she goes over to her boyfriend, to ask why he didn’t pick her up for the dance. And it turns out that since she wasn’t around to give him what he wanted, he broke up with her on her machine and started dating her friend.

Buffy: You left me a message?

Jeffrey: You weren’t home! Like always.

Buffy: You broke up with my machine?

What a loser.

Come on, really? That’s so wrong. He’s a loser to the max. And how could her friend date him? That’s breaking the code!

 The two leave to have sex in the parking lot and Buffy is left all alone. But not for long as Pike comes to the dance, dressed up in a button up shirt, slacks, and his leather jacket.

He brings Buffy flowers and asks her to dance with him.

How romantic

Okay, just gained 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 points! That was so sweet of him coming to the dance, especially since he’s not into that sort of thing but did it because he knew it would make her happy!

The Vampires come to the dance. Pike gives Buffy all his stakes and his jacket, while she rips her dress so it is shorter and doesn’t constrict movement. She runs to warn everyone to close the doors, as if we don’t invite them in they are unable to come. One problem, she forgot about an earlier conversation.

Buffy: Don’t worry. They can’t come in unless they’re invited.

Kimberly: I already invited ’em. [Buffy looks at her] They’re seniors!

Yes, Buffy was being a good person telling her friends to invite all seniors, and unknowingly just caused one huge problem.

Now when the Vampires come in we really reach a horror/comedy pinnacle. A Com-Ror as I like to say. It’s cheesy, but fun.

Except for the Vampire DJ, that was dumb.

So the fight begins. Some parts are silly, others creepy. I still haven’t gotten over seeing Pee-Wee Herman as a vicious vampire. It’s just does not compute that this is the same guy.

Benny tries to convince Pike to turn vampire, and in a bizarre way, channels Christian Slater’s character J.D from Heathers. Talking about people being sheep and this chaos is better, etc. That makes Pike his Winona/Veronica. The only problem is that Benny is nowhere near as hot.

So they kids inside are following Pike and Buffy’s lead trying to take down the vampires, while Buffy heads out to do a throwdown with Lothos.

She takes down Pee-Wee, his right hand man (horrible death scene) and heads down to Lothos. The two fight, with Buffy surprising him with a flame torch made out of hairspray and a cross.

AWESOME!!!

She then stakes him! BUFFY ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She and Pike ride off on his motorcycle, as the dumb principal hands out detention slips to the dead vampires:

Gary: [Throwing detention slips on the dead vampires] Detention [Walks to another body]… detention [Walks to another body]… detention. [Throws 2 more slips on the same body. Says quickly]Detention, detention.

And the rest of the group is interviewed about what happened.

So How Does It Hold Up?

Some parts of it seem a bit underdeveloped, mainly backstories of the characters. And at times it can be cheesy or silly, but on a whole I loved it.

Yes, I LOVED IT!!!!! The series on a whole is better, as it has more time to devote to the characters, but this movie was awesome. Buffy is incredible.

It’s a great film if you are looking for something funny and silly, but with a horror twist.

To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to Psycho Strangers: The Girl He Met Online (2014)

For more on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to Heaven on Earth

For more on vampires, go to Monster Movie: Supernatural (2008)

For more Com-Rors, go to Someone Very Special: The Addams Family Values (1993)

For more David Arquette, go to Don’t F*** with the Original: Scre4m (2011)

A FANtastic Voyage

Yes…

My Fangirl posts are back! You see I had to take a break from them for my Romance is in the Air: Part III posts as I counted down to Valentines Day with my favorite romantic moments from films. I would have started again on the 15th, but I realized that was the 30th anniversary of The Breakfast Club, and decided that I had to do a post on that.

So here we are once again going through some of the things that I hardcore fangirl over.

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman

I haven’t seen this show in a long time but it used to be a real favorite of mine. When I was growing up, my mom loved this show and we would watch it together. I had a huge thing for Byron Sully (Joe Lando).

So Dr. Michaela “Mike” Quinn (Jane Seymour) is a wealthy, Bostonian, physician. In the series start (1867), Dr. Quinn is tired of the way people treat a “woman doctor”, and decides to leave for the West. She settles in Colorado Springs, Colorado; and finds life much tougher then she realized. Byron Sully, rugged outdoorsman and friend to the Cheyenne, helps her settle in and the two end up falling for each other. She also receives help from a midwife, but when she is bitten by a rattlesnake and dies; Dr. Quinn finds herself taking on the role as mother as she raises the midwife’s children; Matthew, Colleen, and Brian. Now Dr. Quinn is trying to adjust to the West, figure out how to take care of three children who just lost their mother, and prove to the world that a “woman doctor” is a real doctor.

I loved this as I loved Westerns, and Dr. Quinn becoming a doctor in a world that didn’t really wish to accept it was empowering.

For more Westerns, go to Fandom Love

Gargoyles

Gargoyles was a TV show I grew up watching as a kid and was super into. My friends and I would go around reenacting the show and creating our own stories.

It’s a little hard to give a synopsis of the show, but I’ll give it my best shot. In 10th century Scotland, Gargoyles work to defend their castle. They are statues during the day, but as soon as night falls they are able to roam about. They saved Prince Malcolm, who in turn built them a castle where they could rest in the day promising to protect them. Years later his daughter Princess Katherine is in control and she hates the gargoyles. She is betrayed by someone she trusts to the Vikings, who attack in the day and destroy all the gargoyles…or at least the think they do. Unknown to them, Goliath, the leader, survived along with a few of his friends. They return to kill the Vikings and the betrayer, discovering it was a close friend. Their arrival causes the Viking leader to take away Princess Katherine, intent on killing her. Believing Princess Katherine dead, her advisor curses them, turning all but Goliath into stone. He returns with the Princess, who demands the advisor change them back. He can’t, but turns Goliath into stone, so he can be reunited with his friends.

A hundred years later, a wealthy businessman, Xanatos, finds the castle and has it transported to New York City, building it on top of his skyscraper and  causing it to rise above the clouds, breaking the spell. The Gargoyles try to adapt to this new world, eventually teaming up with the biracial (Nigerian and Native American) NYPD detective. They also discover there is more to Xantos then they thought, that more of their kind exist then thought before, and a huge melding of mythology, Shakespeare, magic, sorcery, etc.

My favorite characters of the series was Goliath and he was just so awesome, brave, stoic, brooding, bold, etc. I also loved his daughter Angela, who was sweet and nice.

Hercules: The Legendary Journeys 

When I was a child I loved reading mythology and fairy tales. One that I was really into was the Greek myths and reading the stories of the gods and goddess. As one of my favorite characters was Hercules, this show was perfect for me.

The show was based on the Greek myths, but also borrowed stories and features from Egyptians, Middle Easterns, Asians, and Medieval Europe. I used to watch this every day after school and I just thought it was amazing.

Of course, that all had to do with Hercules. Not only did I think Hercules was extremely attractive (I had a real thing for guys with long hair for a while), but stoic, brave, kind, and altogether one amazing guy. I was really sad when it ended, but as we all know the good shows don’t last forever.

Lord of the Rings

 

So I LOVE Lord of the Rings!

Yep, I’m a hardcore Lord of the Rings fangirl.

Thank you Ed

It’s funny, but in the beginning I was set against it. My mom had been reading in the newspaper about Peter Jackson’s upcoming film and wanted to see it. My sister agreed as she was like free ticket, but I was not so sure. Some guy with a ring that only he could control and destroy (that’s what the synopsis sounded like) in a three hour film? It seemed done before, boring, and long. So they went and I stayed home. When they came back they were ecstatic about the film and said my dad and I would have to come with. I wasn’t interested, but forced. When we got to the theater and started watching it, I LOVED IT!!! From that moment on Lord of the Rings had entered my fandom.

My parents read the books right away but I just enjoyed the films for awhile. In The Fellowship of the Ring, Bilbo Baggins, a hobbit, has been holding onto a ring for many, many years. Bilbo is planning on going on a trip, taking the ring along, when his friend Gandalf the Grey (a wizard), visited for his birthday and spotted it with him. He convinces him to leave it behind with everything for his nephew Frodo Baggins, and Bilbo is on his way. Gandalf feels unease about the ring and leaves it with Frodo, while he goes off to investigate. Gandalf returns after he has discovered that ring belonged to the dark lord Sauron. It was supposed to be destroyed, but when he was defeated the king took the ring instead. It was moved about as every where it went it’s owner was killed or murdered. Eventually Gollum found it, and it was then stolen by Bilbo who has been sitting on it for years. Gandalf quickly moves Frodo out, unwillingly taking along Bilbo’s gardener, Samwise Gamgee, and Frodo’s relatives Peregrin Took (Pipin), and Meriadoc Brandybuck (Merry). The group splits off from Gandalf and are set to meet up with him, after Gandalf questions his old teacher Saruman, who unbeknownst to Gandalf has become evil. Frodo is anxious that they still haven’t seen Gandalf, and end up receiving help from Strider (Viggo Mortenson) a ranger. I loved Viggo Mortenson so much in this film. I thought he was amazing, brave, bold, and utterly handsome.

He turns out to be Aragorn, the true king of Gondor who was sent to live with the elves for his safety. He sets them off for Lothlórien to the elves. While the head out they are attacked by the Nazgul. They run away to Lothlórien where Frodo is saved by the elves. There they form a fellowship to protect Frodo and the ring, making sure they get it to Mount Doom, the only place it can be destroyed. The group is the hobbits: Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pipin; the wizard Gandalf; Gimli the dwarf; Legolas the elf; Aragorn; and the steward of Gondor’s son Boromir. They head out facing many challenges along the way.

The Two Towers is the next part of the tale. In this the fellowship has been split up. Frodo took off on his own, but not quite as Sam won’t let him. They journey on to Mordor guided by Golem, who wants his ring back. Gandalf sacrificed himself for the group when they were in the Mines of Moria, but turns out is not dead. He has been returned as Gandalf the White, the highest form a wizard can be. Merry and Pipin were taken by Orcs in the last film, and they are being carried to Mordor. When the Orcs fight between the old creations and newer ones, they manage to escape and go into Fangorn Forest. There they meet up with the Ents, the tree shepherds. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli have been tracking Merry and Pipin to save them and run into Gandalf. He tells them to not worry about Pipin and Merry they will be safe with the Ents, but takes them onto Rohan to help protect the country and save their king in a battle against Saruman.

Return of the King is the last in the series and my favorite. In fact I waited for when this film was released on DVD and bought it immediately. In this we have the final battle between good and evil. Frodo and Sam have been split up, as Golem and the ring have poisoned his mind. He ends up being attacked by a giant creature and captured, taken to Mordor. Gandalf and Pipin have gone to Gondor, as it is being attacked by Sauron’s forces. Rohan is going to send their aid, being led by Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli. But there is a surprise, the elf Elrond has come to the battle, bringing the Andúril, the sword from the first fight, that was broken and then reforged. He sends Aragorn into the mountains to bring in an army of the dead. This movie was awesome and it is one that I can watch over and over again.

Now I love to do marathons

So my sister and I have done Lord of the Rings quite a few times. One time though, we decided we were going to do all the extended versions. It was an intense, all-day thing. It was a whole lot of fun.

At a book sale I bought all the three books. The Fellowship of the Ring and The Return of the King were both the movie editions, but my copy of Two Towers is from the ’70s. Anyways I read the books and I think they did a great job bringing the characters to life in the film. Here are my only issues with the books and film, now after reading them.

The Fellowship of the Ring-I thought the film version did the best with this book. The book spans a lot more time, for instance Frodo has the ring for years before Gandalf returns, which they cut out. There also is a lot of extra stuff I am glad they cut, such as when Frodo spends years in Tom Bombadil’s perfect paradise of a forest. I would have cut that from the whole book as it was SUPER boring. The only thing I wish they included was the part when the elf Galadriel gives each member of the fellowship a gift.

The Two Towers-I thought this was good too, film and movie. In the movie the elves come to fight like in the original battle, but they weren’t supposed to come until the last book. I think it would have been better symmetry if they had, but no big qualms with book or film.

The Return of the King– In the book J.R.R. Tolkien goes through each person’s story all the way to the end, and then moves onto the next character. I liked in the movie how they switch back and forth, as when you read you are really curious what happens to this specific character, but also want to know what happened to everyone else. Like Sir Walter Scott’s Ivanhoe. In that he had so many characters involved and in their many adventures, but switches between them all so we get a better picture as to what is occurring at the same time. The effects, set up, and whole film was amazing! The only thing I might have added was more depth to Faramir and Eowyn’s romance, as we only get a few glimpses. Also Saruman has had his fingers all over Middle Earth causing destruction. When Merry, Pipin, Frodo, and Sam return, they have to battle for the Shire to save it from Saruman. That was cut from the film, but it would have been cool to have it in.

On a whole they did an amazing job! J.R.R. Tolkien in his writing and Peter Jackson with his films.

For more on Lord of the Rings, go to Food, Food, Food!

Madeleine L’Engle

Madeleine L’Engle is one of my favorite writers. I started reading her books when I was a kid, and have loved them ever since. Even though the ones below are considered Children’s Fiction or Teen Fiction; I still read them over and over and over again. 

So Madeleine L’Engle is a Christian writer, but she likes to cover lots of other things in her books as well: science, philosophy, politics, music, poetry, literature, ethics, etc. All of her books carry really heavy subjects that just make them even more enjoyable. Below I have listed all the books of hers that I have read, in the order I think is the best to read them in.

 

A Wrinkle in Time– This is the book that started the whole time quartet series. In this book the Murry family has moved to New England in recent times. Many people are wary of them as both Mr. and Mrs. Murry are scientists. Mr. Murry is often called upon to go to Washington D.C for the President or Pentagon. He left for a trip about a year ago, and has yet to return. Many think he abandoned the family, but his wife and children have faith that he will return. Meg is the eldest, she wears glasses and braces and thinks herself unattractive.

She has a lot of problems making friends as she has a temper, she also has issues in school as the math is too far below her. After Meg are the twins, Alexander (Sandy) and Dionysus (Dennys). Both the twins excel in sports, school, and friendship. Last is Charles Wallace, only five years old and a genius. He tries to hide it, but still can’t pass off being “normal.”

One dark and stormy night; three women come in with the wind and set Meg, Charles Wallace, and a popular boy from school, Calvin O’Keefe on quite the adventure. Mrs. Which, Mrs. Who, and Mrs,Whatsit tells the trio that they need them in order to save Mr. Murry who is caught in the 5th dimension. This adventure takes them on a ride through psychics, time travel, tessering, and other planets.

This book was also turned into a film that was pretty good and had the cute guy from Everwood playing Calvin O’Keefe.

A Wind in the Door– This is a sequel to A Wrinkle in Time. Calvin and Meg are friends and romantically interested in each. Things aren’t perfect; their father is still called away on long trips, Meg still gets into trouble at school, and Charles is still picked on; but they seem to be better. That is until they notice that something is going wrong with Charles Wallace. He seems paler, more tired, and just not himself. When Charles Wallace tells Meg he has seen dragons in the garden, she really becomes worried. But these dragons are actually a Cherubim sent there to help Meg defeat the Echthroi who are trying to erase the universe. Meg, Calvin, the cherubim, and her principal Mr. Jenkins find themselves on an adventure through the town, plants, and into Charles’ mitochondria.

Many Waters– This is actually the fourth book in the series, but reads better as the third book. In this Sandy and Dennys, who had heard of their siblings crazy adventures, find themselves going on their own trip through time! When the boys accidentally mess with their father’s experiment in the lab, they find themselves sent back to the time of Noah, right before he builds his ark for the coming flood. There they encounter the biblical figures along with manticores, unicorns, Nephilum, and Seraphim.

A Swiftly Tilting Planet– In this book Meg is grown up, married to Calvin, and pregnant with their first child. The twins are now a lawyer and a doctor. Charles Wallace is a teenager, but still as advanced as ever. They are celebrating Thanksgiving, (minus Calvin as he got held up in conference in England), with Calvin’s mother Mrs. O’Keefe. That night there are threats of Vespugia’s leader, Mad Dog Branzillo, starting nuclear warfare and WWIII. As Charles Wallace goes to the garden, he meets up with the unicorn Gaudior. Gaudior was sent to help Charles travel through time and meld with different historical figures in order to change the past, so that they might change the future. This is one of my all-time favorites of her series.

Meet the Austins– This is a different series, but as all of hers connect and crossover, it makes a lot of sense to start reading it now. Mr. Austin is a country doctor in New England. He and his wife have four kids: John, Vicky, Susie, and Rob and an assortment of animals. They live a contented life, but that all changes when a family friend dies. The Austins quickly welcome the orphaned daughter, Maggy, into their home and she causes all kinds of chaos and uproar. Will their lives ever be the same again?

The Moon By Night– Book two brings radical changes for the Austin family. Maggy, who has become a daughter and sister, is leaving them to be with her legal guardian. John is heading off to college, and the Austins are moving to New York for a year. Before the move, they head out for a cross-country trip of the United States. Vicky should be happy and having fun, but instead finds the changes unsettling, along with trying to figure out who she is. She meets a boy named Zachary Gray, who is so unlike her, and confuses her on what friendship and love are.

The Arm of the Starfish- Adam Eddington III has wanted to be a marine biologists for a very long time. Every summer he has interned with a doctor that lives near his grandma’s home, but this year he has received a much different post. This year he will be interning in Portugal, under the guidance of Dr. O’Keefe (Calvin O’Keefe from the A Wrinkle in Time series). On his way there, he meets a beautiful girl at the airport, Kali, who warns him that Dr. O’Keefe is not as nice as he seems, but working against his government. She asks him to spy on Dr. O’Keefe for her father. Adam is unsure of what to do, and when he boards his plane, ends up running into Polly O’Keefe, Dr. O’Keefe’s daughter, and her godfather Canon Tallis. Adam quickly finds this summer being more than he bargained for as he is caught up in a world of science, espionage, and double agents. Adam doesn’t know who to trust as the more time he spends with the O’Keefe’s the more he likes them, while at the same time every moment he spends with Kali is better than the one before.

The Young Unicorns- The Austins have moved to New York and encounter a much different world. They rent the top part of an old Victorian house. Below them lives Emily, the daughter of a Greek professor, and recently blinded in a robbery gone wrong. They also have befriended Dave, an ex-gang member and now Emily’s tutor; along with Mr. Theotocopoulos, Emily’s piano teacher. The Austins find themselves caught in a horrible plot as people are after the invention that Dr. Austin is working on and are not afraid to use any means necessary to obtain it. Someone is trying to control the city as they have orginized the gang, the Alpha-Bats (Dave’s old group) and preparing them for a battle. Canon Tallis is called in by his old friend to discover who could be the head of the group, and whether it could be coming from one of the leaders of the Catholic Church.

A Ring of Endless Light- The year in New York has ended and the Austin’s will be returning home after one more stop. Vicky’s grandfather is very sick, so the Austins plan on staying that summer on the small island he resides on. John also happens to be interning there for the summer, introducing the Austins to his newest friend, Adam Eddington III. Vicky and Adam become very close, with Vicky helping assist him in his project with dolphins. However, Adam is still reeling from the betrayal that occurred in Portugal and isn’t getting as close to her as Vicky would like. Also, Zachary Gray returns on the scene, once again bringing trouble, confusion, and questions in Vicky’s life.

This was also turned into a movie: starring Mischa Barton as Vicky, Ryan Merriman as Adam, and Jared Padalecki as Zachary. It was a DCOM so sadly it is hard to find a copy of this film.

Troubling a Star- The last of the Austin series. The Austins (minus John) have returned home to New England countryside. Everyone has been able to bounce back but Vicky. She finds it hard to relate after all her adventures and changes. Adam introduces her to his Aunt Serena, who Vicky immediately becomes close to. Adam is planning on going to Antarctica for a semester, and for Vicky’s birthday, Serena plans on sending Vicky as well. Vicky is excited for her trip, but also worried as Adam’s letters become cold, closed off, and eventually stop altogether. Vicky is sad, but concentrates on her trip; finding herself caught in political intrigue and an age-old unsolved mystery.

Dragons in the Waters- When thirteen year-old Simon Renier boards the M.S. Orion with his cousin Forsyth Phair, he has no idea what he is getting himself into. A trip that is supposed to be easy and beautiful; taking a painting of Simon Bolivar back to its native land, turns out to be anything but; as murder, political intrigue, smuggling, and a century old secret turn this trip into one exciting adventure. Simon tries to solve the case with the help of Polly and Charles O’Keefe (who are traveling with their father), Mr. Theotocopoulos (who is traveling to see Emily perform) and Canon Tallis.

For the previous fandom post, go to A Fantabulous Post

And stay tuned for part 10

For more book filled posts, go to The Biggest Bill You Should Be Paying

For more on Disney, go to Well I Feel Sheepish: Chinese New Year

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Helping Hands

For more Pirates of the Caribbean, go to Push All the Buttons!

Food, Food, Food!

Let’s talk about food.

It’s like I’m a hobbit or something

And of course after I eat I feel like a fatty

Like every time

But how can I when food is so good!???!

Yeah…so

But you know what? Food is always there for you:

So you know what, I’ve decided to give up the fight.

I’m gonna just enjoy those fatty foods

How could I live without fries? You can’t

And Nachos:

Pizza:

I love Pizza

Cheese:

Pie:

Cookies?

Yep:

But you know what:

I agree

Thank you Julia for approving of my life choices. After all

And BTW:

I want to end this post honoring those who died on 9/11. Thank you to those who helped out in the aftermath, and an even greater thank you to those who gave their lives. We owe a debt to you and your families that we can never repay.

“That I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.”

-God Bless the U.S.A.

For more on Lord of the Rings, go to Lord of the Cats

For more on Lydia Bennet, go to How to Catch a Man

For more on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, go to Pizza Power

For more on Mean Girls, go to Just Can’t Get a Break

For more on Jim Davis, go to For All the Men Who Wonder What It’s Like

For more on Friends (TV Show), go to I Will Survive

For more on Joey Tribbiani, go to I Don’t Wanna Be in Love (Dance Floor Anthem)

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Here I Go

Lord of the Cats

So everybody loves crossovers! Right! Well I know I do. Usually my fav are film crossovers, but ones done with cats are just as good!

Aren’t they sooooooo cute!!!! Gandalf cat with a little hat. The hobbits are little kittens. The Legolas and Aragorn are so adorable I just want them for myself! 🙂 Aw, so, so cute. I love cats if you can’t tell. I also love Lord of the Rings so it is purrfect! 🙂

For more Lord of the Rings inspired posts, check out What is Immortality Without You?

What is Immortality Without You?: The Two Towers (2002)

Romantic Moment #8

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

So The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, is based on the book series, The Lord of the Rings,  by J.R.R. Tolkien. I loved both the books and the films and highly recommend both (jeez I feel like I say this all the time).

Anyways so The Two Towers is the second book in the series. For those of you who have not read/watched these, to catch up on the first film click here. So in this film the fellowship has been broken up.  Frodo and Sam have separated from everyone else and are trying to reach Mordor to throw in the ring. They run into Gollum, who has been corrupted by the evil of the ring and is determined to get it back. Frodo takes pity on Gollum and has him lead them. Frodo, Sam and Gollum travel through the Dead Marshes, evading a Nazgûl. They come upon the Black Gate but find it heavily guarded by Orcs. Gollum convinces the pair that he will lead them to an unguarded entrance, but on this new path they are captured by the Rangers of Ithilien, who is lead by Faramir, who is also Boromir‘s brother. Frodo reveals Gollum’s presence to save him, but he is captured and mistreated by the Rangers. Faramir has the Hobbits taken to Osgiliath, where they are attacked by Orcs led by a Nazgûl. Faramir frees Sam and Frodo and sends them on their way, joined by Gollum. Gollum decides that he will find another way to get the ring.

Pippin and Merry have been captured by Orcs, and just barely managed to escape from them and flee into the Fangorn Forest. They meet Treebeard, one of the Ents.  Treebeard and the Ents don’t want to get involved, but when Pippin tricks him to go by Isengard, they discover that Saruman the White has cut down all the trees; completely decimating the area. They join in the war, defeat the Uruk-hai and break the river dam; drowning the surviving Orc defenders, flooding Isengard, and stranding Saruman in his tower.

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli pursue the Uruk-hai, in their attempt to save Merry and Pippin. They run into King Théoden of Rohan’s nephew Éomer who has been banished along with all the other great warriors. They have killed all the Orcs, but the trio is determined to find them. They go into Fangorn Forest where they are confronted by Gandalf, reborn as Gandalf the White. They travel to Rohan, where King Théoden has been entranced and physically weakened by Gríma Wormtongue, who is secretly in the service of Saruman. The four of them free Théoden from Gríma’s spell, and inform the king of his son Théodred‘s death. As Saruman’s forces attack Rohan, Théoden moves his people to the stronghold Helm’s Deep for safety. Gandalf leaves to find Éomer and the other riders. Théoden’s forces travel to Helm’s Deep, and are attacked by Saruman’s Warg riders, in which Aragorn is thrown from a cliff to his apparent death in a raging river. Arwen saves him, guiding him back to safety, even though her father Elrond has been trying to convince her to leave Middle-Earth forever. Meanwhile, Éowyn, Théoden’s niece, starts falling for Aragorn. Aragorn washes up on the river bank and makes his way to Helm’s Deep. They and a battalion of Elves led by Haldir join Rohan’s troop and help them fight the Uruk-hai. Gandalf appears, accompanied by Éomer and his men. Their combined forces defeat the Orcs.

Most Romantic Moment:

So during this film we have a flashback scene between Arwen and Aragorn that is soooo romantic. So Arwen has given up her immortality for Aragorn. She loves him so much that she would rather spend a shorter life with him than an eternity without him. She gives him the Evenstar so that he will never forget how her love for him is unending.

“Arwen: I choose a mortal life.

Aragorn: You cannot give me this.

Arwen: It is mine to give to whom I will. Like my heart.”

So romantic!

And to make this an even more swoonworthy scene, Aragorn gives it back. He loves her, but because he loves her he wants more for her. He wants her to have a long life with her family and to find someone else who can live forever with her. Aw, he just loves her so much that he wants only the best for her. Even if that makes him sad, lonely, and breaks his heart into a million pieces.

But to make that even more romantic! (The romance is just piling on). Arwen refuses to take the Evenstar back. She knows that he is trying to do what’s best, but what he hasn’t realized is that, while he might not be the best choice (a mortal), he is the best one for her.

So she leaves it with him. Letting him know that no matter what she still loves him and would choose him over immortality any day.

I want a relationship like Arwen and Aragorn

For more on the Lord of the Rings go to A Horse’s Tale