My Favorite Martian

How many of you out there are artists or crafters? Hands up.

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Well as all artists or crafters will tell you, when we are at work things can get messy.

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From splattered aprons…

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To residue under our fingernails and dyed skin.

It was awful!

Not to mention burns from hot glue guns, kilns, etc.

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Well the experience I had the other day was quite different then I’ve ever had.

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So this month at work we are all about space; astronauts, aliens, the sun, planets, etc.

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So the other day our theme was the moon. We pretended to be walking on it, read some adorable books: Moon Rope by Lois Ehle, Kitten’s First Full Moon by Kevin Henkes, and Happy Birthday Moon by Frank Asch (all some of my favorites).

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After, it was time for our craft in which we were making moon rocks.

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I was following the recipe the Crafty Chicks gave out, but things didn’t go exactly as expected.

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So the recipe was drier than I expected. We kept trying to make the balls but they weren’t sticking together.

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But never fear. I am a prime tortilla and pie dough maker, so I know exactly what to do in this situation, add more water.

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So I knead it all together like making pie or tortillas and it comes out great. Except that now my hands are dyed a very dark green.

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Yes, the food coloring I used to dye the rocks came off on my hands, like the Crafting Chicks said it would, but I was not prepared for how much.

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My hands were super dark green. And then when I went to wash the, it wouldn’t come off.

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I tried as much as I could, but they were too stained. Guess I should’ve worn gloves.

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The kids all said I looked like an alien.

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I told them, maybe I am an alien and my human makeup came off…

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But they knew I was just joking. Although it did make me want to go out and say “Klaatu barada nikto” like in The Day the Earth Stood Still.

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But there is a limited demographic that will understand what I’m saying. That is what happens when you are an old soul.

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It still was weird walking around with green hands. I kept getting all these strange looks from people as they were trying to figure out why my hands looked like that.

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But such is the life!

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For more on stories from my everyday life, go to Escape to Alcatraz

For more on aliens, go to Someone Has Erased His Memory: Total Recall (1990)

I Can’t Pretend, I Have to Be: Casual Sex? (1988)

Most Romantic Moment #1

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So you are probably wondering what am I doing watching this movie, well it wasn’t really the one I wanted. You see I was at Big Lots and they were having a 20% everything sale. That sounded great to me, so I went and looked around. I found a DVD set for $4, of which three were Michael J. Fox films and the other two were ones I had never heard of.

AWESOME!!!

AWESOME!!!

Well you all know how I feel about Michael J. Fox

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I love him, so this seemed like a deal too good to pass up.

So my friend and I were watching some of the films, when we decide to check out this one, Casual Sex?, as we both like Lea Thompson.

I have to admit this movie surprised me a lot. It was rated “R” but didn’t really show anything, you know nothing like Game of Thrones, and actually dealt with the issues of sex. How you can get diseases, pregnant, sometimes the person just wants you for the sex, how sometimes you get involved with a person and they turn out to be nothing like you expect; and how hard it can be to meet anyone whether you desire sex or a relationship. It was pretty good.

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So the film is about two women, Stacey and Michelle, who have not had the best luck in love.

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Stacey is constantly falling for artists, of which she not only changes herself for them but they always leave her in the lurch.

Melissa has only been with two men, and the second one, her ex-fiancé broke up with her as he was “going through a selfish phase.” Ugh, Men.

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The girls decide to leave the LA area and head on some kind of getaway in hopes to meet the perfect man.

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They decide to head to a health spa in which they meet a variety of possibilities. There is Vinny “the Vin Man” from New Jersey who hits on everybody and is always talking about his “attributes.”

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Jamie, one of the spa workers who seems sweet and caring:

You're so cute

Matthew, a psychologist, who is looking for material for his newest book on psycho-sexual tendencies of pre-menopausal females.

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And Nick, a fitness instructor who dreams of becoming a rock star.

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Will the girls find the man of their dreams? Or will they be disappointed once again?

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Most Romantic Moment: From Vin Man to Vincent

So the most romantic moment comes from the most unlikely source, Vincent otherwise known as Vinny or the Vin Man.

Vincent is from New Jersey, a pre Michael “The Situation”. He is gross, annoying, and just doesn’t understand that women are not interested in crudity.

Men

Men

However, as he keeps striking out with the women, one of the spa instructors gives him a book, The Pretend You’re Sensitive Handbook.

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He tries it out on Stacey, but as she has her own stuff going on she wants nothing to do with it.

Vinny: Stacy, how nice to see you. Do you have a few minutes? I mean, it occurred to me, I don’t even know where you work.

Stacy: Where I work?

Vinny: Yeah, you know, your career plans, your dreams, your aspirations… I really want to hear all about them.

Stacy: What I want? I don’t even know — ask me what anyone else wants. Give me three seconds, I’ll figure out your whole entire life.

Vinny: Would you maybe want to share something with me about your childhood, perhaps?

Stacy: Vinny, what the hell are you talking about? I’m in a big rush. Look, I have to go talk to Melissa, because if I don’t figure out something about my life soon, I’m going to crack!

Vinny: I respect your strength, Stacy, and I think you’ve got a lot of potential!

After striking out once again, Vinny runs to the spa instructor and tells him that he can’t do this. He can’t pretend, he has to be it. He decides to leave, catching a ride with Stacey to the bus stop. There we see a look at the real Vinny as he asks Stacey for advice. He wants to have a real relationship with a woman; like a friendship but more, but doesn’t know what to do. What do women want?

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She doesn’t have the answers and drops him off at the bus station. We think that is the last of him, but then we are given this surprise.

Stacy: [reading] ‘Dear Stacy, I hope you don’t mind me writing to you…

 Yes, Vinny writes Stacy a letter and tells her about how his life has been changing. He wants to be a different person, but no more pretending, he’s going all the way. He starts reading books,

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Cooking, changing his wardrobe to more appropriate clothing (and no more super “Vs” showing off the chest,

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Giving up all those aspects of the Vin Man and transforming himself, from the inside out, into a new person, Vincent.

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The sweetest, most romantic thing about this is that he made all these changes on his own, no “promise of getting the girl”, no other motivation than he wanted to be better and strove for it, turning himself from jerk to heartthrob. And once he feels his change is complete, he travels from Jersey to LA to see Stacy and prove that he is not only a new man, but ready for a real relationship.

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What a guy!

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For more Valentine’s posts, go to Now That I’ve Met You, I Can’t Imagine Life Without You: Sabrina (1954)

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For more ’80s films, go to We’re in the Future: Goodbye 2015

For more Jane Austen quotes, go to We Wish You a Merry Christmas