Jane Austen Birthday Party: Croquet

So as you know if you have been following my page, I just celebrated my 29th birthday with a Jane Austen Garden Tea Party.

Party time!

Some of you might be wondering why I am so extensively going through all the party planning and it was because I had been planning to have this two years ago, in my last year of being a Jane Austen heroine (Anne Elliot) but life got in the way so I decided to wait and now I’ve finally been able to have it.

So far we have gone over invitations, decorations, prizes, and how to make your own piñata, etc. Now I ended up having four games, but I know not everyone is interested in being a part of games-and I had four little girls who needed something to occupy themselves with. So I started thinking what else could I offer my party guests?

So the first thing I had planned was paper fan making. I thought the young girls would have a lot of fun making those, plus if the adults got overheated they could make one too.

But that would only occupy them for a short while. So I started thinking of something else to have…

Hmm…?

So one thing I really, really wanted to have at my party was croquet. I love croquet, but I wanted it not only because I like the game but because I wanted to be like Austenland.

Ah, if only I had JJ Feild: Mr. Tilney or Mr. Nobley. I’d settle for any of them.

I’m all about him!

So I started looking and I couldn’t find any croquet sets that weren’t costing an arm and a leg. I searched everywhere, every site I could think of and just gave up. I thought I would just have to find something else to do.

Sigh

But then in April, about two weeks before my party was planned, I went antiquing with some friends. I found some teacups, mugs, and other things in this amazing multilevel store. As I went to go outside to the shed, I spotted something sad, forlorn, dirty, and ignored.

I’m not sure how old it is, but it is certainly vintage. I got the set (minus the arches) for $30

This set needed a lot of work, someone had not been kind and left them out in the elements: they were dirty, full of cobwebs, the paint was peeling, etc. And of course after I purchased this set every site then had full new croquet sets for sale.

Oh well…

So I set to work taking care of it. I had to clean everything, then sanitize it, paint it, and in the end varnish it. I had a lot of help, which was good, as this was tiring.

From The Iron Giant

And I think it came out pretty great.

The official rules of croquet were published in the mid 1800s, but people had been playing long before that.

For those who don’t know, the game of croquet is a race of hitting balls on the lawn. Similar to golf, one must hit their ball but through an arch or hoop to score points, then tap the pole at the end to win.

  1. The role of play is on the wickets and the peg, you must play in the order of the colors.
  2. The first player gets one strike and whacks their ball in an effort to get it through the hoop.
  3. Each player gets one shot and they are played in turn (unless extra shots get earned).
  4. Running a hoop‘ (passing through the correct hoop) gains one extra shot. Hitting one of the other three balls (a roquet) gets you two extra shots as well.
  5. You can hit another ball (make a roquet) and earn two extra shots. In this case the first of those (the croquet stroke) must get played by placing it in contact with the roquet ball. To do that, you move your ball and place it anywhere in contact with the ball that got hit. The roqueted ball must move or shake with the next strike.
  6. Balls can get struck off the lawn. How I’ve always played is like golf, you hit where it lands. But official UK rules say that if a ball is knocked out of bounds, you may move it one meter inside the lawn.
  7. Players must hit each ball clean and without moving any other balls, hoops, or pegs. The best croquet strategy is to strike the balls with the face of the mallet to make a clean shot. (Or as seen in the Austenland video, hold you ball with your foot, and smack it into another to move them out of the way.)
  8. The ball gets removed from play once it hits the peg at the end of the course.
  9. You score one point for getting the ball through each hoop. You get an extra point for hitting the peg. First person or team to do so, wins!

We played with it, the young girls did as well, and we all had a great time.

I’ve been having so much fun sharing all these things with you, and even though the party has ended I will be continuing to share all my other party plans!

For more of my Jane Austen Birthday plans, go to Jane Austen Birthday Party: Paper Fan Making

For more Jane Austen party ideas, go to Jane Austen Birthday Party: Decorations

For more Jane Austen games, go to Marrying Mr. Darcy: The Pride and Prejudice Card Game

Desire & Decorum: Chapter 11, The Clock Runs Out Part III

 

So as you can see in the title, I didn’t get to finish this chapter. This has been an expensive chapter.

Creators of Choices

It has been two months, so quick recap.

From the beginning.

First of all, this chapter starts off with a warning:

This chapter contains scenes of implied sexual violence that may be upsetting to some players. Discretion is advised.

What does that mean? This sounds bad…

Hmmm…

In the last part, I found out that my father is dying, and instead of keeping it from my arch-enemy, my stepbrother Mr. Marcastle, I told him. He has been trying to destroy me, but it is his father too. Family, right?

While I am commiserating, my maid Briar gives me a stack of love letters. Of course I want to read them-maybe something sweet about my parents or even useful information that can help me is in them?

I discovered that my grandfather is the one that tore my parents apart. Shortly after my stepbrother’s fiance warns me that I need to hurry home as my stepbrother and stepmother are plotting against me. As I was about to leave, I ran into the Duke Richards who is not interested in me saying no to him, he threatens me and now I have the option to strike back. You know what I am going to do.

I verbally filet him and make it clear-I’m not interested in him at all!

Unfortunately, being told no, just set the Duke “afire”. He then tries to attack me, but I evade him and kick him in the balls.

ninjaAustenlandfightkickpunch

As he writhes in pain he continues to insult me, and laughs at my interest in Mr. Sinclaire and calling him a gentleman. For those of you who may have forgotten, Mr. Sinclaire is a gentleman who was very good friends with my father, gives off the Mr. Darcy vibes, and one of your possible love interests (the one I’m leaning toward). I mean how can I not-he’s so Mr. Darcy.

That was defintely worth the diamonds I spent.

But its not over, unfortunately-the Duke gets up and grabs me, he’s not letting me go easily. In fact, I’m sure he has very unsavory plans for me. I’m surprised though, I know I’m lower than him, but I am an Earl’s daughter, not just a maid or serving girl. I mean, there would be repercussions. But before anything could happen who should come marching in?

Yay! Aw yeah, Mr. Sinclaire, and with a sword!

The Duke tries to shrug off Mr. Sinclaire but Mr. Sinclaire knows him too well and takes a firm stand, edging his sword closer to the Duke. Yeah, show him!

Th Duke gets scared off…for now. But we will worry about him later, I have a dying dad and a handsome hero. I was sure relived when he came and he admits he was too, and that he has feelings for me.

But why is he here? Mr. Sinclaire saw the Duke coming over and found that his feet were bringing him my way. Aw! He wanted to make sure I was safe as he knows something about the Duke and doesn’t trust him. But what is the secret?!

Tell ME!!!!!

He admits he can’t stop thinking of me and that he doesn’t know what he would do without me. I know I should be worried that my father is dying, but I can’t help feeling a bit mission accomplished. I mean this is the guy I want and I need to get engaged to ensure I inherit everything, right? Wait-I shouldn’t be like Marianne Dashwood, I need to be like Elinor and temper myself. He may not propose and my grandma still wants me to get with the Duke.

It turns out that Mr. Sinclaire has decided that it is time he stops keeping things hidden. Ohhh! Story time! So who do you think he will be more like? Mr. Darcy?

Colonel Brandon?

Maxim de Winter from Rebecca?

It turns out that Mr. Sinclaire’s wife betrayed him with the Duke and they were lovers!

Mr. Sinclaire offers to share his story and I’m like yes please! I want to get to know Mr. Sinclaire more and get the dirt on the Duke, I might need it to make sure my grandma doesn’t set me up with him.

I didn’t have enough diamonds so I said forget it and ended up buying some as I just had to know!

Tell ME!!!!!

So Mr. Sinclaire was married before and his wife passed away five years ago. They used to be very close to Duke Richards, Mr. Sinclaire would even invite him over for an annual London dinner and other events.

Six years ago they were having a dinner party-the Duke was there as always, and Mr. Sinclaire’s wife Roselyn (which you will recognize from the book Bloodbound) everything seemed well and normal BUT, that night Mrs. Sinclaire disappeared from her hostess duties, and Mr. Sinclair went looking for her and found her and the Duke together.

The Duke didn’t even care that he was caught! What a jerk!! He reminds of that jerk in Poldark, Monk Adderley-thank goodness Ross killed him (in a duel).

Poor Mr. Sinclaire-he describes it as a dagger in his heart. Ohh-such a romantic hero! I LOVE it. Pixelberry can write some characters so well.

Mr. Sinclaire found out that not only was Roslyn cheating on him, but she never loved him-she just married him for his money.

And that’s not all…

Mr. Sinclaire turned her out, but she became pregnant with the Duke’s child and he ended up taking her in after the Duke refuse to help her. Both she and the child died in childbirth. Ouch, that was really sad-like more than I was expecting.

I wonder of he still loved her, but when I ask-he says he no longer does as someone else has made his heart open again…

No winder Sinclaire hates the Duke. I thoroughly hate him too.

But aw, Mr. Sinclaire admitted he loves me. I should be happy, but playing these books have led me to see that something bad is going to happen.

This tender moment has been sweet, but my father is ill and I need to get back to see him before he passes on. Mr. Sinclaire escorts me to the stables and offers to come with me but I turn him down. Why? I don’t know as most women would not travel alone. What if I was taken upon by gypsies? Thieves? Murderers? Rapists? The Duke?

Such a man!

Mr. Marcastle took the carriage but I might be able to beat him on horseback-good thing I bought my own horse back in Chapter 5.

Luke Harper is coming with me, okay good that makes sense. The two of start off for my father when the chapter ends.  Will we make it on time?

So that chapter is finally finished, man I couldn’t believe it took so long. It was an expensive chapter, but for once I feel like it was worth every diamond. Until the next chapter…

For more Desire and Decorum, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 11, The Clock Runs Out Part II

For more on Choices, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 11, The Clock Runs Out Part I

You Are My Fantasy: Austenland (2013)

 

Happy Valentine’s Day

So today is Valentine’s Day and the end of our postings. I always find this fun to do as we just focus on a romantic moment, which could be found in almost any film. Tradition is to end on an Austen themed film (I broke it once and I’m going to try to never do it again), so here we go with our last one on Austenland (which I have started watching every Valentine’s Day.

Most Romantic Moment #14

Austenland (2013)

I LOVE this movie. It is based on the books Austenland and Midnight in Austenland by Shannon Hale:

I LOVED these books, so when I saw they were making a movie I was so excited!

FangirledWhenSeeingPreview

One day I will review the whole movie, but not today-today we are just focusing on moment.

Jane Hayes (Keri Russell) is a giant Jane Austen fan.

She decides to get out of the grayness of her life (and love life) and go to Austenland- a Regency inspired getaway where you can pretend to be in an Austen novel, go to a ball, and find you own Mr. Darcy ending.

Things however, do not go as planned. She ends up having the cheaper package and getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

She starts to fall for Martin, one of the handymen at the resort, but he ends up dumping her because she is enjoying “their world” too much. (Seriously dude? I’m paying for this vacation-of course I’m going to enjoy it.) Anyways…she decides she is going to take charge of her story and be the best Austen heroine she can be! Will she get her Mr. Darcy? Will she have the vacation of her dreams?

Or will she decide she needs to stop her Jane Austen fascination?

****Spoiler Alert****

So this moment comes at the end of the film. Jane took back her vacation, and had fun, gained confidence, and fell for Mr. Nobley (J.J. Feild). However, Martin returned (urgh!) and convinced her to join “reality” and she turns down Mr. Nobley’s declaration of love.

She ends her vacation and when she is speaking to Mrs. Wattlesbrook, the resort owner, she discovers that Martin was the actor, not Mr. Nobley. Mr. Nobley was brought in to fill some time while they waited for another actor to finish his series-Nobley was never scripted for Jane, he wasn’t scripted for anyone.

What?

It turns out that what Mr. Nobley said was real, but Jane is so upset with Mrs. Wattlesbrook manipulations (and the fact that she wasn’t even seen as worthy to be paired with a gentleman) she can’t focus on that-made even more so when Martin and Nobley follow her to the airport.

Jane thanks Mr. Nobley and says good-bye, ready to head home and give up on her Jane Austen interest.

When she gets home she expects her friend to be over soon to talk about the trip, a knock does come-but when she opens the door it isn’t her friend-but Mr. Nobley!

He traveled all the way from England to give her-her sketchbook and tell her how much he loves her! OMGoodness!!!

He tells her that he is in love with her! “Could someone like me make you happy?”, and then says the line that makes my heart melt and brain turn to goo-“You are my fantasy”! Aw, it is just so romantic!!! Jane and Mr. Nobley both get their happy fairy tale ending!

Squee! I loved it!

Even more so, I love that this mimics Northanger Abbey, when Mr. Tilney comes after Catherine and tells her that he loves her:

Ad with both characters being played by the same actor, J.J. Feild? It makes my heart go into overtime.

For more on Austenland, go to Five Jane Austen Adaptations That Should be Turned Into a Film or TV Show

For more J.J. Feild, go to The Jewel Carries a Curse: Ruby in the Smoke (2006)

For more on Jane Hayes and Mr. Nobley, go to Austenland

If you missed a post here are all the films and TV episodes I chose moments from:

The Little Mermaid (1989)

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

I’m With Lucy (2002)

Jane Austen Book Club (2007)

“Valley Girls” from Gossip Girl (2009)

Beauty Pageant” from Parks and Recreation (2009)

The 12 Men of Christmas (2009)

The Decision” from The Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl (2012)

Austenland (2013)

Catching Fire (2013)

Before I Fall (2017)

Episode 14” from Strong Women Bong Soon (2017)

Once Upon a Christmas Miracle (2018)

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)

Death By Persuasion: Midsomer Murders (2017)

Do you love Jane Austen and Halloween? Do you feel like this?

Well then, we have a post for you!

MidsomerMurders-76846

So after DCI Barnaby (John Nettles) left I really stopped watching the new Midsomer Murders, and instead just rewatched the old ones. Every time I watched I got to where they made the switch, I would get a little farther, but then stop as it just wasn’t the same.

I hate when the person you love leaves.

I’m not happy…

However, my interest was sparked when my mother, who continued watching, told me about this episode and someone who follows me on instragam mentioned it too. I tried to find the comment, but no luck-I knew I needed to review it for Horrorfest.

You know me:

Or book lovers

So here we are:

So to begin with, such a beautiful house. So lovely. Every one is in Austen Regency wear. It is like Austenland. I wish I could go.

Or something that somewhat resembles it.

Gorgeous…but wait a second. A young girl receives a note and goes running off. That’s not unusual, but a drone overhead is watching her. Creepy.

Spooky…

A person in  blue coat and black gloves grabs her and carries her off, the drone missing everything but the dead body.

John Barnaby (Neil Dudgeon) is at home when he gets called in by Detective Sergeant Jamie Winter, who I don’t care for. None of the DS were as good as Ben, he was he best!

The dream team!

Anywho, Jamie talks to Mrs. Barnaby who’s woking on a Georgian historical novel. Wow what a coincidence!

Surprise, surprise

So moving along we are in the village Doctor’s office where a lady, Mary Osgood, is upset that her boss and secretary have “taken time off”-just so you know, yes, they are in Austenland.

Ronin Chow has the Mary load the drone as they are testing healthcare by air. It goes by where the police are investigating. So the victim is female and was found stabbed in the countryside. Bonnet askew. It appears the girl was stabbed in the neck with a feather? Interesting.

They have found no ID, wallet, etc. Makes sense as she is in full Austen gear. They do find a remnant of a note on her hand. It looks as if someone tried to rip it out.

They discover a syringe and Winter makes a dumb joke. I just don’t like him!

Meanwhile, there are a group of ladies and gents enjoying Jane Austen. Katherine (Claire Skinner) and James Osgood (Samuel West) are the owners who recreate Austen, their teenage daughter Polly isn’t into it and upset about being in that “world”.

The murdered woman turns out to be Samantha Berry from London. She was a single journalist, out on vacarion to “Austenland”.

They question the owners, but they aren’t very helpful. They describe their vacation as “gorgeous Georgians” in an attempt to make money to continue to care for their home.

Polly, however, has information as she shares that Samantha was super nosy-asking a lot of questions-even sneaking out.

Hmm…

It turns out the “missing” receptionist Jane Everard and Dr. Solomon Franks are at the event. The doctor being the one people are after as he’s the “resident Mr. Darcy.” Although we never spend anytime with him or really see him again in this episode. WOW, you think that an episode that is supposed to be Jane Austen themed, spends hardly any time on Mr. Darcy.

So John (I can’t call him Barnaby) and Winters find out that the head of the Jane Austen Friendship Circle is not a fan of the “Gorgeous Georgians” and decide to question her.

They go through Samantha’s things and find a lot of news articles about the drone delivery! Ah, so the Dr. and his secretary just happen to be at this event and Samantha is investigating them. Interesting, obviously the doctor and receptionists will play big parts in this as Austen will be a major theme, right?

Majorly

Yes, they are supposed to be Darcy and Elizabeth, but we NEVER see them!

I’m not happy

Katherine’s sister comes and to be honest I can see why Polly is not into it. They treat her like crap making her do everything. They should have hired at least one footman.

James looks at Katherine’s sister in a strange way and could they be involved? I wouldn’t put it past this show. Remember how the uncle in Candlestick says that everyone is also messing around with each other on Midsomer Murders. 

This was a good film.

James receives a suspicious phone call. Hmm…

Hmmm…

They go to speak to Ronin and Doug Vaughan, the Drone people about the drones to see if they have anything. They don’t recognize her picture and Winter asks about cameras, but they say they don’t have any on the droids.

They are lying!

Gemma, leader of the Jane Austen Friendship Circle, hates the Gorgeous Georgians. She owns the tearoom  where Jane Austen “visited” and talks about how she knows the history-although it sounds like she may be making up her intellectual background.

Hmm…

He asks what Jane would have written with and she says a goose feather quill pen. She goes to show him but it is missing, and it turns out to be the one used to murder Samantha.

Hmm…

They go to the pub and question Katherine’s sister, Nell. Nell’s husband Ray is an ex-cop who owns the only other key to the case that held the the quill pen.

Well we know its not him, too obvious and unfortunately we have a lot more to this episode to go.

That night someone breaks into the lab and they destroy Ronin’s laptop.

Hmmm

John’s wife is headed to the Grange, Gorgeous Georgians, to the dance being held there and is excited about her husband coming. He is less enthused.

It turns out that she was poisoned by the pen and asphyxiated. Someone did a poison pen-obviously supposed to be a metaphor.

They head over to the lab and find it odd that nothing was taken just the laptop being destroyed. There is nothing to be had on it…or is there?

Hmmm?

The pharmacist is pleased that someone broke in and she is planning something with Gemma the teashop owner.

They question the pharmacist and it turns out that Samantha was investigating James and Katherine. She wasn’t any help as they got together in London, but they never seemed to match up to her. She mentions about his “private life is his private life.” Sounds like he is probably into guys. That’s the way they tend to lead with these shows when they say “private life.”

He questions about  the drug SUX, what was used to kill Samantha and she or the Dr. could have done it.

Hmm…

Back with the Austenites. They are writing, while the Doctor. puts the moves on his secretary. We see an Austen scene in an Austen-themed episode for like 5 MINS!!! 5 MINS!!!!!!!!!

This is why most if us are watching!

Why would you only have a smidge of Austen and be going into drones and such???!!!

How does this make any sense?!!

So they look at where the drone delivered, but none went near where she was killed. But they aren’t the only one with drones. Hint hint…

They go to speak to Walter Osgood the last person Berry spoke to and former headmaster at the school who lost his job for capital punishment. He was caught on camera by a drone filmed by Doug Vaughn. Hmm, I thought Doug said that his drones had no cameras on it.

Walter shares that Doug hated James as they’ve been fighting a loooong time. They ask about Samantha, but Walter never met her. She called about when James and Katherine met.

At the time of the murder he said he was fishing and saw the Dr. over by the river. Ah…interesting! Polly said that he was seen sweaty and late to the picnic.

Hmmm…I don’t know it seems to easy…

They question the Doctor and he says they must be mistaken. They question about him getting medicine and he reveals that he takes the medicine. He was in a car accident and basically is like House but nicer.

He said he didn’t hear anyone, bur he did hear a drone.

Hmm, …

James meets with his brother-in-law. A drone watches them, filming. But before we cann see them doing anything, there is a commercial break of course.

We then see the beautiful house and James at the computer being emailed a threatening note “I SAW YOU”  “DON”T IGNORE ME” and a picture of Samantha dead. A drone then flies up to the house carrying something. Weeeeell…I think it is obvious who is blackmailing James. Who else has drones and hates him.

And more importantly where is the Jane Austen!! Why are so focused on drones?

Hmm…

James goes to Doug thinking that he sent the emails. He wants James to invest in his drone company. Doug says he doesn’t know who sent the emails, but tries to blackmail him. Doug says that he will tell Kitty all about it.

Yep, he is cheating on his wife, most likely with a guy. I can already tell. There is no other it than a secret child. Maybe Samantha is his secret child-Nah it is an affair.

So while this is an okay mystery, I wish there was MORE Jane Austen in a Jane Austen themed episode. This mystery has nothing to do with it. When the older episodes did a theme, they really went all out. Like the magician episode, the movie one, etc. This kind of feels like they are just pandering to people to get them to watch it, but it has nothing to do with Jane Austen herself or the books. All we’ve had so far is one cameo by the guy who played Mr. Elliot in Persuasion (1995) and one Mr. Darcy reference. Like this episode could be switched out with anything else and would be exactly he same. I am not happy.

So back to this James is angry and shouts at Doug, Doug tells him you can’t bully me anymore. And I’m pretty bored.

Blah, blah

James storms out and Doug is mad his plan didn’t work. He threatens him not to ignore him. Walter heads out to the ball. James is preoccupied with what’s going on and wonders if they should have returned to the Grange. Kitty is in her own make believe world all is okay when it isn’t. Kitty is upset and talks to her sister who isn’t thinking her marriage is going all that well, either.

John and Winters dress up and they look sharp. John’s wife and the fill0in ME Petra arrive. Polly is serving all, the only one, and very unhappy-storms off. Nell tries to talk to James but he’s not having it and he storms off (must be where she learned it from).

Polly speaks on the phone to someone about having enough to get to Ibiza and mentions it takes two to get corsets off so she is romantically involved with someone.

So I’m watching this, and I realize that so far there has only been one death. That’s really odd. There is typically at least three.

They travel to where Polly was calling as they spotted her from the window and discover Samantha’s phone and a change of clothing.

The Doctor is trying to romance his secretary but she is unsure if he means it or play acting. Wow it is like that awesome movie, except a suckier version.

And just because we all need a little Austenland in our lives:

Barnaby’s wife talks about how Petra pointed out that there was a fire in the house, as the sides buckle from where there was intense heat. Gee amazing how that just happened to be this fill-in ME’s hobby. Now why this is relevant I don’t know but I do know it sure will be important later.

So who will die next Polly or James. I’m thinking Polly since she’s involved in some double dealing money scheme. At the party Ronin comes and kisses Polly, meanwhile a person in black and gloves steals a shotgun and shells.

John hears them and sees them through the mirror. Winters runs but doesn’t catch them, he gets hit by a car instead.

Huh?

The car stops and when they open it they find Gemma. Interesting…

They question Gemma who says she wanted to see the dresses and dancing, heard the shot and tried to takeoff before anyone spotted her. They take her down to be processed.

Polly checks on her dad who is drinking and down in the dumps. He apologizes for coming back and hugs her. HMMMM?

Hmm…

Barnaby decides that the shot was a warning and the fire is a new lead he needs to look into. Why? Why would he care about a fire? What does this have anything to do with Samantha Berry? Why would any cop decide to do this?? THIS EPISODE MAKES ZERO SENSE!!!!!!!!!! ZERO!!!!!!! ZERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m not happy

AND WHY IS THERE HARDLY ANY JANE AUSTEN!!! He hasn’t even read the books or watched the movies!!! Barnaby, the real one would have! Or he would have had Joyce do it and then summarize it for him!!!!

IT’S NOT WHAT I WANT!

A drone flies overhead and the pharmacist sends something off with Gemma. What are these ladies up to? Do I really care?

They got into Samantha’s phone which has an old picture 28 years ago of James, Kitty, and  a guy named Fullerton who went to jail for arson 12 years ago and manslaughter as he killed a maid on accident. They can’t question him as he died a few months ago. Big shocker there, NOT!

John thinks the her in the note’s “Meet me I’ll tell you all about…her” might be something like brother? Maybe father?

Hmmm…

John and Winter go to question Kitty about the fire and Jamie Fullerton. Kitty doesn’t give that much info-a stone. A drone flies overhead and the coppers are off. Polly got a package. James goes to see Doug with a duffel bag-payoff. Doug needles him, and James storms off.

The cops head over to the lab just as James is leaving. They come to speak to Ronin about his “unofficial” business-using the drone for other deliveries

They question about Ronin lending Ray the drone, Ray who was the arresting officer, which is weird as why would they be friends. Ronin insists they were as Ray saved him from doing hard time.

To be honest I REALLY don’t care This episode is boring.

BORED!!

Ronin shares that he was flying the drone as he was filming for James, you know Austen footage to put on the website. He shares how he followed her and lost her in the woods, but found her dead. So why didn’t he share it with the officers?

The evidence was stolen in the lab break in, but he does remember seeing that the guy wore a blue jacket with a unicorn on it. But a ton of people have them as they gave them away for a walk for charity.

Hmm…

He asks Ray and Kitty’s sis about Johnny Fullerton. but no info.

Doug is angry that Ronin would betray him, and Ronin says he’s not long for here. He’ll be taking off with Polly. As soon as Doug is gone, Ronin goes upstairs and on his laptop. He looks into James’ file and sees that Doug has been spying on him and has a lot of pics. Then he sees something very important and dials someone. He sees who was wearing the coat!

Winters and John go to talk to Gemma. She lied about going to Oxford University, called it.

Ronin tells Polly he missed something and as he walks out he is followed by a drone. Ronin’s going to die. Ronin is telling someone he knows who killed Samantha when the drone drops a knife on him and he dies.

What’s going on?

John comes to check out Ray’s drone, but it is gone and Ray is “out”.

Winters goes to talk to the pharmacist and finds Gemma and the pharmacist. It turns out that they have been undermining the drone trial as Gemma and the pharmacist had their own side business of delivering.

So John questions Polly. Kitty interrupts saying she wants to help as she knows how complicated first love can be. I bet she was involved with James Fullerton.

They question Walter and James about Doug. The two don’t like him so why would James invest.

So after that we get hit with three important clues-1) Doug’s fingerprint was found on the shotgun, 2) the photo albums belonged to Kitty (where Samantha git the pics), and 3) James Fullerton Grange firebug was Samantha’s father. I think we can all see what the conclusion is, but let’s continue.

Ugh!

Samantha only met her father once-what did he say that brought her to the village.

Meanwhile, Doug has been following James-pretty obsessed with him.

Ry goes to see him and shows his video-them making out is my guess. Ray and Doug fight while the video plays, Doug manages to send it to Ray’s wife Nell and yep-the guys were making out.

I hope they lock Doug up-he’s a total creep. Stalking, harassment, blackmail,etc He tries to play it off that James deserved it but I don’t like him.

I don’t care for anyone on this episode.

Poor Nell. Why get married if you were into guys? Really? Seriously, why mess up her life and make her think something was wrong with her.

Back at the Grange nothing is quite right. The Dr. and Jane are trying to get together, he proposing to her. I DON’T CARE! Neither one acted like an “Austen” character and we spend zero time with them. Who cares?

James tells Kitty they HAVE TO TALK. Meanwhile they question Ray, but he lied about his whereabouts earlier. Both times of the deaths he went to see James

After the fire Ray and James were together, but when Kitty became pregnant from James he and Kitty went to London and Ray married Nell . Everything was fine until they came back, was it really though? I mean both men were living a lie and married a girls and ruined their lives.

Nell goes off to be with her sister who just found out the truth about her husband.

They question Ray about Johnny Fullerton and he tells them that Johnny loved Kitty, they were together until the fire. Johnny came to see Kitty after he was out of jail but she had left by then.

Meanwhile, Winters is going through the computer and finds a pic of the killer. We don’t get to see it though. All converge to the Grange so we can have a reveal.

Finally! This is almost over!

Kitty is heartbroken that he never loved her, that he married her even though he cared naught for her. Poor Kitty.

She grabs a torch and lights it going toward James. Is she going to set him on fire?

She puts the fire in his face to try and get the truth out of him .

Johnny Fullerton was Kitty’s first love.

Knew it. Johnny went to prison because Kitty started the fire. Knew that to, sooo obvious. Kitty got drunk, was crying, and knocked over an electric heater. It caught the curtains and the maid died. Why didn’t she say it was an accident? She would have easily gotten off. Dumb!

Johnny told Samantha about the fire and she started investigating. Nell killed Samantha, she used to be a nurse and wore her husband’s jacket.

Kitty finds out that Johnny came back to see her but Nell didn’t tell her to protect her. Kitty says why not and Nell said it was because she was married. Kitty says again why not as “I wasn’t happy” and it pans to James who his all offended. Really James, really?

You lied to her as you never loved her, was cheating on her, and is offended that she was unhappy in your marriage?

Both sisters go off to prison. Ugh.

Winter said he never read any Jane Austen and I think the writers of this episode didn’t either.

Did you even read the books! Or watch a movie?!!

It end with the Dr and Jane together-who cares we know zilch about them.

I didn’t like it.

I mean in the other Barnaby episodes you have ones that focused on archaeologist, writers, musicians, and they really concentrated on the theme this did not.

We knew hardly anything about these characters so I didn’t care who lived or died, the older episodes did far better. And there were only two deaths, usually there are three.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more on Midsomer Murders, go to A Book Considered Too Dangerous to Keep: The Magician’s Nephew, Midsomer Murders (2008)

For more Jane Austen, go to Rational Creatures: Catherine Morland, Eleanor Tilney, & Lady Susan

Five Jane Austen Adaptations That Should be Turned Into a Film or TV Show

So I asked this question on Instagram and got a zero response. I feel that this had a lot of potential so I’m going to answer it myself.

So I haven’t read every adaptation yet, I plan to, but haven’t yet. Out of the ones I have read these are one that I would love to see as a film or TV Show.

5) Jane Austen Academy Series by Cecilia Gray

So in this Jane Austen inspired work, Cecilia Gray takes the characters of Jane Austen’s novels and puts them in a boarding school high school together, pairing up who would be friends and having them live in modern times. She chose the characters Elizabeth Bennet, Elinor Dashwood, Emma Woodhouse, Catherine Morland, and Anne Elliot.

The drama comes when this boarding school goes co-ed! Gasp! Mr. Darcy, Mr. Wickham, and Captain Wentworth are coming and bringing all their dramas and the new owners want to change everything. Elizabeth has to save the school, help Anne get back with her love Wentworth, and deal with ugh Darcy.

So I have only read the first book (and need to continue the series, but just haven’t had a chance) and I like the idea-although there were a few things I didn’t agree with (like deleting Marianne Dashwood, why?) that would need to be fixed. I think this would be a good TV show-all the Austen characters as teenagers going to school together and unlike Austentatious, this book if turned show would actually keep the themes from the books instead of making it random nonsense.

For more on The Jane Austen Academy Series, go to Fall For You

4) Mr. & Mrs. Darcy Mysteries by Carrie Bebris

So Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth are married and happen upon stranger supernatural occurrences and start investigating-well, Elizabeth does and Darcy starts off along for the ride but joins in. In the first book they deal with the question of an insane or possessed Caroline Bingley. Has she gone mad? Is her husband gaslighting her? Or could she be posessed? In book two, Elizabeth’s sister, Kitty Bennet, is planning on marrying Henry Dashwood (John and Fanny’s son) but then he starts acting weird. Was he just pretending to be a nice guy and always a jerk? Or is he possessed by some malignant creature?

Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam Darcy are crimesolvers? I’d watch it hands down. It would be something for those who loved Death Comes to Pemberley and Supernatural. Sounds like a win-win and can fill a new hole on TV.

For more Mr. and Mrs. Darcy Mysteries, go to Pride & Prescience (Or a Truth Universally Acknowledged) and Suspense & Sensibility (Or First Impressions Revisited)

3) The Darcy Monologues and Dangerous to Know edited by Christina Boyd and et. al

So in The Darcy Monologues you have Pride and Prejudice envisioned fourteen different ways. Dangerous to Know: Jane Austen’s Rakes and Gentlemen Rogues is eleven different stories on the “bad boys” of Jane Austen.

So I still have to read Rational Creatures (I know shame on me, time just seems to slip away), but I think these would both be fun as a TV show, each story an episode. As The Darcy Monologues is about one subject you could do an episode from it and Dangerous to Know, to break it up, or just do a miniseries. I would love to see Mr. Darcy as the “Beast”, Pride and Prejudice as a Western, and of course Mr. Darcy Strikes Out as I LOVED Dandy Darcy and would love-love-love to see that. For Dangerous to Know I loved Henry Tilney’s older brother finding love and needing help from Catherine Morland, and when Colonel Fitzwilliam strikes a deal with an heiress to pretend to be interested in her so she can gain her inheritance.

For more Darcy Monologues, go to The Darcy Monologues: Part I, The Regency and The Darcy Monologues: Part II, Other Eras

For more on Dangerous to Know, go to Dangerous to Know: Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues, Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MILD, Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MODERATE, and Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MATURE

 

2) Midnight in Austenland by Shannon Hale

I Love, Love, Love, Love, Love this book. We all loved the film Austenland, so why not turn the sequel into a film as well!! You have a broken hearted woman who loves Jane Austen and heads to Austenland to get over her troubles. There she sees characters from the previous book along with getting mired in a mystery!!!

It is a love story, a mystery, comedy, etc and so much fun. It wouldn’t quite work with how they ended the film Austenland, but you could always have Mrs. Wattlesbrook make a new one and try again. It would be FANTASTIC!! Please make it happen.

For more, go to Midnight in Austenland

1)Definitely Not Mr. Darcy by Kelly Doornebos

Chloe Parker enters a contest to compete in a documentary about Austenites. Each contestant will live in a Regency-esque world where they will compete in answering Austen Trivia-the winner receiving $100,000. It’s easy right? Wrong! It turns out that this is a Bachelor Reality Show in Regency Flair, all constants competing to win a “Mr. Darcy”.

I could see this being a movie, but even better as a TV Show. You make it in the style of a reality show, but all fake. It would be hilarious as they try and complete the Austen challenges while poking fun at real celebrity dating TV Shows.

For more go to, Definitely Not Mr. Darcy

So what do you think? Did I miss anything? Is there something out there you would love to see as a TV show or Film? Comment below to let me know!