When Trouble Strikes, Head to the Library: 13 More of the Best Fictional Libraries

So if you’ve been following me, you are aware of my love of libraries.

A few years ago I did a post on 13 of my favorite fictional libraries from TV, film, and books. I really enjoyed doing it as I said before, I love libraries!

But then I started noticing more and more fictional libraries and of course had to do a second post on 13 more amazing fictional libraries.

Which brings us to today and another 13 of the best fictional libraries.

13) Gary’s Library from SpongeBob SquarePants “Sleepy Time Episode”

SpongeBob is dreaming about driving when Mrs. Puff takes away his license and he finds himself ejected from his dream. SpongeBob sees his sleeping form, but decides to not renter his mind but instead visit all his friend’s dreams with all the usual SpongeBob shenanigans.

Why the library is awesome!: When SpongeBob enters Gary’s dream he finds Gary in an enormous library. I don’t know what kind of books a snail would read but this dream library of Gary’s is highly impressive. It brings to mind the Dream Library in the The Sandman Chronicles. It definitely would have some interesting works.

For more on SpongeBob SquarePants, go to The Hash-Slinging Slasher: Graveyard Shift, Spongebob Squarepants (2002)

12) University Library in An Extremely Goofy Movie

Goofy loses his son (to college) and his job all within the same timeframe. He know needs to finish his degree in order to find a new career and decides to go to the same university as his son. There he gets involved in extreme sports (it was the ’90s everything was xtreme), and more. Can he survive the school year? Or will he make a goof of this as well.

Why the library is awesome!: While this library is an average college library, the librarian makes this seem like a fun place to be as she is really “groovy”. Plus, Goofy has probably made more than one mess that staff had to clean up so you know everything is where it should be as it has just been reshelved.

11) Milderhurst Castle Library in The Distant Hours by Kate Morton

In The Distant Hours, a mother and daughter are brought together over a long awaited letter. Edie has always been obsessed with the Gothic novel The Mud Man, and when she is driving out to speak to an author in Kent, she passes Milderhurst Castle, where the author of The Mud Man used to reside. It turns out that Edie has a deeper connection to The Mud Man as she discovers her mother used to reside their during WWII. Edie is asked to write a biography on the family, and while in this Poe-vain gothic house she discovers secrets of The Mud Man and her family.

Why the library is awesome!: This library is extremely old and no longer well taken care of, but it still sounds amazing and I can imagine it was incredible when the family took care of it.

“Shelves spanned all four walls, floor to ceiling…they were lined with very old books, the sort with marbled endpapers, gold-dipped edges, and black cloth binding.

It sounds like it used to be a wonderful place to spend your days.

For more on The Distant Hours, go Catherine Morland’s Reading List: The Distant Hours

10) The Abbey of Saint Anne de Beaupré Library in Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

In Outlander, Claire has recently reunited with her husband Frank Randall after being separated during WWII. The two decide to celebrate with a honeymoon to Scotland, where Frank’s ancestors spent some considerable time. Frank gives all his attention to researching his family tree and Claire finds other ways to occupy her time. She decides to visit this magical henge to get a closer look at some flowers growing there (she’s an amateur botanist) and finds herself transported to mid-18th century Scotland. She is luckily picked up by some friendly Scots, one of which is the amazing Jamie Fraser, and tries to find a way to survive the past long enough to come back to the future.

Why the library is awesome!: One of my favorite parts of this book is when they visit the Monks, as even though a lot of terrible things have happened for them to go there, the Monks are some of the most well written characters in the novel. Jamie is horribly traumatized and injured after being locked in prison and they go to the monastery for physical, emotional, and soul healing. There Claire finds herself at a loss of what to do and spends a lot of time in the beautiful Abbey library. Monks had some of the best and most oldest/amazing books in all history. This one is sure to have countless treasures.

For more Outlander, go to Blueberry Yogurt Oat Scones

9) The Winds Abbey Library in The Crown Conspiracy by Michael J. Sullivan

Hadrian Blackwater and Royce Melbourn are thieves for hire. One day they are hired to steal a sword, and when they go to retrieve it; they find themselves as scapegoats for the the murder of the King! Alric, the soon to be crowned king, locks them up, and the two are sentenced to be executed. Unbeknownst to Alric, his sister Arista (sorcerer in training), frees them and hires them to take her brother and free a long ago imprisoned wizard. They set out on the quest, along with attempting to discover who is behind this plot to destroy the kingdom.

Why the library is awesome!: At this point in the book the Abbey has been destroyed but Myron, the librarian and monk, describes what was a cheery and lovely place full of books. While this part of the book is very sad, Myron later helps recreate the library to be exactly how it was before and rewrites all the books, scrolls, maps, etc from memory (it’s photographic). I rank this higher than the other monk’s library as while even though this one was destroyed (and later recreated), Myron the Librarian is such a delight that I would rather spend my time here a little bit more than the one in Outlander, although by a very small margin.

For more on The Crown Conspiracy, go to A Quest of Swords and Wizards: The Crown Conspiracy

8) Gyeoroo Publishing Company Library from Romance is a Bonus Book

Kang Dan-i and Cha Eun-ho have been friends since they were little. Once Dan-i was a powerhouse in the corporate world, but left her job to focus on family when she married. Now divorced, Dan-i is really struggling to reenter the workforce and finds it hard with her high qualifications and large absence to find anyone to hire her. She ends up lying on her resume to get an entry level position at Gyeoroo Publishing Company, the business that Eun-ho owns part of. Eun-ho has been in love with Dan-i since he was a child and agrees to keep her secret, while at the same time trying to have her see him as more than just a friend.

Why the library is awesome!: So the actual face of the building used for the publishing company is a real library which makes this even cooler. In the series the publishing company has a massive library with both work related items; along with all the works the company has published. When I watched this I so wanted to work there, spend time in that library, and I fell for the other head of the company; a sweet widower with kids-just my type.

7) Mr. Bennet’s Library in Pride and Prejudice

Pride and Prejudice is about a mother, Mrs. Bennet, wanting to marry off her daughters as quickly as possible, as with their father’s death they will have very little. Two men move to their community that Mrs. Bennet is intent on harpooning, no matter what. One, Mr. Bingley, falls for the elder daughter, Jane, while the other man, Mr. Darcy, is overheard insulting the second daughter, Elizabeth, by Elizabeth herself. (Ouch!) Elizabeth is wounded and when she hears a tale about how horrible Mr. Darcy is from a handsome charming man, she readily believes it. She later discovers there is more to both these men than meets the eye; as the story deals with the concepts of pride and prejudice, first impressions, whether you should be overt in how you feel or play it close to the heart, etc.

Why the library is awesome!: I don’t rank this library higher even though I’m sure it is a really nice library, as Mr. Bennet isn’t one to share his space with anyone else or allow someone other than him to spend great amounts of time there. This library looks cozy and a great place to your day, something that I know Mr. Bennet does. And as often as he is in his library, hiding out, I’m sure it is the most comfortable room in the house.

For more Pride and Prejudice, go to Can The Shop Around the Corner Be Considered A Pride and Prejudice Adaption?

6) Count Dracula’s Library in Horror of Dracula

In Horror of Dracula, Jonathan Harker goes to Count Dracula’s to make enough money to marry his fiancé, but it turns out that isn’t the whole story. He is there under false pretenses his real mission is to slay Dracula. Dracula overcomes him and sets off for England to steal Jonathan’s bride-to-be, Lucy. It’s up to Van Helsing, Lucy’s brother Arthur, and Arthur’s wife Mina to destroy Dracula before he can kill again.

Why the library is awesome!: This library is beautiful, full of so many books, and has secret passageways. I would love to have this library as not only is it functional but gothic, spooky, and in a castle.

For more on Horror of Dracula go to, Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

5) Bruce Wayne’s Library in Batman (1989)

The city of Gotham is being harassed by a psychopath, the Joker, who is poisoning makeup, cleaners, and other everyday items. Good thing Gotham has someone watching over them, billionaire playboy turned superhero detective Bruce Wayne/Batman.

Why the library is awesome!: It’s a beautiful place to be with it’s gorgeous furniture that I want to have in my home, and shelves full of books. Of course any library that has multiple levels is a treasure, (I spot a staircase in the back). It looks like a wonderful place to read, relax, study, and work out any problems that present themselves. It also has priceless antiquities and secret passages.

For more Batman (1989), go to What Are You? I’m Batman!: Batman (1989)

4) Norland Park in Sense and Sensibility

In Sense and Sensibility, the Dashwood girls lose their home when their father dies and the estate is entailed to their brother and his wife, (both of which do nothing to help them), with the ladies moving to stay in a distant family member’s cottage. Elinor is the eldest Dashwood girl and the sensible logical one. Her younger sister Marianne, is the middle daughter and the passionate one who always shares her feelings. Both sisters go on to discover that while each believe they knows the best way to present themselves, they both have a lot to learn.

Why the library is awesome!: Like most important and old houses, there are a ton of books that have been collected through the years. Not only does it hold an impressive amount of volumes, it also looks light and airy and an extremely comfortable place to while away the hours. The youngest Dashwood sister, Margaret, enjoys spending her time there looking at the atlas or other books. I know if I lived there, I would spend all my time there.

For more Sense and Sensibility, go to Incense and Sensibility

3) Ainsoft Company Library in Strong Girl Bong Soon

Strong Woman Bong Soon is the best Korean drama ever and I highly recommend it for Jane Austen fans. It is the story of a girl, Bong Soon, who’s family has a curse/gift that all women will have super strength, but if used for evil it will be taken away. All Bong Soon has ever wanted was to create a video game based on her powers, but ends up getting caught up in stopping gangsters from trying to take over the neighborhood, a serial kidnapper after women to be his seven brides, and becoming the bodyguard to the rich owner of a video game company that is being threatened. It has mystery, a superhero, comedy, drama, etc-everything you could ever want.

Why the library is awesome!: The Ainsoft company library has information on work along with other novels for staff to peruse on breaks. This library is as awesome as it is huge. I actually ranked this higher than I had it originally as Bong Soon and Mr. Ahn have an amazingly cute date here. I wish I could visit it, and with Mr. Ahn. *sigh* Oh well, I just have to be content with rewatching it.

For more on Strong Woman Bong Soon, go Super Power Girl, Blackmail, Gangsters, and a Serial Kidnapper: Strong Woman Bong Soon (2017)

2) Ivy’s Library in the Night Bound Choices Game

In the game Night Bound, you are traveling to New Orleans for Mardi Gras with your friends and end up getting attacked by a supernatural being. You are saved by a Nighthunter, hunter of the supernatural, who was hired by people unknown to keep you safe. As you continue through the story, trying to hunt down what is after you, you make friends and have the opportunity to choose parts of the story (skill sets, weapons, clothes, your love interest, etc.). You discover that while you thought you were just a normal human, there is more to you than meets the eye.

Why the library is awesome!: So Ivy’s library is full of supernatural books and items to help battle creatures, break curses, create spells. Awesome, right?! Imagine what knowledge lies in it! To me it seems like a mix between Giles library in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the Burkhardt collection in Grimm.

For more from Choices, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 12, In Sickness and In Health

1) Lady Emily Ashton’s Multiple Libraries in And Only to Decieve by Tasha Alexander

Lady Emily Ashton married Phillip Ashton to free herself from her mother’s control and because she was nice (as a member of high society that was the most she thought she could ever hope for). Not long after their marriage he died in a hunting accident. A year and a half later troubling things start happening and Lady Emily starts to wonder, was her husband death an accident…or was it murder? She starts investigating, but will she survive this quest? Or find herself the next victim?

Why the library is awesome!: Lady Emily won the top ranking as she has multiple libraries; one in her London townhouse, one in her Paris house, one at her English country manor, and one in her villa in Greece. Each one is full of all kinds of works; along with Roman and Greek antiquities, priceless artworks, beautiful statuary, etc. Can you even imagine? I mean one library would be incredible, but to own four? Heaven! Plus one of the libraries houses a first edition of Pride and Prejudice.

For more on And Only to Deceive and Lady Emily, go to Non-Austen Reads for Austen Readers: And Only to Deceive

Agree? Disagree? Think I’m missing one? Comment below!

For the original post (libraries 1-13), go to Heaven on Earth: 13 of the Best Fictional Libraries

For the second post (libraries 14-26), go to Happiness is Having a Library Card: Another 13 of the Best Fictional Libraries

What Are You? I’m Batman!: Batman (1989)

So it is time for our Tim Burton movie!

Batman: I’m not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.

Nic: What are you?

Batman: I’m Batman.

So I was trying to decide which Tim Burton movie to do next, when I saw this at the library and realized this was perfect as it turns 30 this year.

Some of you might not think this counts, as it is a superhero film but I say it does.

Yes, first of all every year on abcFamily, now known as freeform, as part of their 13 Night of Halloween they would always show this. So I always associate this film with Halloween.

The second reason it counts is because the Joker is chemically changed into a monster, but even without that he is a total psycho-killer.

So I grew up watching this film and I just love it. When I think of Batman, to me it is always Michael Keaton or Kevin Conroy. There is no other Batman (although I do recognize Adam West, I just never watched his show until I was older) This is an absolutely amazing film and Keaton is an amazing Batman. So without further ado…

We have an amazing opening with fantastic music…oh yeah, Danny Elfman did the music, Tim Burton just loves him.

Gotham city-I have always loved how it looked as it was a blend of modern with art deco giving it feeling of being both times and not of the time.

So a guy is leaving the theater with his family at night trying to get a taxi. They are tourists and lost. As they walk around the bad side of town, they get mugged, the father getting knocked out. (Although to be honest, it was kind of his fault. Why didn’t he stay in front of the theater?)

That’s not good.

So one of the robbers look like Kevin Bacon but it is totally a discount Kevin Bacon.

So the best part is when Batman creeps up behind the two muggers as they are dividing up the spoils. His cape flying out, creepy and cool. Spooky!

Spooky…

He takes them down, so tough and awesome. I know the costume kept him from moving his head right, but it looks so cool. He looks otherworldly.

Wow!

He was supposed to say something else about being justice in the night or so. But Michael Keaton changed it to “I’m Batman”, and it was awesome!

He takes those muggers down and flies out.

Meanwhile, the mayor is having a news conference with him appointing a new district attorney, Harvey Dent (Billy Dee Williams)-although why isn’t he in the third film? Why did they replace him with first of all, a white guy, and secondly why Tommy Lee Jones?

I’m surprised

Meanwhile Jack (Jack Nicholson) is a thug watching the conference. I can’t stand Jack Nicholson, he just looks creepy in EVERYTHING. That voice, that smile, it creeps me out. And not in a good way like Vincent Price.

He’s talking to his moll, mobster’s gal, about his plans for keeping control of the city.

Meanwhile, on the conference they get questioned about “The Bat”, by reporter Knox. No one believes the reporter, and laugh it off.

I love how they all wear 1940s clothes! Oh, I just love this movie. They have that film noir, Dana Andrews in Laura vibe going on.

Laura

It turns out one of the detectives is dirty, on the payroll of Jack. He tells him that D.A. Dent is onto one of their deals, a property, and he needs it to be handled. The cop insults him, but Jack is not having that, he pulls a gun on him. Watch out you are dealing with a psycho.

Don’t mess with me!

This is why you don’t become involved with bad guys, they can easily kill you.

The mayor is trying to take done crime and wants Grissom to go on trial. He wants to bring business back and revitalize the town.

Vicki Vale (Kim Basinger) meets with Knox, the pressman from earlier. She’s a photojournalist and is interested in this “Bat”. She knows that if they can prove it-it’s pulitzer prize worthy. She wants a piece by trying to get a picture of it. He thinks that he might show up to Bruce Wayne’ social, and she has an invite. Already they are a dynamic duo.

Sorry!

Meanwhile, Grissom and Jack are discussing what to do about this Dent. Grissom wants Jack to take care of him. Grissom’s moll comes, and its the dame that Jack was with. Oh it looks like Jack was a naughty boy.

I love how Jack wears a purple suit. I like when movies do things like that, setting the stage for what is to come. Plus that suit is sharp, I don’t find him attractive-just creepy-but I can see why she might be into him.

Grissom sends Jack out, but I can’t help but feel that there is more to this than mets the eye.

Oh yes, he calls up Lt. Eckhardt and it seems he found out about Jack dating his girl and he is on the way out.

That’s not good.

So the big Casino Night Gala has come. All the bigwigs are there and Knox. Vicki Vale has come too, working the room searching for Bruce Wayne. She taps a guy asking for his help and it is Michael Keaton.

Our first look at him. I think I love him as Batman because he is just a regular guy. He’s not ostentatious, he’s not super serious-he’s cool, composed, and just chill. I love it as you don’t realize who he is until later as he is just so normal. Perfect intro and contrast to when we see how awesome he is as Batman.

So like I said, it is the perfect intro, but it is weird that these reporters don’t know who he is. He’s a gazillionaire and leading philanthropist in the city. I mean Vale gets a somewhat pass as she has just arrived in the city, but Knox should know!

Knox and Vale notice Commissioner Gordon speaking to a police officer. Sensing a story, they try to track him down, but end up in an armory.

Bruce Wayne comes in as they eviscerating his collection. I love it. Who are you-Bruce Wayne.

He compliments them and I can’t get over it. He’s perfect! You would never ever think a guy like this would dress up as a giant bat and run around the city protecting it.

I’m surprised

He starts flirting with Vale but has to run off. The two just can’t get him as he seems so odd? But you know what they say, the rich aren’t odd they are “eccentric.”

Bruce enters his batcave where he goes over the film he shot of the Commissioner, getting the info on what was going on. I like this version because he actually does detective work, rather than in the Christian Bale version when Morgan Freeman solves everything.

Lt. Eckhardt is leading the people who are out to get Jack. Jack, Jack, Jack the first rule of being in a mob, never get with the boss’ gal. Should’ve know.

The police shoot them and gunfire starts between the two in a dangerous warehouse full of chemicals. Gordon shows up with his people as he doesn’t trust Eckhardt. He goes over Eckhardt refusing his order shoot to kill as he wants Jack alive to get the goods.

Jack destroys the warehouse, steam and bullets flying everywhere. But then Batman descends slowly from nowhere. SO COOOL!!!

He uses his batarang to catch one of the criminals. OMG every time I watch this I feel like I go back to the age I was when I first saw this on VHS. I was probably six or seven and after seeing this just thought Batman was SO COOOOL! Still feel this way 20-21 years later.

And that music.

So COOL!!!

Anyways Jack tried to make enough steam to confuse the cops and get out of there, but he didn’t count on the Batman.

I love how he flies in his cape flowing so cool!

WOW!

He catches Jack, using his utility belt to get the gun away, but Jack’s man gets Gordon. Jack picks up his gun to shoot Batman, but he’s gone. So COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!

Sorry, I can’t help it, 6-7 year old me just keeps popping out.

Jack shoots Eckhardt and tries to get Batman, but accidentally mars his own face, Then oops Barman accidentally knocks him into vat of chemicals, he tries to save him but oops, Jack falls in.

Batman throws a fogbomb and is gone! Sooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So COOL!!!

Vale and Knox are working on the story, but haven’t figured anything out yet. Knox tries to take Vale out, but Wayne asked her first.

Too slow

He invites her to his home for dinner. It always cracks me up- he’s in this ostentatious and gorgeous house, seated at a giant table that could fit 20 and acts like a regular joe. I love it. I love him. Michael Keaton is one of my favorites.

He takes her from the dining table to eating in the kitchen instead. There Alfred tells stories-good job Alfred. Doing what a parent would do.

Vale shares about herself and her family. Bruce tells her how he doesn’t have any family but Alfred. Vale says this house doesn’t seem him-and she’s right. He’s just too normal, not at all like those typical rich guys. And I love it.

So Jack survived his fall and went to the plastic surgeon. The nerves were messed up so the doctor did the best he could, but Jack isn’t happy with it.

Grissom is getting ready for bed when Jack walks in. He pretends he’s happy to see him, but Jack’s not buying it.

They start him off in the shadows so we don’t see what happened yet. But we know-it’s not going to be good!

Grissom reaches for his gun, but Jack has one on him already. He walks into the light and we see-The Joker. White face, green hair, and permanent grin. I think he looks as creepy as he always does.

Jack Nicholson is perfect. He always creeped me out when he looked his regular self and does it double as the joker.

Vale got drunk and stayed the night. She wakes up and sees Bruce doing upside down exercises? Sleeping like a bat? I’m not sure exactly what he was doing. She takes him to bed, but I personally think I would be weirded out by that.

Joker’s thrilled at the death of Grissom but mad that no one in the paper cares about him, even though he’s been the Joker for one night. But any-who, who cares about that logic, he wants fame, glory, and to enact his psychotic vengeance/reality/crime spree on Gotham.

The next morning Vale wakes up and invites Bruce out for lunch, but he’s too busy running “errands” We know what that means-Batman Business.

Meanwhile, Grissom’s gal gets home and finds Joker, fainting. Joker takes over the mafia. He covers his face with paint and tries to look normal-but still looks creepy. One guy challenges him, and Joker kills him, death by hand buzzer. Wow, love that he stays in theme.

Just noticed this boardroom has weird artwork. A lady naked but tied up, her nipples covered by the tie. Then it looks like a nude man’s chest on another wall. Weird art choices.

Weird

Oh Jack Nicholson is so creepy with that extra creepy laugh and creepiness on the side.

Knox is jealous that Vale was with Bruce, while she’s mad because she thinks Bruce just slept with her and then is going to ignore her. She finds nothing in the newspaper files as to who he is-weird as a gazillionaire there should be a gazillion clips- and then she decides to sneak over to his house and follow him.

He is walking down the street, bringing two roses outside an old hotel building. Aw. I know why he does it, but Vale is confused. Who is this guy? What is he doing? Why toss out expensive roses.

Meanwhile, the court trial of Grissom has stalled as no one can find him. Bruce goes to the courthouse when a guy announces he’ll be taking over his business. As he watches the exchange a mime shows up, then another one. Odd.  But are they just mimes?

Hmmm…

Never trust a mime. They are evil.

Then the Joker shows up and challenges the guy trying to take over Grissom’s business. He has a feather pen and uses it to stab and kill him He walks down the stairs in a top hat, spats, and shiny shoes. Man, I love that this joker has style. I like this better than today’s constant brooding , chaos, evil blah blah blah.

Blah, blah

I just love how he acts.

Meanwhile, Bruce spots Vale and storms off angry that she followed him.

The Joker’s angry that after his big show stopper number no one cares about him, they just care about the bat. I love it. I love him as the Joker. He is so evil and fun. They don’t make villains like that now. They are all so serious, brooding, and stiff.

OMG, Bruce has an amazing library! It’s going on my next library list!

Alfred tries to get Bruce to call Vale as she lifts his spirits, but Bruce is all business. He needs to take this joker down!

Vale calls Knox and gets him to check out the alley Bruce laid the roses on. She know it has to mean something but what?

Hmm…

Meanwhile, the Joker starts checking out the photos from the guy he had follow the reporters and falls for Vicki Vale. He wants her as his new gal.

Mh my goodness, I love his one liners.

Back at the Chemical factory, Joker starts working on his master evil plan.

We switch to the news, Action News, who bring up a story of models dying. They became allergic to something? But what? Three more mysterious deaths at a beauty parlor? Then the female news anchor starts going crazy laughing. She faints and is dead too.

Meanwhile, Joker cuts in to the broadcast. He reveals that he has poisoned all the makeup. and he doesn’t just reveal his plan on TV. He does his own infomercial.

THIS MOVIE IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He does an infomercial about his evil plan of poisoning makeup.

WOW!

Bruce looks into Jack Napier, the Joker. He has an interesting backstory, since 25 his rap sheet has started but he also has studied art, art history, and chemistry.

The next day we see the news anchors with no makeup. Its hilarious! They look tired and haggard a major difference from the day before.

The mayor still wants to celebrate the city’s bicentennial, even though there is a mad man and batman. Crazy mayor.

Ah, Bruce is wearing a cable knit sweater. I love men in sweaters.

So Vale goes to meet Bruce at the art museum, but it was actually a set up so the Joker could get to her. Bruce only found out when Vale called to let him know she would be running late.

She waits, and waits but no Bruce shows up. However, a package does saying urgent in child’s scrawl.

I know Jack probably wasn’t the best student but he really needs to work on an adult handwriting. It is a gas mask and she quickly puts it on as the museum is filled with noxious gas that knocks everyone out.

Joker shows up in a purple coat, purple chef hat, a posse, one dude with a boombox playing music as he robs the museum. I LOVE IT! This film. I can’t get over it!

This Joker is awesome and the kind of crazy, illogical, chaos that I love.

They don’t steal the art but destroy it.

He switches his dance music to “romance”. He looks at her portfolio and call it crap. Wow, you sure know how to romance a lady.

The only one he does like is of the dead body. He knows real art as he is:

“Joker: I am the world’s fully functional homicidal artist.”

Can you imagine if you had the Joker, Norman Bates as his mother, Jason, Michael Myers, and the other psychos all stuck together in a therapy group. Someone needs to make this into a film or short.

Joker’s former girlfriend comes wearing her mask, her face marred from the Joker as “a living piece of art”. Jack questions Vale about Batman.

I can’t get over his one liners!

“Vicki Vale: You’re crazy.

Joker: I thouht I was a pisces.”

He tries to get her to spill on batman and almost sprays acid on her face. Just when all hope seems lost, Batman comes crashing through and swings Vale to safety, crashing out the doors. SOO COOOL!

Wow!

OMG, that Batmobile! Sigh. SOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got to see it person at the Ca State fair once. It’s Amazing!

The Joker’s people drive a purple car with a green top. I just love how committed he is to his theme. I miss stuff like that in modern superhero films.

Vale and Batman ditch the car, shield coming up it as he can’t drive through the street. Vale tosses her shoes and they run for it.

Batman and Vale face an alley with no way out. He asks her how much she weighs, not cool batman.

Uh oh

He sends her up to safety and stays behind to fight the guys. They shoot him, and one guy says “Who’s this guy?” The one guy says to check his wallet. Like Batman is really going to by carrying a wallet or a credit card or something.

Flashes to Batman and Robin I know I made that joke on purpose.

Sorry!

Anyways, his body armor protects him and he take these goons out. AWESOME fight scene!!!!! Vale photographs the whole thing, although where was she carrying her camera. Her bag was tiny, but whatever.

Huh?

Batman calls his ride and Batman tells her she weighs more than 108 lbs, Haha. That makes me laugh.

They car picks them up and they drive out to the Nightmare Before Christmas wood Seriously with the Elfman soundtrack I expect to see the gate to Halloween land.

Batman drives off in silence, leaves flying as he races down the highway. SOO COOOOOL!!!!!!

I love how Vale is totally creeped out. Like adrenaline and fear kept her going, but now she’s like I don’t know this dude he could be taking me to his torture cave. She’s seriously freaked out.

Batman takes her to the batcave which is a dumb idea. You don’t take a reporter to your secret cave. In fact as a superhero you shouldn’t date a reporter! Especially one who is investigating both of you-superhero and secret identity. Batman’s Achilles heel.

Seriously dude!

He reveals what he knows as he wants her to print it. I love how he hides in the shadows. I love how Vicky is curious but uncertain.

The screen fades to black and bats and Vale wakes up passed out on her bed. Did he drug her?

Not cool bats.

She gives the newspaper what Batman gave her and its printed. Deodorants with baby powder, lipstick, and hairspray are all infected.

Joker is not so angry but hurt that Batman figured it out. I love it!

I love this movie. Sorry Christopher Nolan, Christian Bale, Ben Affleck, Zach Synder, and others. This movie is better than yours.

Sorry, not sorry!

Bruce goes to see Vale who gives him a cool reception. She was saved by Batman and you didn’t call after your night. She’s kinda over you.

This sucks for superheroes they are always competing with themselves for a girl.

Bruce tries to tell Vale about his “secret life” but it sounds like he is a creep or bipolar or has a weird love/torture room thing.

This scene is so funny. He is speaking gibberish and just sounds crazy . I love it. You know Vale is really nice, I would just been like you’re crazy get your butt outta here.

But before he can make any sense, someone rings the doorbell.

The Joker shows up and is angry that she has a “boyfriend”.

He tells Joker off and insulting him, egging him on, distracts him and pulls the fireplace poker out.

The Joker: Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Bruce Wayne: What?

The Joker: I always ask that of all my prey. I just… like the sound of it. [shoots him]

And the Joker shoots him. Bruce is dead!

Joker says goodbye and Vale cries, she dressed appropriately in black. How did she know a death would come?

But when she turns around Bruce is gone, her silver tray on the ground. He put it under his shirt and used it as armor.

SOOOO COOOL! And definitely a nod to the 39 Steps.

Vale opens the box and there is a Jack in the box hand with dead flowers. She goes to the newspaper office and Knox reveals Bruce’s sad backstory to Vale.

Meanwhile, Bruce is in he batcave. That saying that the Joker told him rally shook him up. He starts looking through the file on his parents. Hmm…how does this connect? (I know how I just like asking rhetorical questions)

Joker cuts into the broadcast again. “You guys have said some really mean things, some of which are true.” He has the best one liners.

Wow!

He announces that a midnight he will dump $20 million on the city. He announces this in PBS Masterpiece Theater style in a fancy old fashioned armchair and sweater vest. This guy. He calls out Batman to meet him and basically challenges him to a duel.

We then see a flashback of Bruce and his parents coming home from the theater.  Why they are walking and don’t have a car waiting when they are uber rich I don’t know. That makes the least bit of sense actually in all of this. Why walk down an alley. Why not have a car waiting?

How does this make any sense?!!

They get approached by a thug who steals his mother’s pearls and another who shoots them dead. The shooter asks Bruce:

“The Joker: You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

It was him, it was Jack. That guy looks just like that guy.

Vale storms to the batcave. How she figured it out when she is like the worst reporter, I don’t know. And like I said THIS IS WHY YOU DO’T DATE REPORTERS INVESTIGATING YOU OR BRING THEM TO YOUR SECRET HIDEOUT!!!

This was always my least favorite part. I love you stop doing this blah, blah. Vale you hardly know him.

He dresses in epic fashion. Gets going in his batmoblie, and speeds down to the warehouse, shoot the door down SOOOO COOOOOOOOL!!!!

Batmobile drops a bomb, and all are taken out at the factory. Batmobile continues down the fire and smoke. The factoy is destroyed, but the Joker is in a helocopter.

The Joker holds his own parade with ’80s music blasting. He dances on his float, OMG I love how the Joker has style. I love this movie.

Like seriously, he is Ferris Buellering it up, while his minions toss money int the street. But it isn’t real money, it is bills with his face on them. Which means, he must have some kind of evil plan, but what?

Joker says he giving money but where is Batman, and boom here he comes, flying overhead. Everyone puts masks on releasing noxious fumes from one of his balloons.

Vicky gets good pics While everyone is going crazy. Luckily Knox has a mask in his trunk and a baseball bat as he goes after the minions. He puts Vicky in the car, but that can’t really help her as air gets in the car. She should be going crazy too. It’s not like a car is air proof.

Weird

She  realizes this and drives off, hitting Knox and knocking him onto the hood, and into trash cans. Knox gets a cut on the side of his face. Ouch. Dang Vale.

Batman goes flying into the parade taking the balloons with him. Joker is seriously hurt that he stole his balloons. This cracks me up. I love this movie.

He so upset after Batman shoots his “number one guy” he needs a minute or two alone. OMG he cracks me up.

Batman goes flying down, missiles launched taking out the float. He launches it into Joker then misses because he has honor.

Joker pulls a gun out and shoots Batman from the sky with his giant gun.

His plan crashes and Vale goes charging after him. The plane is destroyed and Joker takes his giant shotgun, and Vale up into the church.

But Batman is alive, it takes more than bullets, crashed plane, fire, and a possible concussion to stop him (just kidding about concussion, he wears a helmet.)

Batman goes after them and knocks all the pews down in the church. Like this does nothing to help Vicky and to be honest it is kinda a jerky thing to do as the ushers are going to have to pick them all up next church service.

The joker forces Vicky up the staircase, like out of Vertigo, Batman follows, the police behind him.

Joker has her in the belltower, and shoots acid at the bell causing it to crash down and destroy the stairs. The police won’t save her, but Batman isn’t going to let a thing like no stairs stop him.

He’s Batman!

The police shine their searchlights at the top of the old church. Now it is time for the final showdown between Joker and Batman.

One minion really gets the punches in there and throws him over, but he’s batman, he uses his utility belt to get up and knock that guy over.

Joker continues dancing while batman stalks by. Vale spots him and distracts the Joker by kissing him.

You’re so powrful and purple, I  love purple. She ducks down and is she…? But Batman comes storming in.

Joker says you made me, but Batman counters with you made me.

WOW!

He pits glasses on and says you wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses. He manages to push both Vale and batman over the edge. They are hanging on the side of the building.

Is this he end?

Joker steps on the church’s old bricks trying to get it come crashing down on the two. His helicopter comes and it looks like it is the end.

Batman has one more thing, he shoots a batarang that gets the joker caught on a gargoyle. They can’t pull him up and  when they pull the gargoyle out, ouch as it is pulling down on is leg.

Joker can’t hold the weight, slips, and goes crashing down. So does the church roof, but Batman and Vale are saved.

The police gather around Joker’s body and  that’s his end of the reign of terror.

At the next press conference, thy reveal Batman gave them the bat signal to call him if they were ever in need. Vale walks off and looks up to the sky, then sees her man’s butler in his fancy car. And that is the amazing Batman (1989)

And just cause:

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Batman, go to Man-Bat: On Leather Wings, Batman the Animated Series (1992)

For more Tim Burton films, go to Once, There Was Even a Man Who Had Scissors for Hands: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

For more film-noir, go to This Is Fate We’re Talking About, and If Fate Works At All, It Works Because People Think That THIS TIME, It Isn’t Going to Happen!: Dead Again (1991)

For more Nostalgia Critic, go to Ever Heard of the Tommyknockers?: The Tommyknockers (1993)

Superhero Film or Stalker Thriller: Unbreakable (2000)

So with Glass having come out this year, I thought why not review the first of the trio-Unbreakable.

So I watched this film years ago in school. I think it was when I was a senior and they were doing STAR testing. It was in 2010 that I had watched it and M. Night Shyamalan had kinda hit a dive.

Ouch

There was The Sixth Sense that put him on stage- then Signs, which I liked. We then had The Village, which was blah-then Lady in the Water, The Happening, The Last Airbender, Devil, After Earth-all awful and horrible.

I had never heard of Unbreakable as it kind of slipped through the cracks. I don’t even remember any marketing for it-like with his other films. I think it was lost between the big success of The Sixth Sense (1999) and the marketing for Signs (2002).

Meh.

I think too is that it was a different type of film. It is not exactly a comic book film like Blade (1998), X-Men (2000), and Spider-Man (2002). It wasn’t a big action film, with fights, costumes, etc. It is a very different story.

So David Dunn (Bruce Willis) works security at the college stadium and he and his wife, Audrey (Robin Wright) have been having marital problems-they are sleeping in separate rooms and he looking to New York to find a new job (maybe as a police detective? Huh, any Die Hard fans out there?)

Everything changes when his train crashes-all are injured and die, except David.

After the accident his son, Joseph, sticks him like glue-horrified about how close he was to losing his father.

David gets an invitation to a gallery opening on comic books, and takes Joseph there. There they meet the owner-Elijah Price, who has been searching for someone like David.

Elijah Price (Samuel L. Jackson), has a rare condition where he is extremely fragile. He does barely anything, and his bones break. He knows that if there is someone like him out there-there must be the opposite-a strong man.

*Sidenote* I just noticed that Elijah Price wears a purple suit reminiscent of the Joker’s purple suit in Batman (1989). I never noticed that before, but it should have been a sign.

David thinks he is crazy, and leaves. Joseph, however, loves the idea of him being a superhero and keeps pushing and testing him.

Elijah doesn’t give up and slowly David begins to accept the idea as well and tries to become a hero.

Wow!

Now when I re-watched this film, I realized something. This isn’t really a superhero film, but a crazy stalker film.

I mean David clearly tells Elijah to leave him alone, that he is not interested-but Elijah doesn’t give up. He goes to his work, calls him, implements himself into his life, gets his wife as his physical therapist and goes at her too.

This guy is a serious creep!

Soon Elijah has even manipulated himself into being David’s best friend and confidante. In fact it is SUPER creepy.

Spooky…

I mean imagine if David was a woman, and constantly telling the guy not interested-but he went after her, her child, her husband-that’s a Lifetime plot!

I mean, if you look at the film that way instead of a superhero film-it is a super creepy movie. I don’t know if I’m just more sensitive because of my ex-but I recommend re-watching the film, and look at it through that lens-it is much scarier and I think way better.

And the facebook banner:

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Bruce Willis, go to Secrets are Great, Unless You Get Caught: Perfect Stranger (2007)

For more Samuel L. Jackson, go to We’re Mad Scientists. We’re Monsters: Avengers, Age of Ultron (2015)

For more superheroes, go to Austen Avengers Assemble!

Na Na Na Na Batman!

For those of you who don’t know, today is Batman Day!

So as one who loves to celebrate holidays (real and made up) and one who loves Batman:

I am all for it!!! I don’t know about you but I’m about to geek out in my Batman gear, read Batman comics, watch Batman movies, and the  ’90s Batman show (the best in my opinion).

So I hope you all have one super day!

For more on Batman, go to Fanning All Over the Place

For more holiday posts, go to A Pirate’s Life is the Life for Me