But If Any of It Fell Into the Wrong Hands…:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II, Secret of the Ooze (1991)

But if any of it fell into the wrong hands… I’m well aware of the risks.

So now we come to our last Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle review of Horrorfest V. Will they be back next year? I don’t know. But for now, let’s get this review on the road.

If you’ve been following me you’ve read this already, but for the new readers I’m giving a little background as to why I choose a TMNT film. If you have seen it already, feel free to skip ahead

So this is our third installment of four reviews of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ films.

So I know those of you who haven’t been following me, and have stumbled upon this post are probably really confused. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? As a horror film? NO WAY.

I know you are all saying to yourselves, hey this is a superhero movie, not a horror film. Au contraire, you see the turtles are radioactively enhanced to be larger; agile, smarter, etc. In fact the only thing that separates them from other radioactively changed creatures: such as the ants in Them, the giant spider in the Tarantula, or even Godzilla. They choosing to use their abilities for good and be superheroes doesn’t change the fact of how they were made.

This Post We Are Switching Things UP!!

So I started Horrorfest V with the 2014 live action film, and worked backwards to the 2007 animated version.  The former had a Frankenstein-like quality and the latter had monsters. I decided to skip Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993) when they travel back in time to Japan, and went with the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990). Now we are going to look into the sequel where we get the turtles backstory along with more mutated creatures.

So we saw a big shift with this film. Because of complaints about violence, the film was lighter than the original and the turtles hardly use their weapons. Casey Jones was seen as “too violent” and his character replaced by one of the turtle stuntmen actors, Ernie Reyes Jr., being the teenager Keno.

They also had a bit of a fight over the story. The comic book writers wanted them to follow their stories, like the first film did, while the TV execs wanted them to follow the TV as that was more mainstream and child friendly. What we have is a combination of the two, with elements from both.

After their battle with the Foot clan, the Turtles found themselves homeless. April took them in, and they have been living in her apartment since then, off of a lot of pizza delivery.

Pizza delivery boy, Keno, is out dropping off his pizza’s when he comes across a burglary.

Not good

Keno: Hold it! You guys are under arrest.

Burglar: What are you, night security?

Keno: No, I’m a pizza delivery.

[the gang laugh and attack, and Keno easily kicks their butts]

Keno: Did I mention I also study the martial arts?

But even with that, Keno is no match for their numbers. Luckily he has a a certain, special crew looking out for him.

But Keno has seen them, and four giant turtles is something he won’t forget easily.

AMAZING!

Back at the house the turtles get into am argument over whether to stay hidden or reveal themselves. Raphael is eager to be “out of the shadows”.

Couldn’t resist

Splinter: Their world can never be ours.

Michaelangelo: Uh… Not even pizza?

Splinter: [after pause] Pizza’s okay.

[the turtles sigh with relief]

Michaelangelo: Man, give a guy a heart attack.

Meanwhile, Tatsu has grabbed the remaining members of the Foot and have them situated in a junkyard to regroup. He is planning on taking lead control of the Foot, when he is interrupted.

The Shredder

Yes Shredder lived! And he is back with a deep rooted vengeance and a thirst for blood. Turtle blood.

So April is out reporting on Techno Global Research Industries (TGRI) as they are doing a cleanup of a few spilled canisters. April feels as if there is more to the story, but she can’t get anything else out of Professor Jordan Perry.

After she is gone, Professor Perry reveals there is a lot more going on.

[after being given a giant mutated dandelion]

Professor Jordan Perry: You know, if the soil’s contaminated so far away, there must be more leaky canisters than we thought.

TGRI Assisstant #1: Well, how can that be? They were only buried fifteen years ago.

Professor Jordan Perry: Fifteen, fifty. Just make sure that the rest are found and removed!

TGRI Assistant #1: Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to invite the press.

Professor Jordan Perry: Sometimes the best place to hide is right out in public.

TGRI Assisstant #1: But if any of it fell into the wrong hands…

[Perry looks as giant dandelion]

Professor Jordan Perry: I’m well aware of the risks.

And unbeknownst to them, April’s new camera guy is watching.

And he’s not just a reporter who has stumbled onto this story; but a member of the Foot.

Not good.

When Shredder finds out about this, he wants Dr. Perry as he has a plan.

Back with the turtles, they have been watching the report and fighting whether to continue or watch something new. Splinter comes in, and when he sees the report reveals something the Turtles never expected…that company was the one that created/housed the mutagen that made them all.

WHAT!

They decide they need to find Dr. Perry and find out the answers to their questions, and to why or how they were created.

Both groups head down to TGRI, after the Dr. and the last canister of mutagen.

They all fight, but Shredder makes off with both prizes.

When they return to the apartment, they have another surprise. Keno has come to “deliver pizzas” but in reality to track down these things he saw. And what he sees is a shock.

[about to leave April’s apartment, having seen Raph’s foot pretruding from behind the changing curtain and becoming suspicious about their weapons “she” has lying around]

Keno: One last thing, though. I think you might want to know about THIS! [slams his foot on Raph’s]

Raphael: ARGH! [Raph comes out from behind the curtain]

Keno: It’s you guys!

Raphael:[cluthching his foot and being held back by Donny, Leo, and Mikey] Ah, ah! Let me hurt him. Please! Tell me I can hurt him! Please, please! Grr!

[Splinter puts his hand on Keno’s shoulder]

Splinter: I think you’d better sit down.

[Keno sees Splinter and faints]

After Keno wraps his head around what is going on, he wants to help. He tells them how the Foot are recruiting people and that maybe he should go down and be a spy for them. This is rejected by Leonardo as he knows that if Keno, a pizzaguy, found them, then the Foot will be there soon. It is time to find a new home.

However, Raphael doesn’t always listen to Leo, and he and Keno come up with a plan.

Meanwhile, Shredder is trying to force Dr. Perry to redo the mutation that happened to the turtles. He wants a duo of monsters that he can control and unleash on the turtles. His crew searched all New York, and all they could get was a wolf and a snapping turtle. Dr. Perry continues the experiment and they become Tokka and Rahzar.

These took place of Rocksteady and Bebop, the mutated Rhino and Warthog.

But while these are gruesome creations, they aren’t exactly what the Shredder wanted.

And they unleash him out in the city.

The turtles, san Raphael, have found a new home in an abandoned subway area. They head out to try and help the city while Keno and Raphael try to infiltrate the Foot. They pass the tests and Keno is in, but then Raphael is captured by the Foot.

Keno escapes and warns the turtles who head out to the junkyard.

There they meet Tokka and Rahzar and discover that while they are babies, they have recived a higher dose of the mutagen and are much stronger. They save Dr. Perry and head back to their new home.

Back at their place, Donatello questions Dr. Perry about the mutagen and finds out it was an accident. This upsets him as he thought, maybe, there was more to why they were created.

Splinter: What troubles you, my son?

Donatello: I-I don’t know. I just thought there would be more to it; to the ooze, to you know, us!

Leonardo: I know!

Donatello: I just always thought there would be something that… I thought we’d find out we were special.

Splinter: Do not confuse the professor’s words with your current worth, my son.

Donatello: But I don’t believe him! There’s just got to be more to it!

But soon, they must focus to the task at hand. Shredder has given April a message, the Turtles must fight Tokka and Rahzar that night, or else they will be unleashed in Central Park. They are now on a timeline and must work quickly to figure out a way to stop them.

They discover that the creatures must eat their antidote and Michelangelo comes up with the idea to infuse donuts with them.

They try their plan out, but things do not go right.

They end up breaking a club wall and take the fight to the dance floor, music by Vanilla Ice.

Shredder has drinken the last of the serum and mutated gimself.

Is the Shredder dead? Never! You can never stop him!

Back at home Splinter asks about the fight. The turtles try to hide some of the events, but the people of New York saw a LOT.

Splinter: Were you seen?

Leonardo: Of course not, Master Splinter.

Donatello: We practiced Ninja.

Michaelangelo: [off camera] The art of invisibility.

[Splinter appears from behind Raph] Splinter: [holds up the New York Post, with a front page picture of the turtles on stage, with the headline “Ninja Rap is Born!”] Practice harder.

[the turtles groan]

Splinter: Ten flips, now! And remember: “Go Ninja, go Ninja, go!” I made another funny! Ha ha ha ha!

A fantastic film, and the last of our series. And because I just love this guys I decided I just had to be one for Halloween.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Man, I love being a turtle!

To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to I Can Make You all Go Away! Any Time I Want To!: Charlie X, Star Trek (1966)

For more on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, go to I Came Upon a Shattered Glass Jar and Four Baby Turtles Crawling into a Strange Glowing Ooze: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

For more on creating monsters, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For more films based on books, go to It was a Horseman, a Dead One. Headless: Sleepy Hollow (1999)

Return of the Fandom

So we are back with our usual scheduled fandom posts. Here are another group of things I have fandomed over. I hope they strike your FANcy and that you check them out for yourselves.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Go here to see what movie you are

I am a huge Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT) fan.

In fact, as I am currently writing this I am wearing my TMNT shirt. Yeah I fandom to the extreme.

Not in a sewer extreme, but you get my point.

So for those of you who for some strange reason might not know who the Turtles are; they are a group of four boy turtles who are raised by a rat named Splinter. He named them after the great artists: Donatello, Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo. They come across some mutagen, and become more humanlike. Splinter teaches them ninjutsu and they become vigilante superheroes; saving the people of New York. One of their biggest villains is the leader of the Foot clan and the man who killed Splinter’s owner,Oroku Saki, also known as the Shredder.

So I grew up watching the ’80s TV show and while very silly it was a lot of fun. You have the four turtles who are reared by Splinter, solving crime and kicking Shredder butt. For those of you who have never watched this, Shredder is aided by his two dumb as rock minions, RockSteady and Bebop, a mutant rhino and warthog; along with a banished brain alien from Dimension, Krang. They also aasist April in outwitting her annoying, egotistical, jerk of a coworker, Vernon.

The boys team up with the awesome April O’Neil, along with her friend Irma (who has a crush on one of the turtles. Even though she is older and a girl). And of course the amazing Casey Jones, vigilante athlete.

And let’s not forget that the show had one great theme song!

Now while I liked the show, I LOVED the TMNT movies of the ’90s. I used to watch them over and over again;

And my sister, friends, and I would act them all out. I was always Donatello.

The first two in the series: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991) were the best in the series. The characters were played perfectly. In the first film we have a great introduction and backstory into how the turtles were created and learned to be ninjas. In the second they see the return of Shredder and having to fight other mutant beings.

The third one they go back in time to Japan. It isn’t horrible, but not as nearly as awesome as the first two.

In fact I urge you to watch the 1990 film as it really was just so, so, so, so amazing.

I hated the newer film TMNT (2007) as it sucked and made no sense at all. And don’t get me started on the Michael Bay version, as they look creepy and I hate Megan Fox. In fact I have decided that this October I am going to review all the live action TNMT films. As they have been mutated, they fall under a horror film.

But besides those horrible later depictions, I have always loved the turtles and wished they were real and that I could hang out with them.

For more on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, go to Pizza Power

 The Thorn Birds

So my friend was really into the Thorn Birds, I had never heard of it before. She suggested we watch it,

but unfortunately she didn’t own it, it was too much for us to buy, and our university library didn’t have it. But our county library did, although only on VHS. Luckily I had a VHS player so that was okay.

Strangely, someone else was watching the mini series while we were. We had to wait for the next installment, almost like how it would to watch it when it aired.

So the series is a historical romance. It begins in the early 20th century when the Cleary family moves to Australia. Paddy Cleary and his wife have four sons and one daughter, Meggie. Paddy’s sister, Mary, owns a huge ranch, and offers him a job there.

When they arrive the meet the very handsome priest, Ralph de Bricassart (Richard Chamberlain), who has been sent to the ends of the earth for insulting a bishop. He is very ambitious and has befriended Mary in order to woo out a dig donation so he can go back to “civilization.” Mary lusts after Ralph and wants him, but he refuses to break his vows for her.

Not everything is happy in the Cleary family. Mrs. Cleary, Fee, loves her oldest son Frank the most and ignores her other children, except for treating Meggie cruelly. Paddy loves his sons, except Frank, and ignores Meggie as well.

The youngest son, Hal dies; and Frank is revealed to not be Paddy’s son, but the child of his mother and her lover. When he left her and she found out she was pregnant, her wealthy family married her off to the stablehand who was in love with her. After this comes out Frank leaves the home to find his own fortune.

Meanwhile, Ralph has been taking care of Meg at the parsonage; making sure she has the attention and care a child needs. Meg idolizes Ralph and crushes on him. Meggie grows, the two develop feelings for each other and Ralph tries to stay far away from her. Mary notices the attraction and writes two wills, one in which Paddy inherits 13 million and one where it all goes to the Catholic Church. She gives both to Ralph who must decide on what to do.

There is a lot more betrayal, love, bad decisions, and drama in the series, but I don’t want to give it all to you. It was a pretty good show, with interesting characters. A little soap operay, but still interesting. And of course the main reason why I kept watching, Richard Chamberlain. That man was built to perfection.

Touched by an Angel

This was one of my favorite TV shows of the ’90s. I used to watch this all the time.

The TV show is about three angels who are sent on Earth to help bring guidance or messages from God. The first angel is Monica (Roma Downey) who is young and inexperienced angel. She takes on an every day job to get closer to her person, and approaches them when they are in the crossroads of a decision. Her older mentor Tess (Della Reese) is there to make sure she doesn’t reveal herself to be an angel too early.

There was also the angel Andrew (John Dye) who I absolutely loved, but was always sad to see as he was the Angel of Death, there to take a life to heaven.

It was a truly great and inspirational show. Netflix and Amazon, bring it to streaming!

Twin Peaks

Twin Peaks was an awesome show that had, sadly, a very short run. It was directed and written by David Lynch who loved to do things about beautiful perfect places, that have secrets and dark things under the surface.

It starts with a young, perfect, beautiful, straight-A student, Laura Palmer body being found. Why would anyone want to kill her? It turns out that her murder is similar to others that have occurred, bring in FBI agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlen) to investigate.

When he gets to the town he discovers a crazy group of characters as he searches for the truth. Everything from adultery, betrayal, prostitution, investment schemes, drugs, etc. lie underneath the peaceful scenery.

Agent Dale Cooper, how can I describe him?

To see who you are, go here.

is the absolute best as he is adorable, strong, brave, courageous, poetic, intelligent. Just dreamy…I love him.

There are a lot of great supporting cast too. I really like Audrey Horne. Little rich girl, but trying to be more. I just loved her and Dale together, but I know it would never work as she is too young. She is a really great character.

I also loved the Donna and James storyline, but the actress who played Donna originally was replaced. I liked the first person better.

Some people think this show is too “dramatic” but it revolutionized TV, and a lot of later mystery shows we have today never would have been created. Without its groundbreaking there would be no Veronica Mars, The Killing, Pretty Little Liars, etc.

And for those who are major fans like me, you’ll love the Psych parody episode, Dual Spires in which a large portion of the original cast was willing to guest star.

And I am so excited that it is coming back. I just can’t wait until it is up!

For more Twin Peaks, go to Stranger Things Have Happened

For more on the Nostalgia Critic, go to Gypsy Justice: Thinner (1996)

For the previous post, go to The Fan, The Girl

And Stay tuned for part 25