Walking on Pins and Needles

So do you remember a post a while back when I compared myself to The Little Mermaid, not the film version, but the book.

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In the book, the Little Mermaid in her deal to walk on land, trades the comfort of walking along with her voice. Every step she takes feels as if she has knives stabbed into her feet. I had tried to get into shape by doing squats and overdid it, creating very sore thighs. (Read more about it in The Little Moreland)

ouch Hermione

Well it happened again.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

But this time it wasn’t my fault.

Mmhm great gatsby

I mean it!

So every year in my community there is this big free event in which they give away backpacks, clothes, and all other things to kids and families in need.

free stuff

The woman in charge asked me if I would help out this year and do face painting. I like doing face painting and have for years, so I agreed.

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That day I got there before the event started, and it was packed. I ran over to the table were we had everything set up, but there was one problem. They had only provided three chairs. I had brought an extra chair, but that wasn’t enough for us three volunteers and the people whose faces we would be  painting.

Spoke too soon

We managed to find one more chair, but that was still one too few. Me being nice as I am, went without.

big mistake

I thought that we might have breaks in between, but no. It was a never ending line of children and parents.

Under Capricorn Aah oh no ugh

I spent three hours squatting and painting non-stop. I was only saved the last hour as when other people went home, and they found a chair for me to use.

Finally something GOOD!

Finally!

When the event ended I was in so much pain. My thighs and feet hurt. Every step I took I could hear a popping noise or it was extremely sore.

ouch Hermione

The next day was extremely painful too. Every step was excruciating. But hey, at least it was for charity instead of vanity? Right?

Gotcha!

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For more stories of my everyday life, go to I Call A Do-Over

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You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat: Jaws (1975)

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You’re gonna need a bigger boat…

Jaws really is revolutionary movie. It is an amazing piece of cinema that breaks a lot of previous horror film rules. It focuses on both the people and the creature they are trying to kill. The camera uses are unparalleled. Instead of constantly being shown the shark (as it malfunctioned a lot) it is filmed from the shark’s point of  [something down later in Friday the 13th (1980)] which adds to the terror of the film.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!

This also was the first “summer blockbuster” film. It opened on 409 screens nationwide (unusual for the time) and quickly became the highest grossing film of all time. Previous to Jaws, they would show the film on a few screens and then move the picture around. This mass-screening, all-over at the same time became so popular that it set the standard for what film companies do today. Jaws lost its place as the highest grossing film of all time in 1977 when Star Wars IV: A New Hope came out.

This film also brought a huge interest in sharks and marine biology. Now previous to this film you had monster movies and horror films that were about sea creatures attacking. Films such as The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms were you have some radioactive created creature that is ginormous and attacks the world. Or the mythological fishman from The Creature from the Black LagoonGodzilla, being another radioactively changed creature that is trying to destroy or protect the city. It Came From Beneath the Sea a giant octopus that causes havoc and destruction. The Monster that Challenged the World where giant mollusks come out of a crevice in the ground and try to kill everyone. But have you noticed something? All of these are large creatures, most of the time accidentally or purposely genetically altered. Or fake, such as the fishman. None of these were an actual creature that you could come into contact with…like a great white shark. Not only is Bruce (the shark in the film, named after Steven Spielberg’s lawyer) something real and normal-sized; but he’s just freaky! The book and the film both present actual data (although more studies proved some of the behavior previously associated with great whites are false) and an actual creature you could come upon. I mean great white sharks have over 300 teeth, they can get to be over 21 feet long, they are pretty fast swimmers, can jump out of the water, and are constant eating machines. How could you not be afraid?

Shark Jaws

But just like Spielberg’s other film Jurassic Park made dinosaurs the “it” thing (and they have been ever since, although never as on top as in the ’90s) Jaws made sharks really cool. And they remain so. I remember back in grade school sharks were just so awesome! We had a guy come to our class that did a whole presentation on sharks, and everyone was riveted. And people still remain so. Sharks will never stop being cool. I mean after all, ever summer we have a week devoted to them, Shark Week, on the Discovery channel. Buzzfeed even did a quiz on “What Type of Shark are You”. And did I take this quiz  you may ask? You bet I did!

To see what type you are, go here.

To see what type you are, go here.

Yep, Jaws is pretty amazing. So I’m sure you are now ready for the review, but I’m not about to go there just yet. So Jaws is based on the book by the same name, authored by Peter Benchley. The book was okay, but I preferred the movie. Unlike the book Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton; Jaws the book doesn’t hold a candle to the film version. This mostly has to do with the way they create the characters in the book. Hooper in the film is a an arrogant-rich kid, but you like him because he really gets involved in his work, and loses some of that stigma as the film progresses. In the book he is always annoying and he has an affair with Brody’s wife. The whole affair took away from the storyline and seemed tossed in, rather than attempting to flow.

Now the film on the other hand, follow the story pretty closely, but takes out the extra action not really needed. Plus the people they chose where just perfect. Roy Scheider was an amazing Chief Brody, balancing being a tough police chief, with a scared i-don’t-know-what-to-do everyday person. Richard Dreyfuss, as I mentioned earlier, smoked it as Hooper the marine biologist/rich kid. And Robert Shaw. No one will ever hold a candle to your Quint, no matter how the world may try.

thats-how-its-done

So now let’s get back to film review-wait, wait wait. Let me say one last thing. So it feels really weird to be talking about this film without mentioning a few more memories. So let me say I have seen every Jaws film created, even the incredibly horrible ones (as pretty much each sequel was). I actually watched them all at a really young age with my older sister Paige. They were doing a movie marathon and we sat down and saw them all (which took a long time as these are not short films). When I was older, I actually couldn’t remember the finer points of the film, the biggest thing that stuck in my mind was the SeaWorld underwater tunnels and shark attack in Jaws 3-D.

Now every 4th of July I used to do the same thing. I would watch the Twilight Zone marathons that they would show on the SciFi, now SyFy, channel. (I know, I know. I’m a huge fan, but have yet to review any episode for a Horrorfest. I promise I will do at least one next year.) SyFy stopped doing this for a while (they have since brought it back but every year is iffy). Now AMC does some movie marathons on the 4th of July that usually had some patriotic feeling (like Rocky). One year they did a Jaws marathon, as the 4th of July plays a huge role in the film. I watched it that year and loved it all over again. Now my tradition trades off between Twilight Zone and Jaws every 4th of July.

love it

So now we are seriously back on to the film review.

Shark Jaws

First let’s set the mood. It is the summer of 1975. Many families, young adults, teens, etc. are vacationing at beaches. Amity Island (where our story takes place) is one such beach. It is located on the east coast (a sort of Martha’s Vineyard that poor and rich can afford). On this particular night there are quite a few college age kids having bonfires on the beach. They are drinking beer, toking up (it is the ’70s), etc. One guy, Tom Cassidy, spots a blonde, Chrissie. The two run off away from the crowd to “be alone”.

Mhm great gatsby

As they get far from the crowds, Chrissie begins stripping and invites Tom in for some moonlight skinny dipping. She dives in right away and Tom tries to follow. However, he is far too bombed and collapses on the beach.

Chrissie is unaware and continues to swim. This is the last swim she will ever take.

The next day we are introduced to Martin Brody, the new Chief of Police. Brody is a native of New York City, but he and his family moved out to take over the Amity Island police force as they thought it would be easier, simpler and less deadly.

the irony iron

Anyways, we’ll get into that later. So Chief Brody (Scheider) has been called to go looking for Chrissie. He and his deputy Hendricks, go down to the beach to search for clues. It doesn’t take them long until they discover her corpse.

victim

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back at the police station he gets asked to deal with the usual cases of the day; kids karate chopping down fences and other stuff. It seems to be business as usual until the report comes back. It states Shark Attack.

What!

Immediately, Brodie runs to the hardware store to pick up materials to make sign to close the beaches.

jawsrideclosed

However, the Mayor doesn’t like that. He knows that if word gets around that there are sharks in the water he can say good-bye to all those summer dollars.

Good-bye

Good-bye

Without that money, the winter will be hard on everyone. These people depend on the summer dollars to keep the island going year round. The Mayor convinces the coroner to “take a second look” of which causes the coroner to determine he had made “a mistake”. There was no shark attack, just a boating accident as she swam into a propeller.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

Since that is the decision, Brody can’t do anything but allow the beaches to remain open. But this is all against his better judgement.

BadFeelings

But hey, he is a newcomer that lives in a small town. He has to play the politics. Even if they have dire consequences.

dun-dun-duuuun

So as time goes on more tourists come to the island. The beaches are stock full of visitors. Brody is worried and nervously scans the water. Everything is fine…until it isn’t.

I just love that scene when they zoom into Brodie’s face. It is fantastic. So Bruce sure did a number.

Shark Jaws

After her son’s death, Mrs. Kitner issues a $3000 reward for the capture of the shark. The town holds a meeting in which Brody lets them know he contacted someone from the Oceanographic Institute for advice. Brody wants to close down the beaches, but no one will listen. The fighting is interrupted by Quint, in one of the best scenes.

So great it was spoofed:

Brody goes home and orders his children to go nowhere near the water, even though his son Michael just got a new boat. Brody’s wife Ellen thinks he is overreacting, that is until she looks at the pictures in his shark book. She then firmly decides that staying out of the water is a great idea.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With such a high bounty, everyone wants to kill the shark. Expert fishermen from all over. Average joes. Everybody.

Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) comes to town, as he is the person from the Oceanographic Institute. He has an interesting background. Hooper was a rich boy that was into science and became a marine biologist. This can often be something that is hard to fund, so his parents + trust fund really come in handy.

Anyways, once Brody finds out who he is, has has him take a look at the remains.

“[Hooper is examining the remains of the first victim – describes the post-mortem into his tape recorder]

Hooper: The height and weight of the victim can only be estimated from the partial remains. The torso has been severed in mid-thorax; there are no major organs remaining…Right arm has been severed above the elbow with massive tissue loss in the upper musculature… partially denuded bone remaining…[to the m.e. and Brody] This was no boat accident! [to Brody] Did you notify the Coast Guard about this?

Brody: No. It was only local jurisdiction.

Hooper: [continues post-mortem] The left arm, head, shoulders, sternum and portions of the rib cage are intact…[to Brody] Do not smoke in here, thank you very much. [lifts up the severed arm] This is what happens. It indicates the non-frenzied feeding of a large squalus – possibly Longimanus or Isurus glauca. Now… the enormous amount of tissue loss prevents any detailed analysis; however the attacking squalus must be considerably larger than any normal squalus found in these waters. Didn’t you get on a boat and check out these waters?

Brody: No.

Hooper: Well, this is not a boat accident! And it wasn’t any propeller; and it wasn’t any coral reef; and it wasn’t Jack the Ripper! It was a shark.

Conclusion: Shark

Shark Jaws

Meanwhile, out on the ocean, some fishermen have caught a large shark. Everyone is happy to see it and that the reign of terror is over. The monster has been slain.

Double double yay

Hooper steps up to investigate the shark:

Jaws-wrong-shark-dreyfuss-scheider

And tells everyone that it is the wrong shark. It is a tiger shark, not a great white. The bite radius is all wrong. They decide to keep the beaches closed until they can cut him open and see if the remains are inside it. Before they leave, Mrs. Kinter arrives and  slaps Brody across the face. She heard about the deaths and how they suspected sharks were in the area and blames Brody for everything.

Now Brody just takes this as he blames himself, but I always hated that. It wasn’t his fault! He wanted to stop them from keeping the beaches open. It was the greedy, evil mayor who wouldn’t listen.

Mayor from Buffy the vampire slayer

Mayor from Buffy the vampire slayer

Well, I guess he could be much worse.

So Hooper joins the Brody clan for dinner. Now in the book, Ellen knew Hooper’s older brother and the two just spent the time reminiscing. They later had an affair. Luckily Speilberg was smart enough to cut that out, and they instead discuss the situation. Hooper explains that a rogue shark will often claim territory to an area where the feeding is good and will remain there until the food source is gone. In order to protect the town, they decide they need to get down there and cut that shark open.

No human remains means that the real shark is out there. Bruce? Where are you hiding?

da dum Jaws

Here I am!

Here I am!

Hooper decides they have to go out that night as the Great White Shark is a night feeder. Now Brody hates the water, as we mentioned earlier, but goes out with Hooper. Using Hooper’s fancy equipment, they pick up a fishing boat, that Brody recognizes as Ben Gardner’s. Hooper dives under and finds one big surprise.

The next morning Brody and Hooper try to get the Mayor to listen to them, but all the Mayor is thinking about is the graffiti on the Amity Island billboard.

Sign from Universal Studios Backstage Tour

Sign from Universal Studios Backstage Tour

Hooper has figured out that the shark that is attacking is a great white. The evidence all points to it and they need to close the beaches down. But the mayor won’t listen to him. Hooper lost the Great White Shark tooth he found and the Mayor sees it as tooo convinent. He believes that Hooper is just trying to spread a sensation as he wants to be written up in the National Geographic or something. However, that’s not the real truth. To be honest, the Mayor is just thinking about making money over saving lives.

Bad things happen when you don't listen

Bad things happen when you don’t listen

July 4th the beaches are flooded. This is not good, not good at all. Brody, Hooper, and the cops are constantly patrolling the beaches, but all are on edge as they are waiting…waiting for the shark to attack.

come on

Michael, Brody’s son, wants to go in the water, but Brody won’t let him. He tells him to go to the estuary instead as it is safer.

You never learn

You never learn

Suddenly a shark fin appears in the water

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!

But it turns out to be just a prank. Some stupid kids decided to dress as a shark. Seriously guys, what were you thinking?

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

While everyone is watching this and dealing with it…not too far away something happens.

da dum Jaws

A girl painting down by the estuary see’s a shark. She starts crying out the word, but most think it is a hoax. Brody starts to head over, but when he hears his son is down there he runs like crazy.

Now this is a great scene but I can’t find a good clip of it online. You’ll just have to watch the film! So Michael and his friends get capsized along with another guy. The shark devours tons of people, including the man that tried to help them.

Here I am!

Here I am!

Michael makes it out okay, but suffers severely from shock. Brody takes him to the hospital and yells at the Mayor, demanding that he pay all of Quints commands and let’s him kill the shark.

So the three set out to catch that fish, even though they face some issues. Quint wants to go it alone, but Brody insists that he and Hooper have to come along. Quints dislikes Hooper as he sees him as some rich boy having fun with daddy’s money, not a real fisherman or worker like Quint. Quint also dislikes having Brody as he knows nothing about fish or fishing, but at least he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty. Hooper is tired of the all the “you don’t know nothing, kid” crap he is getting from Quint and also annoyed at Brody. Brody has a fear of the water that he is trying to overcome, managing two grown men who are acting like children, and is afraid that he might not make it home to see family. There is a lot of stuff going on.

What!

 Once at sea they start getting ready for the hunt. Baiting lines. Chumming the water. And that is when we have the most famous lines from the film uttered. (You know it wasn’t even scripted. Scheider just uttered it in the heat of the moment.)

And that is when the real hunting begins!

That night the guys get drunk and start bonding. Singing drinking songs. Comparing scars and wounds. You know, the typical guy stuff. But that’s when things get serious and Quint describes his hatred for sharks.

At this moment, its not about the money. It’s not about the fame. Quint has become Captain Ahab, and he wants his whale…or shark in this case.

In fact this is one of the most dramatic scenes in the film as you get the underlying reason why this is so important to him. Of course as it is one of the most famous scenes, it has to be parodied.

Back to the film. The next day the hunt continues. They try and take the shark but Bruce proves to more powerful than they expected. They tried to reel it on, but it nearly capsized the Orca. Hooper decides to be lowered down in a shark cage to shoot Bruce with a harpoon filled with strychnine nitrate.

Hooper manages to escape the shark. This was were he was supposed to die, but then Speilberg changed his mind. After attacking Hooper, Bruce decides to go after the ship.

Jaws Shark attack

Pic of the shark from the Universal Backstage Tour ride

He crushes it and causes it to lean toward him. Brody and Quint struggle to hold on, but Quint loses his grip and finds himself in the belly of the beast.

jaws-6

Brody takes on killing the shark all by himself. This is why Brody is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One Shark Week on Discovery channel they actually tested out everything in the film. They discovered that if you shot a tank from the 1970s you could blow up a shark. You just have to shoot it right.

Hooper finally gets his act together and meets up with Brody, the two creating a raft and swimming off in the distance.

“I used to be afraid of the water,” Brody admits.

“I can’t imagine why,” Hooper replies.

TheEnd_Title_2

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But that’s not the end of the post. Oh, no we still have a bit more to cover. 🙂

So for my 20th birthday, my parents told me we could do whatever I wanted. It was the last time they were going to throw a party for me. I really wanted to go to Disneyland as the last time I had gone was when I was 12 (I went recently and will do a post on what it was like later). I decided on Universal Studios as it was much cheaper, and they were having a special for their anniversary that you buy a pass, you get in free for the year! Sweet!

So as we entered the gates, I was asked by a worker to fill out a survey for a free gift. You know me and free.

free stuff

So I did and we got to skip the lines for the Backstage Studio Tour! Whooooooooooo!!!!!

Double double yay

So you see all kinds of cool things on that tour, but I’m not going to speak on everything. We gotta stay Jaws focused here. So at one point we drive to Amity Island.

Sign from Universal Studios Backstage Tour

Sign from Universal Studios Backstage Tour

We see the fake shark that they thought was Bruce but wasn’t.

Jaws

Then we things get intense. Bruce attacks!

Jaws Shark attack

There were actually three Bruces created for the film. The first one is passed along museums, the second is at Universal studios, and the third privately owned. After Bruce attacks, they blow him up!

Jaws

It’s so intense! The flames feel so close! It’s AWESOME!

love it

Later I got to see Brody’s actual costume in the Universal Pictures Museum (that’s where I saw the Marty McFly one from Back to the Future: Part III).

Jaws

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But that’s not the end! So the other day a friend and I were discussing Jaws and Bruce’s motives.

Anjelica: Is this a horror movie? Or is it an animal, drama/history movie about a misunderstood shark that only wants hugs from others, but his eating disorder and anger issues gets in the way?

Me: Horror film. He is purposely hunting down Brody and his family, as seen in the sequels.

Anjelica: “Hunting down” or passionately pursuing the family he always wanted to have. Jaws should just befriend, Orca: The Killer Whale. lol

Me: I have changed my view on Bruce the shark. So Quint was in a shark attack but survived. He was supposed to die in it but somehow cheated death. Bruce is a supernatural entity (that’s why he can’t really die and comes back in the 3 sequels) in the guise of a shark that has been hunting him down to right that past wrong. He finally succeeds in killing him and is supposed to take Hooper too (as he dies in the book and original draft of the script) but Brody gets in the way. In fact Brody manages to destroy his “earthly form”. Then Bruce becomes angry and falls from his post (like Davy Jones in the Pirates films) and starts hunting for Brody, along with taking down all of his family.

So there we have it. I have officially joined the dark side. I have fully become a tumblr with that last comment.

Star Wars Dark side power Darth vader

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So there we go. One of the best horror films that have affected us as people so strongly. People are afraid to swim because of this movie. Ever summer one week on the Discovery Channel is devoted to sharks. The theme is so AWESOME!!!!! I mean every time you go in water you have to hum it.

Jaws

It is one amazing film. If you haven’t seen it, watch it. If you have seen it, watch it again.

Jaws

And that’s the real end. I swear. Hope you enjoyed it!

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to Monster Movie

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For more on Jaws, go to Part X: The Movie List That Would Not Die

For more shark attacks, go to For All the Men Who Wonder What It’s Like

For more on hunting a monster, go to Let Them Fight

For more monster movies, go to Keep Clear Of the Moor. Beware the Moon

For more films based on a book, go to Murder is My Favorite Crime

For more films that spanned sequels, go to You Will Die in Seven Days

For more in Universal Studios, go to There Are Many Strange Legends in the Amazon

For more quizzes, go to I’m Batman!

For more on Star Wars, go to Part IX: Adventures in Movie Lines

For more Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to Every Time I Bring a Girl Over, You Try to Eat Her!

All I Know About Trilogies is That in the Third One, All Bets are Off: Scream 3 (2000)

Scream3_ver2

What do you know about trilogies? You mean like movie trilogies…Well, all I know about trilogies is that in the third one, all bets are off.

So welcome to another Scream-tastic Saturday! (For the previous Saturdays, go to Scream and Scream 2)

Scream-Casey-Becker-drew-barrymore-31896958-2560-1088

Yep the third installment in this now trilogy, Scream 3.

While this was a great horror parody, it wasn’t my favorite of the three. I thought it was okay, as it had Patrick Dempsey, but didn’t like how it was missing one of the best characters: Randy.

Randy

So this one is a complete throw out of left field, as it is the third film. This time we have the secret backstory that changes all that was ever given to us in the first two.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

In fact Wes Craven actually filmed three different endings and didn’t tell the cast which one he was going to use. It was one big surprise.

Scream 3 takes place three years after Scream 2. If you recall from Scream 2, Cotton Weary is exonerated and Sidney agreed to do that interview with him. Well, that really helped as now Cotton hosts his own nationally syndicated talk show, called 100% Cotton.

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-it

That’s really the name they went with? I know its catchy, but it sounds more like an underwear commercial than a real show.

felix_the_cat_laughing

Anyways, back to the plot. He gets a phone call that starts out benign, but then quickly turns deadly.

Look at that smile!

Cotton Weary: Who’s this?

Female Caller: Who’s this?

Cotton Weary: Who are you calling?

Female Caller: Oh, you know what, I’ve got the wrong number.

Cotton Weary: That’s okay.

Female Caller: Wait, your voice. You sound a lot like that guy on TV, uh, Cotton Weary.

Cotton Weary: I do huh?

Female Caller: Yeah, I think he’s got a really sexy voice.

Cotton Weary: [laughs] Okay, well, thank you.

Female Caller: Wait a minute. You are Cotton, aren’t you? Oh my God, I am talking to Cotton Weary.

Cotton Weary: [laugh] You caught me. Listen can you hold on for a minute? I got someone on the other line.

Female Caller: Yeah…

Cotton Weary: Hold on.

Cotton Weary: [switches to car phone] Andrea, I got someone on the other line. I’ll have to call you back [switches back to cell phone] So… you a 100% Cotton fan?

Female Caller: Yeah, 110%.

Cotton Weary: [chuckle] That’s very good. So, uh… Why don’t you tell me your name?

Female Caller: Ooh, you’re a naughty boy, Cotton. Now, what would your girlfriend think?

Cotton Weary: What makes you think I have a girlfriend?

Phone Voice: [click] I know you do. I’m right outside her bathroom door. She’s in the shower. She’s got a nice little… voice. Let’s go in for a closer look. Ooh, she’s very, very pretty, Cotton. A step up from Maureen Prescott. Speaking of which, let’s play a game. Answer right, your girlfriend lives, answer wrong she dies. Where’s Maureen’s daughter, Sidney?

Cotton Weary: Who the f*** is this?

Phone Voice: Someone who would kill to know where Sidney Prescott is. You’ve got connections. One chance, Cotton. Where is she?

Cotton Weary: Listen to me, you son of a b****, if you touch Christine, I’ll f****** kill you.

Phone Voice: Wrong answer! [click; dead line]

LOL Cotton and Cotton

LOL Cotton and Cotton 100% Cotton

Cotton rushes home to try and reach his girlfriend.

Now Christine the girlfriend is pretty stupid. She doesn’t lock her bathroom when she takes a shower? Who does that? Everyone does!

Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you're chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?

Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you’re chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?

Pretty much she gets killed, Psycho-style.

Psycho-Shower

Making her

Victim #1

Victim #1

Ghostface attacks!

Ghostface attacks!

Cotton is soon to follow.

Victim #2

Victim #2

Now that begs the question, where is Sidney? What happened to her?

Suspense have to know

So Sidney had a major breakdown and faced a lot of changes since the last film. Let’s review. She had a killer target her again. She thought it might be her boyfriend. She watched her best friend die. She watched her boyfriend die. Someone who she thought was her friend, turned out to be a “sleeper agent” and tried to murder her. She almost died.

ouch Hermione

Yeah…that’s a lot to deal with a lot.

I don't know what to do

In fact, so much to deal with that Sidney has moved very, very far away to a secluded spot and only a handful have an idea of where she is. What she does for a living is work with a suicide prevention hotline. She gets one call a day. Today’s call isn’t the usual…its THE caller.

When-a-Stranger-Calls-s01

When a Stranger Calls

She hears about what happened to Cotton and realizes, it’s happening again.

scream 2 start again

Currently in Hollywood they are creating another Stab film, Stab 3, based on the true events of Scream 2. Cotton was one of the producers, so the cops have been checking it out. One cop is Mark Kincaid, played by Patrick Dempsey. In fact just like Mark Wahlberg in The Lovely Bones, Dempsey was hired the night before and had to figure the character out without any real ideas of the script. Anyways, Kincaid has been using Gale Weathers for background info as they found a photo of Sidney’s mother Maureen at the crime scene. Gale journeys out to Hollywood and when she gets there she discovers Dewey is there. Yep, the two broke up as Dewey didn’t like how she treats people. He is working as a consultant for the film, and dating the actress playing Gale Weathers that looks just like her, Jennifer Jolie.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

 Meanwhile on the set of Stab 3, one of the blond bimbos enters an office looking for someone and gets murdered.

Victim #3

Victim #3

Yep, this killer wastes very little time as later at Jennifer Jolie’s house her bodyguard gets a phone call and is murdered by ghostface.

Victim #4

Victim #4

The bodies are just dropping like flies. I wasn’t going to post this, but I feel like I can’t go any farther as this song is running through my brain nonstop.

To add to the intensity of this particular Ghostface is that he then blows up Jennifer Jolie’s house

OMG

The killer tries to attack Gale, but Dewey saves her by shooting at him.

Meanwhile, Sidney’s back. The attacks and calls encouraged her to come back and help find the killer. She and Mark clash at first a bit.

Sidney: What do you know about trilogies?

Mark: You mean like movie trilogies?

Sidney: You seem to like movies, Detective.

Mark: Call me “Mark”, will you? ‘Cause I’m gonna keep calling you Sidney.

Sidney: I’ll call you “Mark” when you catch the killer, Detective.

Mark: Well, all I know about trilogies is that in the third one, all bets are off.

Sidney: Did you request this case?

Mark: No. They tend to put me on the ones that deal with the business. I grew up here and I know my way around the studios.

Sidney: Must be exciting. Beautiful place, beautiful people.

Mark: To me, Hollywood is about death.

Sidney: Excuse me?

Mark: I’m a homicide cop. When you see what I see day in and day out, the violence that people do to each other, you get haunted. I think you know about that.

Sidney: What do you mean?

Mark: I know what it’s like to see ghosts that don’t go away, to be watching a scary movie in your head, whether you want to or not, watching it alone.

Sidney: Ghosts are tough. You can’t shoot ghosts.

Mark: Can’t arrest ghosts. But the trick to keep from getting haunted is to be with people. You’re here, you’re not in hiding. You’ve done the right thing… Miss Prescott. What did you know about your Mother?

Sidney: I always thought I had the perfect Mom, the perfect family until I found out I was wrong. She had a secret life and I tried to understand that. And… soon as I thought… then I had more secrets. I don’t know who my Mom was.

Mark: You knew who she was to you. Here’s the deal: I’m off to search the set. I think that what you saw is real. That’s the good news.

Sidney: How’s that good news?

Mark: Because it means that we are dealing with a flesh and blood killer, and I know how to handle guys like that.

Sidney: Oh, yeah. How?

Mark: Catch him or kill him.

Sidney: Hey, Detective? What’s your favorite scary movie?

Mark: My life.

Sidney: Mine, too.”

And that brings up a very interesting concept. What are the rules for a trilogy? How should we do this? Last time we had Randy to lead us, but now what are we going to do? Poor Randy! Best character ever! Oh, Randy! Randy nooooooooo!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

So what Craven decided to do is to bring Randy into the film via video recording.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

That’s how you gonna do it? That’s it? That’s really it?

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

 

The original idea was to have Randy survive the stabbing in Scream 2, his family having rescued him secretly. This was ultimately deemed to be too far-fetched so Randy was resurrected via a post-mortem video appearance instead. They knew they had to bring him back as the fans loved him. In fact Wes Craven got a ton of hate mail for killing off Randy, and thought this would appease the fans. Yeah you dunderheads, you made a big mistake.

big mistake

Well you know what would have been an even better idea? NOT KILLING HIM!!!!!!!!

Mhm great gatsby

So here we go. Rules for a trilogy.

So Gale is eager to do some investigative reporting and finds herself being followed by Jennifer Jolie. Jolie wants to really “get into” her role. Great for Jolie, bad for Gale.

Ugh

Ugh

I’m sure she would rather be punched in the face by Sidney.

Scream-Punch

So they go down to the archives and we have the funniest scene in the whole film.

Sidney also gets attacked by the killer.

Scream

She gets away and goes down to police headquarters to make a statement. At this point in time Sidney discovers that Mark Kincaid has a lot of newspaper clips and info on her. It creeps her out and makes her wonder whether or not he is the killer.

Scream 2 Doubts

But it turns out her story and survival had intrigued him and he fell for her. Just like Det. Lt. Mark McPherson in Laura (1944). Which causes this earlier statement to make a lot more sense.

“Mark: I’m gonna talk to the studio guys about those photos.

Detective Wallace: Yeah right, I know where you’re going.

Mark: Yeah keep an eye on Sidney.

Detective Wallace: I know where you’re going, you’re gonna get her some flowers and candy, right? Huh?

Mark: Gimme a break!”

You're_in_love_with_her

The main producer of the film, John Milton, invites everyone over for a cast party at his house. Unfortunately, they have been dragged to that house for one reason alone, the killer is going to kill them all!

dun-dun-duuuun

Time to prepare yourself.

Sidney in the parlor with a candlestick

Sidney in the parlor with a candlestick

Now this is where the bodies really start hitting the floor.

Dewey and Gale discover the film’s director, Roman, stuffed in a chest.

Victim #5

Victim #5

Angeline, an actress, runs off and is murdered.

Victim #6

Victim #6

Then Tyson (another actor)

Victim #7

Victim #7

And Jennifer

Victim #8

Victim #8

The killer then attacks Gale and Dewey, knocking them out and tying them up. In a surprising twist, Ghostface doesn’t murder them but uses them to bait Sidney to the house.

Sidney shoots him, but he ends up escaping. Kincaid comes in to save the day, but gets knocked out by the killer. The killer then chases Sidney and reveals himself to be Roman.

Say What

Yep he had faked his own death. Now you may be wondering why would a famous film director want to murder Sidney Prescott? Well it turns out that he is Maureen’s illegitimate son.

dun-dun-duuuun

This is actually radically different than any of the other Scream films. All the others have two killers; Scream-Billy & Stu, Scream 2-Mrs. Loomis & Mickey, Scream 4 had two but I won’t reveal until next week. Now the reason that this film had only one was that it was supposed to be the last film. That is until Wes got greedy and made the atrocity Scream 4 which I will review next week.

So know not only do we have the villain monologue, but the big reveal.

Phone Voice: You’re not going anywhere Sidney. It’s time you came to terms with me, and with mother. Maybe you never knew her at all Sidney… maybe you just can’t get past the surface of things.

Sidney: Who the hell are you?

Phone Voice: The other half of you. I searched for a mother too, an actress named “Reena Reynolds” tried to find her my whole LIFE, and four years ago I actually tracked her down. Knocked at her door thinking she’d welcome me with open arms, but she had a new life and a new name, Maureen Prescott! You were the only child she claimed Sidney. She shut me out into the cold forever! Her own son [takes off mask to reveal he is Roman Bridger] Roman Bridger, director, and brother. She slammed the door in my face, Sid. She said I was “Reena’s” child and Reena was dead… and then it struck me. What a good idea, so I watched her. I made a little movie, a little family film. Seems Maureen…”Mom”… she really got around. I mean Cotton was one thing; everybody knew about that. But Billy’s father – that was the key. Your boyfriend didn’t like seeing his daddy in my film too much. He didn’t like it at all. And once I supplied the motivation… all the kid needed was a few pointers. Have a partner to sell out incase you got caught, find someone to frame, it was like he was making a movie.

Sidney: You… this is all because of you.

Roman: I’m a director Sid, I direct.

Sidney: Ah.

Roman: I had no idea, that they were gonna make a film of their own. I mean intoducing Sidney the victim, Sidney the survivor, SIDNEY THE STAR!

He also reveals that John the producer raped Maureen, and Roman was their child. He kills John for revenge, bringing the body count to

Victim #8

Victim #8

Sidney is just tired of this.

boohoo_zps058c9fe1

Tired of hearing another killer blaming the circumstances of their life on her. Sidney berates Roman who gets angered enough to attack her leading to a fight. Roman manages to gain the upper hand but a distraction by Kincaid allows Sidney to grab his knife. He takes Kincaid’s gun and shoots her.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

However, it turns out that she is wearing a bulletproof vest. She uses the knife and stabs him several times in the back and heart. Dewey takes his gun and shoots him several times, making sure he gets in a headshot.

Gale-Randy-Billy-and-Sidney-scream-23148646-499-198

The four-Gale, Dewey, Kincaid, and Sidney head out to her secluded mountain home. There Dewey proposes to Gale, by carving out her book and placing the ring inside. Now I know this is “romantic”, but to me it sounds horrible. You just destroyed a book!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Sidney also starts a relationship with Kincaid, and it ends on a happy note. At last it is all over.

hereIgoagainWhitesnake

That is until this horrible thing comes up:

Scream-4-Intl-3

Well that was Scream 3. Tune in next week for the final chapter.

2000Scream-3

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to Tuesday the 17th

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For more on the Scream Franchise, check out It’s Happening Again, Isn’t It?

For more trilogies, go to Life Finds a Way

For more on serial killers, go to You Think You Know Something, Don’t You?

For more horror parodies, go to A Deliciously Creepy Tale

For more on slasher films, go to Hello? Is There a Killer in My Kitchen?

For more on Patrick Dempsey, go to I Don’t Dance or Sing, Except When I’m With You

For more on Wes Craven, go to What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?

For more on Whitesnake, go to Here I Go Again

For more of my fav songs, go to Rock You Like a Hurricane