I saw this movie at the library and had to check it out as it has David Boreanaz, you know Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and FBI Agent Booth from Bones.
So the movie starts off with Lucy picking up her friend-who has just been horribly dumped and hates all men-to take her somewhere. Lucy knows what that is like as that was her a year ago-but today she is getting married.
Yes, this is one of the weirdest openings. How come she didn’t tell her friend before? Anyways, Lucy felt the same but then she was set up on five dates:
Date #1: Doug the Entomologist (John Hannah) who Lucy sees right after she is dumped and she is horribly drunk on the date, but they do have some meaningful conversations throughout.
Date #2: Gabriel (Gael García Bernal) is Spanish and a passionate playwright, who Lucy sleeps with right away.
Date #3: Bobby (Anthony LaPaglia) a former baseball player who is incredibly narcissistic, but after they spend time together she realizes there is more to him.
Date #4: Barry (Henry Thomas) a computer salesman who’s date occurs right after Lucy has had a horrible time getting her fridge delivered, is in the middle of an awful allergy attack and can’t find her medicine in any pharmacy-and to make it worse the date gets hijacked by her parents as they convince the two to join them for dinner.
Date #5: Luke (David Boreanaz) is a doctor, who is extremely hot-but their date gets shanghaied when a colleague of Luke’s invites them to join them and his daughter goes after Luke.
Lucy goes on all these dates and eventually narrows it down to two men. But which one will win her heart?
Most Romantic Moment: I Will Get You What You Need
So I know you’ve probably been on bad dates-and have seen a lot in comedy films and TV shows, but I think this movie takes the cake. This date starts off incredibly bad with Lucy angry about the fridge not being delivered and starts yelling at Barry-who yells back when she gets really rude.
Then they go to multiple stores as Lucy needs a certain allergy medication, but can’t find it. Whenever Barry suggests another medication, she turns it down as it isn’t the right one. Both are extremely angry and annoyed. After the two have a bit of a blowout, they decide to start over as this date is going nowhere near like how either thought.
Barry: Okay. Let’s start this thing over.
Lucy: Fine. Hi Barry, its nice to meet you. I don’t have a refrigerator.
Then they run into Lucy’s parents who guilt them into coming with them-in which they serve them good food for dinner but they completely embarrass Lucy.
But the two have a lot of fun. And Barry comes to see Lucy the next day with the allergy medication she needed. He went to 10 different pharmacies, 10 different ones to find it for her.
I don’t know about you all but I know very few people who would do that-that’s true love there.
So this isn’t part of our 30 Day challenge. I just felt I needed to post it as I wanted to review the sequel for the 30 Day challenge and I couldn’t do the second without the first! After this we will continue the 30 Day challenge.
Austenland (Austenland #1) by Shannon Hale
I first read this book back in high school, I was a freshman or sophomore at the time. I really loved the premise of the book and most of the characters and thought the story was fantastic. I only had one issue, and that was with the main character Jane. I hadn’t really been in a relationship before I read this and I thought the main character was a bit…bonkers. She seemed to throw herself into “relationships” without them even dating, like Gigi in He’s Just NOT That Into You.
I then went on to read the sequel as soon as it was printed, Midnight in Austenland, and just fell in love with it. I thought it was amazing!
Then the film trailer came out for Austenland and it looked like it was to be mostly this first book, but have a few traits of the sequel that I loved. I was so excited.
I tracked that film and when the release dates were changed, waited. And waited. And then when it wasn’t released in any theater near me, I waited some more for it to come out on DVD.
I rented it as soon as it was out, watched it, and adored it from beginning to end!I thought it was sooo much better than the book.
But then I began thinking…what if the book wasn’t as bad as I had thought it was? Maybe as an adult my perspective would change then when I was a teenager? It has been almost ten years (time flies!) since I last read it and decided it would be the perfect time to reread and review it (especially as I want to review the sequel but can’t until I review this one!)
Jane Hayes is obsessed with Jane Austen.
She reads all of Austen’s books and watches the 1995 miniseries again and again.
But unlike most fangirls, Jane is ashamed of her love. I don’t know why, I embrace mine.
It goes for the rest of her work as well.
Anyways…Jane’s mom comes to visit with her great aunt Carolyn. Carolyn is super rich and her mother is trying to get her into the will. She hides her Austen items and DVD disc, (I proudly display mine), but Carolyn finds it.
Carolyn waits until Jane’s mother goes to the restroom and warns her about Darcy, letting him in and taking over.
Hey, I don’t see anything wrong for striving for a guy like that or any other Austen man. I don’t want to settle. I want someone special.
Six months later, Aunt Carolyn dies and leaves something for Jane. She gets all excited dreaming about what she could buy or do with the money:
But it turns out she is not rich.
Instead she gets a three week paid vacation to go to Pembrook Park in England. There she is in a Regency Westworld(except no killer robots), dressing, talking, and acting as it it is 1816. There is no scripts or written endings, but there is a ball and you might meet your dream man there.
Now they make it seem as if wanting to be with an equivalent of Darcy is a bad thing and that that love is to blame for her bad relationships but that’s not true she is crazy when it comes to relationships. She thinks every guy she has ever been with is her “boyfriend”, even when they haven’t even dated! Even when she just talks to them or thinks about dating them.
She goes to the Park reading about all the rules they have to follow in that time period. In fact there are a lot of rules with the park as to what they can and cannot do.
She meets Mrs. Wattlesbrook who introduces her to what she will wear and introductory rules. She is now to go by the name Jane Erstwhile, instead of Hayes, and although they were supposed to change their ages and create this fake cover story; Jane wants to be real.
So Jane finds out that she isn’t the usual type of client. Most of the time, like in Westworld, they have a ton of money. Unfortunately, Jane is not rich so she will not be treated special like the other two guests: Miss Elizabeth Charming and Miss Amelia Heartwright.
Jane has to get rid of all her modern items, although she secretly holds back her cell phone, and dress only in Regency wear.
She meets Theodore, the undergardener, who helps her learn the dances she’ll need to know for the ball.
Jane is ready and determined that this vacation is going to be great and she will conquer.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #1 Alex Ripley, 4 yrs
She was four years old, he kissed her, and he moved to Minnesota that summer, never to be seen again.
The next day is day one of Jane’s trip to Pembrook Park. She meets her “aunt” Saffronia and “uncle” Sir John Templeton who she will be staying with during her time there.
She meets Miss Elizabeth Charming who is a very wealthy, buxom, and “twenty-two” (fifty). She is extremely wealthy, recently divorced, and looking for a book happily ever after ending.
The two then meet the men, the reason they are here. The first is the fair-haired, roguish, open man Colonel Andrews.
And then we have Mr. Nobley: tall, dark, and brooding.
You know how I like them!
And Jane likes what she sees.
Sir Templeton is pretty much just drunk all the time and not interesting. Colonel Andrews is a lot of fun, and Nobley? Well…
Elizabeth Charming really wants one of the men and throws herself at both of them, making for some fun and interesting adventures.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #1 Justin Kimble, 12 yrs
They started “going out” in 4th grade when they shared Pixy Stix, scored each other as 1os, and gave each other Valentines. But then he chose another girl for the folk dance and it was over.
So this is a big part of my problem with Jane (Hayes). Those aren’t real relationships, she shouldn’t count them. She was just a child!
The next day she goes out for a walk and runs into Theodore. Even though they aren’t supposed to talk, as he is a servant, they do anyway. Theodore hates the Regency story and gives up on it, revealing his name is really Martin Jasper. Even though it is against the rules, Jane actually starts to like it. It is a secret, “bad”, and Martin is a nice connection to the real world.
Jane starts to feel strange about this whole “fake Regency” thing, as if she can’t do it. Mr. Nobley and the Colonel see her grow pale and Nobley urges the Colonel to get her some water. There Jane and Nobley have a private conversation, where Jane tries to figure out how Mr. Nobley can pretend like this. Mr Nobley misunderstands her and becomes upset. He tells her that she can’t play games and try to trap him.
Later while the men are out doing their manly things, the women wait for Amelia Heartwright to call. They hope she won’t be attractive as it seems there isn’t enough men for everyone. She comes in, and you know how we girls are.
Unfortunately, she is absolutely beautiful; but along with that she is very kind and hard to dislike. But Jane’s earlier dismay proves to be true as Mr. Nobley and Miss Heartwright appear to have had a history. With those two paired and the Colonel for Miss Charming; Jane is left alone with no one.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #2 Rudy Liev, 15 yrs
Rudy was hilarious and always cracking jokes, ones that were extremely harmful and unfunny. After four months of dating he told everyone when Jane kisses, she licks like a cat. He continued to make fun of her, the moniker “tiger tongue” staying with her even at her ten-year reunion.
After they break up, she reads Pride & Prejudice for the first time.
Miss Charming won’t let herself be dominated or destroyed, and immediately snags both gentlemen for Whist after dinner. Miss Amelia makes up the fourth, leaving Jane out in the cold again.
Which unfortunately sets her in Sir John’s drunken sights. He passes out, and tired of overhearing the lively conversation from the whist table, Jane decides to go out for a walk, major Austenland and Regency no no.
Jane hears a TV and goes to it, being Martin’s trailer. She overhears the Knick game and is invited inside. Things ensue, and before you know it they are making out. Jane leaves after their session and heads back to sneak into the house.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #3 Dave Atters, 16 yrs
Star of the high school basketball team and Jane was extremely infatuated with him. One night he tried to put his hand up her skirt, she refused, he dumped her.
Instead of blaming Dave she blamed Mr. Darcy for her high expectations of men.
Dave was a jerk. High expectations have nothing her other than you fell for a guy who thought he was the best and didn’t want to take no for an answer.
You should have high expectations. You shouldn’t have been dating a jerk like him. Any guy who won’t respect you isn’t worth it.
Every night she goes to see Martin and they make out, eat junk food, etc. She is bored with Regency things as she can’t stand to do any more of them.
Uh, embroidery is not boring or easy. It is hard work and fun. I”ll have to post some of the things I’ve done.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #4 Ray Riboldi, 17 yrs
Ray was nice, and Jane decided after the last two boyfriends she wanted a nice guy. After a few months, two guys who’d been longtime friends played a prank involving Ray’s jeep and dog poop, telling him to stay away from pretty girls. He then retaliated to Jane believing she was the one to put them up to it.
Jane has horrible taste in me, but she can’t blame Austen for it. The men she are picking are the problem. Maybe you should befriend and get to know them instead of going into “dating” them.
She gets bored of relaxing during the day, which I don’t get. Two weeks in England, relaxing? Sounds good to me.
Let’s go now!
She runs to see Martin, but he ends that, being offended that she is “one of those women” interested in Austen stuff and that she was with the other two men this morning. He’s a total jerk and Jane is upset as she came all this way, just for more disappointment.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #5 Rahim, 35 or 40 yrs
She meet him while working the perfume counter at age 19. He dates her for three weeks taking her to expensive restaurants, buying her gift; Jane almost fulfilling a cliché of being a “shopgirl”. I say almost because when he took her to her apartment and tried to sleep with her, she laughs and it ends.
Jane is depressed. She has no one, made a fool of herself going after Martin, and is still the fifth wheel. That night she turns down a game of whist and heads outside to walk again.
Mr. Nobley surprises her, having come to check on her. He warns her about Martin, his protectiveness getting her all upset. Later she comes back in the house and sees the book Mr. Nobley always reads with a pay stub made out to a Henry Jenkins. Hmm? Could that be his real name?
As she starts for her room, she comes upon a drunk Sir John who hits on her.
He tries to get with her, but she knees him in the groin and stops him.
Mr. Nobley comes upon them, and lends a hand. Here he shows his other side, no longer brooding and distant, but actually charming funny, and dare I say…a delight.
Jane is thoroughly disappointed in all that happened and decides no more nice-Jane. She is going to rock Austenland and be the best Regency lady ever.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #6 Josh Lake, 20 yrs
Met at a college carnival fundraiser when two groups of friends merged together. They get stuck in a ride and the fear and adrenaline make them start a relationship, but after three months they both know there is no pop to the relationship and break up.
Not Austen’s fault but Jane’s for letting the situation’s emotions create a false relationship and love. Like in Bones when Booth and Hannah get together.
The next morning, Jane pulls out her smuggled cell phone and emails a friend for info on Martin Jasper and Henry Jenkins, hoping to unearth the real person under the mask.
That morning the men are out of town, which upsets Miss Charming. She didn’t dole out the big bucks to be ignored or play second fiddle to Miss Heartwright.. She goes to speak to Mrs. Wattlesbrook and straighten out what her vision of Austenland is.
Jane, bored, goes to visit Miss Heartwright. She doesn’t really want to, but as this is something Emma would do, she’s in the game.
When the two ladies return to the park, they have an unexpected visitor! Miss Heartright’s jilted lover has returned, a Mr. George East who has recently become Captain. Miss Heartwright takes off, and Jane rings for a maid to show Captain East to his room.
Hmm…so now we have three ladies and three men. But who goes with who? And will Jane get the dream proposal promised?
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #6.5 Paul Diaz, 20
She meet him in a watercolor class, sort of talked believing they clicked, but when she asked him out; he didn’t even know who she was.
At dinner Jane flirts as widely as she can, staying in Regency fashion. She throws Mr. Nobley out as it seems Miss Charming and Miss Heartwright care for him. Instead she tries to kill the Captain and the Colonel with her charm.
That night Jane, the Captain, and Colonel stay out of cards and tease Mr. Nobley. The teasing goes a little too far with Jane giving a short rant on the men of the day:
And Mr. Nobley has a longer rant about women. Clearly he has some wounds.
They then dance with East taking Heartwright and the Colonel paired with Miss Charming. Jane is left all alone until Mr. Nobley steps up and asks her for a dance.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND 7 Juan Inskeep, 25 yrs
The next morning the men are out “shooting”, Miss Charming is upset and heads out to see Miss Heartwright, so Jane goes upstairs to check her email. Nothing on Martin Jasper but she hit the motherlode on Henry Jenkins. He studied theater and history at Cambridge, and four years ago was in a crazy divorce. He was very calm but recounted how when his wife cheated on him with a neighbor, he forgave her; when she sold his car to pay for a wild weekend in Monaco, he forgave her; but when she shish-kabobed his fish because he said he wanted kids: that’s when he decided the relationship needed to end. Sounds like a modern-day Mr. Rochester with a crazy, cruel wife.
She is crazy!
Later in the library, she overhears the Colonel’s proposal to Miss Charming. One man down and two left to go. The game is on!
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #8 Bobby Winkle, 23 yrs
They started as friends and moved on to dating. The relationship lasted six months and then he left for an internship Guatemala. He returned six months later and never called.
The next day they play croquet. Andrews and Miss Charming, Nobley and Miss Heartwright, & Jane and Captain East. Jane doesn’t mind being with Captain East as he is not only attractive but as bad at croquet as she is.
However, she notices that Mr. Nobley keeps staring and watching her. And even more she realizes that she cares what Mr. Nobley thinks about her.
The game is interrupted when Mrs. Wattlesbrook drives up. They found Jane’s cellphone and she is to be kicked out of Austenland.
She goes to get in the carriage upset that the men didn’t stand up for her. Before she gets in, they are interrupted by Miss Heartwright. She claims that it is her phone, she accidentally brought it, and that Jane was holding it for her. Because Miss Heartwright is so wealthy, they let her pass.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #9 Kevin Hyde, 27 yrs
She loved him. They dated for almost two years, Jane even went wedding dress shopping, but one day he told her he wanted to end it. He said it was too hard and that he wasn’t having fun.
The next day Miss Heartwright and Mr. Nobley are going horseback riding. They invite Jane, who determined not to be a third wheel, invites Mr. East. As they ride she tries to have intimate time to flirt, but Mr. Nobley keeps messing things up when he separates them. He eventually makes up Jane looking poorly, and sends the other two on ahead.
Jane is angry with Nobley for messing things up, but then he relays that Miss Hearwright asked him to intervene and give them a few minutes alone to talk about their past.
She and Nobley start talking and he manages to trick her into revealing something personal, her love of painting and her old dream. They are interrupted by East, but later that evening she finds a package for her. When she opens it, it is oil paints, an easel, and canvas.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #10 Peter Sosa, 29 yrs
She met Peter in the work elevator. They dated for five weeks and he was perfect. She started to dream only to have that crash down when he revealed that he was already dating someone. His girlfriend bet him he couldn’t make the next girl fall in love with him, and the little game went too far.
The next day is rainy and Jane spends the morning painting. She’d rather not tear herself away, but does as she knows she needs human contact after all that time alone.
She goes to the library to read and is met by Mr. Nobley. He reads the book to her, but it is too boring they cannot continue.
The Colonel wants to do a play, but they would need Mr. Nobley and he refuses. However, after Martin approaches and tries to re-romance Jane, Mr. Nobley tries to warn Jane against him once again. Jane finds herself falling for him, and promises to stay away from Martin if Mr. Nobley performs in the play.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #11 Clark Barnyard, 23 yrs
He was a younger man and someone she worked with. They joked and flirted for months when he asked her out finally. They start kissing when he tries to get her clothes off. She had to tell him no four times before he stopped, confused as to why they weren’t going to have sex.
This wasn’t even a real boyfriend! They went on one date! Jane is a tad delusional.
Mr. Nobley continues to look and watch Jane. They run off together to practice their parts, and actually break a few Regency rules with proximity.
Jane feels secure in having Mr. Nobley at her ending. But as they talk she remembers the ball is in two days and the vacation ends in three. It will all be over soon. 😦
They come upon a tender moment of Captain East and Miss Heartwright. While they talk about love and whether it can be done under fiction; Mr. Nobley reveals he had a “friend” who was heartbroken but if you asked him now, “he” might be opening his heart again to another.
Is it a “friend” or him?
They perform two hours later, badly, but something happens with Mr. Nobley. They way he looks at her, kissed her cheek…it seems more than just a part. But that’s silly it can’t be…real?
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #12 Tad Harrison, 35 yrs
They were engaged after a year, adopted a dog, and picked out baby names. But he wouldn’t set a date. A year later, they take a break and Tad starts sleeping around. He kept the dog.
The next day, Jane paints all morning. After spending the whole morning alone, she goes out looking for the men. There are only two days left!
She sees the Colonel talking to someone out of sight and overhears that the Colonel has to get back to work, only to see it is her! Disgusted Jane goes back to her room and starts painting again.
Later that evening, Mr. Nobley takes her aside and asks her about her painting. They spend a long time as Jane shares her feelings of painting, the things she has been doing; just going on and on. Mr. Nobley smiles through the whole thing and asks to see her paintings.
He compliments her work and then leaves. But then returns to ask her to reserve the first two dances for him.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #12.5 Jake Zeiger, 30ish yrs
Her neighbor that she saw every time she gets her mail. She tries to ask him out, but he turns her down as he never saw her as anything but neighbor.
This was not her boyfriend either! Just in her head!
The ball comes and Jane is dressed elegantly. She is approached by Martin, dressed up as an extra, who tries to get the first two dances, but Nobley interferes, whirling her away.
Eventually they break way from the group and Mr. Nobley asks for her hand in marriage. Jane is upset at the faux love and walks away, deciding Mr. Darcy is not for her but she needs a “real man.”
She runs off to find Martin, as he is “real”.
They make plans to meet up the next day and for Jane to rearrange her schedule and get a few extra days in England.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #13 Jimmy Rimer, 38 yrs
They walked the same path every day in central park for five months. Then Jimmy snorted when laughing, and Jane avoided him.
The next day she says good-bye to Miss Charming and she and Miss Heartwright head out. It turns out Miss Heartwright is not British as they thought. She is a rich wife who comes out annually to have some fun. She shares that it was Mr. Nobley’s idea to save Jane from being thrown out, asking her to pretend it was her phone.
After Jane dresses in her old clothes returning her Regency wear, Mrs. Wattlesbrook lets her know that Martin is an actor. He was picked for her but had to be taken out if circulation when thinks got too heated.
Jane is so angry at them making a fool of her, picking a gardner as her match instead of any gentleman because she’s poor and not an “ideal” client.
Jane lies about her magazine, pretending she is a staff writer, threatening Mrs. Wattlesbrook and having a ton of fun making her sweat.
FLASHBACK: BOYFRIEND #14 Martin of Sheffield, 29 yrs
An actor posing as a gardener, who posed as a gentleman on the Austenland estate.
Jane heads to the airport: angry, sad, and feeling foolish. As she is thinking to herself, she hears in the airport:
Paging Miss Jane Erstwhile
Is it Mr. Nobley?! Did he comes after her?
No. It is Martin.
He was sent by Mrs. Wattlesbrook to mend things. He tries a few lines, but Jane sees right through them all.
But then the most surprising thing happens. A man dressed in Regency wear approaches! It is Mr. Nobley.
He tell her that he loves her! He got caught up in the role and gave her the same old proposal he always does, the Darcy proposal. But he truly does love her. Being with her was different than being with anyone else.
Martin and him fight, calling each other names; but Jane is just done with it all. She boards her plane saying good-bye.
On the plane, she is surprised to see that Mr. Nobley has bought a ticket and will be joining her on her flight. She questions why Mrs. Wattlesbrook would go that far, but he tells her she didn’t send him. He came on his own, he Henry Jenkins. In fact, Mrs. Wattlesbrook never sent him to go after Jane, not at the park and not now.
He knows she has no money, he never heard the article rumor, and bought the ticket even though he is deeply afraid of flying to prove his love. He tells her that if it is too much he can wait, if they just start out slow and then see where it takes them.
But then he says he lied.
Ah snap, knew it. It was too perfect.
He tells her that he doesn’t want a fling. For him it is all or nothing and he is throwing himself at her feet.
And then this part, this is the best:
“But wait, stop, it’s not supposed to end this way! You’re the fantasy, you’re what I’m leaving behind. I can’t pack you up and take you with me.’
‘That was the most self-centered thing I’ve ever heard you say.’
Jane blinked. ‘It was?’
‘Miss Hayes, have you stopped to consider that you might hav this all backward? That in fact you are my fantasy?”
Present: Boyfriend #15 Henry
Jane is taking this relationship one day at a time and no longer seems to be ashamed of her Pride and Prejudice love.
In the end Jane does the one thing everyone dreams of, she gets a “real” Mr. Darcy.
So I liked the novel, the only issue I really had was Jane’s feeling ashamed at being an Austen fan. I just don’t get it and it made her less likeable. I also didn’t like how she complained about her vacation or blamed her horrible choices in men on Austen. Those things were corrected in the sequel and film which is why I liked them better.
But the end was just perfect. It was incredibly romantic and just the type of thing we dream of. Hale sure knows how to write
But while Horrorfest is over for now, you can never truly kill it. It always comes back. Specifically next October with Horrorfest VI.
It never ceases to amaze me how every October I plan out 26 film reviews, 4 TV reviews, and one post on my personal thoughts; yet what I start off with never matches up with the end result.
So let’s go over what this Horrorfest V was all about.
So I started planning my Horrorfest with lots of ’40s films, but it ended up being all about the ’80s. What can I say? You know I love it.
I LOVE the ’80s
We had Ghostbusters, Thriller, Cat’s Eye, Once Bitten, Teen Wolf, and Clue
And you all remember how I said I wanted to do something different this year? Well I did. This was the most I have ever reviewed Horror-Comedies.
It is horrorfying and funny at the same time!
We had Ghostbusters, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, Once Bitten, Clue, and Teen Wolf.
My free post, on whatever horror thing I wished to write about, was 31 tips on How to Survive a Horror Film. I got the idea last year, but couldn’t put it into play until this year. I hope it was helpful. 🙂
So Alfred Hitchcock,
we only covered one of his films, and it was one of the oldest ones he created. I strayed from what had become a tradition of three as I felt I didn’t want to use his works too quickly. Which film will I review next year? I’m not sure. I was toying with maybe doing one of his last films like Frenzy or Family Plot. Then again, The Birds have been on my list from the beginning and I still haven’t reviewed it. I guess we will see what happens next year.
So we reviewed a TV episode every Friday in October. This year we had a serial killer Wallace & Gromit episode, a cannibalistic killer in Bones, a murderer in Death Comes to Pemberley, and a teenage boy with incredible powers in Star Trek.
We also had our Turtle Saturdays
Starting with the 2014 version, to 2007, and then going over the original 1990 version and its sequel in 1991. It might not be what most consider horror, but I think it works as each film involves mutation, two have monsters, and one a whole lot of scientific experiments.
So we saw a group of monsters I haven’t really spent a whole lot of posts reviewing, and that is:
We started with the Corpse Bride; then went on to the first zombie film, White Zombie; and ended on Michael Jackson’s Thriller. I had thought about doing Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, but as I haven’t reviewed the book I decided to wait on the film.
Then we had our usual Stephen King film, with Cat’s Eye. Not one I’d planned on reviewing, but happened to see and add to the lineup.
I finally got around to taking on a Tim Burton film, and actually reviewed two, not one. We had the Corpse Bride and Sleepy Hollow. Still haven’t done Edward Scissorhands. Maybe next year.
We also did a lot of teen monster films. There was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with teen turtles; Thriller with teen zombies; Once Bitten with teen vampires; and a teen werewolf in Teen Wolf.
We also had vampires and Dracula coming back with Once Bitten, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, and Dracula 2000.
This Horrorfest was very different than the ones prior as I reviewed a lot of films and TV shows I had never seen before such as: Wallace & Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death, When a Stranger Calls (1979), Jeepers Creepers, Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter, Cat’s Eye, Death Comes to Pemberley, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, Backfire, Dial 1119, Let Me Call You Sweetheart, Corpse Bride, The Cheerleader Murders, & The Girl on the Train; along with films and TV shows I hadn’t seen in years, such as: Fantasia: Night on Bald Mountain and Sleepy Hollow. That was about half the reviews!
This also was the first time I could really include Jane Austen in my Horrorfest, not with a made up post but actually review an Austen item.
I was planning on reviewing Pride & Prejudice & Zombies along with Death Comes to Pemberley, but as I said before, I decided to push it back.
And then there is Vincent Price
I reviewed two films with him: Thriller and the film I have been talking about reviewing since the first Horrorfest, House on Haunted Hill.
So if you missed a day, or are interested in every item I covered; here is the complete list:
“They say a spirit [the Butcher of Burtonsville High] lives in these woods…He takes over a person and makes him kill.”
This episode is from the fifth season. Booth as recovered from his brain surgery and has feelings for Dr. Brennan He’s not sure if they are real, or because of the story Bones wrote and was reading to him while he was in a coma.
Booth admitted his feelings for Dr. Brennan after they recounted the story of when they first met. But Dr. Brennan didn’t reciprocate.
Angela has thrown off her vows of celibacy, dating Wendall (making Dr. Jack Hodgins jealous) and having a pregnancy scare.
So let’s move on to the review!
The episode starts out with two girls going to the make out spot. They like the Katy Perry song I Kissed a Girl and decide to see if it is accurate. As they reach in for the smooch, a raccoon with a skull stmes running towards sending the skull right at them.
Leaving maggots all over her face!
Dr. Brennan and Booth get called in to check out the body.
Deputy Conway is in shock when she sees Booth. (I’m pretty sure I’d be the same way if I met David Boreanaz.
It turns out that Dr. Brennan actually grew up in the area and went to the local high school. She recognizes Officer Conway right away.
Officer Becky Conway: Have I arrested you before, hon?
Dr. Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan: No. You were my lab partner in Chemistry at Burtonsville High.
Officer Becky Conway: Are you absolutely sure? I have an excellent memory.
Dr. Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan: Positive. Though you are thinner now, which is better for you cardiovascular system. In High School, you were quite overweight, hence the derision from the other students.
Officer Becky Conway: Yeah. I remember you now. The creepy girl.
When they find the rest of the body it brings to mind the town’s urban legend about “the Butcher.”
Officer Becky Conway: “They say a spirit lives in these woods…He takes over a person and makes him kill.”
The legend states that the butcher murders his victims and then barbecues and eats their ribs.
It was just a story until a girl in their grade was murdered the same way, and found missing ribs.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Now this first victim Sarah Tidwyler was a member of the class of 94?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And the second victim was killed just before the reunion of the same class that doesn’t sound like a coincidence to me. Cops here agreed to keep everything quiet until we ID the victim and catalog the evidence.
So that’s it, Dr. Brennan and Booth are going undercover. Booth will be Dr. Brennan ‘s husband.
Meanwhile, back at the lab Hodgins lets slip to Wendell that Angela thought she was pregnant. It turned out that Angela never told Wendell anything.
Back in Burtonsville, Dr. Brennan can’t wait to introduce Booth to her only friend in high school, the janitor Ray Buxley. He used to find her creatures for her to dissect, talk to her about death, etc. essentially be creepy.
He’s creepin’ in your windows. He’s starin’ at your people.
Booth meets Julie, super popular back in the day, the organizer of the whole reunion; along with Brad, the once golden boy prom king of Burtonsville and married to the former head cheerleader, Evelyn Simms.
They then go see the janitor in his creepy basement/closet
Buxley was suspected in the earlier murder, and Booth seems him still as the number one suspect, even though Dr. Brennan doesn’t think there is anything strange about him.
Back at the lab Angela and Wendall meet up to talk about everything and break up like we all know they would. Come on, Angela and Hodgins are MEANT to be.
But enough of that, it is time to get down to forensic business. They are going to try and work on the face when Angela mentions in a video chat with Dr. Brennan that the victim once had a broken jaw. That creates a lightbulb moment for Dr. Brennan and she knows who the victim is.
Dr. Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan: 33. She was 33.
Angela Montenegro: Well, how do you know that?
Dr. Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan: Because I’m the one who broke her jaw… with a tennis racket. This is one of my classmates… Evelyn Simms.
Dr. Lance “Sweets” Sweets believes it to be someone at the reunion, after all emotions and resentments can run high at those. They try looking to see if there is anything else and discover that Brad was dating Sarah at the time she was murdered, and married to the recent victim. Very interesting…
The lab has discovered that the weapon was a metal blade, but what is interesting was how uniform the cuts were and the pattern, not to mention the distinct size and angle of the blade. The two have their work cut out for them as it appears the reunion is just hopping with all types of weapons in every blade size.
They send pics of everything, and the only thing that comes close would be an ice pick. They ask about Carrie, but Officer Conway is sure that the two were fine. After all, Evelyn gave her the city council contract for her catering business. But then Julie interrupts and reveals that Evelyn and Carrie the caterer were arguing and Evelyn took everything away. Carrie lost her whole business and was ANGRY.
It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!
That’s a pretty powerful motive, wouldn’t you say?
They question her but it turns out to be nothing. She was in Florida with her parents, the people she is living with as she lost everything.
Not the right one.
They get a call from Hodgins and al the material found on the body go with stuff you would find in shop class. There they discover Andy making a name plate out of wood for Dr. Brennan, and he also has one there for Evelyn.
He also was interested in Sarah and believes that all women are interested in him. I know its not him; he’s just obsessive and insane.
They check around the room and discover bone dust. Evelyn was definitely dismembered in that room.
Everything seems to be pointing to Brad; mechanic who knows his way around tools, has a big insurance policy on her, and was with both victims.
That night they are dancing away at the reunion while waiting for some confirmation on information from the lab. Dr. Brennan is excited beyond words:
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, you’re tearing up.
Dr. Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan: This is the prom I never got to go to.
Instead of balloons, stars are released from the ceiling. Everything is beautiful and magical…but then Dr. Brennan notices something…those stars are a perfect match for the angle of the murder weapon.
They snap a pic and send it back to the lab. It is a perfect match! They have found the murder weapon, now all is left is to catch the murderer.
Is it Mr. Buxley?
Dr. Brennan goes over to question Buxley about who made the stars. He has figured out that Dr. Brennan isn’t there for the reunion, but is investigating. He tells her that Julie was the one who did it, after all she made every decoration in there.
Ray Buxley: Don’t surprise me, though. One look at her and you can tell she’s off. Them smiley ones, they always give me the willies.
They arrest her and it turns out she is a regular psycho. She and Evelyn made a pact in high school to kill Sarah and share Brad. When Evelyn wouldn’t give him up, she killed her.
A great thriller episode with some fun parodies. You should definitely check it out.
So it has been a while since I last did a fangirl post. All I can say is sorry! Unfortunately life cannot always be structured the way I wish.
So here we go with a few more of my favorite things.
Words cannot describe how much I adore Star Wars, although I have tried pretty hard in the past to explain it. While Episodes 1-3 & 7 had a few good moments, nothing will beat the original. Episodes 4-6: A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, & Return of the Jedi will always be number one to me.
I can’t remember exactly when I first watched the series, I know I was young because when the Phantom Menace came out in 1999 I was only seven and a diehard Star Wars fan.
Episode 4: A New Hope is one of my all-time favorites. I just love the characters and the dialogue. Everything about it was just so perfect. I mean you have the adorable Luke who you can connect with his dreams and hopes. The hunky Han Solo, a rascal but has a heart of gold:
Wanted in my life
Darth Vader who was one of the best villians ever! Powerful, charismatic, scary, and has the best theme music and voice of all time.
I mean we don’t know anything about him. but we do know he is not a man to be messed with.
And then there was of course, the one woman I aspired to be like and who’s traits I tried to fold into my own personality: Princess Leia.
I mean she was just SOOOO cool! Here was a Princess that was intelligent, powerful, strong, political, beautiful, a problem solver, rebel leader, could hold her own against torture, willing to fight and die for what she believed in, could handle a variety of weapons, a quick thinker, witty, rescues herself (with a little bit of help) etc. She was just altogether AWESOME!!! I couldn’t think of a better role model to any young girl. Thank you George Lucas and Carrie Fisher.
The Empire Strikes Back was just an amazing film as well. The action, the great continuation, yet giving it its own flavor; and that reveal. I mean you all know what I’m talking about (that have seen the film) but I won’t say just in case for those who haven’t watched it. Although that’s just crazy talk. I mean join us Star Wars fans already!
Or should I say Star Wars side?
And then we have Return of the Jedi. In here we see the final progression of Luke’s character. First we have an idealistic young man, turned pilot, turned rebel, turned Jedi padawan, to Jedi Knight. He has been able to conquer the force in a short amount of time and ready to continue on. But first he must face one person and defeat the dark side.
Return of the Jedi has some of the best moments in it. Like when Luke saves his father by believing that his father still is a good man, and willing to fight for him; even dying if necessary to reawaken the human side the the dark side ate long ago. Completely refusing to give in to the dark, this causes his father to receive the redemption and return to him, even if it was for a moment. Sometimes saving and helping others isn’t going in and beating people up, sometimes it is making sacrifices and risking yourself for others.
I of course am such a fan that I have a huge collection of Star Wars items. If it is something that has to do with the original series, I’m all over it like butter on toast. And I mean anything!
These three films are fantastic. Anyone who tells you different is a liar and unenlightened.
There are those who say that it is impossible to love Star Trek and Star Wars and here is what I say:
You can love both and I most definitely do.
In fact I am not just fan of the Original Series, although it is my favorite, I have watched every single reincarnation of this show. It is a lot to cover so I will try and hit the highlights.
Of course the original is the best (and BTW Thursday marks the 50th anniversary). I loved Captain James T. “Jim” Kirk as I thought he was just amazing! Strong, powerful, intellectual, eloquent, charismatic, a problem solver, and what a hunk! He would think through every decision making sure that he chose the best for his crew. But if he had to, he would get his hands dirty.
Then we have Spock. Logical, efficient, unable to understand sarcasm, etc. I also liked that he was biracial too, there are not enough characters out there that are for those of us who also are to connect to. And even with that Vulcan personality and his looks are not what you would categorize as a dreamboat but he definitely is one.
Then we have Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy. The best thing about Bones is his wit and sarcastic nature. I love all his sayings, I mean every word that drops from his mouth is just so sassy and fun. He is so hilarious and part of the dream team that made Star Trek a hit.
Then we have Star Trek: The Next Generation. And let’s all face it, as much as I thought Captain Picard was the best; for me it is all about Data. What an awesome character and just downright hilarious.
I also had such a thing for Riker. I think it was that beard.
Although he was quite the hunk without the beard as well.
Deep Space Nine was okay, but not a fav so let’s keep going. Voyager was alright, my favorite character being Neelix, the cook. He was just the sweetest thing.
Enterprise was also okay, but not nearly as good as TOS.
The new movies that came out were done very well, much better than the revamped Star Wars. The only thing I don’t like is that they made the new Kirk a little more brawn and less brain. Oh well, you can never repeat the original.
While Star Trek may go through numerous changes, I’ll always love it.
I thought Xena was pretty cool and one awesome warrior, although I did think she needed a more covering outfit to fight in. I mean seriously, they always put women in these outfits that are not the best for crime fighting.
Growing up I never saw a lesbian relationship, I always thought of the two as BFFS, going out and fighting to help others. I still don’t think of them that way, but I guess to each fan their own view?
Anyways, I still remember it being a big part of my childhood.
So I’m sure some of you are thinking what a loser.