Why Do People Love Bridget Jones’ Diary?

Bridget Jones’ Diary (Bridget Jones’ Diary #1) by Helen Fielding

So I watched the movie before reading the book. How did I feel about it?

I HATED the movie. There was a few things that were good, like the cooking scene, but on a whole I thought it sucked. I don’t see at all what it has to do with Jane Austen. To read my full review, go here.

So the book?

I didn’t like it either. I gave it zero stars on Goodreads.

Now I know you might think this review is a copout, as there is hardly anything written, but you do not know how many times I have tried to review this book.

I have read this book three times and I just don’t get it. I don’t find the characters interesting or as amazing as everyone else seems to. I especially can’t stand Bridget!

I just do not get it.

Could someone please explain it to me?

For more Bridget Jones, go to You Are a Horrible Cook, But I Will Eat What You Prepare Anyway: Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MATURE

For more Pride and Prejudice variations, go to Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MILD

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to Victoria and the Rogue

In other news, I typically do 14 posts on romantic moments in film and TV, but I will not be doing that this year. It’s canceled.

I know, I know. I hate breaking with tradition, but I’m just not in the most romantic mood. Sorry all…

I hope you all have a great Valentine’s Day, if you are one to celebrate.

You Are a Horrible Cook, But I Will Eat What You Prepare Anyway: Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

Most Romantic Moment #4

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Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

So Bridget Jones’s Diary is a film I didn’t really like, click here to read why, but had a few romantic moments that I enjoyed, and here is one of them

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Bridget Jones works at a publishing company and has the hots for her boss, Daniel Cleaver, (Hugh Grant). She is unhappy with her weight, smoking, alcohol consumption, and singleness.

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Her mother tries to throw her together with recently divorced barrister, Mark Darcy (Colin Firth), but Bridget thinks he is a snob and gets offended at something he says.

Those guys

That guy

After a really embarrassing night she goes off with Daniel Cleaver. The two begin dating and he tells her that he had his heart broken when Mark, his best friend, took off with his fiancé.

What jerks

What a jerk

Also to complicate Bridget’s life, her mother has split up from her father dating someone new.

what what'shappeningSupernatural

Bridget is excited to show off her boyfriend, but Daniel is called away; and it turns out he’s been cheating on her the whole time.

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Back to the ice-cream

Bridget leaves her job and takes another where she is mostly boobs and butt instead of a serious reporter.

Those guys

Those guys

As she is trying to change her life, Mark says he loves her out of the blue.

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Will Bridget be able to navigate her life through the twists others toss her way?

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Most Romantic Moment: I Will Help You Cook and Eat What You Make

So Bridget has this bright idea to cook her birthday dinner, but unfortunately has no clue how to cook.

I don't know what to do

Mark stops by, out of the blue, and when he sees her uncertainty and lack of skill goes right into the kitchen to assist her.

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With a voice like Bing Crosby's who could blame them?

A guy who cooks?

But the most romantic part of this, is not only does he get in the kitchen and assist in the cooking; showing he is not a snob, stiff, and destroying the image Bridget cooked up in her mind: but he actually eats the slop that Bridget eats.

What?!

What?!

That’s real love right there, because that food looked and probably tasted disgusting. But Mark didn’t let that get in the way. He loved her so much he overcame such obstacles.

Aw!

Aw!

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To start Romance is in the Air: Part V, go to I Did It for You: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

For the previous post, go to I Will Face My Fears for You: Back to the Future (1985)

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For more on Bridget Jones’ Diary, go to Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

For more Colin Firth, go to When I Get Into a Novel

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Is Mr. Darcy Out There?

For more based on Jane Austen, go to Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

bridgetjonesedge

So this film is supposed to be a modern day retelling of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice.

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Strangely enough it stars two people who had been in films based on Jane Austen’s work. Hugh Grant plays Daniel Cleaver, our George Wickham, when he was in the 1995 Sense and Sensibility as Edward Ferras.

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And then we have Colin Firth as Mark Darcy, having played Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice (1995).

mr darcy

Now I understand why Colin Firth decided to be in the film, I read online that he thought it would distance him from the 1995 miniseries, along with killing the wet shirt.

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But oh Colin Firth, you were so wrong.

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That will never die

Darcy

So let’s look at the film:

gusPsychpopcorn

So prior to this viewing, I had seen the part where the mom has left the dad for another guy, the “vicars and tarts party”, and the very end in the snow.

Why?

Why?

From what I had seen I wasn’t really interested as I didn’t think it looked that good at all.

uh-no-gifuhno

However, lots of people love it. Everyone says they are funny and it was just given a third installment.

Truth be told I don't

Truth be told I don’t

 My friend is one of those who loves this film and she convinced me to watch it with her.

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I did and I really didn’t like it.

I don't like it 11

I just don’t get the love for this film!

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It mean doesn’t really follow Pride & Prejudice, the characters aren’t that likable, the situations silly ands not really making sense.

uh-no-gifuhno

I think this movie is horrible, and I’ll tell you why.

Let'sdothis

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Mark & Bridget Falling in Love

BridgetJonesDiarymrdarcyilikeyoujustthewayyouare

Mark (Mr. Darcy) and Bridget (Elizabeth) barely have any screen time together, so they don’t really have the opportunity to grow in a relationship. This is a problem with modern adaptations as in the original tale (and in history), when people visited they didn’t stay a few days, they stayed weeks or months. Darcy spent a long time with Bingley, encountering Elizabeth when she came to assist in her sister’s recuperating. And then again when Elizabeth stayed with Charlotte, but here they meet up at a family party her parents are throwing, a dinner party, accidentally while she is on vacation with Daniel (Wickham), and they fall for each other?

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

It doesn’t really work. They should have had them spend more time together. I mean he decides to forgo a new career in New York, throws himself at her feet, etc. We should see why he would.

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Bridget is an Empowering Character. Or is She?

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Bridget is constantly being sexually harassed but does nothing about it.

What?!

What?!

I know! Look at the little tagline there, it says

“For anyone who’s ever been set up, stood up, or felt up”

And it acts like it is going to be real empowering or something. And is it? No!

SayWhat

Bridget never stands up for herself or does anything about; choosing to just suffer through it. We have her creepy uncle who every time he sees her grabs her butt. Does she tell him off or her parents so they stop inviting him? No. Instead she just lets him continue.

I don't think so

And then when Daniel gropes her in the elevator and says inappropriate comments, does she do anything? No She just lets him do whatever.

Ryan-Gosling-Oh-No-You-Didnt-Half-Nelson

And then there is the way that her new job treats her, as breasts and a butt.

Big brain small boobs

What kind of message is that saying, especially since it is “based” on a character who is renowned for the beauty of her wit?

I don't like it 11

I mean I’m not asking her to go all out like this:

fliptablesangrysurprised

I’m just asking for her to stand up for herself.

No thank youhowaboutno

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Where Oh Where is the Witticism?

Where is the wit? Elizabeth was a great character who always put her two cents in.

PridePrejudiceDon'tTemptme

In this Bridget is made to be more of not a bimbo, but one who never thinks but just spouts off the first thing that pops in her head.

If only people followed this advice.

If only people followed this advice.

She is nothing like who she is based on at all.

the-austenite-prayerElinorDashwoodAnneElliotElizabethBennetDarcy

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Why Does Bridget Continue to Believe Daniel?

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Why does Bridget go on believing Daniel after she finds out that he is a big fat liar?

Pinocchio liar

Daniel tells Bridget this story about how Mark Darcy slept with his fiancé, being the nail in the coffin of hate. But then we find out that Daniel is a a liar and was not only cheating on Bridget, but she is the other woman.

What jerks

What jerks

Yes, he was in a relationship the whole time and leading Bridget on with no intention of ever having it be more. Then when Bridget quits, we discover that Daniel had been keeping Bridget from moving ahead as he wanted to keep her to dabble in.

Pride&PrejudiceDarcypunch

Why does she think anything he said is the truth? When I found out my ex cheated in me I was really angry:

KickShin

But it also made me question everything he did and said. Why wasn’t it the same for her? I mean in the book Elizabeth doesn’t find out that Wickham is a liar until Darcy reveals what he did. And as soon as she sees him again, she lets him know that his drivel isn’t welcome here.

You-serious?-Not-happening-babe!

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Why Did They Have Her Parents Separate?

Over You

I really don’t understand why the film has the mother and father split up. It doesn’t really enhance the plot or create growth for the characters. I mean the only thing it “adds” is that with the mom out of the way the truth about Daniel’s lie isn’t given until the end. I don’t know why they did but I sure didn’t like that she comes home on Christmas and everything is okay, they are back together. There isn’t even an emotional payoff in that.

Those guys

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Why Would Darcy Read Bridget’s Diary?

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So Bridget leaves Mark downstairs while she changes out of her embarrassing underwear. She tells him to make himself comfortable and read some magazines and he reads her diary.

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Really? I do not see Mark ever doing something like that when he has other options. He’s just not that type of guy at all.

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And her running after him in the snow with no pants or coat. Yeah right, she would freeze before she met up with him.

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Bridget’s Friends are Atrocious

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

Bridget’s friends are awful.

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All they do is give horrible advice or make the situation worse.

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Where is level-headed and realistic Charlotte?

Charlotte-Lucas

Where is the kind, caring, always seeing the good Jane?

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We have Tom who makes the situation worse, bringing the fight into the restaurant and the wait staff out; Shazzer who just complains and places all kinds of doubts in Bridget’s mind; and the other friend who just cries all the time.

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No thank you.

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So I haven’t read the book, (maybe I will like that better), but as for this film, except for a few good moments, I see it as a dud.

Ew Yuck Gross

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For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

For more Pride & Prejudice adaptations, go to Austenland

For more Jane Austen films, go to Is Love at the Thanksgiving Parade Really Just Pride & Prejudice?

For more Jane Austen adaptations, go to Midnight in Austenland

For more Colin Firth, go to When I Get Into a Novel

For more Hugh Grant, go to The Eye of the Storm

Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart

MrDarcyBrokeMyHeart

Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart by Beth Pattillo

Have you ever had a book and had a bad feeling about it?

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Either you check it out from the library, unwrap it, or pick it up in the bookstore and you just know that this book is not going to be something you enjoy.

DislikeYOuScream2

Well that’s how I felt about this book. In fact I borrowed it from the library months ago, but just couldn’t bring myself to read it. Eventually I couldn’t renew it any longer and had to read it.

So I started the book out and I actually was enjoying it.

WHAT!

WHAT! MUST KEEP READING

But then I got to the end where it all fell apart and I hated it.

I dont like it 11

So what went wrong?

So the book starts out Claire Prescott. Claire is in her thirties and from Kansas City. She is in a lackluster relationship with Neil,a  sports fanatic, and has recently lost her job when her sister calls in with a favor. After Claire’s parents died, she became the soul caregiver for her sister, forgoing college and other young adult dreams. Even now she is always caring for her sister, no matter that she is married and pregnant with her second child. Anyway, when her sister is put on bed-rest and can’t attend a special Pride & Prejudice seminar to give her paper, Claire steps up to the plate.

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Only one problem. Claire has never read anything Jane Austen, and the only thing she knows about it is that everyone who has read or watched it is obsessed with Mr. Darcy.

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So Claire journeys to Oxford University where she will be presenting the paper, and starts to feel overwhelmed as she is nowhere near the caliber of these people.

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She tries to relax and settle down, when the most gorgeous man comes her way and asks to sit with her.

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He introduces himself as James, in publishing, and from Manhattan. He too will be in the Pride & Prejudice seminar, although he is not a fan. Unfortunately he is as arrogant as he is cute. Luckily, the tongue-tied Claire is saved from making a fool of herself, as her room is ready.

That night and the welcome dinner, Claire finds herself seated with James and Martin, a kindly old man who instantly likes her. Claire tells them she is a doctor in pediatrics instead of the truth, making the same stupid cliché mistake that is done a thousand times in film and books.

Every time!

So now you know she is going to fall for James, and he for her, and then the truth will all come out making James never want to see her again. Same old, same old.

Same old thing.

Same old thing.

The next day is a free one, to help those who are suffering from jet-lag, and Claire decides to take a walk in the country. As she is roaming, she runs into an older woman, in a trench coat, sitting on a stump.

That's weird.

That’s weird.

Her name is Harriet Dalrymple and it turns out that she is a fan of Jane Austen as well. In fact she is distantly related to the author.

Harriet invites Claire over for tea, and Claire goes as she hopes to get Harriet out of the heat. They get to Harriet’s home, when Harriet drops a bomb on Claire. It turns out she has an earlier draft of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, the one that has been believed to be destroyed.

Say What

Claire is sure Harriet is joking, but Harriet pulls out a sheet of very old paper, written in old ink, and it looks extremely legitimate.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

So Claire starts reading, and even to her limited knowledge it doesn’t seem right. While the style looks right,

Mr. Bennet is dead!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

And Mr. Bingley chooses to forgo renting Netherfield!

NotLiketheBook

Rev. Collins decides to leave the church and instead become a gentleman of leisure.

What the

This version sounds more like the beginning of Sense & Sensibility, with Elizabeth planning their removal to a cheaper area, Mr. Collins coming and kicking them out a’la Fanny Dashwood, and the whole group moving to the seaside. The only difference? Elizabeth decides to seek employment. 

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Now there are quite a few problems with this writing, the first being why didn’t Jane marry Mr. Collins? When you read Pride & Prejudice, we know Jane is a people pleaser and that she would do anything her parents told her too. And we know that Mr. Collins likes Jane, in fact the only thing that keeps him from marrying her is because Mrs. Bennet assumed that Mr. Bingley would ask for Jane’s hand. But if we have no Mr. Bingley, then most likely Mr. Collins would have asked for Jane’s hand and Mrs. Bennet would have agreed, like in Lost in Austen. 

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

Why would Elizabeth be seeking employment? I mean we know that Elizabeth cares for her family and wants to help them, but she is of the gentry class [minor], so it is a bit odd that that would be her first idea. Someone like her who has never had to worry about such things automatically jumping to that? This isn’t modern times, it would make more sense if the idea grew gradually instead of all at once.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

So Claire becomes a little weirded out as Harriet says “the others won’t be happy” that she shared the manuscript. In fact she starts to worry that maybe she is in the opening scenes of a horror film.

Gilmore girls creep

She quickly runs away and heads to downtown.

Run Away

In downtown she runs into Martin and learns more about Jane Austen, such as the fact that she wrote a manuscript 10 years prior to Pride & Prejudice, but choose not to keep it, later publishing the one we have today. That starts her thinking, could the one I’ve been reading at Harriet’s be the “real” one?

IndianaJonesHmmMaybe

Martin also tells Claire about Tom Lefoy, the wealthy man Jane Austen fell for, but was unable to marry as his relatives quickly spirited him away from such a poor conquest. Tom Lefoy is believed to be the foundation for Mr. Darcy’s character, Austen’s version having a man of high means willing to brave the negative consequences of marrying down, along with the hateful reception from his relations. Tom Lefoy was also the basis for the plot of Persuasion, of course that novel being a wish fulfillment as the man goes away, but comes back, reuniting the couple.

The next day starts the seminar, and Claire meets their facilitator Eleanor Gibbs. Besides Claire, James, and Martin, there are three other group members: Rosie and Louise from New Zealand, and Olga from Russia. Rosie & Louise go first, their video presentation on the many portrayals of Mr. Darcy in film and TV.

 Pick whichever look you prefer

Now nobody likes their presentation, but this would actually be pretty fascinating IF done right.

I mean first we have Laurence Olivier (my opinion one of the best Darcys) who is able to play restrained and rude; balanced with the charming and endearing Darcy. You also see subtle changes in how he talks to Elizabeth, but with the proposal still coming as a shock. Then we have David Rintoul in the ’80s who is more rude than restrained. Colin Firth‘s  Darcy is the first time we are seen multiple sides of Darcy as in this depiction as we are shown his viewpoint on events instead of just Elizabeths. In Furst Impressions, Mr. Darcy is played by Wishbone the dog, being RADICALLY different. Then we have Colin Firth again, this time in Bridget Jones’ Diary, playing a betrayed man, restrained as his heart was broken, but eventually showing his true emotions. Martin Henderson in Bride & Prejudice, is not only extremely cocky but integrating into a vastly different culture. Matthew Macfayden is more cold than rude, changing more rapidly to the charming Mr. Darcy. Lost in Austen’s Darcy is played by Elliot Cowan who can be downright cruel at times. Josh Hopkins‘ Darcy in The 12 Men of Christmas isn’t a gentleman or rich, but a rugged outdoorsman, small business owner, and volunteer on the rescue squad. J.J. Feild in Austenland is more reserved, but then easily transforms to the Darcy we all love. And then of course Daniel Vincent Gordh, The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, isn’t even shown until the very end, forcing the viewers to rely on how Lizzie and friends see him, contrasting that to the amazing Darcy we are later introduced to. Sorry small tangent, I’ll get back to the book review.

LookBackNorth&SouthMr.Thornton

So, no one likes their presentation and Claire feels better about presenting next time.

The next day, Claire sees James and Eleanor talking, and it doesn’t seem to be going all that well. She waits until they are done to get a seat, when Eleanor comes over to talk to her.

OhNOthisisgonnabebad

It turns out that Harriet is Eleanor’s mother and suffering from dementia. Eleanor thinks Claire will only make things worse and wants her to stay far away. Claire doesn’t want to stop seeing Harriet, but at the same time she doesn’t want to hurt her.

Later that afternoon as she is walking away, James comes out of nowhere and asks her to dinner.

What?

What?

Claire is surprised, but accepts.

excited

James takes her to a super fancy place for dinner and the two discuss Darcy. James thinks it’s the money and extreme good looks that stirs the women’s hearts, but Claire doesn’t agree. He kind of squashes anything Claire has to say in retort and moves on to other topics.

How rude

Now here is where James is dead wrong. Money isn’t what makes Darcy so sought after, [you can read more about in my post First Impressions], it’s the fact that he is willing to humble himself and admit he was wrong, help out the Bennet family with no promise that he would gain Elizabeth’s heart, and the fact that he is brave enough to withstand all objections by his family for the woman he marries. That is why he is so romantic!

Mr.Darcy & Dating

Anyways, James tells Claire that Martin is a professor who’s field is Jane Austen, in fact he will be teaching in Oxford in the fall. Claire is surprised and the conversation moves on.

That night as James is walking Claire to her dorm, the two have a moment, nothing happens, but Claire is starting to feel guilty about it as she is in a relationship with Neil. A stagnant, boring one, but a relationship none the less.

Likeahouse

The next day Claire finds herself going to see Harriet’s, and another portion of the “manuscript”.

Elizabeth is at Rosings Park, a companion to Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s daughter Ann.

suspicious  Hmm

Okay why is she working here? How did she even meet Lady Catherine? Reverand Collins introduced them in the original novel, but judging from how people treated the ex-Reverand Hale in North & South, I don’t think Lady Catherine would want someone related to the ex-Reverand Collins. Whether he left the church for beliefs or money.

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So Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam are on their way to visit. Elizabeth goes out walking the gardens and getting messy, dirty, and tan. She runs into Mr. Darcy on a horse. He believes her to be a lower class servant and is rather mean to her. Elizabeth shoots the barbs right back.

Okay in Pride & Prejudice, Mr. Darcy was seen as rude or cold, but never downright mean. In fact the whole reason everyone really starts hating him is that he gives the impression of looking down on people and says Elizabeth isn’t pretty enough to him. BUT, we know from his servants that he really nice and caring, so why would you make him like this?

Get it right

Get it right

As she continues on her way, angry with herself as being rude might get her fired, she encounters Colonel Fitzwilliam, who has injured himself riding. The two flirt a bit, and Elizabeth scurries on her way to get help.

So we have Colonel Fitzwilliam as a rival for Elizabeth’s affections instead of Wickham. Claire is surprised by this, but can’t read more as she has to leave. Harriet warns her about Mrs. Potter, the leader of the Formidables, a secret society that wants to make sure anything Jane Austen’s sister did not intend for public viewships to remain hidden. Eleanor also wants the manuscript as she wants to publish it and become rich. Harriet sends all the pieces she has found with Claire, feeling they are safer with her until she makes her decision as what to do with them.

So now it is as if Claire has entered a spy movie, as she has “the package” everyone is after.

As Claire is contemplating what to do, she runs into James, who invites her to tour the Botanical Gardens with him. They walk around with Claire wanting to slowly stroll and take it all in, while James is just wanting to keep moving forward. Claire questions him as to what happened if a famous author’s previous manuscript was discovered and James tells her that it will mean A LOT OF MONEY for the person and the publishing house.

money money money

They eventually have to stop as it gets too hot. Now I have never been to England and I know this author has, but I looked up the temperatures and it does not get hot. 70 degrees? That’s nothing, try being in the ’90s or 100s. THAT’S HOT!

Anyways, as they are resting, James falls asleep, leaning on Claire. So with Claire having one guy interested it is fitting in scriptworld for Neil to decide to call her up.

Phew!

Phew!

Yes Neil who hardly ever seems to pay attention and is just calling her after she has been there like three days already! THREE DAYS!! He should have called the first day to see that she got in okay. Bad boyfriend, bad.

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

It turns out that Claire’s sister Missy said something to him, that made Neil want to call. Hurumph.

James wakes up and asks Claire to dine with him again, but she decides that the dining hall is better as the nice restaurants make her a bit uneasy and they really should be mingling with the other students. They have dinner, with Martin joining them. At the end of it, one of the porters comes for Claire as she has a package waiting for her.

Inside the package are more pages of the novel. Claire runs to her room to read more when she finds a warning note from Mrs. Parrot who wants the pages back.

They're watching her!

They’re watching her!

Claire decides to continue reading as she just has to know what happens next.

So Lady Catherine is throwing a ball, of which Elizabeth is not invited. To her surprise at the last minute Lady Catherine requests her presence, and she dresses quickly in a black gown. 

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-it

So as this manuscript is missing a lot of pages, we are unsure how long after Elizabeth’s father died that this ball is taking place. Black was only worn during the full morning period, half of the complete mourning period. As a daughter, Elizabeth would mourn for six months, having to wear all black in the first three and could wear half black for the last three. SHE WOULD NEVER, EVER wear a black gown if she wasn’t mourning. Now as Elizabeth is mourning, as she is wearing black, she could not go to the ball. Customs allowed the deceased’s family to only go to Church and a few functions, balls were out of the question. And a woman like Lady Catherine who cares so much about propriety and society would never make a faux-pas like that. NEVER!

So a mistake like that? Book’s a fake. Move on Claire, move on.

Majorly

Majorly

So Rev. Humphrey, the one who took Mr. Collins’ position, invites Elizabeth to an outing to show off his house. Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam are also going to take a look. Elizabeth agrees, if Ann’s health allows her to come. Lady Catherine agrees if Darcy leads Ann. Elizabeth notices that Darcy doesn’t seem eager to be thrown together with his cousin. Colonel Fitzwilliam will lead Elizabeth, disappointing Rev. Humphrey as he wanted her all to himself. 

Claire decides to go out for some exercise, taking the manuscript in her purse, and runs into Martin. She asks for his help and shows him the manuscript. Martin wishes he could see more and find out where it all came from, but Claire can’t tell him as she promised Harriet. Martin guesses that the Formidables are involved somehow in all this, much to Claire’s surprise. In the end Martin tells her that he believes it could be real, and when Claire asks for advice of what to do, he tells her to follow her heart.

heartguideyou

As she is heading to her room, Claire runs into James who makes her feel…words can’t describe. He walks her home when, he suddenly kisses her.

BMW Kiss

Just as suddenly he breaks away, all sorry that he gave her the wrong impression but nothing can happen here story. If nothing can happen why would you kiss her? Come, on!

Ryan-Gosling-Oh-No-You-Didnt-Half-Nelson

Claire is justifiably incensed and takes off to her room. When she reaches her room she finds it ransacked!

OhNOthisisgonnabebad

The next day Eleanor is angry with Claire for bothering her mother, and tries to get the manuscript from her. But Claire steadfastly refuses.

It’s time for Claire to share her sister’s essay, which is on the relationship between Elizabeth and Jane. Her sister, Missy, feels that Elizabeth’s constant helping actually hinders her chances of securing an attachment with Bingley, rather than the younger sister’s actions. However, I disagree as anything anyone says about Jane doesn’t deter Bingley except for when Mr. Darcy tells him that not only is Jane from bad stock, but he doesn’t think she really likes Bingley that much. So in reality it comes from Elizabeth not telling Jane what Charlotte told her too, make it clear she was very interested. Sorry Missy but you have some huge holes in your thesis.

This whole essay upsets Claire as it makes her rethink her relationship with Missy, maybe Missy actually resents everything she’s done to help her.

After the paper is shared, they spend the rest of the time talking about the guy we all hate, Wickham.

GeorgeWickhamKickButtPride&Prejudice

When class end Claire finds herself back at Harriet’s cottage, and is given the next part to read.

So the group has gone out to visit Rev. Humphrey’s home. The good Rev. is very interested in Elizabeth, which upsets Lady Catherine. ( I don’t know why? Wouldn’t she prefer him giving her all the attention instead of her nephews?) Elizabeth finds herself continuously paired with the colonel and starts enjoying her time with him. Elizabeth asks about an engagement between Darcy and Ann, but Colonel Fitzwilliam assures her that there is nothing definite. Elizabeth is hopeful as she cares for Darcy.

Now why would she do that? In this manuscript we have only seen two thing with Darcy 1) rude to servants and people he thinks are below him 2) Very quiet. Now does that seem like something Elizabeth would fall for? NO! In Pride & Prejudice there is the hope that maybe he might be her true guy, which is dashed when he says that he doesn’t think she is that attractive. Her contempt for him is only changed after she sees his sweet behavior in Pemberly with his servants, sister, and her and her relations. This is all further fortified when he helps with Lydia and brings Jane and Bingley together. Get it right!

Get it right!!!

Get it right Beth Patillo!!!

Elizabeth asks the Colonel more about  himself and learns that he has recently left the regiment as he has been granted a parcel of land by his father. He doesn’t seem supremely happy with the choice as he misses being out on the sea. Elizabeth also shares a bit of her feelings on how she dislikes the changes her family was forced to go through. Elizabeth then starts thinking on how he would make a great husband, and protect his wife. If only Darcy was like that. Darcy, who makes her feel alive when he kissed her, but now only ignores her.

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-it

There are two, HUGE problems with that! Huge!!

First of all, look at Elizabeth!! That’s not Elizabeth. That character is the type you would find in a 10¢ “historical”, bodice-ripping, romance novel. Oooh what a strong protector. Oh Mr. Darcy’s eyes, his lips. NO NO NO  NO NO NO! Elizabeth does not moon over such things NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This is horrible! This is like bad fan fiction. This is Fifty Shades of Gray bad! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!! Elizabeth would never act like that, Never!!!

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I’m sooooooooo upset right now!!!!!!

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Just argh!! Words cannot express how much I hate how they took a character I love and destroyed it so!!! And I get that the author is trying to present a radically different Austen novel and one that a younger Jane might write but I don’t care!!! I don’t like it!

I don't like it 11

And number two NO KISSING IN JANE AUSTEN NOVELS!!!! There is no way Jane Austen would write them kissing. That wasn’t done in Regency periods. You don’t go kissing until after marriage, unless you are a no good cad like Mr. Tilney’s older brother. So NO NO NO NO! Mr. Darcy would not be trifling with girls affections, no. And Jane would not put that in there.

So there! tongue sticking out pug

No way! It is a FAKE!!!!!!

Elizabeth enjoys Colonel Fitzwilliam’s company, but she is in love with Darcy.

Although I don’t know why as apparently he is a cad.

As Claire leaves Harriet’s she sees someone following her.

creep watching lovely bones Stanley tucci

It’s Mrs. Parrot who wants the manuscripts back.

The next morning, Claire heads out to Starbucks and on the way to class runs into James. James wants to apologize for how he was acting as he cares for her. He is about to confess something to Claire, and Claire is about to tell the truth on her not being a doctor, when who should appear? Neil.

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

What a cliché!

Neil introduces himself as Claire’s boyfriend, which upsets James. James asks if it is true, of which Claire says yes, causing James to become angry and stalk off. Neil realizes what has been happening and also becomes angry and takes off. Claire is just appalled at how quickly life was turned upside down.

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James presents his paper on how Elizabeth wasn’t really in love with Darcy but just a gold-digger once she saw how awesome Pemberly was. Claire runs out, just wanting to be alone to deal with all the stuff that went down that morning. She runs to the nearby river to think, when Neil comes floating down on a boat. They talk about their relationship, with Neil admitting that he didn’t pay as much attention to her as he should have, but that Claire wasn’t giving him as much attention as she is too focused on her sister. Now I thought this was a very late development, as previously Claire had mentioned that she did a lot for her sister, but when Neil mentions it as almost an obsession. Who is right? We don’t know as the author is almost trying to rescind her earlier reasons for why Claire was unhappy in her relsationship and the whole character based on Neil. I don’t buy it.

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Claire leaves Neil to think, and heads to Harriet’s who has found more pieces of the manuscript.

Elizabeth is walking in the park when she runs into Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy tells Elizabeth that he will not be victim to her game of trying to catch him. He tells her he loves her but that he could never marry a poor peon like her. If he was free from family control, maybe, but no. Elizabeth becomes angry, and says she never tried any such thing of “catching him”. And Darcy is free to do what he wishes.

Okay this is what I don’t like! They made Darcy the villian! They made him a pompus, jerk, pansy, mamma’s boy! No, NO, NO, NO. That is not how Darcy should be. And wouldn’t this Darcy make more sense after her fling with Tom LeFoy as she would have been angry with his lack of standing up for their love and releasing her anger in written form? Why would she  change and make Darcy better after such a disappointing circumstance when her previous creations evoked a closer emotion. It doesn’t make sense to me. And Darcy cannot be the villain. NO!!!!

No thank you

Elizabeth then travels to see Jane and pour out her miseries

Whatever! This book is going to have to do some major begging to get me to like it as it has sunk very, very low in my opinion.

So Claire and Neil meet at a pub to talk. It turns out that Neil is doubly upset as he was going to ask Claire to marry him.

ouch Hermione

They break up, and Neil heads to the airport.

Claire runs into James, who once he hears about the breakup, wants the two to start over fresh and build a life together. Claire appreciates his thoughts but tells him the truth about her not being a doctor. She also tells him that a part of her has been believing that he’s her Mr. Darcy.

Which he isn’t as he is totally jerky. Remember their dinner together, where he wouldn’t let her express her opinions?

Jerk

Claire goes to sleep missing Neil and wondering why she thew him away.

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Uh, Claire let me just remind you that the boy was taking you for granted and waited three days before calling or texting you! Three days! Find someone who really cares about you.

Missy calls Claire the next day and the two have a huge heart-to-heart. Missy tells her how she loves her sister, but truth is Claire has been sacrificing too much of her dreams and goals. Missy is grown now, Claire should be focusing on her own life, needs, desires, etc.

She later runs into Neil, who couldn’t catch a flight, which makes her regret everything even more. She believes that the man next to her is better than Mr. Darcy/James. Of which let me remind you James is nowhere near Mr. Darcy, and if Claire had actually read Pride & Prejudice she would know that. 

Mr. TPride&PrejudicePity

Martin finally presents his topic and it is on courage, the courage that Elizabeth has to reexamine herself and understand her heart.

As she is leaving, James approaches Claire. He tells her that he originally pursued her not because he liked her but because Eleanor told him that she had a copy of the manuscript. He was the one who ransacked her room.

Darcy Wickham Pride&Prejudice

He fell in love with her along the way and hope that they can start completely new and fresh. Claire says thanks, but no thanks. Which good for you, you don’t need a Wickham in your life.

I don't need you

Claire then goes to the Bodleian Library and researches into Austen’s life, finding what she thinks is the key to the change in the Mr. Darcys.

Claire believes that Austen changed from the previous manuscrupt because she actually expereienced what it was like to be poor. She also believes that the Mr. Darcy we love today, was created as to give redemption to the man that broke  her heart and fell short of her ideals. Harriet agrees and gives her the last page.

Elizabeth is visiting her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner in London, and enjoying their time together. She is trying to find a new job when a man arrives to see her, Colonel Fitzwilliam. He comes and tells her that he loves her and wishes to marry her, and that he is willing to stand up to the disagreements of his family. Elizabeth agrees to marry him. They take off to visit Darcy’s friend Bingley, taking along Jane. The End.

So all the author really did in this book was turn Darcy into a cad and reverse which Fitzwilliam had the guts. In the actual book, Colonel Fitzwilliam tells Elizabeth that he likes her but needs a woman with fortune, making sure that she has no hopes pinned on him. In this she has Darcy do it. Yawn.

Nothing about this book was revolutionary to me or that delightful, as Pattillo seemed to be trying to just make money off Jane Austen fans, by twisting one of her classics and taking the characters we adore turning them into strange creatures only seen in stupid low-quality romances.

Mmhm great gatsby

By the way, Claire gives the papers to Harriet, and she returns home set on going to school, getting her degree, and gets back with Neil on the plane.

So I really, really did not enjoy this book. And I do not recommend it for any other Jane Austen fans

It was this bad.

It was this bad.

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For more retellings of Pride & Prejudice, go to The Accidental Bride

For more on works inspired by Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, go to Happy Birthday Pride & Prejudice

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to Cold-Hearted

All By Myself

Being alone can suck.

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And I’m not talking about being single or just having some fun by yourself, you know space away from people.

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I’m talking about being lonely. As in no best friends or people you can really talk to or hangout with.

Friends-Best-Friends

In fact, if we spend a  lot of time alone we can start doing things that we don’t normally do,

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And even going as far as doing things we didn’t think through.

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Which really explains Emma’s character.

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Yes, in the beginning of Emma, we read that her life has been pretty awesome:

“Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her.”

Life is great.

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Until…

da dum Jaws

Her governess gets married!

Say What

Come on, give me a second and I’ll explain.

So Emma lost her mother when she was a baby. To take care of her and her older sister, Isabella; Mr. Woodhouse hired a governess, Miss Taylor, but she was young and treated the girls more like her sisters than charges. In fact, after Emma’s older sister was married, Miss Taylor and Emma became the best of friends. BUT, with Miss Taylor’s marriage, that close companion is now gone. Not for good, but when your friend gets married, or in a romantic relationship with someone, your friendship changes. No longer does that person have as much time for you or free time, as they are now focused on someone else. No more Miss Taylor, just Mrs. Weston.

“It was true that her friend [Mrs. Weston] was only going half a mile from them; but Emma was aware that great must be the difference from a Mrs. Weston, only half a mile from them, and a Miss Taylor in the house…”

In losing Miss Taylor to Mr. Weston, Emma loses more than just a governess. She loses a sister, mother, friend, confidant, equal, etc. And is all by herself.

HowI MetYOurMotherAloneRobin

“Her father and her were left to dine together, with no prospect of a third to cheer a long evening.”

Noo!

Noo!

But what about her father?

Well, Emma’s father is not the best companion. First of all she is a girl, and I don’t care what anyone says (looking at you Mean Girls 2), girls need other friends that are girls. Guy friends are great, but there are things you can’t talk about with them. Mainly,

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

And other stuff. Plus her father…well he’s not in the best place to be a young girl’s companion. Mr. Woodhouse married when he was much older, as was often done. So he is first of all, much, much older than Emma. He also is a hypochondriac and is always getting anxious about things. This is hard for Emma as she always has to takes care of him, be cheerful so he can be cheerful, and abide by his rules (really fears). She loves her father, but he isn’t the everyday companion she needs.

Now what about people in the town? Well…Emma is friendless there too. You see at this time in England, there was a social hierarchy, and Emma is at the top.

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It is pretty sweet to be the first family and everything, but not so much in this situation. Everyone is kind or civil to her and she is invited to all the events, but unfortunately no one is her equal. So no one can be her real friend. Except Miss Taylor, who now is busy with her new life as Mrs. Weston.

The only friend she has now is Mr. Knightley [but more on him later].

So you see it is very easy how a smart girl, can become lonely and bored being by herself…

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Turning to meddling in other’s affairs, not only for amusement but for what I believe is a desire to have a connection to other people. To feel “a part of the group” and involved.

Now does this turn out well?

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You’ll just have to keep reading to find out!

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For more on Emma, go to One of a Kind

For more on Mr. Woodhouse, go to A Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

For more of my favorite songs, go to Let It Go

Part IX: Adventures in Movie Lines (My Favorite Movie Lines List)

AdventuresinMOvieLines

Same drill as before…another installment of my favorite movie lines in no particular order, for your amusement. Enjoy!

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801)”Cameron: You embarrassed the girl. Sacrifice yourself on the alter of dignity and even the score.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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802)”Eloise Y. ‘Honey Bear’ Kelly: Let me jump to my own conclusions.”–Mogambo (1953)

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803)”Uncle Carmine: Brenda, I speak on behalf of your father, my beloved brother, that Morty is garbage, and it would be an honor to me to take him out.”–The First Wives Club (1996)

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804)”Hugh Forbes: Then, a toast: May their days be long and full of happiness; may their children be many and full of health; and may they live in peace… and freedom.”–The Quiet Man (1952)

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805)”Alex Fletcher: [singing] Sleeping with a clown above my bed…[spoken] ‘Clown’ is not right.
Sophie Fisher: That’s “cloud.” Why would you put a clown in your bed?
Alex Fletcher: It would not be the first time.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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806)”Cal: I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one… you never give up.”–Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011)

Neverleaveyou

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807)”Inspector Lestrade: In another life, Mr. Holmes, you would have made a excellent criminal.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, and you an excellent policeman.”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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808)”[finding empty liquor bottles in trash]

Brenda: Let’s examine the evidence. Look! all bottles and gallon jugs!

Elise: I had guests!

Brenda: Who? Guns N Roses?”–First Wives Club (1996)

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809)”Eloise Y. ‘Honey Bear’ Kelly: The only lions I ever want to see again are the two in front of the public library.”–Mogambo (1953)

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810)”Azeem: Is she worth it?
Robin Hood: Worth dying for.”–Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

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811)”Alex Fletcher: The best time I’ve had in the last fifteen years was sitting at that piano with you.
Sophie Fisher: That’s wonderfully sensitive… especially from a man who wears such tight pants.
Alex Fletcher: It forces all the blood to my heart.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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812)”Irene Adler: Why are you always so suspicious?
Sherlock Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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813)”Landon: [voiceover] Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything. About life, hope and the long journey ahead. I’ll always miss her. But our love is like the wind. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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814)”Mrs. Danvers: [the new Mrs. de Winter wants to dispose of Rebecca’s letters] But these are Mrs. de Winter’s things.

The Second Mrs. de Winter: I *am* Mrs. de Winter now!”–Rebecca (1940)

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815)”Wayne Campbell: [to an old man in the neighboring car at a red light] Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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816)”Elise: You think that because I’m a movie star I don’t have feelings. Well you’re wrong. I’m an actress. I’ve got all of them!.”–First Wives Club (1996)

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817)”Sherlock Holmes: You have the grand gift of silence, Watson; it makes you quite invaluable as a companion.”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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818)”Mr. Knightly: How pleasant to be absent, but in the hearts of everyone.”–Emma (2009)

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819)”Cleopatra: Together we could conquer the world.”–Cleopatra (1934)

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820)”Bonnie Lopez: [as Reilly is playing his flute] Do you have to do that?
Reilly O’Reilly: Aye. I’m Irish. It’s how I manifest despair.”–Luck of the Irish (2001)

huh

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821)”Alex Fletcher: [Sophie moves a chair] What are you doing, you madwoman, you’re wrecking my apartment!
Sophie Fisher: Well, I can’t write sitting all the way across the room.
Alex Fletcher: No, go back to your corner!
Sophie Fisher: …Fine, all right. [Goes, leaving the chair where she moved it]
Alex Fletcher: I’m blocked. How am I supposed to get out?
Sophie Fisher: Go out the other side.
Alex Fletcher: But… but… I’ve never been out the other side.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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822)”Sherlock Holmes: It’s a matter of professional integrity! No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man’s dead or not!”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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823)”Mrs. de Winter: Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.”–Rebecca (1940)

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824)Antoninus: Are you afraid to die, Spartacus?
Spartacus: No more than I was to be born.”–Spartacus (1960)

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825)King Leonidas: This is Sparta!”–300 (2006)

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826)”Alex Fletcher: Just a little bit louder, because this song is intended for humans, okay?”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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827)”Tramp: Say no more, I get the whole picture. Aunts, cats, muzzles… Well, that what comes of tying yourself down to one family.

Lady: Haven’t you a family?

Tramp: One for every day of the week. The point is, none of them have me.”–Lady and the Tramp (1941)

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828)”Sctanley: My name is Sctanley, spelled with a C.”–Couples Retreat (2009)

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829)”Stoney: Ya know what, Dave, just Chill, ’cause you know why? Link and I had a Stoney time at the Mountain.
Dave: You took him to Mega Mountain? Are you crazy?
Stoney: Yeah, ’cause they’re ridin’ The Vapor in reverse.
Dave: They are?
Stoney: Unh-huh!
Dave: Oh, cool!”–Encino Man (1992)

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830)”Halley: Sometimes things happens and you just have to deal.”–How to Deal (2003)

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831)”Brenda:[about her ex-husband’s mistress]What’s the matter, Morty? Can’t you buy her a whole dress?”–The First Wives Club (1996)

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832)”Sherlock Holmes: There’s only at one case that intrigues me at present. The curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I’ve been studying her comings and goings, they appear most… sinister.
Mrs. Hudson: Tea, Mr. Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: Is it poisoned, Nanny?
Mrs. Hudson: There’s enough of that in you already.”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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833)”Mrs. Weston: Perhaps some tea and cake would revive you, Mr. Woodhouse.
Mr. Woodhouse: Cake! Surely you’re not serving cake at your wedding, Miss Taylor! Far too rich, you put us all at peril! Where is Mr. Perry, the apothecary? I’m sure he will support me!
Mrs. Weston: Ah, he is over there, Mr. Woodhouse, having some cake.”–Emma (1996)

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834)”Father of the Bride: Hey, buddy, I’m not paying you to hear your thoughts on life. I’m paying you to sing.
Robbie: Well, I have a microphone, and you don’t, SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY D*** WORD I HAVE TO SAY!”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

Boy Meets World

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835)”Nick: When you give up your dream, you die.”–Flashdance (1983)

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836)”Sophie Fisher: Are you OK?
Alex Fletcher: Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. It’s just my Pop! hip. It comes from years of doing our patented dance move. My God, I’ve suffered for my art.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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837)”Ivana Trump: Ladies, you have to be strong and independent, and remember, don’t get mad, get everything.”–The First Wives Club (1996)

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838)”Rita: This day was perfect. You couldn’t have planned a day like this.
Phil: Well, you can. It just takes an awful lot of work.”–Groundhog Day (1993)

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839)”Qui-Gon Jinn: Remember, your focus determines your reality.”–Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

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840)”Lori: [walks in] What are you girls doing?
Carrie: Destroying a man.”–John Tucker Must Die (2006)

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841)”Alex Fletcher: They’re aliens, clearly, I have no children.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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842)”Willy Wonka: The suspense is terrible… I hope it’ll last.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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843)”Bulldog in Pound: He has an eye for a well-turned paw, he has. Let’s see, there’s been Lulu…

Toughy: Yeah, and Trixie…

Dachsie: Und Fifi…

Pedro: And my sister, Rosita Chiquita Juanita Chihuahua. I think.”–Lady and the Tramp (1941)

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844)”[on being told the Christians are being blamed for the burning of Rome]
Vinicius: The people won’t believe such a lie!
Petronius: But they are believing it. People will believe any lie, if it is fantastic enough.”–Quo Vadis (1951)

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845)”Athena: The gods cannot do for man what man must do for himself.”–The Odyssey (1997)

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846)”Edmund Bertram: Surely you and I are beyond speaking when words are clearly not enough.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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847)”Robert: So, what’s the deal with this prince of yours? How long you been together?
Giselle: [wistfully] Oh, about a day.
Robert: You mean it feels like a day because you’re so in love.
Giselle: No, it’s been a day.
Robert: You’re kidding me. A day? One day?
Giselle: Yes.
[wistful again]
Giselle: And tomorrow it will be two days.”–Enchanted (2007)

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848)”Cameron: And, um, and here’s another problem. Bianca said that Kat likes pretty guys.
Patrick: [looks confused and slowly rises] Are you telling me I’m not a pretty guy?
Michael: H-He’s very pretty. He’s a gorgeous guy.
Cameron: Yeah. I-I just wasn’t sure. I didn’t know.
Michael: [gives him two thumbs up] You’re a gorgeous guy.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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849)”E.L.F.S. Leader: Tinsel. Not just for decoration.”–The Santa Clause (1994)

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850)”Fanny Price: Beware of fainting fits. Beware of swoons.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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851)”Alex Fletcher: No, no. He is a jerk! He is a jerk. It’s not a question. He is a jerk!
Sophie Fisher: But…
Alex Fletcher: No, he is! He’s a jerk! He’s a jerk!”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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852)”Sherlock Holmes: The game’s afoot.”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

strange things are afoot at the circle k

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853)”Willy Wonka: So shines a good deed in a weary world.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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854)”Sedgwick: Danny, do you speak Russian?

Danny: A little, but only one sentence.

Sedgwick: Well, let me have it, mate.

Danny: Ya vas lyublyu.

Sedgwick: Ya ya vas…

Danny: Lyublyu.

Sedgwick: Lyubliu? Ya vas lyubliu. Ya vas lyublyu. What’s it mean?

Danny: I love you.

Sedgwick: Love you. What bloody good is that?

Danny: I don’t know, I wasn’t going to use it myself.”–The Great Escape (1963)

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855)”Susan Price: So, this Henry Crawford, what’s he like?

Fanny Price: A rake. I think.

Susan Price: Oh, yes, please.

Fanny Price: They amuse more in literature than they do in life.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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856)”Hector: And I’ve seen the limits of your mercy and I tell you now, no son of Troy will ever submit to a foreign ruler.”–Troy (2004)

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857)”Young Susan: Think up lots of stories for me and eat hundreds of tarts.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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858)”Kingpin: There’s an old saying that too much pride can kill a man.”–Daredevil (2003)

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859)”Fanny Price: Run mad as often as you choose but do not faint.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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860)”Mr. Connors: Well, what I mean is, it’s not what a person looks like that makes them what they are. It’s the intent of their hearts and the good they’re willing to do for others that matters.”–Behind the Waterfall (1995)

Depthofaperson

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861)”Willy Wonka: *We* are the music makers… and *we* are the dreamers of dreams.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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862)”Daniel Cleaver: If you have to travel alone, travel in style.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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863)”[Mr. Stratford makes Bianca wear a pregnancy belly before leaving for a party, Patrick arrives and sees her]
Patrick: [to Kat] Who knocked up your sister?”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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864)”Anne Elliot: Are you here for the concert?

Captain Wentworth: No, I am here for a lecture on navigation. Am I in the wrong place?”–Persuasion (1995)

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865)”Edmund Bertram: Your keen adaptability to my brother’s possible demise sends a chill through my heart. A chill. Happily planning parties with his money. You shush my father like a dog at your table, and then you attack Fanny for following her own, infallible guide concerning matters of the heart. All of this leads me to believe that the person I’ve been so apt to dwell on for many months has been a figure of my own imagination, not you, Miss Crawford. I do not know you, and I’m sorry to say, I have no wish to.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

Get out

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866)”Patrick: Was that a yes?
Kat Stratford: No.
Patrick: Well, then, was that a no?
Kat Stratford: No.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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867)”Donkey: Real smooth, Shrek. “I’m an ogre! Arrr!”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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868)“Dr. John Watson: [reading a note from Holmes] Come at once if convenient.
[flips the note over to back side] If inconvenient, come all the same.”Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

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869)”Mark Darcy: I should have done this years ago.

Daniel Cleaver: Done what?

Mark Darcy: This. [Darcy punches Cleaver, hard]

Daniel Cleaver: Ow. F*** me, that really hurt. What the f*** do you think you’re doing?

Mark Darcy: This.[Darcy punches Cleaver again, even harder]”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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870)”Rogers: What else is there? She says, “Is beauty all that matters?”, and you say, “What else is there?”!

Prince Derek: It was dumb. I know!

Rogers: You should write a book: “How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less”.–The Swan Princess (1994)

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871)”Miles: It’s Christmas Eve and we are going to go celebrate being young and being alive.”–The Holiday (2006)

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872)”Father Fitzgibbons: I’m sure that the way to say what I’d like to say will occur to me after you’ve gone.”–Going My Way (1944)

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873)”Henry Crawford: Fanny. You are killing me.

Fanny Price: No man dies of love but on the stage.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

film-strip-874)”Queen Uberta: Where is Derek? Oh,never mind,I know where he is. Working on the mystery of the Fat Animal.

Rogers: The Great Animal,Your Highness.

Queen Uberta: Great, fat. It’s large and has fur.

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875)”Natasha: Bizarre what some men find attractive.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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876)”Willy Wonka: So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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877)”Camerlengo Patrick McKenna: I did not ask if you believe what man says about God. I asked if you believe in God.
Robert Langdon: I’m an academic. My mind tells me I will never understand God.
Camerlengo Patrick McKenna: And your heart?
Robert Langdon: Tells me I’m not meant to. Faith is a gift that I have yet to receive.”–Angel & Demons (2009)

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878)”Edmund Bertram: There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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879)”Willy Wonka: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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1080)”Denise Hennessey: I hate cosmetics companies. They get you addicted to the perfect lipstick or nail polish and then, six months later, they discontinue it. You have to buy your favorite colors like you’re storing up for the Apocalypse.”–P.S. I Love You (2007)

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1081)”Prince Derek: What? You’re all I ever wanted. You’re beautiful!

Odette: Thank you. But what else?

Prince Derek: What else?

Odette: Is beauty all that matters to you?

Queen Uberta: Derek, what else?

Prince Derek: [stammers; to Odette] What else is there?

[Rogers imitates a buzzer]”–The Swan Princess (1994)

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 882)”Fanny Price: Is it possible to be so happy?”

Edmund Bertram: Yes. Let’s make it our business, Mrs. Bertram, to happy ever after.–Mansfield Park (2007)

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883)”Kat Stratford: [to Patrick  after he asks her out for the first time] Do you even know my name screwboy?”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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884)”Walter Burns: [ducking from Hildy’s throw and reaching for the ringing telephone] Oh, you’re losing your arm! You used to be able to pitch better than that.”–His Girl Friday (1940)

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885)”Daniel Cleaver: Come on Bridget, we belong together – you, me, poor little skirt. If I can’t make it with you then I can’t make it with anyone.

Bridget: That’s not a good enough offer for me.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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886)”Odysseus: Sometimes you need to serve in order to lead.”–Troy (2004)

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887)”Cardinal Strauss: [emphatically] Man is flawed, always. Even this one.”–Angels & Demons (2009)

 

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888)”Rothbart: Once you steal something, you spend your whole life fighting to keep it.”–The Swan Princess (1994)

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889)”Ms. Perky: So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Morgan’s class… again.
Kat Stratford: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.
Ms. Perky: The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you’re interested.
Kat Stratford: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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890)”Roy Miller: I’ve been trained to dismantle a bomb in the pitch black with nothing but a safety pin and a Junior Mint, I think I can get you in and out of some clothes without… looking. I’m not saying that’s what I did.”–Knight and Day (2010)

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891)”Cardinal Strauss: Mr. Langdon, thanks be to God for sending someone to protect His church.
Robert Langdon: I don’t believe He sent me, father.
Cardinal Strauss: Oh my son, of course He did…”–Angels & Demons (2009)

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892)”Princess Odette: Will you love me, Derek? Until the day I die?

Prince Derek: No, Odette, much longer. Much longer.”–The Swan Princess (1994)

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893)”Captain Harvile: Poor Phoebe, she would not have forgotten him so soon. It was not in her nature.

Anne Elliot: It would not be in the nature of any woman who truly loved.

Captain Harvile: Do you claim that for your sex?

Anne Elliot: We do not forget you as soon as you forget us. We cannot help ourselves. We live at home, quiet, confined, and our feelings prey upon us. You always have business of some sort or other to take you back into the world.

Captain Harvile: I won’t allow it to be any more man’s nature than women’s to be inconstant or to forget those they love or have loved. I believe the reverse. I believe… Let me just observe that all histories are against you, all stories, prose, and verse. I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which did not have something to say on women’s fickleness.

Anne Elliot: But they were all written by men.”–Persuasion (1995)

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894)”Kat Stratford: We’re going now.
Walter Stratford: Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, *no* ritual animal slaughters of any kind. Oh, God, I’m giving them ideas.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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895)”Mark Darcy: I like you, very much.

Bridget: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and… ah, the verbal diarrhea.

Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.”–Bridget Jones’Diary (2001)

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896)”Gru: This is literature? A two year old could have written this!”–Despicable Me (2010)

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897)”Joey: Mr. Morgan, is there any chance we could get Kat to take her Midol *before* she comes to class?
Mr. Morgan: Someday, you gonna get b****-slapped and I’m not gonna do a thing to stop it.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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898)”Willy Wonka: If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it; want to change the world… there’s nothing to it.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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899)”Odysseus: [to Achilles] War is young men dying and old men talking. You know this. Ignore the politics.”–Troy (2004)

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900)”Bridget: The only thing worse than smug married couple; lots of smug married couples.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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For the previous list, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Lines List

For more on 10 Things I Hate About You, go to You’re Just Too Good to Be True

For more on 300, go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more on A Walk to Remember, go to Fulfilling the List

For more on Behind the Waterfall, go to Pot o’ Gold

For more on Bridget Jones’ Diary, go to The Beauty of Darcy

For more on Cleopatra (1934) go to Snakes on a Post

For more on Crazy, Stupid, Love; go to Save the Last Dance for Me

For more on Emma, go to It’s All Jane Austen’s Fault

For more on Enchanted, go to According to Disney

For more on Flashdance, go to Darcy’s Dream Date

For more on The Holiday, go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more on John Tucker Must Die, go to Sucky Sequels

For more on Luck of the Irish, go to Friday Night Fun

For more on Mansfield Park, go to On the 10th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Music & Lyrics, go to I’m Sorry Sounds Better in a Song

For more on Persuasion, go to A Letter of Love

For more on Rebecca (1940), go to Mr. Darcy: Man of Dreams

For more on The Santa Clause, go to On the 11th Day ‘Til Christnas

For more on Sherlock Holmes, go to The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For more on Star Wars, go to And Away We Go

For more on the Swan Princess, go to You Should Write a Book

For more on Wayne’s World, go to Episode III: Revenge of the My Favorite Movie Lines’ List

For more on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, go to A Trip to the Mall Turns into the Twilight Zone

For more on The Wedding Singer, go to Love Stinks

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For more on Frank Perettigo to It’s Alive, It’s ALIVE!

For more of my fav quotes, go to Be Good to Yourself

Happy Birthday Pride & Prejudice

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Pride and Prejudice was first published  in 1813, marking this year the 200th anniversary!

Now many there are many fandoms out there and in which the people convene, talk, dress as their favorite characters, create fan-fiction tales, etc. Some of the more known ones are Star Wars, Star Trek, Supernatural, Sherlock, Lord of the Rings, and Doctor Who; but none of these are anywhere near as well known, talked about, continuously recreated in film, book, clothing, memes, etc as Jane Austen. Face it, us Austenites have been around a long time and we are all pretty crazy.

If Jane Austen were still alive today this would countless fans

If Jane Austen were still alive today this would be countless fans

And out of all of her amazing works which is the most loved, fantasized, recreated, and inspirational to other films/books/movies?

You guessed it Pride & Prejudice

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I mean when someone mentions the name we all fangirl over it

This is so me

This is so me

When a group of us Austenites get together and start discussing the books and the movies and we hear that someone hasn’t read it, we all are shocked and disappointed.

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It is a testament to how awesome Jane Austen is that her work is still compatible to today’s times. It is so easily relatable, and she has clearly stood the test of time.

Here's to another 200 years!

Here’s to another 200 years!

One of the biggest reasons why is is the characters. Elizabeth and Darcy are so lovable, everyone wants to be Elizabeth and everyone wants a Darcy.

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I mean even in a culture where bad writing has become popular reads (for example Twilight and Fifty Shades of GreyPride and Prejudice still reigns supreme.

So to celebrate Pride and Prejudice’s birthday, I am going to be doing a series of Pride and Prejudice posts honoring one of Jane’s greatest works.

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I also will be reviewing the books, films, musicals, etc that are based on Pride and Prejudice. So if you are a fan, I am pretty sure you will enjoy these posts, if not-sorry but Jane Austen is in the web address.

For those of you who enjoy my non-Austen posts, never fear those will be coming as well. I just figured it was time to put the Austen back in JaneAustenRunsMyLife.

Here is the first of a series: 30 works based on Pride & Prejudice that I plan to be reviewing. (As there are a LOT, I will be posting multiple lists. In fact, thus far my list is 83 items and I’m adding all the time.)

Books:

Pride & Prejudice: A BabyLit Counting Primer by Jennifer Adams

An Assembly Such as This (Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman #1) by Pamela Aidan

Darcy’s Story: Pride & Prejudice Told From a Whole New Perspective by Janet Alymer

Pride & Prescience: Or a Truth Universally Acknowledged by Carrie Bebris

Suspense and Sensibility (Or First Impressions Revisited) by Carrie Bebris

Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife (Darcy & Elizabeth #1) by Linda Berdoll

Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MILD  edited by Christina Boyd and written by Various

The Darcy Monolgues: Part I, The Regency edited by Christina Boyd and written by Various

The Darcy Monolgues: Part II, Other Eras edited by Christina Boyd and written by Various

Victoria and the Rogue (An Avon True Romance #12) by Meg Cabot

The Butterfly and the Violin (A Hidden Masterpiece #1) by Kristy Cambron

Prude & Prejudice by Francine Carroll

Definitely Not Mr. Darcy by Karen Doornebos

Prom & Prejudice by Elizabeth Eulberg

Fall for You (Jane Austen Academy #1) by Cecilia Gray

Too Pretty by Andrea Grigg

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame Smith

Austenland by Shannon Hale

Midnight in Austenland by Shannon Hale

The Accidental Bride: A Romantic Comedy by Janice Harayda

Death Comes to Pemberly by P. D. James

Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart by Beth Pattillo

Pride and Prejudice Paper Dolls by Brenda Sneathen Mattox

The Confession of Fitzwilliam Darcy by Mary Street

Film:

Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

The 12 Men of Christmas (2009)

Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade (2012)

Death Comes to Pemberley: Episode One (2013)

Death Comes to Pemberley: Episode Two (2013)

Death Comes to Pemberley: Episode Three (2013)

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For an earlier  Pride and Prejudice post go to It’s Super Important