The Puppet Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)

So sorry to post so late, but I have a really good excuse.

Yes! Really! So a week ago I wrote this post, and then scheduled it-all it needed was some editing and it was good to go. But then my parents had to go out of town and I ended up getting their tickets to A Woman’s Friend banquet, in which Robia LaMorte Scott spoke. Yes, Robia LaMorte who played Jenny Calendar on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I know what are the odds of these happening on the same day?!

Wow

They weren’t originally going to have her either. It was going to be Ashley Bratcher, star of the movie Unplanned, but something came up and they asked fellow Unplanned actress Robia LaMorte Scott to fill in. Crazy, right!

Her flight was actually delayed so it made me get home late.

Sorry, but at the same time, I’m not sorry as I really enjoyed hearing her speak. But enough on that, let’s move on to the review. It friday so that means a TV episode…

So it is time for another Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode.

So I had a hard time choosing a Buffy episode this year as I have already reviewed the creepiest episode (at least in my opinion) of BVS.

And with both Netflix and Amazon not having it anymore, I was at a loss what to pick.

But then the library saved the day. At my library we have 5 seasons which gave me a lot to choose from.  Unfortunately, the DVDs were donated and their cases don’t have any listings as to what episodes are on them.

Ugh!

So I just grabbed random discs and figured I would watch until one struck me. But then I ran into problem number three: my blue-ray doesn’t have a remote so I could only watch the very first episode of each disc.

I got lucky on Season 1, Disc 3, episodes 9-12 with The Puppet Show.

So brief recap on what’s happened so far: so Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Geller) moves to Sunnydale and fulfills her role as vampire slayer aided by her watcher, Giles, and two best friends-Willow and Xander.

Buffy has a mysterious friend, Angel (David Boreanaz), who is revealed to be a vampire. But unlike other vampires, he was cursed with his soul so he acts more human than bloodsucking evil. The two fall head over heels with each other.

So far they have fought vampires, witches, a giant praying mantis, an animal demon spirit, an ancient demon masquerading as teenage boy online, and the Master’s plans to destroy Buffy.

Wow

With this episode it is time for a talent show and Principal Synder wants to hurt Giles by forcing him to be in charge. When the gang are overheard making fun of the magician who sucks and Cordelia being off key-the three are cast in it, although they have no clue what to do.

One person is doing a ventriloquist act, and what I want to know does anyone know anyone who does that? They always have it in TV, films, and books but has anyone ever had a kid from their school enter a talent show doing a ventriloquist act?

In fact-we only ever see three acts: dummy, Cordelia, and the magician. Weird as there should be more.

So Morgan sucks at his ventrloquist act, until the dummy starts talking back rudely and in a deeper voice. It’s like he has been taken over by a man from the 1940s.

Morgan also looks ill, and the more time he spends with the dummy, the sicker he looks. Headaches, gray skin, etc.

The only good act, the dancer, is stretching when she is attacked by something.

They find her later with her heart carved out.

That is not good,

So they find no tell tale signs tat this is supernatural and intend on leaving it for the cops. However, Buffy feels there is more to this and convinces them to start looking into whether it was something else, some kind of demon.

Hmm…

Meanwhile, the dummy, Sid, is watching Buffy. He tells Morgan she is the one.

We also get to watch the magician be more terrible at magic. There is a girl helping him and she isn’t good at it either.

That night Buffy talks to her mom who encourages her in the talent show letting her know she will be there that night to watch her perform. Buffy begs her not to come, but no dice.

Ugh! Really, mom!

That night, when Buffy is in her bed something attacks her. She fights it off and her mom runs into the room to check on her, they find nothing-but we see Sid in the window peering in.

Yeah, I’m on the train that Sid is the creepy dummy. I mean was there any doubt, After that Twilight Zone episode? And with R.L. Stine picking up the torch?

Buffy is sure she saw Sid, but when she tells the others-they laugh it off.

Bad things happen when you don’t listen

Buffy tries to talk to Morgan, but they get interrupted by Sid and can’t continue to tal. Morgan puts him in his locker and then Buffy breaks in later, Sid is missing. Did he walk away?

Meanwhile Morgan is acting weirder and sicker, and the dummy is talking so much, it gets taken away from him by the teacher.

Xander steals it when Morgan and the teacher are preoccupied and morgan searches for it, frantic.

Not the best idea.

Meanwhile, Xander reveals to Buffy he has the doll and plays around with it. Buffy warns him not to, but Xander laughs her off. Buffy goes to speak to Morgan while Xander sits the dummy down.

Mr. Giles and Willow do some investigating, and find a book on demons possessing toys. One particular demon needs a heart and brain.

Rupert Giles: Every seven years, these demons *need* human organs, a-a brain and a heart, to maintain their humanity. Otherwise, they-they-they revert back to their original form, which is, uh, slightly less appealing.

Willow Rosenberg: [reading] “On rare occasions, inanimate objects of human quality, such as dolls and mannequins, already mystically possessed of consciousness, have acted upon their desire to become human by harvesting organs.”

Uh, oh. They go to Xander, but the dummy is gone!\

Saw that coming,

Buffy goes to find Morgan, but he’s dead, head missing.

What, but I thought he was the guy?

As she investigates further, a candelabra prop crashes down on her. All done by Sid the dummy. She uses her super strength to push it off . The two fight but it turns out that Sid isn’t a demon but a demon hunter.

Sid: This is what I do. I hunt demons. Yeah. You wouldn’t know it to look at me. Let’s just say there was me, there was a really mean demon, there was a curse, and the next thing I know, I’m not me anymore. I’m sitting on some guy’s knee with his hand up my shirt.

Sid chose Morgan to team up as he was very smart and thought someone as beautiful, strong, ad powerful as Buffy must be a demon.

They discuss who the demon could be and decide it has to be someone involved with the talent show. They go to see who is missing during rehearsal but Buffy finds Morgan’s brain!

Why would the demon not want the brain, that’s what he needs???????! They investigate a bit more and are still puzzled as how Morgan was the smartest kid in school?

Giles leaves as he has to go back to the talent show while the kids hack into the school’s computer. They do notice a lot of sick days and Willow goes into his medical records and find out that he had cancer, and it returned.

The demon needs a new brain, but which one is the demon?

Hmmm

I admit I was lost, I thought maybe they shouldn’t trust Sid after all.

They decide that Willow is the next smartest person so as long as she stays away from the talent show. But then they realize there is another really smart person there, Giles.

That is not good,

There the magician needs a new partner and is using Giles as his sister is sick. The magician straps his head in a guillotine-okay this guy is clearly the demon,

As he prepares, a bit of his arm shows which reveals he is the demon.

Giles is about to be killed, when Buffy and crew come in to save the day. She and Sid go after the demon while Willow and Xander free GIles.

When Buffy knocks the demon out. Sid carves the heart out and is released from his curse, free!

Buffy hold him up, deeply disheartened he’s gone; Xander and Willow are by the guillotine with Willow holding the mallet to break the lock on the guillotine; and Xander holding the rope trying to keep Giles from getting his head cut open; and Giles in the guillotine.

And the curtain goes up!

So a great episode. I really love the twist at the end when it turns out that the dummy is’t the bad guy.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to I’d Risk My Life to Save Yours: Earshot, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1999)

For more demons, go to Night on Bald Mountain: Fantasia (1940)

For more Sarah Michelle Geller, go to A Study in Fandoms

I’d Risk My Life to Save Yours: Earshot, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1999)

Romantic Moment #10

Go here to see which you belong in

Go here to see which you belong in

“Earshot” from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1999)

So my friend was a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and took me along for the ride. I loved it, especially Angel (David Boreanaz).

Angel

Why did he have to leave the show?

MeanGirls I know right!

Anyways, he makes it so hard to pick just one romantic moment, darn you super romantic guy. But I think I settled on a moment that truly shows how much he cares for Buffy.

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So this episode takes place during season three. The Mayor has been revealed as evil:

Mayor from Buffy the vampire slayer

Faith accidentally killed a guy and has gone crazy, siding with the mayor and trying to destroy Buffy (Sarah Michelle Geller).

She is crazy!

She is crazy!

They tried to take away Angel’s soul so that he is evil

Dracula

He joins Faith, dating her now:

1Star-Wars-Luke-NOOO-Not-my-father

But it turns out to be a plot cooked up by Buffy and Angel to get info on the mayor.

However, having Angel going off and be with Faith like that has given Buffy lots of doubts and uncertainty about if Angel really cares about her and what really happened between them.

HeartHurtsDon'tKnowCanDoAgainHeartbroken

She fights a demon, but accidentally gets its blood on her. This gives her the power to read minds.

What?!

But soon this goes bad. The powers grow so strong that she can’t stop hearing voices, her mind hurts so bad, and she overheard that someone is trying to kill everyone in the school.

Not good

Not good

Buffy gets sent home to rest, while her watcher Giles searches for a cure, and the rest of the crew try to find out who is the possible murderer.

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Most Romantic Moment: Angel Practically Gets Burned Alive to Save Buffy

So Buffy is going to go completely insane unless she can drink this antidote. The only problem? They need the other demon’s heart, but how can they get it without the Slayer?

Angel buffy the vampire slayer

That’s right, Angel goes out and spends all night and half the day searching for the demon, killing him and bringing back the heart. Now why is that romantic? Well Angel is a Vampire, and has risked his life and suffered in pain; burning in the sunlight. I mean he was literally smoking.

ouch Hermione

And he continues through this to track down the only thing he knows can save Buffy, because he loves her.

igotitbuffythevampireslayerigotthis

And if that’s not enough he then stays by her side watching her until he knows she is okay.

buffythevampireslayerlayinginbedsleepsickwaitingareyouokay

So romantic!

So romantic!

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To start Romance is in the Air: Part V, go to I Did It for You: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

For the previous post, go to I Would Go Through Anything for You: Sleeping Beauty (1959)

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For more Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to She’s Been Totally Different…Like Stepford: Ted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)

For more Angel, go to Lookin’ Over a Four-Leaf Clover: 17 More Irish Heroes

For more Buffy, go to I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

For more David Boreanaz, go to The Butcher of Burtonsville High: The Death of the Queen Bee, Bones (2010)

For more Sarah Michelle Geller, go to A Study in Fandoms

She’s Been Totally Different…Like Stepford: Ted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)

BuffytheVampireSlayerTed

“Will, I’m not wrong here. Ted has a problem with me. He acts like I’m in the way or something. And Mom’s been totally different since he’s around.

Different, like happy?

Like Stepford.”

So quick background for those who don’t know who Buffy Summers is. Buffy is a strong, independent woman that totally kicks butt slaying demons, monsters, vampires, aliens, bug creatures, etc. She is lead by Giles her Watcher or mentor. He’s the type of guy you’d want as a dad or uncle. One if her best friends is Willow (played by Alison Hannigan) a shy, insecure, brilliant girl who takes care of spells and reversing curses. The other is Xander who is a total goofball. There is also Cordelia, the snooty, rich girl. At first she is Buffy’s nemesis, but she actually ends helping the group out. And lastly, Angel. Angel was a guy living in Ireland in the 19th century. He was turned into a vampire and wrecked havoc on the world. He was cursed by a group of witches in getting his soul back, forcing him to have feelings and a conscious. He turns from his life of killing, to protecting; attempting to atone for his mistakes.

That's a lot!

That’s a lot!

So this episode takes place in season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Short recap: Buffy knows she is the “Slayer” and accepted her role. At the end of last season, she saved the whole world from the Hellmouth. She and Angel are dating, and getting closer and closer. More recently, Cordelia and Xander have put aside their mutal disgust as they have become make-out buddies. Giles let loose a demon when he was younger, and that secret/demon came back out in the open. Spike and Druselia have been causing problems, but the crew think they have gotten rid of them. Now onto the review!

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

So one day Buffy, Xander, and Willow are patrolling the city at night, looking for any Vampires to get rid of. Everything is actually extremely quiet and nice for a change. Maybe it will stay like this for a while?

Spoke too soon

Spoke too soon

So Buffy goes home with her pals, and while she is outside she hears her mother scream and glass break. She pushes the door in, intent to save the day!

I-got-this-reaction-gif

Only to interrupt her mom and a man kissing.

idon'tgotthis

It turns out her mother has been dating a computer salesman, Ted, for quite a while. He came over tonight to cook mini pizzas for Buffy and her. The others of course join them.

Buffy is not happy at all as she does not like her mom dating again. In fact in a lot of ways they reverse roles, as she is scolding her secrecy.

I don't like it 11

Her friends however, love Ted. It turns out he is an amazing cook.

I love Pizza

Now the guy they choose for Ted is John Ritter. You know the sweet, funny guy from Three’s Company? The lovable, over-protective dad from 8 Simple Rules? And in this he is sweet, a great cook, pleasant, kind, etc. But something is just not right.

IDon'tTrustHimGreatGatsby

It’s weird, he’s like the perfect guy ever, but that’s the problem. It’s almost as if he is tooo perfect. Like he’s hiding something.

suspicious Hmm

Maybe I’m reading too much into it.

The next night Ted comes over again and cooks everyone dinner, along with baking cookies.

cookies

That night Buffy is so angry about how everyone is raving over Ted, she goes out patrolling, this time with Giles. Instead of finishing off Vampires like usual, she beats them to a pulp. She clearly has some issues with Ted dating her mom.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

And you can’t really blame her, it was all kind of sprung on her, I mean her mom didn’t even tell her she has started dating again.

How rude

The next day, Willow and Xander can’t stop talking about Ted. It is driving Buffy crazy, and she is convinced that something with Ted just isn’t right.

 buffyvampireslayerTed

Just as Buffy is talking about her suspicions, guess who shows up? Ted.

Person hate talking

Yep, he’s installing some new computer software for the school. He invites Buffy and her friends to mini-golf with him and Joyce, Buffy’s mom. Buffy doesn’t want to go, but her friends do and cancel their nonexistent plans.

On a side note, Giles and the computer teacher, Jenny, were getting close, but because of his old secret coming back to bite him in the butt, she can’t be around him at the moment.

Sadface Batman

That night Buffy goes to Angel’s place. She has been caring for him after he was badly injured in a previous episode. She complains about everything, but sweet Angel tells her to give Ted a chance. After all, her mother’s is probably been lonely from the divorce.

buffyvampireslayerTed

Buffy agrees and heads home.

At dinner that night, Ted is over once again. He not only made dinner, but went to the guidance counselor about her grades. He keeps going “Dad” on Buffy, even though he’s only known her for a couple of days. This makes Buffy angry, not only because he is overstepping his bounds, but being extremely controlling.

Something is not right!

The crew goes mini-golfing and Buffy isn’t very good at it. She knocks her ball way out in the bushes. Everyone wants to let her have a second chance, but Ted. He keeps insisting that rules are rules and they need to followed.

jerk_alert32

Like just chill, it is just a game.

Ted has convinced everyone that Buffy has to follow the rules like everyone else. She then picks up the ball and tosses it in the hole, yelling to everyone that she got a hole in two.

Double double yay

Ted tells her he saw what she did and gets angry. Buffy just shrugs it off and says that it is a game, making Ted get really mad and threaten her.

buffyvampireslayerTed

That’s it, Ted is a creeper.

Certified Creepo Ribbon

He needs to get very, very, far away.

Buffy tries to tell her friends and her mom about it, but no one will listen to her. In fact after Buffy tells her mom what Ted said, Joyce says “No, honey that’s not true. Ted told me what happened.”

Whattheheck

Yes her mom is taking his word over her own daughter!!!

what what'shappeningSupernatural

And that is what makes this episode scarier than any other one in the show. Because this is something that could really happen. Yeah vampires, ghosts, the swim team turning in fishes, a substitute teacher turning out to be some alien insect, etc.; are all pretty creepy. But this one tops them all because it could actually happen. The fact that someone could treat you cruelly but others nicely, causing no one to believe you is the creepiest. Especially when you know they mean you harm.

keanu Whoa

So Buffy knows that she needs to dig up some serious proof is she is going  get everyone to believe her. She goes to Ted’s work and discovers that he has planned his and Joyce’s wedding for two weeks from today!

This can't be happening

This can’t be happening

She looks over at his desk and sees a picture of her mom. When she looks closer, she realizes that she has seen that picture before. She opens the back, and it turns out to be a picture of her and her mom. Ted took it from the fridge where it was hanging, and folded Buffy out of the picture.

buffyvampireslayerTed

da dum Jaws

Yep, it is clear to see that this is a metaphor for what Ted wants to do. Remove Buffy from the picture.

That night Ted comes over for dinner. When he is praying he talks sweet and kind, but all his words are edged in double meaning. He knows what Buffy did.

Spoke too soon

Buffy asks them is they are planning on getting married. They say they aren’t but ask Buffy’s feelings on the matter. She tells them that it makes her want to kill herself.

ouch Hermione

This earns her a ticket to her room. She leaves out the window and goes patrolling. When she gets back she has a surprise waiting for her.

Ted.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not only has he been waiting for her in her room, but he’s been snooping through everything. He found her diary and read it, threatening to tell her mom that she is crazy, and needs psychiatric help for her “Slayer” and “Vampire” delusions; unless she does everything he asks her to do.

Screen shot 2015-06-22 at 6.43.55 AM

Buffy tries to get the diary back and Ted slaps her. The two start fighting, with Buffy’s Slayer abilities causing her to over power him, and him to fall down the stairs. Joyce sees them and checks the body, finding Ted dead.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

You know Joyce is so focused on Ted, she doesn’t even ask why they were fighting. Buffy has been a good kid her whole life, but Joyce just assumes her daughter is a murderer than needs protection, rather than assuming Ted was not as he seemed. Yes, Joyce, bad mother alert.

So they call an ambulance, which takes Ted off to the morgue. Joyce tries to cover everything up, telling the police he fell down the stairs, but Buffy speaks up and tells the truth.

The cops take her downtown and start questioning her.

Being questioned police Annex - Tierney, Gene (Laura)_03

She tells them Ted hit her, and she fought back. The police see no marks on her, [as a Slayer she is fast healer], and are very suspicious but let her go home.

At home things are worse. Her mother won’t talk or look at her. And Buffy has to now deal with the fact that she killed a human, she took a human life. She is not a Slayer or protecter, but a murderer. An accidental one, but still a murder.

Reality Sucks

At school things are not better as everyone stares at her. Willow and Xander try to cheer her up. But nothing seems to help.

Sadface Batman

Buffy goes back home, while Willow, Cordelia, and Xander try to find something on Ted. As they are researching in the library, Xander finds some of Ted’s cookies and eats them. He suddenly becomes completely mellow.

That's weird.

That’s weird.

Willow takes the cookies and runs tests on them, discovering that they were tranquilized. Yep, Ted dosed the cookies so he could control everyone around him.

Then they discover an address for him along with a lot of marriage certificates. Marriage…but no divorce…marriages that go back to the 1950s.

The plot thickens

The plot thickens

Back at Buffy’s house, she is trying to talk to her mom, but Joyce isn’t having anything. Buffy goes up to her room, and finds the window nailed shut. And that’s not all she finds…

buffyvampireslayerted

Ted!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But he was dead!

i'mscared

It turns out that he wasn’t dead, but had to “shut down”. He attacks Buffy and begins strangling her.

OMG

Before he can finish, he hears Joyce and runs downstairs.

Back with the rest of the gang, they find the address, but it looks abandoned. Xander breaks in, and as they are looking, Cordelia notices that the carpet doesn’t match. Moving it aside they find a secret passage that leads to an underground house. As they search inside Xander discovers the best evidence against Ted. His four previous wives’ dead bodies.

OMG

Back at the Summer’s house, Joyce is overwhelmed at seeing Ted alive. He explains that he flatlined, but was brought back. He didn’t come sooner as he “didn’t know who he was.” He tries to talk Joyce into running away with him, but every time he speaks it is all mumbled, almost as if he is short circuiting.

That's weird.

That’s weird.

Ted starts spazing out and Buffy comes down, knocking him out with a frying pan.

tangled_____frying_pan_by_disgrace_angel369-d398z19

Poetic Justice if I do say so myself.

When Buffy does that, we have a major reveal. It turns out that Ted was a cyborg!

buffyvampireslayer2-11p2

They call the police

The next day everything is sorted out and it turns out that the real Ted was dying, back in the 1950s. His wife left him, and he built a robot to be his replacement. The robot went and brought his wife back, imprisoning her until her death. When she died he went searching for “his wife”, choosing another girl who looked just like his first wife, marrying her, and locking her up until she died. This continued up until Joyce.

Oooh creepy!

shiver

It might not be what most would choose as an inaugral episode, but it defintely stuck with me as the creepy factor is super high.

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to She Cries in the Night: The Screaming Skull (1958)

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For more Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series), go to Heaven on Earth

For more Buffy Summers, go to I’m the Chosen One…And I Choose to Be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

For more on cyborgs/robots, go to I’ll Be Back: The Terminator (1984)

I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

buffytheVampireslayer1992

Buffy, you’re the guy. You are the chosen guy.

Right. I’m the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping.

 So I’m sure a lot of you are surprised. What Buffy the Vampire Slayer is this? Well before we had this:

Go here to see which you belong in

We had this:

Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer

In 1992, Joss Whedon’s idea of a Californian cheerleader finding out she was actually the vampire slayer of her generation, came to theaters. Only one problem, Whedon HATED it.

HateEverythingthewomen

In fact he hated it so much, that he was reported to walk off set one day and never come back.

ouch Hermione

Five years later, Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series came out, one that stayed true to his “vision”.

So What Went Wrong?

Apparently the screenwriters felt that Whedon’s story was too dark and depressing. They wanted it to be more of a horror-parody comedy, kind of like Heathers with vampires instead of a homicidal maniac. Whedon wasn’t interested in that, as you can tell with his much darker TV series.

Joss Whedon to a T

Joss Whedon to a T

So Is this Film Bad?

Let’s get down to the review and find out:

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

The film starts out with a historical piece. A medieval woman who has the birthmark (a mole), proving she is the Vampire Slayer of this generation. We switch from a very serious moment of her asking to “become the blade”.

BraveheartVictorySwordinAir

And fighting Vampires.

Dracula

And then we switch to Los Angeles and a group of cheerleaders chanting.

vampireslayerbuffy

And Miss Buffy Summers, cheerleader extraordinaire, fashionista, and a total valley girl.

Say What

Yeah, that is pretty much the essence of the movie. They try to pin together opposites. And is it horrible? No. I love it. It is so quirky and funny. And come on, a cheerleader by day and vampire slayer ay night? That’s awesome.

indiana_jonesoh_yesyeah

So as I’m reading the credits and as I have seen this movie before I didn’t think think I would see anything important, but then Paul Reubens…wait, what?!

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Pee-Wee is in a teen film? Pee-Wee Herman is in a vampire film? PEE-WEE?!!! PEE-WEE??!!! PEE-WEE HERMAN is in a TEEN VAMPIRE FILM?

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

How could I have missed that? Huh. And Hilary Swank? Ugh! I hate her. Ever since she ruined the Karate Kid series.

ugh

This was supposed to be her first film, so maybe she won’t be too bad. So Buffy and the gang go to the mall, shopping!

fashion-show-

And there is something you might notice in this scene. While this movie came out in 1992, we hadn’t completely crossed over from the ’80s. You can kind of see it in the stonewash, abundance of leather, and in the “gothic” clothes of the vampire and “uncool” crowd, but most of it looks like this:

80s

And I LOVE IT!

Anyways, so at the mall the girls are shopping when Buffy spots this totally rad jacket. And let me tell you, Buffy has a great sense of style

StyleMarcJacobs

Her friend Kimberly (Hilary Swank), and let me just stop her and say that unless you are a pink ranger, having the name Kimberly means you are EVIL. I don’t know why, it just seems to be a trait that carries on with a name.

you're evil

Anyways, she convinces her that the jacket is ugly and so yesterday.

How rude

When she is not shopping, she spends her time out with her jocky boyfriend, Jeffrey.

Jeffery is on the basketball team and one day after practice, his group splits up. Jeffery is heading over to hang out with Buffy, while two of the other guys go about town, and the last one, Robert heads home. And the route he chooses goes right through an abandoned amusement park.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

Come on dude! You are going to go through an abandoned AMUSEMENT PARK????!!!!!! You are just asking to be killed.

doyouwanttodie

And of course, he gets attacked by a Vampire and turned. Good-bye Robert.

Good-bye

Good-bye

So Jeffery is alright, but not altogether that interesting and handsome. Sorry dude, Luke Perry of the “uncoolness squad” is much better looking.

Luke Perry plays Pike, a leather wearing, motorcycle driving, mechanic. He lies above the garage that he works at. He is very dissatisfied with life him, only having one friend, Bennie (wonder if it is a nickname after the drugs, wouldn’t be surprised if it was), played by David Arquette (aw David, just can’t keep you out of Horrorfest). The boys spend most of their time drinking and making fun of those richer than them.

HateEverythingthewomen

We then jump back to historical times so that we can get more of a background of Lothos. Lothos is the head Vampire that has destroyed every prior slayer. He is over 800 years old and has the power to hypnotize his enemies.

Spoke too soon

So for Buffy everything is going as usual. The only thing she has to worry about is the senior dance.

Buffy: [Trying to come up with an issues-related theme for their school dance] The environment.

Nicole: The homelesses?

Kimberly: [to Nicole] Oh, please.

Jennifer: Are there any good sicknesses that aren’t too depressing?

Buffy: Guys. The environment. I’m telling you, it’s totally key. The earth is in terrible shape, we could all die, and besides, Sting’s doing it.

You know that actually sounds difficult. From being on my high school’s prom comittee, I know that it is already hard enough trying to get the committee to come up with a theme and work on decorations and such. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to throw a “socially conscious” dance.

idon'tgotthis

Buffy & co run into the uncoolness squad and there is definitely one thing this movie did wrong, they made the “undesirable” guys, undesirable. I mean come on, there is a formula to this thing! They are supposed to be secretly charming and adorable. Not pigs and boring because they have zero character development!

Stop stop it now!

Both Pike and Bennie are super drunk and start hitting on the girls, incredibly gross style. Bennie even acts as if he is going to whip out his junk, and Buffy slices it.

escalatedquickly

Turns out it was just a hotdog, but it just goes to show you that Buffy is intense. I would not want to mess with her.

So one night as Benny is going home, he gets attacked by a vampire and turned. He goes to the window and tries to get Pike to come out and join him, but even in his alcohol induced state, Pike can tell something is not right.

Benny: Let me in, Pike. I’m *hungry*!

Pike: Go home, Ben.

Benny: [whining] C’mon I’m hungry.

Pike: You’re floating! C’mon, man, get away from here!

uh-no-gif

Pike can tell that things aren’t right and tries to leave the city, thinking anywhere is better than here. As he is fleeing town, he luckily is saved by a creepy dude.

You look like a pervert but I guess thank you?

You look like a pervert but I guess thank you?

 So life is going good for Buffy, until the same perverted-looking, old, creep comes to kidnap her.

Say What

Nah, it’s actually Donald Sutherland who is Buffy’s watcher, Merrick. But he looks like a pervert and sounds UBER CREEPY. He tells her that he can show her “the birthmark mole of slayer, if he can look on her body”, and “Come with me to the graveyard”.

Gilmore girls creep

Apparently Sutherland thought decided to rewrite his dialogue, I’m not sure which lines but I’m guessing these ones as they suck. He’s creepier than Nicholas Cage in The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

Certified Creepo Ribbon

I mean did he not hear himself? Did he not hear how creepy he SOUNDS?!!!!!!!

The idea to update to a kindly, well-dressed, English, librarian was just perfect.

Music With it Giles Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy still doesn’t believe him. To prove it, Merrick tosses a knife at her and Buffy catches it.

Buffy: You threw a knife at my head!

Merrick: Yes, I had to show you.

Buffy: But… you *threw* a *knife* at my *head.*

Merrick: And you caught it. Only the chosen one could have caught it.

This scene is amazing. This is some Aragorn-awesomness right here.

So Buffy agrees to go down to the graveyard and wait for Robert to come out so she can kill him. Say what you want about this movie, but you have to admit this Buffy is pretty awesome. She’s tough, intense, and extremely brave.

NCISTonyDinozzoAwesome

While they are waiting, Buffy gets bored and asks him for gum.I don’t know why, but that line just cracks me up.

indiana_jonesoh_yesyeah

I think it is because Merrick is all super serious and trying to get Buffy to understand what’s happening, but Buffy is just bored.

Bones David Bored I;m bored boring

Robert awakes and Buffy has to fight and take him down.

Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer

Buffy may come off as a a stupid, silly cheerleader, but she can seriously kick butt. When Merrick gets attacked, Buffy takes out, not one but two Vampires.

Gotcha!

Afterwards, Buffy heads home for some serious relaxing with her boyfriend Jeffrey. There we meet her parents who are so out of it. Like in the film, Heathers, they are just selfish and only into themselves.

Buffy’s Mom: Bye-Bye Bobby!

Jeffrey: Bye! She thinks my name is Bobby?

Buffy: It’s possible she thinks *my* name’s Bobby.

I’m not sure which is worse, to have parents who completely ignore you and don’t seem to care a whit, OR a parent that ignores you most of the time, while punishing you the rest (Joyce Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series).

The plot thickens

So her parents go on their merry way, an Buffy + Jeffery spend the night together.

Mmhm great gatsby

We know what they’re doing

Later that night Buffy awakes to a strange man in her bed.

Say What

As Lothos is wakening, the past lives of Slayers are flooding into her and crossing over to her world. It is a very weird scene and for a while keeps you guessing as to what is real and what is all in her head.

Carnival of Souls Don;y know real

So Buffy and Merrick begin her training. Merrick is really hard on her as they have to make up their years of training. I just wonder who’s fault is that?

Mmhm great gatsby

They never explain why Merrick is just approaching Buffy now either. And since we are on the topic, Merrick sucks! He’s creepy, rude, and mean. He keeps pushing Buffy and blaming her, when she’s still trying to get her head around the fact that her life is completely different.

Buffy: All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die. Now it may not sound too great to a sconehead like you, but I think it’s swell. And you come along and tell me I’m a member of the hairy mole club so you can *throw* things at me?

Oh ’90s. When everyone was in love with Christian Slater. I know I was.

ChristianSlaterHeathers

Sorry for that, moving back on track.

So Buffy is upset with Merrick as he is pushing her too hard and punches him out.

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Buffy is a total knockout, literally as it only took one punch to take Merrick down.

Buffy: Oh, wow. I-I never hit anybody before.

Merrick: Really? Well you did it perfectly.

Buffy: I didn’t even break a nail.

Yep, Buffy is awesome!

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awesome

Merrick gives her some background information on Slayers and Watchers. A slayer is born every generation, being reincarnated when killed (so if you watch the beginning again you’ll notice that Kristy Swanson plays the historical slayer). Merrick trains the girls, watches them die, and then when his life is up he is reincarnated into Merrick the watcher again. A very sad existence if you ask me.

Sadface Batman

After this we get a training montage, Rocky style.

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Yep you always need a montage .

Buffy has accepted everything and gets super into her training. You know it’s actually not that far-fetched that a cheerleader could be this totally awesome fighter. To be a cheerleader you have to do gymnastics, lift weights; it can be INTENSE. And with Buffy, she works hard.

She’s also been hunting at night with Merrick, and one night runs into Pike.

So because of all her training, she’s been missing practices and dance committee meetings. As always in a teen movie, the principal assumes it’s drugs.

Gary: [Thinking Buffy is doing drugs] Hey, there’s nothing to be afraid of! I know where you’re coming from. Believe me. I’ll tell you the truth. I’ve had my drug experiences, too. I did a lot – I did some acid in the Sixties. Well, the late Seventies, actually. It was at a Doobie Brother’s concert… and I could see the music flowing into me, it was bright red and electric, and I felt like a big toaster, and I thought, maybe I am a toaster, we’re all molecules, and my friend Melissa, her head looked like a big party balloon, and that scared me, I started to freak out…

The sad thing is that this is probably the only thing in a teen film that actually resembles reality. When people in power act as if they are a “pal”. Ugh.

2013-11-27-bradpitt friends ugh slap face stupid

So Buffy is really starting to feel the pressure of everything. She has Merrick constantly pushing her to do more and more; otherwise she won’t be ready and die. She has her boyfriend tired of the fact that she can’t spend her time with him, constantly getting mad at her. And she has her friends who don’t understand at all.

Kimberly: Buffy? What’s your sitch? You’re acting like the thing from another tax bracket. It’s too weird.

Buffy: Listen, a lot’s been going on you guys, okay? And I really wanted to talk to you guys about it. See, um, a couple of weeks ago, I met this guy-…

Kimberly: Oh my god, you’re having an affair?

Nicole: Cool!

Jennifer: Does Jeffrey know?

Buffy: It’s not about that. He’s, like, old. He’s fifty.

KimberlyNicoleJennifer: Ewwwww!

Jennifer: Gross!

Buffy: Haven’t you guys noticed what’s been going on here? The strange things? Have you noticed people disappearing, turning up dead?

Nicole: What are you talking about?

Kimberly: Weird? You mean like hanging around with that homeless Poke?

Buffy: Pike.

Nicole: [gasp] Eww, you’re having an affair with him?

Jennifer: He doesn’t look fifty.

Buffy: Guys, I think reality stepped out of here about five minutes ago.

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

Yep, the pressure is mounting and to combat it, she goes Shawn Spencer on Merrick, quipping right and left.

Buffy: Does the word “duh” mean anything to you?

I love how sassy she is.

Mmhm great gatsby

To make everything worse, it looks like Buffy’s period has come.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

but it turns out that it is just her Slayer sense.

No thank youhowaboutno

Man that would suck.

Merrick: And you’re going to be able to use that to track them.

Buffy: Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That’s just terrific. Thanks for telling me.

Merrick: It’s not a weapon. It’s an alert system.

Buffy: Well, aren’t we kung fu? I don’t see you out there killing any vampires.

Merrick: I play my part.

Buffy: You can play with your part all you want, but it’s my neck on the block.

That night Pike is wandering around inebriated. And let me tell you I am totally not digging Luke Perry. He’s cute but that’s not enough. All we’ve seen so far is him getting high, drunk, and be nasty.

ew! Gross Yuck

Now this is where the TV did a better job. Every person had a backstory. I mean when they brought Angel on to the show, they started him mysterious and cool, and then revealed his tragic backstory. We need MORE! We NEED a backstory! We NEED development!

come on

One night Pike is drunk, AGAIN, and gets attacked by vampires. Luckily Merrick and Buffy are there. They save his life, AGAIN. As you have probably figured out, with Buffy being the totally awesome Slayer, Pike is her damsel in distress. I mean it’s not like he doesn’t do anything, he helps Buffy fight, becoming her partner, but still gets into trouble a lot. He’s the Sam Winchester to her Dean.

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After the help him, they defeat Lothos’ right hand man Amilyn, by pulling a Star Wars and cutting off his arm. Amilyn returns to the vampire lair, with the knowledge of Buffy being the Slayer.

Meanwhile, Buffy takes Pike to her home. Pike is homeless (hence the fact that he was working as a mechanic for a home). The thing that really bothers me is that we never find out why. Were his parents horrible and he emancipated himself? Did they die? Is he an orphan? WHAT IS HIS BACKSTORY!!!!!!!!

Sorry about that. Back to the film.

So at Buffy’s home, Pike starts going on how awesome she is, but Buffy is having a hard time keeping it together. She breaks down on and lets out all her feelings.

feelings

And while we haven’t had too much development other than he’s from “the wrong side of town” and a drunk, he just listens to everything she has to say. He doesn’t try to take advantage of her, put the moves on her-nope. All he does is listen.

How romantic

How sweet.

Instantly redeemed.

So the next day, Buffy is back to doing what she normally does. She is trying to hang out with her friends but the spawn of Satan, Kimberly (I’m telling you, don’t name your children that.)

you're evil

Has turned them agaist her. Her boyfriend is also mad and avoiding her.

Reality Sucks

And some football player grabs her for fun.

jerk

But Buffy is not having any of that. She totally takes him down, making him learn his lesson.

Don't mess with me!

Don’t mess with me!

Not kidding, after doing that this is what he says with a straight face: “I see the errors of my ways.” Hilarious & awesome!!!!

And I truly mean it

So something you might have noticed, is that there a quite a few people who have been turned into vampires. It is mostly those on the low side of the totem pole, you know the unpopulars. But there are a few popular kids too. I just wonder how no one has noticed. Well…I guess they do look pretty normal most of the time.

Hmmm....

Hmmm….

So Buffy is going back to her regular schedule as there is a basketball game.

vampireslayerbuffy

They do the cheer “how funky is your chicken, how loose is your goose”. Now years back when I was in middle school and only a select few had cellphones that could not get on the internet, and you couldn’t get on the school computers unless for schoolwork, people came to me with their movie questions. Now I know what you’re thinking:

But it wasn’t like that. Although how AWESOME would that be?????!!!! SUPER AWESOME!!!!!

Anyways you all know how much I love film,

AmericanWerewolfinLondon

Well everyone at school did too. So one of the girls was a cheerleader and they were bringing back the “how funky is your chicken, how loose is your goose” cheer. She knew it was a famous cheer and came to to find out which film it was from. I couldn’t remember the film it was first in, and when I saw this film years later i was like “of course, duh.” Oh well.

oh well

oh well

Anyways, back to the game. So Buffy is cheerleading when she notices something weird. One of the players looks completely different. It turns out that one of the guys has been turned, and as the adreneline starts pumping he starts vamping out.

Dracula

And as he does so, he also starts becoming an awesome basketball player. I guess like in Teen Wolf, becoming something not human increases basketball skills?

Buffy is the only one to realize that he’s a vampire and ends up chasing him down. She finds herself in some weird place which is Lothos hideout. This is the worse place for a lair. I’m not kidding. Like there is a giant horse plant structure, and the whole place is just too obvious to be a secret hideout. Then again this is the most flamboyant Vampire I have ever seen, and he doesn’t care what others think of him.

Favorite Lydia Bennet

Buffy meets Lothos and begins fighting with him, when he puts her in a trance and is about to kill her.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Merrick can’t stand that and interferes. A big watcher NO-NO. Watchers are supposed to train and then watch, no interfering.

And Lothos can’t have that. So he kills him.

Say What

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?????????!!!!!!!!! THEY JUST KILLED THE WATCHER!!!!! CAN THEY DO THAT???

He’s not really dead is he? Is he? He is! He is DEAD???!!! WHAT??!!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED???!!!

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Lothos and his horde leave, while Buffy hears Merrick’s dying words. He tells her she’s special and to d things HER way.

Buffy is shocked at the death and completely heartbroken.

right in the feels broken heart

She sufferes from shock of everything and wants to be done slaying. It scares her and hurts her and she just wants out.

idon'tgotthis

She tries to hang out with her friends, but just finds them shallow and vapid. They are also selfish as they don’t want to invite every senior to the dance. Just the cool ones. She yells at them and takes off.

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

Her boyfriend is still ignoring her as well. She decides she is just going to be a “normal” girl and goes shopping for a dress. While she is searching for the perfect gown, she runs into Pike. The two have a huge fight as Pike can’t believe she is backing out and letting the world down.

Pike: Buffy, you’re the guy. You are the chosen guy.

Buffy: Right. I’m the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping.

Buffy just wants to be in denial as she is too scared. If she fights she will get hypnotized and die, maybe causing the death of others. If she doesn’t fight then Lothos and his group might kill a ton of people. What’s a girl to do.

I don't know what to do

After the two storm off, we discover that Benny has been hiding in the phone booth. He overheard everything and returns to the master to tell him all about it. When the master hears, he is estatic about the party and chooses it to be the best final moment of Buffy’s life.

So while Buffy is getting ready for the dance, Pike has decided to step up to the plate. He returns to his home above the mechanic shop, and grabs every bit of wood he can find, turning them into stakes.

Get ready for this!

Get ready for this!

So while I have complained about his lack of background (and it still bothers me) every scene after the one when he listened to Buffy he has risen up and up in my esteem.

How romantic

How romantic

So Buffy goes to the dance and I absolutely love her outfit. She has her hair back in a no-nonsense bun, a beautiful puffy white dress, and boots. Yes boots.

princesswearsbootscowboycowgirlIt’s as if she subconsciously wanted to be ready in case something should happen.  Her boots are actually white boxing boots

I can look pretty and feminine and kick butt.

I can look pretty and feminine and kick butt.

It’s awesome how hardcore she is.

Take note Hollywood

Take note Hollywood

So she goes over to her boyfriend, to ask why he didn’t pick her up for the dance. And it turns out that since she wasn’t around to give him what he wanted, he broke up with her on her machine and started dating her friend.

Buffy: You left me a message?

Jeffrey: You weren’t home! Like always.

Buffy: You broke up with my machine?

What a loser.

Jerk

Come on, really? That’s so wrong. He’s a loser to the max. And how could her friend date him? That’s breaking the code!

How rude

 The two leave to have sex in the parking lot and Buffy is left all alone. But not for long as Pike comes to the dance, dressed up in a button up shirt, slacks, and his leather jacket.

swoon dreamy

He brings Buffy flowers and asks her to dance with him.

How romantic

How romantic

Okay, just gained 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 points! That was so sweet of him coming to the dance, especially since he’s not into that sort of thing but did it because he knew it would make her happy!

Perfect Boyfriend

The Vampires come to the dance. Pike gives Buffy all his stakes and his jacket, while she rips her dress so it is shorter and doesn’t constrict movement. She runs to warn everyone to close the doors, as if we don’t invite them in they are unable to come. One problem, she forgot about an earlier conversation.

Buffy: Don’t worry. They can’t come in unless they’re invited.

Kimberly: I already invited ’em. [Buffy looks at her] They’re seniors!

Yes, Buffy was being a good person telling her friends to invite all seniors, and unknowingly just caused one huge problem.

clueless mybad oops

Now when the Vampires come in we really reach a horror/comedy pinnacle. A Com-Ror as I like to say. It’s cheesy, but fun.

dean whinchester shrug smile oh well

Except for the Vampire DJ, that was dumb.

No thank youhowaboutno

So the fight begins. Some parts are silly, others creepy. I still haven’t gotten over seeing Pee-Wee Herman as a vicious vampire. It’s just does not compute that this is the same guy.

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Benny tries to convince Pike to turn vampire, and in a bizarre way, channels Christian Slater’s character J.D from Heathers. Talking about people being sheep and this chaos is better, etc. That makes Pike his Winona/Veronica. The only problem is that Benny is nowhere near as hot.

So they kids inside are following Pike and Buffy’s lead trying to take down the vampires, while Buffy heads out to do a throwdown with Lothos.

She takes down Pee-Wee, his right hand man (horrible death scene) and heads down to Lothos. The two fight, with Buffy surprising him with a flame torch made out of hairspray and a cross.

AWESOME!!!

AWESOME!!!

She then stakes him! BUFFY ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

buffythevampireslayer

She and Pike ride off on his motorcycle, as the dumb principal hands out detention slips to the dead vampires:

Gary: [Throwing detention slips on the dead vampires] Detention [Walks to another body]… detention [Walks to another body]… detention. [Throws 2 more slips on the same body. Says quickly]Detention, detention.

And the rest of the group is interviewed about what happened.

TheEnd_Title_2

So How Does It Hold Up?

Some parts of it seem a bit underdeveloped, mainly backstories of the characters. And at times it can be cheesy or silly, but on a whole I loved it.

Say What

Yes, I LOVED IT!!!!! The series on a whole is better, as it has more time to devote to the characters, but this movie was awesome. Buffy is incredible.

buffythevampireslayer

It’s a great film if you are looking for something funny and silly, but with a horror twist.

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1992BUFFYTHEVAMPIRESLAYERD

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to Psycho Strangers: The Girl He Met Online (2014)

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For more on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to Heaven on Earth

For more on vampires, go to Monster Movie: Supernatural (2008)

For more Com-Rors, go to Someone Very Special: The Addams Family Values (1993)

For more David Arquette, go to Don’t F*** with the Original: Scre4m (2011)

What I Like About You: Romance is in the Air, Part III

Romance

Yep Valentine’s Day is coming up and you all know what that means! Romance is in the Air: Part III 14 Days of my Favorite Film Romantic Moment.

girlieButLoveit BuffyVS

So pipe out the sweets

Valentine's candy also doesn't count.

Valentine’s candy also doesn’t count.

And get ready for the romance headed your way.

Valentines

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For 2012’s Valentine’s Day Countdown, Romance is in the Air, go to Boom Box of Love: Say Anything (1989)

For 2013’s Valentine’s Day Countdown, Romance is in the Air: Part II, go to Language of Love: Love Actually (2003)

Heaven on Earth: 13 of the Best Fictional Libraries

ParadiseisaLibrary

So if you’ve been following me, you are pretty aware of my love of libraries.

librarian

A few months back I tried to get a job at Buzzfeed, who won’t let you apply unless you create posts. So as I was racking my brain for something to write about, I decided to do a post on my favorite fictional libraries. After all:

library

Sadly, it didn’t get very much interest on Buzzfeed as I would have liked. So I decided that I would repost it on here.

So here we go, my top 13 Favorite Fictional Libraries.

SheBlindedMeW:SciLibrary

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13) Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

Fahrenheit451

Guy Montag is a fireman in the future, and as a fireman his job is to burn books. Books are now illegal, and it is up to firemen to root out the secret libraries and destroy them. After witnessing a woman willingly burn alive with her library, it gets Guy thinking about what the books contain. It begins with one book, but ends with Guy questioning everything he has ever known.

Why the library is awesome!: So we don’t actually know what is in this library, but if a person is willing to die with it you know it has to hold some amazing things. Even if the books are only valuable to the owner.

For more on Ray Bradbury, go to Friday Night Fun

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12) The Music Man

MusicManLibrary

A conman salesman, “Professor” Harold Hill (Robert Preston),  visits the town of River City, Iowa; and convinces the townspeople that the only way to save their children from becoming bad eggs, is to create a boys’ band. But where to get the instruments? From Professor Harold Hill of course! Marian, the town librarian, is a piano teacher, and the only one who could expose Professor Hill as a fraud, so Professor Hill sets out to seduce her. Along the way Professor Hill changes as he starts to care for the people he plans to con.

Why the library is awesome!: One of the musical numbers is Marian the Librarian in which Professor Hill attempts to seduce Marian by singing and dancing with her around the library. A library in which the librarian and town dance around singing? You get two in one—items to read and a show.

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11) The Cat Who… Series

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The Cat Who…Series is about amazing reporter  Jim “Qwill” Qwilleran who solves murders with the help of his cats. Qwill was a nationally-acclaimed reporter, until he became an alcoholic and lost everything. The first book, The Cat Who Read Backwards, Qwill is trying to put his life back in order and is searching for a job as a reporter. He joins the staff of the Daily Fluxion as a feature writer. After his landlord, the art critic, is killed, Qwill starts investigating with little clues pointed out by his landlord’s cat, Kao K’o Kung (Koko for short). As Qwill continues his investigations he ends up picking up another cat, Yum Yum. In The Cat Who Played Bhrams, Qwill journeys up north to the small town of Mooseville, and visits an old family friend. He ends up inheriting millions, but in order to get them, he has to remain in Moose County. This changes his life forever.

Why the library is awesome!: Qwill is an avid reader and collects as many as he can afford. When he inherits the money, he also receives a stone mansion with a giant library. It holds thousands of books from rare pieces that are worth millions to secondhand and beloved buys.

For more on The Cat Who… Series, go to The Cat Who Wrote A Blog

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10) The Breakfast Club

BreakfastClub

So the movie begins one Saturday morning when five very different students have been sentenced with detention and are stuck with each other. We have Allison Reynolds (Ally Sheedy), “the basket case” who just came for fun; Andrew Clark (Emilio Esteevez), “the athlete”, who recieved detention for bullying a kid; John Bender (Judd Nelson), “the criminal”, sent there because of his acting up in class;  Claire Standish (Molly Ringwald), “the princess”, caught skipping school to go shopping; Brian Johnson (Anthony Michael Hall), “the brain”, who brought a flare gun to school. At first everyone abides by their cliques, but through the course of the day they all bond together sharing their most personal secrets and working out their dysfunctions.

Why the library is awesome!: A gigantic library with multiple levels and a great sound system! Who wouldn’t want to spend their Saturdays there?

For more on The Breakfast Club, go to The Anniversary of Its Formation

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9) My Fair Lady

myfairlady02LibraryHenryHiggins

Based on the play Pygmalion, this musical has Professor Henry Higgins (Rex Harrison) is disgusted with how the English butcher their English. As he is complaining, he runs into a cockney-accented, flower girl Eliza Doolittle (Audrey Hepburn). He makes a bet with his friend Colonel Pickering, that he will be able to teach Eliza how to speak so well that people will mistake her for a duchess. Eliza agrees to the bet as she wants to own a high class flower shop. However, they have their work cut out for them, as Professor Higgins methods are helpful, but extremely rude and harsh.

Why the library is awesome!: Henry Higgins may be rude and a jerk, but this professor has one of the best libraries. Why can’t all libraries be like this?

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8) 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

20000LeaguesUndertheSealibrary

In the late 19th century, something is destroying ships as they are navigating the seas, cutting huge holes in the sides and completely ruining them. Professor Aronnax, a leading marine biologist, theories that the creature destroying the ships may come from the deepest depths of the ocean, which would give it incredible strength. He joins a crew who has set out to destroy it, taking along his assistant. The ship is destroyed; but Professor Aronnax, his assistant, and whaler Ned Land survive. They find themselves on a giant submarine, the Nautilus, joining its creator Captain Nemo on a journey under the sea.

Why the library is awesome!: This library is a masterpiece as Captain Nemo had thousands of books by the greatest minds. His collection covered science, morals, philosophy, and literature-in every language.

Professor Aronnax: “I thank you for having placed this library at my disposal. It contains treasures…and I shall profit by them.”

For more on 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines List

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7) The Mummy (1999)

Librarian themummy1999

In 1290 B.C. Egypt, a high priest Imhotep is caught having an affair with the Pharaoh’s woman. He is put through all the death rites, while still alive, and buried in Hamunaptra. Fast forward to 1932, a French Foreign Legion officer, Rick O’Connell (Brendan Fraser), finds himself in Hamunaptra, but lost in the desert. Three years later, librarian Evie (Rachel Weisz) is approached by her treasure-hunter brother Jonathan, with an artifact that he thinks will lead him to Hamunaptra. They pick up Rick O’Connell as a guide, and find the city. As they search for treasure they discover the mummy, and accidentally awaken him.

Why the library is awesome!: Even though Evie makes a mess, most of us book lovers wouldn’t mind putting the library she worked at back together as it would allow us to check out all those books. Plus it holds a map to a lost city that holds the Book of Life and the Book of the Dead.

For more on The Mummy (1999), go to Part X: The Movie List That Would NOT Die!

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6) Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade

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In this Indiana Jones adventure, Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) is on the search for his dad (Sean Connery) and the Holy Grail. His father had been searching for the artifact and disappeared, causing Indy to pick up the trail. He picks up where his dad left off in Venice with Dr. Elsa Schneider, discovering a clue to the Grail. He continues from there to save his dad on the Austria-Hungary border, and discovers a betrayal stebbing all the way from the Nazis

Why the library is awesome!: You have a library that has spiral staircases, stain glass windows, and secret treasure underneath. How cool is that? It does rest over the graves of dead bodies…BUT you hold a key to finding the Holy Grail! That’s a great tradeoff.

For more on Indiana Jones, go to And Away We Go

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5) The Swan Princess

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Derek and Odette were arranged to be married when they were babies. Every summer Odette and her father would visit Derek and his mother in order to get the two to become friends and hopefully, fall in love. The two dislike each other as they don’t like playing with each other. They reach the marriageable age, but Derek messes up with Odette as he tells her that beauty is the only thing that matters. As he runs after them to make up for his stupidity, Odette is captured by an evil wizard and her father killed. The wizard wants Odette to marry him so he can have her kingdom, but Odette says she will never marry the wizard and is turned into a swan, only to become human when the moon touches the pond. Derek searches for Odette and trains himself to be able to handle it. When Derek discovers Odette, the two have to find a way to save her and change her to human.

Why the library is awesome!: So we only see this library for one scene in the film and it rivals that of Beauty and the Beast. Multiple levels, spiral staircases, and incredibly tall ladders to reach everything.

For more on The Swan Princess, go to You Should Write a Book

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4) Harry Potter Series

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Harry Potter discovers that he is a wizard and goes to Hogwarts School, learning magic spells, potions, and having to fight all kinds of creatures.

Why the library is awesome!: Think of all the magical knowledge within in this place? How awesome would it be to roam these stacks and unlock that. Really explains why Hermione likes to spend so much time there.

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For more on Harry Potter, go to A Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi3) Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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Buffy is a teenage girl that discovers she is a slayer. She’s equipped with certain abilities that allow her to take down all kinds of monsters-demons, vampires, etc.

Why the library is awesome!: You have a library that holds tons of books for school along with almost anything on the supernatural. Not to mention it doubles as a training area that holds all kinds of weapons. What else do you need?

For more on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to Simply Fantastic

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2) The Sandman Chronicles

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The Sandman Chronicles follows the story of the sandman, or Dream. He was captured and imprisoned, but manages to escape after years, and then has to right his dominion and the rest of the world. These series combines Christianity, mythology, Shakespeare, and more.

Why the library is awesome!: The library in Dreaming holds every book ever dreamt of, even those that were never written. How awesome would it be to roam those stacks?

For more on The Sandman Chronicles, go to Dreaming of the Sandman 

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1) Beauty and the Beast

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Belle loves to read and finds it hard to relate to anyone in her town. Her father goes out of town on business and gets lost, staying over at a castle he finds. He upsets the owner and is kept prisoner, that is until Belle offers herself in her father’s place.

Why the library is awesome!: Do I really need to explain how awesome this library is? I’m sure every book lover has fallen in love with it. Multiple levels, spiral staircases, and comfy chairs in front of the fireplace-it’s a dream come true.

Yep:

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For more on Beauty and the Beast, go to You’re Doing It Wrong

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Yep these are some of the greatest libraries ever, and I hope the one I create is even a fraction of these.

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For more on libraries, go to When in Doubt

For more book filled posts, go to Taking in Strays

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Perfectly Imperfect

For more quizzes, go to Fandom Love

In Love With the ’80s (Pink Tux to the Prom)

Music With it Giles Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The music of today sucks. You know what’s awesome, music of the past, things of the past. Things…of the ’80s!

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I love the ’80s. The fashion, the movies, the music…It all is so cool. I would love to go back in time and visit.

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This shouldn’t really surprise any of you out there as I’m constantly going on about it. It also should be no real shock that this is one of my favorite songs:

In love with the 80s Relient K

In Love With the ’80s (Pink Tux to the Prom) by Relient K

I can’t find much information on the creation of the song, but it clearly was created by one who loved the ’80s. I just love the music and lyrics of this piece. In fact my senior prom escort joked about getting a powder blue tux, like the one in Dumb and Dumber and I told him he could wear one like that (I think they are cute), as long as it didn’t clash with my dress. He chose to just go in regular black.

So it was Jeremy in 1983,

In his ocean pacific tee,

Who got a bloody knee,

On his skateboard,

In the halfpipe,

In the backyard,

That tuesday night.

And I’m only gonna pierce my left ear,

And I’ve been working on this mustache all summer long,

And my favorite band will always be tears for fears,

Psych Tears for Fears Shawn Curt Smith

And I’m gonna to wear a pink tux to the prom, a pink tux to the prom.

Cuttin class through the first four windows,

He’s drivin fast because he never did a thing slow,

And I look up to my big bro cuz in the eighties all the ladies grabbed his

hands and couldn’t let go.

And I’m only gonna pierce my left ear,

And I’ve been working on this mustache all summer long,

And my favorite band will always be tears for fears,

And I’m gonna to wear a pink tux to the prom, a pink tux to the prom.

Do, do, do-do, do, do, Pink tux to the prom, [x2]

I am gonna wear, a pink tux to the prom,

Live without a care, what can possibly go wrong.

When you’re the president of the breakfast club,

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And you’re not hesitant to fall in love,

To fall in love with the eighties, to throw it away

to fall in love with the eighties.

I am gonna wear, a pink tux to the prom,

Live without a care, what can possibly go wrong,

I am gonna wear a pink tux to the prom,

Live without a care cause you threw it away to fall in love, with the eighties..

Do, do, do-do, do, do

A great song that I hope my fellow ’80s fans enjoyed as much as me. 🙂

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For more on Relient K, go to Here I Go

For more of my favorite songs, go to The After Party

For more on the ’80s, go to Just a Friendly Reminder

For more on The Breakfast Club, go to The Anniversary of Its Formation

For more on Psych, go to You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat

For more Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to Simply Fantastic