I Can’t Pretend, I Have to Be: Casual Sex? (1988)

Most Romantic Moment #1

So you are probably wondering what am I doing watching this movie, well it wasn’t really the one I wanted. You see I was at Big Lots and they were having a 20% everything sale. That sounded great to me, so I went and looked around. I found a DVD set for $4, of which three were Michael J. Fox films and the other two were ones I had never heard of.

AWESOME!!!

Well you all know how I feel about Michael J. Fox

I love him, so this seemed like a deal too good to pass up.

So my friend and I were watching some of the films, when we decide to check out this one, Casual Sex?, as we both like Lea Thompson.

I have to admit this movie surprised me a lot. It was rated “R” but didn’t really show anything, you know nothing like Game of Thrones, and actually dealt with the issues of sex. How you can get diseases, pregnant, sometimes the person just wants you for the sex, how sometimes you get involved with a person and they turn out to be nothing like you expect; and how hard it can be to meet anyone whether you desire sex or a relationship. It was pretty good.

So the film is about two women, Stacey and Michelle, who have not had the best luck in love.

Stacey is constantly falling for artists, of which she not only changes herself for them but they always leave her in the lurch.

Melissa has only been with two men, and the second one, her ex-fiancé broke up with her as he was “going through a selfish phase.” Ugh, Men.

The girls decide to leave the LA area and head on some kind of getaway in hopes to meet the perfect man.

They decide to head to a health spa in which they meet a variety of possibilities. There is Vinny “the Vin Man” from New Jersey who hits on everybody and is always talking about his “attributes.”

Jamie, one of the spa workers who seems sweet and caring:

Matthew, a psychologist, who is looking for material for his newest book on psycho-sexual tendencies of pre-menopausal females.

And Nick, a fitness instructor who dreams of becoming a rock star.

Will the girls find the man of their dreams? Or will they be disappointed once again?

Most Romantic Moment: From Vin Man to Vincent

So the most romantic moment comes from the most unlikely source, Vincent otherwise known as Vinny or the Vin Man.

Vincent is from New Jersey, a pre Michael “The Situation”. He is gross, annoying, and just doesn’t understand that women are not interested in crudity.

Men

However, as he keeps striking out with the women, one of the spa instructors gives him a book, The Pretend You’re Sensitive Handbook.

He tries it out on Stacey, but as she has her own stuff going on she wants nothing to do with it.

Vinny: Stacy, how nice to see you. Do you have a few minutes? I mean, it occurred to me, I don’t even know where you work.

Stacy: Where I work?

Vinny: Yeah, you know, your career plans, your dreams, your aspirations… I really want to hear all about them.

Stacy: What I want? I don’t even know — ask me what anyone else wants. Give me three seconds, I’ll figure out your whole entire life.

Vinny: Would you maybe want to share something with me about your childhood, perhaps?

Stacy: Vinny, what the hell are you talking about? I’m in a big rush. Look, I have to go talk to Melissa, because if I don’t figure out something about my life soon, I’m going to crack!

Vinny: I respect your strength, Stacy, and I think you’ve got a lot of potential!

After striking out once again, Vinny runs to the spa instructor and tells him that he can’t do this. He can’t pretend, he has to be it. He decides to leave, catching a ride with Stacey to the bus stop. There we see a look at the real Vinny as he asks Stacey for advice. He wants to have a real relationship with a woman; like a friendship but more, but doesn’t know what to do. What do women want?

She doesn’t have the answers and drops him off at the bus station. We think that is the last of him, but then we are given this surprise.

Stacy: [reading] ‘Dear Stacy, I hope you don’t mind me writing to you…

 Yes, Vinny writes Stacy a letter and tells her about how his life has been changing. He wants to be a different person, but no more pretending, he’s going all the way. He starts reading books,

Cooking, changing his wardrobe to more appropriate clothing (and no more super “Vs” showing off the chest,

Giving up all those aspects of the Vin Man and transforming himself, from the inside out, into a new person, Vincent.

The sweetest, most romantic thing about this is that he made all these changes on his own, no “promise of getting the girl”, no other motivation than he wanted to be better and strove for it, turning himself from jerk to heartthrob. And once he feels his change is complete, he travels from Jersey to LA to see Stacy and prove that he is not only a new man, but ready for a real relationship.

What a guy!

For more Valentine’s posts, go to Now That I’ve Met You, I Can’t Imagine Life Without You: Sabrina (1954)

For more ’80s films, go to We’re in the Future: Goodbye 2015

For more Jane Austen quotes, go to We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Be Good to Yourself

Here we are, another song on the “Getting Over a Heartbreak” series:

27) Be Good to Yourself by Journey

This song came out in 1986, and quickly climbed the charts as number 10 on Billboard’s Hot 100. 

Be Good to Yourself was a mantra that lead singer Steve Perry would say over and over. Jonathan Cain, the keyboardist, wrote it down and it later was turned into a song. At the time period, Perry was dealing with home issues and a dying mother. It took them five months to write the complete thing.

The song was written by Perry, Cain, and Neal Schon. This actually saw the leaving of bassiest, Ross Valory and drummer, Steve Smith; replaced by Larrie Londin and Randy Jackson.

I included it in this songlist, as after a breakup, it is always important to remember to be good to yourself. Not only as in taking care of yourself as in making sure that you don’t go off the deep end in letting yourself go. You should also make sure that you are going out, living your life, etc.

Runnin’ out of self-control
Gettin’ close to an overload
Up against a no win situation
Shoulder to shoulder, push and shove
I’m hangin’ up my boxin’ gloves
I’m ready for a long vacation

Be good to yourself when, nobody else will
Oh be good to yourself
You’re walkin’ a high wire, caught in a cross fire
Oh be good to yourself
When you can’t give no more
They want it all but you gotta say no

I’m turnin’ off the noise that makes me crazy
Lookin’ back with no regrets
To forgive is to forget
I want a little piece of mind to turn to

Be good to yourself when, nobody else will

 

To start the series from the beginning, go to If It Means A Lot to You

To go to the previous post, go to Whip It

For more on Journey, go to Don’t Stop Believin’

For more on ’80s songs go to Here I Go Again

For more of my fav songs, go to Highway Star

For more on “Getting Over a Broken Heart”, go to The Lining is Silver

For more on Steve Perry and Jonathan Cain, go to I’ll Be Alright Without You

For more on The Notebook, go to I Love You Anyway

For more of my fav quotes, go to The America I Love

It’s All Jane Austen’s Fault

I blame her for my high expectations of men and obsessions that she caused. I mean the men she created are just tooooo perfect!

Mr. Darcy

The many handsome men who have played Mr. Darcy

So here we have a guy that acts like a total jerk, I mean absolutely awful, but then does a complete 360 when he realizes that he was horrible to the girl he loved. Not only does he do everything he can to change Elizabeth’s opinion of him but does everything he can to help her and her family.

Seriously:

I mean look at how he tells her he loves her (I mean past all the your family is horrible stuff)

 

I admire and love you! So romantic!

So romantic!

 Seriously!

For more on Mr. Darcy, go to Mr. Darcy is a Charmer

Colonel Brandon

Here is a guy who loved a girl and lost her to someone else. He loved her so much he was willing to raise her daughter and treat her as his own. He then falls for another girl and watches her fall for another, less worthy of her, but does nothing but try to be her friend through it all. When she is in trouble he is willing to do anything, risk any storm, travel over many miles all for her.

So romantic!

Seriously:

Yes, you are.

For more on Colonel Brandon, go to Let’s Hear It for the Boys

Mr. Knightly

He’s loved Emma for a while but thinks that she deserves more. So instead of saying anything or doing anything he stays content being her friend and helping her through every mess she throws herself into. I mean he travels through any element to be by Emma’s side; he’s better than the post office.

He also likes her for more than just her beauty and charm as he loves her mind. He’s a man of substance and wants a women who can challenge him and his thinking.

Because he knows her father’s delicate state of mind and that he wouldn’t survive without his daughter around, he gives up living at his house and moves in with her. Can you imagine a wealthy guy who’s been used to having everything his way, give up that independence so that he can make his bride and father-in-law happy? Aw, he is sooooooooo romantic!

For more on Mr. Knightly, go to Obviously You Never Met George Knightly

Mr. Tilney

Here is a guy who threw away his inheritance all for Catherine. He loved her so much, he didn’t care that she wasn’t rich, he didn’t care that he would be cut off; all he cared about was making Catherine his wife.

So romantic!

Yep Mr. Tilney is perfect for me. Not only do I think so but it has been confirmed by Buzzfeed.

Click here to find out who your Austen soulmate is.

For more on Mr. Tilney, go to Storybook Ending

Capt. Wentwoth

So here we have a guy who loved this girl so much and had his heartbroken by her. He thought that she broke up with him because he was poor. He has made a huge success of himself, is rich, but has never forgotten her.

He comes on leave and runs into her. He thinks he is over her, but tries to make her jealous by hanging around with other girls. However, he realizes that he still cares for her and when he finds out that  she didn’t dump him because he was poor, he begins to hope again.

Then doing everything he can to win her back and make her dreams come true.

He writes the most absolutely beautiful “let’g get back together” letter ever imaginable.

For more on Capt. Wentworth, go to A Letter of Love

Guys pay attention:

But I haven’t given up hope! Someday…

Just stay calm

For more on Jane Austen, go to For Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic

For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to How to Catch a Man

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to On the 10th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Emma, go to Take a Chill Pill John Knightly

For more on Northanger Abbey, go to Project Runway

For more on Persuasion, go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more bookish posts, go to The Two Times to Be Over

For more quizzes, go to Viva La Révolution

For more of my favorite quotes, go to But It’s Alright