Pride and Prejudice and Mistletoe

Pride and Prejudice and Mistletoe by Melissa de La Cruz

So my friend gave this to me last year for Christmas, along with Praying with Jane…she knows me so well.

And I have been saving it until this December as it just didn’t feel right posting after Christmas.

I was a bit wary when I saw that the book was to be turned into a Hallmark movie. It could be fantastic…or it could be a horrible cliché.

I figured I’ll start off the month with this book, review the film on 13th, and then review Holiday Mix Tape on December 25th. At least that’s the plan…we will see what happens.

My life motto right there…

So…having read this-sorry ya’ll we are starting this holiday season off with a Scrooge review. I hated this book and thought it was horrible.

**Spoiler Warning**

I will be giving away the end so if you don’t want the end ruined, better leave now.

So I know who Melissa de La Cruz is although I have never read her books before. I do know that she is Filipino-American and I wish she had used that in writing her story. I would have much rather read Pride and Prejudice with the influence of Filipino culture than this.

If this was just a holiday cozy Christmas tale-I probably wouldn’t care-but when they added Jane Austen into the mix-I judge much harsher…

They failed!

So the first thing about this book is that it is gender swapped. Darcy is a 29-year old female and Elizabeth is Luke Bennet. Jane is a younger brother named Jim, and there is a Kit and Lyle instead of Kitty and Lydia. Charlotte Collins instead of William Collins and a Carl (Caroline Bingley?) Darcy also has four brothers (more on that later) and a best friend named Charles Bingley.

I thought you said they were all gender-swapped?

Yes, Charles. Charles is the only one that isn’t gender swapped which makes no sense at all. If you are going to swap everyone else, why exclude him? It is so odd when everyone else is gender-swapped.

So Darcy Fitzwilliam is a beautiful big lipped beauty (not kidding about the lips, the description goes on and on) is 29 and single. She’s afraid of commitment and never wants to be married but tired of hearing everyone saying she is alone and thinking she should be married. She is a:

At least until midway through the book.

Her mother had a heart attack so she heads back to Pemberley, Ohio-her hometown she left and swore never to return to after a horrible break from her family. When she refused to marry Carl (Caroline Bingley ?) her father disowned her.

So first of all problem one-Darcy never had a bad relationship with his father-he greatly admired him. And problem two-having his parents die and him having to be the father to his sister created his character. You ever notice how people who lost a parent/parents and had to take on that roll for younger siblings are always a little more bossy or parental? They tend to tell others what they should do, just as they would for their sibling. Now there is a way to do it without the parents being dead-but it should be a bigger deal with his/her roll in the family. Having Darcy separated doesn’t work at all. Like how is Darcy supposed to take care of Georgiana-or George in this-if they have been separated from their family for EIGHT years-no phone calls, emails, social media, etc. (Except she talks to the mom every now and then.

Speaking of which there is extremely little social media in this book at all which I find completely strange as this was published in 2017.

No social media? She’s 29!

So Darcy has to get a dress and her mom tells her to go to Bloomingdales-now this wouldn’t have registered with me but someone who reviewed the book mentioned that there are no Bloomingdales in Ohio, and I checked online and yes, there are none. So wow-wonder where Darcy got her dress at?

Hmm…

Darcy is an annoying character as she has no personality. Example: she named her lion “Little Lion” and she sees nothing wrong with that as an adult. She can’t even think of a name for her baby at first as she likes to name everything factual. REALLY!!!!! She can’t even think of a name AND WANTS TO CALL HER LITTLE BABY until Luke makes her stop and choose a name.

So back to the story-every year her parents throw a big holiday party and Darcy goes to it and she is upset at everyone being married and talking about families because oh no, Darcy is not about any of that. Really? This was turned into a Hallmark movie-it says on the cover, so all that is a LIE.

I get they are trying to set her up for she fell in love and changed how she felt and everything…but she says that all the time, it is really annoying. And she is rude to all the people who are married and have kids and still live in Pemberley.

At the party she runs into Charles Bingley who she hasn’t seen or spoken to in eight years. Yep, they become best friends again and Charles listen to the advice given to someone who he hasn’t seen in eight years. What kind of logic is that? And they don’t even act like normal people! If I ran into my best friend after EIGHT years we would be gabbing and talking about all we’d been doing and life and here they do none of that. They reminisce for a few minutes and are best pals. But that’s it. No how’s life, no sharing about work or jobs, or anything. Wow-great “best friend” here, she’s too busy talking about how “hot” he is rather than about finding out about who he is.

You are a bad friend.

Bingley runs into Jim (Jane Bennet)-literally and the two are off together. Wow, Bingley has been to every Fitzwilliam Christmas party every year, but oh on this time he’s hit by cupid’s arrow. Why? What? Like why now? There is no explanation and feels contrived.

What?

Darcy gets drunk and runs into Luke Bennet-her hated attractive archenemies. Yes, she goes on about how she hates him but goes on and on describing how hot he is. He is happy to see her and wants to catch up but she just yells about how everyone is jealous of her beauty and being self made and a woman. She goes on a long rant about how much better she is than anyone at the party. She keeps going yelling at Luke about how he is a loser for being a carpenter and staying at his hometown.

WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!

I know…I have no clue what the writer’s were thinking.

Did you EVEN read the book????!!! If not reading the book, DID YOU you even watch the movie???? This is so not Pride and Prejudice. This a train wreck!

Ugh! Really!

This is a horrible book!!! Horrible!!!!

I shouldn’t have read this.

They turn out to be under the mistletoe and even though she’s been a horrible person, Luke decides to kiss her anyway-why I don’t know??! They should stay away from mistletoe though.

I know I spelled it wrong, I cannot spell mistletoe correctly to save my life. (I only caught it in my comment as my computer let me know).

They kiss again, but are interrupted by Carl who comes into the scene. She dumped him, was disowned by her father, and fled to New York-but hooks up with him every now and then.

Why?

Seriously, Mr. Darcy would never do that. He would never drag someone’s hopes on when he isn’t interested. Such a jerky thing to do!

I can’t help but compare this book to the Christmas film 12 Men of Christmas. Like that film isn’t an official Pride and Prejudice film, but did this soooo much better. It had interesting characters, it had a new angle, it was a cute Christmas film-and it did keep to the finer points of the STORY!! Sorry for that rant, but I totally recommend it.

So Darcy meets with Carl for coffee the next day but then even though she 100% does not want to get married, have children, etc-and 100% does not want to marry Carl-she tells him when offered an ultimatum-give me time to think about it. What!!!!!! Seriously!! UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH What is this character. Soooooo annoying. I have had to read page after page about how she doesn’t want marriage or family, or Carl-but instead of cutting him loose “I’ll think about it?” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Darcy talks about how great she us at her job and makes so much money and is so smart, but we never hear or see what she does. Guess she’s not so important.

So Darcy gets invited to Christmas Caroling with Bingley who is in love with Jim. They are going with the Bennets and Darcy meets Kit and Lyle who are demon spawn. Seriously- they are horrible human beings. Like geez-did you read the book?

Did you even read the book!!!

They all go out caroling and we get a rant about how sexist, and against human rights, and against animal rights the 12 Days of Christmas…WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW

WHAT IS THIS BOOK???!!!!!!!

WHAT!!!??

They end up at the Fitzwilliam house where they all get drunk-Darcy gets really drunk, and she and Luke kiss again under the mistletoe.

She wakes up with Luke in her room. They had started to get together last night, but Darcy passed out. WOW such great writing and storytelling. Jane Austen would be so proud-(in case you don’t know I’m being sarcastic!) This is horrid!!!!

Ugh!

Darcy and Luke argue and fight and she’s all I’m better with my money blah, blah-but she gets a call and her deal fell through. But no big deal, it’s like a blimp. Seriously what does she do? Oh that’s not important-she’s just rich and important, that is all we need to know. Bleh, bleh, bleh-this is awful, this is horrible, I hate it.

This book!!!!

Bingley goes on about how he is in love with Jim and prepared to move back to Pemberley and be with him forever…after 2 days. Yes, they have never spoken or spent time with each other before, but after 2 days he’s sure he is the one. Darcy tells him to slow down and YEAH she’s got a point. Dude you have spent 2 days with him, just TWO!!! Like in the original book they have spent more time together and Darcy’s fears came from Jane not showing overt affection, not seeming to be as invested, and of course Jane’s family. Here there is no wiggle room, Darcy is 100% in the right-it has been two days, but they make it seem as if she is being a jerk and selfish when she isn’t. She’s actually being a good friend…for once.

She actually can be a good friend.

She convinces Bingley to break a date with Jim and hang out with her and Bingley agrees, not a bad idea as they have been spending 24/7 together and need to have some space. But instead of Bingley telling him the truth he lies and says he is sick and goes off with Darcy on the town and get caught. So then Jim is mad, understandable, and they’re over. But then Darcy convinces Bigley to pull a Lloyd Dobler and they get back together. Wow, that happened all in a day-such an emotional roller coaster.

At least for this post!

Meanwhile, Luke is engaged!!! He was kissing Darcy and would have slept with her if she hadn’t been drunk and he’s engaged!!!! Everyone in this book is awful!!!!!!!!!! He claims he was on a break-but unlike Ross-he wasn’t!!!!! I’m sorry I really, just really…I CAN’T EVEN!!!

Like this is based on an amazing novel, and this whole things feels like a separate story that was just inputed with names from Jane Austen to capitalize on all us fans. Like this has nothing to do with the book!!!! NOTHING!!!! THIS is HORRIBLE!!! I HATE IT!!!!!!

This book

Darcy is in love with Luke why I don’t know as they have had, what three conversations in three days (most of the conversations being about how great and wonderful Darcy is and Luke sucks)-and shared two kisses. That’s the sum of their relationship. But she’s in love. And looks through her yearbook. Now this gets me. She’s already been mooning over him, why not look up his facebook or instagram. They never spend any time on social media at all-I don’t know any 29 year old who is so free from the siren call of social media.

Read in this case.

So Darcy looks over her yearbook and sees the picture of Luke and admits she’s always been in love with him. WOOOOOOWWWW!!! Really? This is dumb. Because guess what guys even though she is sooooooooo in love with Luke ever since high school she gets engaged and reserves the plaza to a wedding to Carl. What the freak is this?!!! Yes, pages of how she doesn’t love Carl or want to ever be with him an she gets engaged!!!!

Oh and her mother who was on death’s door, is better in like  four days.

No social media? She’s 29!

Then Darcy has three brothers who they all hate her and treat her like crap. Which was not like in the bookokk!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m so angry!

I have to take a break…

I’m done

Okay…so her little brother Will got into Harvard and she’s like whatever no big deal. Now I am not from a wealthy family, if interested I wrote a little about it in Pride, Prejudice, and Personal Statements, so I don’t assume I know what it is like. But I do know from watching Gossip Girl you can’t have someone be a Blair and a Nate. This whole book Darcy has been Blair-I’m great, money, wealth, I have a plan for my life, cares about what people think, cares about where to go and what to do, etc. But then when her brother gets into Harvard-she suddenly becomes like Nate Archibald when he wants to join Carter in giving up everything and backpacking the neighborhood saying screw the inheritance, trust funds, big name schools, etc. You can’t have a character be both.

And Darcy is a horrible older sibling and her younger brothers are all horrible too and the they nothing like Georgiana and Darcy!!! Where is this???!!!

Darcy is engaged to Carl (a mess of her own doing), doesn’t break off the engagement, and goes to the engaged Luke to tell him that she loves him. Really?????????

He calls her names and Darcy heads to NYC. WOOOOOOOOOOOWW!!!!!!!!! So romantic. AWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFULAWFUL

It is so awful!

So Darcy goes back to work where we see is is a horrid boss and her employees dislike her which wasN’T IN THE BOOOOKKKK!!! Did they even read the book? Or see an adaption?? The employees and renters loved Mr. Darcy!  That’s one of the things that fully convinces Elizabeth she was in the wrong-how could anyone be a horrible awful human being but be good to their employees? It’s like people yelling at the waitstaff. You can have someone who seems great-but inside are horrible and treat the waitstaff like crap-but you never have someone who is a horrible human being but treat their waitstaff great.

Darcy dumps Carl in a note and flies home to Pemberley to help out Kit and Lyle Bennet who are demon spawn. Like they should be sent to Juvie. Here is what they have done:

  • Set a trash can on fire
  • Set a classmate’s shoe on fire
  • Set frogs free from the science lab (pass for that)
  • Had drugs
  • Spray painted obscenities
  • Stealing test answers
  • Giving a student a stick-and-poke tattoo
  • Physical fights with students and faculty

If they were in school with my kid, just because some rich girl paid off the principal I’d be furious. They are horrible.

And one their names are Kit and Lyle

Darcy does the good deed of helping them and keeping them in school instead of juvie, which is a horrible idea, and then she collapses.

She ends up in the hospital as she was dehydrated. And in like two pages (15 mins) all the issues between Dacry and her father solved. Oh he cut her off because he was afraid she would be hurt in New York and never come back. He’s been mean to her because he doesn’t know how to tell her he loves her. Oh wow. …..yeah this is dumb.

Read in this case.

Darcy gets healed and she’s invited to Charlotte and Luke’s wedding rehearsal (why as they aren’t friends) and she decides to go, no ones there and the two are together.

So back it up, it has been like five days-they have had four conversations

  1. Darcy dunk at the party-talking about herself and insulting Luke
  2. Christmas Carols where they hardly speak at all
  3. The morning after Christmas caroling-Darcy insulting Luke and talking about herself
  4. Darcy admitting she loves Luke and Luke insulting her

As you can see most of these are Darcy talking about how Luke sucks, and most of Luke’s conversations are calling Darcy a snob and other names…but oh no they are in love.

Seriously!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sorry, I am not a writer-I know it’s not my talent, and I really can’t say I could do better but this sucks.

In the end Luke and Darcy get married and have a daughter, move to New York. It never says what Luke does but I assume Darcy keeps working at her job even though she lost the biggest deal, the biggest deal that turned out to not be a  big deal. Whatever.

I know…I have no clue what the writer was thinking.

This is awful and I’m glad its over. I’m sooo done…

So will the movie be as bad? I watched the trailer and it looks like they actually spend some time together so there is hope…but we shall see…

Pass on it!

For more Pride and Prejudice, go to Drive Me Crazy: Austentatious (2015)

For more Pride and Prejudice book adaptations, go to Pride, Prejudice, and Personal Statements

Desire & Decorum: Chapter 6, An Intimate Affair

 

So in the last episode your father made you his heir and gave you a London season! You and Miss Parsons traveled to London, you on your own horse,

Only to have Mr. Marcastle plot against you and try and keep you from arriving. You make it out okay and meet a Prince. 

You confront Mr. Marcastle angry that he treated you that way, Miss Parsons agreeing with you in her anger. The two of you manage to scare the daylights out of him.

Miss Parsons leaves to go to her sister’s house, as they are expecting her, while you return to your father’s townhouse and spot your friend and ladies’ maid Briar canoodling with Mr. Marcastle.

Forget you!

Now Mr. Marcastle is your evil engaged (as in very not single) stepbrother trying to sully your reputation and Briar was your best friend from back home. But is she really your friend as she is trying to have a relationship with Mr. Marcastle, your enemy!

This is soooooooooooooooooooooo bad for you. Can you imagine the kind of reputation you will get when this comes out.

And Briar what are you thinking? He’s evil! He’s plotting against me!!!! You are suppose to distrust him not jump him!!!! You are a bad friend.

See Hook agrees with me.

Plus he is engaged!

C’mon Briar, you are smarter than that!

So I am going to Mr. Sinclaire’s tonight for a dinner party, so Miss Sutton and I go shopping. I decided to buy the dress as I want to impress Mr. Sinclaire.

And I have to say out of any clothing purchase I have made this one does affect the game. Mr. Sinclaire sees me in my red dress and can’t look away.

He compliments me in front of Miss Holloway.

What?

Ugh, Miss Holloway is just as bad as Caroline Bingley. She keeps trying to make fun of me and drag me down, but is struck down by Mr. Sinclaire’s compliments. Very reminiscent of a certain scene:

Boom, shut up Miss Holloway/Miss Bingley.

Miss Holloway tries to make you seem an illiterate buffoon, but Mr. Sinclaire comes to your aid. He also takes you to his extensive library…

Hold up- Stop right there.

He’s perfect I’ve decided-he’s the man for me. You know me:

He then pulls a book off the shelf and reads a page to me, it is William Shakespeare’s book of sonnets, Sonnet 18:

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimmed;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,

Nor shall death brag thou wand’rest in his shade,

When in eternal lines to Time thou grow’st.

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

After he reads to you, he offers you the book. It costs 15 diamonds, but I don’t care, you know me:

It looks like I just have one thing left to get-Painting, maybe?

Miss Holloway makes a snide comment about your birth and then the Duke storms in-uninvited.

Ugh, I hate this dude. I hate people who do that-just show up uninvited and expect others to accommodate them. Such jerks.

Then not only does he do that but muscles his way next to me-no I don’t want him to like me-ugh!

This upsets the table with Mr. Chambers having to sit next to a man instead of a woman. Table settings are super important- remember A Change if Fortune

“Custom, however, has lately introduced a new mode of seating. A gentleman and a lady fitting alternately round the table, and this, for the better convenience of a lady’s being attended to, and served by the gentleman next to her. But notwithstanding this promiscuous seating, the ladies, whether above or below, are to be served in order, according to their rank or age, and after them the gentlemen, in the same manner. – John Trusler, p 6 from Regency Manners: Seating at Table at janeaustensworld.wordpress.com

Mr. Chambers doesn’t really care as he’s gay and is next to a very interested member of the party.

After dinner, you all go off to the drawing room. Mr. Sinclaire and you meet up aside from the others and he warns you off Duke Richards. Why does he dislike him so? And why is he so interested in who you might marry?

Mr. Sinclaire becomes so furious with the Duke he takes off on an errand…you have the option to follow. What do you do?

I followed him outside even though that wasn’t really acceptable in Regency time. It turns out that Mr. Sinclaire had an unfaithful wife, one that became involved with Duke Richards. It is very Rebecca:

Oh my gosh! Duke Richards totally makes me think of Jack Favell

The two of you have a heart to heart, Mr. Sinclaire baring his soul to you. He worries that maybe I would have been better off in the village then the shark infested society. But we still enjoy our time together.

Afterwards we go inside and join the party. They ask me to play and I blow them all away, thanks to the lessons by Miss Parsons.

 

The party ends later, you saying a fond farewell to Mr. Sinclaire.

The next morning you are awoken by Miss Parsons and Briar. You’ve been invited to the Opera St. James. The Opera St James!!! That’s where your mother used to perform!!! Will the night be fun…or a flop?

For more Desire & Decorum, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 5, The Road to London

For more on Choices, go to Kissing the Blarney Stone: 7 More Irish Heroes

For more on William Shakespeare, go to Dangerous to Know: Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues

Non-Austen Reads for Austen Readers: A Love for Keeps

What to do after you have read all the Austen novels.

Hmm…

There are variations on her stories, but sometimes you don’t want to read the same story. You want Austen-like works, but what to read or watch?

Just sit around and do nothing?

That’s why I started this series. I will review other books that have things we love about the Austen novels, but are something fresh, rather than a retelling.

A Love for Keeps (Brides of Arkansas #1) by Janet Lee Barton

This book takes place in Eureka Springs, Arkansas- year 1886 (70 years past Regency England). Megan Snow is the eldest of the three Snow daughters and with the death of their father, has tried to find a way to take care of her family. She has been approaching different banks in the hope of getting a loan in order to start her own dressmaking and designing building. Unfortunately, she has struck zero.

Please let someone say yes!

They approach the last bank, Connors Bank, in which the handsome and charming bank manager, Mr. Nathan Brooks, takes a chance on them. Mr. Nathan finds the Snow family to be very charming, and talented as Megan creates an amazing series of outfits for his daughter.

The two strike up a lot of conversations and Nathan finds himself drawn to Megan.

What?

But Nathan has a sad past…his wife was killed in a fire and his daughter managed to just barely escape-being saved by his sister-in-law. He feels heavy guilt, as he was not there to save his wife. He has remained single due to this, but now is starting to open his heart.

There is more complications to this story as Abigail Conners, Nathan’s sister-in-law, is deeply in love with him. She has been when she first met him, far before he married her younger sister Rose.

Ever since the fire she has always felt it is her time, her chance-but unfortunately Nathan has continued to grieve. Now, to her delight, he is willing to consider marrying again, but at her chagrin-he is interested in Megan Snow! A dressmaker? A Merchant? Someone below their station? NOT ABIGAIL!!!

While Nathan tries to woo Megan, Abigail tries her best to dissuade Megan-pulling every plan in her arsenal to convince Megan she is not capable of becoming the next Mrs. Brooks.

As you can see this has quite a few elements of the Austen stories and characters for those who are fans. We have a great romantic character-with a sad heartbreaking backstory (making him even more romantic) like Colonel Brandon from Sense and Sensibility or Captain James Benwick from Persuasion.

We have a lot of Pride and Prejudice as Nathan and Megan have a romance that crosses the social line-although the class system was much different in England than America.

Unacceptable

And of course the number one thing, Abigail could be Caroline Bingley’s twin. The two are so similar in their scheming to get the man they love-from clothes to catch his eye, lying about things and engagements to dissuade the women, and any other scheme they can to get the guy to look and choose them over their rival.

Nathan, you cannot be serious

A fun, clean, quick read that gives Austenian elements we love in a new story.

For more Non-Austen Reads for Austen Readers, go to Book Club Picks: Wuthering Heights

Pride & Prejudice: A Latter Day Comedy

Pride & Prejudice: A Latter-Day Comedy

So you know how I want to review everything Pride & Prejudice or has a connection to Jane Austen.

I watched this the other day with my boyfriend and I felt it was:

So the story is a modern day version of Pride and Prejudice set in 2000’s Utah. And yes the characters are Morman. Get it, a Latter-Day comedy, as in Latter-Day saints?

There isn’t too much Mormon stuff in it though, just that they go to church and the way they dress-little things like that. There had been more, but they cut it to make it open to more people.

The ladies of Pride & Prejudice are not all related in this version, but they all are roommates in a home owned by Lydia’s father. Jane Vasquez is from Argentina and a beautiful, wild free-spirit–who I don’t know what she does, they never say. Elizabeth Bennet is studious, smart, and a feminist. She is in graduate school (studying Jane Austen), writing novels and submitting them, and working at the local bookstore. Mary is nerdy, socially awkward, and trying to snag William Collins-but failing. Lydia and Kitty Meryton are sisters who only care about their appearance and trying to catch a wealthy man.

Jane, Elizabeth, Lydia, and Kitty. Mary is not pictured.

I didn’t really care for any of the girls depictions as they just seemed so fake and unreal. The only one who seemed to be anything like the original character was Lydia.

So Elizabeth meets Darcy at her job, and is is a total jerk. He makes fun of her and complains about her to her boss.

What a jerk

Charles Bingley is a complete moron. Like how has he even managed to live this far in his life?

I mean he has a line of classical music for dogs to help train them.

Wow

His sister Caroline is a total drama queen, who is trying to do all she can to catch Will Darcy. She does not like Elizabeth or Jane.

Everything is pretty similar to the novel, William Collins tries to get with Elizabeth, but she turns him down.

In this though he gives a super embarrassing sermon about how awful Elizabeth is for rejecting him on the pulpit.

One major change is that happens in this film is that Jack Wickham and Elizabeth used to date.

He keeps trying to get with her but she is on-the-fence about whether or not she wants to go down that road. He can be sweet and romantic, but it is clear that his real interest is sex, something Elizabeth is not interested in until marriage.

He does offer to take her to Vegas so they can marry, but Elizabeth is not interested.

So conflict arises when Charles takes off on Jane breaking her heart.

Elizabeth has a company interested in one of her novels but it turns out to be Will Darcy!

Yep, obvious. He likes her novel but thinks she needs to change a lot of stuff. This of course upsets Elizabeth.

She accuses Darcy of lots of things and takes off. She of course gets a letter which reveals that Collins was seen proposing to Jane by Charles, so he thought they were together. Darcy apoligizes for his behavior and then explains what Jack did to his sister-running off with her and getting married in Vegas when he still married to someone else.

Elizabeth and Jane both feel bad and they just munch their feelings away.

I’m going to hide under the covers with my ice cream

This upsets Lydia and Kitty who decide it is time to take matters into his own hands and get the girls up and at the market. But things don’t go as planned.

Lydia Merylon: Oh, this is just great girls. Here we’ve just spent 20 minutes picking out the perfect array of romantic items, and what do we come back to find? Two kegs of ice cream, pills for cramping, pills for bloating, and six super size boxes of Tampax? Why don’t we just put up a big neon sign that says, “Men, run for your lives! Menstruating monsters approaching!”

Jane and Elizabeth decide they are going to head out to the woods to clear their heads.

On the way they run into Charles, and Jane takes off. Elizabeth continues, gets lost and ends up in Darcy’s cabin. They talk and Elizabeth meets Georgina and Caroline tricks Elizabeth into thinking that Darcy and her are engaged to be married.

Then things get worse with Lydia running off to marry Wickham and everyone hurries to fine her with Darcy doing the one thing we all want.

So yeah, not that good. It had all these weird dream sequences/imagination thing that made no sense and was super confusing.

Help me! I’m confused!

 I didn’t like the actors chosen or the direction the film went in.

It was boring and I do not recommend it.

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Prude & Prejudice

For more Pride & Prejudice variations, go to Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife: Pride and Prejudice Continues

For more films based on Jane Austen, go to TO the Person Who Hated My Review of Emma (1996) AKA the Kate Beckinsale Version

For more Jane Austen variations, go to A Long Fatal Love Chase

For more Jane Austen quotes, go to You Can’t Hurry Love

Prom & Prejudice

psychPromjulietshawn

Prom.

Some of us loved it,

Some of us hated it.

Whether we planned for it

Or ignored it,

it is something that every person in public school in the United States encounters in their lifetime.

It’s true.

For me, I enjoyed prom. I tried to spend as little money as possible on everything and did extremely well. I had a beautiful blue gown, cost $2.50 at a thrift store sale, $8 to get it dry cleaned.

Oh yeah!

My shoes? Beautiful silver heels, extremely comfortable, and free-with the purchase of a bracelet for $8 (Kohl’s cash buy something $8-10, get something $8-10 free).

I like it.

Make-up? Free, my sister did it.

Yep!

Hair? Only $16 as I knew a hairstylist.

Limo? Free, my friend’s date father owned a limousine rental.

Sweet!

Dinner? Free, my friend had coupon that covered everything.

Awesome!

The most expensive thing? $25 tickets. So a total of $59.50, not bad.

But we don’t want to just hear about my experience. Oh no, this is a book review post:

Promandprejudice

Prom & Prejudice by Elizabeth Eulberg

**Contains Spoilers**

Yes, if we go through prom, why not the Austen characters? (Or at least Pride & Prejudice Austen characters.)

promaustenmodernday

In Eulberg’s book Jane, Elizabeth, Lydia, Caroline, Mr. Darcy, Charlotte, Mr. Collins, and Mr. Bingley all get an opportunity to go to prom.

Why not?

This book came out when I was a young adult and I just happened on to it accidentally, started reading and LOVED it! In fact I think it is one of the best modern adaptions.

Elizabeth “Lizzie” Bennet is a scholarship student at the elite prep school, Longbourn. She was recruited for her musical talent, as she is an accomplished piano player.

07_animpianoorganmusicplayingcreepycarnivalofsouls

Sadly, piano playing is the only nice thing about being there at the school. Everyone treats her horribly as they want her to “know her place.” They dump drinks on her, call her names, give her the wrong room when she asks for directions, etc.

HateYou

She does have two friends in the school, one is a fellow scholarship student, Charlotte, and the other is the incredibly nice Jane.

So Lizzie has just returned from Hoboken, New Jersey to the school from winter break. While she is thinking about the spring concert and her studies; every other girl at Longbourn and every boy at Pemberley (school for boys) have only one thing on the brain: prom.

To not have a date would be the biggest faux pas; so all are prepping and conniving to have the best date.

While Jane is excited for prom, she is also thrilled that Charles Bingley will be returning from England where he spent the previous semester. Before he left the two had been heading toward something, and spent the whole summer emailing and writing; so Jane is eager to see if they  will become more.

 At the welcome back dance Lizzie is pleased to meet Charles as he is extremely nice and appears to be perfect for her friend Jane. Unfortunately, his twin sister Caroline is a real jerk.

Charles also brought his best friend Will Darcy, who is attractive and seems like a good guy, that is until he finds out Elizabeth is a scholarship student and just takes off, major diss.

What a jerk

Later she overhears him saying how he spent a year in London to try and get away from those kinds of people.

Ugh

Elizabeth tries to leave, but is stopped by Colin Williams (Mr. Collins) the only other person nice to her and the most boring person she has ever met.

Blah, blah

Oh, Mr. Collins:

While her way at school is paid, she still needs money to fund everything else and works at the local coffee shop as a barista. She runs into Darcy there, but the fate is sealed. She is not going to like him for anything.

Charles invites Jane and Lizzie to come with him, Caroline, and Darcy as they are headed to Vermont to ski. Lizzie agrees to support Jane although she has no clue about skiing. She decides to just wait inside playing the steinway (piano), doing homework, and sipping hot tea.

The next day everyone heads out to the slopes while Lizzie decides to head to the bookstore to pick up a book for school. Darcy offers her a ride, but Lizzie doesn’t want help. She finally agrees and the two talk on the drive. Darcy doesn’t get why she is being so snobby and down about school, while Lizzie lets everything out about how people are treating her.

That night things go a bit sour as Charles is taking Jane out and Lizzie is to be stuck at the house with her two favorite people, Caroline and Darcy.

Those guys

Darcy isn’t so bad, but Elizabeth Lizzie has to be there while Caroline tries to impress him. She starts with commenting on his email writing, then doing yoga moves, etc. The conversation moves to involve only Lizzie and Darcy, but Caroline doesn’t like that.

They all return to school, and in Lizzie’s case work, and things are back to normal. However, Lizzie meets George “Wick” Wickham who is handsome, charming, and hates Longbourn and Pemberley as much as she does. Wick tells her that Darcy and he became very good friends, but when Darcy’s father was paying too close attention to him Darcy got jealous and had him kicked out.

Charles is having a party and invites all kinds of people. Jane and Lizzie are going of course, and because Jane is going, her sister Lydia squeezes her way in. Jane’s father recently lost his job and that has downgraded her status at the school. It doesn’t help that Lydia is all kids of crazy and embarrassing and can’t stop about prom or boys.

If only she followed this advice.

Wick was supposed to come to the party but changed his mind, leaving Lizzie sad and upset as she wanted to spend the time with him. However, Darcy pays quite a bit attention to her and even asks her to dance.

The night ends even worse with nonstop attention from Colin, Lydia doing a bad dance/rockette/cheerleader routine, and her coat getting stolen. Could things get worse?

The next day things get even worse, as Colin asks her to prom and doesn’t want to take no for an answer. He then insults her and says that she will have no one else ask her poverty-stricken patootie (I added that).

When Elizabeth gets home, she is surprised with a new coat. Life seem to be brightening up, but then the dark cloud comes back as Charles just breaks off contact with Jane as “things came up.”

Two weeks pass and no Charles. He just drops off the face of the earth and poor Jane is heartbroken.

Noooo!

To add to that, it turns out that Wick didn’t consider he and Lizzie a couple, but has been dating a wealthy Longbourn girl who’s family has great connections. What a jerk!

But strangely enough, who should come every day to the coffee shop? Mr Darcy. And not only does he see her every day bit he leaves a big tip.

One day as she was walking, she runs into him and his cousin Fitzpatrick, and discovers that he broke up his friend’s relationship as the girl wasn’t right. Lizzie hooks on that it must be Jane and Charles. She is furious!

She tells Darcy her hours and hopes that he will avoid her. It is the opposite as Darcy seens to come more than ever.

And out of nowhere he drops the bomb:

And he asks her to prom. Elizabeth Lizzie’s reaction?

She is furious with him for Jane, Charles, Wick, Longbourn, everything!

She goes to write an email to her New Jersey friends, but finds one from Darcy instead! His letter contains the following:

  1. He’s had scholarship kids in the past try and get things from him-money, connections, social status, etc.-so now he avoids them. He’s sorry to have been so rude to Elizabeth, but that has became his instant reaction.
  2. He wasn’t the one who really pushed Jane and Charles apart, although he didn’t try and have them be together either.
  3. The guy and girl he was talking about? It was Colin who wanted to ask Lizzie out again and Darcy thought it was a bad idea.
  4. He had Wick kicked out of school because of two reasons:
    1. He got Darcy’s young sister, Georgiana drunk to try to get her to have sex with him.
    2. He broke into their house and stole a bunch of things.

Elizabeth realizes that she thought Darcy was the prejudiced and prideful one, but it turns out that she was as well. Because he was rich she thought the worse of him, and because he hurt her pride she was willing to believe anything horrible that was said of him.

They both are.

Things get weirder as it turns out that Wick and Lydia are “together”.

I guess his rich girlfriend didn’t work out.

Lizzie sees this and is horrified as she now knows that Wick is a sexual predator, looking for young, freshmen girls. She goes to Jane and lets everything out. She is just as shocked when she hears it all.

They keep a tight leash on Lydia and argue whether or not to reveal what happened to Darcy’s sister to keep Lydia away from Wickham. They decide to wait as it isn’t their story to tell.

They are both pleasantly surprised when Charles comes with a bouquet and begs Jane’s forgiveness. And as she is so sweet and adorable, she forgives him.

 Midterms end and Lizzie heads home for break, but she gets an even better surprise. Her piano teacher, Mrs. Gardiner, gives her two tickets to see her favorite pianist, Claudia Reynolds.

When Lizzie and her mother go to the concert they are thrilled with the amazing music, and Elizabeth is floored when she discovers that Claudia Reynolds is Darcy’s mother.

She meets Darcy in his own setting and sees all pretense gone. She also meets his adorable sister and sees how cute their little family is.

The have a great time and even make plans for Darcy and Georgiana to visit her in New Jersey. Their fun trip is cut short when Lydia goes missing with Wick and Lizzie and Darcy set out to find her.

Darcy goes through everywhere that Wick would want to stay at and finds the two utterly wasted in a trashed hotel room. He uses his father’s money and influence to remove Wick and settle the bill.

The rest of the break is uneventful and quiet, with no calls from Darcy. It seems that now that she wants him, nothing is heard from him. Don’t you just hate that? When they return to school Charles has a big dinner party for their friends, but Darcy doesn’t sit with Elizabeth Lizzie or talk to her, no matter how hard she tries to get his attention.

Soon Lizzie’s recital comes up and she rocks (figuratively). Afterwards Darcy asks her out, telling her he was waiting as he didn’t want to break her concentration.

Aw!

However, they will not be going to prom but be going out to enjoy their night together.

I loved this book.

Even though they didn’t follow the book exactly I thought Eulberg was able to capture the life of the characters and bring across what Jane wanted.

The only thing I din’t like was Darcy didn’t take her to prom. Come on, you guys could have just dressed casual or not spent a lot of money. I mean seriously.

Totally!

But there is something that really surprised me. I spotted this in the acknowledgements:

“I’d especially like to thank Stephanie Meyer for being so enthusiastic for my writer life and having that conversation about Pride and Prejudice that led me to the idea for this book.

Stephanie Meyer?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Stephanie Meyer who wrote Twilight?

The horror!

I can’t believe I have to thank her for something good!

Well that aside, it is a fantastic book and I recommend it for any Austen fan.

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Brought Shame and Scandal to Pemberley: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode Two (2013)

For more Pride & Prejudice variations, go to Suspense & Sensibility (Or First Impressions Revisited)

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to For Darkness Shows the Stars

For more Jane Austen quotes, go to Perfectea, A Perfect Cup of Tea or Tea for Two

For more on prom, go to Oh What A Night

Suspense & Sensibility (Or First Impressions Revisited)

Suspense and Sensibility (Or First Impressions Revisited) by Carrie Bebris

So a while back I reviewed a Jane Austen mystery, Pride and Prescience (Or a Truth Universally Acknowledged).  I enjoyed  the first book, although I did solve the mystery quickly, but it was very well written and worth reading.

So while the first book focused only on Pride & Prejudice characters (and ones she made up) this one combines P&P with Sense and Sensibility.

A mashup

Sense and Sensibility actually takes place in the 1790s, twenty years before Pride and Prejudice. All the characters have been aged accordingly so they match up with the Pride and Prejudice ones. It can be a bit confusing when the characters are no longer how they were in their book.  To make it less confusing, I will give a brief reminder of the plot of Sense & Sensibility.

So the Dashwood family:

The estate of Norland belongs to Old Mr. Dashwood. When he was sick he was visited by his family and found young Henry Dashwood, John’s son, to be just so adorable that he entailed it to the men in his family. After he died Mr. Henry Dashwood, the elder, ended up dying and the estate passed over his second wife and daughters going to his son John, (which would ultimately go to his son, young Henry.)

John promised his father to help his sisters, but with an ambitious wife; that quickly ended.

John’s wife is horrible, just evil. Fanny, the demon wife, convinces John to give no money to the sisters as they really “are not his siblings”. She then rearranges the whole household and makes life unbearable for all.

John also has an incredibly bratty son, Henry:

When Fanny’s brother visits, she sees that he and Elinor like each other, but as Elinor is too poor for her soon to be wealthy brother Edward, she ends that immediately. The second Dashwood family all move from their home to renting out Barton’s Cottage, owned by Sir John Middleton, Mrs. Dashwood’s cousin.

They spend a lot of time with Sir John, as he constantly invites them over so that they can eat well, as money is extremely tight. Eventually after all kinds of twists and turns, the two eldest girls marry the men of their dreams and the story ends happily. If you haven’t read it you should.

**Spoilers**

So Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth, Georgiana, and Kitty are all heading to London for a “London Season” as they are husband hunting for Kitty. They are invited to Sir John’s where they meet him and his wife (sadly I think Mrs. Jennings the mother-in-law has passed on) and their now adult children. Also there is the young Mr. Henry Dashwood, who is now no longer a boy, but a young man in his twenties. He meets Kitty and immediately finds her to be a fantastic partner, good conversationalist, and all around enjoys her company.

Only one problem, he thought she was Georgiana Darcy.

The next day it seems as if all the men were only interested in Georgiana, not Kitty, as she is going to bring an extremely large dowry.

Except for Mr. Henry Dashwood. After he discovered his blunder, he still spent the night with Kitty and fell for her. That works perfectly with Kitty as she has fallen head over heels for him.

While everyone finds him agreeable, and Elizabeth definitely thinks that he will be a good match for Kitty; Mr. Darcy thinks of him as a fop and a dandy wanting Kitty with someone who has more brains.

He goes to talk to Henry, and discovers that his lack of business isn’t from him not caring, but from not being instructed on how to run an estate. It turns out that his parents sent him away to school immediately and he has spent hardly any time with family or at Norland. However, he is eager to learn and Darcy soon takes him under his wing.

Henry has won over the whole family, but soon Fanny arrives to meet Kitty.

Here I am!

Fanny does not like Kitty as she is too poor and would rather spear Georgiana with her impressive dowry. But Henry will not be deterred, as he invites them to his 21st birthday and proposes to Kitty.

Everything seems to be going well, until Henry finds an old strange mirror and a painting of his notorious great-great uncle Sir Francis Dashwood. Soon after Henry starts acting completely different-gambling nonstop, drinking, carousing with all women (married and single of every class). What could have happened to him to make him so much worse than his nefarious relation? Could he be possessed?

So what did I think? Did I like it?

No

I thought this book ran into a few problems and wasn’t as good as the first one.

1) Henry Dashwod was too likable.

So when you read Sense and Sensibility, you don’t like Henry. He is a total brat and completely annoying.

But in this book they made him tooo likable. This caused problems as that reading about his possession made it sad because you knew it wasn’t him, and this poor guy has lost everything.

Secondly, because he is so likable, you know that he isn’t the one doing all these horrible things and that something has caused him to have a personality shift. It wasn’t a real mystery, like in the first novel, as you weren’t sure if Caroline was hypnotized or going insane.

2) No Mystery

In the first book, Caroline starts acting weird after she was married. This makes us wonder is someone making her act this way like in Gaslight or is she actually going crazy?

Crazy eyes

Secondly, there are a multitude of suspects:

  1. Mr. Kendall– He could be trying to kill the Bingleys because of the money he feels that he has been cheated out of. He also could be trying to get rid of Caroline because of his daughter being thrown over. Remember, his daughter was with Caroline when her horse bolted.
  2. Mr. Hurst– If his debts are as extremely high as Elizabeth suspects, he might be trying to kill his relations off for money.
  3. Professor Randolph– Professor Randolph has been drifting from place to place as most don’t feel his studies are legitimate. Now that Caroline is crazy, he has room and board as the prime caretaker for Caroline. Maybe he is making her seem crazy, and could even be trying to make it look as if she set the fire, to only further cement Mr. Parrish’s need of him.
  4.  Mr. Parrish- He only married Caroline for her money and is trying to remove her from the picture. He is supposed to be extremely wealthy, but for some people what they have is never enough. Besides, he could be lying about how wealthy he is, or have hidden debt that they don’t know about.

In this however, we immediately know that Henry is being possessed as the writer gives it away in the beginning introduction and the back of the novel. Instead we are just waiting for events to unfold.

Yeah, I don’t like those kind of mysteries. That’s how Death Comes to Pemberley was (the book, not the TV miniseries. The miniseries is better.)

3) Hardly Any Elinor, Marianne, Colonel Brandon, or Edward In It

I’m sorry but I don’t know why they were missing so much in this novel. We LOVE this characters so if we are reading something to so with Sense and Sensibility we want to have then in the book. It was a crime to not have very much of them.

4) Supernatural Seems Like an Afterthought

This is a supernatural mystery (not Supernatural) but it takes a long time for the characters to reach that point and even evoke in anything. Professor Randolph is there for a second, and then the weirdest thing-the ever staunchly “realistic” Darcy decides to do battle with the demon mirror? I don’t know, it just seemed hastily thrown in, instead of carefully worked like in the previous book.

So we will see what the next book holds. Will it get better? Or worse?

There is one question though that this book presented that I think is worth mulling over. Who should Georgiana marry?

So I started thinking, out of all the non-attached Austen men, who would be the best match for Georgiana (yes I know the author might just make a new character like P.D. James did, but forget that lets focus on what Austen made.)? I narrowed it down to three characters who I think might work.

3) Colonel Fitzwilliam from Pride & Prejudice

Pros: Known Georgiana a long time, is kind, caring, funny, amiable, etc.

Cons: Is like a brother to Georgiana, she might not be able to see past that. She might also think he is too old (which he isn’t).

For more on Colonel Fitzwilliam, go to A Murder Has Been Committed on Your Property: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode One (2013)

2) James Morland from Northanger Abbey

Pros: James is a kind, compassionate, caring, and hardworking guy. He has studied constantly and will soon be taking his orders to become a minister. He is a kind older brother and has many traits, in that respect, shared with her brother. Educated, well read, etc.

Cons: Not from a wealthy family, but still does alright; naive, and like Bingley, more easily persuaded.

1) Lieutenant William Price from Mansfield Park

This is actually my top pick, I think they would be good for each other. I just see them as being a great couple, him so sweet and gentle with fragile temperaments. Georgiana needing someone who can be kind and caring.

Pros: Kind, caring, compassionate, honest, and hardworking.

Cons: While his mother came from a high class family, she married down (although that wouldn’t really matter to Georgiana.) He is in the navy a peon, but he does get a great commission through Fanny’s connection to Henry Crawford.

For more on Lt. William Price, go to Let’s Hear it For the Boys

For more by Carrie Bebris, go to Pride & Prescience (Or a Truth Universally Acknowledged)

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Too Pretty

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to What Would Jane Do?: Quips and Wisdom from Jane Austen

For more Pride & Prejudice variations, go to Whether Presentable or Not, I Love Spending Time With You: Episode Four, Pride and Prejudice (1995)

For more Sense and Sensibility variations, go to Baby Jane Austen

For more Jane Austen mysteries, go to Midnight in Austenland

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

Too Pretty

Too Pretty by Andrea Grigg

Gabrielle “Ellie” Paxton is has had to deal with constant criticisms, stereotyping, refused from certain circles, rumors, bad mouthing and unfair firings all because she is-too pretty.

In fact she has just lost her job, is always mistreated by her aunt, and her latest boyfriend just wanted to date her because he wanted to brag about being with her.

Everyone

She goes to her cousin’s congratulation party and meets a handsome guy named Nathaniel. He is interesting, a good listener, well off, and seems perfect. But too bad he doesn’t seem interested in her, she will probably never see him again, and her ex-boyfriend just mauled her and caused her to decide to stop dating men for a year.

Her aunt causes a giant scene and Ellie has enough!

After praying about it, she decides it is time to move from her small town to the big city of Sydney (Australia).

But even though it feels as if God is pushing her in that direction, things don’t seem to be going as she hoped. She is able to meet up with her old friend Annabel, but after she puts out massive amounts of resumes, but  nothing comes of it. Will she be able to make it work?

Annabel is from the same small town as her, and the two went through some rough times before they settled into the confident secure women they are today. Annabel has started dating a very kind and wonderful man who turns out to be extremely wealthy. He has a great family and friends, one of which turns out to be the tall, dark, brooding Nathaniel. As they continue to spend time together, will Ellie keep to her vow of no men?

So what does this have to do with this blog? Why am I reviewing it? Because this is a rewrite of Pride & Prejudice.

Yes, this is another rewrite of Jane Austen. How do I know? Let’s count it down.

A) Gabrielle “Ellie” is like Elizabeth “Lizzie”.

I know that sounds like a stretch, but that is just the first thing. There is more.

B) An Evil Aunt

While in this version the evil one is is Ellie’s aunt (the Elizabeth) instead of the Darcy character the aunt is still the same. She is demanding, rude, cruel, critical, and just all around one of the most awful characters in this.

C) Tall, Dark, and Brooding

Nathaniel is Mr. Darcy. He’s tall, handsome, brooding, rich, etc-all the same qualities. He also doesn’t like to dance, takes a long time to warm up, likes the girl before anyone else realizes it, etc.

D) Best Friend Marrying a Nice Wealthy Guy

So Jane Bennet’s character is taken by Ellie’s best friend Annabel. While Annabel has a past, she is now kind, caring, compassionate, sweet, and thinks the best of everyone. She also manages to score an equally sweet guy, Theo, who turns out to be rich! A real Mr. Bingley, if you know what I mean.

E) Theo has a Mean Girl Sister, Just like Mr. Bingley

While in Pride & Prejudice, Caroline doesn’t like the Bennets because of their class, her main issue is that Elizabeth throws a wrench in her plans to snag Mr. Darcy. In Too Pretty, Alicia likes Annabel and welcomes her into the family, but she hates Ellie. She instantly picks up on Nate’s interest of Ellie and tries all she can to get rid of her as she has been after him for a long time.

F) After They Spend Extended Time Together They Discover Their True Feelings

In P&P Jane becomes sick and Elizabeth travels out to help take care of her. She stays there for weeks, and here is where Mr. Darcy starts to fall for her. In Too Pretty, staying weeks in our modern age wouldn’t work; so instead Ellie is invited for a long weekend and the two realize their feelings for each other.

 G) The Author Mentions Pride & Prejudice Again and Again

She first mentions it when they go to the ball, later there is the whole hand flexing thing from the 2005 film version, and the characters even watch the film. It is clear that this was what inspired the author in writing this book.

So yes, while this isn’t a clear remake of the original book, you can clearly see that the author was greatly inspired by Pride & Prejudice.

But What Did I think of the Book?

I didn’t like it.

The story really fell apart for me because of two things:

1) Going On and On About Ellie Being Too Pretty

So the book starts off with Ellie going on with how she is mistreated because she is too pretty. People think she’s some dumb blonde, want to use her, women mistreat her, people talk bad about her; and on and on.

What jerks

You feel for Ellie, but then she doesn’t stop talking about it. She goes on, and on, and on, and on.

Blah, blah

I get what she is saying, but her continually going on about how beautiful she is chapter after chapter makes it really difficult to not get annoyed. When I was a teenager and suffered from acne, I tried everything to get rid of it, tons of products and nothing worked. When I finally went to a dermatologist I discovered I was allergic to salicylic acid. It is a rare allergy and left scars on my face. I never leave without make up as I don’t like the way I look. So reading about how hard Ellie’s life is because she has a perfect figure, skin, etc-I just can’t feel sorry for her. I would happily trade in an instant.

And that is the problem. Most of the people who read this are going to have some body issue so hearing again and again how she is gorgeous but hates it, doesn’t endear her to the reader.

2) Pretending to Be Someone They Are Not to Get Something and It All Blows Up in Their Face.

This book takes part in one of the worst clichés in books, film, and TV. The character decides to dress up and pretend to be someone else. And what happens in the end? It all comes out and blows up in their face.

It is really dumb, I mean come on what did you think was going to happen? Ugh! I can’t stand it.

Seriously

Yep, those two things killed it for me. I would pass this book on by if I were you.

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to What Would Jane Do?: Quips and Wisdom from Jane Austen

For more Pride & Prejudice variations, go to Whether Presentable or Not, I Love Spending Time With You: Episode Four, Pride and Prejudice (1995)

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

For more Australian Austen works, go to The Austen Series: Amanda

For more on May Vanderbilt, go to A Fashion Statement