Desire & Decorum: Chapter 8, Ill Repute

In the last episode I was invited to the opera by the Duke, ugh, and was able to get a preview with help from the Prince. That opera house was where my late mother used to perform. I also got a letter from my father warning me about the countess trying to slander me and that I need to do some husband hunting.

So you were just reading your father’s letter:

Keeping an eye on you!

So I have two goals: one stop all rumors that the Countess is spreading, and two-find me a man. I write back to let me father know that I don’t have anything concrete-no formal proposal or possible engagement.

After finishing my letter, I hurry to Mr. Woods so that he can mail it out before Countess, Miss Sutton, or my step-brother tries to steal it.

I got this!

Mr. Woods and Briar are planning on going off to drop letters off. Briar is such a little flirt with Mr. Woods and with Mr. Marcastle, she’s going to get in some serious trouble. And, as my dearest friend and the one I was raised with, IF she gets a bad reputation, than so will I. I’ve got to keep my eyes on her.

They ask me to come with them. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to spend my money on that, BUT, if I let her go off-she might do something. Plus, I might run into Mr. Sinclaire. So after some hemming and hawing, I decided to go with them.

Remember how in another chapter I bought a horse?

Since I have her, Fancy is what I named her, I get to ride her around London.

ME!!!

The first person I run into is Mr. Sinclaire.

Hello there!

We give him the letter, and then have to go on our way.

That’s it? That’s all I get?!!

You better have something better for me!! I’m going to be mad if I wasted 19 diamonds!

We get a little back story on Mr. Woods, how he grew up in London and went out to the country-hoping one day to settle down, marry, bring his parents out there.

Briar says how love is the most important thing, that it would be okay to “be as poor as a church mouse” as long as she is with the man she loves. Then why are you messing around with Mr. Marcastle? Hmmm…? Stay with Mr. Woods and leave Marcastle ALONE!

Seriously

We then visit with Mr. Chambers, who’s pants are undone as he was getting it on with another guy. We give him his letter and move on.

That’s it!!!!!????

To be honest, this is soooooooooooooooooo boring! I WOULD NOT buy this at all if I was you!

Just skip that “adventure”.

Later at home, Miss Parsons pay me a visit and brings a little puppy pug. Her sister’s dog had puppies, and offers me one-but I don’t have enough diamonds to purchase one. I don’t really want one as all I can think of is in Mansfield Park where the Mrs. Bertram has a pug.

“She was a woman who spent her days in sitting, nicely dressed, on a sofa, doing some long piece of needlework, of little use and no beauty, thinking more of her pug than her children…” –Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

Afterwards, Miss Parsons and I head over to the opera house in Prince Hamid’s luxurious carriage. We are discussing things, and Prince Hamid tells me how he has heard awful things about me…but he still likes me:

Of course I am, because:

So we get to the Opera where the Duke is trying to get all over me-

I’m not interested!

The Viscount Westonly is trying to get with Miss Parsons, and I’m trying to help her avoid him. Her family is trying to marry her off to anyone with money, they don’t care that he is a seven wife widower. Hmm…did they die of natural causes or…!

Murdered!!!!!

Just kidding, it was natural causes…I think.

Hmmm…

At the Opera, Mr. Chambers also joins us and, ugh, Miss Holloway.

Miss Parsons mentions that she hasn’t seen Mr. Sinclaire at the opera and the Duke gives a comment that Mr. Sinclaire visits other costumed ladies-ladies of the night!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t believe this!

Could Mr. Sinclaire be a skeeze? I know the Duke is one. The whole performance he keeps trying to touch me and comments about how he wants to see me-see me naked is more like it-ugh.

After the opera, instead of having my ride with the Prince and Miss Parsons, the Duke’s sent them all away.

Should I stay in the carriage and risk being assaulted by him?

There aren’t a lot of choices for women in the 1800s.

I spot Mr. Sinclaire and follow him. He is on his way to do something, and invites me along. I know it isn’t proper to go off with him, but what other choices do I really have? At least I know he will keep his hands to himself.

We go off as Mr. Sinclaire is giving food and clothing to people who live in the poorer areas. He is amazed that I would go with him, but first-he hasn’t been a woman trying to fight off the Duke, and second-he’s forgotten how I grew up. A little dirt won’t bother me, and I remember what it was like to have little.

Mr. Sinclaire is a very charitable and kind person, he thinks that no matter where or what station you are born, you should be treated right. So then why did he act like a jerk the first time I met him? He almost ran me down and then:

Right when I’m thinking that, he apologizes for any way he treated me that wasn’t right. Did he just read my mind?

I don’t apologize for the way I thought about him:

We walk along together, and then Mr. Sinclaire shares his feelings with me, but we get interrupted by rain! Romance always blooms more in rain!

After he holds me close, he calls a carriage and takes me home. It turned out to be a nice night…

That is until I get home and Grandma is there!

That is not good,

She’s heard the rumors that have been spreading about my “reputation” and has set out to control my London season.

She wants me with the Duke and will do whatever she can to catch him. I want nothing to do with that guy.

I don’t want to do this.

So with Grandma coming, how will it go?

Keep reading to find out! Or play the game yourself!

For more Desire & Decorum, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 7, Opera St. James

For more choices, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 6, An Intimate Affair

For more on the Opera, go to Le Fantôme de l’Opéra

Walking on Pins and Needles

So do you remember a post a while back when I compared myself to The Little Mermaid, not the film version, but the book.

In the book, the Little Mermaid in her deal to walk on land, trades the comfort of walking along with her voice. Every step she takes feels as if she has knives stabbed into her feet. I had tried to get into shape by doing squats and overdid it, creating very sore thighs. (Read more about it in The Little Moreland)

Well it happened again.

But this time it wasn’t my fault.

I mean it!

So every year in my community there is this big free event in which they give away backpacks, clothes, and all other things to kids and families in need.

The woman in charge asked me if I would help out this year and do face painting. I like doing face painting and have for years, so I agreed.

That day I got there before the event started, and it was packed. I ran over to the table were we had everything set up, but there was one problem. They had only provided three chairs. I had brought an extra chair, but that wasn’t enough for us three volunteers and the people whose faces we would be  painting.

We managed to find one more chair, but that was still one too few. Me being nice as I am, went without.

I thought that we might have breaks in between, but no. It was a never ending line of children and parents.

I spent three hours squatting and painting non-stop. I was only saved the last hour as when other people went home, and they found a chair for me to use.

Finally!

When the event ended I was in so much pain. My thighs and feet hurt. Every step I took I could hear a popping noise or it was extremely sore.

The next day was extremely painful too. Every step was excruciating. But hey, at least it was for charity instead of vanity? Right?

For more stories of my everyday life, go to I Call A Do-Over

Here I Go Again

So here we go again. Yes here we go again…

Couldn’t resist

So those of you who don’t know, those are lyrics from the song.

So here we go again, another post on our “Getting Over a Heartbreak Series”.

22) Here I Go Again by Whitesnake

Now if I had to pick my favorite song, absolutely had to pick one it would be this one. I love this song so, so, so, so, so much.

This is the song that has gotten me through everything. Any horrible events, broken friendships, break ups, moving, and making any drastic changes. It always helps empower me and make me feel like I can get through anything.

The song came out in 1982, but then was re-recorded and released in 1987. The 1987 version is the one I love. It was number one on the Billboard Hot 100 and number 17 on VH1‘s 100 Greatest Songs of the ’80s.

The song was written by  the lead singer, David Coverdale, and former Whitesnake guitarist, Bernie Marsden. 

I just feel that this song is absolutely amazing! I cannot stress that enough. I included it at this point in the breakup list as I feel it goes perfectly after the last song. Here you are going on with your life. Here you go on your own. You are making a vow to not wasting anymore time moping and crying. Here I go again. 🙂

I don’t know where I’m going
But, I sure know where I’ve been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
An’ I’ve made up my mind,
I ain’t wasting no more time
But, here I go again
Here I go again

Tho’ I keep searching for an answer,
I never seem to find what I’m looking for
Oh Lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on,
‘Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An’ here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An’ I’ve made up my mind
I ain’t wasting no more time

I’m just another heart in need of rescue,
Waiting on love’s sweet charity
An’ I’m gonna hold on
For the rest of my days,
‘Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An’ here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An’ I’ve made up my mind
I ain’t wasting no more time

But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go…

An’ I’ve made up my mind,
I ain’t wasting no more time

An’ here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
‘Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An’ here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An’ I’ve made up my mind
I ain’t wasting no more time…

But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go,
Here I go again…

And I have to say that I also absolutely love the version by Rock of Ages.

Remember:

Because:

Go on along the road:

And above all remember:

To start the “Getting Over a Heartbreak” series from the beginning, go to If It Means A Lot to You

For the previous post, go to I Don’t Wanna Be in Love (Dance Floor Anthem)

For more ’80s songs, go to Missing You

For more of my fav songs, go to Over You

For more on Audrey Hepburn, go to Women in Black

For more on James Joyce, go to Good or Bad

For more on Mandy Hale, go to But It’s Alright

For more on Rock of Ages, go to Nothing But a Good Time