The Heartbreak Kid

So I wrote this post years ago, but didn’t post it as I don’t like to write about my friends on my blog-only me. However, as I was going through them I came through this and looked it over again.

Hmmm….

Now it has been years since Eliot and I have talked. He stopped responding to any of my texts, or cards, or etc. I think the last time we had a conversation was in 2013. So I don’t feel too bad about sharing this now, especially as I have changed the name. Hopefully if we become friends again he won’t be mad about this. We’ll see…

I haven’t changed anything, but kept it all the same.

Edmund Bertram:

Scenario One

Edmund Bertram (1999)

1) Edmund and Mary

-Eliot and Carrie

-Eliot and Liz

-Eliot and Chastity

Why is it that really nice people are always attracted to the wrong kinds of people?

The one thing that always bugged me about Edmund Bertram’s character in Mansfield Park is how stupid he acts with Mary. Why is he so dumb and naive around her? Many of my friends feel I am too hard on Edmund, but when all of Jane Austen’s other heroes are so perfect, it can be hard to adore one who has such an achilles heel.

However, I am getting too far ahead of myself.

In Mansfield Park, Edmund is the younger brother. He is very smart and responsible. His older brother Tom, is supposed to inherit everything, and run the household in his father’s absence, but instead takes off to London to “enjoy” the “good times” that go on there; and Edmund steps up to the plate. At this time, Henry and Mary Crawford come to visit the family; Mary having set her sights on the eldest son to ensure a title and money; and Henry to play around with the Bertram girls. With Tom gone, Mary spends a lot of time with Edmund. She likes things about him and Edmund falls for her.

There is only one problem; Mary hates church, clergyman, and says she will never marry one. She tries to convince Edmund to change his profession, and he is stupidly convinced that she will come around and became a minister’s wife. Edmund sees more in her than is really there. Mary cares only for material goods and being high in society while Edmund has a higher consciousness. Edmund only realizes how wrong he is when:

  1. Mary tells Edmund how great it would be if Tom died (at this point in the story Tom had grown quite ill and was at death’s door), and he could inherit everything, and not become a minister
  2. She doesn’t care that her brother and Edmund’s sister Maria committed adultery, but that they were caught. She feels there was nothing wrong with it as long as no one found out.
  3. Her biggest regret about Maria and Henry is that is ruins her chances in moving up in society

It is then that Edmund finally realizes they have a completely different set of morals and values and could never be together.

Seriously

The thing that bugs me about Edmund is how long it took him to realize this! I mean she tells you point blank that she will not marry a clergyman. Why can’t you believe that? Why must you torture yourself believing that you can fix her! Why, why, why? Unfortunately this often happens in the real world. We care for people so we become blind to their faults.

I have a friend Eliot, who is one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. He is sweet, gentle, patient, understanding, etc. He is the type of guy who has no enemies. He has the worst luck with women. It’s REALLY bad! You think someone that nice, would be able to find a worthwhile person, especially since they have so much to offer, but alas he doesn’t.

So first Eliot started dating this girl Carrie. I hated Carrie! She and I were enemies!

She had made it her personal vendetta to be rude and snide to me. And, if one is mean to me I usually reciprocate the same attitude back.

She was an awful person, and completely wrong for Eliot! She started dating Eliot and really yanked him around. He really cared about her, but she just busted him in two. She cheated on him with another guy and left him heartbroken.

Now like Fanny tries to warn Edmund, I tried to warn Eliot. I let him know that Carrie was not the right person for him, but like Fanny, I was dissed and dismissed. Instead, he was convinced that she would change. But like Mary, she didn’t.

Seriously

Then there was Liz. I told Eliot that Liz wasn’t a great girl. She too liked having boyfriends, she just had trouble staying faithful to them. You think he would have listened this time right? But nooooo….instead they date, they become boyfriend and girlfriend. Then one day they are out on a date and bam Liz picks up a guy and starts making out right in front of Eliot. And not just a simple kiss, but full complete action going on there.

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

They broke up.

Then came Chastity. Now Chastity I disliked more than Carrie. Chastity would ALWAYS cheat on her boyfriends. She hurt another one of my friends that way.

Oh no you don’t!

He too was a really sweet, great guy; and she just mangled him. Now once again I tried to tell Eliot about her. I warned him that she had a tendency to cheat on her boyfriends and that it was best to just stay away from her. You think after Heartbreaker One and Two he would have listened to me finally…right?

Majorly

He was convinced that I was “mistaken”, in fact I had to watch what I said about Chastity as he fell really hard for her, so hard that if I made any more comments, our friendship would have been over. Everyone else really liked her. All of his friends liked her. His parents liked her. Her parents liked him. Her friends liked him. Everything was going great…..until it wasn’t.

One day at school I was TAing a class making copies, when another TA, my friend Susan, came into the office room to talk to me. She told me she really liked Eliot and hated the way Chastity treated her boyfriends, and she had something she wanted to tell me. Before the words came out of her mouth I knew that Chastity was cheating again.

This is one of those situations where you know no good will come out. If you tell the person they will hate you, but if you don’t you hate yourself for keeping them in this situation. I knew that he wouldn’t believe me, and even though it was extremely painful I didn’t tell him. I waited and eventually she told him and broke up with him.

Ouch!

It amazes me how he has gone through this and more but doesn’t give up. He still is trying to find a girl that won’t cause him any pain.

At least he was the last time I spoke to him. I don’t know if he still is. It amazes me the people who can be just decimated by something like that, but continue to search for love.

For more Edmund Bertram, go to You Put the Jedi in Pride & PreJEDIce

For more Mansfield Park, go to Jane Austen Chinese Zodiac

When You Least Expect It

 OhNOthisisgonnabebad

Everyone has someone they would rather not see.

Something is not right!

And why does it always seem that when you aren’t thinking about them and totally don’t want to see them they walk back into your life?

really?

really?

That happened to me the other day. I ran into my ex-boyfriend.

Men

So I was headed to the movie theater to see the original Ghostbusters (1984) as it was being rereleased in theaters.

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I was so excited that I even wore my ghostbusters costume.

Taking fandom to the EXTREME!

Taking fandom to the EXTREME!

But then things went wrong. My theater app wasn’t working right so I had to print out my confirmation, but then of course the printer wouldn’t work.

nightmare before christmas nothing turn out like it should

Then I ended up getting stuck behind the theater security guy twice!

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

I then got stuck behind an old man complaining about the computer ticket window.

Just one thing after another

Just one thing after another

I finally reached the line and who should be in front of me? Michael.

Men

Out of all the times in the past two years for me to run into him at the theater dressed in a Ghostbuster costume.

StoryOfMyLifeSomeLikeItHotMarilynMonroe

Sometimes I think my life could be a sitcom.

Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you're chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?

Now the last time I saw him was like two years ago and I was over him and the fact he cheated on me.

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But because I don’t care doesn’t mean I want to see him. It’s like when you pass an area where a skunk has been, there is a bad stink that permeates the air and takes forever to get away from.

It was awful!

I had to wait behind him in line, but thankfully he was with his best friend. If he had been with the girl he cheated on me with (and later married) I don’t know if I could stop old hurts/my temper flaring up. I may have moved on, but in every path there are bumps in the road.

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Anyways, I didn’t want to ruin the night, or taint it any further, so I just tried to ignore him.

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Although I have to admit for a moment I felt pretty silly that after all this time I was dressed up in a costume.

Stranger

But then that moment passed as I remembered how awesome I looked and how I totally rocked my costume.

awesome

And of course I saw that he noticed me and his reaction made me really upset. You see after he dumped me I went to talk to him and see if we could work it out. He acted cold and angry.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

And angry after when I ran into him at the play.

what?

what?

And angry at the theater when he saw me.

Whattheheck

I’m like, excuse me?

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What on earth do you have to be angry about? I’m the one that was cheated on! I’m the one that was dumped. I was the best girlfriend and you were the one who messed it up. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ANGRY! I’M THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO BE!

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It made me angry with him all over again.

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What a horrible-

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It really made me want to go up to him and just teach him a lesson.

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But then after that moment of anger subsided, I remembered that if we hadn’t broken up I might have gone on longer dating a guy who didn’t appreciate me.

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And I’m much happier as I am now then I ever was with him.

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For more on my ex, go to You Put the Ex in Extinct

For more on Ghostbusters, go to Back to the ’80s

For more Oscar Wilde, go to Over and Over Again

For more stories from my everyday life, go to My Favorite Martian

 

You’re My Hero: Why Did I Get Married? (2007)

Romantic Moment #9

Why did I get Married

Why Did I Get Married? (2007)

Why Did I Get Married? is a film directed by and starring Tyler Perry. Just like Diary of a Mad Black Woman, this film is based on his play of the same name.

This film is about four couples, all friends from college, who are going on their annual retreat to not only work on their marriage but catch up on what’s been going on in each other’s lives.

  • The first couple is the over-worked, lawyer Dianne (Sharon Leal) and her husband Dr. Terry (Tyler Perry). The two have been arguing because Dianne didn’t want to time off from work to go on the retreat. In fact she doesn’t want to take off ANY time for anything. He hardly ever sees her or spends time with her. She is hardly involved with their daughter as well as she is always working. Terry wants more kids, but not only is Dianne hardly ever around, but when she is, she is too tired to have sex with him
  • Then we have Angela (Tasha Smith) and Marcus (Michael Jai White). Marcus used to be a famous football player and has two kids with another woman. He married Angela and helped finance her first beauty salon of which he now works at. She has gone to make tons of money, including created her own line of hair products. These two are constantly arguing.
  • Then we have perfect Patricia (Janet Jackson) and her husband Gavin (Malik Yoba). Patricia is a professor and author of the hit book Why Did I Get Married? Everything seems great about them, except the two are a bit stilted.
  • Lastly we have the overweight Sheila (Jill Scott) and her rude, arrogant, jerk of a husband Mike (Richard T. Jones). They are taking a flight to the retreat, taking along their friend Trina (Denise Boutte). Yes, bringing a single girl to a couples retreat? Like that’s not odd. Anyways, Sheila doesn’t fit in her seat, and Trina tries to give hers up, but Mike kicks her off the plane and tells her to drive there.

While there Dianne falls asleep alone, ignoring Terry. Her assistant calls and Terry tells her to leave them alone for the week as Dianne is on vacation. Angela and Marcus are fighting again and he asks Terry for help with something. That night Mike is seen, by Angela, sneaking into Trina’s room. Sheila was heading to Colorado but the night was was too dark and snowy, so she pulls off on the side of the road. There Troy (Lamman Rucker), the sheriff, spots her and brings her to the station to spend the night.

The next day Sheila arrives at the retreat and brings Troy to get with Trina, upsetting Mike. They invite Troy to dinner and that’s when all hell breaks loose.

  • It turns out that Dianne had her tubes tied as she doesn’t want anymore kids. She never told Terry as he wants more. She has been avoiding having sex as she doesn’t want to tell him about it.
  • Dianne also found out that Terry had a DNA test done on his daughter as he wasn’t sure she was really his. Dianne is always busy, so he was wondering if she really got pregnant by someone else.
  • Marcus has been cheating on Angela with his ex-girlfriend, and thought he got a STD from her.
  • Angela cheated on Marcus, with Walter, got an STD, and gave it to Marcus.
  • Gavin blames Patricia for the death of their son.
  • Patricia still blames herself for the death of their son.
  • Mike is cheating on Sheila with Trina.

Everyone tries to fix their mistakes, but Mike wants a divorce. Sheila becomes upset with Mike and whaps him on the head.

After that they all go their separate ways. Sheila stays in town with sheriff Troy, as he gets her a job at the general store. All the remaining couples go through a lot of changes and discussions to find out why did they get married? And do they want to stay married?

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***Most Romantic Moment***

So after the whole finding out your husband was cheating on you with your best friend, along with all the abuses he laid on you throughout the years- Sheila was having a really bad time. Troy is really there for her, providing her with a job and a place to stay while she goes through a divorce and has to figure out what to do with her life now. In fact, the two begin an amazing friendship and at one point Troy wants it to move to dating, but Sheila says no. She is scared since he made everything so much better in her life, that she is falling in love with him for his help only. Troy agrees, and the two decide to take it slow, a little at a time.

Why did I get married

Isn’t that amazing! He is so perfect and just perfect for her! He doesn’t care about her past and he sees all the good in her, past the insecurities and her inhibitions.

WaytoLove

She gets strong, moves along, and finds the perfect man of her dreams.

Why did I get married

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To start Romance is in the Air: Part III from the beginning, go to I Can See Your Beauty: The Breakfast Club (1985)

For the previous post, go to Love Makes You Do Crazy Things: Hercules (1997)

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For more on Why Did I Get Married, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Line List

For more Tyler Perry, go to What Have We Done to Each Other?: Gone Girl (2014)

For more of my favorite quotes, go to You Look Beautiful Just the Way You Are: How to Marry a Millionaire (1953)

For more films based on a play, go to The Perfect Murder: Dial “M” for Murder (1954)

Remember, Remember The 5th of November

V for vendetta V remember the 5th of november

So today is Guy Fawkes Day and you know what that means…

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So this something I actually have to thank my ex-boyfriend for. He may have been a cheating scumbag that at times I really want to punch in the face (or kick in the junk)

dean_punching_supernatural

But he did introduce me to some great musicV for Vendetta, and The Sandman Chronicles.

As it is the 5th of November, it is time to honor it and V. V is amazing. First of all he’s played by Hugo Weaving.

be-still-my-heart-gaston-o

I know, what an amazing actor!!! He has some serious fighter skills!

This was my first date with my ex and all I could do was swoon over him. V, that is not my ex.

swoon dreamy

Besides being an epic fighter, he’s a man with a message and something to fight for.

V for vendetta government

Now do I agree with everything he does? No. He never should have cut Evey’s hair. A girl’s hair is more than hair, it is a part of their identity, a mark of their femininity. What he did was just wrong there.

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

But you can’t help but be swayed by him. He is so eloquent!

V

In fact, I became so enthralled that I actually wrote a song about the film from V to Evey. I composed it as I was biking to school and was unable to write it down. Sadly, by the time I got to class I couldn’t remember much. This is about all I can recall:

“I cut off all your hair,

But I swear to you I care

Because I’ve got a vendetta to win your heart

(Win your heart) (Win your heart)”

Silly huh? But what’s a fangirl to do?

fandomvsReallife

So today I have a proposition for you all. Now none of you under obligation:

Trueallegiance

So last year my friend Benita, who is also a huge fan, and I were discussing the film. She suggested that we should tag walls with Vs on November 5th to honor him. I thought that was a great idea, but didn’t want to get in trouble for vandalism. I thought we should do it in chalk, as it washes off, but that’s when I came up with a better idea!

Its-so-crazy it just mightwork

But I thought what could make this 5th of November really special would be if we would post this picture on our facebook walls.

Remember_remember the 5th of NOvember V for Vendetta

And then on 5 of our friends’ walls asking them to do the same. If we all work together we can cover the world!!! Think about it!

V-for-Vendetta-2005-movie-quote Idea live forever

And never forget:

V for vendetta V remember the 5th of november

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For more on dystopian futures, go to In Their Proper Place

For more on hot masked men, go to I’m Batman!

For more on Hugo Weaving, go to Beast or Man

For more films based on books, go to What Have We Done to Each Other?

For more on Lylod Alexander, go to A Hidden Wonder

For more of my favorite quotes, go to There’s Nothing Out There. Nothing in the Mist

Murder is My Favorite Crime: Laura (1944)

Laura 1944

Murder is my favorite crime.

So I strongly contemplated whether or not I wanted to include this in my Horrorfest. It isn’t really a horror film but more of a mystery thriller, even better defined as a film-noir. I really wanted to include it but, since it wasn’t a real “horror film” I wasn’t sure if I should. But then I had a moment of clarity.

zenon zetus lupetos

This is my blog. I can do whatever I want!

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

So I decided I would.

thats-how-its-done

 

So this actually started out as a play and then was turned into a novel. Otto Preminger saw it as the perfect thing to turn into a film. It is known to be one of the best Film-Noir films along with one of the best mystery-thriller films of all time. AFI ranked it #4 on their list of the 10 greatest mystery films.

This film is also famous for Gene Tierney’s portrayal of Laura. This helped give her title of “Film-Noir Queen”.

So anyways, on to the film.

So it starts off with New York City police Detective Mark McPherson (Dana Andrews).

Det. Lt. Mark McPherson laura

He is investigating the death of the beautiful, successful, advertising executive Laura Hunt. Laura was murdered by a shotgun blast to the face.

Det. McPherson starts investigating and finds himself with multiple murder suspects and motives.

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1) Waldo Lybecker

Waldo Lybecker Laura Innocent

Waldo (Clifton Webb) is a famous columnist and he was the one who actually discovered Laura. She tried to get him to advertise something for him, and faster than you could say Pygmalion, he takes her under his wing and tries to change her and “improve” her.

“Waldo Lydecker: She was quick to seize upon anything that would improve her mind or her appearance. Laura had innate breeding, but she deferred to my judgment and taste. I selected a more attractive hairdress for her. I taught her what clothes were more becoming to her. Through me, she met everyone: The famous and the infamous. Her youth and beauty, her poise and charm of manner captivated them all. She had warmth, vitality. She had authentic magnetism. Wherever we went, she stood out. Men admired her; women envied her. She became as famous as Waldo Lydecker’s walking stick and his white carnation.”

But it goes a little more than that. Waldo becomes obsessed with Laura.

800__shadow_of_a_doubt_blu-ray_04_intense stare angry upset mad creep

Yep. He is in love with her and wants to be the only man. Every time some other guy came around he would find a way to criticize them and demean them. The two broke it off, but Laura was very upset with him.

Laura Angry Mad Upset

Laura started dating another guy, Shelby Carpenter. No matter what Waldo said, Laura wouldn’t listen to him. In fact she decided to marry him.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Yep he was angry. Extremely upset about losing Laura to someone he thought was so unworthy? Angry enough to kill?

Sound suspicious

Hmm…

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2) Shelby Carpenter

laura_shelby

Shelby (played by Vincent Price) comes from great stock, has expensive tastes, and loves the high life. Only one problem, he has no money. None at all. Instead he has to use to his charms to court rich, older women and have them pay for his expenses. In fact he had found a real great giver in Ann Treadwell (Judith Anderson). That is until he met the very charismatic Laura. Not only is she the perfect cash cow to support him, but young and beautiful. Who could ask for anything more?

Shelby Carpenter: I knew there was something on my mind. Ah yes, will you dine with me tomorrow night?

Laura Hunt: Yes.

Shelby Carpenter: No, it’s not that – it’s the next night. And what about three weeks from tonight? And all the nights in between?

Laura Hunt: Shelby, you talk as if I had no other engagements!

Shelby Carpenter: And two months from now? And the month after that?

Laura Hunt: What about next year?

Shelby Carpenter: Oh, that’s all settled. What about breakfast?

Laura Hunt: What about dancing?

Shelby Carpenter: What about lunch? Beautiful lunches, day after day after day?”

The two starting dating and she gave him a job, one of which he didn’t have to do too much work. The two become engaged and all is well.

Sound suspicious

Or is it?

It turns out that Laura wasn’t the only person Shelby was seeing. He was going around with a lot of poor models. Rumor has it that Laura found out and was not happy…could he have killed her? If she was about to leave him high and dry, he might have become incensed and murdered her?

Laura Interviewing Shelby

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3) Ann Treadwell

Laura question

Ann Treadwell is the rich older aunt of Laura. She and Shelby had been in a relationship for a long time. She knew what he was, but that was what she wanted.

Laura what I want

When he left her for Laura, she was furious that her niece stole him away. Furious enough to kill?

Sound suspicious

Sound suspicious

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As Det. McPherson continues to delve into the clues and motives…he learns more and more about Laura. As he learns more and more he starts falling for Laura as well.

lauraportrait

One night Det. McPherson is at Laura’s apartment looking at her painting and trying to figure out the mystery, along with Laura. Why does she draw him to her?

When suddenly somebody comes crashing through.

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It’s Laura!!!

Laura Switch on you dames

But wait…

What!

But if that’s Laura? Who is…?

Who is the dead body?

They find out that the murdered girl is one of the models, Diane Redfern. The same model that Shelby was involved with.

Yep this leads Mark with another suspect…Laura

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4) Laura Hunt

Laura New Hat trying it on mirror

So we’ve heard how Laura rose from nothing to being the top girl. She was beautiful, smart, classy, etc. All women envined her and all men wanted her.

Laura Smart Intelligent woman Dopes

But then the guy she loves and is supposed to marry is running around with a model!!! Cheating on her!!!!

Ryan-Gosling-Oh-No-You-Didnt-Half-Nelson

She knew Diane was in love with Shelby, and she knew Shelby only cared about her money. She knew Shelby was taking models to her house and she could have gone after them and shot her for trying to mess with her man.

that girl is going after my man she is going to wish she was never born

Or she could be so angry at Shelby for cheating on him that she prepared a way to take care of him.

dialMforMurder Killer Hate

Instead of killing him, she could have killed Diane to make it look like Shelby and make him pay!

Does it seem too far-fetched? Well she wasn’t at the cabin when the cops looked that weekend. Her response “I was talking a walk.” She didn’t see the newspapers and come back saying she was alive? Or hear it on the radio? Her response: I don’t get a newspaper and my radio is broken.” Did anyone see you there? “Nobody”.

Being questioned police Annex - Tierney, Gene (Laura)_03

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What does this mean? Who is the killer?

You’ll have to watch the film to find out.

Laura

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For to the previous post, go to Every Time I Bring a Girl Over, You Try to Eat Her!

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For more on Laura (1944), go to All I Know About Trilogies is That in the Third One, All Bets are Off

For more on Vincent Price, go to The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For more mysteries, go to Quite a Horror Story

For more films based on books, go to But the Book, It Will Never Close…

For more films based on a play, go to Some People Are Just Born Evil