It was a Horseman, a Dead One. Headless: Sleepy Hollow (1999)

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It was a headless horseman… But it was a headless horseman…you must believe me. It was a horseman, a dead one. Headless.

I saw this years ago with my sister. She probably shouldn’t have shown it to me as I was too young to be watching an “R” rated film, and all I mostly remember is being confused.

confused

Ichabod Crane was detective not a teacher?

What?

What?

The horseman didn’t follow the correct rules of not being allowed to cross over the bridge. That made me so mad as I had read the book!

Legend of Sleepy Hollow

And there were these weird flashbacks of Ichabod; lots of witchcraft; and the worst performance of Christopher Walken…I don’t know it didn’t make a lot of sense to me.

Whattheheck

So whenever I do Horrorfest, I always plan out ahead of time the things I will review and then because of life when I actually do the reviews, half the things I choose end up not making it into Horrorfest, but are changed out with other films. This film, however, was not one of those. From the beginning of Horrorfest I had wanted to review it.

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You see I had decided it was time to do a Tim Burton film, and choose Sleepy Hollow. I then ended up adding Corpse Bride into the mix as that film I just happened to see. So with Corpse Bride filling that quota, did I need to review Sleepy Hollow?

suspicious Hmm

Well , yes. You see I decided this year I am going to go through my old posts and do films I mention in them, along with remakes and sequels. Tying the old to the new. As I reviewed Disney’s Sleepy Hollow during the original Horrorfest, I decided to bring it back.

Ghosts are bad, but the one that's cursed, Is the Headless Horseman; he's the worst!

Ghosts are bad, but the one that’s cursed,
Is the Headless Horseman; he’s the worst!

So now as an adult, older I decided to watch it. And what did I think?

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You as in the film

You as in the film

I thought it was horrible. First let’s look at Johnny Depp’s character Ichabod Crane. In New York he is “forward thinking” and “ahead of his time”.

as always

as always

Tim Burton really needs to move on from that theme it is boring to see it in every film he does. Anyway, Ichabod is a constable, police officer, but America didn’t have a police force until 1838, and New York didn’t have it until 1845. If the film takes place in 1779, he couldn’t be a police officer.

stupidmoranhmm_yes_i_see_youre_a_moron_trollcat

Does Burton do any historical research?

Or do anything

Or do anything

So he’s all advanced that no one understands him.

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He gives a powerful speech, but is sent to Dutch area of Sleepy Hollow to solve their murders.

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Now when he gets there he turns into the wimpiest person ever. He faints at everything, everything turns him into a shudder; he is brave enough to go into the forbidden woods but too afraid of a Legend. You can’t have him a scaredy-cat and super brave at the same time. It just makes no sense.

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Then we have this whole storyline that witches are good, the church is bad. Ichabod’s mother was a witch, or excuse me “a child of earth and nature” killed by his father the minister. Katrina Van Tassel, is a witch and they go on and on that witches are good, pure, kind, etc.

Young Masbath: A strange sort of witch, with a kind and loving heart. How can you think [her guilty]?

But then the villain of the film is a Witch! You constantly go on about witches being good and misunderstood, and end with your crazy, vengeful, psychopath villain being the thing you are defending.

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

And more importantly WHAT DOES WITCHES HAVE TO DO WITH THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN????!!!!

Ghosts are bad, but the one that's cursed, Is the Headless Horseman; he's the worst!

But it isn’t really the films fault per say. You know how everyone is obsessed with zombies? Well I know you thought the ’90s were only obsessed with dinosaurs and ninjas, but we also had a witches craze. There was The Witches, The Craft, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Hocus Pocus, The Crucible, The Blair Witch Project, Practical Magic, Halloweentown, and even Scooby-Doo got in the act with Scooby-Doo and the Witch’s Ghost.

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)allofthemwitches

So it doesn’t surprise me. I just think it is stupid that they can “control” the horseman and provide better barriers than “holy ground” or THE BRIDGE HE ISN’T SUPPOSED TO CROSS!!!

Yes I am still angry about it.

Yes I am still angry about it.

And Christopher Walken…

I love this man but he was a horrible Headless Horseman. He WASN’T scary! Not at all. All he did was go rah, rah. BORING! Now the Disney one, that was SCARY!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This one:

Bones David Bored I;m bored boring

I don’t recommend it. Visually it is beautiful but that isn’t enough for me.

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to Dracula. Not Myth, Nor Ravings of a Mad Irish Novelist, Oh No, He’s Real: Dracula 2000 (2000)

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For more on Sleepy Hollow, go to A Fright on Halloween Night: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949)

For more witches, go to A Book Considered Too Dangerous to Keep: The Magician’s Nephew, Midsomer Murders (2008)

For more Tim Burton films, go to He’s Married to a Corpse. He Has A Corpse Bride!: Corpse Bride (2005)

For more Johnny Depp, go to Whatever You Do Don’t Fall Asleep: A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

For more Christina Ricci, go to Someone Very Special: The Addam’s Family Values (1993)

For more films based on books, go to I Came Upon a Shattered Glass Jar and Four Baby Turtles Crawling into a Strange Glowing Ooze: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

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Someone Very Special: The Addam’s Family Values (1993)

 

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You’ll meet someone. Someone very special. Someone who won’t press charges.

I love this movie soooooo, soooo, soooooo, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!

love it

I have to watch it every October and any other time it is on TV. I  have loved this movie since I was a kid as it is so hilarious and the dialogue is truly amazing.

I really don’t know where to start with this post as I love every part of this film. To be honest, you just need to watch it! It is that good. Much, much, much, better than the first film; don’t even watch it, enjoy this one. This is one of the few times where the sequel far surpasses the original.

Say What

Yes you heard me. The sequel was better.

I just love Morticia and Gomez, they are an amazing couple.

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So yeah…

Addams Family

The story is that Morticia and Gomez have had a new baby; which Wednesday and Pugsly hate and are trying to destroy.  Anyways, Morticia and Gomez attempt to hire a nanny because Morticia would like some time to herself.

“Morticia: [to Gomez] I’m just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It’s just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.”

After going through a slew of them, they finally get Debbie Jellinsky, played by the amazing Joan Cusack. Debbie seems really nice at first, but we find out that she is trying to get close to Uncle Fester, marry him, kill him, and getting all his money. In fact we find out that Debbie is no ordinary gold-digger, but a full on serial killer.

addams family love and jewelry

And Murder?

Wednesday and Pugsly find out, so Debbie has them sent off to a summer camp which is hilarious. This has some of the best scenes in the film as the kids wreak Addams’ havoc.

addams family values not perky not happy

Debbie tries to complete her plot, but it takes a lot to kill an Addams! Just watch the film! You’ll love it!

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**** Contains Spoilers ****

So one of my favorite parts, is the play that they put on at the summer camp. In the film the camp counselors have broken Wednesday and Pugsly’s spirits, forcing them to watch Disney films which causes them to become perky. They and the other “losers” of the campers are playing the Native Americans in a Thanksgiving play that one of the counselors wrote. But nothing ever goes as planned when an Addams is involved!

Wednesday is AWESOME! I love her. Christina Ricci did an amazing job at being her. I couldn’t imagine a better person.

My other most absolute favorite part is when we get to hear Debbie’s backstory, and why she turned to a life of murder and thievery.

I LOVE this part so much! I have the whole thing memorized and love to recite it!

That’s today’s terrifying post! More to come! 8 Days ‘Till Halloween!

Here’s a cover page/poster I made for my facebook page as part of my countdown to Halloween last year.

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To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

To go to the previous post, go to I Can Be Your Best Friend Or Your Worst Enemy

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For more sequels, go to I Want Friend Like Me

For more on serial killers, go to Halloween

For more on summer camp, go to Camp Blood