Is She Mrs. X?: So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)

Woman! Woah-man! Wooaahhhhh-man! We had love, not just sex. Is she Mrs. X? I had to run for my life… Jane, get me off of this crazy thing called love.

I had always heard of this movie, but never had the opportunity to watch it. Every time I tried I would come in the middle or miss pieces. Then one day my friend and I were looking through Hulu and spotted it, deciding to watch it.

**Spoiler Alert**

Charlie Mackenzie (Mike Meyers) is a Scottish poet living in San Francisco. He performs at a coffee shop doing his riffs on love.

One day he stops at a butcher shop, Meats of the World, to pick up some haggis for his family dinner and meets the butcher-Harriet.

When he visits the family, his mother feels it is her duty to let him know of female serial killer, Mrs. X, that she read about in the tabloids. She hopes that Charlie will be careful and not end up he next victim.

Charlie Mackenzie: Hey Mom, I find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as, “The paper.” The paper contains facts.

May Mackenzie: This paper contains facts. And this paper has the eighth highest circulation in the whole wide world. Right? Plenty of facts. “Pregnant man gives birth.” That’s a fact.

Charlie can’t get Harriet out of his mind and goes back to the butcher shop to spends time with her-actually being hired on as an assistant. There he entertains Harriet, they go out and eat, and ultimately spend the whole day together-and night.

The next morning Charlie meets Harriet’s sister who is really odd.

Huh?

They way she talks about her sister Harriet is a bit off.

Rose Michaels: Well… you know Harriet.

Charlie Mackenzie: Well, actually, I don’t.

Rose Michaels: But you did have sex with her.

Charlie Mackenzie: Hello!

Rose Michaels: Let me make you some breakfast.

Charlie Mackenzie: Oh, gee, you know, I’d love to. But you know, I’m really running late, but thanks!

Rose Michaels: What would you say to silver-dollar pancakes, fresh-squeezed orange juice, bacon, and Kona coffee?

Charlie Mackenzie: Well, that sounds great!

Rose Michaels:[Cut to Rose pouring cereal in Charlie’s bowl] Sorry. I didn’t have those other things.

Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, that’s fine. That other stuff will probably kill you… whereas “Froot Loops” are light, and reasonably high in fiber. I care for “Apple Jacks” a great deal.

But while Harriet is fun, charming, and gives Charlie a great time; there is something not quite right about her.

Hmm…

She is evasive, needy, and slightly odd. She also has all kinds of things from all over the country that were given to her by “friends”. These friends being similar to Mrs. Xs husbands.

Hmm…

He tries to do some research into Mrs. X:

Obituary Writer: There’s another one here. Native San Franciscan. Plumber. Elliot, Ralph. Moved to Dallas, disappeared four months ago, body was found in a sewer.

Obituary Employee: Well, guy takes his job too seriously, life goes down the drain. [both laugh]

Charlie Mackenzie: Did they mention anything about his wife?

Obituary Employee: All right, okay. Look, I know that we’re talking about real people here. I’m sorry.

Charlie Mackenzie: No no, I’m serious. Did they mention the wife?

Obituary Employee: Look, I’m sorry you know. You know, I didn’t mean to make a joke about other people’s lives.

Charlie Mackenzie: No no, I’m really serious. Did they mention the wife?

Obituary Employee: You win, you win okay? I’m a bad person!

Obituary Writer: Just take it easy!

Obituary Employee: No, he’s sayin’ I’m insensitive! He’s sayin’ I’m a s***!

Obituary Writer: He’s not sayin’ you’re a s***!

Charlie Mackenzie: [yelling] Did they mention the wife? Did they mention the wife?

Obituary Employee: No! No! They didn’t mention the wife! Ya happy? [speaking to the whole office] YEAH! Oh yes, yeah. I’m insensitive! I’m a very insensitive man! Stop you’re job, look at the insensitive man! That’s what they’re paying you for! [leaves]”

So he then asks his police friend Tony Giardino. Tony tells him that Harriet is not likely to be Mrs. X; but Charlie isn’t convinced. He starts watching Harriet closely on their dates and her behavior is odd and off.

hmm…

He eventually gets so terrified that he breaks up with Harriet, happy to have outlived Mrs. X.

Or is he happy? He misses Harriet and keeps thinking about her.

Hmm…

Was he wrong to break up with her? Then his friend, the police detective Tony, tells him that they caught Mrs. X. It wasn’t Harriet!!! Charlie was wrong! He overreacted! His imagination ran away from him!

He tries to get back with Harriet, but after he dumped her no dice.

Does he give up?

So sweet, right?

Aw!

Everything is going well, so well that Charlie asks Harriet to marry him.

“Charlie Mackenzie: Marry me.

Harriet: No.

Charlie Mackenzie: Please?”

It is weird how Harriet was trying to make them more formal and pushing the relationship forward, but at marriage she balks. After Charlie explains how much he cares and talks to her, Harriet agrees, but then at the wedding acts weird again.

Hmm…

They head off to a romantic honeymoon. All is going well!

Yay!!!

Meanwhile, Tony is working when he finds out that the woman who claimed to be Mrs. X is a compulsive liar!

He tries to get a hold of Charlie, but a storm knocks out the power lines and the message is cut off. Tony heads up to their hotel to try and save them, he ends up commandeering a car from the dad from Beethoven and living out his fantasies of being a TV cop.

So now Charlie is trapped with an ax murderer!

So while they make it seem as if Harriet is an ax murderer, I was convinced the whole movie that it was really Rose?

Huh?

I know, Rose has like only a few minutes in the film but while Harriet is weird-

Rose seemed like:

Yeah, a real psycho. I think I suspected her because of the way she talked about “their” home and how Harriet always leaves for a little while, but then “always comes back.” The way she said “always comes back” made me think she was either obsessed with her sister or afraid of losing her forever-and was killing Harriet’s husbands without her knowing. Yep, I think Rose is:

Meanwhile, Charlie is terrified of Harriet-thinking she is going to kill him.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

But when he gets alone he discovers a “Dear Jane” letter. A letter that appears that it was signed by him! Saying he was leaving her!

What?

To make things even more surprising he finds Rose in his honeymoon suite!

And she has an ax!

AAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now he gets in a game of cat and mouse as he has to run for his life!

In the end they all live happily ever after. Rose gets the help she needs in prison, Harriet knows that she wasn’t dumped and left and that Charlie loves her, and Charlie loves Harriet and knows she won’t kill him.

No facebook cover for this one either. Man the movies I have picked have been hard ones to find a moment to use. Oh well.

Oh, well

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to The Cruel Giggling Ghoul: Teen Titans Go (2016)

For more serial killers, go to Someone is Killing By Copying Old Murders!: Real Murders

For more female serial killers, go to The Butcher of Burtonsville High: The Death of the Queen Bee, Bones (2010)

For more horror-comedy, go to China is Here Mr. Burton. The Chang Sing, The Wing Kong, They’ve Been Fighting for Centuries: Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

Don’t You Forget About Me

30 years ago, one of the best movies was released:

Yep this baby.

Now I know you all are thinking, but it says March 24, 1984. That’s the time in the movie, the film was actually released February 15, 1985.

This film was written by John Hughes in just two days and completely shot in sequence. What also is really interesting about this film is that Hughes actually allowed a lot of ab-libbing in the film. Such as Brian’s reason for a fake ID- “so I can vote”; the whole scene when they are in a circle sharing their feelings; and even the fist in the air by Judd Nelson at the end of the film. Now that last scene is extremely iconic, just like the song “Don’t You Forget About Me”. This song was especially written for the film and was turned down by a quite a few artists, like Billy Idol, to finally be performed by Simple Mind. Of course it became a huge hit for the band and is covered by millions, including Billy Idol. I guess he changed his mind.

So some of you many not be aware of the story, so here is a brief recap.

Five very different students have been sentenced with detention. We have Allison Reynolds (Ally Sheedy), “the basket case” who just came for fun; Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez), “the athlete”, who received detention for bullying a kid; John Bender (Judd Nelson), “the criminal”, sent there because of his acting up;  Claire Standish (Molly Ringwald), “the princess”, caught skipping school to go shopping; and Brian Johnson (Anthony Michael Hall), “the brain”, who brought a flare gun to school.

In the beginning everyone abides by their cliques, Claire and Andrew sit together as they are on the highest level of the totem pole, while the rest sit by themselves. At first they keep their distance and Bender riles everyone, but through the course of the day they all bond together sharing their most personal secrets and working out their dysfunctions.

Allison feels ignored and therefore is a compulsive liar and a klepto, seeking out attention. Andrew hates his overbearing father who is always pressuring him. That is one of the reasons why he was bullying another kid, his father said he wasn’t being manly enough. Bender is abused by his father and ignored the rest of the time. Claire feels confined by the role she is in, as everyone sees her a certain way when in reality she has hardly ever dated and is a virgin. Brian feels so pressured by his family to be perfect and get into a good college, that he contemplated suicide over getting a bad grade in woodshop. Through these discussions, everyone feels much better and is much happier. But at the same time they feel sad and scared that once they are back in school Monday they will no longer be friends and things will continue as they have before.

Before the day ends, they hook up the sound system and have a big dance. Claire and Bender pair up and so do Allison and Andrew. Poor Brian gets stuck writing their detention assignment.

In the end Claire gives Bender one of her diamond earrings so they’ll never forget that moment. Allison steals Andrew’s Captain letter and the two kiss, while Brian gets nothing (poor nerdy guy). And the film ends with Bender’s triumphant arm thrust and Simple Mind’s Don’t You Forget About Me playing in the background.

Now I love this movie. Like freaking love it.

And watch it over and over.

I mean how could you not love it and the messages it covers? First of all you see that labels are nothing, just things we create ourselves to make us feel accepted, when in fact there is a little of everything in all of us.

We all have insecurities:

And that we all are strange. Nobody’s perfect or has it all together.

Yep, I just love this film.

In fact, I am such a fangirl over it that in one of my college courses, a group of us became such great friends and were all so different, yet the same, that we named our collective “The Breakfast Club”. Yep, my fangirl was showing.

So of course being a huge fan, when I saw a quiz to see which character I was, I had to take it. And I got:

To see who you are, click here.

Now this surprised me as I would have thought I’d get the Basket Case, Brain, or Athlete before I ever got the Criminal. But, and you guys will laugh at this, a few weeks ago (and right after I took this quiz) I was watching this film with four other friends. We started teasing my friend Gabe that he was Brian the Brain. He started joking that our friend Stephanie was Allison the Basket Case. Then we all started pairing up people and characters. Laurence did sports so he became Andrew the Athlete. And even though Jack was a boy, we decided he was Claire the Princess, or Prince in his case. And that made me Bender the Criminal. In fact, that night I was wearing a plaid shirt, jeans, and black boots; not the exact ones Bender wears, but pretty darn close. Now whenever I see Jack, I always joke around that he’s my girlfriend, or woman as I feel Bender would say.

So this is one fantastic film that I strongly suggest you view. If you’ve never seen it, get a copy and do so as soon as possible. If you have, another thousand viewings is what I recommend. 🙂

For more on The Breakfast Club, go to I Can See Your Beauty: The Breakfast Club (1985)

For more on Judd Nelson, go to I’m Going Down the Tubes: Making the Grade (1984)

For more about the ’80s, go to In Love With the ’80s (Pink Tux to the Prom)

For more quizzes, go to Shall We Dance?: What Happens in Vegas (2008)

I Can See Your Beauty: The Breakfast Club (1985)

Romantic Moment #1

The Breakfast Club (1985)

So one of my all time favorite movies is The Breakfast Club. I just love the story of how you have all these different people crossing social circles and befriending each other. It is something that could not be done today.

***Spoiler Alert***

So the movie begins one Saturday morning:

It turns out that five very different students have been sentenced with detention. We have Allison Reynolds (Ally Sheedy), “the basket case” who just came for fun; Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez), “the athlete”, who recieved detention for bullying a kid; John Bender (Judd Nelson), “the criminal”, sent there because of his acting up;  Claire Standish (Molly Ringwald), “the princess”, caught skipping school to go shopping; and Brian Johnson (Anthony Michael Hall), “the brain”, who brought a flare gun to school. 

In the beginning everyone abides by their cliques, Claire and Andrew sit together as they are on the highest level of the totem pole, while the rest sit amongst themselves. At first they keep their distance and Bender riles everyone, but through the course of the day they all bond together sharing their most personal secrets and working out their dysfunctions.

Allison feels ignored and therefore is a compulsive liar and a klepto, seeking out attention. Andrew hates his overbearing father who is always pressuring him. That is one of the reasons why he was bullying another kid, his father said he wasn’t being manly enough. Bender is abused by his father and ignored the rest of the time. Claire feels confined by the role she is in, as everyone sees her a certain way when in reality she has hardly ever dated and is a virgin. Brian feels so pressured by his family to be perfect and get into a good college, that he contemplated suicide over getting a bad grade in woodshop. Through these discussions, everyone feels much better and is much happier. But at the same time they feel sad and scared that once they are back in school Monday they will no longer be friends and things will continue as they have before.

Before the day ends, they hook up the sound system and have a big dance. Claire and Bender hook up and so do Allison and Andrew. Poor Brian gets stuck writing their detention assignment.

In the end Claire gives Bender one of her diamond earrings so they’ll never forget that moment. Allison steals Andrew’s Captain letter and the two kiss, while Brian gets nothing (poor nerdy guy). And the film ends with Bender’s triumphant arm thrust and Simple Mind’s Don’t You Forget About Me playing in the background.

Most Romantic Moment

Now what I consider  the most romantic moment happens at the end. Emilio Estevez, and let’s face it, if you know me at all you knew that the scene was going to include something about him. I mean look at this gorgeous man!

So at the end of the film, after their crazy dance party (of which I love watching Emilio dance); Claire notices that Andrew has been looking at Allison and she is feeling kinda bored and decides to give Allison a makeover.

Claire pushes Allison’s hair back and does her makeup, but nothing too showy, mostly natural and she comes out. When she goes over to Andrew he is shocked at what he sees and says one of the most romantic things ever.

Andrew: [after Claire has given Allison a makeover] What happened to you?

Allison Reynolds: Why? Claire did it… What’s wrong?

Andrew: Nothing’s wrong… it’s just so different, you know? I can see your face.

Allison Reynolds: Is that good or bad?

Andrew: It’s good.

So romantic!

I mean I just absolutely love how he says “I can see your face.” He doesn’t say that that “you look hot” or “you look so much better than before”. What he says is that “I can see you even clearer than before.” And it’s not like this some new-flung thing. He was interested in her when they went to get the sodas, trying to get to know her better.  Later when she is sharing things about herself, he pays deep attention and defends her when the other people call her bizarre.

But the best thing of all is just the fact that when he tells her that she is beautiful, he’s not saying she is beautiful because she changed herself, but that she was always beautiful and know he can see it even better than before.

For more on The Breakfast Club, go to Heaven on Earth

For more on Judd Nelson, go to When Everything is Going Your Way

For more on the ’80s, go to In Love With the ’80s (Pink Tux to the Prom)

For more on Audrey Hepburn, go to O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree