Conan the Librarian

ConantheLibrarianConantheBarbarianArnoldSchwarzenegger

Okay I loved the original Conan films with Arnold Schwarzenegger, I thought they were absolutely great. (To read more of my thoughts on the first film, go here.)

So anyways, I found this pic on the internet and it is hilarious. 🙂 And it got me thinking…Wouldn’t Conan make an awesome librarian? I mean with him there would be no late fees, ever.

You kept items past the due date!

Let me show you what happens to people who keep items past their due date!

He would use all his strength and power to pass on the love of reading.

“Mongol General:  Conan! What is best in life?

Conan: To teach people how to use the online catalog, help people find the books they want, and create children and adult reading programs!”

Haha! LOL

Think about it people. Sometimes the way of the future can be pulled out of the past.

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Now in other news, today is a very special day in our world & nation’s history. Not only is it Veterans’ Day, but 2014 marks the 100th anniversary of WWI. I would just like to take the time to give a shout out to all the veterans who have served, and all the troops currently serving.  Thank you so much for everything you have done and for all the sacrifices you have made. I am so happy to live in a country that gives honor to those who deserve it for all that they do. Happy Veteran’s Day!

freedomlibertyneverforgetMrSmithgoestowashington

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For more on Conan go to Part XI: A Movie Line List’s Excellent Adventure

For more on Arnold Schwarzenegger, go to I’ll Be Back

For more on libraries, go to The America I Love

To read more book related posts, go to What Have We Done to Each Other?

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For more on Veterans’ Day, go to Let’s Hear It for the Boys

For  more on Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, go to My Favorite Movie Lines

Part XI: A Movie Lines List’s Excellent Adventure (A My Favorite Movie Lines List)

80sMovie

Have you ever felt this way? Well I can’t make your life an ’80s film, but I can give you a post all about ’80s film!

Double double yay

Yep the My Favorite Movie Lines List is back, but this time it has some serious ’80s flavor!

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1001)”Colonel Vogel: What does the diary tell you that it doesn’t tell us? [he tries to slap him again; Henry grabs his wrist, stopping him]
Professor Henry Jones: [through his teeth] It tells me, that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try *reading* books instead of *burning* them!”–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

read

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1002)”Conan: You’re not a guard!
Valeria: Neither are you!
Subotai: We’re thieves! Ha! Like yourself. Come to climb the tower.
Valeria: You don’t even have a rope! Ha! Two fools who laugh at death. Do you know what horrors lie beyond that wall?
Conan: No
Valeria: Then you go first.”–Conan the Barbarian (1982)

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1003)”Clubber Lang: No, I don’t hate Balboa. I pity the fool…”–Rocky III (1982)

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1004)”Anne Shirley: If I’d been the boy you sent for, I could have spared you in so many ways.
Matthew Cuthbert: I never wanted a boy. I only wanted you from the first day. Don’t ever change. I love my little girl. I’m so proud of my little girl.”–Anne of Green Gables (1985)

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1005)”Lloyd Dobler: She’s gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.”–Say Anything (1989)

SayanythingHeartPenBrokenheart

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1006)”Jehnna: I suppose nothing hurts you.
Conan: Only pain.”–Conan the Destroyer (1984)

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1007)”Chris: What should I do?
Sarah: Get in the car and run him over.”–Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

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1008)”[after commandeering a plane]
Professor Henry Jones: I didn’t know you could fly a plane.
Indiana Jones: Fly, yes. Land, no.”–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

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1009)”Interviewer: What’s your prediction for the fight?
Clubber Lang: My prediction?
Interviewer: Yes, your prediction.
Clubber Lang:[Clubber looks into camera] Pain!”–Rocky III (1982)

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1010)”Ted: Please welcome, the very excellent barbarian…
Ted, Bill: …MR. GENGHIS KHAN!
[All the students applaud wildly for Khan]
Ted: This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who, we were told, 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Oshman’s Sporting Goods.”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1011)”Marilla Cuthbert: Oh, this is a fine kettle of fish.”–Anne of Green Gables (1985)

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1012)”Professor Henry Jones: [accidentally shoots their own plane with the machine gun]
Indiana Jones: Dad, are we hit?
Professor Henry Jones: More or less. Son, I’m sorry. They got us.”–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

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1013)”Malak: A fine magician you are! Go back to juggling apples.”–Conan the Destroyer (1984)

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1014)”Gilbert Blythe: It’ll be three years before I finish medical school. Even then there won’t be any diamond sunbursts or marble halls.
Anne Shirley: I don’t want diamond sunbursts, or marble halls. I just want you.”–Anne of Avonlea (1987)

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1015)”Rocky Balboa: Nothing is real if you don’t believe in who you are!”–Rocky III (1982)

believe

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1016)”Diane Court: Nobody thinks it will work, do they?
Lloyd Dobler: No. You just described every great success story.”–Say Anything (1989)

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1017)”Ted: Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K.”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1018)”Anne Shirley: I don’t want any of it to change. I wish I could just hold on to those days forever. I have a feeling things will never be the same again, will they?
Gilbert Blythe: I won’t change, that’s the least I can promise you.”–Anne of Avonlea (1987)

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1019)”Sarah: [Trying to convince Chris not to leave her alone with Brad] What if the house explodes?
Chris: The house is not going to explode!
Sarah: You leave him here alone, and it will!”–Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

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1020)”Jehnna: How do you attract a man? What I mean is, suppose you set your heart on somebody. What would you do to get him?
Zula: Grab him! And take him!”–Conan the Destroyer (1984)

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1021)”Apollo Creed: Can he swim?
Paulie: With a name like “Rock”!”–Rocky III (1982)

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1022)”[Bill and Ted meet themselves]
Ted: OK wait. If you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of?
Bill, Ted: 69, dudes.
Bill, Ted: Whoa.”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1023)”[Indiana Jones and Professor Jones Sr. are trapped between a room on fire and a room full of Nazis]
Professor Henry Jones: Our situation has not improved.”–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

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1024)”Lloyd Dobler: I am looking for a dare to be great situation.”–Say Anything (1989)

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1025)”Miss Stacy: True friends are always together in spirit.”–Anne of Green Gables (1985)

HarryPotterThoseWhoreallyLoveus

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1025)”Rocky Balboa: Friends don’t owe! They do because the wanna do.”–Rocky III (1982)

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1026)”Conan: Enough talk!”–Conan the Destroyer (1984)

Conan the barbarian

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1027)”Bill: Okay, Ted, George Washington. One: the father of our country.
Ted: Two: born on President’s Day.
Bill: Three: the dollar-bill guy.
Ted: Bill, you ever made a mushroom out of his head? It’s like, just like…
Bill: Ted. Alaska.
Ted: Okay. Um… Had wooden teeth, chased Moby Dick.
Bill: That’s Captain Ahab, dude.”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1028)”Anne Shirley: This is the most tragical thing that has ever happened to me.”–Anne of Green Gables (1985)

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1029)”Sarah: [About Dawson] It’s Thor!
Brad: No, it’s not Sarah.
Sarah:[to Dawson] Don’t listen to him, he called you a homo.”
Dawson[Angrily grabs Brad by shirt] You spreading lies about me kid?
Brad[Nervously] Who, me? Never!”–Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

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1030)”Short Round: I keep telling you, you listen to me more, you live longer!”–Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

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1031)”Mickey: You’re wearing your anatomy out for charity. Nobody else does this much for charity.
Rocky Balboa: Bob Hope would.
Mickey: [pause, nods] That’s true.”–Rocky III (1982)

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1032)”Conan’s Father: You must learn its riddle, Conan. You must learn its discipline. For no one – no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. [Points to sword] This you can trust.”–Conan the Barbarian (1982)

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1033)”Anne Shirley: Well, I wouldn’t marry anyone who was really wicked, but I think I’d like it if he could be wicked and wouldn’t.”–Anne of Avonlea (1987)

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1034)”Diane Court: I just can’t have any social life right now.
Lloyd Dobler: Don’t worry about it. We’re just having coffee. We’ll be anti-social.
Diane Court: Be friends?
Lloyd Dobler: Yeah. With potential.”–Say Anything (1989)

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1035)”[Captain Logan is questioning Abraham Lincoln]
Capt. Logan: All right, what’s your name?
Abraham Lincoln: Abraham Lincoln. That’s L-I-N-C-O-L-N.
Capt. Logan: I know how to spell Lincoln. What’s your birthday, Mr. Lincoln?
Abraham Lincoln: February 12… 1809.”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1036)”Indiana Jones: [shouts] I told you…[grabs a gun and shoots all soldiers dead] DON’T call me Junior!”–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

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1037)”Nicoli Koloff: Whatever he hits, he destroys.”–Rocky IV (1985)

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1038)”Toht: You Americans, you’re all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions.”–Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

OverdressOveredu

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1039)”King Osric: There comes a time, thief, when the jewels cease to sparkle, when the gold loses its luster, when the throne room becomes a prison, and all that is left is a father’s love for his child.”–Conan the Barbarian (1982)

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1040)”Josie Pye: Hey, Anne, how do you spell freckle?
Diana Barry: Hey, Josie, how do you spell ugly?”–Anne of Green Gables (1985)

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1041)”Lloyd Dobler: I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you’re here at like the Gas ‘n’ Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?
Joe: By choice, man.”–Say Anything (1989)

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1042)”Daryl: Did you steal all of these cars?
Joe Gipp: Yeah. It gets me some good money.
Daryl: Isn’t it kind of dangerous?
Joe Gipp: Hey, I like danger, all right?
Chris: You should try babysitting.”–Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

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1043)”Jessica Rabbit: Oh, Roger. You were magnificent.
Roger Rabbit: Was I really?
Jessica Rabbit: Better than Goofy.”–Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

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1044)”Mr. Ryan: It seems to me the only thing you’ve learned is that Caesar is a ‘salad dressing dude.”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1045)”Caroline: [Very drunk]Who’s he?
Jake: That’s me.
Caroline: Who are you?
Jake: I’m him.
Caroline: Oh, okay.–Sixteen Candles (1984)

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1046)”Indiana Jones: Sallah, I said *no* camels. That’s *five* camels. Can’t you count?”–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

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1047)”Bill: Okay, wait, if we were one of Europe’s greatest leaders, and we were stranded in San Dimas for one day, where would we go?
Bill, Ted: [pause] Waterloo!”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1048)”Lloyd Dobler: ‘Cause I’m a guy. I have pride.
Corey Flood: You’re not a guy.
Lloyd Dobler: I am.
Corey Flood: No. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don’t be a guy.”–Say Anything (1989)

RealMan

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1049)”David Seville: Alvin, we’ve been over this a million times!
Alvin Seville: Please, Dave! I need a little culture in my life! The Eiffel Tower, the Sixteen Chapel, the Louvre in Rome!
Simon Seville: The Louvre is in Paris, Alvin.
Alvin Seville: You see? I don’t even know where the Louvre is!”–The Chipmunk Adventure (1987)

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1050)”Professor Henry Jones: Those people are trying to kill us!
Indiana Jones: [shouts] I know, Dad!
Professor Henry Jones: This is a new experience for me.
Indiana Jones: It happens to me all the time.–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

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1051)”Jim Baker: That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call ’em something else.”–Sixteen Candles (1984)

Saint Elmo's Fire Love sucks

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1052)”Dan Lynch: Where is your brain?”–Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

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1053)”Zeus: Fortune is ally to the brave.”–Clash of the Titans (1981)

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1054)”Bill: Be excellent to each other.
Ted: Party on, dudes!”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1055)”Simon Seville: I can’t believe you decieved Miss Miller for a package of Tutti Frutti, Theodore.
Theodore Seville: Two packages!”–The Chipmunk Adventure (1987)

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1056)”Lloyd Dobler: What I really want to do with my life – what I want to do for a living – is I want to be with your daughter. I’m good at it.”–Say Anything (1989)

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1057)”Long Duk Dong: What’s happenin’, hot stuff?”–Sixteen Candles (1984)

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1058)”Zeus: Perseus and Andromeda will be happy together. Have fine sons… rule wisely… And to perpetuate the story of his courage, I command that from henceforth, he will be set among the stars and constellations. He, Perseus, the lovely Andromeda, the noble Pegasus, and even the vain Cassiopeia. Let the stars be named after then forever. As long as man shall walk the Earth and search the night sky in wonder, they will remember the courage of Perseus forever. Even if we, the gods, are abandoned or forgotten, the stars will never fade. Never. They will burn till the end of the time.”–Clash of the Titans (1981)

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1059)”Socrates: [In Greek] Like sands of the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1060)”Anne Shirley: And I promise I’ll never do it again. That’s the one good thing about me. I never do the same wrong thing twice.”–Anne of Green Gables (1985)

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1061)”Indiana Jones: I’m like a bad penny, I always turn up.”–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

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1062)”Brittany Miller: If you think I’m going to marry that pint-sized twerp, you’re nuts!
Arabian Prince: [laughing] Pint-sized twerp? I love that! [continues laughing, then pauses] What is a twerp?”–The Chipmunk Adventure (1987)

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1063)”Corey Flood: [Lloyd’s letter to Diane] Dear Diane, I’ll always be there for you. All the love in my heart, Lloyd.”–Say Anything (1989)

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1064)”Ammon: I was partial to tragedy in my youth. That was before experience taught me that life was tragical enough without my having to write about it.”–Clash of the Titans (1981)

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1065)”Bill: [approaching Socrates] How’s it going? I’m Bill, this is Ted. We’re from the future.
Socrates: Socrates.
Ted: [whispering to Bill] Now what?
Bill: I dunno. Philosophize with him!
Ted: [clears his throat, to Socrates] “All we are is dust in the wind,” dude.
[Socrates gives them a blank stare]
Bill: [scoops up a pile of dust from the basin before them and lets it run out of his hand] Dust.
[he blows the remainder away]
Bill: Wind.
Ted: [points at Socrates] Dude.”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1066)”Indiana: Snakes. Why’d it have to be snakes?”–Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

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1067)”Roger Rabbit: A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have.”–Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

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1068)”Jake: I want a serious girlfriend. Somebody I can love, that’s gonna love me back. Is that psycho?”–Sixteen Candles (1984)

girfriend

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1069)”Aunt Josephine: I like people who make me like them. Saves me so much trouble forcing myself to like them.”–Anne of Green Gables (1985)

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1070)”Joe: [Lloyd has just explained his feelings for Diane] Dude, I don’t even feel that way about my car, man.”–Say Anything (1989)

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1071)”Indiana Jones: Come on, dad. Help me get us out of here. We have to get to Marcus before the Nazis do.
Professor Henry Jones: But you said he had a two day head start. That he would blend in, disappear.
Indiana Jones: Are you kidding? I made all that up. You know Marcus. He once got lost in his own museum.”–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

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1072)”Calibos: Release the Kracken!”–Clash of the Titans (1981)

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1073)”Eddie Valiant: You mean you could’ve taken your hand out of that cuff at any time?
Roger Rabbit: No, not at any time, only when it was funny.”–Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

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1074)”Biff Tannen: Hey butthead!”–Back to the Future (1985)

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1075)” Bill: [To Billy the Kid] Billy, you are dealing with the oddity of time travel with the greatest of ease.”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1076)”Vizzini: I’m Waiting”–The Princess Bride (1987)

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1077)”Anne Shirley: Ruby Gillis says when she grows up, she wants to have a line of beaus on a string and make them crazy for her. I’d rather have one, in his rightful mind.”–Anne of Green Gables (1985)

boyfriendAnneofGreenGables

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1078)”R.K. Maroon: How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Only that there is no business like it, no business I know.”–Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

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1079)”Randy: Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself? It’s bad for your complexion.”–Sixteen Candles (1984)

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1080)”[Finding a hidden passage in a Venetian library]
Indiana Jones: ‘X’ marks the spot.”–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

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1081)”Marty McFly: [Reading the newspaper from 2015] “Within two hours of his arrest, Martin McFly Jr. was tried, convicted and sentenced to fifteen years in the state penitentiary.”? Within two hours?
Doc: The justice system works swiftly in the future now that they’ve abolished all lawyers.”–Back to the Future Part II (1989)

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1082)”Zeus: Find, and fulfill your destiny!”–Clash of the Titans (1981)

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1083)”Inigo Montoya: But this is Buttercup’s true love – If you heal him, he will stop Humperdinck’s wedding.
Miracle Max: Wait. Wait. I make him better, Humperdinck suffers?
Inigo Montoya: Humiliations galore!
Miracle Max: That is a noble cause. Give me the sixty-five, I’m on the job.”–The Princess Bride (1987)

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1084)”Eddie Valiant: Seriously, what do you see in that guy?
Jessica Rabbit: He makes me laugh.”–Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

Laughter

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1085)”Belloq: How odd that it should end this way for us after so many stimulating encounters. I almost regret it. Where shall I find a new adversary so close to my own level?
Indiana: Try the local sewer.”–Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

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1086)”Anne Shirley: Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.”–Anne of Green Gables (1985)

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1087)”Billy the Kid: Here’s the deal. What I win, I keep. What you win, I keep.
Bill, Ted: Sounds good, Mr. The Kid!”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1088)”Young Biff: Why don’t you make like a tree and get out of here?
Old Biff: It’s *leave*, you idiot! “Make like a tree, and leave.” You sound like a d*** fool when you say it wrong.”–Back to the Future Part II (1989)

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1089)”Indiana Jones: [dressed as the ticket-taker] Tickets please.
Colonel Vogel: [in German] What?
[Indiana punches him, picks him up and throws him out a window into a pile of luggage; the other passengers look at him, bewildered]
Indiana Jones: [pointing out the window at Vogel] No ticket.”–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

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1090)”Gilbert Blythe: Psst! Carrots! Carrots!”–Anne of Green Gables (1985)

AnnofGreenGables

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1091)”Jessica Rabbit: I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.”–Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

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1092)”Doc: Marty! What in the name of Sir Isaac H. Newton happened here?”–Back to the Future Part II (1989)

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93)”[Henry, struggling with a Nazi for a gun, uses his fountain pen to blind the Nazi]
Marcus Brody: Henry, the pen.
Professor Henry Jones: What?
Marcus Brody: Well don’t you see? The pen is mightier than the sword.”–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

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1094)”Bill: [whispers in ted’s ear] Lyrics, dude, recite them some lyrics.
Ted: Oh, you beautiful babes from England, for whom we have traveled through time… will you go to the prom with us in San Dimas? We will have a most triumphant time!
[princesses giggle]
Bill: Way to go, dude!”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1095)”Anne Shirley: I defy anyone who would try and make me change.”–Anne of Avonlea (1987)

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1096)”Marty McFly: Hey, Doc! Where you goin’ now? Back to the future?
Doc: Nope. Already been there.”–Back to the Future Part III (1990)

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1097)”Professor Henry Jones: I misjudged you, Walter. I knew you would sell your mother for an Etruscan vase. But I didn’t know you would sell out your country and your soul… to the slime of humanity.”–Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

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1098)”Bill: Ted, while I agree that, in time, our band will be most triumphant. The truth is, Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar.
Ted: Yes, Bill. But, I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen until we have a triumphant video.
Bill: Ted, it’s pointless to have a triumphant video before we even have decent instruments.
Ted: Well, how can we have decent instruments when we don’t really even know how to play?
Bill: That is why we NEED Eddie Van Halen!
Ted: And THAT is why we need a triumphant video.
Bill, Ted: EXCELLENT!”–Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

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1099)”Young Doc: No! It can’t be; I just sent you back to the future!
Marty McFly: No, I know; you *did* send me back to the future. But I’m back – I’m back *from* the future.
Young Doc: Great Scott!–Back to the Future Part II (1989)

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100)”Diana Barry: Gilbert told Charlie Sloan that you were the smartest girl in school, right in front of Josie.
Anne Shirley: He did?
Diana Barry: He told Charlie being smart was better than being good looking.”–Anne of Green Gables (1985)

IntelligenceisBeatiful

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For more of My Favorite Movie Lines List, go to The Movie List That Would Not Die

For more Adventures in Babysitting, go to Part IX: Adventures in Movie Lines

For more of Anne of Green Gables, go to Fashionably Postworthy

For more of Back to the Future, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Line List

For more on Clash of the Titans, go to Snakes on a Post

For more on Indiana Jones, go to And Away We Go

For more on Raiders of the Lost Ark, go to Do You Know Where Alex Is?

For more on Rocky III, go to Eye of the Tiger

For more on Say Anything, go to Boom Box of Love

For more on The Princess Bride, go to Inconceivable!

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Remember, Remember the 5th of November

Snakes on a Post: Chinese New Year

So Sunday the 10th was the start of the Chinese New Year, which is the year of the snake.

Hissssss

Hissssss

Since posting on the 10th would interfere with my Valentine’s Day posts, Romance is in the Air, I decided to save the Chinese New Year posts until after I finished it by posting on the last day of the New year, February 25th.

People born in the Year of the Snake are intelligent and wise; and usually thought of as great thinkers. Snakes are materialistic, prefer to work alone, and are easily stressed. Snakes are best with an Ox or Rooster. They’re worst pairings are with a Tiger, Monkey or Pig. Snakes are those born in 1917, 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001,  and 2013.

Some famous people born in the year of the snake are Ben Stiller, Bob Dylan, Charlie Sheen, Dennis Quaid, Desi Arnaz, Dolores del Rio, Edgar Allen Poe,  Jacqueline Kennedy, Pierce Bronsnan, Abraham Lincoln, Robert Downey Jr., Sarah Jessica Parker, and Tim Allen.

So to celebrate the year of the snake I am going to do my 13 favorite snakes/snake moments in film. For those of you expecting it, sorry to disappoint; I have never seen Snakes on a Plane so that film will not be taking any spot on my list. I just thought that it would be a fun parody title.

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13) Swiss Family Robinson (1960)

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One of the great disney classic films, this film and book are absoltely amazing.

It tells the story of the Robinson family, (they are Swiss), who are traveling to New Guniea but end up getting stuck in a storm, abandoned, and stranded on their broken ship. They pack up every bit of supplies they can and travel to the nearest place, a little island. The family consists of the father, mother, and three boys; Fritz (my fav the cute one), Ernst (the smart one), and Francis (the baby). The family creates a tree house and lives on the island going through many adventures; dealing with wild animals, saving a young teen, fighting pirates, etc.

Best Snake Scene: Fritz Fights an Anaconda

Okay, so Fritz is my favorite brother, as he is super manly and tough. At this point in the film, Fritz and Ernst are traveling through the island trying to see how big it is and what it holds. On the way they encounter pirates and save a young boy from becoming a pirate slave. This boy is super annoying, and they hate having to deal with him, but take him with them because they don’t feel right about leaving him to be traded. They are on their way home, with the boy in tow, when they have to cross a river. As they are crossing, Ernst gets attacked by an anaconda and Fritz acts all manly and cool wrestling with the snake to save Ernst’s life. Such a great brother!

For more on the Swiss Family Robinson, go to 25 More Films of Christmas

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12) Aladdin (1992)

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I loved Aladdin growing up as a kid. I used to watch the first and third one all the time, I remember that when I was in that little kid phase were you don’t want to take a bath, the only way my mom could get me in the tub willingly would be to promise me that I’d be able to watch Aladdin when I was done. I love all the songs in this film and committed them all to memory at an early age.

Aladdin is a retelling of a chinese tale in Arabian Nights or A Thousand and One Nights, tales that Scheherazade told her husband to keep herself alive each night, (for more on that go here).  In the disney story, Aladdin is an orphaned boy living with his monkey friend, Abu. The two are street rats, scrounging about for food and hiding from the castle guards. Every night Aladdin goes home and dreams of being rich and living in the palace, never worrying about anything. Meanwhile, Princess Jasmine is in the palace and has to marry by her sixteenth birthday. She hates every prince that has called on her and she feels they all are after her fortune. Also in the palace lurks Jafar, the evil vizier, who wants to take the throne for himself. He also is trying to get inside the fabled Cave of Wonders to get a lamp, but only a pure-hearted, diamond in the rough can enter. These three stories intersect when Jasmine sneaks out of the palace, only to be helped by Aladdin when she gets into trouble. The two run from guards and are caught, Jasmine revealing herself and going home, while Aladdin is sent to the dungeon. Jafar disguises himself and frees Aladdin convinced he is the perfect person to enter the cave. Aladdin is and does, but Abu brings the whole place toppling down when he tries to take something he is not supposed to touch. Aladdin gets stuck inside the Cave, but there he finds the Genie of the lamp and the adventure to capture the heart of the princess is on.

Best Snake Scene: Jafar is a Cobra

Near the end of the film, Jafar has stolen the lamp from Aladdin and has taken over the kingdom. He has turned the sultan into a puppet and tried to turn Jasmine into a love slave (very Jabba the Hutt-esque), to little success. He had sent Aladdin far away, but with the magic carpet’s help Aladdin has returned to free the sultan, Jasmine, and the Genie from Jafar’s evil grasp. At one point when Aladdin is fighting Jafar, he calls Jafar a cowardly snake. At this insult, Jafar decides to actually become one, in fact a King Cobra. Man, Jafar is so creepy here, I was just begging for Rikki-Tikki-Tavi to come save everybody.

For more on the Aladdin, go to Diamond in the Rough

16741-Slimy_Stretch_Mini_Schlange-Halloween_Dekoration-Snake11) Hercules (1997)

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In Hercules, Hercules is born to the gods Zeus and Hera. Hades wants Hercules killed so he send his two minions to first turn Hercules mortal and to then kill him. With Hercules dead,  Hades’ plan to rule Olympus will be complete. The only problem is, Hades’ minions are very incompetent and fail to complete their mission. Hercules is turned mortal, but still retains his super strength. He is adopted and raised by mortal parents, but eventually journeys to the temple of Zeus to figure out who he is as he knows he doesn’t belong with the others. He finds out he is the son of Zeus and the only way to take back his rightful spot on Olympus and become a god is if he becomes a “true hero”. From the temple he travels to see the satyr Philoctetes and train to be a hero. From that point on Hercule is involved in all kinds of monster fights as he is eager to prove himself a hero and Hades is eager to be rid of him.

Best Snake Scene: Hercules destroys the snakes

When the minions are going to kill Hercules they first give him mortal juice, but fail to give him every last drop. Therefore Hercules keeps his super strength. The minions change into snakes and attack Hercules, but the little cute baby is able to completely trounce them. He is so cute when he does it too! A sweet lil’ bouncing baby knotting up the snakes and throwing them far away.

(Start at 10:33)

For more on the Hercules, go to Love Makes You Do Crazy Things: Hercules (1997)

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10)The Odyssey (1997)

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The Odyssey tells the story of Odysseus, from his fighting in Troy, and all his adventures as he tries to get home. It was a very big cast with Isabella Rosallini, Bernadette Peters, Vanessa Williams, and Armand Assante.

Best Snake Scene: When Laocoön gets killed

So Odysseus comes up with the idea to create a huge wooden horse and hide all the soldiers in it; pretending that the Greeks have left and given a surrender gift, aka the Trojan Horse. Only one person doesn’t trust that this “horse” is a “gift”, Laocoön. Laocoön is an adviser for King Priam, and he tells everyone that the horse is probably a trick and they should destroy it. Right after he declares this, a giant sea serpent comes out of the ocean and kills him and his family. Immediately everyone believes that since Laocoön was killed by a creature sent by the gods, everything he said should not be trusted and take the horse into Troy, ultimately sealing their doom.

I know it is another language and I’m sorry it was the only way I could find a clip. Start watching from 4:21

16741-Slimy_Stretch_Mini_Schlange-Halloween_Dekoration-Snake9) Cleopatra (1934)MPW-32754

Now when most people think of Cleopatra they instantly think of Elizabeth Taylor in the famous 1963 film. But before that movie came out Cecil B. DeMille (one of my fav directors) did a version with Claudette Colbert.

This film tells the same story of the last Egyptian Pharaoh and everything she did to try and keep her power. She tries to get Julius Caesar to help her, by seducing him, and after he is killed; switches her affections to Mark Anthony. But with Anthony and Octavius (Julius’ adopted son and also known as Augustus) fighting for control of Rome, all does not go well for the star-crossed lovers.

Best Snake Scene: Suicide by Asps

Now I’m not one to encourage suicide, but it was probably the best option she could have taken. There was no way for her to escape and if she was taken to Rome, she’d be tortured, raped, or killed. When they have Cleopatra commit her final act, Colbert does it so well. She is so stately, all the way up to the end; a true Queen of Egypt.

Start at 2:43

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8) The Jungle Book (1967)

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This is the original Disney version and based on the novel by Rudyard Kipling. In the story Mowgli is a man cub raised by wolves. Ten years pass by and when news of Shere Khan, the great tiger, has returned to the jungle they decide to send Mowgli back to the Man village. Bagheera, the panther, tries to take him back but they get interrupted by Kaa, the snake who tries to eat him, and Baloo a slothy bear who discourages Mowgli from returning to the world of men. Mowgli meets other crazy characters such as King Louie the Orangutan, Colonel Hathi the Elephant, and a group of Vultures who act like The Beatles.

Best Snake Scene: Kaa & Hypnosis

Kaa is pretty scary, being a python, but the creepiest thing about him is the way he hypnotizes people. He uses his power to attempt to not only eat Mowgli, but Bagheera as well.

For more on the The Jungle Book, go to A Little Monkey Business: Chinese New Year

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7) Fools Rush In (1997)

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Straight-laced Alex (Matthew Perry) is visiting Las Vegas to oversee a construction project and has a one night stand with free-spirited, Mexican-American Isabel Fuentes (Selma Hayek). Alex figures he would never see her again, but three months later she comes back into his life letting him know that she is pregnant. The two decide to do “the right thing”, and get married. But can they overcome their cultural differences?

Best Snake Scene: When Alex gets a snake bite.

So Alex goes out hunting with Isabella’s brothers to bond with them, but unfortunately things don’t quite as he had planned. As Alex is running about trying to connect with Isabel’s family, he gets caught in a rattlesnake nest. The brothers shoot to kill the snake, and Alex gets so scared he runs, right into some cacti. To combat the pain, Isabel’s brothers give him a LOT of tequila. This was always one of my favorite scenes in the movie.

 

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6)Clash of the Titans (1981)

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This version is nothing like the true story of Perseus in mythology but much better than the remake recently made in 2010.

In Clash of the Titansthere are two demigods that are the strong crucial characters. One of them is Calibos, son of Thetis, who is engaged to marry the Princess Andromeda. However, Calibos has killed all of the winged pegasi and this is just the last thing in Zeus’ list of grievances that Calibos has committed. To punish him, Zeus turns him into a hideous monster. Thetis is very angry, and in revenge has Perseus, Zeus’ son of a mortal woman, sent to Joppa. There Perseus sees Andromeda and falls in love with her; but unfortunately she is now under a curse, and if her riddle is answered falsely than the suitor is burned at the stake. (Her predicament resembles the princess in The Traveling Companion by Hans Christian Anderson). Perseus is able to solve the riddle, but unfortunately Andromeda’s life is once again threatened, this time by the Kraken, and he has to go on an adventure to find something to defeat it.

Best Snake Scene: Fighting Medusa

Medusa was a gorgan, and once very lovely until she angered Athena and was cursed with not only snake for hair, but if one looked into her eyes they would be turned to stone. Perseus goes after her to get her head so that he can use it to turn the Kraken into stone and save Andromeda. Now I’ve always imagined Medusa as a beautiful woman with snake hair, much like Uma Thurman’s portrayl in Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)However, in Clash of the Titans they take it once step further, giving Medusa the whole body of a snake, they even gave her a rattler at the end of her tail. I love her hair the most though, as it is constantly moving and squirming; just as it should be.

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5) The Chipmunk Adventure (1987)

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In The Chipmunk Adventure, the chipmunks and chipettes wish they could take a trip around the world. They are overheard by an eccentric millionaire brother and sister. The two  agree to finance the trip, and include a prize of a $100,000 to the ones who finish first. All the chipmunks and chipettes have to do is take two separate routes by hot air balloon, and make several exchanges of little chipmunk and chipette dolls as proof they traveled to the places they said they would. Who will win? As always music and hijinks ensue.

Best Snake Scene: “Getting Lucky

At one point in the film the chipettes are captured by a pre-pubescent sultan who is determined to make Brittany his wife. The girls split up as Eleanor goes off to take care of some things and Brittany & Jeanette go after the dolls (they were taken from them earlier and are needed to win the contest). When the two girls find their lost dolls, they discover that they are being guarded by snakes. Always quick thinkers, the girls decide to charm them–the only way they know how-through music. I love this song and dance number!

For more on Alvin and the Chipmunksgo to On the 6th,5th,4th,3rd,2nd, & 1st Days ‘Til Christmas: The Music of Christmas

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4) Robin Hood (1973)images

Robin Hood (1973) is the Disney version in which all the characters are cartoon animals. Robin Hood and Maid Marian are foxes, Little John a bear, Prince John a lion, etc. It tells the story of the legendary bandit in abbreviated form. Robin Hood plays tricks on Prince John and the Sheriff, he competes in the archery contest in disguise, dances with Maid Marian, and has to save the day. I love this movie as it is Disney at its best.

Best Snake Scene: Anything With Sir Hiss

How do I describe Sir Hiss? Well he is the Cassandra of the Disney world. He is an advisor to Prince John; has a strong head on his shoulders and good intuition about people. The only problem is no one listens to him. He tries to warn Prince John countless times that those gypsy women are probably bandits trying to rip him off, (they are in fact Robin & Lil’ John) and later that the Duke of Chutney is not a real Duke, (once again right as it is Lil’ John). Sir Hiss is one of the characters you have a love/hate relationship with; but he for sure makes the scenes hilarious. He’s such a brownnoser, but funny all the same. “Mere slip of the forked tongue.” “Snakes don’t walk they slither.”

For more Robin Hood, go to Oh Oh De Lally

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3) Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)600full-indiana-jones-and-the-raiders-of-the-lost-ark-poster

In Raiders of the Lost Ark  we are introduced to Indiana Jones; archeologist and total superhero. He travels about and takes down the bad guys that trying to steal treasures for private collections. This film is the first in the series, and has Indiana on a search for the lost Ark. He has an old flame reappear, bouts with a villainous archeologists, and has to deal with a lot of Nazis.

Best Snake Scene: “Why’d It Have to Be Snakes?”

Indiana is afraid of snakes, deathly afraid of them. He just abhors being around them. At this point in the film, Indiana has discovered where the Ark is located and he and his men have completed digging for it. He is just about to climb down into the area when he discovers his worse fear is waiting for him. The line “Snakes. Why’d it have to be snakes?“; has become a universal saying for when everything seems to have just gone down the crapper.

 

For more Indiana Jones, go to And Away We Go

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2) Conan the Barbarian (1982)

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In Conan the BarbarianConan’s family is killed by the evil Thulsa Doom’s warriors. Conan is enslaved and after years of servitude he is finally freed. He goes out on his own, becoming a thief and forming friendships with other thieves/wanderers. He is eventually brought before King Osric and asked by him to rescue his daughter from Thulsa Doom and the Snake Cult. Conan agrees because of his hatred for Thulsa Doom.

Best Snake Scene: James Earl Jones becomes a Snake. 

The evil villian Thulsa Doom is played by James Earl Jones. Thulsa Doom is the leader of the Snake cult and is a sorcerer. One of his powers is the ability to turn into a snake. When he does this during the film it is so cool, but really creepy!

For more on Conan the Barbarian, go to Conan the Librarian

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1) The Jungle Book (1994)

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The Jungle Book is pretty much what Disney used as their basis for the Tarzan film (both being Disney films). The Jungle Book 1994 version is not the cartoon version, this one is a live action film and the animals don’t talk. The film starts out with Mowgli’s father being a guide for some Englishmen who are patrolling India. One night Shere Khan attacks the camp as someone has broken the jungle rules, that is killed for sport instead of food. Mowgli is lost in the confusion and thought to be dead, later raised by animals. He is eventually found by his old compatriots, who attempt to be bring him back into society. He still has feelings for Kitty, a girl he played with as a child, but she is engaged to the hunter/poacher William Boone who wants to use Mowgli as a guide to Monkey City and the rumored King Louie treasure. Adventure ensues

Best Snake Scene: Kaa takes down William Boone. 

In this version of the story, Kaa is the protector of King Louie’s treasure. When a monkey steals Mowgli’s bracelet, (it was given to him by Kitty) Mowgli chases after him to Monkey City to retrieve it. There he has to fight Kaa to win his bracelet back. Later, when William Boone tries to steal all the riches for himself, he too has to fight Kaa. Finally this Will gets his just desserts.

For more on The Jungle Book, go to Redone Done Right

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For more Chinese New Year Posts, go to A Horse’s Tale: Chinese New Year

To go to the previous holiday post, go to Boom Box of Love: Say Anything (1989)