So that means it is time to review a TV episode for TV Tuesday
Vampires are coming to Riverdale
This came on the VHS with Attack of the Killer Spuds. This was a pretty good series of episodes, although I thought the end made no sense.
So this storyline is told in three parts; a Vampire Tale in Three Acts. Originally I was going to do them all together, but I have been trying to review this since the first Horrorfest, and every time I find mysef unable to do it . That’s six years of trying.
Wow
So I have decided that I will review each episode individually. I know that makes it a little odd to have so many TV episodes, but I am ready to get this done.
Act One: Scarlet Night
“Cross of silver, ray of light, in ender’s hand, shall end the night”
The film starts out with Veronica having this strange dream of a Vampire attacking her, only to destroy him with an antique cross necklace. She laughs off the freak only to be scared by a redheaded girl.
The next day she is telling Betty about her dream, mostly laughing it off. They meet up with Jughead and Archie. Then a new girl enters the scene
Redhead Ah!
A new girl has moved to town, and she looks exactly like the girl in Veronica’s dream.
Her name is Scarlet Helsing (like Van Helsing) and she promptly takes Archie off to discuss his article and her own “weird mysteries”.
Hmm…
This makes Veronica very angry.
Betty and Veronica are determined to get Archie back, Betty going on the computer to research her, while Veronica decides to follow them.
Veronica is driving around not paying attention to anything, when she crashes right into Dr. Strange’s Mystical Shop. No, it’s not the Dr. Strange, although he does remind me of him, Dr. Beaumont is the proprietor. As Veronica is picking up Dr. Beaumont’s spilled items, she sees a necklace, an amulet to be exact.
Just like the one in her dream.
Dr. Beaumont tells Veronica that it is the Ender’s Stone.
“Cross of silver,
Ray of light,
In Ender’s Hand,
Shall end the night.”
He tells Veronica that there is a prophecy, that on Halloween this year, the sun will set and never rise again, beginning the reign of the Vampires!
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile, in Pop’s Chocklit Shop, Scarlet is telling Archie the same thing. She has been researching the event and discovered that the only one who can save them is the Ender using the Sun stone or Amulet. Scarlet doesn’t know who the Ender is, as the book wasn’t complete. BUT does know that it is a girl.
Does this sound familiar to you?
How about her?
Yes, this series of episodes are a parody of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. While the Master looks like the Master in Buffy the Vampire (TV Series), the rest of it resembles more of the 1992 film than the show.
In the 1992 film, Buffy was a valley girl, uber rich, and a cheerleader who only cared about fashion. In Archie’s Weird Mysteries (AWM), Veronica talks in a valley girl voice, is uber rich, and a cheerleader who only cares about fashion. Both don’t want to be a Slayer or Ender, trying to pass it off to others, but find themselves accepting the role when push comes to shove.
Also the way the Vampires look and float everywhere resembles the 1992 film more than the TV show.
All right, let’s get back to the review.
So Dr. Beaumont, after hearing Veronica’s dream, decides that she must be the chosen one. He gives her the amulet and takes off.
Veronica does not want the amulet or to be the chosen one.
She decides to head over to Pops to find Archie. After all, he’s the Weird Mystery expert, he should know what to do.
While Archie and Veronica are talking in the parking lot, two vampires come up behind them and begin chasing them, trying to bite them.
They manage to climb a building, but when the Vampires follow them there, they jump off, using a vampire to break their fall.
Back on solid ground, they spot Dr. Beaumont’s Shop, and as he forgot to lock the door, they hide inside it. Veronica is even more convinced that she is not the Ender, and gives the necklace to Archie. But while inside Veronica spots an open book. She reads the pages and sees another prophecy about the Ender.
“Raven and Red upon their heads,
Destiny awakens,
One girl is the Ender,
While the other is mistaken.”
Before she can think about what it means, Archie tells her the coast is clear and that they should make a run for it. They discover that it was really a trap, as the Vampires are waiting outside the doors. The Vampires attack, but they manage to fight them off and run.
As they run, they run right into Scarlet.
How did she just happen upon them? Sounds suspicious. I think she’s evil.
Scarlet takes down the Vampires, knocking them out. When Archie asks how she found them, she tells him she was “lucky” and that she has been following Archie to “help him.” Yeah, I don’t think so. This girl is crazy. Step away, step far, far, away.
Her in this case
And following him? Hello stalker.
Archie needs to hang out with Betty more, she’s the only normal one here.
Anyways, Veronica is convinced that any girl who can beat up a couple of Vampires, must be the Ender. She decides to head home, while Archie and Scarlet go to his place.
Back at Veronica’s mansion, Betty calls. It turns out that she has some very interesting news about Scarlet from her old school. It is really old, as Scarlet went to high school over 200 years ago!
That means only one thing. She is a Vampire!!!
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Veronica collects her things and sets out for Archie’s place.
Back at the Andrews residence, Archie gives Scarlet the amulet, telling her that he thinks she is the Ender. Scarlet refuses, Archie argues and while he is doing so, he notices something weird. Scarlett has no refecltion in the mirror!!!
Scarket is a vampire!!!
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scarlet can walk around during the day, like the other vampire minions, as long as she stays in her human form. It was her job to find and kill the Ender, so that nothing stood between the Master and the Eternal night. He needs Eternal night as he cannot roam during the day. As Scarlet has revealed all, she settles down to feed on Archie.
When she is stopped by…Jughead with a hamburger!
Yes, Jughead stuffs a GARLIC hamburger in Scarlet’s mouth, while he, Betty, and Veronica pull Archie out of the house through the window. Archie grabbing the necklace on his way out.
Veronica quickly grabs the necklace and thrusts it upwards, using it to kill the vampires. Archie & the gang have not only won, but Veronica discovered she is capable of much more than shopping.
Dracula. Dracula: not myth, nor ravings of a mad Irish novelist, oh no. He’s real, I assure you.
A long time ago, AMC used to do Fear Fridays. Every friday night at 8 they would show a horror film, and not stop until early Saturday morning. But then they pushed it back to 9, then 10, then 11, then 12, then 1 am, then 2 am; still calling it Fear Friday although it was actually Saturday morning. And then they just stopped doing it, which deeply saddened me as I saw many a good, creepy film those Friday nights.
Why did it end?
This however, wasn’t one of those good movies.
My sister and I saw this on one of those Friday nights and I hated this film. I thought it was dumb, stupid, boring, made no sense and couldn’t hold a candle to Bela Lugosi in Dracula (1931). And I vowed to never see it ever again.
Last week, my friend and I were having a horror film marathon. We saw Once Bitten and then were in the mood for a more serious film. She was going through the list and wanted to see Dracula 2000 as she has never seen it before. I was like
She then asked me what the film was about, if I could give her a summary, and I tried to tell her…
Uhhhhhhh
But I couldn’t remember. The only thing I could think of was that it had Johnny Lee Miller (who played Mr. Knightley in Emma (2009) and Edmund Bertram in Mansfield Park (1999) as the regular person thrust in the adventure (the only character I liked); Gerald Butler as Dracula (the reason I watched it the first time) but he was so young that it didn’t even look like him and I hated his character; a weird scene in the record store; and that I hated it. Why did I hate it, I couldn’t remember. The movie must have been so horrible I just wiped it from my memory banks.
Since I couldn’t remember it, and thought maybe I was too harsh a judge, we decided to watch it and see if it was different this go round.
I HATED IT!
I thought it was horrible and stupid. So you know what that means! A countdown!!! Yes, let’s go over everything I liked (barely anything) to everything I hated (practically everything!)
Synopsis:
The film is supposed to be Dracula set in modern times rather than 1831, so the year is 2000. In London, Matthew Van Helsing (Abraham’s descendent) has an antique store in which he is training Simon (Johnny Lee Miller). That night everyone but Matthew goes home, and unbeknownst to him his secretary Solina is part of a ring of thieves that breaks into his vault. They find nothing in there but crosses and a coffin, taking it as it must be valuable.
But something terrible lurks inside.
When Matthew discovers the theft, he goes after them, leaving Simon to watch over the business. However, Simon is worried about his mentor and follows him instead.
The thieves open the coffin and reveal that it is Dracula (Gerald Butler) who turns them all into vampires.
Renfield: He came and stood below my window in the moonlight. And he promised me things, not in words, but by doing them. Van Helsing: Doing them? Renfield: By making them happen. A red mist spread over the lawn, coming on like a flame of fire! And then he parted it, and I could see that there were thousands of rats, with their eyes blazing red,l ike his, only smaller. Then he held up his hand, and they all stopped, and I thought he seemed to be saying: “Rats! Rats! Rats! Thousands! Millions of them! All red-blood! All these will I give you! If you will obey me!” Van Helsing: What did he want you to do? Renfield: That which has already been done! [giggles sinisterly]
He then heads to New Orleans, LA. There lives Mary Heller, a devout Catholic, who has had strange dreams/visions her whole life but they seem worse now than ever before. She keeps seeing this man, unsure of who he is, but us viewers know him as Dracula.
Simon and Matthew team up and try to destroy the new vampires, Simon originally shocked but after being attacked admits they are real. Matthew then reveals his secret, he is really Abraham Van Helsing, the Van Helsing.
[Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]
When he discovered nothing worked to kill Dracula, he imprisoned him in a coffin and took his blood to keep him young as he continued to try to find a way to destroy him. He was married and they had a daughter Mary, and in her blood is Dracula’s blood. When he told his wife the whole story, she left him and took his daughter to America.
Dracula has lost his male vampires, but has three wives: Solina, the secretary; Valerie, a news reporter; and Lucy, Mary’s best friend. Simon and Helsing split up to look for Mary, Helsing being killed by Dracula and the wives at Mary’s house. Simon finds Mary and they escape, only for Mary to be captured later. Simon tries to help her; but is no match for all the vampires.
Before Dracula turns Mary into a vampire, he reveals that he is Judas Iscariot and that is why he hates silver and crosses. He tried to hang himself, but the “rope broke” and God turned him into a vampire.
I know. He turns Mary into a vampire, but I guess her already vampire blood counteracts it as she is not his slave.
She saves Simon, kills Dracula, and decides to continue the family business (although if she killed Dracula it is over) turning into a female Blade, kinda-sorta.
So What Was Good?
There was only one thing I liked in this entire film, and that was Johnny Lee Miller’s character, Simon.
Simon was extremely likable because he was just a regular person thrown into this situation and trying to make sense of it. All his reactions are spot on to when he thinks people are crazy to finally becoming a butt-kicking vampire hunter. He is kind, compassionate, caring, intelligent, and extremely witty.
Marcus: [Simon produces a cross] Sorry sport. I’m an atheist.
Simon Sheppard: [a dagger pops out of the cross’ base] God loves you anyway.
The other thing I like about him was how he represented the everyman or everywoman. Here is a guy who has read old inscriptions, heard stories, studied antique weaponry, etc; but studying and hearing it is much different than having to use it, have the myths be real, and be expected to hunt down vampires. He tries his best as he discovers this new reality, and even though he makes mistakes, all is forgiven as he is us, the viewer, in a sense. I thought he was fun and the best thought out thing in the film.
I like it!
So What Was Bad?
Everything else. Seriously, I mean it. The rest of the film was absolutely horrid.
1) Too Many Stars
Like Scre4m it is hard to focus on a plot of a film when you are being hit right and left with people who are really famous. In every scene it felt more like a game of “Which Star Will Pop Up Next” rather than watching a film about Dracula. I mean we have Shane West, Christopher Plummer, Johnny Lee Miller, Omar Epps, Nathan Fillion, Vitamin C, etc. When casting you really have to be careful and not have too many recognizable people, or else your audience will be going bug-eyed.
2) For a Dracula film there isn’t a lot of Dracula in it.
Dracula is supposed to be about Dracula; but Dracula actually has a small role in this film. And unlike previous films, Dracula wasn’t even played by a big star with top billing; instead they choose Gerald Butler who had very little on his acting resume at the time this film was made. To me that is incredibly strange as he is the main character, THE TITLE CHARACTER. He should be the star, the biggest personality. Instead Dracula has very little dialogue and spends most of his time just creepily staring at people.
He’s creepin’ in your windows. He’s starin’ at your people.
I didn’t like that, not one bit. As much as I disliked Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and I did a lot, at least that one knew what to focus on,DRACULA! It was a weird decision made by the writers, and a bad one.
3) Mary, Mary Quite Boring
Mary was so boring! I mean it what a yawnfest. All she did was cower, snivel, and act as if she was going to have a breakdown. Her character was bland and completely underdeveloped other than “good”, “Catholic”, and “British”. Now don’t get me wrong, the breakdown character can work but only in films where it is about psychological damage, like Rebecca, Gaslight or Under Capricorn, not a monster movie. In this type of film that kind of behavior is boring!
4) Taking Blood to Live Longer, Yet He Doesn’t Become a Vampire
In the book Dracula, the way to have someone become a vampire is to give them vampire blood. In this film Van Helsing keeps transfusing vampire blood into his body to live longer, but doesn’t become a vampire. That makes zero sense! If you ingest vampire blood you are a vampire. Pure and simple.
5) Dracula is Judas
Yes. It turns out the reason Dracula hates silver, crosses, bibles, Christianity, etc…is because he is Judas.
Why would God turn him into a vampire? Why would God create a being that cannot be killed but kill his people making their souls unable to move on? That is just unbelievably dumb.
I mean if the devil was the one who did it, it would still be really dumb, but make a lil’ more sense.
So yes it was dumb, incredibly dumb. Just stupid and horribly boring. My advice? Just skip it.
And after we finished the film, I asked my friend “What do you think of it?” Her response:
We could have been killed. Worse than that we could have been caught.
By those men? Those aren’t men they are the living dead!
So zombie films have been extremely popular the last few years, they have encountered many changes; but they all owe it to this movie. Yes this is the first full length feature film about Zombies. Instead of biting or disease; this man makes Zombies through Voodoo, poison, drugs, and his eyes!
I first became aware of this film when I watched 50 Greatest Horror Classics Collection. I know that I have been reviewing films I didn’t like these past few days, so here we go with one I do.
Now one things that this film doesn’t really do, is explain exactly how he does the zombie-fying and mind control. This was explained in the sequel, Revolt of the Zombies (1936)
This film has a very interesting background. The film was thought lost until found in the 1960s, there it went a serious court battle as multiple people fought for ownership.
It only took eleven days to film but it was such a hit when it premiered. It did so well, that Lugosi regretted taking a salary instead of a percentage.
Vat have I done?
Well I think that is enough talking about it, shall we move on to the review?
So the film starts off with a young couple, Neil Parker and his fiancé Madeline Short. They have just arrived in the West Indies. Neil has a job out there and went for Madeline. They planned to marry as soon as they touched the port, but they meet Charles Beaumont who presented them with a better job offer, and they are headed to his house and to be married tonight.
If only they knew what was coming.
As they are driving in the buggy, they come upon a funeral in the middle of the road.
It sounds strange, but they do that so people don’t dig them up and use them with voodoo, or turn them into zombies, the living dead.
Then “Murder” Legendre, Bela Lugosi, come upon them with his group of Zombies. He steals Madeline’s scarf, and stares at her with his creepy eyes.
The driver, fearful, takes off at the speed of light.
“Neil Parker: We could have been killed.
Driver: Worse than that we could have been caught!
Madeline Short: By those men?
Driver: Those aren’t men they are the living dead. Zombies!
The driver warns them they should leave, but the couple are suspicious of zombies actually existing. Yet at the at the same time:
They are startled when they come upon the minister, having arrived at the Beaumont mansion for their wedding. They ask about zombies, and the minister, Dr. Bruner, says he has been a missionary there for over thirty years and he has seen a lot of strange things occur.
Hmm…
They tell Dr. Bruner about what happened, meeting Beaumont on the boat, the job, etc. The Dr. thinks this is very odd.
Something strange is going on
This Beaumont they describe is nothing like the selfish, pushy, take over man that he knows. Everything about their situation smells bad, and he warns the couple to leave as soon as possible.
That makes TWO warnings! They need to leave!
And run fast
When the couple arrives, Mr. Beaumont doesn’t want to see them.
But then he changes his mind.
Okay this behavior means that there is something else going on here with Beaumont.
The butler agrees it is for the best to approach them as the minister is questioning why Beaumont is being so kind. He greets them but then has to leave while everyone prepares for the upcoming wedding.
Madeline is getting ready when she looks out the window and sees Beaumont get into a buggy with a man. When we zoom there, the man is emotionless, glazed over, dead eyes, a zombie!
Mr. Beaumont reaches a work area and sees 20 or 30 of these same walking dead. All empty eyed, slaves, and ZOMBIES!
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legendre greets Mr. Beaumont and puts out his hand, but is ignored as Beaumont sees him as “beneath” him. Legendre then explains about his little operation: about how the dead don’t care about long hours, breaks, food, money, etc. He tries to sell the idea to Beaumont, but business is not on his mind. Instead his mind is on Madeleine.
He desperate to have her and is trying to get Legendre to stop the wedding. He thinks that if he took her away for a while she would change her mind. But Legendre does not think that will work, women will not forget so soon.
Beaumont pleads with him to do something, anything!
I must have her!
Legendre says that he has one way to do it..all Beaumont has to do is give her a tiny bit of this potion in her drink or on a flower and it will enable him to have what he desires.
Beaumont doesn’t want to do it that way but Legendre tells him that is impossible, there is no other choice.
That might Madeline is getting ready for her wedding, the church is all decorated. Mr. Beaumont walks her down the aisle pleading with her to marry him instead of her fiancé. Madeline kindly refuses.
See ya!
He promises to stop, after one last thing, giving her a rose. Madeline accepts, but little does she know that rose has been tainted with poison and will bring only death!
Madeline takes the hand of her love and the ceremony to twine them begins, but out in the courtyard Legendre lurks getting ready his magic.
He takes the scarf he stole from her earlier, and wraps it around a wax candle. He looks like the devil with his beard and eyebrows.
Creepy!
He carves the wax candle, quickly creating the figure of a woman. And then he stares with his eyes…
They all toast and are happy.
Neil Parker [Jokingly to Madeline] “Gypsy read my fortune.”
She looks into his cup and says “i see happiness, love, I see…” But then she sees Lugosi, with fiery demon eyes in her cup…
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She then says “I see death”
Immediately she falls down, and we see Lugosi’s eyes, knowing he is controlling her body and spirit.
A funeral is held and Madeline is to be buried.
Neil goes to a bar to drink, upset, heartbroken and seeing her everywhere. All are happy while he is the one in utter misfortune.
Her apparition appears to him, but he can’t reach her.
That night Beaumont and Legendre are in the graveyard and they see zombies! Legendre isn’t surprised as they are his slaves. Many have fought against his spells, but Legendre overpowered them all and controls them.
The zombies remove Madeline’s casket from the tomb. Just then they hear her husband, drunk, trying to approach the tomb screaming out her name. The zombies quickly take her away to conduct the ceremony elsewhere.
Neil finds the grave empty and is distraught.
Dr. Bruner explains that there are two ways this could happen.
Her bones were taken away to be used in a ceremony by some natives on the island.
Or she is not dead.
Neil is in shock! Not dead? But he saw her! The doctor said!
The minster agrees but he has seen so many strange things on the island, it could be possible!
Neil thinks the idea of her being murdered so someone can steal her body is ridiculous. But then Dr. Bruner tries to explain that she isn’t really dead, but instead a type of parlor trick with drugs to make her appear dead.
WOW
But Neil doesn’t listen.
Come on, LISTEN TO THIS MAN! If you had in the beginning you never would have gotten in this mess.
Seriously
So Dr. Bruner explains about a type of drug that produces a deathlike sleep, only to have them “awaken later” and be a zombie, one of the “living dead. I knew about this as I had seen it before in TheFour Feathers, and read about how historically some witch doctors would do this. Because of that, I figured out a majority of Sherlock Holmes (2009).
They figure out that Beaumont must be the one behind this. Neil wants to take him to the authorities, but the minister reminds him they have no proof. Besides she died. No one would believe Beaumont pretended to kill her.
Beaumont has what he wanted and has desired or does he? He has the beautiful body of Madeline but something is missing from her. Her spirit.
She is an empty tomb, a shell of who she was, and it is driving Beaumont crazy!!!
He gives her the finest things money can buy, all that she could desire, but nothing changes in her eyes or look. Beaumont realizes his mistake and that he made a bad decision. He thought that just having her would be enough, but in reality he has nothing.
Beaumont begs Legendre to bring Madeline back. Legendre warns that Madeline won’t be happy as he just tried to control her. In fact she will most likely be furious. But Beaumont doesn’t care, he needs her. Legendre promises to bring her back and then the two have a toast. Don’t drink, it is a trap!!!!
After the drink, Lugosi reveals that he has done the same to Beaumont which he did to Madeline. He does not want to bring her back, as he has other plans for her,ones that Beaumont might not agree to.
Beaumont tries to get his butler to help him, but it is too late, he is under Legendre’s control as well.
The zombies come and carry the butler away, tossing him off the cliff, and all that is left is Beaumont and Legendre.
Dr. Bruner takes Neil to see the witch doctor.
Weird, right? He’s a minister. Doesn’t that go against what he represents?
Anyways, there they pick up a guide to take them up the mountain and to where Beaumont is housing Madeline. But Neil won’t listen.
That guy
Neil is trying to climb up the mountain but isn’t doing too well, he’s sick from a tropical disease or hangover.
Anyways, as they continue, you hear the vulture, the pet of Legendre; looming overhead, always watching. It reminds me of Maleficent’s bird in Sleeping Beauty.
Neil and Dr, Bruner argue over whether he should climb the mountain, Dr. Bruner thinking he is too sick too. Then they see Madeline looking over the balcony.
Neli calls out to Madeline hoping to reach her, but she still remains in her zombie state.
Beaumont has completely had a breakdown. No longer the powerful one, he too appears in a trance, the guilt of everything weighing down on him.
Legendre gave him a special type of poison, he is awake but in a trance and can’t talk, can’t move, a slave and awake inside knowing what he is going through and feeling it.
The shots and angles of this are beautiful. From framing Lugosi in the cross architecture, the stairs, etc. There is some beautiful, early, cinematography at play here.
So Lugosi sees Neil creeping up the stairs, but he is not really looking like a threat, as he is practically unconscious. Lugosi takes his hands and tries to work his spells on him, with his eyes, the third eye.
Madeliene wakes up from her bed and in a trance begins ro walk down thestairs. Searching, searching for what?
Madeline being framed in a cross architecture while wearing cross on her dress is almost a virginal sacrifice. Beaumont sees Madeline and wants to help but has no control over his body. She takes a knife from the table.
Legendre wants her to stab her husband Neil. She approaches him and is about to stab him when she stops. Something has come over her and she is unsure, but then Legendre’s eyes they call, her to do it,
She is just about to stab Neil when she is stopped by a person grabbing her arm and removing the knife.
A person dressed in black, who is it?
Legendre continues to try and control her but it does not work. She runs and Neil chases after her.
She runs to the hillside and looks over the water about to jump but stopped by Neil. He is happy to have her but Madeline remains motionless. Legendre comes followed by his zombie army.
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neil has a gun and shoots at the zombies but it doesn’t stop them or produce blood, as they are already dead.
The minster was the man in black! He smacks Lugosi in the head stopping him. All his zombies throw themselves over the cliff, as control is momentarily lost and they wish to remain dead! Madeline wakes up, the control has ended.
And all is good.
But no Legendre awakens, he is not one to be easily thwarted and begins to exact his control.
Neil and the minster chase after him, but are stopped when he throws some magic dust, burning their eyes.
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beaumont creeps dow the steps, and we only see his shadow. He knocks Legendre over the cliff, his vulture/spirit guide thing going too.
Madeline is awaken and reunited with her love.
And the bride and groom get to go off and have their honeymoon.
So happy Good Friday everybody. This year we have looked at very different mediums; a photograph, woodcut, and now a sculpture.
This piece is the Pietá by Michelangelo. He did this piece when he was extremely young, in his early twenties, and it shows his genius at sculpture. Even though Michelangelo could paint and sculpt, he never thought of himself as a painter. He always said that he saw the things he wanted to make in the marble, that it was alive and spoke to him; all it wanting was to be freed.
This piece is amazing. First of all it is not proportionate and Mary is too young; but Michelangelo wanted to create the essence of the person rather than the actual, realistic self. So let’s talk first about Mary.
We have the youthfulness of when she was told by an angel that she would be the mother of Christ. She is distraught at the death of her son, that she is holding his body in her lap.
Her body os much larger than Jesus’ is as to mimic the way the mother could hold a small child, their baby; which even though Jesus is an adult he is still her baby. Mary’s stance also mimics the way that mother’s would give birth in that time, the birthing stool. So in birth and death she is with her child.
Now let’s look at Jesus:
In his face we see no life in him, but that he died with a smile on his lips. He has fulfilled the plan of God and the great sacrifice; to save us and have us reign in heaven forever.
Also look at his body and hair, not to mention the folds of his clothes. They just look so real. As if they are two people under a cloth rather than carved out of marble.
Many people didn’t believe that Michelangelo created such an advanced piece of art, so he went back and signed his name in a large script. This is one of the few pieces to bear his signature.
“One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!” But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”–Luke 23: 39-43
“At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)…Someone ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink.”–Mark 15: 33-36
“When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.”–John 19: 30
“At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks splitand the tombs broke open…When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “Surely he was the Son of God!”–Matthew 27:51-54
“So as evening approached,Joseph of Arimathea, a prominent member of the Council, who was himself waiting for the kingdom of God, went boldly to Pilate and asked for Jesus’ body…Joseph bought some linen cloth, took down the body, wrapped it in the linen, and placed it in a tomb cut out of rock. Then he rolled a stone against the entrance of the tomb.”–Mark 15: 42-46
Right. I’m the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping.
So I’m sure a lot of you are surprised. What Buffy the Vampire Slayer is this? Well before we had this:
We had this:
In 1992, Joss Whedon’s idea of a Californian cheerleader finding out she was actually the vampire slayer of her generation, came to theaters. Only one problem, Whedon HATED it.
In fact he hated it so much, that he was reported to walk off set one day and never come back.
Five years later, Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series came out, one that stayed true to his “vision”.
So What Went Wrong?
Apparently the screenwriters felt that Whedon’s story was too dark and depressing. They wanted it to be more of a horror-parody comedy, kind of like Heathers with vampires instead of a homicidal maniac. Whedon wasn’t interested in that, as you can tell with his much darker TV series.
Joss Whedon to a T
So Is this Film Bad?
Let’s get down to the review and find out:
The film starts out with a historical piece. A medieval woman who has the birthmark (a mole), proving she is the Vampire Slayer of this generation. We switch from a very serious moment of her asking to “become the blade”.
And fighting Vampires.
And then we switch to Los Angeles and a group of cheerleaders chanting.
And Miss Buffy Summers, cheerleader extraordinaire, fashionista, and a total valley girl.
Yeah, that is pretty much the essence of the movie. They try to pin together opposites. And is it horrible? No. I love it. It is so quirky and funny. And come on, a cheerleader by day and vampire slayer ay night? That’s awesome.
So as I’m reading the credits and as I have seen this movie before I didn’t think think I would see anything important, but then Paul Reubens…wait, what?!
Pee-Wee is in a teen film? Pee-Wee Herman is in a vampire film? PEE-WEE?!!! PEE-WEE??!!! PEE-WEE HERMAN is in a TEEN VAMPIRE FILM?
How could I have missed that? Huh. And Hilary Swank? Ugh! I hate her. Ever since she ruined the Karate Kid series.
This was supposed to be her first film, so maybe she won’t be too bad. So Buffy and the gang go to the mall, shopping!
And there is something you might notice in this scene. While this movie came out in 1992, we hadn’t completely crossed over from the ’80s. You can kind of see it in the stonewash, abundance of leather, and in the “gothic” clothes of the vampire and “uncool” crowd, but most of it looks like this:
And I LOVE IT!
Anyways, so at the mall the girls are shopping when Buffy spots this totally rad jacket. And let me tell you, Buffy has a great sense of style
Her friend Kimberly (Hilary Swank), and let me just stop her and say that unless you are a pink ranger, having the name Kimberly means you are EVIL. I don’t know why, it just seems to be a trait that carries on with a name.
Anyways, she convinces her that the jacket is ugly and so yesterday.
When she is not shopping, she spends her time out with her jocky boyfriend, Jeffrey.
Jeffery is on the basketball team and one day after practice, his group splits up. Jeffery is heading over to hang out with Buffy, while two of the other guys go about town, and the last one, Robert heads home. And the route he chooses goes right through an abandoned amusement park.
Come on dude! You are going to go through an abandoned AMUSEMENT PARK????!!!!!! You are just asking to be killed.
And of course, he gets attacked by a Vampire and turned. Good-bye Robert.
Good-bye
So Jeffery is alright, but not altogether that interesting and handsome. Sorry dude, Luke Perry of the “uncoolness squad” is much better looking.
Luke Perry plays Pike, a leather wearing, motorcycle driving, mechanic. He lies above the garage that he works at. He is very dissatisfied with life him, only having one friend, Bennie (wonder if it is a nickname after the drugs, wouldn’t be surprised if it was), played by David Arquette (aw David, just can’t keep you out of Horrorfest). The boys spend most of their time drinking and making fun of those richer than them.
We then jump back to historical times so that we can get more of a background of Lothos. Lothos is the head Vampire that has destroyed every prior slayer. He is over 800 years old and has the power to hypnotize his enemies.
So for Buffy everything is going as usual. The only thing she has to worry about is the senior dance.
Buffy: [Trying to come up with an issues-related theme for their school dance] The environment.
Nicole: The homelesses?
Kimberly: [to Nicole] Oh, please.
Jennifer: Are there any good sicknesses that aren’t too depressing?
Buffy: Guys. The environment. I’m telling you, it’s totally key. The earth is in terrible shape, we could all die, and besides, Sting’s doing it.
You know that actually sounds difficult. From being on my high school’s prom comittee, I know that it is already hard enough trying to get the committee to come up with a theme and work on decorations and such. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to throw a “socially conscious” dance.
Buffy & co run into the uncoolness squad and there is definitely one thing this movie did wrong, they made the “undesirable” guys, undesirable. I mean come on, there is a formula to this thing! They are supposed to be secretly charming and adorable. Not pigs and boring because they have zero character development!
Both Pike and Bennie are super drunk and start hitting on the girls, incredibly gross style. Bennie even acts as if he is going to whip out his junk, and Buffy slices it.
Turns out it was just a hotdog, but it just goes to show you that Buffy is intense. I would not want to mess with her.
So one night as Benny is going home, he gets attacked by a vampire and turned. He goes to the window and tries to get Pike to come out and join him, but even in his alcohol induced state, Pike can tell something is not right.
Benny: Let me in, Pike. I’m *hungry*!
Pike: Go home, Ben.
Benny: [whining] C’mon I’m hungry.
Pike: You’re floating! C’mon, man, get away from here!
Pike can tell that things aren’t right and tries to leave the city, thinking anywhere is better than here. As he is fleeing town, he luckily is saved by a creepy dude.
You look like a pervert but I guess thank you?
So life is going good for Buffy, until the same perverted-looking, old, creep comes to kidnap her.
Nah, it’s actually Donald Sutherland who is Buffy’s watcher, Merrick. But he looks like a pervert and sounds UBER CREEPY. He tells her that he can show her “the birthmark mole of slayer, if he can look on her body”, and “Come with me to the graveyard”.
Apparently Sutherland thought decided to rewrite his dialogue, I’m not sure which lines but I’m guessing these ones as they suck. He’s creepier than Nicholas Cage in The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.
I mean did he not hear himself? Did he not hear how creepy he SOUNDS?!!!!!!!
The idea to update to a kindly, well-dressed, English, librarian was just perfect.
Buffy still doesn’t believe him. To prove it, Merrick tosses a knife at her and Buffy catches it.
Buffy: You threw a knife at my head!
Merrick: Yes, I had to show you.
Buffy: But… you *threw* a *knife* at my *head.*
Merrick: And you caught it. Only the chosen one could have caught it.
This scene is amazing. This is some Aragorn-awesomness right here.
So Buffy agrees to go down to the graveyard and wait for Robert to come out so she can kill him. Say what you want about this movie, but you have to admit this Buffy is pretty awesome. She’s tough, intense, and extremely brave.
While they are waiting, Buffy gets bored and asks him for gum.I don’t know why, but that line just cracks me up.
I think it is because Merrick is all super serious and trying to get Buffy to understand what’s happening, but Buffy is just bored.
Robert awakes and Buffy has to fight and take him down.
Buffy may come off as a a stupid, silly cheerleader, but she can seriously kick butt. When Merrick gets attacked, Buffy takes out, not one but two Vampires.
Afterwards, Buffy heads home for some serious relaxing with her boyfriend Jeffrey. There we meet her parents who are so out of it. Like in the film, Heathers, they are just selfish and only into themselves.
Buffy’s Mom: Bye-Bye Bobby!
Jeffrey: Bye! She thinks my name is Bobby?
Buffy: It’s possible she thinks *my* name’s Bobby.
I’m not sure which is worse, to have parents who completely ignore you and don’t seem to care a whit, OR a parent that ignores you most of the time, while punishing you the rest (Joyce Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series).
So her parents go on their merry way, an Buffy + Jeffery spend the night together.
We know what they’re doing
Later that night Buffy awakes to a strange man in her bed.
As Lothos is wakening, the past lives of Slayers are flooding into her and crossing over to her world. It is a very weird scene and for a while keeps you guessing as to what is real and what is all in her head.
So Buffy and Merrick begin her training. Merrick is really hard on her as they have to make up their years of training. I just wonder who’s fault is that?
They never explain why Merrick is just approaching Buffy now either. And since we are on the topic, Merrick sucks! He’s creepy, rude, and mean. He keeps pushing Buffy and blaming her, when she’s still trying to get her head around the fact that her life is completely different.
Buffy: All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die. Now it may not sound too great to a sconehead like you, but I think it’s swell. And you come along and tell me I’m a member of the hairy mole club so you can *throw* things at me?
Oh ’90s. When everyone was in love with Christian Slater. I know I was.
Sorry for that, moving back on track.
So Buffy is upset with Merrick as he is pushing her too hard and punches him out.
Buffy is a total knockout, literally as it only took one punch to take Merrick down.
Buffy: Oh, wow. I-I never hit anybody before.
Merrick: Really? Well you did it perfectly.
Buffy: I didn’t even break a nail.
Yep, Buffy is awesome!
Merrick gives her some background information on Slayers and Watchers. A slayer is born every generation, being reincarnated when killed (so if you watch the beginning again you’ll notice that Kristy Swanson plays the historical slayer). Merrick trains the girls, watches them die, and then when his life is up he is reincarnated into Merrick the watcher again. A very sad existence if you ask me.
After this we get a training montage, Rocky style.
Buffy has accepted everything and gets super into her training. You know it’s actually not that far-fetched that a cheerleader could be this totally awesome fighter. To be a cheerleader you have to do gymnastics, lift weights; it can be INTENSE. And with Buffy, she works hard.
She’s also been hunting at night with Merrick, and one night runs into Pike.
So because of all her training, she’s been missing practices and dance committee meetings. As always in a teen movie, the principal assumes it’s drugs.
Gary: [Thinking Buffy is doing drugs] Hey, there’s nothing to be afraid of! I know where you’re coming from. Believe me. I’ll tell you the truth. I’ve had my drug experiences, too. I did a lot – I did some acid in the Sixties. Well, the late Seventies, actually. It was at a Doobie Brother’s concert… and I could see the music flowing into me, it was bright red and electric, and I felt like a big toaster, and I thought, maybe I am a toaster, we’re all molecules, and my friend Melissa, her head looked like a big party balloon, and that scared me, I started to freak out…
The sad thing is that this is probably the only thing in a teen film that actually resembles reality. When people in power act as if they are a “pal”. Ugh.
So Buffy is really starting to feel the pressure of everything. She has Merrick constantly pushing her to do more and more; otherwise she won’t be ready and die. She has her boyfriend tired of the fact that she can’t spend her time with him, constantly getting mad at her. And she has her friends who don’t understand at all.
Kimberly: Buffy? What’s your sitch? You’re acting like the thing from another tax bracket. It’s too weird.
Buffy: Listen, a lot’s been going on you guys, okay? And I really wanted to talk to you guys about it. See, um, a couple of weeks ago, I met this guy-…
Kimberly: Oh my god, you’re having an affair?
Nicole: Cool!
Jennifer: Does Jeffrey know?
Buffy: It’s not about that. He’s, like, old. He’s fifty.
Kimberly, Nicole, Jennifer: Ewwwww!
Jennifer: Gross!
Buffy: Haven’t you guys noticed what’s been going on here? The strange things? Have you noticed people disappearing, turning up dead?
Nicole: What are you talking about?
Kimberly: Weird? You mean like hanging around with that homeless Poke?
Buffy: Pike.
Nicole: [gasp] Eww, you’re having an affair with him?
Jennifer: He doesn’t look fifty.
Buffy: Guys, I think reality stepped out of here about five minutes ago.
Yep, the pressure is mounting and to combat it, she goes Shawn Spencer on Merrick, quipping right and left.
Buffy: Does the word “duh” mean anything to you?
I love how sassy she is.
To make everything worse, it looks like Buffy’s period has come.
Yep, that pretty much sums it up.
but it turns out that it is just her Slayer sense.
Man that would suck.
Merrick: And you’re going to be able to use that to track them.
Buffy: Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That’s just terrific. Thanks for telling me.
Merrick: It’s not a weapon. It’s an alert system.
Buffy: Well, aren’t we kung fu? I don’t see you out there killing any vampires.
Merrick: I play my part.
Buffy: You can play with your part all you want, but it’s my neck on the block.
That night Pike is wandering around inebriated. And let me tell you I am totally not digging Luke Perry. He’s cute but that’s not enough. All we’ve seen so far is him getting high, drunk, and be nasty.
Now this is where the TV did a better job. Every person had a backstory. I mean when they brought Angel on to the show, they started him mysterious and cool, and then revealed his tragic backstory. We need MORE! We NEED a backstory! We NEED development!
One night Pike is drunk, AGAIN, and gets attacked by vampires. Luckily Merrick and Buffy are there. They save his life, AGAIN. As you have probably figured out, with Buffy being the totally awesome Slayer, Pike is her damsel in distress. I mean it’s not like he doesn’t do anything, he helps Buffy fight, becoming her partner, but still gets into trouble a lot. He’s the Sam Winchester to her Dean.
After the help him, they defeat Lothos’ right hand man Amilyn, by pulling a Star Wars and cutting off his arm. Amilyn returns to the vampire lair, with the knowledge of Buffy being the Slayer.
Meanwhile, Buffy takes Pike to her home. Pike is homeless (hence the fact that he was working as a mechanic for a home). The thing that really bothers me is that we never find out why. Were his parents horrible and he emancipated himself? Did they die? Is he an orphan? WHAT IS HIS BACKSTORY!!!!!!!!
Sorry about that. Back to the film.
So at Buffy’s home, Pike starts going on how awesome she is, but Buffy is having a hard time keeping it together. She breaks down on and lets out all her feelings.
And while we haven’t had too much development other than he’s from “the wrong side of town” and a drunk, he just listens to everything she has to say. He doesn’t try to take advantage of her, put the moves on her-nope. All he does is listen.
How sweet.
Instantly redeemed.
So the next day, Buffy is back to doing what she normally does. She is trying to hang out with her friends but the spawn of Satan, Kimberly (I’m telling you, don’t name your children that.)
Has turned them agaist her. Her boyfriend is also mad and avoiding her.
And some football player grabs her for fun.
But Buffy is not having any of that. She totally takes him down, making him learn his lesson.
Don’t mess with me!
Not kidding, after doing that this is what he says with a straight face: “I see the errors of my ways.” Hilarious & awesome!!!!
So something you might have noticed, is that there a quite a few people who have been turned into vampires. It is mostly those on the low side of the totem pole, you know the unpopulars. But there are a few popular kids too. I just wonder how no one has noticed. Well…I guess they do look pretty normal most of the time.
Hmmm….
So Buffy is going back to her regular schedule as there is a basketball game.
They do the cheer “how funky is your chicken, how loose is your goose”. Now years back when I was in middle school and only a select few had cellphones that could not get on the internet, and you couldn’t get on the school computers unless for schoolwork, people came to me with their movie questions. Now I know what you’re thinking:
But it wasn’t like that. Although how AWESOME would that be?????!!!! SUPER AWESOME!!!!!
Anyways you all know how much I love film,
Well everyone at school did too. So one of the girls was a cheerleader and they were bringing back the “how funky is your chicken, how loose is your goose” cheer. She knew it was a famous cheer and came to to find out which film it was from. I couldn’t remember the film it was first in, and when I saw this film years later i was like “of course, duh.” Oh well.
oh well
Anyways, back to the game. So Buffy is cheerleading when she notices something weird. One of the players looks completely different. It turns out that one of the guys has been turned, and as the adreneline starts pumping he starts vamping out.
And as he does so, he also starts becoming an awesome basketball player. I guess like in Teen Wolf, becoming something not human increases basketball skills?
Buffy is the only one to realize that he’s a vampire and ends up chasing him down. She finds herself in some weird place which is Lothos hideout. This is the worse place for a lair. I’m not kidding. Like there is a giant horse plant structure, and the whole place is just too obvious to be a secret hideout. Then again this is the most flamboyant Vampire I have ever seen, and he doesn’t care what others think of him.
Buffy meets Lothos and begins fighting with him, when he puts her in a trance and is about to kill her.
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
Merrick can’t stand that and interferes. A big watcher NO-NO. Watchers are supposed to train and then watch, no interfering.
And Lothos can’t have that. So he kills him.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?????????!!!!!!!!! THEY JUST KILLED THE WATCHER!!!!! CAN THEY DO THAT???
He’s not really dead is he? Is he? He is! He is DEAD???!!! WHAT??!!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED???!!!
Lothos and his horde leave, while Buffy hears Merrick’s dying words. He tells her she’s special and to d things HER way.
Buffy is shocked at the death and completely heartbroken.
She sufferes from shock of everything and wants to be done slaying. It scares her and hurts her and she just wants out.
She tries to hang out with her friends, but just finds them shallow and vapid. They are also selfish as they don’t want to invite every senior to the dance. Just the cool ones. She yells at them and takes off.
Her boyfriend is still ignoring her as well. She decides she is just going to be a “normal” girl and goes shopping for a dress. While she is searching for the perfect gown, she runs into Pike. The two have a huge fight as Pike can’t believe she is backing out and letting the world down.
Pike: Buffy, you’re the guy. You are the chosen guy.
Buffy: Right. I’m the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping.
Buffy just wants to be in denial as she is too scared. If she fights she will get hypnotized and die, maybe causing the death of others. If she doesn’t fight then Lothos and his group might kill a ton of people. What’s a girl to do.
After the two storm off, we discover that Benny has been hiding in the phone booth. He overheard everything and returns to the master to tell him all about it. When the master hears, he is estatic about the party and chooses it to be the best final moment of Buffy’s life.
So while Buffy is getting ready for the dance, Pike has decided to step up to the plate. He returns to his home above the mechanic shop, and grabs every bit of wood he can find, turning them into stakes.
Get ready for this!
So while I have complained about his lack of background (and it still bothers me) every scene after the one when he listened to Buffy he has risen up and up in my esteem.
How romantic
So Buffy goes to the dance and I absolutely love her outfit. She has her hair back in a no-nonsense bun, a beautiful puffy white dress, and boots. Yes boots.
It’s as if she subconsciously wanted to be ready in case something should happen. Her boots are actually white boxing boots
I can look pretty and feminine and kick butt.
It’s awesome how hardcore she is.
Take note Hollywood
So she goes over to her boyfriend, to ask why he didn’t pick her up for the dance. And it turns out that since she wasn’t around to give him what he wanted, he broke up with her on her machine and started dating her friend.
Buffy: You left me a message?
Jeffrey: You weren’t home! Like always.
Buffy: You broke up with my machine?
What a loser.
Come on, really? That’s so wrong. He’s a loser to the max. And how could her friend date him? That’s breaking the code!
The two leave to have sex in the parking lot and Buffy is left all alone. But not for long as Pike comes to the dance, dressed up in a button up shirt, slacks, and his leather jacket.
He brings Buffy flowers and asks her to dance with him.
How romantic
Okay, just gained 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 points! That was so sweet of him coming to the dance, especially since he’s not into that sort of thing but did it because he knew it would make her happy!
The Vampires come to the dance. Pike gives Buffy all his stakes and his jacket, while she rips her dress so it is shorter and doesn’t constrict movement. She runs to warn everyone to close the doors, as if we don’t invite them in they are unable to come. One problem, she forgot about an earlier conversation.
Buffy: Don’t worry. They can’t come in unless they’re invited.
Kimberly: I already invited ’em. [Buffy looks at her] They’re seniors!
Yes, Buffy was being a good person telling her friends to invite all seniors, and unknowingly just caused one huge problem.
Now when the Vampires come in we really reach a horror/comedy pinnacle. A Com-Ror as I like to say. It’s cheesy, but fun.
Except for the Vampire DJ, that was dumb.
So the fight begins. Some parts are silly, others creepy. I still haven’t gotten over seeing Pee-Wee Herman as a vicious vampire. It’s just does not compute that this is the same guy.
Benny tries to convince Pike to turn vampire, and in a bizarre way, channels Christian Slater’s character J.D from Heathers. Talking about people being sheep and this chaos is better, etc. That makes Pike his Winona/Veronica. The only problem is that Benny is nowhere near as hot.
So they kids inside are following Pike and Buffy’s lead trying to take down the vampires, while Buffy heads out to do a throwdown with Lothos.
She takes down Pee-Wee, his right hand man (horrible death scene) and heads down to Lothos. The two fight, with Buffy surprising him with a flame torch made out of hairspray and a cross.
AWESOME!!!
She then stakes him! BUFFY ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She and Pike ride off on his motorcycle, as the dumb principal hands out detention slips to the dead vampires:
Gary: [Throwing detention slips on the dead vampires] Detention [Walks to another body]… detention [Walks to another body]… detention. [Throws 2 more slips on the same body. Says quickly]Detention, detention.
And the rest of the group is interviewed about what happened.
So How Does It Hold Up?
Some parts of it seem a bit underdeveloped, mainly backstories of the characters. And at times it can be cheesy or silly, but on a whole I loved it.
Yes, I LOVED IT!!!!! The series on a whole is better, as it has more time to devote to the characters, but this movie was awesome. Buffy is incredible.
It’s a great film if you are looking for something funny and silly, but with a horror twist.
So here is our final painting in our countdown to Easter. Last year for Good Friday I chose Peter Paul Reubens’ Elevation of the Cross, which showed placing Jesus on the cross. The year before I chose Masaccio’s Holy Trinity which depicted Jesus on the cross. This year I decided to do something different and chose a painting that takes place after Jesus has been hanging on the cross.
The painting I chose is by Mantegna Andrea and is called The Lamentation of Christ, but more commonly known as the Foreshortened Christ.
In this image, Jesus has been taken off the cross and his body has been laid out to be prepared for entombment. Andrea places the viewer at the foot of Christ, taking the position as one of the mourning. As we are at the foot of Christ, the perspective is different, giving our eye a shortened Christ.
Here we see a pale, unidealized Jesus, showing the life completely gone from him. We also see the wounds on his hands and feet, the wounds that were given to him to take away our sins. This Jesus also has a sparse beard, alluding to scripture in which it talks about how the centurions ripped his beard out before he was crucified.
To the far left we have two women mourning Jesus. One is Mary, his mother, who we can see the full face and anguish as she has lost her child. The other we can only see part of them, but it is John, also coming to grieve.
“Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed…one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”–Luke 23: 32-34
“Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read: Jesus of Nazareth, the king of the Jews. Many of the Jews read this sign, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and the sign was written in Aramaic, Latin and Greek. The chief priests of the Jews protested to Pilate, “Do not write ‘The King of the Jews,’ but that this man claimed to be king of the Jews.” Pilate answered, “What I have written, I have written.” …Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.”–John 19: 19-27
“One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!” But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”–Luke 23: 39-43
“At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)…Someone ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink.”–Mark 15: 33-36
“When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.”–John 19: 30
“At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks splitand the tombs broke open…When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “Surely he was the Son of God!”–Matthew 27:51-54
“So as evening approached,Joseph of Arimathea, a prominent member of the Council, who was himself waiting for the kingdom of God, went boldly to Pilate and asked for Jesus’ body…Joseph bought some linen cloth, took down the body, wrapped it in the linen, and placed it in a tomb cut out of rock. Then he rolled a stone against the entrance of the tomb.”–Mark 15: 42-46
But what really makes this a spectacular film is that many of the modern myths of werewolves were originated in this film: such as a person becoming a werewolf through a bite; the only way to kill a werewolf is with a silver bullet; and changing into one during a full moon. These are all original concepts created by writer Curt Siodmak. Isn’t that amazing! Like The Mummy and The Creature from the Black Lagoon this film isn’t based on a book or any specific resource, which allowed the writers a lot of leeway in their work and creations.
So this isn’t the first werewolf film, as that was The Werewolf of London, which actually did rather poorly in theaters. This was the second werewolf horror film to be made and become the most famous. All the later depictions such as: The Howling, An American Werewolf in London, I Was a Teenage Werewolf, Van Helsing, The Wolfman (2010), etc.; looked to it in creating their stories.
So the film was originally written for Boris Karloff, but he turned it down. And although I love that man [read my The Mummy (1932), Frankenstein, or The Bride of Frankensteinpost]I can’t imagine this film being as amazing with him as the title role. Lon Chaney Jr. was just superb. Lon Chaney Jr, was the son of the famous Lon Chaney (who I talk about in my Phantom of the Opera post) and interestingly the set that was used to film this movie was the same used for The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1923) which starred Lon Chaney Jr.’s father, Lon Chaney.
Now I love this movie and story but it is soooo sad as well. Here is a wonderful man pure of heart, who has the unfortunate luck of being bitten by a werewolf and can’t do anything to stop it. Unlike modern movies where the person can control it, change at will, etc; in the original when the man transformed into a wolf he literally transformed into becoming a beast and losing all his humanistic thought, reasoning, etc.
So the film starts out with Lon Chaney Jr. as Lawrence Talbot returning home.
Look at this sweetheart
His older brother has died, and as he is the second son he will now inherit everything–money, title, family home, etc. More importantly, after the realization that his brother is no longer, Lawrence AKA Larry, is eager to rebuild his relationship with his father. They had previously parted on not the best terms (he wanted to be an engineer his father wanted him to be something else. He decided to run away to California, against his father’s wishes).
Larry reacquaints himself with the village, taking a deep interest in a particular shopkeeper, Gwen Conliffe, who is unfortunately engaged. However, she is equally interested and as Larry buys a silver-wolf handled cane the two make a date to meet up later that night and visit the gypsies that are camping nearby.
That night Larry meets up with Gwen and her friend Jenny. The three make off to the gypsies passing some wolfsbane along the way. Both girls repeat the old gypsy folklore about wolfsbane:
“Even a man who is pure in heart
and says his prayers by night
may become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms
and the autumn moon is bright“
Now what is really interesting about this old piece of folklore is that it isn’t that old. This quote has been thought to be an Eastern European folk saying, but Siodmak admits that he was the one who made it up. Even though that might be true, it went down in film history becoming a part of almost every future Werewolf film and recited in every future Universal film appearance of the Wolf Man. [It is quoted by Van Helsing, but one of the lines was changed to “The moon is shining bright” instead of “The autumn moon is bright“]
Meanwhile, in the gypsy camp one of them has a terrible secret. Bela, played by Bela Lugosi, is actually a werewolf and hiding it from everyone.
When the group gets to the gypsy camp and have their fortunes read, Bela sees the pentagram on Jenny’s hand and knows that she’s next for death.
Ahhh!
Bela runs off and the trio start walking home. Soon Jenny is attacked by a wolf and Larry tries to save her. He wrestles with the wolf and kills it by braining it with his cane. (It being silver can kill it) Unfortunately, he couldn’t save Jenny and during the battle, he ended up getting bit…
Making him the next werewolf.
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The next day the constable comes to visit, causing Larry to second guess himself as they found a dead Bela instead of a wolf!
They found Bela beat in the head, and Larry’s silver cane matches perfectly as the weapon.
Col. Paul Montford, chief constable: [showing Larry’s stick to him] Is this your walking stick?
Larry Talbot: Why, yes. That’s the stick I killed the wolf with.
[Sir John Talbot and Col. Montford look at Larry with great concern]
Sir John Talbot: Larry, Bela the gypsy was killed last night. Your walking stick was found next to the body.
Larry Talbot: You mean, Bela the fortune teller? But… I only saw a wolf.
Larry is completely confused as he knows that it was a wolf. And how does that explain the murder of Jenny? Which was done by a wolf? The constable tells him he is still investigating as he really doesn’t want to arrest the Lord’s son, especially since there are so many questions. He ultimately deems the incident an accident.
Larry on the other hand is extremely puzzled. Could he have killed Bela? But he saw a wolf he was bit by one. Except the mark can not be found!
Larry needs answers and decides he will go see the Gypsy woman and not only apologize for her son’s death but ask her what is going on! Gwen and her fiancé Frank go with him.
The gypsy woman, Maleva, reveals that he did kill a wolf–a werewolf. Her son Bela was a werewolf and the only thing that could kill him was silver, silver like the silver on his cane.
Maleva: You killed the wolf.
Larry Talbot: Well, there’s no crime in that is there?
Maleva: The wolf was Bela.
Larry Talbot: You think I don’t know the difference between a wolf and a man?
Maleva: Bela turned into a wolf and you killed him. A werewolf can only be killed by a silver bullet, or a silver knife…[looks down at Larry’s walking stick]…or a stick with a silver handle.
Larry Talbot: You’re insane! I tell you, I killed a wolf! A PLAIN, ORDINARY WOLF!!!
Maleva: Whoever is bitten by a werewolf and lives becomes a werewolf himself.
Larry Talbot: Ah, don’t hand me that. You’re just wasting your time.
Maleva: The wolf bit you, didn’t he?
Larry Talbot: Yeah. Yeah he did!
Maleva: [Larry shows Maleva his chest wound concealed under his shirt] Go now – and heaven help you!”
Larry of course doesn’t believe her and leaves. That night he transforms into the WEREWOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now the transformation was laborious. The makeup took six hours and was the design by Jack Pierce for Henry Hull in Werewolf of London. Hull had rejected it as he didn’t like how long the process would be to apply it. Chaney Jr. claimed he had to sit motionless for hours as the scenes were shot frame by frame. Pierce used grease paint, a rubber snout, wigs, and glued layers of yak hair to Chaney Jr.’s face. Larry’s dissolve transformation on screen only took seconds, while in actuality it took almost ten hours as they had to keep reapplying layers for the changing fur.
That night the Wolf Man attacks a grave-digger, Richardson.
The constable and the Doctor finds his ravaged body and wolf tracks.
Meanwhile, Larry finds himself in bed with wolf tracks all around and has finally decided that the gypsy women must be telling him the truth. He talks to his father who just thinks that he is in shock and doesn’t take any of the “werewolf nonsense” seriously. He even calls the doctor who deems it just a mild form of hysteria.
The Constable and doctor prepare the woods to catch the wolf so that it doesn’t kill another person. The nigh as Larry as the Wolf Man steps in one of the traps and gets caught. Luckily the Gypsy woman frees him, as she had felt sorry for his predicament.
Larry transforms back into a human and asks the Gypsy woman and for help. She gives him a charm that will protect him from turning into a werewolf and warns him not to give the charm to ANYONE ELSE AS IT WON’T WORK FOR ANYONE ELSE!
He then runs off to see Gwen to tell her that he is leaving. He knows he has killed the others and doesn’t want to hurt anyone else.
“Larry Talbot: You wouldn’t wanna run away with a murderer wouldja?
Gwen Conliffe: Oh Larry, you’re not. You know you’re not.
Larry Talbot: I killed Bela. I killed Richardson. If I stay here any longer, you can’t tell who’ll be next.”
Gwen tries to get him to take her with him as she loves him, but Larry sees the mark of the pentagram on her hand and tells her he can’t. Instead he gives her the charm. YES THE CHARM THAT IS ONLY SUPPOSED TO PROTECT HIM! Really Larry? REALLY??????!!!!!!
YOU ARE MAKING THE SAME FREAKIN’ MISTAKE THAT EVERY OTHER MONSTER FILM HERO DOES!
DID YOU NOT HEAR THE WOMAN EARLIER? SHE SAID IT WILL WORK ONLY FOR YOU! ONLY FOR YOU!! ONLY YOU!!! YOU KEEP IT! What’s the point of going to a gypsy for help if you ARE NOT GOING TO LISTEN????!!!!!!! I mean this is such a classic mistake made by these men in these horror films. In Dracula, he gives the girl the cross charm that is supposed to protect only him, and then gets knocked out and is unable to keep her from being kidnapped. In The Mummy, he gives the girl the charm that is only supposed to protect him, and it doesn’t work for her. Instead Imohtep knocks him out and takes the girl anyway. MORAL OF THESE STORIES, KEEP THE DANG CHARM!!!DON’T GIVE IT AWAY!!! Alright! So if any of you are given a protective charm you freakin’ keep it!!! YOU HEAR ME????!!!!
And now that I got that little rant out of my system, let’s get back to the story.
So Larry goes to see his father and asks him to lock him up; tie him up in a chair, lock the door, etc and to go far, far, away as he doesn’t want him to be hurt. He also gives his father his silver cane as he knows that it will protect him.
Now this is why I hate modern interpretations of werewolves, except for The Wolfman (2010), as they never capture this aspect of the story. Here is a good man who has become evil, but he doesn’t want to be evil. It wasn’t like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in which Dr. Jekyll made a choice, or even The Phantom of the Operawhere he suffered such horrible things and had a complete snap and broke down. This was a good man who wanted to fix bad things in his life but the timing was off and he too is caught up in the evil. Modern interpretations also never cover the heartbreaking scene as this with his dad. He knows he can’t control the evil and the last thing he does is try to protect the ones he loves, first Gwen and then his father. The most emotional is the scene with his father, as here is a man he has been fighting with, had a horrible relationship, but you see in this moment how much love he has for his father. He gives him the cane as he wants his father to be safe, no matter what. And you see how much his father loves him by taking the cane, even though he thinks Larry is delusional.
Gwen is worried about Larry and goes looking for him, running into the woods even though the Gypsy warns her not to. I mean seriously, why don’t we listen to the Gypsies? They are gypsies, they know stuff.
So Gwen runs out and into Larry, who has escaped from his room. But instead of the sweet, adorable, loving Larry we are confronted by the horrible beast.
But before the werewolf can do anything, Sir John comes and hits him with the cane, killing him.
The constable and doctor presume that Larry was killed trying to save Gwen, but Sir John knows the truth and now is left alone and has to bury his other son.
“Maleva: The way you walked was thorny though no fault of your own, but as the rain enters the soil, the river enters the sea, so tears run to a predestined end. Now you will have peace for eternity.”
Yep. I have to say that this is one of my all-time favorite horror films. Although it makes me want to cry every time.
So that was our kick-off piece. Stay tuned for many more wonderful pieces to come!
![Count Dracula: Van Helsing. [Van Helsing turns to face Count Dracula] Count Dracula: Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country. Van Helsing: I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy. Count Dracula: You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived. Van Helsing: Should you escape us, Dracula. We know how to save Miss Mina's soul if not her life. Count Dracula: If she dies by day. But I shall see that she dies by night. Van Helsing: And I will have Carfax Abbey torn down, stone by stone, excavated a mile around. I will find your earth-box and drive that stake through your heart. Count Dracula: Come here. [Dracula raises his hand to hypnotise Van Helsing] Count Dracula: Come here...Your will is strong, Van Helsing. [Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him] Count Dracula: More wolfbane? Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count. Count Dracula: Indeed. [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]](https://janeaustenrunsmylife.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/images21.jpeg)
![Renfield: He came and stood below my window in the moonlight. And he promised me things, not in words, but by doing them. Van Helsing: Doing them? Renfield: By making them happen. A red mist spread over the lawn, coming on like a flame of fire! And then he parted it, and I could see that there were thousands of rats, with their eyes blazing red,l ike his, only smaller. Then he held up his hand, and they all stopped, and I thought he seemed to be saying: "Rats! Rats! Rats! Thousands! Millions of them! All red-blood! All these will I give you! If you will obey me!" Van Helsing: What did he want you to do? Renfield: That which has already been done! [giggles sinisterly]](https://janeaustenrunsmylife.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/images-39.jpeg?w=474)
![Count Dracula: Van Helsing. [Van Helsing turns to face Count Dracula] Count Dracula: Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country. Van Helsing: I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy. Count Dracula: You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived. Van Helsing: Should you escape us, Dracula. We know how to save Miss Mina's soul if not her life. Count Dracula: If she dies by day. But I shall see that she dies by night. Van Helsing: And I will have Carfax Abbey torn down, stone by stone, excavated a mile around. I will find your earth-box and drive that stake through your heart. Count Dracula: Come here. [Dracula raises his hand to hypnotise Van Helsing] Count Dracula: Come here...Your will is strong, Van Helsing. [Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him] Count Dracula: More wolfbane? Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count. Count Dracula: Indeed. [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]](https://janeaustenrunsmylife.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/images21.jpeg?w=474)
