Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

So I’m sure you all have heard that old joke “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Duh!

Well have you ever lived it?

What?

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Well I’ll get to that in a moment. First we need to go over some backstory.

So in my hometown, years ago, some people released a series of chickens into the city. The group grew each year and now they have taken over an area of the town as their domain. They are in fact protected by the city, and it is now illegal to kill them.

Yeah I don’t understand it either

During my freshman year at college, a rooster wandered on to campus and made it it’s home. Everybody freaked out and tons of people signed a petition trying to get the rooster declared the new school mascot. They were amazed at seeing a rooster living on campus. I don’t see the big ta-do. And I told people, it’s nothing new to me to see a chicken or rooster not on a “farm”, that’s pretty normal.

Anyways, as I mentioned these chickens not only took over a section of the city, they actually have become very smart. I am not kidding you, they have figured out how to use the crosswalks.

Yes I am not kidding you!!! One day my sister Jessica and I were driving somewhere and had to stop for a red light, and a chicken was waiting on the corner. As soon as the hand changed to the walk signal, the chicken crossed the street, remaining in the lines. Crazy, huh?

Anyways, so the other day I was driving somewhere and coming up a street to make a right turn. As I drive up, this chicken comes walking through. I figure, hey it’ll keep moving along, but that’s not what happened.

Stupid, stupid

The chicken stopped halfway through crossing the street. I guess it became nervous, because it just started pacing back and forth all flustered.

Of course

I’m like Chicken move!! I mean this guys are protected I can’t run it over. Besides I would feel really bad if I did. So I’m honking my horn and screaming at this Chicken, which only flusters it more and increases the pacing.

This guy on the corner is watching me and the chicken and just laughing his butt off.

Finally the chicken has  figured out what it wants and continues on it’s way allowing me to continue on mine.

Yep, just another day.

For more scenes of my everyday life, go to Just A Moment

Final Destination: Bike Edition

So for the past few weeks I have almost been hit by a car; whether I was walking or biking. I mean the rate at which it has been happening has started to make me feel like I’m in Final Destination

Woah! Close Call!

Like did I miss something here? Was I supposed to die and the universe and death is trying to remedy that? (Just kidding I do not think I am meant to die)

I mean close encounters with death is not something new to me, I mean I have actually had quite a few near death experiences/narrowly avoided massive pain/situations that could have gone much, much worse. I will have to create a series of posts on that now.

Anyways, so a few weeks ago a woman was making a right turn, and totally decided she wasn’t going to look to the right, in case you know a pedestrian WAS CROSSING AS IT WAS THEIR TIME TO GO!!! Seriously I hate every one who makes right turns. THEY NEVER LOOK FOR PEDESTRIANS!!! Anyways, so I’m about to cross because I finally got the walking sign, and you know those don’t last long, I step out and this lady tries to drive forward because she was looking to the left. I scream and jump back, and she gets this horrified look on her face as if I scared her. AS IF I SCARED HER!! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO ALMOST HIT ME!!! So I end up mad dogging her the whole time I walk across.

Shame on You!

Then there was the day that I almost got hit by a right turn person while I was biking across because a girl was on her STUPID CELLPHONE. THERE IS A LAW BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!! PAY ATTENTION!! Eyes should always be looking at where you are going, not down on your cellphone. Ugh. Some people make me sooooo mad!

ARRRRRGH!!!!!!!

Then there was another person who almost hit me making a right turn (seriously you right turning people WATCH OUT FOR PEDESTRIANS!!) And so on, and so on.

There is this one area where you try to cross the street, it takes forever to get by as you have to wait for both opposing sides to be clear. Usually I wait until the cars going right are clear and move into the crosswalk to the wait for the cars going left to clear/stop for me, as it is impossible to have a time when both are clear. So I do this and a car going left CLEARLY SEES ME WAITING and has plenty of time to stop, so I start moving. Only one problem, they NEVER INTENDED TO STOP! This stupid person had decided they could make it and nearly crashed into me. STUPID JERK!

II will end you

That brings me to yesterday. I was biking home and it was night, so I go very, very slow. Let me say the two worst times to bike or walk is when it is 1) Raining, and 2) Night/Dark. People then are CA-RA-ZY!

You are insane

So I’m biking and I reach an area where I have to pass apartment complexes. Now, I’m biking on the sidewalk, as I don’t really like biking in the street at night. So I stop because this car is turning, and I’m under the light waiting for the car to clear the crosswalk. She does, and I move forward, when this crazy soccer mom barrels forward nearly crashing into me. Luckily I caught this in time and turned my bike and hit the brakes. She brakes, quickly glances at me, and takes off. UGH! SOME PEOPLE!!!

THEY JUST MAKE ME SO UPSET!

So that brings us to today. Yep, the very next day I have another encounter. I was biking to school and going through the parking lot and this person almost backs into me. Now I know it can be hard to see someone coming, BUT YOU ARE BACKING OUT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING IN THE BACK TO SEE IF YOU ARE GOING TO HIT ANYTHING!!!!!

Luckily, I made it through ok. Jeez, its like people remember how to drive. Look for pedestrians and bicyclists. Let them go when they are supposed to. Practice safety.

If you liked this post, you might want to check out Doors of Death in which automatic doors almost crush me

and/or

Read about my demon possessed/poltergeist TV, They’re Here

and/or

Read about the time that I had a nightmare on Elm street, Krueger Town

and/or

My 31 horror/suspense/thriller film countdown to Halloween, Horrorfest and its sequel Horrorfest II