I have to review another episode of Austentatious!
So those of you who might not be aware of what Austentatious is, I’ll do a brief recap. Elinor Dashwood, Marianne Dashwood, Elizabeth Bennet, and Emma Woodhouse-all coexist in the same city and are friends. They also are friends with Grant Knightley (Mr. Knightley): Elizabeth is trying to sell a agonizingly rude Mr. Darcy a house; and Elinor is trying to deal with Marianne moving in. Thus far…I DO NOT LIKE IT…
Ugh, this show!
Will I feel the same today? Well:
We start off the episode with Emma and Grant (Knightley) are hanging out. Emma brings an announcement for Mr. and Mrs Weston’s child Sam marrying Patricia (who are these people, we don’t know!)
What?
Will they play an important role in the series? Probably not and such a shame as Sam (assuming to be Frank Churchill) could have added some spice to what is already looking to be a boring episode.
Anyways, Emma takes credit for it. Then Elinor comes to join them, and Emma plans to set her up. Elinor isn’t interested, but needs help getting rid of a date she already made. Why don’t you just tell him the truth? Or need be-say you are sick.
Elinor doesn’t want to go out with Collin (Mr. Collins) a guy who lives in her building. Okay-like he isn’t drop dead gorgeous but he wasn’t downright annoying either or creepy. They should have upped that. I mean of all the Collins, he was the lamest. I mean Ricky Collins in The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice (1995), and Mr. Collins in P&P (1995) were all just so eye-rollingly annoying. You just wanted them to stop!
Seriously calm down
This guy is just blah, whatever.
Meh.
Although, he does have a problem taking no for an answer, so that does make him a creep and having their first date be in his apartment-yeah no go! Never, ever go on a first date and be in the person’s home. Major, MAJOR red flag!
Just say no!
But you know what she never even agreed to the date. I mean he walked off before she could say yes or no, so really she can just not go and if he says anything tell him she’s not interested. And if he continues to harass her, file a restraining order-or at least threaten to.
Don’t mess with me!
And you know what, when he asked Elinor if she had plans why didn’t she just say yes. Staying home and reading a book is plans. Not going out with you is plans. And its not lying.
Okaaaaaaaaaaay, strike what I said earlier. They up his creep factor as he’s been watching her for weeks. Dateline called-he’s totally giving off the profile of serial killer. (IsDateline too old of a reference?) Tell him no and get a restraining order.
Not going out with you.
Elinor agrees to go out as “He’s not too bad”. Hold up, Elinor that’s what I thought too at first, but the man’s been watching you for WEEKS! Serial killer profile right there.
On a side note-this guy kind of looks like Monk’s annoying neighbor. It’s not, but how much more awesome a Mr. Collins would he have made?
Grant’s advice “At least you get dinner out of it” True, true. Better order something expensive to make up for it. But then again how do you know he doesn’t plan on Elinor being his dinner!
Elinor goes home and finds her sister eating cereal even though it is 5:30 pm. Why, you may ask? Because the clock didn’t have batteries in it when Marianne hung it up, so she thought it was 11:45. Oh chuckie darn.
Ugh, why do they make Marianne so dumb and empty headed in modern adaptions. Yes, she was a romantic and yes she was not sensible-but that doesn’t mean you have to make her a dunce.
A dunce who doesn’t want a job. Geez, why does everyone do that? Why do they think because she is a romantic she is lazy?
How does that translate to “I’m lazy?”
It DOESN’T!
Lizzie is trying to sell houses when she gets a call from ugh, Darcy. This actor makes him such a jerk I’d like to fastfoward any scene with him in it.
I know, sacrilege. But don’t blame me-it was the writers!
They failed!
What an awful show, it actually made me hate on Darcy. No wonder it got canceled.
Sorry if I don’t like something, I’m extra cruel.
Not really
Elizabeth’s not super interested and a shocked that he would call her after their last meeting. But you know sadistic jerks like that kind of thing.
Lizzie gives in unlike how she would normally do. Seriously, Elizabeth would be all:
Elinor meets up with Marianne and Emma complaining. Marianne tells her just admit she’s not into him, a great idea. Emma cautions her against it as it “will be awkward.” Oh Emma…
Lizzie comes running up, not able to stay long as she has to go do her next showing. She tells them about how Darcy called, and she would have turned him down but the is going to be good. But don’t forget Lizzie, there is a big IF there, IF he actually buys a house. And I feel like that’s not happening.
Emma tries to warn Lizzie it is going to be hard as Darcy is just, urgh. She encourages Lizzie not to let Darcy make her feel bad or act like she doesn’t know her stuff. Stay strong girl. Be the Lizzie we know and love.
Back with Elinor and Marianne, Marianne is doing a job analysis board to try and figure out what she will be good at-and what she wants to do. Marianne is mostly looking for which job will give her acess to hot guys. Okay how did this:
To this?
One job she is interested in is a bookkeeper for a Construction company as she “will be looking at hot guys” and Elinor is all no they will be ugly, fat, and sweaty. Okay Elinor way to be super cruel. You don’t know that, and not every construction guy is fat. And maybe that’s just their genetics. Way to body shame.
And okay this takes place in 2015 and all the jobs she looks at are in the paper. I was job hunting in 2014-15-there was very little in the paper. Online was, and is, where it is at. She should be sitting at a computer sending her resume into LinkedIn, monster, zipdrive, doing online applications, and checking out Craigslist.
Lizzie goes to the office to see Darcy, which is a bad idea, but she needs to as she wants to speak to him about her commission and prove that she knows what she is doing. Darcy is a jerk, but finally agrees.
Elinor gets home and finds Marianne hanging out on the couch with Grant and Emma, Grant stretched out on her couch on top of Emma.
Uh..friends don’t do that-that’s a total relationship thing. Seriously.
They are there to help Elinor get rid of Collin and Marianne with her job search. They decide the best thing to do is dress bad, and Elinor does a mini-fashion show.
Elinor tries on different outfits, but ultimately puts on the one she originally had and they all declare it to be the one to scare him. Yeah saw that joke coming a mile away.
I waited so long for this joke I died…
Lizzie and Darcy start looking over houses…and we all know how this will go:
Darcy is so annoying…
Ugh!
He gives her his specifications of what he wants and expects her to have 20 houses for him to look at. Well hey dude, maybe you could have emailed me what you wanted!!!!! You ever think of that????!!!!!!!
Forget you!
If I was Lizzie I would have given him a verbal beatdown- classy and professionally- left, blocked his number, and walked away no looking back.
Lizzie brings up she didn’t know and he’s all-you didn’t ask. Well she did in the last episode. So there doofus.
Take this list, you jerk!
And his final thing of what he wants, it should appeal to one woman, Well if that’s the case why isn’t she looking at the homes? How am I supposed to find a house if I don’t even know this woman.
Seriously stop!
He is so abusive that I can hardly watch this. I don’t know who wrote him this way, but they obviously have never read the books. Darcy gives one comment in the books-one, and it isn’t even really against Elizabeth! It is more I don’t want to dance and I am going to say this so you will leave me alone. They are making him the biggest jerk ever. And verbally and emotionally abusive putting her down like that and berating her-everything is her fault. It’s awful!
Did you even READ the book!!??
Elinor and Collin are on their date, being the only ones at his favorite restaurant, weird. He orders for her which is a major NOOOO!
Back at the apartment, Grant and Emma are hanging out with Marianne, waiting for Elinor. I thought this whole interaction and the way that Grant and Emma are just always over and eating Elinor’s food is weird. I have never ever had friends do this unless we lived together. We’ll just wait at your house and eat your food until your date is done? Maybe come over when the date ends or the next day, but just hanging out without you in your home. That seems really strange to me. They must be limited on set, the restaurant took most of their budget.
So Marianne and Emma throw darts at Marianne’s job board to decide her next job. But they don’t tell us, means it is supposed to be a “joke”.
Back at the restaurant, Elinor is not enjoying her meal. Collin thinks she is trying to “not eat” on a date, as women do.
Collin reveals the real reason he took her out. He needs her help. She tries to tell him she’s not interested but he puts his hand up and says “don’t interrupt” OH NO YOU DID NOT.
It’s like an explosion of rage. I can’t stand when guys do that-urgh jut makes me furious.
He’s into Lizzie and wants Elinor’s help getting her. He thinks Lizzie is shy and thought approaching a friend is better than going straight for her. Elinor is not going to help, but C won’t listen. She has to state it again-NO.
Seriously stop!
Finally he gets it through his skull, and is not happy, but asks her to keep his secret. Even without her help he is going to go after Elizabeth anyway. Oh and he wants her to pay, since it wasn’t a “real date.”
Elinor fakes illness and takes off for home.
Marianne tries to find an outfit for job interview and her clothes are all behind the times. None if these are what people were wearing at the time.
No, no, no
Lizzie comes over to the house and complains about jerkface. Elinor also comes back and says that it was awful but she doesn’t want to talk about it.
The next day Marianne stops by to say hi to Emma. She applied as a physical therapist-but she has no degree or experience, so she didn’t get the job.
Seriously
Like why is she so dumb?
It ends as she runs off to her interview as an astronomer.
That’s it for today, I’m out of her-and I’m not looking forward to the next episode. But as I like to say, “That’s a problem for future Moreland. She can deal with it.”
But never fear, Austen’s books can guide us into finding our perfect match.
That’s not what I am talking about. I mean real life dating.
Yep, with the fantastic book:
Jane Austen’s Guide to Dating by Lauren Henderson
I can’t remember if this book was recommended to me by Goodreads or by one of you followers-but somehow it was and I decided to check it out. At the time I got it I was interested in dating anybody:
But then eight months later I was and thought what better time to start.
Each chapter covers a topic to do with dating and analyzes couples from Jane Austen’s novels. One couple has examples you should follow:
And a couple with examples you shouldn’t:
Henderson then has a modern-day couple who she uses as an example.
And she concludes each chapter with a list of Dos
And Don’ts
For example:
CHAPTER SIX:
LOOK FOR SOMEONE WHO CAN BRING OUT YOUR BEST QUALITIES
The chapter starts off examining the relationship of Charles and Mary Musgrove.
The two are complete opposites with Charles being very outdoorsy and Mary a hypochondriac. Charles is good-natured and easy-going, while Mary unkind, snobby, and self-absorbed. Mary is whiney and shrill, while Charles still acts like a child versus a man.
Charles is also still in love with Mary’s sister Anne, who he originally proposed to.
Mary is a bully, manipulator, and only cares about herself. In fact when her child gets injured she argues with her husband about who can attend a party-gets upset when Charles says she should stay home with their child and then convinces Anne to babysit her boy.
What jerks
Basically, both have bad qualities and they feed off each other. Mary mangifies Charles rebellious spirit, his bad additude, self-indulgence and the sam for Mary.
LESSON TO BE LEARNED:
DON’T BE INFECTED BY THE BAD QUALITIES OF THE PERSON YOU’RE DATING!
Henderson then goes on to give a real life example of couple Brad and Louise. Brad was an okay cleaner, while Louise was a total slob. When they got together, her bad habits caused Brad to pick up on it and he became a slob as well. They had a messy apartment, bills were always final notice or overdue, laundry piled up, and they began to resent each other.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD:
SET A POSITIVE EXAMPLE, USING HUMOR TO HELP IT ALONG
THERE IS NO PERFECT PERSON FOR YOU
THERE IS ONLY THE MAN WHO IS GOOD ENOUGH
Anyone you meet will have qualities you hate. You have to look at whether the good outweighs the things that annoy you. Can you tolerate those things in exchange for all the stuff you love that he brings to the relationship?
Henderson then goes on to describe a couple-Gary and Lucy. Lucy is easy-going and pleasant while Gary is a worrywort. Whenever Gary would get upset and rant, Lucy always made sure to validate his feelings, tease him, and give him the reassurance he needed.
It will all be okay
We then look at Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth.
Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet (1940)
Darcy falls for Elizabeth because she is who she is. She sees him and how she acts and lets him know what she is not interested in.
He learns his lesson and ligtens up-letting her see him and the things about each other they may not really like-they tolerate for all the other things they do.
LESSON TO BE LEARNED:
YOU SHOULD LIKE WHO YOU ARE WHEN YOU’RE WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE
WHAT NOT TO DO:
DON’T CLOSE YOUR EYES TO A BAD PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR
Henderson uses the real life example of Lacey and Mark. Lacey was really into Mark, but he didn’t prioritize their time-was always having a ton of parties and events to go to, always switching up plans and changing what he was doing, he would stay out all night and not tell her where he was, she would dress for one thing and Mark would change it-leaving Lacey uncomfortable and out of place.
This would make Lacey mad and she would nag him. She felt she had no control or say and more and more tried to control him.
Mark actually enjoyed the nagging as it made him feel rebellious and naughty-like he was disobeying his mother. In fact his behavior turned Lucy into a bitter, angry, mother like character.
Ouch
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD:
LISTEN TO YOUR BOYFRIEND WHEN HE GENUINELY TRIES TO HELP YOU
Henderson gives us the example of Kate and Lee. Kate was a beautiful, thin, blonde and also an anorexic. Henderson shows how Lee was able to help Kate by showing that he cared for her and was there for her, also trusting her and not pushing her too much.
We then see Emma and Frank Churchill
Frank is a coxcomb, he only cares about himself and his interests. He flatters people, and when their back is turned cuts them down to the quick. He is secretly engaged to Jane Fairfax and treats her horribly.
When he gets with Emma he brings out the worst in her and she in him. They both bring out a the careless, judgmental, and sarcastic sides of each other. They would have been an awful couple always bickering, nasty, mocking, judgmental, rude, etc.
Ugh
LESSON TO BE LEARNED:
DON’T DATE SOMEONE WHO ENCOURAGES YOUR SELF-DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSES
WHAT NOT TO DO:
DON’T MISTAKE DANGER FOR EXCITEMENT
Kate an AT&T supervisor fell for Rob a rock ‘n roll guitarist. Everything he did was exciting and new to Kate, but soon it cut into her real life and she wasn’t performing so well at work or missing too much. She tried to talk toRob about it but he didn’t care and eventually Kate had to cut back on their partying or lose her job. Rob dumped her and quickly hooked up with some other girls, leaving Kate crying her heart out and trying to pick up the pieces of the life she had completely dropped for him.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD:
PICK A BOYFRIEND WHO IS A GOOD INFLUENCE ON YOU
Beverly was a real party girl and would always go over the top when she had a few drinks. She could be very cruel but never listened to warnings until Ed. Ed was quiet and calm. The two complemented each other and brought out the best traits in each other, smoothing down the rough ones.
SUMMARY:
DO
Keep Your Own Values:If someone doesn’t have the same fundamental value system as you-and, worse, if they try and sway you from what you know to be right-you are not in a good relationship.
Choose Someone Who Brings Out the Best in You: Your boyfriend should help you to strengthen your positive qualities and suppress the negative ones.
Support Him as Much as He Supports You: Its a two-way street. If you’re both helping each other to reach your goals in life and be nicer, happier people, you have a much greater chance of maintaining a successful, strong relationship.
DON’T
Try to Change Your Boyfriend in Major Ways: Either decide you can put up with his annoying quirks, or leave him. If you start trying to change him you will turn into a nag, and you WILL end up hating yourself.
Be Influenced By His Bad Behavior: Don’t get sucked into things you feel aren’t good for you. Don’t stay around someone who wants to drag you down.
Put All the Blame on Him: YOU chose him, after all. If he’s not good for you, why did you pick him in the first place? Instead of blaming him, spend your time more and more usefully by figuring out why you made that mistake so you won’t repeat it in the future.
TIPS FOR TELLING IF YOU’RE WITH SOMEONE WHO BRINGS OUT YOUR WORST QUALITIES
You’re stuck in a rut of criticizing each other, without the situation ever improving.
You feel irritable most of the time you spend with him and you can’t put your finger on why.
You change your outfit or hair five times before going out on a date with him, never sure whether you’ve picked the image of yourself that will please him.
You disagree with a lot of his core values, but you yell yourself it doesn’t matter, because they have nothing to do with your relationship.
You find yourself doing things with him that you would never normally do-things you don’t mention to your friends because you know they would disapprove.
Then at the end of the book they have a quiz so you can see which Jane Austen character you and your significant other are. I took it before I read the book and got:
Elizabeth Bennet
I took it after I read the book and got:
Elizabeth Bennet
If your score is 41-51, you are Elizabeth-outgoing, funny, and direct. You want a serious relationship, but it’s essential for you to find someone you can have fun with or teach to have fun. Your best matches are:
Mr. Darcy
Henry Tilney
Captain Wentworth
Then I took the quiz for my then boyfriend (now my fiancé), and I got for him a mix of Captain Wentworth, Henry Tilney, and Mr. Bingley
But my boyfriend (now fiancé), said he wanted to take it and he got a mix of Captain Wentworth, Henry Tilney, and Mr. Bingley.
If his score is 41-51 he is Captain Wentworth, Henry Tilney, or Mr. Bingley-straight forward, happy, and looking for love. PROBLEM: If you’re used to playing games, you may put him off. SUITABLE FOR: Everyone-his happy nature and friendly disposition make him the easiest man to get along with on the whole list.
I don’t think he’s very much like Mr. Bingley, but I could see Mr Tilney:
Or as Captain Wentworth:
If I were you and dating I would definitely check this book out.
When I read this comic it kind of made me think of the song Shut Up and Dance. It also made me think of the song December, 1963 (Oh What A Night) by Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons.
I am a huge fan of Frankie Valli and this one of my favorite songs by the group. Whenever I hear a chord or lyric I just start bursting out singing.
The song was originally supposed to be titles December 5th 1933 and about the repealing of Prohibition; but Frankie Vallie made them change it. He thought a song about nostalgic memories of a beautiful girl once met was a much stronger premise. And I agree, the memory aspect makes this song so much better and more enjoyable.
The song was written Bob Gaudio about the meeting and courtship of his wife Judy Parker.
How romantic
Oh, what a night, late December back in ’63
What a very special time for me
As I remember what a night!
Oh what a night,
You know I didn’t even know her name
But I was never gonna be the same
What a lady, what a night!
Oh, I got a funny feeling when she walked in the room
And I, as I recall it ended much too soon
Oh what a night,
Hypnotizing, mesmerizing me
She was everything I dreamed she’d be
Sweet surrender, what a night!
I felt a rush like a rolling ball of thunder
Spinning my head around and taking my body under
(Oh what a night!)
Oh, I got a funny feeling when she walked in the room
And I, as I recall it ended much too soon
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night,
Why’d it take so long to see the light?
Seemed so wrong, but now it seems so right
What a lady, what a night!
I felt a rush like a rolling ball of thunder
Spinning my head around and taking my body under
(Oh what a night!)
I felt a rush like a rolling ball of thunder
Spinning my head around and taking my body under
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
So I’ve mentioned before how this film was one I had been searching for, for a long, loong time. When I was young I watched a movie about stealing art that took place in France, but couldn’t remember the title, just the one scene. I was pointed toward To Catch a Thief, but it wasn’t how I remembered the film.
I figured I just had faulty memory and was done with it.
Over ten years later, I decided to watch this movie as I love Audrey Hepburn and Peter O’Toole. As I started watching it, I had this sense of deja vu, but I was certain I’d never seen it before. It wasn’t until they played the one scene that I realized this was the movie I had been thinking of the whole time.
Finally!
This is an absolutely hysterical heist film. Audrey plays Nicole Bonnet, daughter of a forger and leading citizen of Paris. She has been trying to get him to stop to no avail.
Parents
One night, she catches a bungling burglar, Simon Dermott (Peter O’Toole), who is more than what he seems. He likes her and tries to date her; but she wants nothing to do with him.
Meanwhile, her father has allowed the museum to take the famed Cellini‘s Aphrodite (a forgery done by Nicole’s grandfather) for an exhibition. After he has signed off the museum paperwork, he discovers that the museum will be testing the statue in order to insure it.
Both Nicole and her father know that such tests will show that it is a fake and bring ruin to both Bonnets. In order to stop it, Nicole hires Simon to steal it for her, using one incredibly crazy scheme.
Most Romantic Moment: I’ll Protect You and Your Family
*Spoilers*
So the most romantic moment comes at the end of the film. Simon and Nicole have successfully stolen the sculpture and Simon is hiding it.
Simon Dermott: [about the Cellini Venus] Oh! She’s fine. She’s wrapped up in one of my old shirts, just as snug as could be. I rocked her to sleep in my arms last night.
He takes Nicole out to dinner, and reveals that he isn’t an art thief. He is actually a private detective who specializes in art forgery; finding the criminals and gathering evidence that will send them to prison.
Yeah not good for Nicole or her father. But because he loves Nicole he decides to not prosecute her father, (as long as he promises to not make or sell any more forgeries).
How romantic
This is HUGE! It is his job! If word got out he would be in big trouble, and probably end up in prison for obstruction or accessory charges.
But for a man who has never settled and was only focused on work; he decided to put the girl he loved and her happiness first.
So this was a movie I came upon when I read a countdown list on best back-to-school films. I saw that it starred Judd Nelson and I was very intrigued, as I love Judd Nelson. I have to say that on a whole I thought this movie was okay. Judd Nelson was awesome and hot as always.
I mean I love him in The Breakfast Club, but you can’t go wrong with a well-dressed man.
However, I didn’t like his friends as I felt they were just using him to a) defend them, b) make them popular, and c) to pick his brain about how to date and interact with girls. I ABSOLUTELY hated the girl who becomes his girlfriend. She was a rich snob and horrible girl, who was trying to be more accepting of the lower classes, as she is dating a man who has “new money”. Gross. What a jerk.
Anyways, so let me get to the synopsis. Palmer (Dana Olsen), is a lazy, rich boy. He’s been kicked out of over 7 schools, yes 7, and finds himself at his father’s limit. If he doesn’t finish college this year, than no trust fund, no allowance, no anything; he’ll be forced to get a real job.
Eddie is living on the street, and trying to make ends meet. He owes a bookie a ton of money and has no way to pay it back. He flees for his life and runs into Palmer and his problem. Palmer agrees to pay all of Eddie’s expenses and a $10,000 bonus if he pretends to be Palmer and graduates for him.
Now Eddie isn’t exactly the Ralph Lauren type. He actually does great academically, but the “upper crust” social skills are nothing like he’s used to. However, everyone but the prep trio; Bif, Skip, and Bland; enjoys the changes he starts making as he shakes the campus up.
Eddie falls for the daughter of the school founders, Tracey Hoover (Joanna Lee), and begins trying to romance her away from Bif, fascinating her with his breakdancing and “normal everyday” person attitude.
Problems arise when Dice, the bookie, tracks Eddie down and tells him that he’ll have to pay all his winnings to him. Muffy, Palmer’s girlfriend, keeps showing up and causing issues with Tracey. Palmer himself comes back from Europe, and chills on campus, his partying and attitude causing issues for Eddie. Bif tries to destroy Eddie and Tracey’s romance and the headmaster tries to kick Eddie out. To top it off, Eddie finds himself becoming a mega-preppie jerk and losing who he is.
*************Most Romantic Moment*************
So about halfway through the movie Eddie and Tracey have been dating and are a thing. Muffy comes traipsing by and causes Tracey to become jealous. Muffy thinks Eddie is “Bif” Palmer’s friend and keeps coming to visit Palmer, finding herself hanging out with “Bif”. After Palmer comes back and dumps Muffy, she goes to see “Bif” and ask him for help. Unfortunately, at that same time Tracey has arrived with a silver platter of food (I guess rich people’s version of a picnic? I’m not sure), and sees Eddie and Muffy walking off together. Bif comes up to Tracey and insinuates that Eddie and Muffy have been hanging out a lot and doing more than that. Tracey storms off, determined to never speak to Eddie again.
Eddie of course, has no idea why Tracey won’t talk to him anymore, as he keeps calling her and calling her. He decides to go on the offensive and and delivers tons of flowers, of all different types. But that doesn’t work.
Eddie then goes to plan B.
He sends her a TV with his picture and the words “I’m going down the tubes without you”. Isn’t that adorable!!!! I just find it incredibly cute and original. I mean it’s no holding the boom box over the head by John Cusack, but it is still incredibly amazing. I just love it! It may not be what most people consider romantic, but this has got to be the best “sorry” ever.
No joke this just happened the other day and I’m like
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
My friend told me that she hated Star Wars. I just cannot comprehend how that is even possible?
Yeah I don’t understand it either
I convinced her to give the original films a try. After all, if a person doesn’t like Star Wars they can still be your friend. I can’t imagine if that was someone I wanted to date. You don’t like Star Wars? Then see ya!
Or guy in my case
After all:
If your significant other doesn’t understand that simple concept, dump them. There are plenty more out there who understand the finer things in life.
So today is Guy Fawkes Day and you know what that means…
So this something I actually have to thank my ex-boyfriend for. He may have been a cheating scumbag that at times I really want to punch in the face (or kick in the junk)
As it is the 5th of November, it is time to honor it and V. V is amazing. First of all he’s played by Hugo Weaving.
I know, what an amazing actor!!! He has some serious fighter skills!
This was my first date with my ex and all I could do was swoon over him. V, that is not my ex.
Besides being an epic fighter, he’s a man with a message and something to fight for.
Now do I agree with everything he does? No. He never should have cut Evey’s hair. A girl’s hair is more than hair, it is a part of their identity, a mark of their femininity. What he did was just wrong there.
See Hook agrees with me.
But you can’t help but be swayed by him. He is so eloquent!
In fact, I became so enthralled that I actually wrote a song about the film from V to Evey. I composed it as I was biking to school and was unable to write it down. Sadly, by the time I got to class I couldn’t remember much. This is about all I can recall:
“I cut off all your hair,
But I swear to you I care
Because I’ve got a vendetta to win your heart
(Win your heart) (Win your heart)”
Silly huh? But what’s a fangirl to do?
So today I have a proposition for you all. Now none of you under obligation:
So last year my friend Benita, who is also a huge V fan, and I were discussing the film. She suggested that we should tag walls with Vs on November 5th to honor him. I thought that was a great idea, but didn’t want to get in trouble for vandalism. I thought we should do it in chalk, as it washes off, but that’s when I came up with a better idea!
But I thought what could make this 5th of November really special would be if we would post this picture on our facebook walls.
And then on 5 of our friends’ walls asking them to do the same. If we all work together we can cover the world!!! Think about it!
There is no sin in killing a beast, only in killing a man. But where does one begin and the other end?
So this year I decided to do something very, very different. Now the in the past, all Horrorfests have ended on a film that takes place on Halloween. This wasn’t a credence that I set out to make, it just kind of happened along the way. With Horrorfest I had always planned on ending on Halloween (1978). I knew it was the best way to end the first year with a big bang. Besides, that year I had done the other slasher films that spanned numerous sequels and remakes (Friday the 13th& Nightmare on Elm Street). Horrorfest II I was trying to also end on a really great film that would produce the same kind of bang, and decided on Children of the Corn as that film was creepy. It also happened to take place on Halloween.
This year I was trying to decide what would be the best opener and closer. I was originally going to open with Metropolis as I had done a post in July referencing it. But after I wrote that post, it just didn’t speak to me as an opener. I started going through my drafts and that’s when I spotted The Wolf Man (1941). The Wolf Man has to be my favorite of the classic horror film monsters (along with The Phantom of the Opera). I hadn’t had a chance to review it yet, and since it was the last of the classics I decided it should be the opener.
Once I wrote that post, I was so excited. You see, I felt I really couldn’t to a post on any werewolf films until I had covered the first one. I thought it was only right to start with the original. With that done, I could move onto any other werewolf film I desired. The possibilities were endless.
With the beginning finished, I then set my sights on the end. What could I do that would really pop? As I started thinking and looking, I saw my draft for The Wolfman (2010). And that’s when it hit me.
I could end Horrorfest III with The Wolfman (2010). It could be like bookends!!!! In the beginning the original that started it all and the end the newest rendition. !!! Yes!! It could work and it will. So here we are The Wolfman (2010).
So a little backstory before we begin the review. As you would have read in an older post, I love The Wolf Man (1941). It is one of my all-time favorite horror films. One day in my photography class, we were watching trailers of different films as we were looking at the cinematography and technique. My teacher was on a Mac which has Front Row, and shows you trailers of the past, present, and future films. One trailer I remember looking at was Nightmare on Elm Street (2010). I wasn’t planning on seeing it, as I hadn’t seen the original. But as we reached the end, I saw The Wolfman.
I screamed ay my teacher, stop!! I want to see that. So we watched the trailer.
AWESOME!!! RIGHT!!! So I knew there were going to be changes, I knew it was going to be nowhere near as good as the original, but I was soooo pumped!! So I watched the trailer in February 2009, and saw the film was slated for that October. I couldn’t wait!!!
I ticked off the months, but then in October I discovered it wasn’t out in theaters.
Yep, there had been some production problems, so they pushed it back to February. FEBRUARY!!! V-Day weekend. I was upset, but what could I do? I just had to wait it out.
But then February came and I decided that it would be my V-day present to myself. You see I have never had a boyfriend or date for V-day, so I always just buy myself whatever I want. It’s actually pretty nice as you don’t have to fight with anyone over where to go or what to see; and you are never, ever, ever, disappointed.
I asked a couple of friends who were also single and we bought tickets for opening night. I knew that I wouldn’t be 100% pleased, but I was looking forward to those improved transformation scenes.
So moving on to the review.
So let’s go back in time. The year is 1891 and we are in England. Lawrence Talbot (Benicio del Toro) is the second son of Sir John Talbot (Anthony Hopkins). He and his dad had a lot of issues and problems so he left as soon as he could. Since then he has been a renowned Shakespearean actor, famous throughout all England for his Hamlet and Macbeth.
He recieves a letter from a Gwen Conliffe (Emily Blunt). She was engaged to his older brother Ben, but he has been murdered. Not only was he murdered, but horribly mangled by something. When Lawrence gets the news, he immediately returns home for the funeral.
When he gets there he sees his father and the two have a harsh welcome. Unlike The Wolf Man (1941), where father and son were trying to work on repairing their relationship, Sir John doesn’t care. He still has huge issues with his son not being what he wants him to be. The way that Sir John treats him, causes Lawrence to want to leave, and go far away…but he can’t. He has to properly say good-bye to his brother.
Lawerence does try to get away from his father as he knows staying near him will just cause more fights. He also really wants to see his brother. So he heads down to the local slaughterhouse where the body is kept before burial.
I know but you have to remember this is a small village in 19th century England. They didn’t have a mortuary to hold the body until burial. They also didn’t understand how diseases spread and that it is not a good idea to have a dead body near your food.
There at the slaughterhouse, the butcher gives Laurence his brother’s items, that is everything found on him at the time of his death.
Later that night he heads over to the local pub for a drink and overhears the gossip on the murder. Most of the villagers blame a band of gypsies. Not long after they moved into the area, Ben was murdered. In fact, someone remembers a case occuring years earlier of gypsies moving into the area and dead bodies surfacing. As they discuss this, Laurence remembers that Ben had had a gypsy medallion on him.
This is the first time that Laurence has ever met his brother’s fiance Gwen. Now for you Wolf Man fans, you should recognize that it is the same name given to Laurence’s love interest in the original film. Except in that film she was to marry the hunter/groundsman of the Talbot estates. Anyways, Laurence meets her and can instantly see why his brother fell for her, as he himself is attracted to her.
Of course Lawrence is the most amazing, gentleman/good guy that he would never ever think of putting the moves on her. He does thank her for trying to be there for his father and for everything. He also let’s her know that if she ever needs him, he’ll be there for him.
Gwen is also attracted to him, and you really can’t blame her. If Benecio is in his early 40s, that means her husband to-be was hecka old. Also Benecio/Lawrence has this adorable hurt puppy dog look that makes you just want to show him he is special, and that you care for him. He looks so sad that it makes you just want to take him, and take care of him. Making sure is life is bright and never unhappy again. That look is killer on any girl as it flies through their best defenses. Major chink in the armor.
Sorry, digressing….So with Lawrence back, and the funeral over, Gwen decides to return to London. Laurence would like to leave too, but wth his brother’s death, he now is sole heir to the estate and the first son. When his father dies he will become Sir Lawrence and be expected to uphold all those duties (House of Lords most likely). This isn’t the life that Laurence wants, but at this moment he is too loaded with grief and confusion over his brother’s death that he doesn’t question or try to rebel.
So with Gwen gone, and his father an emotionless robot who only cares about himself; Lawrence takes it upon himself to try and figure out what happened to his loving brother. Now Lawrence is putting on the black cowl and trying to become a vigilante or anything, he just wants some closure about his brother’s death. He heads down to the gypsy camp to try to get some answers.
Where were you the night in question?
That night is a full moon
Which as you’ve guessed it means trouble is going to be roaming about. Lawrence meets up with the gypsy woman Maleva, who tells him that something truly evil has attacked his brother.
But before he can get anything more, the townspeople attack the village. They try to drive the gypsies from the area, and kill a dancing bear they believe to be the beast that killed Ben Talbot.
Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!
As they are attacking, a superhuman, wolfish creature descends upon the area and starts slaughtering people.
And I’m not talking about just a few people, this is like a Scream sequel. The body count by the end of this film is in the double digits.
Hey, my generation is the Millennials. They aren’t as classy, they need lots more blood and guts.
Anyways, the werewolf is attacking everyone, and Lawrence spots a young boy running into the woods. At the same time the werewolf spots the boy, causing Lawrence to put himself in the way in order to protect the child. As he does so, the wolf attacks him.
And he gets bitten.
Malvea find him and cares for him, despite the community telling her that it is better for all if they let him die. But Malvea can’t, she says he still is a man and deserves to be treated as such. She also states that only a loved one can kill him.
Malvea honey, I don’t think so. Anyone can kill a werewolf as long as they have some kind of silver object. Nowhere is that in the original film, as if you read my post you would know that film revolutionized werewolf mythology. Click here to check it out now.
And besides that, is there nothing you can do for him? You are a cinematic gypsy in a horror film! You’re supposed to have a potion or herb or special thing that can protect you from turning. Now if you have read my Dracula, The Mummy, The Wolf Man, or Scream 2 posts, you know I make fun of the films when the guy is given a special charm to protect him but then stupidly turns it over to the girl he loves, EVEN THOUGH IT WILL NOT WORK FOR HER.
Every time!
But I really enjoy that part of the film, as it humanizes the character and makes you adore them. I mean its sweet how much they love the girl in their life that if there is anything that can do to ward of the monster, they prefer them to have it. Even though by doing so they make things worse, hey it’s the thought that counts.
I also hate how gypsies have been giving “B” standing in modern horror films. I mean without their supreme wisdom and knowledge in the supernatural, they are just nomadic people. In real life they are still awesome, in a horror film? That’s just boring.
But I guess that’s just they way it is these days.
So where was I? Oh yeah, Lawrence has been bitten by the werewolf. He is moved back to Talbot Manor, and Gwen returns from London to nurse him back to health. While recovering he has really strange dreams. Lots of blood, murder, and even his mother appears. You see his mother died when he was very, very young and her death severely traumatized her as he discovered her dead body. But why would that death be haunting him now? Is it because of Ben? The slaughtered people seen in the gypsy camp? Or is it something else?
Lawrence actually heals pretty quickly, which he finds kind of odd. And that’s not the only thing that’s odd in the Talbot homestead. One day his father’s manservant, Singh (Art Malik), shows him a case of silver bullets and hints that something monstrous is walking through the woods.
Weird
He’s not the only one concerned. Inspector Abberline (Hugo Weaving) comes to town. Yes, yes I’m going to admit it. Any film with Hugo Weaving gets an 10x increase in awesome. I mean this guy is truly one of the most talented actors alive. When he ecomes a role you totally forget that he is Hugo Weaving and just think of him as that character. For me I’m always going, Hugo Weaving was in that film? Oh that’s who was that amazing character. I totally forgot that character was being played by an actor. I mean he is that good. You have Agent Smith in The Matrix, Elrond in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, V in V for Vendetta, the Red Skull in Captain America: The First Avenger, and that’s just to name a few.
Anyways, Inspector Abberline comes to town to investigate. He already believes he knows who the killer is…Lawrence.
Seriously? Lawrence? A Murderer? Come on, this guy wouldn’t hurt a fly. I mean look at him, really look at him. There isn’t a murderous bone in his body! Besides, he just arrived in town so there is no way he could have murdered his brother. Dude, you’re dumb.
But it isn’t completely ungrounded. You see, Lawrence has a history of “mental problems.” You see, I didn’t want to give you the full story so early, but Lawrence’s mother’s death really did a number on him. Now today, we would really try to help the child as we understand such events as those are highly traumatic and can cause serious issues. Then not so much. Lawrence discovered the body and was very upset. He was afraid and kept mentioning a monster had hurt her. Instead of trying to help his kid, Sir John sent him to an insane asylum, where he was tortured. And I mean torture. Many methods to improve these patients were electrotherapy, iron cuffs/collars, bloodletting, dipping the patient in hot or ice-cold water, and a gyrating chair “to shake up the blood and tissues of the body to restore equilibrium”. By the 1900s, many hospitals had added lobotomies to their lists of “cures”.
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah not fun. So Aberline thinks he is the perfect suspect. Laurence though, is having none of that.
Lawrence Talbot: I get your implication, and resent it. You’re clearly aware of my personal history, as I believe I’m aware of yours. Weren’t you in charge of the ripper case a couple of years back?
Det. Aberline: You’re a direct man. So I’ll be equally direct with you. I am not your enemy, Mr. Talbot. You’ve been seen as Hamlet, Macbeth, Richard III, all with that same face. A prudent man would ask who else might be living inside that head of yours?
Laurence doesn’t quite know what is going on and asks Gwen to leave as he’s worried something might happen to her. That night he follows his father, and watches him go down to the family crypt, to the area where his dead mother resides. There he finds a chair with restranints. His father locks the door and stays in the crypt, leaving a confused Laurence.
Weird
As Laurence turns to go inside, he becomes…The Wolfman!
Now this was worth the price of admission. These transformation scenes are awesome!!!
Freakin’ sweet!
So now that he is a wolfman, he does what they all do. Ravage the countryside.
The next day the Inspector comes for him and has him arrested to be sent back to the “mental hospital”
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
How horrible is that. I mean this has to be Laurence’s biggest fear, to be sent back to that horrible place. Poor guy. And I was doing some research last night, not only were insane asylums awful, but the one he has to go to, Bedlam, was one of the worst.
Dr. Hoennegar, the leading physician, takes Laurence under his wing and subjects him to ice treatments, that is to be consistently dunked into ice water and left there for long periods of time.
Can you imagine?
And oh joy, he also gets electroshock therapy.
While he is incarcerated, Sir John comes to visit and tells him a story. You see Sir John is the cause of all this.
Back in the day when he was younger and hunting in India, he heard this rumor about an unusual predator. He travels to the remote cave that the predator calls his home and while there was bit by a feral boy and became a victim of lycanthropy.
Except, it was more than “imagining” he actually became a werewolf and began attacking things.
That’s when Laurence realizes everything about his mother’s death makes total sense. He did see a beast kill her, but it was his father! His father killed his mother and then sent him to a mental institution!!! What a truly, truly evil man to allow his son to be tortured. And now for a second time!!!
Now this was my biggest issue with the film. Every other part of the movie was actually pretty great. It was an amazing homage to the orginal film. Benecio del Toro was actually a huge fan of the original and tried to bring a lot of Lon Chaney Jr. into his acting. But the thing I absolutely hate was the changed relationship with his father.
It just didn’t work in my opinion. I mean that is what truly made the original fantastic, was that everything in his life was going great, he was a great man; and this tragedy strikes that ruins everything. He and his father were finally, finally becoming close and working out all their issues. He had met a nice girl, even though she was engaged, and had hope for that relationship. He loved England and was getting back into the groove of it. But then this horrible thing happens and he has to say good-bye to it all. He knows he is going to die, but what does he do? He goes to his dad and makes sure that he has something to protect him. Because even though he has spent years hating and being angry at his father, he truly loves him. It’s just so wonderful and sad all at the same time
But having the dad the evil guy, I don’t know…it just makes the film feel as if it is missing a huge part of it. It doesn’t hit in the heart like the orginal.
But moving on, so his father murdered his mother and then sent the only witness to a torture chamber (mental hospital) to ensure that those memoris would never come to light as they are only crazy “child fantasies”.
Since then, Sir John has had his manservant Singh has been locking him up so he doesn’t wreck havoc anymore. However, Ben was planning to leave with Gwen once they were married and this enraged Sir John. He wasn’t locked up that night and killed him to keep him from going away. He became so incensed with the power that he ran wild later, killing all in the gypsies camp and biting Laurence purposely.
Omg what a–
He did it on purpose because he wanted a fall guy. He wants to roam free as a werewolf and he allows his son to be caught and tortured. Argh!!! Urhg! this man! I;m so angry I can’t spell right. He needs a good sock in the face.
After he finishes his story he leaves, intent on never returning.
He deserves another punch.
That night Laurence is taken to the observation room, where the good doctor presents him as a curio to his collegues. Unbeknowest to him, moonlight is coming through the window and landing on Laurence. This causes him to turn into….the Wolfman!
This is one of the coolest scenes, but unfortunately I could only find it in Italian. Sorry! But you don’t really need to understand what they are saying to enjoy the effects/makeup.
Dr. Hoenneger: Ah, Mr. Talbot. We are here tonight to illustrate conclusively that Mr. Talbot’s fears are quite irrational. So, we will remain in this room together, and once Mr. Talbot has witnessed that the full moon holds no sway over him, that he remains a perfectly ordinary human being, he will have taken his first small step down the long road to mental recovery. We are all aware that Mr. Talbot has suffered quite traumatic personal experiences. He witnessed his mother’s self mutilations. His young mind, unable to accept it, created a fantastical truth, that his father is to blame. That is father is literally a monster. But, your father is not a werewolf. You were not bitten by a werewolf. You will not become a werewolf, any more than I will sprout wings and fly out of that window.
Freakin’ AWESOME
Totally fangirl over that.
Laurence runs away, being chased by the Inspector, and also wreaking havoc. There are some truly amazing shots of him by the bridge, on statues. Just plain awesome!
The next day he visits Gwen in her antique shop. They realize they have fallen in love, but Laurence knows nothing can come of it. He has to kill his father and himself in order to protect others.
Inspector Abberline comes to see if Lawrence is there, but he is too late. Lawrence has already left for Talbot estate.
Gwen refuses to believe that they can’t be together. She starts studying lycanthropy and tracks down Maleva the gypsy for more advice. Maleva cannot help her, as there is no cure for werewolf.
Noo!
Meanwhile, the Inspector has also headed back to the village and this time armed with silver bullets. That show in the Observation room must have finally convinced him that werewolves are real. Gwen also heads toward Talbot Hall.
Lawrence is the first to arrive and discovers a murdered Singh. He takes his gun loaded with the silver bullets and starts hunting his father.
Sir John Talbot: You have me at a disadvantage. It makes me happy.
Lawrence Talbot: What does?
Sir John Talbot: Well, seeing you here like this. My son returned. It is glorious, isn’t it?
Lawrence Talbot: No, it’s hell.
Sir John is a freak. He needs help. Serious help.
Anyways, it turns out there are no bullets in Singh’s gun, but blanks. Sir John did that on purpose as he will not be destroyed. Sir John attacks his son and the two begin fighting. The full moon comes up and transfroms them into werewolves. And yes, yes we have a werewolf fight. I personally thought it was a little cheesy (and dumb) but this is the millenal generation. And it is something the people want.
So after Laurence burns and decapiitates his father, Gwen walks into the house.
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GWEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The wolfman, Lawrence, attacks her. Luckily, the inspector had also just arrived on the scene. He tries to use his gun, but misses allowing him to be bit by the werewolf. Gwen steals the gun and takes off, being pursued by the wolfman.
He chases her to a waterfall. With nowhere left to go, Gwen starts begging and pleading with the wolfman, hoping to get to Lawrence. Lawrence reason faintly returns to the beast, who hesitates. He then hears the sound of a posse coming to attack him.
Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!
While he is concentrated on them, Gwen shoots him through the heart.
Noo!
Laurence changes back to his human form, and before he dies thanks Gwen for saving him.
Lawrence Talbot: [his eyes open after being shot by a silver bullet and transforming back into a human] Gwen?
Gwen Conliffe: [crying] I’m sorry…
Lawrence Talbot: It had to be this way.
Gwen Conliffe: I’m sorry.
Lawrence Talbot: [he holds her hand] Thank you. [Dies]
The posse and an injured inspector arrive just as Laurence dies.
So that is The Wolfman. Now do I think it is as good as the original? HECK NO! But that does not mean it isn’t an awesome film. Besides that one thing that majorly irks me, I really enjoyed it. I thought it was a pretty awesome film. The cinematography is beautiful, the acting incredible, and those transformation scenes? Freakin’ awesome! And I did like how they moved the story to show how harshly “mental disabled” people were treated. And you know what? Most of the people who were in those didn’tr even have serious problems. They would throw in the homeless, those with learning disabilities, women of large fortune who had husands that wanted the money but not the girl, etc. It was horrible. Horrible.
But back to the film, I think it is a worthwile view. It may not be exactly how I imagined it, but you do have some great werewolves in this, and no Jacob ones. Real werewolves.
And so ends another Horrorfest. I am so pleased with this years as I was able to redeem myself from last year’s only half the month’s posts. 31 days of terror and woe once again. I hope you all enjoyed it. I wish you all a very happy, and safe, Halloween. May it be everything you wish it to be.
“All three monsters – the Dracula, Wolf Man, and the Mummy – all the same critter, which means we need to catch this freak before he “Creature from the Black Lagoon’s” somebody.”
So I know that I have had quite a few TV episodes this October. I know that I went a little overboard, but I wanted to include this anyway. You see I have been wanting to review this episode for a while, but felt that I couldn’t do it until I had reviewed the original The Wolf Man film. As I finally did it this October, it allowed me to finally be able to talk about this episode. This is my all-time favorite episode because it has what I love! Monster Movies!!
Yep it parodies a series of Classic Horror Films: Dracula (1931), The Mummy (1932), Wolf Man (1941). In fact to further the homage to classic horror film, they even filmed the whole thing in black and white!
So Supernatural is a show that like Grimm, every episode could be done for Horrorfest. The show consists of two hunter brothers, Dean and Sam Winchester, who travel all over the U.S. hunting ghosts, demons, vampires, werewolves, etc. As the seasons progress they get more focused on the battle between angels and demons and stopping the end of the world. It’s an awesome show.
So this episode takes place in season 4. There have been a lot of angst and sadness
(I won’t go into detail in case you haven’t watched it and want to) and the two brothers have finally been reunited.
So Dean and San are driving into Pennsylvania on the trail of vampires. Sam is worried about the apocalypse, but Dean convinces him to stop off at an Oktoberfest to relax a bit. They find the Sheriff and introduce themselves as Agent Angus and Agent Young (homage to Angus Young of AC/DC).
There they are told to speak to the witness Ed Brewer, but the Sheriff doesn’t put much stock in his testimony. They run into the very beautiful waitress Jaimie, who points them toward Ed. There Ed describes the Vampire as being the one out of the 1931 Dracula film.
Yep, Dean and Sam are shocked, but Ed insists that it is true. The guy looked just like Bela Lugosi’s Dracula.
In fact the vampire even uses the Transylvanian accent.
Sam and Dean confer and determine that it is probably a twilight-esque fan and that it isn’t really strange enough for them to stick around.
The night however, things change.
A couple is making out in a car when a werewolf comes upon them and attacks.
The next day, Sam and Dean talk to the girl who survived the attack, Anne-Marie, and discover that the killer looked just like Lon Chaney Jr. in the 1941 Wolf Man film.
The sheriff also finds wolf hair on the dead body. Sam and Dean are confused as real werewolves don’t have wolf hair.
That night a guard discovered an Egyptian sarcophagus at the docks. As the guard is about to call to figure out what is going on, the mummy rises from its grave.
The Mummy attacks the guard, strangling him.
The Winchesters go down to investigate and try and figure out what is going on. There they discover the sarcophagus is actually a movie prop that has been laced with dry ice. Dean leaves Sam to figure out a theory, while he heads down to meet up with Jamie for their date.
Meanwhile, Jamie has been waiting for a while and decides that Dean is most likely standing her up. She starts to walk home, when she runs into Dracula.
Blood!
He calls her his reincarted love, and tries to kidnap her, but Jamie sprays him with pepper spray and then runs away…right into Dean. Dean gets a punch into Dracula
But then finds himself overpowered by the vampire
The vampire calls him “Harker” (reference to Jonathan Harker the fiancé of Mina [the woman Dracula tries to take]). Dracula tries to bite Dean, but he rips his ear off and a medallion. With his ear gone, Dracula runs away and jumps on his scooter.
Nope you heard my correctly
Back at the bar, Dean shows Sam the ear and medallion.
“Dean Winchester: I, uh, pulled it off during the fight. Look at the label on the ribbon.
Sam Winchester: It’s a costume rental.
Dean Winchester: All three monsters – the Dracula, Wolf Man, and the Mummy – all the same critter, which means we need to catch this freak before he “Creature from the Black Lagoon‘s” somebody.”
They determine that they are dealing with a shapeshifter obsessed with classic film. Now if you have been reading my posts posts, such as Phantom of the Megaplex, Scream, and An American Werewolf in London, you know probably realize another reason why I love this episode. Yep, I can relate to the shapeshifter. I love classic film (especially horror) and I can completely understand him.
Anyways, so Sam, being the scholar, recognizes the name Harker and figures that the shapeshifter is trying to recreate the 1931 film, Dean being Jonathan and Jamie being Mina. I guess that makes Sam, Van Helsing.
The two figure that it must be someone who knows Jamie and is obsessed with her. When they question her, Jamie can’t think of a person who is strange or crazy. Lucy, her best friend and coworker, mentions that Ed recentlly moved to town and is the projectionist for the old theater. Plus he has a crush on Jamie.
HIghly suspicious
Sam goes to investigate while Dean stays with Jamie. The two are drinking beer and having a deep conversation, when Lucy interrupts. She is on her way out the door, but Jamie invites her to stay and have a drink with them.
Back on the case, Sam has gone into the old theater and discovers Ed playing the pipe organ.
He pulls on Ed’s ear, but find it fast in place.
“Sam Winchester: [tries to tear out Ed’s ear] It’s supposed to come off.
Ed Brewer: No, it’s not!”
This means Ed is not the shapeshifter!!! But if he isn’t…who is?
Back at the bar, Dean and Jaimie are getting groggy and falling asleep. Dean punches Lucy in the face, and discovers that Lucy is not “Lucy” but the shapeshifter.
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And she has drugged the two of them. Dean tries to hold on, but faints.
Dean wakes up and finds himself in lederhosen.
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
In a Frankenstein-esque dungeon.
Now I really like what Dracula has to say here. It’s so poetic. “Life is small, meager, messy. The movies are grand, simple, elegant. I have chosen elegance.”, it’s very Movie Mason from The Phantom of the Megaplex.
Anyways, Dracula is about to electrocute Dean and have a “movie” where the monster wins, when something interrupts him. The doorbell rings and the pizza delivery guy is there.
Pizza Delivery Guy: Uh, pizza delivery?
Dracula: Ah, you have brought a repast. Excellent. Continue to be of such service, and your life will be spared.
Pizza Delivery Guy: Uh-huh. That’ll be $15.50.
Dracula: Tell me…
Pizza Delivery Guy: Yeah?
Dracula: Is there garlic on this pizza?
Pizza Delivery Guy: I don’t know. Did you order garlic?
Dracula: No!
Pizza Delivery Guy: Then no. Look, mister, I’ve got four other deliveries to make. You want to just pay me the money so I can go?
Dracula: Of course. Yes. But I have a coupon.
And why not take a pizza break? Pizza is awesome.
I love Pizza
So now that Dracula has food for later, he prepares to finish Harker/Dean, but is interrupted by Jamie waking up.
Meanwhile back at the bar, Sam has figured out that with Jamie and Dean missing it must be Lucy. He sets out for her house.
Back in the dungeon, Dracula wants Jamie to dress in the gown he bought her and eat pizza with him.
Just like the Mummy, trying to dress his “reincarnated bride” in his old love’s clothes.
Jamie is really freaked out as she has been drugged, was betryed by her best friend (as Dracula was pretending to be “Lucy”) and is stuck with a killer. Dracula tries to apologize and tells Jamie his backstory. He was called a monster from the beginning of his life and beat by his father. He found solace in monster movies, and achieves strength and confidence when taking their form.
This part actually reminded me a lot of The Phantom of the Opera. Here is a man who is disfigured and mistreated because of it. He knows only how to hate as he has been so mistreated. It makes you wonder how things might have been different if one person had loved him.
While Dracula is reminiscing, unbeknownst to him Sam has slipped into the house and is skulking around the dungeon. Dracula knocks Jamie out and turns his attention to Sam and the freed Dean. They start fighting, with Sam being thrown through a fake door. Dean and Dracula are struggling to get the gun with silver bullets along with trying to knock the other out. Dean tries a groin attack and move for the gun, but Dracula throws him back. Before he can do anything else, Jamie, who has just woken up, grabs the gun and shoots him.
With Dracula conceding, that maybe this is how the “film” should end.
The next day Dean says good-bye to Jamie. The two brothers agree that’s it was nice doing some old-fashioned monster hunting, rather than the angels & demons stuff. They discuss what film they would want to live in as the episode ends.
![Count Dracula: Van Helsing. [Van Helsing turns to face Count Dracula] Count Dracula: Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country. Van Helsing: I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy. Count Dracula: You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived. Van Helsing: Should you escape us, Dracula. We know how to save Miss Mina's soul if not her life. Count Dracula: If she dies by day. But I shall see that she dies by night. Van Helsing: And I will have Carfax Abbey torn down, stone by stone, excavated a mile around. I will find your earth-box and drive that stake through your heart. Count Dracula: Come here. [Dracula raises his hand to hypnotise Van Helsing] Count Dracula: Come here...Your will is strong, Van Helsing. [Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him] Count Dracula: More wolfbane? Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count. Count Dracula: Indeed. [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]](https://janeaustenrunsmylife.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/images21.jpeg)
