I Want to Recreate Your Perfect Christmas: Holiday in Handcuffs (2007)

Romantic Moment #3

Holiday in Handcuffs (2007) 

I remember when this movie first aired during abc family‘s 25 Days of Christmas. It has Melissa Joan Hart who I had loved watching in Clarissa Explains it All and Sabrina the Teenaged Witch.

And it had Mario Lopez from one of my favorite shows growing up, Saved by the Bell. 

So of course I had to see it. It wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be, but still good.

So Trudy is having a rough time. Her boyfriend dumped her on the day they were supposed to go away for her family’s big Christmas getaway.

Her hair had a major accident and is not only fried, but in ugly curls.

Misses an important job interview:

And she lost her job.

Meanwhile, David has just arrived to propose to his girlfriend. Trudy has a complete breakdown, snaps, and kidnaps David to have him be her “boyfriend.”

This big getaway has all the keys and phones locked up, so David has no way to get help or to explain to his girlfriend why he stood her up. At first he tries to leave, but then decides to get into the spirit and outshow Trudy.

However, the two actually spend a lot of time talking and getting to know each other-enjoying each other’s company.

Will they work things out to be friends…or more? Or will Trudy be spending the rest of her days in a jail cell?

Most Romantic Moment: Bringing Your Favorite Memory Back

So during one of their heart-to-hearts talks, Trudy shares about her perfect Christmas. One year she was supposed to be in an ice-skating performance and it was canceled because of snow. She was so disappointed, that her father sprayed water over the patio, icing it up and decorated the whole area with lights so she could perform for them there.

Aw!

As this Christmas has pretty much sucked for Trudy, and seeing how her parents treat her, David decides to do something really special, a Christmas surprise. He has recreated her perfect Christmas!  He sprayed the patio so it was icy, and put lights up everywhere; and asks her to show him her ice-skating routine.

So sweet!

I mean here he is-kidnapped, taken away from proposing to his girlfriend, living a lie-yet he recognizes the hurt Trudy has and wants to help her. So romantic!

To start Romance is in the Air: Part V, go to Who Says I Have to Stop: Fireproof (2008)

For the previous post, go to Please Accept My A-POEM-ogy: So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)

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For more on Holiday in Handcuffs, go to On the 8th Day ‘Til Christmas: Holiday in Handcuffs (2007)

For more on Melissa Joan Hart, go to Portrait of a Fangirl

For more on Mario Lopez, go to A Study in Fandoms

He is Not Here; He Has Risen

Happy Easter!

So I don’t usually talk about an image on Easter, but this year I felt like adding one in. The image I choose for today is Risen Christ by Michelangelo. This is one of Michelangelo least favorite works as things went wrong from beginning to end. Michelangelo had a large ego, and when commissioned to create this piece proudly stated that he would complete it on four years. But the first thing to go wrong, was the marble he was carving turned out to be defective. A large dark streak ran through the middle of it, and all over what was to be the face of Christ. Another had to be ordered and shipped.

It was eventually completed in 1521 (three years after the promised date) and Michelangelo’s assistant Pietro Urbano installed at Santa Maria sopra Minerva in Rome. Urbano also did a finish to parts of the sculpture that were unwanted by Michelangelo.

Later on, during the Baroque period, the Christ sculpture was covered with a bronze loincloth and the hands were pierced to represent his death on the cross, even though Michelangelo specifically wanted to leave that out. But, even with all that happening; this sculpture is still incredibly beautiful.

Michelangelo always liked to show the spirit of the figure, rather than how they would look in real life. When he did David, he made him a strong, muscular man to represent the warrior spirit and strength of faith he had. With Pietá, he made Mary look not the age of a mother of a 33 year old, but instead having her look as young as when and heard that she would be the mother of Christ.

With this sculpture, Michelangelo has decided to make Christ not as he was on the cross-injured, beaten, scarred, etc. Instead he wants to show him in a perfect glory, strong, body complete, perfect, etc. With this he is showing how all will be in heaven-strong, complete-no matter what our appearance was in the physical world, our spiritual body will never be destroyed or have any thing wrong with them.

It is the same way with the resurrection of the dead. Our earthly bodies are planted in the ground when we die, but they will be raised to live forever. 43 Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength. 44 They are buried as natural human bodies, but they will be raised as spiritual bodies.” 1 Corinthians 15:42-44

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Michelangelo also has a great use of contrapposto and as always, pays a close attention to detail in hair and muscles.

Michelangelo also gives Christ the symbols to hold, the cross and a staff. The cross representing the sacrifice that he performed to save us all, and the staff to show that he the great shepherd to guide us as we follow him.

For more paintings of Christ, go to At Noon, Darkness Came Over the Whole Land…

For more on Michelangelo, go to Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas

So I know you’ve probably been wondering, what’s going on? Where have I been? Have I just crashed from my Valentine’s Day postings?

i'mtired

Well not exactly. I’m sure you have seen on the news how crazy the weather in California has been. We actually had to evacuate the area for fear of flooding.

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Headed up more north, where I connected to the internet and was able to finish the Valentine’s Day countdown. Then we returned home, as no water had overflowed, repacked and planned to head down to Southern California to wait out the evacuation.

I'm outta here

I’m outta here

But they were going to get the worse storm in 20 years. We decided to skip it, which was good as everyone I knew house’s got flooded.

Not good

Not good

So we were trying to decide where to head next, when Las Vegas was just randomly chosen. There we headed out in a trailer, with my cat (as I wasn’t leaving her) for Sin City.

I'd never leave you.

I’d never leave you.

Now I’ve never really had a desire to go to Vegas. I like gambling, but just for fun. Anytime money is involved I lose; if we play for fun, chores, candy-I’m golden.

I-got-this-reaction-gif

If money-

idon'tgotthis

But that is where everyone wants to go, so we went. Well it took a day to get there as California is huge.

What?!

What?!

We got there around five, but were too tired we just stayed there in the trailer resting.

Draculasleep

The next day it poured! Like crazy pouring, like monsoon weather. It was so crazy and we were so tired of the water that we decided to just stay in again.

Saturday and Doing Nothing

The next day was sunny, but cool which was nice, and we decided to head out. But you know me, I’m not normal.

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Now what I wanted to see more than anything was the mob museum.

TheGodfatherTaketheCannoli

It was AMAZING! Tri-level, with information from the early years to present time. It was chock full of information on the 1920s to the 60s. The later years focused more on the police and FBI. It was extremely interactive with video in a replica of the Las Vegas courthouse, depicting the hearings and using actual furnture from the time period.

loveitSupernatural

They had practice with weapons, a fake tommy gun that you could pretend shoot:

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and the wall from the St. Valentine’s Massacre that was brough over and reassembled brick by brick. You could see the bullet holes.

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There is so much more, I barely even skimmed the surface in this review of all the amazing things this building has to offer. If you are ever there you should check it out as it was AMAZING!

Iloveit love

After that we drove down the strip looking at all the lighted signs and buildings.

What?!

Wow!

The next day we hit the casinos, but not to play.

Whattheheck

Yep, I wanted to look at all the architecture.

SayWhat

Hey, I told you I was different.

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I loved looking at them, and spent hours walking and checking them all out. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see everything, but I tried my best. My favorite was probably Caesar’s Palace. I loved the extensive details in recreating the roman architecture. It was beautiful. As a former Art History student, I was enthralled.

They even have a life-size replica of Michelangelo’s David, made from the same marble as the original.

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Michaelangelo purposely made this disproportionate as it was supposed to me placed high above on a roof in Florence, so that all could see it.

The sculpture is designed to show David’s warrior soul, not actual physical age, that is why is so muscular and strong. It was also designed to be right before he throws the slingshot, his face in fierce contemplation. It is amazing the way Michelangelo is able to create life out of stone.

The Flamingo is the oldest casino on the strip. It was created by the mobster Bugsy Siegal and his friends and the reason for his death. It was taking too long to build, using too much money, and many believed Bugsy was skimming off the top. Never try to cheat the mob, they will always take you out.

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The Paris Casino was also amazing as it tried hard to replicate the city-from the Arc de Triomphe, to the “cobblestone” floors, to the Rococo style artwork and Salon furniture.

What?!

Wow

And it was cool looking at the Bellagio first hand instead of just a movie, like Ocean’s Eleven.

But there was one big disappointment for me.

Laura Angry Mad Upset

So you all know how much I love Elvis, I am a super fan.

ElvisPresleypandemonium

So I was looking for an Elvis themed souvenir in all the souvenir shops on the strip. But I couldn’t find anything!

SayWhat

I know, right?! I searched every where and was getting desperate…at this point I would have bought anything.

So cool, I want it to be true.

But there was nothing, nada, zip!

Life'sNotFairPrincessBride

I know, crazy! No Elvis in Vegas! No nothing! Not even an impersonator! Not a copy of the film Viva Las Vegas!

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

Oh well, I could probably find something cheaper online.

Supernaturaldean whinchester shrug smile oh well

But hey, just because I missed out doesn’t mean you should. So Elvis, take us out:

ElvisPresleyDanceDancing

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For more on Vegas, go to A Fantabulous Post

For more on the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, go to You’re Sad So I’m Making This Day Extra Special: The Bikini in the Soup, Bones (2011)

For more on Michelangelo, go to The Death of Christ

For more Elvis, go to Someone is Killing By Copying Old Murders!: Real Murders

Keep Clear Of the Moor. Beware the Moon: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

an-american-werewolf-in-london-19811Keep clear of the moor. Beware the moon, lads.

This movie has been referenced in so many books and films that I had been dying to watch it. I wanted to see why everyone loved. So this past Friday the 13th, I decided to watch it and The Wolf Man (1941) as it was a full moon. But when I saw it, I found it was HORRIBLE!!!! One of the worst films ever!! On par with Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and The Beast of Yucca Flats

Mistake Great Gatsby

The main character, David, is so bland and hardly developed that I don’t even care if he becomes a werewolf or not. He also acts crazy all the freakin’ time. In The Wolf Man (1941), Larry thinks he’s crazy, realizes that he’s not, and then tries to stop turning into a werewolf and hurting others. David on the other hand seems to revel in the crazy, and doesn’t seem sad at all that his friend is dead as he is enjoying Nurse Price, etc. While The Wolf Man  is sad and tragic, this was just boring and…more boring.

Jerk

It took over an hour to see David turn! Over an hour! This movie is an hour and a half and I don’t want to have to sit through an hour of crazy David and naked David and have no werewolf!

I don't think so

This is like Godzilla (2014)!!!! If I’m watching a monster movie, I want to see that monster mentioned in the title! The Wolf Man (1941), has a wolf right away, as Bela is a werewolf, and then we see Larry turn at the half hour mark. That’s how its done people!!

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

They really should have changed the title of the film to David Naughton, My Naked Body, as that is really what this film is about. We see more nudity and sex than we do a werewolf, which is super disappointing.

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I felt like Dracula in Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf.

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I started a M&M eating game. For every time David was naked I would eat an M&M. My stomach started hurting barely in.

shadowofadoubt unhappy

 I have to admit I am getting ahead of myself. Lets go back to the beginning and go through some of the issues.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

So for those of you who haven’t seen the film, Jack and David are Americans backpacking through Europe after they have just graduated from college. They are lost in the moors and come upon a pub called the Slaughtered Lamb.

I think the name is a message to steer away.

I think the name is a message to steer away.

[Side Note: the pub is based on a real one that was destroyed years ago. After the film, they opened one up in New York.]

So as the two are walking towards the pub, David tells Jack knock-knock jokes. And I kid you not, he doesn’t get them.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

Like who doesn’t understand knock-knock jokes? I mean three-year old children understand that concept. How did Jack even graduate? And more importantly, why did they even include that in the film?

MeanGirls I know right!

And why would you ever enter a place called the Slaughtered Lamb? It just doesn’t sound like there will be anything good there. I’m with Jack on that one, you should’ve passed on it David.

Bad things happen when you don't listen

Bad things happen when you don’t listen

So they go into the Slaughtered Lamb, Jack sees a pentagram and candles on the wall and he begins telling David all kinds of trivia from The Wolf Man (1941).

AmericanWerewolfinLondon

The two end up getting kicked out of the pub and start wandering the moor, when a werewolf attacks.

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It attacks Jack and David takes off running.

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Yep he takes off. You horrible man, you let your friend die! How could you??!! He was trying to help you and when the wolf attacks him you just RUN OFF???!!!

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

So David ends up in the hospital with a “wolf” bite while Jack ends up in the morgue.

Your fault!

Your fault!

And that’s when Nurse Price enters the picture.

Ugh

Ugh. Hate her.

Nurse Price is crazy and a skank. Now I don’t like to call women that, but she plays with David’s junk to get him to eat! I’m serious!!!

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

She must have a thing for sick/crazy guys.

Plus she is just annoying in how she acts. Nurse Price calls Mark Twain Samuel Clemens when she is reading A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court I know that is his real name, but who actually goes around using it? NOBODY! Everyone calls him Mark Twain. And I know the director is trying to draw parallels between the stories, but no movie, no.

No thank you

The only similarity between the two is an American in Britain. NOTHING ELSE!

David doesn’t have the most fun in the hospital. He sees dead Jack and actually talk to him (weird scene). Jack tells David he is going to be a werewolf and he believes it. David is eventually allowed to check out as his bite is not serious. Nurse Price invites David back to her place and tells him she wants to be with him. She says “I don’t really bring strange men home…I’ve only been with seven men, of which three were one-night stands”

Girl Please

Sounds like you do bring strange men home since that is about half the men you’ve slept with, and David will make that four out of eight.

ew! Gross Yuck

All I can think is how many were people presumed to be crazy (as at this point she thinks David is just imbalanced as he says he is a werewolf)? I mean she’s like Sam Winchester over here. (She actually is as he slept with a werewolf. And a demon. Dated another demon, and was involved with some other monsters.)

Sam Winchester Werewolf

So as Nurse Price and David head back to her flat (apartment) they comment on how high the price of all food is. I’m like,

Girl Please

You paid like £5 for a bag of groceries. I wish food was that cheap.

Why? Why!

Why? Why!

Anyways so we have a second visit from Jack and to be honest, this film is more about the Leprechaun (1993)/Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon a Time Zombie Ghost Jack, than it is about a werewolf.

scooby-doo-and-the-reluctant-werewolf-

The next day after Jack and Nurse Price had sex, she leaves for work and twin girls with a dog come upon Jack. The girls’ dog barks at him and they both laugh like crazy and walk off.

What the

What? I know they are trying to reference The Wolf Man (1941) how the dog can sense he is a wolf (Gwen’s fiance Frank, his dog does this). But what was up with the twin girls? Did they think after The Shinning (1980) that the only way to do a creepy film was to have weird twin girls?

Mal_huh

And are they honestly going to included every song that uses the word moon? We’ve already had Blue Moon and Bad Moon Rising, I am now half-expecting Moon River to be played next.

Ugh great gatsby

And we get the cliche #56,  “person pretends in the mirror to be the monster they later turn into”.

Ugh

Ugh

So we switch to the hospital and get a second round of this bratty little boy who says no all the time (he was in the first hospital scene). He’s even more annoying the second time around that I am actually hoping he does get eaten.

Die, die, die!

Die, die, die!

The transformation scene was okay.

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So the next day David wakes up in the zoo naked with the wolves. Now that doesn’t make much sense to me, if you are a wild werewolf, why would you go put yourself in a cage? You’re free! It would make way more sense if he woke up in the park instead.

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

So David tries to get arrested, “to protect others”, and that was kind of funny because the bobby (cop) won’t consider it until he starts insulting the Queen, Winston Churchill, and Shakespeare. But he is so rude to nurse Price. Telling her to shut up and leave him alone:

jerk_alert32

He then tells Nurse Price he loves her, and she’s like woah Ted Moseby, slow down. I Love You? Really after one night? Woah, you don’t even know her. Besides she’s crazy. You don’t want to date crazy.

David then runs off to call his family and tell them he cares about them before he kills himself, but can only reach his 10-year old sister as everyone else is out. All I can think is, 1) David was attacked by a werewolf  or “wolf” as the doctors are calling it and 2) his best friend has been killed! How are his parents not in London right now trying to see if he’s okay? Their son could have been killed!!

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

So David tries to kill himself but can’t go through with it. Now all I can think is, haven’t you seen The Wolf Man (1941), I mean I assume you did as you were telling the nurse about it. Well don’t you remember, a werewolf can only be killed by silver? Slitting your wrists doesn’t work.

ouch Hermione

So stupid

So after that David sees Jack outside a porno film movie house and goes in after him. All I can think is, you’re worried about killing people and you go see a porno? Really?

sort priorities Harry Potter

And don’t give me, that’s where zombie Jack was at and he needed to speak to him. Before that we saw that Jack came to David wherever he went (hospital, Nurse Price’s flat, etc); he could find himself a quiet place and Jack would totally follow him there.

Girl Please

Plus what us up with the film they are watching? A guy and girl are getting it on and a second guy comes marching in the room yelling “You promised you wouldn’t do this again!” The first guy says “No, I didn’t.” The second guy answers, “I’m talking to her.” The women replies, “I don’t know you.” The second guy gets really embarrassed, says “Oh”, and leaves.

SayWhat?

What the heck was the point of that? And immediately after, Jack says “great movie”. I know you are super horny Jack, but no, no, no, no ,no, no, no, no. That is horrible, horrible, horrible.

facepalm Star trek

After this I couldn’t stomach anymore. It wasn’t scary. There was barely an werewolf. It was pretty much a huge mess. I’ll take The Wolf Man (1941) any day.

No no no no no

No no no no no

And here I will leave with more werewolf than we see in the film.

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to You Will Die in Seven Days

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For more on An American Werewolf in London, go to Pink Elephants

For more on werewolves, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts That Lie Within

For more on Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf, go to A Monster Race

For more modern remakes, go to Let Them Fight

For more on monsters, go to What Is This Thing?

For more on Supernatural, go to Happily Ever Aftermath

For more on How I Met Your Mother, go to I’ll Be Back

Language of Love: Love Actually (2003)

Romantic Moment #1

Love Actually

Love Actually (2003)

So Love Actually is the first of those holiday inspired films that include a huge cast of stars who all have their own plotline, but are in actuality all connected to each other. You know films like Valentine’s Day & New Year’s Eve. Well this one takes place at Christmas, and even though this post is celebrating V-day, it is a perfect one to put on the list.

Now this film is even more complex in relationships than He’s Just Not That Into YouThere is Billy Mack, aging rock star trying to get back in the limelight. Peter just married Juliet, but his best friend Mark  is secretly in love with Juliet but has said nothing to honor his friend. Jamie, (who is friends with Peter, Julie, & Mark), had his last girlfriend cheat on him with his brother. He goes to France where he gets a Portuguese housekeeper that he develops feelings for. Harry is the direcctor of a design studio and married to Karen. He gets a new assistant, Mia, and thinks about stepping out on his wife. (Mia is friends with Mark.) Karen’s brother, David, has just begun his time as Prime Minister and develops feelings for Natalie, a girl who works for him. Daniel, friend of Karen, has just lost his wife and is raising his stepson. His stepson develops feelings for a girl and Daniel tries to help him win her heart. Sarah, (friend of Jamie, Peter, Julie, & Mark and employee of Harry) has feelings for Karl but her mentally ill brother, Michael, seems to throw a wrench in her plans. Colin, who hit on Mia, is tired of striking out with English women and journeys to America. John and Judy are body doubles for actors who meet at work.

Still confused?

Still confused?

Anyways so the story line that got on this countdown is Jamie & Aurélia’s. Jamie is a writer and uttery heartbroken when he discovers that his girlfriend was cheating on him with his own brother. He decides to go away to a little cottage in France to work and get away from it all. While there his landlady hires a Portuguese housekeeper, Aurélia, for him. Despite the fact that Aurélia can not speak any English and Jamie knows no Portuguese, the two form a bond and a spark comes to light.

When Jamie goes back to the UK, he starts taking a Portuguese language class so that he might return and share his feelings with Aurélia. On Christmas Eve, he leaves to find her and let her know how he feels.

With the help of Aurélia’s dad, Jamie is able to locate her and proposes to her (in Portuguese). We find out that Aurélia has been learning English in hopes that Jamie would come back.

So romantic

So romantic

Aww! Sooooo cute!