The End by Silverstein

Please keep reading, you won;t be disappointed,

2) The End by Silverstein

So if you remember from my earlier post If It Means A Lot to You, I am doing a countdown of my favorite heartbreak songs to help one get over a break up. Now I did do an earlier post on this song when Michael and I broke up back in December, The End, but I only briefly talked about it. The album A Shipwreck in the Sand is kind of depressing, but still good:

The album details the story of a guy who is cheated on by his girlfriend. To make it even worse, its not just any guy but his best friend. He eventually goes crazy and sets his house on fire, very Secret Window-esque. Even though they broke his trust he still loves his best friend and girlfriend still so he ends up saving them from the fire, but still goes to court for his crimes. He is acquitted but loses his daughter to his girlfriend. He realizes he can’t go on living and ends up taking his life, hence The End.

Like A Day to Remember and Avenged Sevenfold, Silverstein was a band that Michael got me into, one of the several CDs he gave me. (Like I mentioned before a lot of these songs came from him. Is it irony or full circle?)

Like It Meant A Lot To You this song really expressed how I felt about the breakup. So here we go:

The first time we met
Your face became etched
In my mind

So the first time I saw his face, it wasn’t exactly etched in my mind, I mean I didn’t even think he liked me until a couple weeks later. But I also couldn’t stop thinking about him. He intrigued me and I wanted to know more about him.

You were the sun
I was the one
Who worshiped you.
My hands were your guns
Your eyes were my muse.

And I knew you could never love me
I had so much sorrow inside
You could never reach
But can I still keep
A place in your heart?

This was how I felt after he dumped me. I thought it was all my fault, that I was the reason we broke up. Now I know that it wasn’t necessarily what I did, I mean I still have no clue what went wrong between us, but a breakup isn’t one sided, there us far too much that to have it be blamed on only one person (except when cheating is involved.)

And all I kept thinking and hoping (at the time) was maybe he would change his mind, maybe I could hold a place in his heart (I know pathetic 😦 But people act different when they care for others, they don’t do things they normally would. You just aren’t in your right mind)

You broke my heart
You promised me the moon and stars
I fell for your dreams. I fell for your lies
There was no other way
You know I tried

Now this part of the song is sung by the gf but for me all I could think after we broke up was everything that Michael had promised me. Now I know some things were silly, like him planning our trip to Disneyland (I’m not that dense) but I thought that he meant it when we talked about seeing each other in the upcoming months, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, etc. And the worst thing is that I mentioned these things, and he knew he had already decided to break up with me but didn’t have the guts to let me know.

And I knew you could never love me
I had so much sorrow inside
You could never reach
But can I still keep
A place in your heart?

There is something
I want you to know
I think you know exactly what it is
I didn’t want to save you
I didn’t want to save you
I set our house on fire
To watch it burn
But I couldn’t just leave you there

I’m talking figuratively here. Don’t actually be burning things.

And I knew you could never love me
I had so much sorrow inside
You could never reach
But I’ll ask you this

Will you still miss me?
(Yes I’ll miss you)
Do you love me?
(Yes I love you)

Planes fill the sky
We’ll both die tonight
We’ll both die tonight
Hands from the sky
Swat us away like flies
As we follow the light

Planes fill the sky
We’ll both die tonight
We’ll both die tonight
Hands from the sky
Swat us away like flies
As we follow the light

We’ll both die tonight
We’ll both die tonight

Swat us away like flies
(We’ll both die tonight)
As we follow the light
(As we follow the light)

This union, a battle fought and lost
This union was not about the cause
This union was never about love

But you know what, even though it hurt at the time it probably was for the best. If he couldn’t tell me what was going on with him, couldn’t give me any attention,and just wasn’t as invested in our relationship like I was, it was good that we broke up.

Although it did make me sad:

But it can be better to end than to continue something that was not making both parties truly happy. (BTW by using the above pic I do not want anyone out there to think that I’m  still wallowing [that’s over] or anything, it just fit well with what I was saying)

And you’ll meet someone great who will be just right for you.

For more on the Heartbreak Series, go to If It Means a Lot to You

Otherwise here are a few posts you may be interested in

For more on Avenged Sevenfold, go to Belle of the Ball

For more on stories of betrayal by those close to you, check out Wake Up Dad 

For more on what a real man is, go to A Real Man

For more of my favorite songs, go to Once Upon a Time

The Teddy Bear that Would NOT Die!

Now I know I’ve been talking about this forever! I mention all the time how there was a demon bear, the bear that would not leave, etc. I keep promising and promising you guys that I would tell the story, but just haven’t gotten around to it. However, I was reviewing my old posts and decided that it is finally time to do it.

So back in high school there was this one boy, Scott, that liked me. He would do the standard guy thing trying to get my attention, but I pretty much ignored him. I have to admit I was pretty mean back in the day. One day he tried to make a move and sneak attacked me, asking me out.

Not quite this bad

 

I was unnerved and told him maybe, just trying to get out of there. He never asked me again, and I thought that was the end of it.

It wasn’t.

So that was in November/December and the months rolled by…February comes up and then its V-Day.

Now I have had a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day for a long time. I used to always get sick right around it, and then had to wait to eat the candy until much later. And its not just sick, but like a, everything coming out. 

So this year I was pretty happy. I was feeling good, and thought I wouldn’t get sick. It was Thursday the 13th, so you know not on guard for anything, but I should have been. No wonder this bear was a demon.

So its Valentine’s Day and I’m chilling with my friends as I have given them Valentine Cards and were eating candy. Its break between classes when Scott walks in the door with a giant teddy bear that says “I Love You” in a pilllow he’s holding and a red rose.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m like eternally freakin’ here. I have never been schooled in this situation. A RED ROSE?!! I LOVE YOU?!!! You haven’t spoken to me in two months what could have possibly made you think that this was the best move? Are you crazy?

I just stare at it for a bit, some of my friends saying its adorable while the others say I don’t have to accept it if I don’t want it. I end up going to the bathroom and getting sick. The V-day flu stalk me again (although after this year I never experienced it again.)

So I took the bear and stuff and left it at home. I shoved the bear in my closet trying to find a way to get rid of it. It would watch me with those button eyes, eternal smile, and “I Love You” pillow.

Don’t be fooled by its cuteness, evil lurks in that heart.

Tried to donate it but somehow, it kept being forgotten or left behind, continuing to lurk in my room.

So a few months later I was in this anti-gambling play, while being performed in April, was set in February. One of the characters in the play falls for this girl, who only cares a fraction for him, and gets her this huge gift. They needed something, and I was like take it, take this bear I don’t want it.

After the play finished, my friend Eliot was talking about how great it would be to have that bear, joking around that he could save it and use it for next year. Well, he may have been joking, but I wasn’t. I told him he could have, as I REALLY did not want it.

So I was like, yeah that’s the end of it. Sucess! 🙂

Until…bum bum bum! He left it behind! HE LEFT IT BEHIND!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How could he do this to me! How could this bear still be here? Why, why, why?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, once again it was in my life. I put it in the closet this time and it would just rest there with its horrible happy face. I would try to get rid of it but it just wouldn’t go. I was starting to feel as if I was cursed. Maybe this was some sort of punishment. I don’t know. 😦

A few months later, my friend Amelia’s mother was doing a toy drive, and was collecting bears. I was so excited!

 

Yes!

So I would bring the bear out when Amelia would come over, I would try to pawn it off any chance I got, but she would always forget to take it!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

 

So here I was, with the bear once again. I was starting to feel like it was Talking Tina from The Twilight Zone. Would I ever get rid of it? Would it try to kill me? Was I safe?

Again I tried. I tried and tried and tried and tried again to get rid of it, but nothing worked out. Everytime, everytime it would just come back.

Then I was invited to a White Elephant party and I knew it was the best thing. I took it to the party and it was the largest gift there so I know someone would take it. I would sit and watch, waiting and hoping for someone to pick it.

Finally it was picked and gone. And I breathed a sigh of relief. My friend liked it and has kept it to the best of my knowledge.

Sometimes though I have nightmares of it coming back. That one day I’m going to wake up and see it in the corner of my room.

Just like I still get creeped out over this guy

But that’s another story

 For more creepy tales check out Hororfest and Horrorfest II, and keep you eyes peeled for Horrorfest III coming this October.

Also look at Kruegar Town

And Final Destination: Bike Edition

And Bad Penny

 

Do You Know Where Alex Is?

Do You Know Where Alex is?

So this past week I suffered from some phone harassment. Not as bad as “The Stranger” from When a Stranger Calls or Nightmare on Elm Street, but it was pretty bad.

So it all started back in December. I received a text asking me if I knew where Alex was because his girlfriend wanted to talk to him. I texted back that I didn’t know anyone named Alex and had no idea where he was. The texts continued and I would answer her again that I didn’t know him. One time I even called and left a message saying I had no idea who he is. Pretty soon I began to ignore it hoping it would go away.

You never learn

Then the other day I was at a meeting and my phone went off. We hadn’t officially started so I decided to check it, and it was the girl again looking for Alex. I told my friends about it, and they told me it was probably a prank call. If it had been going on that long, and she still wasn’t getting the message, then it had to be someone messing with me. Then each of them told me their wildest stories about how they would prank people. One of my friends, Ben, told me I should text her back something like “he doesn’t care about you anymore” or “he wants to be with me now” or something silly like that. I agreed as I figured what have I got to lose?

We all then joked about how funny it would be to see what she texted me back.

So the girl calls me and GOES CRAZY!!! I actually didn’t even answer the phone. I made Ben do it since it was his idea. He tried to tell her what happened but she was going all kinds of crazy!

He told her the whole story about how I have repeatedly tried to tell her I didn’t know her boyfriend and that it was all a joke. Harmless fun.

Think she saw it that way? Uh uh.

HOW DARE YOU!!!

This was she. Nooo joke.

The crazy girl sends me massive texts! Massive amounts of them. And here they are, oh and I wrote them out just like she sent them, (misspelling mistakes and all so they are 100% authentic).

“Who is this? I wish you all would leave me alone and try getting a job”

“And why hasn’t Alex told meb”

“Have fun paying his child support”

“Why can’t you call and say it got to hide behind a text. Or are you guys lil kids that needs to get high”

Then she called me THREE more times. THREE times!!! This girl is CRAZY!!!

So then I called the number to talk to her, but all I got was her aunt. We discussed it and I told her everything; how I kept getting all these texts, I didn’t know him, I thought it was a joke, etc. She apologized and said she would delete my number.

So do you think that was the end of it? Nope!

Right after, I got even more texts!

“Tell Alex to come out front his truck is here.”

“Just do me a favor and tell alex the stuff in his trunk is gone and he is just like the pettys and he is a coward b****”

Just like the pettys? What does that even mean? Tom Petty? Do you mean petty thief? Do you mean peddy as in pedophile?

“I:m waiting for Alex to call”

You know their relationship seems to consist of her not knowing where he is and waiting for him to call. If he’s avoiding you either 1) You’re Crazy, 2) He’s cheating/a jerk, or 3) All the above. Time to move on.

“Oh and his $4000 in fines. You guys will amt to nothing”

Sounds like you’re getting “petty”. (Sorry I had to do it. It was just set up so well)

“Didn’t realize all you guys are cowards it was only four of us”

I really am not following this conversation at all.

Blah, blah

 

“That’s right to Alex new joe would a f****** rip his a**”

Wha? Huh? What does that even mean?

I just don’t understand stupidity. Oh, well.

“And you all of you over there who he’s hiding behind I hope he ripps  you off like he ripped me off with my great-grandmother’s jewelry, stoley daughtets”

This guy just sounds so bad. Why do you even want him as your boyfriend anymore? I mean I know he is the father of your child (earlier text) but seriously, he sounds like baaaaad news.

Like as big a loser as Satipo from Raiders of the Lost Ark

“Money and the sheriff is on their way to see if any of this stereo s*** in my ar is stolen. If so i’ll point them that way”

But then the creepiest thing happened. She sent me my sister’s name and the area I’m from. It was so creepy it felt like When a Stranger Calls, you know the part when the guy is watching her through the window or when she finds out where the guy is.

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

 

“ex. It’s very simple to trace #’s. But why is he hiding behind you guys ohh tweakers stand behind tweakers. Just know he is a liar and I did nothing but”

This girl is CA-RA-ZY!

“take care of him down to buying him a car he traded for dope and now look what he has”

Man this guy and girl have massive problems.

Then she kept calling me again, and it got to the point where I just snapped.

That’s it! I will end you!

I called them and just started yelling at them, telling them they needed to leave me alone or else I was going to take legal action. My sister worked for the courthouse, I know people on the police force, sheriff, and CHP. I wasn’t going to mess around any longer.

The woman was the aunt (Darn it!) and once again promised to leave me alone. I was hoping that would be the end of it, but that was just not my luck.

The next day at 6:00 in the morning. 6:00 AM! Some guy calls to talk to me about Alex. Now, there is one thing you never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever want to do to me and that is waking me up. There is no thing scarier than waking me up in the morning. I’m like a grizzly bear, I will eat you for breakfast,

If I wake up on my own or by my alarm clock, I’m perfectly fine. So when this guy called I just lost it and started screaming at him to leave me alone, and possibly other things but I can’t really remember our conversation. All I know is I was scary.

Its really funny, because at first I thought it was just part of my dream until I checked my phone log.

So, since then they have left me alone. Yep, just another day in the life.