You’re Kids. I’m a Vampire!: Mom’s Got a Date With a Vampire (2000)

Seven years ago a I did a 30 Day Disney challenge and one of the prompts was your favorite DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie). I didn’t talk too much about this film as I planned to review it in October of that year, but I didn’t, so finally after all these years I’m going to share my thoughts on this film.

I wouldn’t normally have two vampire movies next to each other (tomorrow I will be posting my review of Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part I), but as usual-I’m nearing the end of Horrorfest X and I’ve fallen behind in some of my reviews. So we are just going to end up with a double dose of vampires this weekend. That’s okay, I’m prepared.

And today my review is so late as I shared the film with my niece. The two of us watched it and had some tea (today’s 31 Days of Hallotean prompt)

I remember being so excited when this film came out as I had been eagerly awaiting it. And when my brother shared his Disney+ password with me, the very first things I watched were The Phantom of the Megaplex and Mom’s Got a Date With a Vampire.

This film had so many people in it too, which also made it exciting! It had Mr. Sheffield from the Nanny, Lizzie McGuire’s dad, and Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s aunt. Rewatching it as an adult I realized it also has the actor who was Gary Giggles in Spy Kids 2.

Adam Hansen (Matt O’Leary [Gary Giggles]), is big into monsters and loves to watch horror films and the like. Instead of doing his homework like he was supposed to, he watched vampire films. The next day he has no paper and instead presents his history paper on Malachi Van Helsing, Vampire Hunter. Mom, Lynette Hansen (Carolyn Rhea [Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s aunt]) isn happy and grounds him.

From Nightmare on Elm Street

His sister, Chelsea, heard about his “report” and belief in the supernatural and calls him a dweeb. Her mom hears this and Chelsea is also grounded and now she has to break a date with her boyfriend Peter to the Harvest festival. She’s not happy, but mom won’t budge.

The next day at school, Adam’s friend-who I just realized is the same actor who played the jerk Craig Manning on Degrassi: The Next Generation. Ooh his character makes me so mad for how he treated Ashley and Manny. Anyways I digress, his best friend, Duffy, has tickets to see Adam’s favorite band at the Harvest festival this weekend. There is no way he can talk his mom into letting him go, but maybe if he can distract her with something else?

So Chelsea and Adam try to plot a way to distract their mom in order to have fun this weekend and decide maybe they will be able to if they can get her to go out on a date.

But where to find a date? Adam decides to check the personals in the tabloid magazine he subscribes to (the one he found the Van Helsing article in). They find a weirdo, but settle on matching up the mom with an ad that sounds pretty good.

Continental gentleman, handsome, debonair, suave. Enjoys long strolls beneath the full moon. Loves adventure, travel, wild animals, and women who long for romantic nights that will never end. Hates Italian food and turtlenecks. Wolfsbane@netherlink.pro.

As a kid I remember thinking, hates Italian food so weird (I’m part Italian so of course I eat a lot of it). As an adult all I can think is this is a movie so of course he’s debonair and suave but in real life he would probably be nothing like his ad describes him.

They arrange to meet him at the grocery store and plan to trick mom into talking to him. They see a few single men-one dressed in a trench and fedora looking like Harry Dresden from The Dresden Files, but before they can continue with their plotting mom bumps into Dr. Dimitri Dentatos (Mr. Sheffield from The Nanny [Charles Shaughnessy]). As a kid I was like, oh it’s Mr. Sheffield from The Nanny of course the mom thinks he’s handsome. As an adult I’m like wow, mom found a man who is suave, debonair, nice, and looks like Charles Shaughnessy; no wonder she’s like yes I’ll go out with you tomorrow even though I don’t you.

Also I completely forgot that he was a doctor in this, so now this meme has popped into my head.

But this man is not the perfect dreamboat that Lynette thinks he is. He is actually a vampire, as the youngest Hansen, Taylor, watched him transform into a bat. Of course, no one believes him.

It turns out that Adam’s friend gave his ticket away. Since he can’t afford he trades a date with his sister to his friend’s older brother. Yeah, Adam is quite the jerk.

Saturday night comes and Dimitri arrives unable to come in unless invited in. He and the mom leave for dinner while Adam and Chelsea plan to call a babysitter and leave Taylor at home.

Taylor, however, decides that he will go save him mom. First he tries to get Adam to help him, but no dice. Then he calls up Van Helsing from the number left in the article and leaves a message. As a last ditch effort, he bikes after his mom to warn her. Adam and Chelsea follow him as if mom finds out they are not staying home grounded-the date will be over and they will be in even more trouble.

Meanwhile, Van Helsing is hunting the vampire and uses this cool coal trick or something to track him.

Wow!

Taylor will not leave as he is not convinced at all that Dimitri is not a vampire. The only way to convince him to go is to prove it. Of course no one takes Taylor seriously and they come up with a “spoon test”, which Dimitri passes. Taylor now satisfied agrees to go home, but as they leave the restaurant Adam notices that Dinitri doesn’t have a reflection. Uh oh, it turn out Taylor was right. He is a vampire!

That’s not good.

Adam convinces Chelsea to break her date and help him save their mom, they follow the two. Dimitri and Lynette are not having a ton of fun together as they have nothing in common, although Dimitri clearly wants to take her somewhere alone…and drink her blood!

Lynette takes Dimitri to a rockabilly club and Adam tries to keep her safe by tricking a guy into asking her to dance-but unfortunately Dimitri uses his vampire powers to make him leave instead. Adam then points Lynette out to the band and she goes up on stage and sings. While she’s preoccupied, Adam tells the security guard that Dimitri is a stalker and the bouncer gets rid of him. But not for long-he’s a vampire.

From Dracula

Back at the Hansen house, Van Helsing has checked his messages and he been trying to get a hold of Taylor but can’t get through as the baby-sitter has it tangled up. Van Helsing heads off to look where he thinks that a Vampire would be hiding out at, while Taylor follows and stows away in his car.

Chelsea who has been waiting outside the Rockabilly club sees him climb the wall: cool, creepy and the effects are still good.

So when Dimitri was thrown out of the club he broke Adam and Chelsea’s bikes having a little tantrum. They call Duffy, Boomer, and Duffy’s brother. Boomer reveals the “deal” and Chelsea is furious at him. She is 100% in the right. Although they make up rather quickly and resume the search for their mother.

Lynette has had a wonderful night out with Dimitri and thanks him for helping her to have fun again, but then she rejects him as they have little in common and she’s just not attracted to him. This makes Dimitri confused and angry so he puts Lynette in a trance to make her come home with him. The kids see this and try to stop him. Dimitri does a really creepy Vampire speed run and threatens Adam.

Dimitri tries to take Lynette to his lair, but Adam’s friends have sabotaged his car. Adam and Chelsea call a cab and head off to the Mather House.

At Dimitri’s lair, the kids look for a way to defeat him. Adam gets the idea to steal his coffin which is a really smart one, and put it in the lake. Vampires cannot cross bodies of water unless they are in their coffin, they must rest in dirt from their native soil (in their coffin), and during the day reside in their coffin. It’s a triple whammy and opens Dimitri up to negotiations. I really liked that they kept with this vampire lore, especially as Adam is supposed to be a monster expert.

Adam tries to trade foe his mom, but Dimitri grabs his sister. Adam has no choice but to give the coffin back as otherwise Dimitri will kill at least one of his family members. While they are in their standoff Van Helsing and Taylor arrive which distracts Dimitri.

Adam, Chelsea, and Taylor plead with their mom which awakens her from her trance (love is stronger) and they defeat him.

After their adventures, they invite Van Helsing over for breakfast and all ends well.

This film was super cute and adorable when it first came out and is still a really fun watch. I love it and recommend it!

For more vampire films, go to Edward and Jacob Fight Over Who Should Be With Bella, And We Get Jasper’s Back Story: The Twilight Saga, Eclipse (2010)

For more Disney Channel Original Movies, go to A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)