A Murder Has Been Committed on Your Property: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode One (2013)

So I am so excited about Death Comes to Pemberley.

It’s not because I liked the book and wanted to see how it converted to screen, but because this means I will finally have something Jane Austen to review for Horrorfest!

The only thing I’ve been able to do that was Jane Austen in the month of October was a post where I dressed the Austen men up in costumes, but nothing like this! I can finally review something real! Oh, yay!

This is great

So the book, I didn’t really care for, and you can check out my post on that if you wish, but for now: let’s look at the TV show.

So this is the first time I have reviewed a miniseries for my blog and I thought about it and figured the best thing would be to review it episode by episode, rather than all at once like the Emma (1996) film review.

So I will just review episode one, and will continue to review the episodes every month or every two months. I haven’t decided yet.

Well that’s enough chit chat, am I right?

So we begin with very serene landscape. Is this supposed to be contrast for what is to come or just the cinematographer showing off?

Two maids are out in the forest, although they are not supposed to be. One is scared while the other, Joan is braver. What looms in the forest?

Stay out of the forest!

Both take off screaming. What have they seen?

Were they afraid of the remains of his crazy grandfather?

So we move back to Pemberley

There all are getting ready for the Queen Anne’s ball. Elizabeth is doing well with her preparations but is interrupted when the girls return and shout about seeing Mrs. Reilly’s ghost. Who is Mrs. Reilly? I thought it was Mr. Darcy’s ghost that haunted the woods.

I’m not sure I like this actress as Elizabeth Bennet-Darcy, she just doesn’t seem right, but of course there is still time to change my mind. I’ll reserve judgement until the end of the episode.

Something about you just doesn’t seem right.

Darcy seems so crazy, with his introduction of him yelling at everyone, I don’t like that. He’s not one to loose his temper easily, especially as this is something he does every year.

He and Elizabeth seem to be having issues, the way they interact, but then he writes her a love note. I don’t know, that scene seemed off for some reason.

Darcy needs to get out of the house so he takes his son hunting with him. In the book I thought they had two sons. Oh well, neither one played a large role in the novel so I guess it doesn’t really matter of they only have one.

When Mr. Darcy is about to get his horse ready, he and the butler have a few words. The butler’s son Will Bidwell, is incredibly ill. His father is heartbroken that he can’t do anything and that his son won’t take up his legacy.

Back inside, Elizabeth’s duties are done so she and Georgiana are having a private chat. Georgina has a secret smile which means only one thing.

So this is love…hmm…So this is love…so this is what makes life divine…

She’s in love. But with who?

Hmm…

Colonel Fitzwilliam arrives early as he has something on his mind. He wants to marry Georgina as he cares for her, has just inherited the family fortune (as his brother, the eldest died), and will be returning to war soon. Elizabeth isn’t sure how Georgiana feels about him, but has no objections as long as she cares for him.

Col. Fitzwilliam says he will have to ask Darcy first, and Elizabeth gets all mad saying it is Georgiana’s decision.

Uh, seriously Elizabeth? You know how the world works. One has to ask the father, of if absent the guardian, and present his interest to them. It’s not like you just ran off to elope unless you wanted to disgrace your family like Lydia Bennet or Julia Bertram from Mansfield Park.

So one thing I notice about this show is that it does  A LOT of shots of the beautiful scenary and landscapes. Now this isn’t something I would normally mind, but this is a mystery. You know it needs suspense, a different type of mood.

Instead it is very light and pretty.

We then see Elizabeth visiting the Bidwells to deliver books to the sickly Will. Will’s sister has just returned from visiting their oldest sister and brought back her baby to visit, George.

They try to lift Will’s spirits, but his death is approaching and there is little that can be done, other than to try and make his last days happy.

So all these pretty landscape shots are actually starting to get on my nerves. This is a MYSTERY!!  DEATH IS IN THE NAME.

It should be a certain way!

Elizabeth suddenly comes across a well-dressed women in purple just standing in the forest. That was a bit creepy. She chases after her, but all that remains is her hat.

Then the music starts taking a creepier twinge and we hear rustling.

Now you are getting it!

And the woman suddenly appears behind!

And hisses?

I don’t remember that in the book.  I’m pretty sure I would have remembered a hissing woman.

Anyways, it does not bode well for the ball, no it does not at all.

Mr. Henry Alveston arrives, a lawyer, and Georgina is ecstatic to see him.

So this is what she was smiling about.

Then Mr. and Mrs. Bennet arrive.

Back at the local Inn, Denny and Wickham have been talking. Denny and him are fighting over something Wickham wants him to do, a note he would like delivered. Lydia joins them and they stop their arguments, continuing to the carriage.

Mr. Bennet sneaks off to the library for relief from the crowds.

 They are all in the parlor where Georgiana is looking at the a book which has pictures of Col. Fitzwilliam’s castle. What started as a friendly discussion turns into a measuring contest between Fitzwilliam and  Alveston, as to who is the better man.

Men

Colonel leaves suddenly for an evening ride. Strange….

Why is he leaving?

Night comes and Denny yells for the carriage to stop, getting out. Wickham chases after him, leaving Lydia all alone in the carriage.

Mrs. Bennet finds a portrait of Wickham, and Elizabeth tries to get rid of it as it upsets both Darcys, but Mrs. Bennet can’t take the hint.

as always

Luckily music always can change the subject.

To stop Mrs. Bennet from going on, Darcy goes to ask Lizzy for a dance. While the two are dancing, Elizabeth lets Darcy know what is going on with Georgiana and how there are two men interested in her. Before they can finish their conversation they are interrupted as a carriage comes barreling through.

It turns out to be Lydia who is in hysterics. She is so out of it that she has to be slapped to speak. When she finally can talk she tells them Wickham was shot.

She heard the shot and came rushing back. She relates all that happened between Wickham and Denny being angry, them going off into the woods, etc. Just as they are preparing to go out. Col. Fitzwilliam rides up to the house.

Just at the exact time?

 Lydia stops her freaking out to ask for her trunk as she doesn’t want her dress ruined.

Classic Lydia

Darcy just ignores it; calls for the doctor, and gets an expedition ready to head out. As they start, Darcy notices that Col. Fitzwilliam has a gun with him. Just in case he says.

Now we go finally have some spooky shoots.

FINALLY

 So the men split up as they start searching for Wickham.

Back at Pemberley, the doctor gives both Mrs. Bennet and Lydia a sedative as they are in hysterics. Elizabeth is hoping for the best, and that she can give them a hot meal and send them on their way, not planning for the Wickhams or Denny to stay long. Oh how our plans never quite go as imagined, eh.

They find Wickham with Dennys, him shouting that it is all his fault. His only friend in the world and he killed him. Fitzwilliam finds a pistol, and it has been recently fired.

Looks like Wickham is the killer.

It rains as they move everything back to the carriage to bring to Pemberley.

When they return to Pemberley, Wickham starts yelling that there is a killer out there somewhere, they need to go back and look in the woods.

Do the woods hold a killer or a ghost?

Georgina has to face Wickham after years of hoping never to see his face and does quite well. But of course she is in love with Alveston, so it doesn’t affect her as much.

While Wickham is okay, Darcy has to call in Sir Selwyn Hardcastle the nearest magistrate, and must go get him immediately so as not to look like he is covering anything up. Darcy himself rides out to Hardcastle to inform him of the death.

Harcastle comes in and he doesn’t mess around. He looks at Wickham and is angry the housekeeper for cleaning his face, and tampering with evidence. They then go look at Dennys.

Dennys was bludgeoned to death, first smacked in the front of his head and then pounded in back. The news of this comes as quite a surprise.

What?

But if he was bludgeoned in the head, why did everyone hear gunshots? What were they for?

Something just doesn’t seem right.

Elizabeth is wandering about Pemberley as she just can’t sleep. She then comes upon Col. Fitzwillliam burning a letter, Suspicious.

Hardcastle stays on to interview Wickham as soon as he wakes. Elizabeth is told of the murder and she an Darcy just hold onto each other as they try to ponder this evil that has come to their home.

The next day Darcy tells Elizabeth the story of the “ghost” in the woods. A young boy Reilly was found poaching and instead of just getting a slap on the wrist they hanged him. His mother was extremely upset and and hanged herself in Pemberley woods. And now superstition is that her ghost appears whenever misfortune is about to strike.

Elizabeth thinks maybe the woman that hissed at her is the “ghost” the maids saw in the beginning. But that woman was a real women, and who is she?

They are called back to the house were Lydia is raving and ranting. Darcy’s son is upset and his father goes to comfort him, which gives us another touching scene of Darcy as a family man.

Hardcastle goes to talk to Wickham. Wickham says that he found Dennys dead and saw someone fleeing through the forest. He fired the gun at the guy, and then fired in the air again for help. When they ask about why Dennys was so upset, he left the carriage, Wickham tells him it is because he didn’t approve of Wickham crashing the party.

That just screams of a lie. Why would that make Dennys so infuriated that he couldn’t stand being around Wickham for another second. No, there is another reason…

But Wickham continues to proclaim his innocence.

“George Wickham: There is a murderer out there somewhere and you…you are wasting your time.”

Colonel Fitzwilliam, Darcy, and Alveston are sitting waiting to see what will happen next when Alveston gives them some lawyerly advice. The best thing right now would be to think of sharing Wickham’s character. Do you think he could have killed him?

Darcy doesn’t think so as he knows Wickham would do a lot of shifty and immoral things, but murdering his friend is not one of them. Alveston brings up that maybe he was changed by the war, but Col. Fitzwilliam quickly nixes that idea.

But the next question Alveston brings up is very interesting. When Denny got out of the carriage why did he go into the woods? Why didn’t he follow the road back?

Why, indeed?

So Hardcastle has searched the carriage and found £30 in Wickham’s hat. Hardscastle sees him as the most likely man; money, a confession heard by three men to the death being his fault, only one in the woods, etc.  He going to stop looking and have Wickham arrested.

Not good

Elizabeth decides to scrounge in the fireplace searching for remnants of the note Fitzwilliam burned.

She finds a piece that says “thank you for your support” and “meet me”. What does it mean?

They take Wickham away, with Lydia in hysterics and Wickham cooly taking it.

So while this is a review of an episode for Horrorfest V, this is also a review for a Jane Austen item, so we are going to go a little more in depth.

Set Design

So the set design was really nice. They used the same Pemberley that they had in the 2005 film version. I liked the sets, the lighting, etc. The only thing that bothered me was how much time they spent on showing the beautiful and tranquil landscapes. It felt like they were padding the episode and just didn’t seem to work with a mystery. I mean Midsomer Murders shows the beautiful landscapes, but always lets you know their is something dark simmering, as murder shortly occurs. I think they should have done more of that, rather than having the beginning just a pretty Jane Austen film. I guess they were trying to pull a David Lynch and try and show beauty, then the evil; but it just didn’t feel as good as his work either.

Costumes

So I thought the costumes looked great. We’ve mostly been in everyday wear as all are preparing for the ball, traveling, or going out hunting. I especially like how Georgiana always looks pure, sweet, and ethereal in her pastel and light gowns. Lydia on the other hand, just looked perfect in her deep maroon traveling gown. The men also look dashing and I have to say good choices were made for all, so far, in this production.

So let’s talk about characters, and I’m only going over the ones I felt we spent a lot of time with. How did everyone do?

Colonel Fitzwilliam

Colonel Fitzwilliam is played by Tom Ward (who funnily had a bit part in P&P (1995) miniseries) and I hate his portrayal. Granted it probably isn’t him as I’m sure he is only doing what the script and director say. But he is just so cold, cruel, rude, and unlikable. It is totally weird from how he was in the book, which this is supposed to be a “sequel” or continuation of. In the book, Col. Fitzwilliam was the opposite of Darcy; fun, full of laughter, able to converse with anyone, liked to dance, etc. As a second son, he never grew up with the same responsibilities as Darcy did, so his character is lighter rather than burdened down with all he must take care of. Also as the second son, he has never had to deal with the throngs of daughters and mothers trying to ensnare him, and allowed him to be more open. Yes, I know this takes place years later and he has been through war; but his whole demeanor and the way he talked to everyone, even Georgiana, was so foreign from the original character. And I know they are trying to set him up as “the possible suspect”, but it would have been better if he wasn’t so harsh and rough all the times. I didn’t like him at all.

Elizabeth Bennet

Elizabeth is played by Anna Maxwell Martin, but I didn’t like her performance. She always looks tired and out of it. I don’t know if she was trying to play overworked or stressed, but she just comes off really bland and boring. I didn’t like her at all.  Plus she keeps getting mad at the idea of Georgiana and Col. Fitzwilliam getting married. Why? Its not like he is a bad guy, I mean you even thought about the idea of him, until he said it wasn’t possible for a second son to marry whomever.

The sad thing is that Elizabeth is such a cornerstone character that she has to be spot on, or else everything is going to fall flat.

Mr. Darcy

What?

At first I didn’t really like this Darcy. He wasn’t physically what I was imagining, but hey its hard when this was what came before.

You expect every Darcy to be as good looking. I also didn’t like his outburst in the beginning, and thought this guy isn’t Darcy. But as time went on, I began to enjoy Matthew Rhys’ portrayl of the character and thought that he captured who the Austen charater is better than any of the other actors in this production. He was kind, jovial, stern, serious, commanding; the perfect combination of married, fatherly, but still in charge of others Darcy. Good job Rhys.

So what did I think? I liked it a lot better than the book. The book was a bit dull in places and at times felt it would bring something up and then never come back to it. With its transference to film, things can be shown instead of just talked about; they tie the ghost into the mystery deeper with the maids in the beginning, and I think they are trying to make the ending more mysterious and less a straight telling account of what occurred. Yes I didn’t like how some of the characters were, but BBC you have intrigued me and actually made me want to see what happens next.

To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to I’ll Be Watching You: Cat’s Eye (1987)

To read the review of the book this is based on, go to Death Comes to Pemberley

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Meet Cute: Darcy & Elizabeth Style

For more Pride & Prejudice adaptations, go to Baby Jane Austen

For more Jane Austen films, go to Emma (1996) AKA the Kate Beckinsale Version

For more Jane Austen adaptations, go to Captain Wentworth’s Diary

For more TV series based on books, go to A Haunting We Will Go: The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977)

Death Comes to Pemberley

Death Comes to Pemberley by P.D. James

*Contains Spoilers*

While I am a huge mystery fan, I had never really read anything by P.D. James. I had heard of this book when it came out,  but I wasn’t sure if it would be a good read.

I felt whatever about it.

However, as I have heard people raving about it and the TV series; and I found it at the library book sale for 25¢, I decided to buy it and read it.

I didn’t really care for the book

Why you may ask, well let’s just read and you will see.

So the book begins with a quick summary of Pride and Prejudice, most likely for those who have not read the books. Although I’m not quite sure why they would be reading this if they haven’t read Pride & Prejudice to begin with.

Since the end of the novel Mary has married a vicar and is now Mrs. Theodore Hopkins; while Kitty remains unmarried.

Years have passed since Austen’s novel ended and now Elizabeth is the mother of two adorable boys and has found her place as lady of the manor.

It is the day before the Lady Anne’s ball and Elizabeth has been busy preparing the plans and making sure that everything is being done right.

Meanwhile Colonel Fitzwilliam has gone through many changes since  P&P. His older brother died, leaving him the heir and gaining the title of Viscount Hartlep. He is looking to marry and looking at Georgiana as his future bride. Only one problem, she wants to marry lawyer Henry Alveston.

I actually never liked Henry. I thought he would have made a great villain as he seemed off to me…

Suspicious

But I guess James didn’t want to do that.

Fine, do it your way

The Bingleys have left Netherfield as they don’t care to be that close to Mrs. Bennet. Instead they moved to Highmarten which is much closer to the Darcys. They have just arrived for the ball as well.

Everything seems to be going as planned, but a storm is brewing outside. This brings unease that cannot be explained to the guests and hosts.

I’m scared!

We then pause from the house to the view of the butler, Bidwell Thomas. He gives us reader a background of the woods surrounding the house and cottage where he resides. The cottage Bidwell resides in was built by Mr. Darcy’s grandfather who lived there with his dog. When his dog became too old and sick, he shot him and himself.

That was a weird, dark twisted branch in the Darcy tree.

Why would James include something like that? What is it’s purpose? We see Darcy has some mental illness in his background, I guess.

I don’t think this really added to the story.

Darcy’s father restored the cottage and gave it to the butler’s family. Besides the death of that Darcy, the wood is claimed to be haunted when a poacher was hanged, even though Mr. Darcy tried to give him leniency, and the mother of the accused cursed the entire Darcy line and then hanged herself. Now there is a superstition of a ghost living in the woods.

What I don’t understand is why go through all that trouble of giving this big complicated and supernatural history but then have no follow through. I thought maybe there would be something about a ghost or someone using it in the murder; but there was nothing. So why waste our times James? Why?

IT MAKES NO SENSE

So the butler lives there with his wife, sick son Will, and daughter Louisa. Louisa recently traveled to help her older sister Sarah with their newewst baby, and brought him back so that Will could see it. The newest baby’s name is Georgie. Hmm…what character in this story shares that same name? *Hint, hint* *Wink, wink*

While everyone is relaxing after dinner, Colonel Fitzwilliam takes off for his evening ride. Half an hour later the party is breaking up with everyone going to bed when Darcy sees a coach coming up crazily. He goes outside to find out what is happening, when Lydia comes running out. She scream that Wickham is dead and that Denny killed him.

Now in the previews for Death Comes to Pemberley miniseries, they implied that Darcy was thought to possibly have murdered Wickham. But then when you read the book, Darcy is never implicated as he wasn’t in any situation and Wickham isn’t even dead. False advertising!

Lydia is taken with the women while Darcy interrogates the coachman. Coachman Pratt tells him that he was to drop Lydia at the house, the men off at King’s Arms in Lambton, and then return the coach. When halfway through the woodland Captain Denny stopped the coach, jumped out and shouted that he was done with Wickham. Mr. Wickham ran after him to come back, Lydia yelling at both of them to return. Then the coachman and Lydia heard shots. Lydia started screaming murder and ordered the coach to go straight to Pemberley.

They start making arrangements and arming the search party. As they head out they meet a returning Colonel Fitzwilliam.

Suspicious

As they head up, Colonel takes control of the situation and splits the group up.

Darcy looks around and starts talking about him and nature being one. Really? I can’t see Darcy waxing so romantically and poetically in a situation like this.

Really?

We also get the tidbit that his grandfather (who sounds crazy to me and makes me think those Darcy’s shouldn’t have been so proud) asked to be buried with his dog in the woods; but the family refused. His spirit supposedly is roaming the woods.

So once again we get a hint at the supernatural or something, with no follow through. Why even bother to set something like that up?

Stop it now if it isn’t going to be anything more.

They reach the cottage and the colonel is the only one to enter it. Odd. Why wouldn’t he allow others to go inside, what is he trying to hide or keep from the others?

Suspicious

As they continue in the woods they discover the body of Denny. He is lying on his back, face caked in blood. Wickham is kneeling over him; bloody and screaming that Denny is dead and it was his fault, he killed him.

I guess that’s all

They carry the two back to Pemberly.

Darcy travels to Sir Selwyn Hardcastle who reviews cases such as this and makes the final judgement. He and Darcy don’t see eye to eye, but everything must be done by the book. As Wickham is his brother-in-law, Darcy can’t oversee the investigation.

The next day finds Lydia furious, not at her husband, but at Elizabeth, If only the Darcys had received them then they would have arrived the next day, not with Lydia trying to coax her way in.

Georgina and Elizabeth have a heart to heart as Elizabeth is worried about Georgina with the close proximity to Wickham. Georgina reveals that she is fine, and that she has told Henry about her past.

See here is where I thought that the book would have been more interesting if it turned out Henry was the murderer as he lied about his past to try and get to Georgina’s inheritance. With him attacking Wickham as he knows too much and accidentally killing Denny.  Or Colonel Fitzwilliam being the murderer. But no, James decided to not go down that path.

Fine, do it your way

There is an inquest and Wickham is to go on trial, although there is quite a few holes in the case.

Hmm…

Meanwhile the Darcy’s visit sick Will and bring the family things to help them. They try and convince them  to move to the manor where they can recieve better care; but the family refuses.

The Darcys and Bingleys have been aiding the Wickhams; providing Wickham with items he requests to help his time in jail and the Bingleys opening their home to Lydia. Darcy is very unhappy about he situation and also with the fact that he will have to support the two until Wickham can find a job, having been fired by Sir Walter Elliot (characters from Jane Austen’s Persuasion).

The day of the inquest arrives. All the Darcys and Bingleys have been cleared as they all alibi each other. A stone was found that is believed to be the murder weapon, but no incriminating marks were found on it so there is no definite proof. After all statements are given, the coachman’s being the weightiest, they decide to hold Wickham and put him on trial.

Christmas is approaching, and Darcy declares that the trial is not to be talked of, instead having everyone focus on the upcoming holiday.

They give food to the poorer parishioners, have a few dinner parties; and Wickham is transferred to London. Meanwhile the Butler’s Georgie gets sent home to his mother and Louisa and Will are happier; but the trial looms closer and closer.

Now as they keep mentioning the Butler’s family, you just know they are connected somehow to this murder. Otherwise why would James focus on them when the house is full of potential suspects? And of course Wickham well set up as the killer.

Should’ve done better James

The day of the trial arrives. At the trial Darcy spots a familiar face, Mrs. Younge, Wickham’s partner in crime and Georgian’s old companion. The same Mrs. Younge that aided in the elopement.

Everyone shares their testimony, including Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam. Things look pretty grim.

But then it is time for Wickham to give his testimony and be questioned. As we know, Wickham is charming and manipulative. He says that he said he killed him, as he feels it is his fault Denny is dead, as his life was his responsibility since he was traveling with Wickham. He says that he drank too much and was chasing the real murderer when he passed put. He points out that the weapon is missing, and there is no motive for Wickham to kill him; therefore he could not have done it.

The jury leave to discuss.

When the trial reconvenes they declare Wickham as guilty. Wickham scream that he didn’t do it, but it’s too late for him. Mrs. Younge runs out of the courtroom after the verdict, with Darcy following to speak to her, but she gets run over by a coach and dies. Did she kill herself? Or was it an accident?

But then to everyone’s shock a confession is asked to be added to evidence. It was brought by the country doctor and is the confession of the sickly Will, the Darcys’ butler’s son.

I knew it!

Will killed Denny. You see Louisa had been with her sister taking care of her children, when she was assaulted by Wickham. She became pregnant and Georgie was hers, named after Wickham. When it was revealed that Wickham could not marry Louisa, as he was already married, she came home with the baby; pretending it was her nephew. When Will saw the officer in the woods, he thought he was Wickham and killed him to protect his family. Unfortunately he killed the wrong person and could not allow him to go to prison for something he did not do.

Wickham is discharged as witnesses prove that Will did write the confession and that he meant it.

The reason why Colonel Fitzwilliam left to go on his ride was that he was approached by Mrs. Younge to try and help her adopt the boy as she loved Wickham and wanted a piece of him near.

Well that was a red herring.

Mr. Wickham gets approached by a minister he met while in prison who offers him  job on a horse farm in the United States. He and Lydia travel there. Louisa marries her old beau and everything turns out well.

I guess that’s all

Well I thought it was kind of boring.

It was nowhere as great as the critics claimed it to be, and I’m sorry for those who love P.D. James and thinks she is fantastic but I just found it to be an all-around dud.

There was no mystery, no challenge, no nothing! I hated it! And why did she keep bringing up the supernatural when it had nothing to do with it in the end!

It was awful!

If you really like the idea of a Darcy and Elizabeth mystery, you should check out Pride & Prescience (Or a Truth Universally Acknowledged).

Now will the miniseries be as horrible? We shall see.

For more Jane Austen mysteries, you should check out Pride & Prescience (Or a Truth Universally Acknowledged)

For more books based on Jane Austen’s work, go to The Confession of Fitzwilliam Darcy

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Can’t Lose: Superbowl 50

For more Pride & Prejudice variations, go to Happy Birthday Pride & Prejudice

On the 11th Day ‘Til Christmas: The Santa Clause (1994)

On the 11th day ’til Christmas my blogger gave to me

The Santa Clause (1994)

I first saw the film when I was about five or six and absolutely loved it. It is such an amazing film, and answers almost all the questions one has ever asked about how Santa makes his night flight possible. Tim Allen was amazing, as he is in everything, and Eric Lloyd was simply adorable as Charlie.

Who could say no to that adorable face?

The script was just amazing as the lines are sooo goood! I recommend it for any family to watch, I know I watch it every year.

The film is about self-centered, divorced, father, Tim Allen as Scott Calvin; being tricked into becoming Santa Clause. The film starts out with him being late to getting his son, as he has chosen to hang out at his Toy Maker Company’s Christmas party. He has a fight with his ex-wife and her husband Neil, a psychiatrist, because they have told Charlie that Santa isn’t real. I really hate Neil, he is such an awful guy.

Ugh

He is so controlling of Charlie, and is always trying to make these huge decisions about him when he is not even his father. He needs to back off and respect that Scott is the father and the one to make crucial decisions.

Scott has not prepared anything for their Christmas Eve dinner. He wants to start the meal but realizes that to cook his frozen turkey, it’s going to take a long time. He then decides to put it in the oven on the highest temperature possible, burning up everything. This causes them to go to Denny’s because it is the only place open. Just like in A Christmas Story, the evening out proves to be hilarious.

After the two return home, Scott reads Charlie the book Twas the Night Before Christmas. Shortly after the two fall asleep they find themselves being visited by Santa. Although the visit doesn’t turn out as expected. Scott reluctantly ends up becoming Santa himself.

“Sarah the Little Girl: Santa?
Scott Calvin: Scott Calvin.
Sarah the Little Girl: How come your clothes are so baggy?
Scott Calvin: Because Santa is… watching his saturated fats. [gestures obesity]
Sarah the Little Girl: How come you don’t have a beard?
Scott Calvin: Because I shaved!  [instantly reveals an unwrapped present for her, out of his bag] Now, you want this doll or not? Go back to sleep.”

The deliver everything and the reindeers take them to the North Pole where everything is explained by Bernard, the head elf.

What a cutie!

The next day Scott wakes up back at home in his bed; convinced everything was just a dream.

Now I really love the irony in this film. Here we have a self-absorbed, toy-inventor who was given the job of being the most unselfish toymaker. Of course Scott doesn’t believe he is Santa, but even though he chooses to live in denial, his body has already transforming. No matter what he does; he gains a belly like a bowlful of jelly, long white whiskers (a beard), and can’t stop wearing red.

And through this all Charlie is just as adorable as ever, telling everyone that his dad is Santa.

“Neil: What about Santa’s reindeer? Have you even seen a reindeer fly?
Charlie: Yes.
Neil: Well, I haven’t.
Charlie: Have you ever seen a million dollars?
Neil: No.
Charlie: Just because you can’t see something, doesn’t mean is doesn’t exist.”

Here is where the story gets sad. Stupid Neil tries to take over everything and convinces the mom to get rid of Scott’s visiting rights as he feels Scott’s appearance will be damaging to Charlie. But Scott manages to manipulate the mom into letting him see Charlie at Thanksgiving. Charlie is finally able to convince Scott that he really is Santa. Just as Scott has finally accepted who he is, Bernard shows up and whisks them all away to the North Pole. However, they forgot to let the mom know about Charlie and she spends the next month worried about him.

Scott really gets into being Santa; and he works with the other elves and Charlie to complete all that needs to be done. They also do some major improvements with the sled and suit. Before you know it, it’s Christmas and they are heading out to deliver presents.

Little do they know that the police are waiting for them. Not only do they have a ton of cops at Charlie’s house, but they are picking up every Santa in that radius and hauling them off to jail.

When Scott does go to the house to drop off the presents, he ends up being arrested and taken in. This scene always reminded me of  Santa Clause is Coming to Town, as he gets caught in a similar way.

My favorite part is when they interrogate him. It’s hilarious.

When the Elves back at Mission Control realize something is wrong, they send out the Elven SWAT Team, E.L.F.S, to break him out.

I always say that line when I see tinsel, “tinsel, not just for decorating.”

So Santa gets out and clears everything up with his ex-wife. Everything ends happily as he goes out to deliver the presents and his ex-wife allows him to see Charlie anytime he wants.

It’s just a great, family film. Beloved by everyone.

Unfortunately, the sequels were not as good. They lacked the same quality of writing and hilarity. Don’t waste your time with them, but watch this one over and over! 😀

Merry Christmas!

To start the 12 Posts of Christmas from the beginning, go to On the 12th Day ’til Christmas: The 12 Men of Christmas

For more on The Santa Clause, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines List

For more on Santa Clause, go to the 25 Films of Christmas

For more on Disney, go to CANDY-TIME