There’s No One Like Gaston

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Day 13) You Favorite Villain Song

Gaston

Now I know there are many more scary and mean villian songs, but this one is my favorite. I love Gaston, but let me clarify, I love Gaston like how I love Draco Malfoy. They have some the best lines, they are so egotestical that they are hilarious, and you just know the story would be a snooze-fest without them. Gaston’s song is so awesome because it is so silly, egotestical, manly, and a total laugh riot.

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I mean this is like the ultimate pep talk. Next time you have a friend who isn’t doing well, just change the words around and add their name in. They’ll thank you for it. 🙂

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here’d love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There’s no man in town as admired as you
You’re ev’ryone’s favorite guy
Ev’ryone’s awed and inspired by you
And it’s not very hard to see why

No one’s slick as Gaston
No one’s quick as Gaston
No one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there’s no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one’s been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
No one’s got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating
My- what a guy, that Gaston

Give five “hurrahs!”
Give twelve “hip-hips!”
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips

No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston
For there’s no one as burly and brawny
As you see I’ve got biceps to spare
Not a bit of him’s scraggly or scrawny
(That’s right!)
And ev’ry last inch of me’s covered with hair

No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
I’m espcially good at expectorating
(Ptooey!)
Ten points for Gaston!

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev’ry morning to help me get large
And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I’m roughly the size of a barge

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No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
I use antlers in all of my decorating
Say it again
Who’s a man among men?
And then say it once more
Who’s the hero next door?
Who’s a super success?
Don’t you know? Can’t you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There’s just one guy in town who’s got all of it down
And his name’s G-A-S- T –
G-A-S-T – E –
G-A-S-T-O – oh!

GASTON!!!

For more on Beauty and the Beast, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines List

For more of my favorite songs, go to If I Never Knew You

For more on Disney Villains, go to The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For more on Disney go to I’ll Make a Man Out of You

For more on Draco Malfoy, go to Even After All This Time

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In other news:

Fridaythe13th

and not just that, it is also a full moon

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Yep two things:

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Horror films!!! And…

Pizza Delivery Sabrina the teenage witch

Pizza!!!

Yep every Friday the 13th pizza and a horror flick!

If you are into scary movies then I suggest reviewing Horrorfest: 31 Day of Terror and Woe and Horrorfest II: The Oddities of October. Also keep your eyes peeled for a three-quel!

And if you want to continue in this Friday the 13th mood, check out Camp Blood: Friday the 13th (1980) and A Deliciously Creepy Tale: Butterfinger the 13th.

The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

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Day 6) Your Favorite Disney Villain

My absolute favorite Disney villain is:

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Ratigan

The Great Mouse Detective is an animated parody of Sherlock Holmes and has mice instead of people. Instead of Sherlock Holmes, we have Basil (nod to Basil Rathbone who played Sherlock Holmes in the movies) of 221 1/2 Baker Street with his helper Dawson instead of Watson. Basil plays a violin, is a scientist, etc.

His arch-nemesis instead of being Professor Moriority is Ratigan. He is super creepy and pretty awesome for a villain. First of all, he is played by Vincent Price, one of the best horror actors/villains of all time! I love that man.

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In fact Vincent Price, said that doing Ratigan was his favorite role because he had two songs written for him. Both of which are AMAZING! The first song is The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind and Goodbye So Soon. They both show his strength, cunning, sadistic side, etc. My favorite song has to be  The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind.

Now when I say he’s sadistic, he is one crazy dude. He doesn’t like being referrred to as a rat, he wants to be a mouse, and if anyone fails to call him that he sics his killer cat Felicia on them.

While he is an elegant criminal, beneath that cool and charming exterior is fearal beast.

Uber creepy right?

But he’s just one of those criminals that you love to hate and while hate, can help but sort of admire his style.

For more on Sherlock Holmes, go to A Hunky Helping of Manwich

For more on Disney, go to The Cat’s Meow

For more on Vincent Price, go to the 25 Films of Christmas

For more films based on books, go to A Hidden Wonder

For more of my favorite songs, go to Out for Summer

For more on Horror films, go to I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

30 Day Challenge: Disney Edition

So I’ve decided to do this Disney 30 Day challenge I found, as I just went to Disneyland and have Disney on the brain.

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Yay!!!  I know, everything is better disnified. If you don’t believe me, check this out.

So here are the challenges:

Day 1) Your Favorite Disney Princess

Day 2) Your Favorite Disney Prince

Day 3) Your Favorite Disney Heroine

Day 4) Your Favorite Disney Animal

Day 5) An Underrated Disney Movie

Day 6) Your Favorite Disney Villain

Day 7) Your Favorite Disney Male Sidekick

Day 8) Your Favorite Disney Female Sidekick

Day 9) A Disney Film You Like but Others Hate

Day 10) The Most Aesthetically Pleasing Disney Film

Day 11) Your Favorite Disney Song

Day 12) Your Favorite Disney Love Song

Day 13) Your Favorite Disney Villain Song

Day 14) Your Least Favorite Disney Song

Day 15) The First Disney Movie You Ever Saw

Day 16) A Disney Movie that Makes You Laugh

Day 17) Your Least Favorite Disney Classic

Day 18) Your Favorite Disney-Pixar

Day 19) Your Least Favorite Disney-Pixar

Day 20) Favorite Disney Sequel

Day 21) A Disney Movie that Makes Your Cry

Day 22) Saddest Disney Death

Day 23) Your Favorite Disney Theme Park Ride

Day 24) Your Favorite Disney Kiss

Day 25) Your Favorite Disney Classic

Day 26) Your Favorite Disney Original Movie (DCOM)

Day 27) Your Favorite Disney Hero

Day 28) Your Favorite Scene from Your Favorite Disney Movie

Day 29) Your Favorite Disney Remake

Day 30) Your Favorite Disney Character of All-Time

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A Fright on Halloween Night: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949)

You can’t reason with a headless man.

As a kid I remember that this movie used to scare the bejeezus out of me. The headless horseman was uber creepy.

Ghosts are bad, but the one that’s cursed,
Is the Headless Horseman; he’s the worst!

But the film was amazing!

One reason why it was so fantastic was that they had the very handsome, and very charming Bing Crosby be the narrator and singer.

I love this man!

He doesn’t even have to show his face, just listening to his sexy voice is enough for me.

So Disney actually manages to do an extremely good job and creating a fun, but still creepy children’s film. They also managed to keep the story very similar to the short story, in fact taking pieces from the actual text and placing it in the film.

FYI Spoiler Alert

So the cartoon starts out with the classic Disney opening:

All fairy tales or films based on short stories and novels used to open with the pages of a book. I miss that opening and wish they portrayed it in more films. I know they brought it back for Enchanted, but I still wish there was more of it.

The first person we are introduced to is Brom Bones

I never liked Brom. He always seemed like a jerk to me. He was big and brawny, “handsome” to some; but a mean bully. He reminds me of a lesser cool Gaston. (I love Gaston, even though he is a jerk. His song is awesome)

I mean he gives liquor to animals. That’s abuse right there.

Anyways, Brom is shocked at the appereance of a new man in town. In fact this stranger suprises everyone. It’s Ichabod, Ichabod Crane the school teacher.

“Debonair and devil-may-care
It’s the new schoolmaster
What’s his name
Ichabod!
Ichabod Crane!”

He’s tall, rail thin, and has one heck of a schnozza; but I always liked him better as he was well-read and not a loser like Brom.

Icabod also loves to eat. He goes to his student’s homes to partake in their food, making it a complete part of his lifestyle.

Even though Ichabod isn’t really a looker he still has all the girls in town’s hearts a flutter.

With a voice like Bing Crosby’s who could blame them?

This of course upsets Brom, who tries his best to prank Ichabod and make him seem dumb.

Next to enter the scene is the lovely Katrina Van Tassel. Not only is she the prettiest in the town, but her father is the richest man.

“Narrator: Oh, Katrina, my love. Who can resist your grace, your charm? And who can resist your father’s farm? Boy, what a set-up! There’s gold in them acres…Dear Katrina, my love, my treasure. Treasure? Ah, that barn’s a gold mine. How I’d love to hit the jackpot. Sweet Katrina, Papa’s only child. Papa? Well, the old goat can’t take it with him, and when he cuts out, that’s where I cut in.” 

Every guy in town wants to get with Katrina, Ichabod included. The only problem is that Brom is interested in Katrina, in fact he is planning on marrying her. Katrina however is enjoying the attention of Ichabod. She likes the fact that he is so different from anyone she’s ever met.

Ichabod is able to to best Brom in every way, by using his brain over brawn.

However, Ichabod is a very superstitous person. We saw in his song how he doesn’t like black cats, walking under ladders, salt over the shoulder, etc.

Brom catches on to this and tells a horrific story about the Headless Horseman.

“Brom Bones: [singing] When the ghosts have a midnight jamboree, they break it up with fiendish glee. Ghosts are bad, but the one that’s cursed, is the Headless Horseman; he’s the worst! 
Chorus: [singing] That’s right, he’s a fright on Halloween night! 
Brom Bones: When he goes a-jogging across the land, holding his noggin in his hand, demons take one look and groan, and they hit the road for parts unknown!…I’m telling you, brother, it’s a frightful sight for what goes on Halloween night.” 

Its midnight and Halloween, and after hearing the story, Ichabod is doubly freaked out on his walk home.

Of course on his way home he runs into THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN!

 “Next morning, Ichabod’s hat was found, and close beside it, a shattered pumpkin, but there was no trace of the schoolmaster. It was shortly thereafter that Brom Bones led the fair Katrina to the altar. Now, rumors persisted that Ichabod was still alive, married to a wealthy widow in a distant county. But of course, the settlers refused to believe such nonsense, for they knew the schoolmaster had been spirited away by the Headless Horseman.”

I always thought that the horseman was Brom and not a ghost, but I like how they end it so that you can draw your own conculsion as to what has really happened.

Hope you enjoyed this hair-raising tale. More to come!

Here is a cover page I made for my facebook for my Halloween countdown

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To go to the beginning of Horrorfest, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to They’re Here

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For more on Disney Animated Films, go to The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For more on Disney, go to Doors of Death