So this is an old post that I retooled as it had many mistakes. This old post is one of the reasons why I gave this blog the name Jane Austen Runs My Life, because there are certain elements of my life that are similar to Jane Austen concepts. Such as:
Emma and Mr. Elton:
Me and Norman
In the story of Emma, Mr. Elton is the village Vicar who is handsome and single. Every girl has her eye on him, except Emma as she does not wish to be married. Elton has his eye on her as he likes her beauty, social status, and money.
Emma tries to set him up with her friend Harriet, never realizing that the whole time Elton liked her. When Elton declares his “love” for her, she rejects him. Thus making him go into ARGS (Angry Rejected Guy Syndrome), find another girl to make her jealous. Of course it doesn’t work on Emma, because she doesn’t like him.
Anyways as you will see later, this is a recurring theme with me. The first of the guys to do this was Norman. Norman fell hard for me, and am still at a loss why. Maybe it was because I was nice to him. Who know? But then and there he decided the two of us were going to go out.
Just like Elton he did all these “cutesy” things (not really), to try and get me to like him. The funniest thing about this was that he was trying to be really subtle about it, but everyone could see what was going on.
Like Elton he would try and get me anything I needed; drink, napkins, etc. And he always had to be by my side. EVEN when I was sitting with friends.
Let me just squeeze in between you two.
Some may find this adorable, but I didn’t. I didn’t like having him everywhere I went, always popping up, and trying to secure a seat next to me.
The worst of it was when he found out that I knew he liked me. His friend told me, but I told him that Norman was so obvious, of course I knew. Seeing as I knew, Norman decided to up his game. Instead of just hanging around me, he started FOLLOWING ME EVERYWHERE. If I went into the bathroom he would wait outside. If I was talking to friends, he would wait in the corner. Sometimes he would never even talk to me, just be constantly by me.
I’m not one who likes to have people suffocating me like that. And he was EVERYWHERE! I knew he wouldn’t do anything to harm me, let’s face it I could totally take him down, but I still felt like I was in a horror movie.
I always feel like somebody’s watching me
Now Norman wasn’t a psycho. He only followed me when I was out with friends (we had the same group of friends so we ran into each other a lot). But like I said before, it was suffocating. I couldn’t handle it. I knew the only thing I could do was be right out mean to get rid of him. [ I was 16 at the time. Please excuses my horribleness on the account of me being young.]
Now for anyone out there, there is one VERY fast way to get rid of someone who like you.
- Embarrass them.
I have used this method many times as it is so easy to do and always works. [Once again, I was young. I’m not that way anymore. It’s funny, as horrible as my ex-boyfriend Michael was in breaking my heart, he really made want to treat guys better. He thought I was the nicest person ever, and made me want to be nice.]
The first thing I did with Norman was wait until he a bunch of friends all around him. (This is crucial as it is not only important to completely crush his ego in front of all his friends but provides witnesses so that he can’t say something happened that didn’t.) [Once again I was young]
Then I asked him sweetly, smiling (it’s a clincher, it relaxes them and they don’t realize what’s to come), if I could talk to him, making sure we stayed in front of his friends. (All their attention was riveted on us. Everyone knew that he liked me and I think they were all waiting to see what I would say.)
Then I told him, (sweet tone gone)
“Norman, you are freaking me out! You need to stop following me around!”
Then I immediately left the scene of the crime with all his friends sniggering behind me. (Also important! Don’t let them get a word in, be there, be mean, and leave.) [I am cringing as I reread this. I was a horrible person. Horrible! Thank goodness Michael made me want to be nicer. I can’t believe I used to do that. But it is effective if anyone wants to use in the future.]
Some may say it was cruel, and I agree it was, [I really do] but it worked. After that Norman hated me and wouldn’t go near me. He exhibited every bit of the ARGS (Angry Rejected Guy Syndrome), and immediately started paying all his attention to my friend Ruth. He tried to make me jealous, by always sitting with her, talking to her, etc. He wanted to show me he was over me and could “do better”, but I didn’t mind, I got the space I wanted, and peace of mind.
Unfortunately Norman didn’t learn from his episode with me and continued to follow those he liked, causing him to strike out with many, many, many times.
At one point he had a girlfriend, but this behavior which she had originally thought cute, ended up freaking her out too. He ended up moving away, and I don’t what happened to him or what he’s doing with his life now. I hope that as he’s matured and has changed his MO for ladies attention and is doing better in the dating pool.
After all we may like to sing Rockwell’s great hit, but no one wants to live it.
For more on Emma (jeez this has been a real Emma month huh? Guess I just have it on the brain) go to A Real Man
For more of my favorite songs go to It’s the Final Countdown