Tonight Has Been the Birth of the Planet of the Apes: Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)

Tonight Has Been the Birth of the Planet of the Apes

So we are almost done with out Planet of the Apes Wednesdays I’ve really enjoyed them as I think this has been the first time I’ve actually watched them all in order and completely through.

We open up in America 1991-Gorillas in orange jumpsuits, Chimps in green khakis. A whole new world.

So already digging two things about this film-Yes Roddy McDowell is in this one too (I just love him)! And it sounds as if they brought that awesome music from the first film- a tribal sound mixed with scifi.

So a lot has happened since the last film. It turns out Cornelius and Zira brought a space disease that killed all the cats and dogs in the world. Yes Taylor going through time disrupted the timeline and accelerated it.

Just like Cornelius had said, the people began adopting apes to have them be pets, and then when they become so good at everything, they start treating them as slaves.

All of them

The police/security guards are all dressed as gestapo and the apes aren’t allowed to gather and meet freely. They are training the apes to be slaves, just like Cornelius said in the previous film. Carry packages, tie shoes, shoe-shine, mop, waiters hairdressers, servers, etc. The apes are on leashes, yes they are man sized-look like people but treated like animals.

People are protesting as the apes take their jobs. They really get you on the metaphor. It is interesting as this is clearly speaking from the headlines of the, but some things are still relevant to today.

We see Cesare and the circus owner, Armando (Ricardo Montalban). They give us a brief recap of where we left off in the as film (I summarized above). So Armando has protected Cesare by keeping him away from the cities in his traveling circus. However, they have needed to go to the city to get a crowd and make more money

So WORST IDEA EVER!!! Why would you bring the most sought after talking ape who has been sheltered his whole life to the city where they treat apes cruel. You should have left him with the circus animals.

The police start roughhousing with an ape and, of course Cesare speaks out. They are close to being captured, but the attention is grabbed by someone else and they melt away into the crowd.

Cesare runs away and they hide out for a bit. Armando never should have brought him.

Armando tells Cesare to wait for him, he is going to the police and make up a story. If he doesn’t return by nine o’clock, the plan is for Cesare to head to the harbor and pretend to be an ape fresh off the boat.

Armando ends up in the governor’s office, and they torture question Armando more and more. Armando continues to fight them and protect Cesare. He continues to say that he has no clue about the chimps from space and monkeys.

The governor doesn’t believe him and is taking no chances. In the provinces, where the circus has been-there has been no issues. But in the city, there have been uprisings. One ape attacked his owner, which an aide says was because of excessive beatings, proof seen on the body.  But the governor doesn’t care. He doesn’t like them, and they all must be subservient or ELSE!

So Armando doesn’t come and Cesare sneaks into the harbor with the other apes. They are all freaking out-worried, but Cesare calms them down. When they arrive off the boat they are fingerprinted and taken to be trained.

That’s not good.

I really like the buildings on this, it kind of makes me think of Total Recall set design.

So the guards have flamethrowers, just like the Nazis. Yes, the Nazi vibe is really heavy here. We see it in the uniforms the guards wear, the camps to train the apes in, flamethrowers, apes having to wear certain clothes, apes having to be separate, etc.

Hmm…

Cesare is put in a pen with other chimps and given a banana . The other chimps have been going crazy as they have been starved all day, but Cesare shares the banana with the others.

Meanwhile the guards are torturing I mean questioning Armando. I like how the guards in charge of the apes are a mix of races, although only men. I guess women don’t get to be guards in this new world order.

So Cesare of course is just blowing the guards away with his talent, being much faster at picking up the training.

There are very few orangoutangs in this and probably because they have to be bigger and the makeup budget was slashed. The gorillas and chimps were much easier.

So they breed the chimps and gorillas like in Anthem by Ayn Rand. Cesare gets picked as a breeder and…

This movie is Anthem! Both films have a society were a small elite rule over a larger group that have to do “lower” things like janitorial, shoe shining, etc. They assign certain people to each other and breed them. One man rebels against them, and in Anthem runs off with their lady to recreate society.

Must be why I love that book, (I obviously saw this before I read it.)

Anyways…

They then chain the apes up to monoliths and sell them. Cesare is brough out for the bidding and the guard drops the cuffs and Cesare picks it up and gives it to him. Everyone can see that he is a chimpanzee of great intelligence and he goes for $1500 to the governor! Eep!

That’s not good.

So whenever the people speak to apes they say “no” a lot. I don’t think I say no to my cat that much, but then who could make a cat a slave? No wonder that was Aldo’s first word.

Breck: Ah, it seems the little fella’s not quite so bright after all.

MacDonald: No, but then brightness has never been encouraged among slaves.

The governor lets Cesare pick out his own name, as his wife has all their apes do it, and he chooses Caesar. What book were they looking at that the Cs were in the middle of the book? I guess if it was an “a-d” volume but it was a fat book.

Hmm…

Cesare walks taller than the others and more like a man. He is lead out and intrigued by all that he sees on the world. They climb through these tunnels, and they look like the ones they went through in Beneath the Plant of the Apes Yay! Continuity.

Caesar gets put to work on filing.

Meanwhile, Armando is still in questioning. They finally decide to release him after he signs a declaration. He doesn’t read it, but signs right away. He shouldn’t have don’t that.

Always read before you sign.

They put him under a machine that forces him to tell the truth-see shouldn’t have signed.

Bad luck is never ending!

He fights with them and they beat him, he ends up trying to escape and goes out the window falling to his death.

Ah, poor Armando. He never should have taken Cesare into the world, he should have left him in the circus. But if he had, we never would have had this  film.

Poor Caesar hears of it and cries,. The only father he as ever known!

So the governor obsesses about Cornelius, Dr. Zira, and ape uprising over and over-yet has their child working for him. Seriously-dude.

Caesar begins the uprising, by having all the apes collect items and start saying no. I like how he is there at each uprising-he is either there or his spirit is!

The Governor wants all bad apes to be rounded up and sent to the conditioning center, but because of Caesar’s rebellion the centers are full. He also is searching for the ape, Cornelius and Zira’s baby-convinced it is still alive!

The govenor’s aide, Malcolm Macdonald (Hari Rhodes), thinks the governor is being useless. Making a list of the bad apes, fighting the apes, he thinks he is committing folly and creating more problems, the governor does not agree. However, with all this extra work the governor is making them do, one thorough worker discovers that a crate from Borneo had a chimp in it-the one that was sold to the governor. The Chimp can’t be from Borneo as chimps don’t live there.

Th governor calls for Caesar to be sent to his office, preparing to kill him,  McDonald feels bad and doesn’t send him in as he is on an “errand”.

The governor keeps calling McDonald and he ignores the governor until he can’t no longer. He is at a crossroad, he does’t want Caesar to be tortured and murdered, but what can he do?

Caesar speaks t him, and McDonald’s eyes just go bam with shock-he is a much better actor than Brent.

I like how Caesar and McDonald talk about revolution, McDonald is African American and does’t agree with society, as after all it was only 30 years go (the year is 1991 in the film) that African Americans were be treating similar to how the apes are now. But at the same time he doesn’t want a revolution, killing, etc

“Caesar: [to Malcolm] You above everyone else should understand.”

As they talk the Gestapo come storming down and McDonald’s conscience and morals win out over duty. He releases Caesar and he scurries off. Cesar tries to hide, but is eventually found and chained to be tortured into talking.

They put Caesar into the torture machine to try and get him to talk, to prove he is the ape they have been searching for. He just screams in agony. But eventually the pain is to great and Caesar finally gives in and says help

McDonald sneaks away and cuts the power to let Caesar be free as he doesn’t want him to be electrocuted to death.

Cesar appears to be dead, but I know he isn’t They should know better to always check a pulse! I’ve seen enough horror films. They aren’t really dead right away.

Cesar goes over and kills the guard.The revolution has begun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

La Liberté Guidant le Peuple (Liberty Leading the People)

Viva la Cesare!!!

He goes to where all his ape buddies/followers are waiting and the uprising begins!!!

It is interesting how this film doesn’t have a lot of dialogue, as a majority of your cast is silent, but the film is really intriguing as they know how to show you how you feel. I feel a lot of today’s film’s don’t know how to just give us the visuals and let is be intelligent enough to know what they are trying to show and represent.

Governor calls his men trying to take the apes down, but it’s not gonna work. They are coming for you Man in the High Castle!

You now this film reminds me a lot of I Robot. I think they copied a lot from this film. All the people need to be inside a sthe Ape army marches on.

What the humans don’t realize is that they have been planning for this moment and are prepared to take over.

They police keep telling the apes no and to go back, but they persevere-a silent army that will be be silent no longer.

The apes net the humans, being reminiscent if the first film. Well done writers, well done.

The apes storm across the plaza with weapons picked up from the police they have stopped. Armed and organized! With shields!

But then they stop. What are they waiting for?

Fire, earlier they had poured gasoline in the square and they set it on fire and storm off-ape versus man! I think it is obvious who would win.

Chaos, fire, and fighting-what every Dystopian Future film has to have! (Think about all the ones you have seen, they all have those three things in them).

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO One if the apes burns the books!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I no longer approve of your revolution.

The governor barricades himself, but the apes cut through the door. And in comes Caesar storming the gates and shooting up everyone.

Caesar saves the governor though just to confront him. Caesar asks him why did you turn your pets into slaves? He says because we were born from  you. You are the beast that resides in us and you must be shackled and destroyed.

They take him out t be killed and they stab and kill the humans. MacDonald tries to stop him, telling him what he is doing is wrong. He begs him to show humanity to the men. But Caesar coldly replies that he is not human! Caesar starts giving a speech that is a glimpse of the future (or past film?)

MacDonald: Caesar… Caesar! This is not how it was meant to be.

Caesar: In your view or mine?

MacDonald: Violence prolongs hate, hate prolongs violence. By what right are you spilling blood?

Caesar: By the slave’s right to punish his persecutor.

MacDonald: I, a descendant of slaves, am asking you to show humanity.

Caesar: But, I was not born human.

MacDonald: I know. The child of the evolved apes.

Caesar: Whose children shall rule the earth.

MacDonald: For better or for worse?

Caesar: Do you think it could be worse?

MacDonald: Do you think this riot will win freedom for all your people? By tomorrow…

Caesar: By tomorrow it will be too late. Why a tiny, mindless insect like the emperor moth can communicate with another over a distance of 80 miles…

MacDonald: An emperor ape might do slightly better?

Caesar: Slightly? What you have seen here today, apes on the 5 continents will be imitating tomorrow.

MacDonald: With knives against guns? With kerosene cans against flamethrowers?

Caesar: Where there is fire, there is smoke. And in that smoke, from this day forward, my people will crouch and conspire and plot and plan for the inevitable day of Man’s downfall – the day when he finally and self-destructively turns his weapons against his own kind. The day of the writing in the sky, when your cities lie buried under radioactive rubble! When the sea is a dead sea, and the land is a wasteland out of which I will lead my people from their captivity! And we will build our own cities in which there will be no place for humans except to serve our ends! And we shall found our own armies, our own religion, our own dynasty! And that day is upon you… now!”

So I know some people were upset since Roddy McDowell clearly states in the previous film, that the leader of the one who rebelled against the humans was called Aldo and the leader in this film was originally Milo, then Caesar.

But I think it worked. I mean they didn’t know they were to become the parents of the future leader or plan for it. And it was never thought they would go to the past so the timeline was disrupted, first by Taylor, then Brent, and then Cornelius and Dr. Zira.

Caesar: But now… now we will put away out hatred. Now we will put down our weapons. We have passed through the Night of the Fires. And who were our masters are now our servants. And we, who are not human, can afford to be humane. Destiny is the will of God. And, if it is man’s destiny to be dominated, it is God’s will that he be dominated with compassion and understanding. So, cast out your vengeance. Tonight, we have seen the birth of the Planet of the Apes!

Fire consumes the city and the apes cheer. But what will the future hold? We will find out next Wednesday when I review the last film of the original Planet of the Apes: Battle for Planet of the Apes. 

I wasn’t sure I would be able to do all five but I’m feeling super confident- I think I’ve got this in the bag.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Planet of the Apes, go to We Think We’ve Got All the Time in the World, But How Much Time Has the World Got?: Escape from Planet of the Apes (1971)

For more Roddy McDowell, go to Take Your Stinking Paws Off Me, you D*** Dirty Ape!: Planet of the Apes (1968)

For more dystopian future films, go to Don’t Go in There! You Don’t Have to Die! No One Has to Die at 30! You Could Live! LIVE!: Logan’s Run (1976)

Happiness is Having a Library Card: Another 13 of the Best Fictional Libraries

So if you’ve been following me, you are pretty aware of my love of libraries.

A few years ago I did a post on 13 of my favorite fictional libraries from TV, film, and books. I really enjoyed doing it as I love libraries!

But after I did it, I noticed more amazing libraries. So here we go, another 13 Favorite Fictional Libraries.

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13) Bruce Templeton’s Library from The Glass Bottom Boat (1966)

In The Glass Bottom Boat, by chance Jennifer Nelson (Doris Day), NASA tour guide and mermaid for her father’s glass bottom boat business, meets “Space Science Wizard” and inventor, Bruce Templeton (Rod Taylor). He likes her and hires her to write about his “new” project so he can spend time and woo her. The only problem is, he’s working on Top Secret Project GISMO, that Russian spies are after. Due to a simple misunderstanding, the CIA believe Jennifer to be a spy trying to get information from him. The actions afterwards are zany slapstick. And when Jennifer finds out the truth, boy does she get mad-and even.

Why the library is awesome!: So after Bruce made millions on all his inventions, he bought a gigantic house and made it state of the art. With all that money, you know he went to work creating a wonderful library as well. Just imagine what kind of books he owns!

For more on The Glass Bottom Boat, go to Mata Hari Stops At Nothing. Nothing Comes Between Mata Hari and What She Wants: The Glass Bottom Boat (1966)

12)The King’s Son’s Library in The Garden of Paradise by Hans Christian Anderson

The King’s Son loves to read and has read all the books on everything in the world. However, he is severely disappointed that there is nothing on the Garden of Paradise. He bemoans that they have missed out on the wonders and berates Adam and Eve for giving into temptation and how he would have done better. But when he gets his chance will he make the right choice, or give into temptation as well?

Why the library is awesome!: It is only mentioned in the beginning of the story, but sounds so amazing!!!

“There was once a King’s son. Nobody had so many or such beautiful books as he had. He could read about everything which had ever happened in the world and see it in the most beautiful pictures.”

I would love that as my own.

For more on Hans Christian Anderson, go to I Will Not Bend, I Will Not Break

11) Count Alexei Alexandrovich Karenin’s Library from Anna Karenina (1948)

So Anna Karenina is a long book that is hard to do in a simple summary, but I’ll try. Anna Karenina arrives at her brother’s home, to help out in his matrimonial woes (he was cheating on his wife with the governess). She convinces his wife to give her brother another chance and all is right. Meanwhile, Kitty (her sister-in-law) is trying to decide between two men-Levin and Count Vronsky. She chooses Count Vronsky, but after he sets eyes on Anna-that’s who he wants, even though she is married. Anna tells him to stop, but he continues to pursue her, and as her husband is more married to the state than his wife-she ultimately succumbs. While they fall into sin, Levin has a farm and in nature becomes closer to God and Kitty, as she discovers he is the better man. As this is a Russian story, the end is not happy but sad as Anna discovers the inequality of women in court and discovers that her love affair will cost her more than she ever imagined.

Why the library is awesome!: So Count Alexi has an amazing, multi-leveled library. As he is an important man of state it is probably full of law records and such, but still cool when you have so many books and such high shelves that you need a stepladder to get them. And check out that amazing writing desk and beautiful candlesticks. One classy and gorgeous library.

For more on Anna Karenina, go to Anna Karenina Made Me View Maria Bertram-Rushworth and Mary Crawford Differently

10) John Lockwood’s Museum from Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

In Jurassic Park: Fallen Kingdom Claire Dearing and Owen have separated and she has started a group to save the dinosaurs from extinction as the volcano on the island is going to errupt. When the Senate refuses to save them, John Lockwood (John Hammond’s old partner) reaches out to Claire to go to the island and save some, relocating them to a new island and sanctuary. Claire does, but it turns out that Lockwood’s assistant, Eli Mills, sent a mercenary team to capture some and sell at an auction. Claire, Owen (he’s back of course), and two new crew members Zia Rodriguez and Franklin Webb head out to the island and follow the crew back to the estate. Will they be able to save the dinosaurs, or end up gobbled up?

Why the library is awesome!: So they call it a museum, but I consider it a library as the second floor is full of books and comfy reading chairs. This library has dinosaur fossils and the models of what they would actually look like. Plus the spiral staircases and the comfortable leather sofas. And I bet those books are full of all kinds of dinosaur information.

9) The Vampire Library in “Blood Bound” from Choices

in Blood Bound you become the assistant to the amazing buisnessman, Adrian Raines. Things take a much different turn than you expected when it turns out that Adrian is a vampire! He was turned in the Revolutionary War, and now resides on the council and is trying to create a serum that will reverse the vampire effects. Another member on the council is trying to remove Adrian and use that serum to attack. Meanwhile, while more and more people are turning into vampires, but not added to a clan (which protects them from becoming feral-mindless killers), things start escalating to a full on vampire revolution of the unprotected against the clans. Will you help Adrian and stand by the council? Or join the rebels as they try to achieve justice? The choice is yours!

Why the library is awesome!: This library is the “true” history of the world”, told from the vampires and all that really occurred. It also houses different historical and powerful artifacts.

For more on Choices, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 9, An Indelicate Proposal

8) Dr. Jekyll’s Library in “Nowhere to Hyde” from Scooby-Doo, Where are You! (1970)

Scooby-Doo and the gang are always going out and about to different places and running into mysteries. They can’t say no to helping and quickly get caught up on a new case. In this episode, someone stole from a jewelry store and hid in the Mystery Machine. They discover the thief-who frightens them and follow him to Dr. Jekyll’s house. Could it be that his experiments created a monster? Or is someone trying to frame him?

Why the library is awesome!: So it is not a long scene, just a snippet, but enough to make you want it. Shelves and shelves of books, on all types of subjects from science to gothic fiction. The shelves also move to reveal secret rooms and passageways and trapdoors. How awesome would it be to have a library like that?

For more on Scooby-Doo, go to Nowhere to Hyde: Scooby-Doo Where Are You? (1970)

7) Penderghast University Library in “The Elementalists” from Choices

In The Elemetalists, you play as a normal girl who finds herself in another world, at Penderghast University, studying Magick and having superhuman abilities. What will be your core Magick, who will you fall in love with, what will happen next? It’s all up to you.

Why the library is awesome!: So like Harry Potter this is a magic library, with flying books, spells, and everything you could want. Sooo cool! I especially like the flying books, how easy it would be to carry those around and send them straight to your hand!

For more on Choices, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 8, Ill Repute

6) Carl Conrad Coreander’s Shop in The NeverEnding Story (1984)

So in the book, Mr. Coreander runs an antique store while in the film it is a bookstore. However, as Coreander has no interest in selling any tome, it really is his library and therefore is on the list.

Bastian is a lonely, bullied boy. He lives with a checked out single dad, does not enjoy school, and escapes his sadness by reading. One day he is running from bullies when he stops in the store to hide. There he meets Mr. Coreander and spots The NeverEnding Story. Intrigued by the title, he tries to buy it, but Mr. Coreander won’t sell it. Instead Bastian steals it, intending to bring it back later after reading, and hides out in the school attic reading it. There he goes to the land of Fantasia and finds himself a PART of the story!

Why the library is awesome!: So this one is so high up the list because I love Mr. Coreander. He is an adorable curmudgeon and I just love him and get him. He is someone who is unhappy with the techno craze and loves books, wishing more people did. He loves his books and hates having them leave him. I get that as I feel the same-I wish more people, espechially kids, would put the devices down and pick books up! Plus, he has THE NEVERENDING STORY!!!! THE NEVERENDING STORY, how COOL is THAT?!!!

For more on The NeverEnding Story, go to A Book Only a Reader Could Write

5) The Reform Club in Around the World in 80 Days by Jules Verne

Phileas Fogg is a man with money and spends his days reading at the Reform Club. There he overhears a conversation about traveling ’round the world, and bets £20,000 that he can do it in 80 days. He sets off with his valet, Passepartout, and is followed by a Detective Fix, who believes him to be a bank robber (he matches the description of the robber). On their way they have all kinds of adventures from rescuing a princess in India, riding elephants, being attacked on a train in America, and more.

Why the library is awesome!:

Phileas Fogg is an avid reader, as in that is what he primarily spends his days doing, yet he owns no library himself. He feels it would be superfluous as he is a member of the reform library which has not one, but two libraries. One of general literature, while the other is of law and politics. For someone to be such a huge reader and not have their own library, that means the Reform Club’s library has to be AmAzing!

For more on Around the World in 80 Days, go to I Think I Have Found a Means of Conveyance…An Elephant: Around the World in 80 Days

4) The Parrish Library from Jumanji (1995)

Alan Parrish is bullied constantly, and with his parents wanting to send him away to boarding school-he decides to run away. But before he does, he and his friend Sarah, play a mysterious game he found, Jumanji. When Alan rolls, he gets sucked into the game, and all is forgotten for 26 years. Then Judy and Peter move into the old Parrish house with their aunt who plans on turning it into a bed and breakfast. The two find the game and unleash monkeys, mosquitoes, a lion, Alan, and more. Now it is up to them to finish the game and right everything, before their aunt finds out-or worse something eats him.

Why the library is awesome!: We don’t spend too much time in the library, but like The NeverEnding Story this ranks so high due to nostalgia. I always wanted this library. I loved the way the chairs were, the colors of the room, the wood paneling, how it was so old fashioned. I liked how there were knick knacks in the shelves and that’s how I’ve had my library ever since. I’ve always hated the scene when the stampeded comes through, NO-NOT the LIBRARY!

For more on Jumanji, go to A Little Monkey Business: Chinese New Year

3) Aunt Marie’s Trailer from Grimm

So Grimm is a modern day telling of the Grimm Fairy Tales but with a twist. Creatures from the fairy tales live among us, appearing as human to all but a select few. Instead of being the “brothers Grimm”, the Grimm are certain people who have the ability to see those monsters, or Wesen as they are called, from the tales. The series centers on Nick Burkhardt, Portland Police Officer, who discovers he is a Grimm and actually does what no Grimm has before-befriends Wesen and jails those that are attacking (some he does kill). In his crew he has his police partner: a vegetarian Blutbad (Werewolf) named MonroeFuschbau (Fox) named Rosalee; other Grimm, and more.

Why the library is awesome!: So I know they never call it a library, but it technically is. There are books from throughout the centuries, all over the world, written by all kinds of Grimm on different Wessen. Besides the stacks of books, there all all kinds of weapons, potions, film reels, Crusader keys that lead to great treasure, etc. In season 3 episode 21, The Inheritance, Josh Porter and his father travel to Portland and give Nick a trunk full of Grimm weapons and books. In season 5 episode 10, Map of the Seven Knights, Monroe’s uncle Felix is approached by a colleague about some old books she found. He recognizes them as Grimm books and tries to set a bargain with Nick. He travels to Oregon, and they become a part of Nick’s collection, along with another key to the map. Sadly, in season 4 episode 9, Iron Hans, Juliette sets fire to the trailer, burning countless irreplaceable literature and weaponry. I have to admit that scene made me cry more than any other-too far Juliet! Too far! Luckily for Uncle Felix or there would be nothing left on the subject.

For more on Grimm, go to Top O’ the Morning: 7 More Irish Heroes

2) The Addam’s Family Library in The Addam’s Family (1991)

The Addams family is a gothic themed family living in modern times. Gomez and Morticia live there happily or, depressingly, with their kids Wednesday and Pugsley-and servants Lurch and Hand. All would be great, except they are missing Gomez’ brother Fester, who disappeared after they had a falling out. The Addams’ lawyer, Tully Alford, owes money to a loan shark and hatches a plan with the loan shark to use her son, Gordon, to pose as Fester (he looks just like him)-infiltrate the family, and get all the money. But as Gordon/Fester spends more time with the family, he grows to really like him. Will he stick to the plan? Or change sides?

Why the library is awesome!:

So the library is gorgeous in the decoration and Victorian Gothic features. It has floor to ceiling bookcases, an Iron Maiden, organ, fireplace, swords, and beautiful antiques. Plus the bookcases move to reveal a safe, and you open up some they make things happen-like Gone With the Wind releases a tornado. You have to be careful as these books aren’t your everyday literature.

For more on The Addams Family, go to Because We’re Addams: The Addams Family (1991)

1) Pemberley Library, from Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen

This needs no summary:

Why the library is awesome!:

Mr. Darcy loves to read and being a gentleman-you know he is going to have one sweet library. One with priceless books inherited from his ancestors and adding to it all the time

“I am astonished,” said Miss Bingley, “that my father should have left so small a collection of books. What a delightful library you have at Pemberley, Mr. Darcy!”

   “It ought to be good,” he replied; “it has been the work of many generations.”

“And then you have added so much to it yourself, you are always buying books.”

It would be hard to turn that down. Elizabeth,  I don’t know how you did it.

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to I Only Read Pride and Prejudice Because I Hated the Keira Knightley Adaptation

For my original post of 13 Best Fictional Libraries, go to Heaven on Earth: 13 of the Best Fictional Libraries

For more bookish posts, go to An Ode to Goodreads

For more on libraries, go to My Home Away from Home

 

Mr. Hyde Versus the Werewolf: Dr. Jekyll Versus the Werewolf (1972)

Mr. Hyde versus the Werewolf

So I was shelving in the library and came across this film. I love Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and werewolves, so of course I had to see it.

This film was a low budget movie from the ’70s and it is bad-very bad. It is actually sixth in the series about Count Waldemar Daninsky-noble turned werewolf.

It starts off with newly wed couple-Justine (Shirley Corrigan) and Imre Kosta (José Marco) are celebrating with friends before their honeymoon, one friend being Dr. Henry Jekyll (Jack Taylor)-the grandson of the Dr. Jekyll.

They couple are planning to travel to Kosta’s home in Transylvania for their honeymoon, so that Kosta can visit his fatherland and parent’s grave. Jekyll jokingly warns them about vampires and werewolves-the storm outside crashing through the window on that last one.

You all know what that means-foreshadowing.

When the couple returns to Transylvania, Justine does not enjoy it-screaming at everything that surprises her. Annoying.

Ugh

They get warned against visiting the old gravesite, where Kosta’s parents are buried, as gangs hang out there and it is next to the Black Castle where the monster werewolf lives.

They go anyway and Justine asks how Kosta’s parents died-interesting as it is odd she never asked him that before. He reveals that his parents were murdered, hacked to death. He only survived because he was at his aunt and uncle’s house staying the night. They took him to England and he has never looked back.

So I’m thinking that maybe the werewolf is connected to this-but they are interrupted when a gang tries to hijack their car. Kosta goes to stop them and is murdered. Well…he had a short time. And I guess we never find out about his parents-why even include their murder if it has nothing else to do with the story?

Anyways, Justin screams again as the gang attacks her planning on raping her. Now her screaming makes sense but it is really annoying. But a werewolf arrives and saves her stabbing one of the gang members.

Stabbing.

Yes-a werewolf stabbing his victim. Stabbing. STABBING. staaabbbing. Doesn’t matter how many times I say it, it still sounds stupid.

So Justine wakes up after fainting in a completely new outfit-weird. When did she change…or who changed her? She sees her dead husband and Waldemar Daninsky (Paul Naschy) the werewolf. She runs and screams again.

Ugh!

He and his housekeeper, who everyone in town believes to be a witch, explain everything to her. Justine wants to leave but they have to wait until the full moon ends.

The relatives of the dead gang member decide to get their revenge, but are no match for the werewolf. Afterwards, Justine and Waldemar head to England. There Justine asks Dr. Jekyll for his help-but he doesn’t believe her. Justine begs him to help the man she loves and he agrees after he has seen and studied the man for himself.

Wow she is in love with Waldemar. I know her husband died but she’s been married a week and has fallen in love with some other guy she just met? Wow;

Waldemar heads to the clinic, but gets stuck in an elevator with a nurse. They are in there for two hours when he turns and kills her.

After that-Henry is convinced. They go out to the country to his other lab. He comes up with the idea to inject Waldemar with the serum that turned the original Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde. It will fight against the werewolf, but hopefully will be stronger and Waldemar will become Mr. Hyde. Then they will inject him with the antidote and Waldemar will be back to normal.

Henry’s nurse and the his booty call, doesn’t like this idea. She wants them to use the serum to control and world domination-etc. He refuses and she becomes very angry-she’s tired of being second fiddle to Justine who doesn’t even care for him-and now with science choosing Justine again. That’s it!

The next full moon Dr. Jekyll tries his experiment and it works-Waldemar turns into Hyde. He looks more like the Spencer Tracey version than the Fredrich March version. He even magically gets a cane and caped jacket-like something a Victorian would wear.

Dr. Jekyll is pleased with how it has gone and ready to inject the antidote, when the nurse turns on him an injects him. She releases Hyde.

Justine finds Dr. Jekyll and helps him to a bed for his final moments. He warns her that she must destroy the rest of the serum as Hyde will want it to stay alive. He also warns her he didn’t finish, so when the fill moon rises again-Hyde will become a werewolf. Justine follows his instructions with the lab.

When Hyde returns to the lab he becomes enraged that Justine slipped through their fingers and that the serum is gone. He kills the nurse and then goes off to the city to get “pleasure and women.” He also kills a drunk.

He goes to a club and gets a girl extra hot and interested in him-why? Don’t know. He looks so odd like a Victorian man in the ’70s but hey she’s into him. She steps away from the table and he transforms back into Waldemar. Of which the girl is very angry, I guess she thought Hyde was more attractive.

Waldemar becomes the werewolf and goes on a rampage. He finds Justine, somehow, who screams again. Ugh.

But she does kill him, very Emily Blunt in The Wolfman (2010). And that is the end.

Yeah, not that good. The best part was when Dr. Jekyll and the wolfman interact but it doesn’t last long. If we had more-it would have been better. Why is it that the best film to do a mashup of monsters thus far that I have seen is Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein? You think it would be easy to make a great monster mashup but no.

To start Horrorfest VII from the beginning, go to It’s the End of the World: The Birds (1963)

For the previous post, go to Basil of Baker Street: The Great Mouse Detective (1986)

For more Dr. Jekyll, go to Welcome to a New World of Gods and Monsters: The Mummy (2017)

For more Mr. Hyde, go to Nowhere to Hyde: Scooby-Doo Where Are You? (1970)

For more werewolves, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

Nowhere to Hyde: Scooby-Doo Where Are You? (1970)

I have always been a gigantic Scooby-Doo fan. I used to watch Scooby-Doo Where Are You?13 Ghosts of Scooby-DooA Pup Named Scooby-DooThe New Scooby-Doo Movies (in which Scooby-Doo meets the Harlarm Globetrotters, Cher, Sonny Bono, Batman, Robin, Josie & the Pussycats, etc.), The New Scooby-Doo, What’s New Scooby-Doo.

My favorite of course was Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?. I used to watch the show all the time and had four birthday parties be Scooby-Doo themed. I had a huge collection of Scooby-Doo toys, from my own mystery machine and multiple Scooby-Doos; to a clock, clothes, books, and almost anything else you can think of.

fangirl casual fan diehard fan consume me love it

One of my favorite episodes is Nowhere to Hyde the first episode of the second season.

So the gang is hanging out at the Malt Shop, just relaxing. Meanwhile, a mysterious green ghost climbs the walls of the jewelry shop stealing a rare necklace from the Movart Collection of Rare Jewels. To escape the police, he hides in the Mystery Machine.

The teens head out in their van, who’s heater is currently not working. When they ask Scooby-Doo to give them their blanket in the back he discovers the hidden Hyde.

They all don’t believe Scooby-Doo at first, but when they see him they burst out of the van and go running.

They hide and watch him take off into the marshes. When they follow him they track him to an old dilapidated mansion. They go to the door and fall through a trapdoor into the basement-a science lab.

They encounter Dr. Jekyll who is the great-grandson of the Dr. Jekyll. He too tried some experiments, tested it on himself, and became Dr. Hyde. He is worried it might be happening again. Such a trustworthy, weary sounding Doctor. He reversed it, but is afraid it might be happening again-he might be becoming Hyde again.

The gang splits up to search for “Hyde”.

Scooby-Doo amd Shaggy head up to the attic and they find a spider web, bats, and a costume. It falls on Scooby-Doo who scares Shaggy. They think Hyde is after them-but realize it is just a costume.

Then the weirdest thing happens, Helga the housekeeper interrupts them and doesn’t even care. Why are the teens here? Why are they in the attic? She just yells at them for making it a mess and keeps on cleaning.

Meanwhile, the others are searching and find a newspaper article about how Helga used to be a famous trapeze artist-gee I wonder how she ended up here.

Scooby and Shaggy run into the library and are looking at some books and discover Hyde in the library.

They run and do a great bit pretending they are on TV, when the set is broken.

This doesn’t fool Hyde for long and they are running again, taking Velma with them down a laundry chute to the basement. There they find a feather duster like the one Helga had and decide to head to Helga’s room.

Hmmm….

There they find a can of phosphorous paint and a bottle of knockout drops. Shaggy discovers something and tries to tell them, but is taken by Hyde.

After they rescue Shaggy, he reveals he found four suction cups.

They set a trap and catch the crook. And it is….

Dr. Jekyll

Yes it seems as if he is nowhere as intelligent as his great-grandfather and his experiments created nothing. Instead he sought to make up by stealing jewelry. When he knew he was going to be found out he tried to frame Helga.

To start Horrorfest VII from the beginning, go to It’s the End of the World: The Birds (1963)

For the previous post, go to Ever Heard of the Tommyknockers?: The Tommyknockers (1993)

For more Scooby-Doo, go to A Dog’s Life: Chinese New Year

For more Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, go to Man-Bat: On Leather Wings, Batman the Animated Series (1992)

For more on thieves, go to The Curious Case and Crime of Jane Leigh-Perrot

Welcome to a New World of Gods and Monsters: The Mummy (2017)

Welcome to a new world of gods and monsters.

So I love The Mummy (1932)

And The Mummy (1999)

But this one was horrible!

Ugh.

The plot made no sense at all!!!

Help me! I’m confused!

There was no cool Egyptian stuff or history or action at all. It didn’t even take place in Egypt but in England!

And they threw in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and didn’t explain why:

This is pretty much how I felt through the whole film:

It was just horrible from beginning to end, didn’t explain, and I didn’t care about any of the characters. I’d rather watch him:

Or him:

Or her:

Or her:

Any day.

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to What Do They Want You For? Murder: Silver Streak (1976)

For more mummy films, go to A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

For more Tom Cruise, go to Pot o’ Gold: 17 Irish Heroes

For The Mummy (1932), go to Eternal Punishment for Anyone Who Opens This Casket: The Mummy (1932)

For more Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, go to Man-Bat: On Leather Wings, Batman the Animated Series (1992)

For more sucky films, go to Have You Seen Megan Hipwell?: The Girl On the Train (2016)

For more sucky remakes, go to Dracula. Not Myth, Nor Ravings of a Mad Irish Novelist, Oh No, He’s Real: Dracula 2000 (2000)

I Have Been Remiss, My Deepest Apologies to The Darcy Monologues

So as you know I have just reviewed Part I of The Darcy Monologues.

I decided to look over the review that I posted and I was shocked:

I had failed to share how much I enjoyed this first part of the novel.

I mean when I first heard of this collection, I thought it sounded interesting:

It is a good idea.

Then I started reading it, only planning on looking at a few stories, but finding it hard to stop!

So I don’t know why I was so reserved in my review. I want to apologize to all you authors and editors for being so stingy in my praise .

I thought over why I reacted in such a way and have come up with four explanations:

1) I’ve been rereading Emma lately. Maybe subconsciously I took a card from Mr. Knightley’s deck.

2) This weekend was not only Mother’s Day, but a family member’s birthday; along with being a weekend that my niece stayed over. In my rush to get it posted in time, I could have just put up my notes leaving the “heart” out of it.

3) I’m highly allergic to scents and at work someone had sprayed something that gave me a bad allergic reaction, causing me to feel bad the rest of the day. I could have just been out of it.

4) Whatever air freshener they were spraying caused a chemical reaction that changed me from Moreland to Miss Snide.

Beware of the Snide!

Out of all of them I think the fault lies anywhere from 2-4, especially four. Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking caused it.

But joking aside, you know that I always am honest on this blog. Maybe I fudge names of friends and family or where I live, to protect my anonymity, but when I post a review I post how I really feel. And I feel that this first part, as I haven’t posted on the second just yet, is amazing. 

Fantastic!

I’m serious! Yes they might make alterations to the story, and maybe they chose paths I wouldn’t have gone down. But none of that takes away from the amazing work that these authors did. I enjoyed every one of them as each presented the Darcy we all love in a different view. You guys did a wonderful job.

This first part is something EVERY Jane Austen fan, Pride and Prejudice fan, or Darcy fan should read. You NEED to check this out.

In fact, I am going back to update my post to make sure it reflects the enjoyment I felt in reading it.

But will I love the second half, Elizabeth and Darcy traveling throughout time?

It is hard enough to take a story and bring something new to it in the time period, let alone trying to keep the story while transporting it to other times. You have to know your history, try to navigate the issues of the day, keep old constraints relevant in a different world, decide how much to keep of the original tale, etc.

You’ll just have to keep reading to find out!

And don’t forget to check this book out for yourself!

How To Survive A Horror Film

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With Halloween approaching and the number of Horror films increasing, I thought it would be a good time to write a post on how to survive a horror film, just in case you happen upon this situation 😉 . Most of us have heard of the “Randy Rules” in Scream (1996), but in this we are going to look a bit more in depth in how to successfully survive a horror film.

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1) Do Not Try Out Witchcraft, Ouija Boards, or any of the Occult for “Fun.” You Will Be Messing with Forces You Have No Control Over

It is never good to mess with the occult, play around with witchcraft, or use the ouija board. When you do such things you are opening a door to a lot of stuff you don’t want to mess with. Often you open yourself or others to demon possession or evil spirits. It is best to just stay far away from such things.

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2) Do Not Make Deals With the Devil, Demons, or Other Supernatural Beings

Never, ever make a deal with the devil. It is like trying to mess with the occult or witchcraft, you are opening yourself up to serious trouble, and the devil will not like to loose his quarry. Besides, the deals/wishes you make never turn out exactly as you hope.

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3) Anything and Everything Can be a Weapon

One of the things that bothers me the most is when people are surrounded by potential weapons and don’t use them. I mean look at Scream (1996), when Tatum is in the garage and attacked by Ghostface, she tries to squeeze herself through a tiny hole to escape rather then use something, anything in the garage. I mean she is in a GARAGE!!! There are hundreds of potential weapons! USE THEM!!! That is one example, but seriously, use anything and everything.

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4) Don’t Stop Assaulting Your Attacker Until You are Sure They Are Not Going to Get Up

Now this is huge. In horror movies, if the person is able to outwit the killer and knock them out, they usually just leave it at that and take off. DON’T! You knock that sucker out until you are sure they are no longer going to try to injure you. Break their legs if necessary. Because if you don’t, they are just going to recover and come after you.

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5) If Someone Gives You a Protective Charm Do Not Give It Away

I have mentioned this in Dracula (1931), The Mummy (1932), The Wolf Man (1941), Scream 2 (1997), and many more. If someone gives you some kind of charm that is supposed to help you and only work for you, DO NOT GIVE IT AWAY!!!! It will only work FOR YOU!!!! That is why it was given TO YOU!! And if you give it away you are just going to get yourself and the person you were trying to help in serious trouble. Keep it and protect yourself so that you can actually help others, instead of accidentally killing them.

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6) Sex = Death

As Randy says in Scream, Sex = Death. Never overlook the purity angle, it is like a protective charm. If you don’t do it, you are less likely to die.

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7) Doctors are Almost Always Evil

Sometimes Doctors can be good people, but if you are in a horror film, forget it; they are usually evil. Such as Dr. Hartz from The Lady Vanishes (1938), he seems kindly and trying to help, but in reality just wants the main character to think they are going crazy! Same thing in Dr. Hollingshead from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1947). Then you have doctors who commit horrible things in the name of science; like We have Dr. Frankenstein (from any Frankenstein film) who tries to create life and can’t control his monster. Or  there is Dr. Arthur Carrington from The Thing From Another World (1951), who almost kills everyone as he doesn’t care about human life but scientific discovery is what matters. Not to mention Dr. Alfred Brandon from I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957), who experiments on teenage boy. And lets not forget Dr. Hannibal Lecter, who eats people. I could go on, but there are too many examples to choose from.

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8) Do Not Spend the Night in an Abandoned or Haunted House, Psychiatric Hospital, or Carnival

I mean seriously. Just do not go there. Nothing good will ever, ever, ever come of it! I mean look at The Uninvited (1944), House on Haunted Hill (1959), House on Haunted Hill (1999), The Hunting (1963), The Haunting (1999), etc. I could go on and on, but let’s continue with our list.

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9) If There is a Curse on Something Do Not Touch It

I know curses, many laugh at them; but of you are in a horror film and you see something that says it is cursed DON’T TOUCH IT! It is better to live another day then to have yourself face all kinds of horrors.

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10) Do Not Drink Any Potions or Test An Experiment On Yourself

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER test a potion or try an experiment on yourself. It always ends badly! I mean you have Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, The Fly, Batman’s Man-Bat he had to fight, even Goosebumps did an episode where the dad ended up creating a plant clone of himself. I know many don’t like animal testing or get under the stress of trying to accomplish something; but just stop! Don’t test yourself or else something bad will be created.

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11) If There is a Murderer Running Around, Do Not Go Out and Party

This drives me crazy! A murderer is running around killing people and people decide to: 1) not take any precautions; 2) go about their lives like nothing is different; and 3) party. If there is a murderer running around, yes it is good to be in a group (rule 12 & 17) but you shouldn’t be out partying, drinking (rule 13) or putting yourself in a dangerous situation.

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12) Never Split Up

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NEVER, EVER, EVER go anywhere by yourself. There is power in numbers! As a group you could take a killer down, versus as a couple or single. When you split up, all you do us make it easier for someone to kill you.

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13) Do Not Do Drugs or Drink

While some of you might enjoy that type of thing it is never a good idea in a horror film. Anytime you try something that will keep you from thinking clearly, you are in serious trouble as you are likely to make bad decisions that will lead to your death. It is better to just say no.

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14) Always Call the Police

If you are being attacked, threatened, harassed, etc.; call the police. Don’t try and take care of it yourself, don’t try to investigate, call FOR BACKUP! That’s their job!!! They have guns and can make an arrest!

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15) Never Say “I’ll Be Right Back”

Unlike the Terminator here, you won’t be back. Uttering these words is signing a death warrant, as soon as they leave your lips you become next on the killer/creature’s hit list.

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16) Never Say “Who’s There?”

Killer Scary Movie

Never say “who’s there”. If the person was a friend, they wouldn’t be skulking around your house in the first place, trying to scare you. Instead they would knock, ring the doorbell, or call out to you. The only type of person who would be creeping in your house is one who intends on harming you. And if you call out “who’s there”, you’re just helping them find and kill you faster.

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17) Do Not Go Out to Investigate a Strange Noise

When you hear something strange outside, do not go out and look into it. You should wait for assistance or call in the police. If you try looking yourself, you are going to end up in a trap set by a monster, psychopath, murderer, etc. Besides, why unlock the door or turn off the alarm; allowing whatever is watching you the opportunity to come in and attack? Just stay inside snug like a bug.

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18) Do Not Use the Bathroom

Have you ever though of how vulnerable you are in the bathroom? Most have no windows to flee from or they aren’t the most accessible. Some do, but for most the only easy way out is the door, which is where most attackers will come through. Plus the reason you would be in the bathroom; shower or toilet, you won’t have any weapons to help you and it would be extremely easy to kill you. If you are in a horror film, just hold it or stay stinky. You are more likely to live that way.

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19) Never Go Off By Yourself

Like I said before, the less people around you, the easier you are to kill. If you go off on your own to investigate, look around, run away; you are just putting a giant target on your back. Stay together, it is safer.

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20) Always Look Behind You and Above You

Always take a 360 degree look around you. They may be behind, they may be in front, they may even be above you. Search every angle!!!

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21) Be Nice, A Person Scorned or Mistreated Can Do Horror-ble Things

In horror movies, there are lots of people who have been bullied so much and hurt by others they end up becoming homicidal maniacs. And who do they tend to attack first? The last person to hurt them. Look at The Phantom of the Opera (any version), Carrie (1976), Hangman’s Curse (2003), Heathers (1985), etc. So if you don’t want to end up being first on the hit list be kind to those you meet.

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22) If You Are a Girl Or Not White, Be Extra Cautious

Psychopaths and monsters love to kill/eat women and minorities. Because of this if you are either, or both; take extra steps to protect yourself. Be like Ben in Night of the Living Dead.

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23) Don’t Trust Anyone, They Are All Suspects

People can tell you all kinds of things, but that doesn’t mean they are telling the truth. If you find yourself in a horror film, don’t trust anyone. And I mean ANYONE!

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24) Never Judge a Book By its Cover

Never judge a book by its cover. Someone who seems sweet, innocent, impossible to commit cruel acts, etc; could secretly have evil intentions lurking under the adorable facade. Always be watchful and once again, trust NO ONE!

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25) Children can Be Evil too, Never Rule Them Out

When trying to figure out who the murderer is, never overlook kids. I mean sure some will be obvious in their creepiness, such as the one pictured above, but there are many who look innocent and sweet but are actually evil. Don’t be fooled!

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26) Never Try to Create Life

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER try to create Life. It just does not go the way you plan. You can’t control the beasts you create and they just run amuck everywhere. I mean look at FrankensteinBride of Frankenstein, Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, Alien: Resurrection, the list goes on but I’ll stop here.

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27) Never Try to Control a Monster

In any horror film, whenever they create  life they always think they have complete control over it. Well, that never works out. You see, just because you made it doesn’t mean it will listen to you; every parent knows that. And more often than not, those creations will try and kill you.

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28) If Someone Tries to Make a Deal with You to Kill Someone, Do Not Think it is a Joke

Joking around with the idea of murder might be something you would do with a friend, but be careful, you never know how far they might take it.

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29) Listen to Urban Myths, They Tend to be Right

We all like to hear scary stories around a campfire and about areas. But if you are in a horror film, play very close attention as more often than not, the myths and legends turn out to be true or someone is copying them and making them true. It is always good to pay attention and know the details, it just might save your life.

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30) Never Think You Have Destroyed a Monster, They Always Find a Way to Come Back

You try to kill them and you think you do, but they always come back. Always make sure you keep an eye out for the sequel and their return.

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31) Don’t Be an Idiot

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Be smart! Don’t be stupid and do stupid things. Use your common sense! Bimbos and Mimbos are almost always the first to die.

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So there we are, 31 tips to help you survive a horror film. I hope they help you survive October.

This post is brought to you by a

horrornerd

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

Keep tuned for more horror film reviews!