Riddle me this, riddle me that, who’s afraid of the big, black bat?
Every time a new Batman movie comes out everyone starts talking about which film they think is the worst of the lot, for me it will always be Batman Forever (1995).
Ugh…this film
I wasn’t originally going to review this film, but since I couldn’t get my hands on a copy of the film I wanted to review, Batman Versus the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Scooby-Doo Meets Batman, Instead I had to settle for this film.
Oh it is also the inspiration for my Jane Austen dress up this year:
There are only two thing I like about this film, Jim Carrry was an excellent choice for Edward Nygma/The Riddler and I liked the change of Robin’s suit so it isn’t bright red and green. I know a lot of people like to make fun of the latter ‘90s Batman films, but both Batman Forever and Batman and Robin updated more of the colorful costumes, something you see in the superhero films/TV shows of today like Captain America, Daredevil, etc.
Tim Burton passed on this film, with Joel Schumacher becoming the director. Along with Burton, Keaton also choose not to come back and they had to find a new Batman, with Val Kilmer getting the role. Now Kilmer is not a bad actor but I think he is terrible in this as he plays it so stiff and unemotional.
This film takes place a year after Batman Returns but isn’t a Christmas film. I. This Batman/Bruce Wayne (Kilmer) is feeling guilty as his friend Harvey Dent (who is now white and played by Tommy Lee Jones instead of Billy Dee Williams) has changed from kind, lovable, and moral lawyer to sadistic killer psychopath. Why the change? He was disfigured with acid by mobster Sal Maroni. I always wished they had gone with the Batman the Animated series versions where he already had a background of mental illness and then the something happened to magnify it.
Anyways, Batman defuses a hostage situation, meeting Arkham’s new psychoanalyst, Dr. Chase Meridan (Nicole Kidman) who is my least favorite Batman love interest. This character was not based on anything from the actual comics but created specifically for the film by screenwriters Janet and Lee Batchler. They thought it would be more interesting for him to date a psychoanalyst rather than a typical socialite. While I like the idea, I feel like this particular version of powerful woman is something men “think” is powerful but instead is just overtly sexual and has her own issues she should be focusing on before trying to assist others.
Batman/Bruce then later hasto go to Wayne Enterprises for his other job. There at Wayne Enterprises is Edward Nygma, big brain scientist who is obsessed with Bruce Wayne. When Bruce rejects his invention of trying to beam television signals into a person’s brain and influence then to make certain purchases, he becomes enraged and it is th trigger that pushes him on a chaotic and murderous path. It’s funny that Bruce is so against this, since that is essentially what most companies are doing. I mean I’m not saying they affect your brainwaves, but they are cataloging your info and trying to influence your shopping. Nygma kills his supervisor and plots to destroy Bruce.
Bruce likes the Dr. Meridian but she likes Batman. Poor guy, he’s falling victim to the Peter Parker/Black Cat scenario, when the girl finds your alter ego exciting but your real life boring. He asks her to accompany him to a charity functions and she agrees to attend. They go to the circus and watch the Flying Graysons perform. Unfortunately the night is ruined by a crazed by Two-Face who demands Batman or else he’ll blow up the whole tent. 17 year old Dick Grayson (Chris O’Donnell) the youngest of the trapeze troupe manages to disarm Two Face’s bomb and sending it into the river and saving everyone. However, his joy is short lived as a very angry Two-Face kills the rest of the Graysons in retaliation.
Bruce takes Dick in as he recognizes the pain he is in. Dick of course does what every kid would do in a mansion, he goes around looking in every room and discovers the bat cave and that Bruce is Batman. He demands they create the “dynamic duo” but Batman says no. Dick gets angry and basically goes “you’re not my father!” on him.
Dude you were taken in by a billionaire. If that was me I would not be making demands but enjoying it.
Nygma becomes the Riddler and joins forces with Two-Face. Two-Face is way more comedic in this then how I like him to be (as Two-Fave is one of my favorite Batman villains). They really try to send the “split personality” theory home with him not just having his face and suit divided, but his home and two ladies to appeal to both natures (Drew Barrymore and Debi Mazer). I’ve always felt this was way too over the top and silly. Two-Face was a really interesting and complex character and both film portrayals of him were terrible.
Team Two-Face and Riddler commit a series of robberies, the money Riddler funnels into his brainwave project creating the “Box”, which steals information from users’ minds.
Nygma throws a big party and steals info from people (again what happens today wow this movie was ahead of the times), discovering Batman’s secret identity and almost killing Bruce (before he knows he is Batman). Luckily Dick saves the day.
Dr. Chase turns on the bat signal and tries to seduce Batman, propositioning him, but he refuses her. Later he goes to her office as Batman, but she rejects him as she is in love with Bruce.
Are you really? I mean all your conversations have been you being rude to him, talking over him, and basically treating him as if he was a buffoon.
With the info about Batman the dastardly duo blow up his house/batcave and kidnap Dr. Meridian. Bruce and Alfred deduce who is behind this (Nygma), Bruce has Duck/Robin be his partner, an they save the day.
At the end they have captured Nygma but he’s lost his mind and Batman’s secret is safe forever.
So even though this film is Batman Forever, Val Kilmer did not stay Batman Forever, as he didn’t get for the bat suit and in the final film was replaced by George Clooney. Dr. Meridan also didn’t turn out to be a “forever” relationship as in the next film they are broken up.
The film is not as interesting as the previous two (or I’d argue the latter one) which is sad as there was a lot that could have been done with the characters. It’s definitely my least favorite of all the Batman films.
So Horrorfest V is reaching it’s last few weeks and could there be something missing?
I’ve already done an animated film like always, a Disney film, and Alfred Hitchcock. All things that have become staples every year. Now who could be missing?
A Stephen King film!!
Yes, it is time to review a Stephen King film. Not a Horrorfest has gone by without me reviewing one of his films, so here we go.
Every breath you take…I’ll be watching you
I had never seen this film before, but my friend really wanted to watch it as she loves ’80s films and was a horror film mood. Aren’t we all?
The film is actually based on three Stephen King short stories, with the only thing pulling them all together is a cat.
So the first third of the film is based on the short story Quitters, Inc. First we see our stray cat wandering the streets. It goes to a store window and sees a little girl mannequin. This changes into a vision of a real girl (Drew Barrymore) who is calling for the cat to come and save her. I guess it is another child with powers, those come up a lot in Stephen King films.
The cat gets captured by a guy who works for Quitters Inc. He takes the cat back to headquarters, where Dick Morrison is being dropped off. Now you might not recognize the actor’s face, James Wood, but you will defintely recognize his voice as Hades from Hercules.
Dick has been a long time smoker and his friend advised using the agency, Quitters Inc. to finally stop his habit. He’s given paperwork to fill out, but finds it hard to as the man next to him is hysterically crying.
His wife comes out with her clothes all messed up and looking like she has had a hard time. She is furious with her husband, blaming him, but he quiets her down and tells Dick she is having her second treatment.
Dick thinks the whole thing smells.
And he decides to leave, but before he can go he is stopped by Dr. Vinnie Donatti. He brings him into his office and explains their 100% success rate.
That poor CAT!!! I just wanted to run in and grab him, save him.
It’s okay I have you.
So yes the first offense will be James’ wife “cat room”, not too much but there will be shocking. The second offense will be his daughter in the “cat room”, third offense someone will rape his wife, and the fourth offense will be his death.
What a psychopath. A sadistic one too.
So Dick quits cold turkey and goes home. He acts like a real bear because his addiction is gnawing at him. He tries his hardest, but can’t sleep. That night he heads downstairs and starts looking for a cigarette.
When he gets downstairs, he hears a noise coming from the closet.
He grabs an umbrella and throws it at the closet, hearing an umpf. Quickly he tosses his cigarette away and takes his golf clubs out, pretending that was the whole reason he was in the office.
The next day Dick goes to visit his daughter, Alisha (Drew Barrymore) who has down syndrome and lives at a school. He brings her a doll, but sees that Dr. Donatti is watching him. Dr. Donatti warns him that his people will always be watching.
In fact, just that morning a jogger was around his house, but he wasn’t really a jogger as no jogger wears oxfords. Yes look out Dick, they are everywhere.
So Dick has been doing good for two weeks. He then goes to a party and he is the only one not smoking. The next day when he gets stuck in traffic, he finds a cigarette in the glove box and smokes it, confident no one is watching.
Majorly
The guy in the car next to him is a Quitters, Inc. agent and speeds off to report him as soon as the traffic clears. Dick tries to race home and when he gets there he finds it ransacked and his wife missing.
He runs to Quitters, Inc. and sure enough there is his wife in the cat box. Dick tries to fight with the two men and get his wife free. His confrontation frees our stray cat from his cage and he goes running off.
I’m getting out of here
Dick, however, is forced to stay and watch his wife be tortured.
Afterwards, Dick explains everything and his promise to not give into temptation and hurt his family again. I just think why didn’t they go to the police? He never signed a release form and two people will be giving testimony.
I mean, seriously.
So weeks pass and Dick has been doing great, only one problem; he’s been gaining weight. It is common after quitting an addiction, and Dick feels okay about it.
However, Quitters, Inc says that he needs to lose weight or else they will cut off his wife’s pinky finger.
A few days later, Dick and his wife are having dinner with a family friend, the same one who advised him to join Quitters, Inc. They are having a great time until Dick realizes his friend’s wife is missing the top of her pinky finger.
That means that his friendknew what was going to happen. He sent him there and new the horrors he would face. What a-
I would dump that friend and never speak to them again. And that ends our first story.
The second section comes from the short story, The Ledge. The cat and the viewers have traveled from New York to New Jersey, Atlantic City to be exact, as he continues to look for the girl in the vision. Here the cat is trying to cross a busy intersection when he is spotted by Cressner, casino owner and very powerful man. He spots the cat and bets that he will make it across without injury, while his friend thinks the cat will be killed.
All I can think:
Poor cat. They are so cruel to you.
The cat does manage to make it and Cressner takes him home; telling his two rough guys to “get him”
Who?
Meanwhile, gambler and tennis pro, Johnny Norris has been seeing Cressner’s estranged wife. He sends her away on her own as he has a few things to take care of and wants her safe from her crazy husband. As soon as she boards the bus, Johnny is beat up and taken.
He is brought to Cressner’s penthouse and Cressner tells him that he has planted heroin in his car and is going to call the cops on him. However, he will make one deal and if Johnny can do it he will get “money,the girl, the gold watch, the car, and everything.” All Johnny has to do is walk around his ledge without falling off, if he does, he’s dead.
Johnny sees no other way and agrees. However, as he starts to move around, Cressner does everything in his power to try and get him to fall off; playing a trumpet, shooting him with a fire hose, etc.
Ahhh!
He finally makes it around and back inside. Cressner gives him a bag full of money, but there is one extra item. His wife’s head.
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cressner gets ready to kill Johnny too, when Johnny, angry and horrified, lunges toward him trying to knock them over. The cat joins in, causing some to trip and allows Johnny to get the gun. The cat then takes off while Johnny shoots the goon and train the gun on Cressner.
Cressner promises him anything, anything at all, just let him live. But that is not good enough for Johnny.
Instead he forces Cressner to do the same challenge he did. And Cressner isn’t as lucky.
SPLAT!
We then come to the third installment, General. The cat has finally made it to the little girl who has been calling him the whole time in Wilmington, North Carolina. However, the girl doesn’t act like she has been calling him, so why was that in it earlier?
So the little girl, Amanda, wants to keep the cat, calling him General, but her mom hates cats. She especially doesn’t want him in the house and throws him out at night. However, General knows he needs to protect Amanda and tries to find a way inside.
Meanwhile, in Amanda’s room a portion of the wall opens up and a troll appears. He kills Amanda’s bird and tries to go after her, when General manages to get through the window and save her, getting stabbed in the process.
The next day, General is kicked out of the house as “he killed polly” the parrot. General lies about injured, the husband discovering it and commenting on it to the wife; but she doesn’t care. She thinks General should die for what he did. She captures him and drops him off at the animal shelter, telling lies so that he is euthanized that night.
That poor cat. I would take good care of you.
Poor cat. They are so cruel to you.
That night the troll comes out and tries to kill Amanda, taking her breath away. General manges to escape, run back to the house, and kill the troll in the weirdest way. He traps him on the record playing Every Breath You Take, and sends him shooting into the fan, cutting him up into a million pieces.
I mean, seriously.
The parents come in and realize there daughter was telling the truth about seeing a troll and decide to keep General to protect her.
So that was Cat’s Eye, first of all it made ZERO sense!!! I mean who decided to put this together? It is just strung along and is just kind of dumb. I mean if they has made the cat a more crucial character and also gave a reason to why Drew Barrymore was calling the cat it would have been better. But mostly-
The first story was the best, but the other two were just dumb. It really isn’t worth watching.
You forgot the first rule of remakes, Jill. Don’t f*** with the original!
If only Wes had followed his own advice.
I wish they hadn’t messed with the original. This movie sucked.
Just plain horrible. You see this all happened because everyone wanted to make another film after Scream 3. Wes told them he wouldn’t, unless the script was as good as the original film. Unfortunately, those dunderheads thought that meant they needed to do a horrible remake of the first amazing film.
For those of you just tuning in, this is the last of our Screamtastic Saturdays. Every Saturday this month I reviewed one of the Scream films. To read about them before you start this one, go to Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3.
Now as you can tell I didn’t enjoy this one. As I watched this film I took a lot of notes on my feelings, A LOT. I’m just going to write them verbatim.
So let’s get started on this travesty…
I don’t wanna
So the film starts out with two girls (Lucy Hale and Shenae Grimes) hanging out discussing horror films and stuff. One of them has a facebook stalker. It turns out to be ghostface who stabs and kills them both.
Ghostface attacks!
Victims 1&2
But wait…
It turns out that its not real. It is the opening scene from the film Stab 6 that two girls are watching. (Anna Paquin and Kristen Bell).
So that’s the first problem of this film. It was so dripped in big name actors that it was impossible to get into. I mean the original had famous actors too, but this was tooooo jam packed. It’s too much, far too much.
So Anna Paquin talks too much during the movie that Kristen Bell kills her.
I know Kristen Bell? Whatever.
Body #3
Just kidding
Yep, it’s just another fakeout. It’s Stab 7 that Julie from Friday Night Lights, I mean Jenny (Aimee Teagarden) and her friend Marnie are watching. After that Jenny goes upstairs to get something, and instead prank calls her friend. The “real” Ghostface comes in and kills Marnie, with Jenny right behind her.
Victim 4 & 5
And here we have another garage scene that is improbable. I’m telling you, any automatic garage door will not be able to kill someone. They design the mechanisms so that if there is something underneath them, it will cause them to be incapable of being squished.
Duh!
And the other problem with this scene is the fact that having two fakeouts was too many. After the two psych-outs, I was not attached to the characters as I was just expecting them to die. It wasn’t scary, mysterious, funny, or good. It was just bad. Bad, bad, bad. Plain ol’ lazy writing. Come on Wes, you’re better than this. This is reverting back not evolving.
So this film, and the first scene, take place 10 years after “The Woodsboro Massacre” or the amazing phenomenon known as Scream. Deputy Dewey is now Sheriff and married to Gale Weathers. Gale has stopped reporting and turned to writing fiction. Sidney has written a book on her experiences and is on tour. In fact, she has just arrived in Woodsboro. And Randy is dead.
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
Still not over that.
We then see the horrible Emma Roberts getting picked up for school. I hate Emma Roberts. She has no talent whatsoever. She always seems as if she is acting, so I never believe that she is whatever “character” she is playing. She’s like a block of wood. I think she is secretly a robot as she never gives any emotion. None whatsoever. She’s proof that just because one family member has talent, doesn’t mean the rest do.
I bet she is the killer. She’s all I hate Sidney. Blah, blah blah…
Anyways, Jill (Emma Roberts) is being picked up by her friends Kirby (Hayden Panettiere) and Olivia (Marielle Jaffe). Now who are these girls trying to fool? There is no way these girls are in high school they look sooo OLD.
I mean Roberts could pass for 19 at the youngest, but Panettiere and Jaffe? They are clearly are late 20s heading for their thirties. I’m looking it up now…let’s see…Roberts was 20 at the time, Panettiere was 22, and Jaffee was also 22. Okay so they weren’t as old as I thought they were, although they look it. I mean it’s laughable how they think they could pass off people so old as high school students.
Jill and Olivia receive texts from Jenny and Marnie, even though they aren’t close friends or anything…and the two girls are dead (although no one has discovers it yet. Speaking of which where were the parents during all of this? Why weren’t they with their kid? How come it took someone so long to discover the body? Come on now!)
Wes also has a love affair in this film with fake jumps. It’s like every five seconds. Seriously, just stop.
At the station Sheriff Dewey gets called on the scene and I notice something here Wes. Yes…yes…it appears that Dewey no longer suffers from a limp. I see, I see. Dewey gets to be limp free WHILE RANDY IS DEAD??!!
Never letting that one go. Moving on.
So Sheriff Dewey is called on the scene and he knows, he just knows
RIP Randy! Love you forever!!!!!!!
So as Sheriff Dewey is looking around, one of his deputies calls him Sheriff Riley. And I was like Whaaaaaaat????? Dewey has a last name?
Sorry. Back to the film.
So then we zoom to the high school were we have Hollywood’s version of high school students. You know horribly unrealistic and clichéd to the farthest ranges of the imagination. Because in Hollywood:
Yep, enter super nerd who has a computer hooked up to his headphones so he can blog every moment of his life.
Really Wes? Have you been to a school and seen real nerds? They don’t dress like that or do that? I mean when Ned’s Declassified did the Nerd has camera/computer hooked up to their glasses they did it to spoof. They weren’t trying to portray the nerd/online/blogger culture. You fail. Big time.
Duh!
So then we enter douche boy, Jill’s ex-boyfriend. I mean this is some serious deja vu as he ex is a total creep. I guess douche dating runs in the family.
So during homeroom, everyone’s cellphones buzz with the news. I’m just like, why wasn’t the school notified? When I was in high school we had two deaths. One was a car crash, the other an overdose and the teachers were all immediatey notified before the friends even found out. Same thing in college when a guy committed suicide, and another guy jumped off his balconey as he was high and had a bad trip. Although in college they sent emails and texts to the students, while in high school they told us.
At the bookstore, Sidney is reading an excerpt from her book when Sheriff Dewey comes marching in. He interrupts the signing as they are tracking the phone that placed the calls. They discover it in the back of Sidney’s rental, along with bloody handprints.
Back at the station, Sheriff Dewey s dealing with a lot. Gale comes down as her old investigative spirit is still alive. She encounters a huge prob though. Dewey’s deputy, Deputy Judy, has a mondo crush on Dewey. But Gale, she’s not having any of that.
I love that Gale is still kickin’ butt.
So Sheriff Dewey decides to put Sidney on 24-hour police protection, and all I can think is do you remember what happend last time? Yeah, it did not end well.
You know what almost everyone in this film has drunk the kool-aid. I know that Wes wanted to provide a wide range of “suspects” (totally obvious Jill and Culkin brother/crazy film nerd guy). But he makes everyone seem CRAZY!!! Jill’s ex, the deputy, and that’s not all. Let’s add Sidney’s publicist who delights in the murders because it will sell more books. She actually hopes more will occur. And then we have Sidney’s aunt Kate. “Nobody cares about the fact that it was MY sister that was killed or what I’VE been going through.
So at this point in the film I’m starting to wonder what happened to Patrick Dempsey? AKA Detective Mark Kincaid. I guess he was too busy being a doctor or maid of honor. Let’s see…Yes to doctor, no to maid of honor. He was trying to protect a bank teller and working with Decepticons. I wish they had given us a clue as why they didn’t stay together. I liked Mark.
Later that evening, Sidney goes to talk to Jill and you know what..how come we have never heard of this aunt and niece before? I mean they have lived in the town their whole life and not once was concerned with Sidney? Like why didn’t she stay with her aunt when he dad was out of town? This Wes, is why you do not try and remake a good thing. Just leave well enough alone.
So Sidney goes in to talk to Jill and sees her creep ex climbing in her window trying to talk to her. He’s extra creepy and weird calling himself “the ninja”. Who nicknames themselves? He is also a total control freak and won’t listen to “no”. What a jerk.
That night Kirby comes over and she and Jill are watching scary movies. Kirby gets a call from Ghostface that he’s hiding in the closet. She decides to be stupid and looks around, finding no one. Like this guy KILLED people. Maybe you should CALL THE POLICE!!!!
The voice says that he never stated which closet he was in.
Now the house next door is Olivia’s who is home alone (of course). The police offered to walk her to her home but she refused and like the stupid caricatures they are, they agreed. I just realized that policeman in the Scream films are pretty stupid. Dewey and Mark being the exception. I mean SHE RECIEVED A DEATH THREAT FROM GHOSTFACE EARLIER!!!! WHY IS NO ONE PROTECTING HER!!! So of course, Ghostface is in her closet and kills her.
Victim 6
And her friends just watch.
Seriously, they DO NOTHING BUT WATCH THEIR FRIEND GET SLICED APART. Scream! Call the police!!! Do something!!!!
Sid hears it and rushes over to help. Now Sid I love you, but couldn’t you have brought a weapon with you? How do you expect to save the girl if you have nothing. I mean come on, grab a bat, frying pan, knife, SOMETHING!!!
Sid does manage to take him down as she rules! But when the cops come he’s disappeared? Who is he Michael Myers? How does he move so fast? I mean they did the same thing in Scream 2.
Why weren’t the cops able to find him? WHY DOES EVERYONE SUCK??? THIS MOVIE IS HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE I TELL YOU!!! CRAVEN YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME AGAIN! IT’S LIKE NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET ALL FREAKIN’ OVER AGAIN!!!
Not happy, not happy at all
Gale seduces the two nerds to get them to help her. At first I thought it was funny, but the more I think about it, it’s creepy. I know on Cougar Townyou are always with younger men, but this is a 47 year old woman hitting on 17 year olds.
PR girl is the devil. I am sorry but the way she gushes about the killings, she needs help.
So after she leaves from visiting Sidney in the hospital (minor cut) she runs into Ghostface and is killed.
Victim #7
Now to be honest its her own fault as she really shouldn’t be walking around at night by herself with a killer on the loose. And what’s really stupid was that she was by her car. Just get in and drive away, run him over. Instead she tries to run. DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB. I mean come on, you were sitting inside the car! Why would you ever take off?
You know what I just realized. so far the killer has only murdered women. What’s up with that? In the other films it was always equal. How come you’re just killing women Wes? Huh? Why? You know what else? In every film we have couples who are murdered first. Scream– Steve and Casey, Scream 2– Boyfriend and Jada Pinket-Smith, & Scream 3– Cotton’s girlfriend and Cotton. But in this one its only been girls. There’s a formula!
But now, we only have females murdered. What happened Wes, did you have a woman break your heart so now you are releasing your anger on females?
And you know what’s really depressing about this film is that it lost everything. It isn’t a horror parody and a horror film at the same time; It’s just sad and boring. You can tell from the beginning who the killers are (Jill & Charlie [Culkin brother super nerd]). It’s just a recycled plot. A poorly recycled one too.
I mean each previous Scream brought something new and fresh.
Scream
Parody of the Horror film Genre while still being a great horror film
Twist ending with two killers, and one being the boyfriend.
Obsession with horror films and trying to create their own
Revenge because his mother left.
Scream 2
Parody of sequel films and horror sequels
Debates issue if whether horror films turn people into killers
Twist ending where you think it is the boyfriend murdering, but really ex’s mom
Female serial killer
Scream 3
Parody of trilogy films
Twist ending with mother’s secret early life + half brother
Single killer this time
All the survivors end in a couple-Dewey & Gale, Mark & Sid
Scre4m
Recycled plot
Pop culture of the day inserted but it feels more like an old man trying to be “hip” and failing than avant-garde.
They waited far too long to make this film. It should have come sooner.
So the next day Gale gets Sidney to come speak at the film club at the high school. In return for this, the two geek boys Charlie (the Culkin brother) and his friend blogger- headphones, Robbie, will help her out. Gale thinks the new Ghostface is copying the murders, but the nerd twins point out that it is a remake “as only remakes are being made these days.” Tru dat. In 2011 alone there was Silent House, Gnomeo & Juliet, The Green Hornet, The Roommate, The Mechanic, Just Go With It, Unknown, Jane Eyre, Winnie the Pooh, Arthur, X-Men: First Class, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Fright Night, Conan the Barbarian, Real Steel, Straw Dogs, The Thing, Footloose, The Muppets, and The Sitter.
The kids tell Gale & Sidney that if the killer wants to make it intense and new he is going to record the murders. That’s not new, it’s been happening for quite so time now. Just another ripoff.
They decide the next place he will strike is the annual Stab-a-thon. Now you have a killer running about and you refuse to stop your party? Definteky Charlie. He’s the killer. I mean come on, any smart person would be like nope, let’s stop this so people don’t die.
So a bunch of the kids dress up in Ghostface masks which is incredibly stupid. I mean you have a KILLER IN THE GHOSTFACE MASK? Why is everyone so STUPID.
Ugh
Gale goes there just like in the first film and hooks up some “secret cameras”. The cameras get covered up and Gale calls Dewey before she goes into take care of them. Now the smart thing would be to just wait as it is obvious that Ghostface is the one doing it, but whatever! I mean like even if you feel like you HAVE to go, why not be extra cautious and take a weapon! I mean, come on now people. She goes and is stabbed by the killer, however, she’s Gale so she just has to go to hospital. That’s cause Gale is awesome.
I just want this film to be over. It is that painful.
So I am liking nobody in this film. Like every character is crazy or stupid. The only exceptions are Gale, Sid, Dewey, and Aimee Teagarden’s character as she tried to run away. Even though I think Emma Roberts is the killer I want her to get stabbed so I won’t have to see her face again this film and hear her horrible acting voice.
Duh!
So back at the house Sidney sees something outside. She goes to take a look at it instead of CALLING THE POLICE! Come on Sid, you’re better than that.
So the cops outside Kate/Jill/Sid’s residence are all comedic and talking about movie cops. They say that cops are what you never want to be as they are always “getting it” in films. Uh, not true! What about Dirty Harry? Ain’t nobody taking down Clint Eastwood. Or what about Patrick Dempsey in Scream 3, I mean Wes you freakin’ made that film. Witness? Harrison Ford always dominates! Sidney Poitier In the Heat of the Night or They Call Me, Mr. Tibbs! Mark Wahlberg in The Departed? Die Hard?
Besides why would the black cop be worried that since he is a cop he’s going to killed? He’s got bigger worries, he’s a minority. He’s going to get killed for that. The only horror films I’ve ever seen where the minority doesn’t get killed first and makes it to the end would be Night of the Living Dead and Aliens vs. Predator.
They both get killed.
Victim #8 & 9
I was actually happy about that as they were annoying.
So someone in this film finally wises up, as Sid grabs a knife to protect her. Ghostface comes and attacks. Yawn! Knew it was going to happen. There is NOTHING original in this film, NOTHING!!!! Wes you have failed, fAILED FAILED FAILED!!!!!!!!!!!
So Kate also gets killed, she was stabbed through a door.
Is it over yet? Is the film done yet? Boo. There’s still 30 mins left! UGH, UGH, BLEH! I would stop watching like a did with An American Werewolf in London, but I promised full reviews of every Scream film and I can’t go back on that.
So Sidney escapes. She starts to head next door to protect Jill.
Next door we have Jill, Kirby, Robbie, & Charlie watching horror films.
So why don’t any of these kids feel remorse for the murdered people? I mean in Scream the main characters weren’t close to Steve and Casey (except Stu) so I could see where it didn’t make the biggest impact. But Sid started feeling when it was Tatum, Dewey, Gale, etc. In Scream 2, the girl in the film class was sad about her friend that was murdered in the movie theater and everyone is heartbroken over Randy.
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
Then in Scream 3 Cotton’s death, and while the characters didn’t know the movie stars, they were still sad to see them killed. I mean Olivia was their friend as she was MURDERED!!! And you know how they react? Jill in her monotone voice is fine and doesn’t say anything. Kirby goes to the Stab-a-thon in sa freakin’ ghostface mask. A GHOSTFACE MASK! I mean your friend was MURDERED, MUREDERED! And you are wearing the thing that killer wore to murder to your friend. Something is wrong with you all.
And you know what, that is the problem with this film. In the other versions you believed the actors were the characters. You believed them. In this film every character except for the 3 survivors are so fake. They have any real emotions. They don’t have any real reactions. They are like robots or something.
Why is everyone dumb in this movie? This movie is horrible and stupid! Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb! OMG! it’s LIKE HE WANTS TO MAKE A SUCKY VERSION OF AN AMAZING FILM! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? WHY? WHY? WHO GAVE HIM THE MONEY. You all should be held accountable for this!!!!
Is this too crazy?
This is film is a HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT! BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the group is hanging out. Trevor comes over as he says Jill invited him. She tells them that is impossible as her phone has been missing. Jill goes upstairs and Trevor follows her. While he is gone, Robbie gets drunk and heads outside for another blog post. When he does this we have the only real scare in the film. He runs into a plant. That’s it folks, so far the plant has been the most scariest and original thing in this travesty. And that’s not even that original.
Back inside, Kirby is trying to seduce Charlie in the most horrible and painful way. It hurt to watch this scene. It was awkward, it was stupid, and it would never happen that way in real life.
You know what I’m wondering now? Where are the parents? Come on now, is Jill the only one in town with a parent? They are completely absent! At least in Scream they explaned it. Casey’s parents were out having dinner. Mr. Prescott was going out of town. Mrs. Riley (Dewey & Tatum’s mom) is a single parent. Stu’s parents don’t care and are out of town all the time. Mr. Loomis works late hours and has recently become a single parent. I get that, although they should have done a better job. Scream 2, in college parents aren’t there., although I’m really surprised not one of them came down to check on their kids. Scream 3 all are adults. But these kids have no parents anywhere, nor do they give an explanation except for Olivia She mentions that her mom works late. Its like this whole film is in an alternate dimension where reality plays no part at all. I mean I know its a movie, but explain! Movie EXPLAIN!!!
So this film is far too predictable. You know Robbie who is hanging outside is going to be killed first, then Kirby, then Trevor, and then Charlie. It is soooo obvious.
This is horrible. Why am I watching this? Why?
So Robbie of course is killed, and too his shock as he thinks being gay will save him. I thought that was a weird thing to say. I mean, I can’t think of horror films where a gay person always survive. I mean technically he’s in the minority category and we all know that minorities hardly ever make it to the end of a horror film.
Victim #11
Before Kirby and Charlie could get it on, Trevor comes downstairs. He couldn’t find Jill upstairs. He and Charlie head to the kitchen, leaving Kirby alone in the living room. Jill comes from downstairs, now how the heck was she there? (I mean obvs to me she’s the killer, but why doesn’t anyone else think that weird?) Sidney runs into the house to warn everyone. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF YOU HAD CALLED THE POLICE FOR BACKUP. Kirby goes down to the basement, while Jill and Sidney go upstairs. Jill hides under the bed.
That is the worse place to hide. Beds and closets are always checked first.
Sidney comes down to the basement with Kirby and they see Charlie. He wants them to let him in, but Kirby is unsure whether or not she can trust him. Ghostface grabs him and ties him to a chair. Ghostface then calls Kirby.
The two are going to play a game. Kirby wins, Charlie is free.
The Voice: I hear you like horror movies, Kirby. But do you like them as much as him? Forget watching Stab, instead you get to live it.
Kirby Reed: No. No, no, no, no. He’s the expert. It’s not me.
The Voice: Warm up question: Jason’s weapon?
Kirby Reed: Uh,it’s a machete.
The Voice: There. You see? You do know the genre. Michael Myers?
Kirby Reed: Uh, butcher knife.
The Voice: Leatherface?
Kirby Reed: [crying] Chainsaw! Please!
The Voice: Just ask Sidney if you need some help. Freddy Krueger?
Kirby Reed: Razor-hands.
The Voice: Name the movie that started the slasher craze: Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Last House on the Left or Psycho?
Kirby Reed: Psycho.
The Voice: None of the above! Peeping Tom, 1960, directed by Michael Powell. First movie to ever put the audience in the killer’s POV.
Kirby Reed: Wait. No, no, no. Please, just ask me one more question. Just one more.
The Voice: Alright, Kirby, then it’s time for your last chance. Name the remake of the groundbreaking horror movie in which the vill…
Kirby Reed: Halloween, uh, Texas Chainsaw, Dawn of the Dead, The Hills Have Eyes, Amityville Horror, uh, Last House on the Left, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street, My Bloody Valentine, When A Stranger Calls, Prom Night, Black Christmas, House of Wax, The Fog, Piranha. It’s one of those, right? Right?
[silence]
Kirby Reed: I got it right. I was fucking right. [goes outside; unties Charlie] Don’t worry, Charlie. I f****** won. I won. He tried to beat me but I f****** won.
Charlie Walker:[holding knife] Kirby? This is is making a move! [stabs her] Four years of class together and you notice me now? You stupid b****! It’s too late! Shhh, I know. It doesn’t happen as fast as it does in the movies, I know.
[finishes stabbing her and drops her; runs away]
Yep Kirby is dead.
Victim #12
And Charlie was the killer. Totally obvious.
Duh!
So deputy Judy comes into play as she discovers Kate’s body and the dead cops. She heads over to Kirby’s house to check on everyone. I still want to punch her crazy-obsessed with Dewey face.
Does that make me a bad person?
So Sidney is being chased by Charlie and manages to escape him heading for the door. But Sid, don’t forget, except for Scream 3 there are always two killers. And as she heads for the door…boom Jill stabs her.
Now if Wes wanted to make this really unique. He should have down a group of female killers. It is rare, but does happen. Olivia, Kirby, and Jill. Or deputy Judy. She could be doing all these murders just so she could kill Gale and get Sheriff Dewey. Or he could have not tried making a remake. That would have been fantastic!.
So the two totally obvious killers start revealing the reasoning behind it. Jill was always jealous of her cousin’s fame. And as Emma Roberts…I mean Jill has no talent, she figures this is the quickest way to make her famous.
Jill Roberts: My friends? What world are you living in? I don’t need friends. I need fans. Don’t you get it? This has never been about killing you? It’s about becoming you. I mean, for f***’s sake, my own mother had to die, no great loss there, so I could stay true to the original. That’s sick, right? Well, sick is the new sane. You had your 15 minutes, now I want mine! I mean, what am I supposed to do? Go to college? Grad school? Work? Look around. We all live in public now, we’re all on the Internet. How do you think people become famous any more? You don’t have to achieve anything. You just gotta have f***** up-s*** happen to you. So you have to die, Sid. Those are the rules. New movie, new franchise. There’s only room for one lead, and let’s face it, your ingenue days, they’re over.
Charlie was her new boyfriend that was helping her do this. They plan to have Trevor take the fall for it, stabbing themselves, but shooting him to make it look like “self-defense”. Charlie is happy that the “geek will get the girl”, but Jill tells him sorry and kills him.
Victim #13
You know what I just realized. They never clean the knife. Ever. With all those kids having sex and the amount of diseases that abound, now all I can think is how they’ve been spreading so much to people. They’ve all probably got Chlamydia or something.
Also WHERE ARE THE POLICE!!!??? I mean deputy Judy was right next door!!!
So then Jill kills Trevor and Sidney.
Victim #14 &15
After that she starts taking care of the evidence. Planting the knife/gun. Beating /mutilating herself. Even ripping hair out and putting it in Trevor’s hand.
When the police finally come, they discover her and name her the sole survivor. They cart her off to the hospital. In the hospital Dewey visit Jill, who is all smiles. I have to say nobody is freaked out by the fact she doesn’t care that her best friends, mother, and cousin have all been brutally murdered???!!! Someone ship her off to the psycho ward. That girl is crazy!
Jill tells Dewey that maybe she and Gale can write about the murders as they have matching wounds. Dewey tells her that Sidney might be able to also help, as she is going to recover.
Yep, looks like we have Dial “M” for Murder all over again.
“Margot Mary Wendice: Do you really believe in the perfect murder?
Mark Halliday: Mmm, yes, absolutely. On paper, that is. And I think I could, uh, plan one better than most people; but I doubt if I could carry it out.
Tony Wendice: Oh? Why not?
Mark Halliday: Well, because in stories things usually turn out the way the author wants them to; and in real life they don’t… always.”
You can’t plan everything sweetheart.
So Jill gets out of her bed and charges down to ICU to get to Sidney.
That is impossible. There is no way she would be able to get across the hospital as they are jam packed with people. Especially ICU. Most ICU units actually are protected by some kind of card swipe or button so that only certain people can go in. There’s no way she’d be able to get to Sidney.
Dewey goes to see Gale, and as he mentions Jill’s comments they both realize that the information about her stabs were not released to the public. There is no way she could have known where Gale was stabbed, unless she had done it herself.
Dewey runs down to get to Sidney, and sees Jill trying to kill her. Sidney is doing a great job as she is Awesome! Sid you rule! Jill does have an upper hand as she tries to hurt Sidney in her stab wounds. Dewey is trying to help, but gets knocked out by a bedpan. Gale and Deputy Judy also come in, but Jill stole Dewey’s gun and threatens killing Dewey to get Deputy Judy’s gun. After the gun is passed, she shoots Deputy Judy in the chest.
Victim #15
Jill is threatening all and planning on killing them but this is very stupid. She already framed Trevor and gave a statement. How is she going to explain the other dead bodies? Who can she pin the murder of Sidney, Gale, Deputy Judy, and Sheriff Dewey on. Not going to work.
Jill plans in killing Gale next, as Sidney’s wounds have reopened and she seems to be the lesser threat. She is about to when Sidney shocks her with the defibrillator.
So this Horrorfest, I am going to be doing something a little different. We are going to have “Screamtastic Saturdays”. Every Saturday in October going to be on a different Scream movie. So let’s kick it off with:
What’s your favorite scary movie?
*Spolier Alert*
So I really loved this movie. I have to say that I was originally disappointed in Wes Craven as Nightmare on Elm Streettotally tanked. This film was by far, much better. One of the coolest things about this film is that it is a parody of horror films, while still being its own horror film.
So the beginning starts off with Drew Barrymore cooking popcorn and preparing for a fun night in watching scary movies with her boyfriend. Just like When A Stranger Calls, she receives a strange phone call and is at first into it, thinking it is just a joke.
However, it quickly turns serious as the caller threatens Casey that he is going to kill her and her boyfriend, Steve.
But she has a chance at being saved, all she has to do is answer who was the killer in Friday the 13th.
“Phone Voice: Name the killer in Friday the 13th.
Casey: Jason! Jason! Jason!
Phone Voice: I’m sorry. That’s the wrong answer!
Casey: No, it’s not. No it’s not. It was Jason.
Phone Voice: Afraid not. No way.
Casey: Listen, it was Jason! I saw that movie 20 g******* times!
Phone Voice: Then you should know that Jason’s mother, Mrs. Voorhees was the original killer. Jason didn’t show up until the sequel. I’m afraid that was a wrong answer.
Casey: [Weeping] You tricked me.
Phone Voice: Lucky for you there’s a bonus round, but poor Steve… I’m afraid he’s OUT!”
Steve is murdered and Casey runs throughout the house trying to get away from the killer. Of which she doesn’t make it out and finds herself victim #1.
And thus the body count begins…
So the killing of Drew Barrymore holds two significant things. One, she was one the most famous actress in the film, and was killed first. This was supposed to be a homage to Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho (1960), in which the most famous actress of the film, Janet Leigh, was only in the movie for a short while before she was killed. This was also supposed to be a parody of Craven’s film Nightmare on Elm Street, when the first character we meet, Tina (played by Amanda Wyss), is killed. Craven also had his character Casey wear white just like Tina in Nightmare on Elm Street.
The next day, the town Woodsboro is just ravaged by reporters who are eager to find out more about this murder, especially since it occurred almost exactly a year after their little town experienced a murder just as gruesome. The murder of Maureen Prescott by Cotton Weary.
Meanwhile, Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) is trying to cope with everything that is going on.
As to be expected she is having a really hard time with the anniversary of her mother’s death. When she hears about the murders and sees the reporters crawling all over town and school, the memories of the past year come flooding back.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
One of her other big issues is her boyfriend Billy Loomis.
Okay, I just have to go off on a tangent here: Billy is sooooooooooooo creepy looking. When I first saw this I was like he is toooootally the killer. I mean LOOK AT HIM! He has killer written alllll over him. Those eyes, they are super frightening. And the way he talks? He tells Sidney that he was watching Silence of the Lambs and that made him think of her and want to come over and get ”together”. What a freak!
(BTW it is another Psycho reference. Billy Loomis is a homage to Sam Loomis, Marion Crane’s boyfriend in Psycho; and Dr. Sam Loomis in Halloween.)
The two have been having issues since Sidney’s mom died. She was so traumatized by the event that she has isolated herself and found it hard to let anyone in again. Her best friend Tatum is cool with it as she understands Sidney needs time to grieve, but Billy has been having a hard time backtracking from third base to the benches. Ladies, let me just say that if any guy ever tries to pressure into having sex when you aren’t ready, junk punch him and run away. You don’t need that loser in your life.
To top off the already bad day, Sidney’s father has to go out of town, leaving Sidney all alone in a big house.
Yep, gonna make When a Stranger Calls references all night.
Sidney makes plans to meet up with Tatum and stay at her place, but falls asleep at home when Tatum is late picking her up. While Sidney is waiting she gets a phone call from the killer who starts harassing her. And she stupidly calls throughout the house trying to find him.
“Sidney Prescott: Can you see me right now? Ah, okay. [puts a finger in her nose] What am I doing? Huh? Huh? What am I doing? Hello? [takes finger out] Nice try, Randy. Tell Tatum to hurry up, okay? Bye now.
Ghostface: IF YOU HANG UP ON ME, YOU’LL DIE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER! Do you want to die, Sidney? Your mother sure didn’t.
Sidney Prescott: F*** you, you cretin!”
Soon the killer comes in her house and she has to run away from him and try to get the police there before she is victim #3. Billy shows up, climbing through her window saving her; that is until Sidney sees that he has a cellphone and freaks out, having the police cart him away.
So there are a couple places that were filmed in Santa Rosa, CA. One was the bathroom scene in which Sidney is attacked, the other is Tatum’s house which is right across the street from the house used in Pollyanna (1960). It is also across the street from the house used in Alfred Hitchcock’s Shadow of a Doubt (1943). The house in the opening scene was next door to the house used in Cujo (1983). As I lived in that area when I attended college, I’ve been there.
Sidney spends the night at Tatum’s house and the next day is completely crazy. Billy was released as they had nothing to hold him on. And they still are unable to find her father as he never checked into his hotel. Plus Gale Weathers, a reporter who has been harassing her for a over year, is back and won’t let up.
“Gale: There she is! Sidney, hi, what happened? Are you alright?
Tatum: She’s not answering any questions alright. Just leave us alone.
Sidney Prescott: No, no Tatum it’s OK. She’s just doing her job, right Gale?
Gale: That’s right.
Sidney Prescott: So how’s the book?
Gale: Oh it’ll be out later this year.
Sidney Prescott: Oh, I’ll look for it.
Gale: I’ll send you a copy.
[Sidney turns around a punches Gale in the face]”
Also at the school we have a little Wes Craven easter egg, as he plays the janitor and dresses in a Freddy Krueger sweater.
The principal (Henry Winkler) decides to suspend school until further notice as it is just too risky for the students. After they all have left, he finds himself joining the body count as well, victim #3.
The death of the principal was actually added to the film late into production. Bob Weinstein noticed there were 30 pgs in the script where no one was murdered and they decided that they needed another victim.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Billy’s friend Stu decides to throw a party and have all the kids in school come. I don’t understand why anyone’s parents would allow their kids to go out like that with A FREAKIN’ KILLER ON THE LOOSE. Come on people, Parent!!
At the party, the kids are chillin’, drinking beer, watching horror films, etc. Billy and Sidney go upstairs and talk, resulting in the two having sex.
Meanwhile downstairs Tatum goes off to the garage to get more beer and is attacked by the killer. This garage scene is the only weak link in the film. First of all when Tatum walks over to the garage door and it almost closes on her, that would never happen. My dad is a contractor and I remember when I was a kid I thought the garage would close on me too; however, they design garage doors specfically to not do that. In fact, they have a certain radius that if someone was to walk within that circle the door would stop. And come on she IS IN A FREAKIN’ GARAGE!!! Do you know how many weapons there are in that thing? She passes over a hoe, rake, and a shovel! You see all kinds of tools throughout their fight too. She could easly find something to attack him and win. Although I do have to give props to Wes for allowing Tatum to to put up such a great fight.
Victim #4
Back in the living room, Randy is giving a rundown on how to survive a horror film, (* are the rules that are given by the killer).
You will not survive if you have sex
You will not survive if you do drugs or drinks
You will not survive if you say “I’ll be right back.”
Everyone is a suspect
*You will not survive if you ask “Who’s there.”*
*You will not survive if you go out to investigate a strange noise*
While all this is going on, Gale and Tatum’s brother Officer Dewey, have been spying on the party. Gale has snuck a camera into the party, so that she can view everything from her van. She and Dewey both take a break though, “walking off” together where they come upon Sidney’s father’s abandoned car.
Everyone back at the party gets the news that the principal is dead and had been strung up on the football field. Almost everyone leaves; with just Randy, Sidney, Billy, Stu, and Gale’s cameraman Kenny (in the van) staying behind. The killer comes out and starts attacking.
One of the best scenes is the scene is when a drunk Randy is watching Halloween and telling Jamie Lee Curtis’ character to turn around while the killer is behind him (Randy). He constantly repeats, “Jamie, turn around. Turn around, Jamie!” as the killer is slowly creeping up behind him.
So Kenny and Dewey fall victim to his knife.
Victim #5 & 6
After Sidney and Billy are done having sex and have changed back into their clothes the killer charges in and stabs Billy (#7), while Sidney manages to run away and finds Tatum’s body.
As she continues running she runs in the path of Gale who was fleeing the killer in her van. Gale swerves to miss Sidney and crashes, getting knocked out. Sidney goes back to the house, taking the gun from the dying Dewey. She runs into Randy and Stu and is unsure who is the killer. She then runs into a wounded Billy and gives him the gun. Billy immediately shoots Randy (#8) and stands up.
Yep, Billy isn’t injured at all. In fact, it was all a ploy he is the real killer.
Billy: Corn Syrup, just like in the real movies.
Yep, the whole time Billy and Stu have been the killers. From Sidney’s mom (the real first victim) to everyone else.
“Sidney Prescott: Why? Why did you kill my mother?
Billy: Why? WHY! You hear that Stu? I think she wants a motive. Well I don’t really believe in motives Sid, I mean did Norman Bates have a motive?
Stu: No.
Billy: Did we ever find out why Hannibal Lecter like to eat people? DON’T THINK SO! See it’s a lot more scarier when there’s no motive, Sid. We did your Mom a favor, Sid. That woman was a slut-bag whore who flashed her s*** all over town like she was Sharon Stone or somethin’.
Stu: Yeah, we put her out of her misery, ’cause let’s face Sidney, your mother was no Sharon Stone,hmm?
Billy: Is that motive enough for you? How about this? Your slut mother was f****** my father and she’s the reason my mom moved out and abandoned me. [Sid looks astonished] How’s that for a motive? Maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behaviour. It certainly f***** you up. It made you have sex with a psychopath.”
Yep, and not only that, but the two planned the whole thing out so that her father would take the blame, making it look like he had a mental breakdown on the anniversary of his wife’s death and started killing people. They kidnapped her father and brought him out of hiding for their final act. Billy and Stu planned that original attack on Sidney (when Billy was arrested) to make any second arrest look false and questionable.
Of course their plan will not be complete until they make themselves look like victims. Stu stabs Billy, and Billy stabs Stu. While the two are monologing and arguing they have seemed to forget one important thing.
Sidney and her father have disappeared.
“Stu: S***…
Billy: What?
Stu: Oh, s***.
Billy: [They go into the kitchen to find Sidney and Mr. Prescott gone] Where are they? Where are they?
Stu: I don’t know, Billy, but I’m hurtin’, man!
Yep, just like they say in Dial M for Murder, you can never plan the perfect murder. What sounds good on paper can never transfer to real life, because in real life there are just too many things that can go wrong.
“Margot Mary Wendice: Do you really believe in the perfect murder?
Mark Halliday: Mmm, yes, absolutely. On paper, that is. And I think I could, uh, plan one better than most people; but I doubt if I could carry it out.
Tony Wendice: Oh? Why not?
Mark Halliday: Well, because in stories things usually turn out the way the author wants them to; and in real life they don’t… always.”
So here Stu and Billy find themselves completely off script, and unsure…
[the phone rings]
Stu: Should I let the machine get it?
Billy: [answers it] Hello?
Sidney Prescott: Are you alone in the house?
Billy: B****! You b****, where the f*** are you?
Sidney Prescott: Not so fast, we’re going to play a little game. It’s called: Guess who just called the police and reported your sorry motherf******* a**! [Stu is slowly collapsing to the floor] Billy: Find her, you dips***! Get up! Stu: I can’t, Billy. You already cut me too deep. I think I’m dying here, man! Billy: [Billy gives Stu the phone] Talk to her. Talk to her. Stu: Hello? Sidney Prescott: Ah, Stu, Stu, Stu… What’s your motive? Billy’s got one. The police are on their way. What are you going to tell them? Stu: Peer pressure. I’m far too sensitive. Billy:[Billy takes the phone back] I’m going to rip you up, b****, just like your f****** mother! Sidney Prescott: You’ve gotta find me first, you pansy-a** momma’s boy!”
Now the game of cat and mouse has changed with the hunted becoming the hunters.
In the end Gale, Sidney, Dewey, Mr. Prescott, and Randy survive (only 5 victims).
So that was Scream one of the best horror-parodies ever made.
This film really brought back the slasher genre, as after this slasher remakes and slasher film numbers escalated. It also brought up the debate on whether or not violence in movies affected people and caused them to become more violent? The most important thing is that this film increased was the use of caller ID and made such phone harassment much harder to do. Although not for me.
The other thing I realized in this film is that I am soooooo Randy.
I also realized that just like in The Cable Guy, I’m only a few steps away from the crazy.
Well, that’s Scream. Tune in next Saturday for Scream 2.
So last year I tried to do 12 Posts of Christmas, unfortunately that didn’t work out as I got sick and involved in Christmas-y activities. However, this year I decided to do some thing in the vein of the Chinese New Year and Saint Patrick’s Day posts. Instead of posting everyday, a countdown of 25 of my fav Christmas Films. Now these aren’t my top 25, but I randomly picked them and then rearranged them in the order of how I love them.
25) Love, Actually (2003)
This has a complex storyline as the film has multiple paths. There is Billy Mack, aging rock star trying to get back in the limelight, redoing Christmas songs. Mark is secretly in love with his best friend’s girl Juliet but says nothing to honor his friend. Jamie flees to France after his last girlfriend cheats on him with his brother, there he falls in love with his Portuguese housekeeper. Harry, the direcctor of a design studio, contemplates having an affair with his assistant Mia. David has just become Prime Minister and develops feelings for a girl who works for him, Natalie. Daniel has just lost his wife and is raising his stepson. Sarah has feelings for Karl but her mentally ill brother, Michael, seems to throw a wrench in her plans. Colin is tired of striking out with English women and journeys to America. John and Judy are body doubles for actors who meet at work.
Why it’s Great: It has Colin Firth, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Martin Freeman , etc; need I say more? The Colin Firth storyline is really good, in fact keep an eye open for it’s reappearance this Feb.
24) Twas’ the Night Before Christmas (1974)
Santa isn’t coming this year as he has received an hurtful letter. A mouse and the clockmaker try and figure out what is wrong and fix it. The mouse’s son is the one that caused the issue and they are trying to get him to say he is sorry so that all can have Christmas.
Why it’s Great: They used to show this every year on the 25 Days of Christmas on abcFamily. It’s a great spin on a classic tale.
23) Catch Me If You Can (2002)
Leonardo DiCaprio stars in the film based on the true story of Frank Abagnale, Jr. Frank is a conman who pretends to be a teacher, pilot, doctor, and lawyer all before his 21st birthday. He steals millions of dollars in forged checks. Tom Hanks is the FBI Agent, Carl, that tracks him through the years, finally catching up with him.
Why it’s Great: While this isn’t your typical Christmas film, Christmas plays a significant part as it is the time that the two intersect throughout the years in the film. DiCaprio and Hanks are amazing in this film as they are such subperb actors. It’s a great thing to watch.
22) Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas (1997)
This film takes place in the midst of Beauty and the Beast. The Beast hates Christmas, because in this version that’s when the Enchantress came and turned him into a Beast. Belle is trying to bring back Christmas to the castle and help heal the Beast’s soul, but has to contend with an evil organ played by Tim Curry. For more Beauty and the Beast posts go here.
Short film based on the song about the magic hat that brings a snowman to life and his adventures with the town’s kids.
Why it’s Great: Its Frosty! How can you not love him?
21) Babes in Toyland (1986)
Drew Barrymore is a young girl who is not quite in the Christmas’ spirit. There is a huge storm and she gets into an accident waking up in Toyland. Mary Contrary (who looks just like her sis in ‘real life’) is being forced to marry the evil Barnaby Barnacle. She really loves Jack Be Nimble (played by Keanu Reeves and looks like her sis’ bf in ‘real life’.) Barrymore tries to stop the wedding and Barnaby’s atempt to conquer Toyland. They have to find the toymaker and get his help in saving the land.
Why it’s Great: This Wizard of Oz-esque film is adorable as it brings all the nursery rhymes you learned as a child to life.
A young creation, Edward Scissorhands, is discovered by an Avon saleslady, Peg. His creator was going to give him actual hands, but was not able to finish Edward before he died. The Avon saleslady takes him home to her place and has him join the family. Edward falls for the daughter Kim, played by Winona Ryder. Edward quickly becomes liked by all as he uses his scissors to create lawn art and cute hairstyles. After he is caught burglarizing a house, for Kim and her jerk boyfriend, he finds himself ostracized. In the end Edward is able to find love, his place, create more art, and make it snow.
Why it’s Great: First of all it has Vincent Price, in fact this was his last film before he died. It also is a super cute story, even though it has its sad moments. The last section of the film deals with Christmas, as Peg and her family throw a huge Christmas party that no one comes to as they are shunning the fam. I love Winona Ryder’s white dress in this film, I really want one for myself. It’s also really cute at the end when Edward makes the ice sculptures, and snow.
19) The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Our second Tim Burton film on our list. Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King, and the most popular guy in Halloweentown is disatisfied with his life. He journeys out of town and discovers doors to other holiday towns. When he goes into Christmasland he decides that he will take over Christmas and improve it. Of course nothing turns out quite as he plans.
Sandra Bullock works at a toll booth and everyday she watches the distinguished (and my opinion ugly) Peter Gallagher and has developed a crush on him. One day he is attacked and injured and she saves his life. At the hospital she is mistaken for his fiancé and soon brought into the family. She falls in love with them, along with Gallagher’s brother, played by Bill Pullman. Gallagher wakes up to find himself massively confused, and Bullock finds herself engaged to the wrong brother. Everything works out on the end as all is righted.
Why it’s Great: Well first of all it has Bill Pullman :D. Secondly it is a hilarious film, just like all of Bullock’s comedys. I mean the amnesia scene is to die for. The proposal scene with Bill Pullman is so an adorable and romantic!
17) The Holiday (2006)
Two women who have suffered horrible breakups switch homes for the Christmas holiday. Iris, Kate Winslet, in England goes to California, and befriends an elderly neighbor and falls in love with a Hollywood movie theme writer (played by Jack Black). Amanda, Cameron Diaz, in California, moves to England and falls for Iris’ brother, Jude Law, widower with two kids.
Why it’s Great: Its an absolutely adorable idea and the couples match up are perfect. Of course the most points go to the sexy dad, Jude Law. 😀
16) Nestor: The Long- Eared Donkey (1977)
Nestor is a donkey born with extremely long ears. In the vein of Dumbo, Nestor is constantly picked on and bullied for being so different. An angel encourages him that he was born that way for a reason and has a special purpose in life. Eventually, Nestor finds himself being the donkey that Mary rides in to Bethlehem, protecting her and the unborn Baby Jesus.
Why it’s Great: It is such a cute movie!!!
15) The Little Drummer Boy (1968)
This film is based on the song, “Carol of the Drum” or “The Little Drummer Boy“. A little boy and his animals end up becoming slaves to a circus, being treated cruelly by all. He escapes and one of his animals is injured. He meets up with the Three Magi’s caravan and goes with them to see Baby Jesus. His animal is healed and he plays his drum as thank you to Jesus.
Why it’s Great: It is one of the most adorable classic cartoons that they used to show every year on abcFam.
14) Jack Frost (1979)
Jack Frost has fallen for a human girl and makes a deal that will allow him be human. He is until Spring to win her over and must also gain a horse and bag of gold in order to remain human. Being a human is harder than he thought as he has no idea the social niceties and has to contend with Kubla Khan, the evil dictator.
Why it’s Great: Jack is amazing, much better than the gold knight the girl end sup with ;(. Makes you knida wish he was real. This cartoon also has great musical numbers as “Jack Frost” and “Just What I Always Wanted“. I also loves Kubla Khan’s little dummy that he talks to.
13) The Godfather (1972)
Such an awesome film! The Godfather is a story about the Italian mafia in the 1940s. This specific sect is overseen by Don Corleone. He has three sons; Alfredo (played by John Cazale), Santino (James Caan), and Michael (Al Pacino); and one daughter, Connie (Talia Shire). Santino is next in line to be godfather, skipping over his brother Fredo. Unlike his siblings, Michael wants nothing to do with his father’s business, instead wanting to live a “legal” life. When Don Corleone is shot by a rival, it changes everyone’s plans as they are all spiraled down a new path.
Why it’s Great: Two words, The Godfather. There is no way to describe how amazing this film is, well actually You’ve Got Mail does a pretty good job. You just have to check it out for yourself. This film isn’t a Christmas movie really, but does have a Christmas scene, so it counts. It’s funny, but even though this doesn’t have Thanksgiving, we usually watch it then in my family.
12) The Nativity Story (2006)
A retelling of the birth of Christ from Mary and Joseph’s point of view. It shows the struggle that Joseph goes through, contemplating what to do about pregnant Mary. Then the two have to travel far and long to Bethlehem.
Why it’s Great: They tried to keep the story as historical accurate as possible and do such a great job. It really tries to bring the biblical text to life and get you to empathize with the two and the situations they are going through.
11) The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (1988)
A mini-series based on C.S. Lewis’ beloved books. Four siblings, Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy, enter a wardrobe and a magical world. The four find themselves caught in a battle between the evil White Witch and the Godly Lion, Aslan.
Why it’s Great: C.S. Lewis’ great book = Great movie. Enough said! While Christmas isn’t the biggest part of the plot, the group do run into Father Christmas who gives them gifts they need to win the fight against the White Witch. Peter gets a sword and shield, Susan a bow and horn that will always bring help, and Lucy a dagger and a healing substance to help the wounded. While this movie was remade by Disney, it doesn’t hold a candle to this mini-series, as the series while not having the great special effects, is almost exactly the book.
10) White Christmas (1954)
Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye are WWII veterans who became a song and dance duo. The two meet up with a pair of singing sisters and both head off to the same ski lodge. There they discover their old general is the owner, and may lose the place from lack of buisness and snow. The two come up with an idea to house a show there with the sisters. Bing Crosby starts a romance but the two break it off due to some misunderstandings. In the end they are all reunited and have a great number honoring the General and singing the title, White Christmas.
Why it’s Great: First of all Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye! Secondly this has some truly great musical numbers; such as “Gee, I Wish I Was Back in the Army“, “Sisters“, along with the title song. It’s a silly and zany film, you’ll love it.
8) A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
The Peanut gang try to figure out the true meaning of Christmas amid all the insanities of the holiday.
Garfield and the gang head out to the Arbuckle farm for some old fashioned country Christmas
Why it’s Great: Its from the good Garfield cartoons I grew up watching as a kid. That hilarious fat cat always makes the season brighter. Go here to watch.
7) A Christmas Story (1983)
Adult Ralphie narrates the time when his nine-year-old self desired a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas and all the trouble he went through to try and get it. Throughout the time leading up to Christmas, he, his family, and friends are involved in all kinds of crazy antics. The father wins a female leg lamp, Ralphie’s friend Flick gets his tongue stuck to a pole, his brother won’t eat unless pretending to be a pig, Ralphie gets a pink-footed bunny pajamas, etc. It all leads up to one crazy Christmas.
Why it’s Great: This movie is extremely hilarious. Pretty much every scene I mentioned there and more. It is is truly a classic piece. You gotta add it to your Christmas countdown. 😀
6) The Bishop’s Wife (1947)
The Bishop is trying to get a new cathedral built along with all his other duities. Feeling stressed out, he calls out to God for help, and is answered by angel Dudley, Cary Grant. Dudley helps out, that is by spending all his time with the Bishop’s wife. Through this the Bishop is finally able to see what really matters in his life and the true meaning of Christmas.
Why it’s Great: Uh…Cary Grant! It also has such funny actics as when we see Grant’s angel powers. I mean I wish I had his tree decorating skills. This film also proves the old adage, “be careful what you wish for” is something that one should think on. 😀 For more thoughts on this film go here.
5) How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)
The Grinch hates Christmas and decides to destroy and end the holiday, ruining the holiday for all the Whos. However, the Grinch finds out what the true spirit of christmas is, whether he wants to or not.
Why it’s Great: The Grinch was always my fav Dr. Seuss book. I just love the story so much! I remember that one year I ate a ton of a certain type of cereal and sent away for a special Grinch keychain. I lost it though in one of our moves. This film is also awesome because it has the amazing Boris Karloff narrating, and has one of the all-time best songs, “You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch“.
4) Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
A Macy’s department store Santa believes himself to be the “real” Santa Claus. His insistence lands him in jail and then in a huge court case to determine whether or not Santa is real
Why it’s Great: It’s an amazing film about faith, believing in the intangible, and the true meaning of Christmas. Edmund Gwenn is a perfect Santa, Maureen O’Hara is lovely as always, and it stars a young Natalie Wood. It has amazing scenes as Santa turns Macy’s into a store of goodwill, taking down the psychologist, and pretty much just being adorable. Best scene ever is the court scenes when they prove Santa’s real. 😀
3) Holiday Inn (1942)
Bing Crosby plays a burnt out singer and moves to Connecticut to buy a country home and live a simple life. It soon becomes too much for him and he turns it into a hotel, open only on holidays. (Sounds like my type of place) Wannabe star Linda Mason starts to work for him and the two fall in love. Unfortunately, Crosby’s old partner and womanizer, played by Fred Astaire, comes back into the picture and tries to break up the two. It involves a lot of zany romance and comical moments.
Why it’s Great: The holiday songs are amazing; White Christmas, Happy Holidays, (Come to) Holiday Inn, Be Careful It’s My Heart, I Can’t Tell a Lie, etc. The wonderful partnership of Bing and Fred make this movie really great! 😀 A great watch. Now for some fun facts. This is the first time “White Christmas” was performed in a film. The same set was used for the film White Christmas which also stars Bing. The hotel chain Holiday Inn got their name from this movie.
2) The Shop Around the Corner (1940)
Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullivan work together in a shop in Budapest and can’t stand each other. Unbeknownst to them they are actually the pen pals that they are falling in love with. Stewart realizes this and does everything he can to show Sullivan that he is the man she loves and the two end up happily ever after. It was later remade as You’ve Got Mail.
Why it’s Great: JIMMY STEWART! That pretty much says it all. I love this film so, so, so, much, there are no words to describe how great it is. So romantic! ❤
1) It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
Jimmy Stewart plays George Bailey, a troubled man. An angel, Clarence, is given the story of George’s life and sent down from heaven to help him. George has always dreamed of leaving his hometown and traveling the world. Unfortunately, no matter what he does he continues to be stuck there. He marries and helps the town in many ways, but doesn’t realize all the good he does. However, when a large sum of money goes missing and everything in his life seems to be going wrong he wishes he was never born at all. Clarence helps him by granting his wish and showing him how ugly Bedford Falls would be without him.
Why it’s Great: This is one of my favorite Jimmy Stewart films. There’s a reason why this film is played every year, besides the fact that it is JIMMY STEWART! It is a great movie that really shows you how even the smallest acts can make a difference in people’s life. If you’d like to read more of my thoughts on this film go here. This film always makes me think of my dad. He has done so much for people and can get frustrated as he doesn’t feel like his has accomplished much. “Clarence: Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”
So Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all have a great day full of family, friends, and fun. 😀
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