Let That Catherine Morland Flag Fly Free

So Horrorfest started I couldn’t tell you exactly when. I’ve always been a fan of horror, thriller, suspense, mystery, film-noir, etc. I would watch them all the time, but every day in October.

When I went to college, I continued and my roommates were thrown into my 31 Days of Horror films celebration.

Who knows?!

So when I started blogging in 2012 I decided to include it and officially create “Horrorfest”-blogging about a film every day. That way it would save my friends/roommates from something they weren’t as interested in.

Yay!!!

Over the years I have established a set of rules and annual films categories. Every year I have enjoyed doing it although sometimes I have fallen behind because of life getting in the way. Usually I have the posts written, like this year I had all 31 done extremely early-the best I have ever been, it is just the editing that slowed me down. If you have someone willing to edit your work-give them a lot of love, because it takes a LOT of time to do.

So last year I received quite a few comments questioning Horrorfest as it has nothing to do with Jane Austen. They felt that there was no reason to do it and didn’t want me to continue.

Hmmm

Well, they are right it does have nothing to do with Jane Austen.

Even though Horrorfest doesn’t really have anything to do with Jane Austen, I have tried to input anything Jane Austen related-I’ve reviewed Death Comes to PemberleyDeath by Persuasion-or things with Austen actors in it like Ruby in the Smoke and Dead Again. I’ve even reviewed some films that while not Jane Austen-are films that Austen fans will love.

But even if I don’t review something Jane Austen, I think its okay to include Horrorfest as there is one character who would love this:

Yep the Regency spooky girl:

So if you aren’t interested, feel free to skip reading me this October and join us back in November. For the rest of you, next October I’ll be back with more horror, mystery, film-noir, suspense, thrillers, etc.

So for this year’s review: how I do Horrorfest VIII is that I watch whatever, and review it. I mean I usually plan the first and last film-and of course I planned The Planet of the Apes series review after someone donated the set to the library-yet it always amazes me how many match up themewise.

This year we had gothic films with the Horror of Dracula and Rebecca.

We also had a multicultural Horrorfest VIII as my Jane Austen profile pic was inspired from my Mexican culture, we had Horror of Dracula from England, High Seas AKA Alta Mar from Spain, Spirited Away from Japan, and Strong Woman Bong Soon from Korea.

We had dystopian futures with Planet of the Apes, Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Escape from Planet of the Apes, Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, Battle for Planet of the Apes, Logan’s Run, and The Running Man.

We had Non-Austen Films for Austen Fans with Alta Mar AKA High Seas,Death By Persuasion” from Midsomer Murders, Rebecca, and Strong Woman Bong Soon.

We had superheroes with Batman, Strong Woman Bong Soon, and Unbreakable. 

Ghosts with The Fog, R.I.P.D., Spirited Away, and 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo.

And apes with the Planet of the Apes series and King Kong.

And of course our Annual films:

  • A movie or TV episode from every decade of 1930s-2010s
  • Doubledose of Alfred Hitchcock with Alfred Hitchcock Presents and Rebecca
  • Animated Film with Spirited Away, Disney with Spirited Away, 
  • Doubledose of Lifetime with Death of a Cheerleader and Psycho Mother-in-Law,
  • Stephen King with The Running Man
  • Tim Burton with Batman
  • Vincent Price with 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo

The full list of films, TV episodes, and video game reviewed for Horrorfest VIII:

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

King Kong (1933)

Rebecca (1940)

Lamb to the Slaughter” from Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1958)

Horror of Dracula (1958)

The Notorious Landlady (1962)

Planet of the Apes (1968)

Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)

Escape from Planet of the Apes (1971)

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)

Battle for Planet of the Apes (1973)

Logan’s Run (1976)

The Fog (1980)

Dark Crystal (1982)

To All the Ghouls I’ve Loved Before” from 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo (1985)

The Running Man (1987)

Batman (1989)

Dead Again (1991)

Leprechaun (1993)

Death of a Cheerleader (1994)

“The Puppet Show” from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)

Unbreakable (2000)

Spirited Away (2001)

The Stepfather (2009)

The Last Christmas: Shadow Island Mysteries (2010)

R.I.P.D. (2013)

Death By Persuasion” from Midsomer Murders (2017)

Strong Woman Bong Soon (2017)

Veil of Secrets (2018)

High Seas (2019)

Psycho Mother-in-Law (2019)

Now, Fight Like Apes!: Battle for Planet of the Apes (1973)

Now, fight like apes!

Here we go, last film! I haven’t accomplished a series since I did Screamtastic Saturdays back in 2014 (I did try with TMNT but I ended up falling behind in my reviews and had to reverse them.)

So here we go:

It was 1991 in the other film and this one starts of 2670 AD. We have an orangoutang readig the scrolls giving us a brief recap of Escape From the Planet of the Apes and Conquest of the Planet of the Apes.

After that film there was a great war and the cities were destroyed. But Caesar led a group of apes out to lead them. We travel back to after the dust settled, the nuclear bombs, and ape city has been established.  (I guess year 1995? Maybe?)

We see a primitive society that has apes and people.

Although the apes are not treated as they were in Planet of the Apes, they are servants and lower than the apes. They can teach and hold jobs-but the apes are on the top of the food chain and control them.

This film has a really long intro, much longer than the others. Two humans are trying to fix a wheel on a cart when a gorilla knocks them to the side and does it himself, he’s really strong. Its General Aldo.

Aldo as in ALDO the ape who lead the people in Cornelius’ history lesson? The movie doesn’t say, but it seems to me Caesar stole his destiny.

Anyways General Aldo comes late to school, and makes a scene as he doesn’t know how to read and doesn’t care to. But under Caesar, every ape must go to school.

There is some unrest as Aldo does not like humans and does not care to be taught by a human. Caesar’s son Cornelius is in school and gets high marks.

Aldo does poor work and gets told to do it again. The General is very angry at a human commanding him and rips up Cornelius’ paper. The teacher shouts no to him.

Yes, all gasp. Humans can never say no to apes again! The teacher is told by Virgil, an orangoutang to go home-the teacher apologizes bit it isn’t good enough.

This is all Aldo has been waiting for and he and his gorilla gang destroy the schoolhouse and chase after the teacher to hurt him

But he gets to Caesar in time to save him. MacDonald (from the last film) aides Caesar and grows fearful of Aldo? And he should be. That gorilla is prime to start an uprising, destroy something or people, etc.

MacDonald is mad that the humans and apes are not equal. He’s like me and my family lived through the sixties and have to go through this again.

Caesar tells him one day they may grow to trust people again. maybe. 

Meanwhile Caesar has been thinking of his parents and what they would think of or say about his leadership. MacDonald mentions that in the destroyed city are pictures and videos of his parents-things that probably survived the bomb. Unfortunately, the city is radioactive. So how to get through?

Hmmm…

Lisa, Caeser’s wife is afraid he might not come back. Leaving Aldo there without Caesar? I would be afraid there would be nothing to come back to.

Caesar goes to the armory which is held by a certain orangutang that seriously questions people before any guns can be given out. He has been appointed not only the holder of the armory but Caesar’s conscious. Interesting, and a good idea-someone who can be objective.

Caesar, Virgil, and MacDonald head out to the destroyed city. There they find the city and it is in a wasteland-it looks like when the cities were burned in WWII. But in the one movie, Beneath the Planet of the Apes, the city was supposed to be below-Did it sink over time?

Hmm…

They go through the city, meanwhile men are scrounging underneath. They speak of radiation and we see a woman trying to put makeup over the scar, a callback to the second film.

The three set off a motion detector and the new governor recognizes Caesar. He thinks he has come to battle. He recognizes MacDonald too.

That’s not good.

The guys search through the video for the right tape and Virgil finds it, they watch it-really.

These guys don’t think there will be an issue? You should have taken it back with you. but oh yeah there is no electronics where they leave. They mention it has been 12 years since the last film so that makes this 2003.

Virgil tells us that time is fluid, and that a number of factors could change what is to come. He thinks that the future the apes mention is only one possibility, which is true. The timeline was disrupted by Taylor, then Brent, then when Zira and Cornelius came into the past-anything could happen.

Who knows?!

Virgil notices a camera over head and they destroy it. They hurry to escape as they can only be underground for 2 hours or else they will go crazy.

The mutants shoot at them and try to capture them, but our gang make it out the tunnels (so I guess some is underground) to freedom but just barely.

The men follow but have a hard time in the sun, they are like mole people.

It burns

Our three flee to their home.

One officer wants the governor to just leave well enough alone. But the governor won’t have it. It makes me think of Ratcliffe in Pocahontas. 

He wants them to follow and destroy them all!

The scouts follow and spy on our gang. Like seriously guys, you are the worst ever, You didn’t even check to see if they were following you?!

So Caesar begins a war council, but includes humans-which makes Aldo mad. He and the gorillas begin their own uprising.

Now I know you don’t want to be a dictator and squash people, but if someone is anti-the leader-why promote them? Aren’t you basically calling yourself king or emperor? It’s not like you are a president and doing an election. I don’t know.

Cornelius overhears him and is wounded by Aldo. Then the mutants attack the gorillas. Cesar is grieving and in shock over his son-and while he’s distracted Aldo rounds up and corrals the humans-making a play for the throne.

Geez-its the ape version of Game of Thrones. This title-not kidding. A serious battle indeed.

There is no middle ground.

The battle against the mutants begin!

The mutants get closer and discover that the apes are all dead and defeated. But it turns out they are only pretending and launch another attack.

After that the battle ends-but Caesar still has to contend with Aldo and the realization that the apes are not too much different from humans after all.

They battle it out and Aldo dies.

GOOD!

Caesar agrees to MacDonald’s request for humans to be treated as equals, this scene I remember the most out of the entire movie.

Afterwards, they lock up the guns and wait for a peaceful day when no weapons will ever be needed.

We end on a scene of humans and apes living together, for the moment-at peace.

I don’t like this movie as much as some of the others, but I did like it as a conclusion to the story. I thought it had the heart of the original with some serious subject matter (current times) infused with the action.

I love this original series and am glad I finally had a chance to watch and review them all in order.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Planet of the Apes, go to Tonight Has Been the Birth of the Planet of the Apes: Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)

For more Roddy McDowell, go to We Think We’ve Got All the Time in the World, But How Much Time Has the World Got?: Escape from Planet of the Apes (1971)

For more dystopian future films, go to I’m Not Into Politics. I’m Into Survival: The Running Man (1987)

I’m Not Into Politics. I’m Into Survival: The Running Man (1987)

It is time for our annual Stephen King film:

I’m not into politics. I’m into survival.

So I promised back in January that I would review this film as it takes place in 2019 and inspired this year’s Dystopian theme. Plus I love this movie.

I know lots of people don’t care for Arnold Schwarzenegger, but I love his films. I just can’t enough of the puns and the comebacks and of course action.

So when Rob Cohen purchased the rights to the Richard Bachman novella “The Running Man”, he had no idea that Bachman was actually a pseudonym for Stephen King. I didn’t know it was a Stephen King film either, until a few years back I was trying to pick a Stephen King film and it came up when I googled him.

Huh?

I know I was in shock too, it didn’t seem like the other stuff he made. So without further ado, it’s time to start… RUNNING!

So it is the film starts off in 2018-the economy of the world has collapsed due to a lack of resources and they are all ruled by a totalitarian government that controls everyone through TV.

The people are kept in line with anyone who steps out gets sent to prison, or worse to be on the TV show, The Running Man. “Runners”, the prisoners, have to compete in gladiator-type battles against “Stalkers” who all have a theme character and weapons-kind of like wrestlers.

Does this remind you of anything? Like:

Or maybe:

Yes, it is very similar but lots of Dystopian films/books share similar things. The nice thing is that while all of these are similar-there are enough differences that you aren’t feeling like you are watching/reading something that was regurgitated.

So our story begins with Ben Richards (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a captain of the militarized police force and is sent into Bakersfield to stop a revolt. When he does get there, he finds no dangerous revolutionaries, but just hungry people-women and children.

Dispatcher: Proceed with plan alpha. Eliminate anything moving.

Ben Richards: I said the crowd is unarmed. There are a lot of women and children down there. All they want is food for God’s sake!

Dispatcher: As you were, Richards. Proceed with plan alpha. All rioters must be eliminated.

Ben Richards: The hell with you. I will not fire on helpless people. Abort mission. We return back to base.

But the others open fire and kill all, and who do they blame? Ben of course-naming him “The Butcher of Bakersfield”. This scene always made me think of Fahrenheit 451 when they have to find a scapegoat.

He is dubbed “The Butcher of Bakersfield” and sent to prison where he serves 18 months.

He and few other prisoners work on a plan and manage to break out and get free from the electric collars. Ben heads to L.A. to find his brother. Instead he finds Amber Mendez (Maria Conchita Alonso), TV show jingle writer, residing in his brother’s apartment as he has been taken away for “reeducation”.

This is so 1984, they have to “reeducate” the troublemakers-really torture ad brainwash them.

Ben ties Amber up and investigates her apartment, taking money, her flight pass, and booking a flight to Hawaii. He wants Amber to come with as they will be looking for a single man, but she refuses. He won’t take no for an answer and convinces her by picking up the machine he strapped her to and threatening her.

This reminds me of Alfred Hitchcock’s The 39 Steps when Richard Hannay gets framed for murder and team’s up with Pamela (Madeleine Carroll), an unwilling accomplice. She hates him and fights with him, but discovers he is telling the truth and falls in love with him.

They get caught in the airport, and Ben is sent back to prison. There he is offered to be on the show The Running Man by the owner, Damon Killian, instead of rotting in prison. He is amazed by Ben’s survival skills and knows he will be a GIANT HIT.

Unfortunately, Killian doesn’t know what we do-it’s a bad idea to go after Ben. Ben refuses until they threaten to send his compatriots from the prison escape to the show. He agrees, but then finds out that Killian lied and they are all going on the show.

Gosh, I love how cooly he delivers that.

Meanwhile, Amber is like Pamela (from The 39 Steps), and starting to wonder if maybe Ben told her the truth. She goes into the files of ICS (The Running Man station and government) to see what the original recordings were. She discovers Ben is telling the truth but is caught.

So how the game works is that they are in a abandoned area of Los Angeles and have to go through multiple levels and fight different “stalkers”. If they defeat a stalker, they progress to the next level-although many don’t ever do that. Only a few even make it to the very end and win.

The first one Ben has to fight is Sub-Zero:

I love Arnold’s quips and his delivery of them. LOL.

Now that I have sen Logan’s Run, like Ben and Amber are just a more hardcore version of Logan and Jessica.

They move to the next level and are joined by Amber, who has been found and thrown into the ring. One of Ben’s friends, the hacker, knows he can get into the system if he just gets a chance. He gives the uplink code to Amber to memorize.

Then then have to face Buzzsaw:

Ouch!

They then fight Dynamo:

But Richards doesn’t kill him. It is interesting why he chooses to spare his life and not the others? Maybe because he isn’t defending himself, but it would be “murder” in his eyes. Maybe because he realizes they are all stuck in this life, all prisoners running in the hamster wheel of life created by the government?

They then head to the final level, Fireball. There they discover that the winning Runners didn’t win after all. They were killed! Just like in Logan’s Run!

They defeat Fireball and then Ben threatens Killian-I love this:

Killian is at a loss, Ben cannot win. He is inciting people to rebellion. There is only one thing left to do-bring Captain Freedom out of retirement.

Captain Freedom doesn’t want to fight and lose and Killian needs him to win so they decide to lie. They bring in stunt doubles of Ben and Amber to fight and lose-just like on Fahrenheit 451

” They know they can hold their audience only so long. The show’s got to have a snap ending, quick!” –Fahrenheit 451

Meanwhile the resistance has made it to the games and busted Ben and Amber out. Ben’s friends have been killed in the game, but luckily the hacker shared the uplink code with Amber. They come up with a plan to hack the system, reveal the truth, and destroy Killian and the others.

I don’t do requests, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

In the end Killian is killed, the truth is revealed, Ben is a hero, and all ends well.

I really enjoy this film, but I think they could have focused more on deeper themes, but the director they had was let go a week before production and new one brought in. Knowing that, I’m surprised it was good as it was.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Stephen King, go to Ever Heard of the Tommyknockers?: The Tommyknockers (1993)

For more Arnold Schwarzenegger, go to Someone Has Erased His Memory: Total Recall (1990)

For more dystopian future films, go to Tonight Has Been the Birth of the Planet of the Apes: Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)

Tonight Has Been the Birth of the Planet of the Apes: Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)

Tonight Has Been the Birth of the Planet of the Apes

So we are almost done with out Planet of the Apes Wednesdays I’ve really enjoyed them as I think this has been the first time I’ve actually watched them all in order and completely through.

We open up in America 1991-Gorillas in orange jumpsuits, Chimps in green khakis. A whole new world.

So already digging two things about this film-Yes Roddy McDowell is in this one too (I just love him)! And it sounds as if they brought that awesome music from the first film- a tribal sound mixed with scifi.

So a lot has happened since the last film. It turns out Cornelius and Zira brought a space disease that killed all the cats and dogs in the world. Yes Taylor going through time disrupted the timeline and accelerated it.

Just like Cornelius had said, the people began adopting apes to have them be pets, and then when they become so good at everything, they start treating them as slaves.

All of them

The police/security guards are all dressed as gestapo and the apes aren’t allowed to gather and meet freely. They are training the apes to be slaves, just like Cornelius said in the previous film. Carry packages, tie shoes, shoe-shine, mop, waiters hairdressers, servers, etc. The apes are on leashes, yes they are man sized-look like people but treated like animals.

People are protesting as the apes take their jobs. They really get you on the metaphor. It is interesting as this is clearly speaking from the headlines of the, but some things are still relevant to today.

We see Cesare and the circus owner, Armando (Ricardo Montalban). They give us a brief recap of where we left off in the as film (I summarized above). So Armando has protected Cesare by keeping him away from the cities in his traveling circus. However, they have needed to go to the city to get a crowd and make more money

So WORST IDEA EVER!!! Why would you bring the most sought after talking ape who has been sheltered his whole life to the city where they treat apes cruel. You should have left him with the circus animals.

The police start roughhousing with an ape and, of course Cesare speaks out. They are close to being captured, but the attention is grabbed by someone else and they melt away into the crowd.

Cesare runs away and they hide out for a bit. Armando never should have brought him.

Armando tells Cesare to wait for him, he is going to the police and make up a story. If he doesn’t return by nine o’clock, the plan is for Cesare to head to the harbor and pretend to be an ape fresh off the boat.

Armando ends up in the governor’s office, and they torture question Armando more and more. Armando continues to fight them and protect Cesare. He continues to say that he has no clue about the chimps from space and monkeys.

The governor doesn’t believe him and is taking no chances. In the provinces, where the circus has been-there has been no issues. But in the city, there have been uprisings. One ape attacked his owner, which an aide says was because of excessive beatings, proof seen on the body.  But the governor doesn’t care. He doesn’t like them, and they all must be subservient or ELSE!

So Armando doesn’t come and Cesare sneaks into the harbor with the other apes. They are all freaking out-worried, but Cesare calms them down. When they arrive off the boat they are fingerprinted and taken to be trained.

That’s not good.

I really like the buildings on this, it kind of makes me think of Total Recall set design.

So the guards have flamethrowers, just like the Nazis. Yes, the Nazi vibe is really heavy here. We see it in the uniforms the guards wear, the camps to train the apes in, flamethrowers, apes having to wear certain clothes, apes having to be separate, etc.

Hmm…

Cesare is put in a pen with other chimps and given a banana . The other chimps have been going crazy as they have been starved all day, but Cesare shares the banana with the others.

Meanwhile the guards are torturing I mean questioning Armando. I like how the guards in charge of the apes are a mix of races, although only men. I guess women don’t get to be guards in this new world order.

So Cesare of course is just blowing the guards away with his talent, being much faster at picking up the training.

There are very few orangoutangs in this and probably because they have to be bigger and the makeup budget was slashed. The gorillas and chimps were much easier.

So they breed the chimps and gorillas like in Anthem by Ayn Rand. Cesare gets picked as a breeder and…

This movie is Anthem! Both films have a society were a small elite rule over a larger group that have to do “lower” things like janitorial, shoe shining, etc. They assign certain people to each other and breed them. One man rebels against them, and in Anthem runs off with their lady to recreate society.

Must be why I love that book, (I obviously saw this before I read it.)

Anyways…

They then chain the apes up to monoliths and sell them. Cesare is brough out for the bidding and the guard drops the cuffs and Cesare picks it up and gives it to him. Everyone can see that he is a chimpanzee of great intelligence and he goes for $1500 to the governor! Eep!

That’s not good.

So whenever the people speak to apes they say “no” a lot. I don’t think I say no to my cat that much, but then who could make a cat a slave? No wonder that was Aldo’s first word.

Breck: Ah, it seems the little fella’s not quite so bright after all.

MacDonald: No, but then brightness has never been encouraged among slaves.

The governor lets Cesare pick out his own name, as his wife has all their apes do it, and he chooses Caesar. What book were they looking at that the Cs were in the middle of the book? I guess if it was an “a-d” volume but it was a fat book.

Hmm…

Cesare walks taller than the others and more like a man. He is lead out and intrigued by all that he sees on the world. They climb through these tunnels, and they look like the ones they went through in Beneath the Plant of the Apes Yay! Continuity.

Caesar gets put to work on filing.

Meanwhile, Armando is still in questioning. They finally decide to release him after he signs a declaration. He doesn’t read it, but signs right away. He shouldn’t have don’t that.

Always read before you sign.

They put him under a machine that forces him to tell the truth-see shouldn’t have signed.

Bad luck is never ending!

He fights with them and they beat him, he ends up trying to escape and goes out the window falling to his death.

Ah, poor Armando. He never should have taken Cesare into the world, he should have left him in the circus. But if he had, we never would have had this  film.

Poor Caesar hears of it and cries,. The only father he as ever known!

So the governor obsesses about Cornelius, Dr. Zira, and ape uprising over and over-yet has their child working for him. Seriously-dude.

Caesar begins the uprising, by having all the apes collect items and start saying no. I like how he is there at each uprising-he is either there or his spirit is!

The Governor wants all bad apes to be rounded up and sent to the conditioning center, but because of Caesar’s rebellion the centers are full. He also is searching for the ape, Cornelius and Zira’s baby-convinced it is still alive!

The govenor’s aide, Malcolm Macdonald (Hari Rhodes), thinks the governor is being useless. Making a list of the bad apes, fighting the apes, he thinks he is committing folly and creating more problems, the governor does not agree. However, with all this extra work the governor is making them do, one thorough worker discovers that a crate from Borneo had a chimp in it-the one that was sold to the governor. The Chimp can’t be from Borneo as chimps don’t live there.

Th governor calls for Caesar to be sent to his office, preparing to kill him,  McDonald feels bad and doesn’t send him in as he is on an “errand”.

The governor keeps calling McDonald and he ignores the governor until he can’t no longer. He is at a crossroad, he does’t want Caesar to be tortured and murdered, but what can he do?

Caesar speaks t him, and McDonald’s eyes just go bam with shock-he is a much better actor than Brent.

I like how Caesar and McDonald talk about revolution, McDonald is African American and does’t agree with society, as after all it was only 30 years go (the year is 1991 in the film) that African Americans were be treating similar to how the apes are now. But at the same time he doesn’t want a revolution, killing, etc

“Caesar: [to Malcolm] You above everyone else should understand.”

As they talk the Gestapo come storming down and McDonald’s conscience and morals win out over duty. He releases Caesar and he scurries off. Cesar tries to hide, but is eventually found and chained to be tortured into talking.

They put Caesar into the torture machine to try and get him to talk, to prove he is the ape they have been searching for. He just screams in agony. But eventually the pain is to great and Caesar finally gives in and says help

McDonald sneaks away and cuts the power to let Caesar be free as he doesn’t want him to be electrocuted to death.

Cesar appears to be dead, but I know he isn’t They should know better to always check a pulse! I’ve seen enough horror films. They aren’t really dead right away.

Cesar goes over and kills the guard.The revolution has begun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

La Liberté Guidant le Peuple (Liberty Leading the People)

Viva la Cesare!!!

He goes to where all his ape buddies/followers are waiting and the uprising begins!!!

It is interesting how this film doesn’t have a lot of dialogue, as a majority of your cast is silent, but the film is really intriguing as they know how to show you how you feel. I feel a lot of today’s film’s don’t know how to just give us the visuals and let is be intelligent enough to know what they are trying to show and represent.

Governor calls his men trying to take the apes down, but it’s not gonna work. They are coming for you Man in the High Castle!

You now this film reminds me a lot of I Robot. I think they copied a lot from this film. All the people need to be inside a sthe Ape army marches on.

What the humans don’t realize is that they have been planning for this moment and are prepared to take over.

They police keep telling the apes no and to go back, but they persevere-a silent army that will be be silent no longer.

The apes net the humans, being reminiscent if the first film. Well done writers, well done.

The apes storm across the plaza with weapons picked up from the police they have stopped. Armed and organized! With shields!

But then they stop. What are they waiting for?

Fire, earlier they had poured gasoline in the square and they set it on fire and storm off-ape versus man! I think it is obvious who would win.

Chaos, fire, and fighting-what every Dystopian Future film has to have! (Think about all the ones you have seen, they all have those three things in them).

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO One if the apes burns the books!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I no longer approve of your revolution.

The governor barricades himself, but the apes cut through the door. And in comes Caesar storming the gates and shooting up everyone.

Caesar saves the governor though just to confront him. Caesar asks him why did you turn your pets into slaves? He says because we were born from  you. You are the beast that resides in us and you must be shackled and destroyed.

They take him out t be killed and they stab and kill the humans. MacDonald tries to stop him, telling him what he is doing is wrong. He begs him to show humanity to the men. But Caesar coldly replies that he is not human! Caesar starts giving a speech that is a glimpse of the future (or past film?)

MacDonald: Caesar… Caesar! This is not how it was meant to be.

Caesar: In your view or mine?

MacDonald: Violence prolongs hate, hate prolongs violence. By what right are you spilling blood?

Caesar: By the slave’s right to punish his persecutor.

MacDonald: I, a descendant of slaves, am asking you to show humanity.

Caesar: But, I was not born human.

MacDonald: I know. The child of the evolved apes.

Caesar: Whose children shall rule the earth.

MacDonald: For better or for worse?

Caesar: Do you think it could be worse?

MacDonald: Do you think this riot will win freedom for all your people? By tomorrow…

Caesar: By tomorrow it will be too late. Why a tiny, mindless insect like the emperor moth can communicate with another over a distance of 80 miles…

MacDonald: An emperor ape might do slightly better?

Caesar: Slightly? What you have seen here today, apes on the 5 continents will be imitating tomorrow.

MacDonald: With knives against guns? With kerosene cans against flamethrowers?

Caesar: Where there is fire, there is smoke. And in that smoke, from this day forward, my people will crouch and conspire and plot and plan for the inevitable day of Man’s downfall – the day when he finally and self-destructively turns his weapons against his own kind. The day of the writing in the sky, when your cities lie buried under radioactive rubble! When the sea is a dead sea, and the land is a wasteland out of which I will lead my people from their captivity! And we will build our own cities in which there will be no place for humans except to serve our ends! And we shall found our own armies, our own religion, our own dynasty! And that day is upon you… now!”

So I know some people were upset since Roddy McDowell clearly states in the previous film, that the leader of the one who rebelled against the humans was called Aldo and the leader in this film was originally Milo, then Caesar.

But I think it worked. I mean they didn’t know they were to become the parents of the future leader or plan for it. And it was never thought they would go to the past so the timeline was disrupted, first by Taylor, then Brent, and then Cornelius and Dr. Zira.

Caesar: But now… now we will put away out hatred. Now we will put down our weapons. We have passed through the Night of the Fires. And who were our masters are now our servants. And we, who are not human, can afford to be humane. Destiny is the will of God. And, if it is man’s destiny to be dominated, it is God’s will that he be dominated with compassion and understanding. So, cast out your vengeance. Tonight, we have seen the birth of the Planet of the Apes!

Fire consumes the city and the apes cheer. But what will the future hold? We will find out next Wednesday when I review the last film of the original Planet of the Apes: Battle for Planet of the Apes. 

I wasn’t sure I would be able to do all five but I’m feeling super confident- I think I’ve got this in the bag.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Planet of the Apes, go to We Think We’ve Got All the Time in the World, But How Much Time Has the World Got?: Escape from Planet of the Apes (1971)

For more Roddy McDowell, go to Take Your Stinking Paws Off Me, you D*** Dirty Ape!: Planet of the Apes (1968)

For more dystopian future films, go to Don’t Go in There! You Don’t Have to Die! No One Has to Die at 30! You Could Live! LIVE!: Logan’s Run (1976)

We Think We’ve Got All the Time in the World, But How Much Time Has the World Got?: Escape from Planet of the Apes (1971)

“We think we’ve got all the time in the world, but how much time has the world got?”

While I remember all of Planet of the Apes as I have seen it a gazillion times, and the others as they had very memorable scenes. This film I remember zero about this other than them running with their baby. I don’t know why…

Hmmm

Oh well, it will be interesting to see whether this improves over its predecessor. At least it won’t have Brrrent in it.

Beneath the Planet of the Apes did such a great job monetary wise and even though they pretty much blew up the planet, the studio heads wanted another sequel-logic be darned.

JUST DO IT!!!

You have to admit it was pretty creative to have the apes escape (Cinemasins would say roll credits) in Taylor’s plane that they managed to fix. On one hand Cornelius was very interested in it and the human belongings they found in Planet of the Apes, and I could see them tooling around with it. But then on the other hand how? If you look at The Planet of the Apes’ society they have no electronics, no cars, no planes, etc-how would they know how to do anything with a spaceship? I mean they still operate on horseback or buggy.

It seriously doesn’t make any sense, but whatever.

We open up on the ocean like in the last film (it actually was the same beach they filmed the end of the first film). But this is our (1970s) time as there is a helicopter going over the ocean and it finds a rocket.

What?

I don’t know why but this makes me think if KIng Kong (1976) when Jessica Lange is floating in a boat. I don’t know why, it’s something about the way the scene was shot. That was a disappointing movie. That girl.

Anyways, sorry. So of course they call the military in, why not? Even the general comes out. I know it is a really big deal, but you think the general would wait to make sure it wasn’t going to kill him.

They open up and we see three astronauts-like in the first film-in US gear. But then they take their helmets off and we see they are apes.

AWESOME!!!! All are in shock and agog!!!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! And Roddy McDowell is Back!!!! YAY!!!!

Right away you are hooked.

This is a big improvement over Brrrent (you have to say his name in disgust).

And we get a musical score in this film-more spyish than scifi.

This opening is awesome, the military moving them along, and all are like what the heck is going on?

And the makeup looks great again.

They put them with the other animals in the zoo. Oh the irony, like how Taylor was treated in  Planet of the Apes. But he was supposed to be ironic is this double irony?

So the military are completely shocked. Some are talking to them like they are human, others think of them as animals. It’s perfect, they are completely befuddled.

So they give them an orange to eat, as apes like oranges. I just love the way Cornelius stares at the guy to get more than one orange.

Jut going to give me one for the three of us?

They all sit and eat at the table, cutting their oranges open and peeling them.

Its perfect! We are barely into the film and I am just loving it. They had some class a writers working on it this time. That last script-what a joke.

The vet tries to take care of the animals but the way that he treats the animals isn’t flying with the chimps. Just like in the first movie!

After he leaves they start talking, they are worried and unsure what happened-but the third ape who we have no clue who he is explains that they must have gone back in time-to Taylor’s time?

This third ape cautions them not to talk and to act like humans (at least the ones in their time) as they are stuck in the LA zoo.

So in the new one they make them ape sized. I like that in these films they are human sized-it should make it obvious to these doctors that they are different, but they are just clueless humans.

So two scientists are sent to come in and study the apes. The human equivalent of Cornelius and Zira, OMgosh this had great writing!

The doctors come in and this is great, this is a total call back to the original when they were studying Taylor.

They start testing them with those ape tests they do.

This male doctor geez, its glorious to watch Zira trounce them. I can hear her thinking I have a PhD and you don’t think I can match colors. She’ s smug and sassy-perfect just like in the original.

They hang a banana in to test them, but Zira passes by building a staircase to get the banana. And then she speaks!

The female doctor , Dr. Stephanie Branton faints.

So Dr. Zira is seriously angry at how they are being treated, and I get it as I would too, but its like you guys all treated Taylor the same way. Maybe you should remember the advice you gave him.

They get really upset and so does the neighboring gorilla and it kills Dr. Milo (the third ape). Oh gee, it is super sad to lose someone we know zero about.

So the male doctor, Dr. Lewis Dixon, decides it is best for him to see the apes alone. I guess she can’t handle it.

WOW! That’s how we are going to play it? Why does the woman have to be the fainter??

So Dr. Zira and Cornelius speak to Dr. Dixon-who also happens to be an animal psychiatrist. Dr. Zira and Cornelius tell Dr. Dixon they like him, but can they trust him?

Hmm…

No you can’t trust man because they destroy what they fear and they fear you.

So there is a cabinet meeting with the president and his important people, about the ship that left only a few years ago with Colonel Taylor has been returned to them with three apes.

Colonel, that’s weird. I don’t remember them calling him colonel in the first film. Maybe he was promoted posthumously?

The president decides to have a meeting with the press the next day and to share this discovery with the world. We then switch to broadcasts around the globe and I like that the second country we see sharing the news is France as a french author wrote the book.

So all the humans are going crazy over this and the apes aren’t having an easy time either.

“Dr. Lewis Dixon: Be yourself.

Dr. Cornelius: Be your better self Zira.”

Oooo, yeah. I could see Zira just blasting everybody verbally.

Alright so they are going to have a meeting. Only bad can come from this, I’ve seen enough movies.

Dr. Dixon shares that the chimpanzees can talk and will answer questions. As the hearing starts, this is so like the first one, when they were questioning Taylor, just inside out. I love it!!!!

Chairman of the President’s Committee of Inquiry: [testing Lewis’s assertion that the apes can speak] What is your name?

Dr. Zira: Zira.

Chairman of the President’s Committee of Inquiry: One might as well be talking to a parrot.

Dr. Zira: A parrot?

Chairman of the President’s Committee of Inquiry: What did I tell you? Mechanical mimicry. Unique in an ape, vocally, without a doubt, but… does the other one talk?

Cornelius: Only when she lets me.

Dr. Milo, who conveniently died, was the one who actually salvaged and flew the plane…Really…So they can’t answer any questions about that. Unfortunately, Dr. Zira lets the cat out of the bag that they are from he future.

Now things will really get really grim!

That’s not good.

They ask about Colonel Taylor, but they say they are unsure who they speak of. I’m surprised they didn’t ask after Brent, but maybe they didn’t like him either and would rather forget him.

He’s unimportant.

Dr. Zira wants to tell the doctors the whole truth about the future as she doesn’t have the skill to lie nor does she care to. They reveal that they did know Taylor and cared for them. They share how they treat humans in their world, Dr. Branton is disgusted, but the Dr. Dixon gets hit with that fact that that is how they treat apes his time.

They reveal that when they left, they saw the planet blow up.

That’s not good.

So the white house lead scientist, Dr. Otto Hasslein (a callback to the first film when the one astronaut uses the Hasslein theory to talk about time travel) goes on a show and they discuss what happened. He believes they are from the future as thats the only explanation he finds possible.

He tries to explain it, but it is still really confusing, I mean I get it, but I think there would have been an easier way to do it, espechially as you are supposed to make it easy to understand for the viewers at him.

Meanwhile, the Apo-nauts are watching the report on TV and are given couches and chairs. They are amazed at TV as their culture does’t have any.

What is it?

So that brings me back to my original point-how did Dr. Milo know how to do anything with a rocket?

It doesn’t make any sense!

The apes are moved from the Zoo to a hotel, but isn’t it just a nicer looking prison? Like that Twilight Zone when Roddy McDowell is take from the jail to the house but it really is a zoo.

Anyways, they check out the hotel which is unlike anything they have ever seen before. Then they are taken along to see the sights in LA. You know-fitted for new clothes to match society, checking out the sights, etc.

This is all nice, but I have seen A LOOOT of movies and read A LOOOT of books. So I know this is actually-not goodAll it takes is for one person to screw up this happy sweet montage. I give you as proof-Mighty Joe Young, Fantastic Four, Teen Wolf, etc.

Everyone is amazed-talking to them, quoting, treating them like stars, etc. It actually reminds me of that Ray Bradbury story when the humans welcome the aliens and give them liquor, a parade, etc. From The Illustrated Man

They have their whole days planned out, trotting our here and there. Dr Zira at a women’s club speaking of women’s rights, Cornelius going to a prizefight and not liking it at all, etc. They are taking Dr. Zira to the Museum of Natural History and explaining everythig to her on science. Yawn, she knows this. Just wait until she sees the taxidermied apes.  This is like when Taylor saw his friend in the zoo-actually Taylor’s was worse. At least Zira didn’t know that ape.

She faints:

Curator: [in the museum, Zira sees a giant stuffed gorilla and faints] It must have been the shock!

Dr. Zira: [reviving] Shock, my foot… I’m pregnant!

Dr. Hasslein is the one helping her and brings her home to rest. He gives her wine, a lot and does it to get information out of her. He questions her and she reveals the destruction of the planet. Then nods off.

The scientist goes to the President, but the President doesn’t really care. He thinks that first of all-this will be happening thousands of years in the future. And second, he sees no point in killing three innocent lives. The scientist wants to kill them now, and keep them from destroying the world.

Dr. Otto Hasslein: [Regadring Zira, Cornelius & their baby] They must be killed… it has to be done and done quickly, before they start a stone rolling that’ll gather enough poison moss to kill us all!

The president cares more about votes and is actually a pretty great leader wanting time to think and plan and focus on what to decide what to do next. The scientist wants to destroy not just these apes, but all apes to protect our world.

Never trust a doctor, that’s what I say. Except if he is played by Michael Rennie and of course Zira and Cornelius.

The scientist does convince him to allow him to interrogate them further and they are moved to Camp 11. The Dr. Dixon goes to, as does Dr. Branton. Dr. Branton is kind of a useless character-she does nothing and says nothing. Like why don’t give her some lines or something to do.

WOW! That’s how we are going to play it?

They try to interrogate the apes, but they get nowhere. So they switch gears-they get Cornelius heated by calling the two monkeys. He shares that he suspects that something man created is the one that actually hurt the planet.

But eventually Cornelius decides to share what they learned from the historical records.

A plague comes and all the dogs and cats fall sick and die or have to be destroyed. But man can hurt man, but man hates to hurt his pets. Man also does not like to be alone and adopted apes as pets.

Cornelius: By the time the plague was contained, man was without pets. Of course, for man this was intolerable. I mean, he might kill his brother, but he could not kill his dog!

They share that apes were adopted to be pets, but so easily learned and mimiced humans-soon they were trained to do a few things. Then they were turned into slaves!

Cornelius: They became alert to the concept of slavery. And, as their numbers grew, to slavery’s antidote which, of course, is unity. At first, they began assembling in small groups. They learned the art of corporate and militant action. They learned to refuse. At first, they just grunted their refusal. But then, on an historic day, which is commemorated by my species and fully documented in the sacred scrolls, there came Aldo. He did not grunt. He articulated. He spoke a word which had been spoken to him time without number by humans. He said ‘No.’ So that’s how it all started.

So it is a little odd as in the first film no one knew anything about humans-but here Cornelius acts as if this is something that has been taught to all ape babies.

Now on one hand, in the second film the chimps were in trouble for helping Taylor, but Zauis does leave all Apedom in their control if he does not return from trying to take the human land. Maybe he let them look at the historical scrolls?

Hmmm…

They the start grilling Zira, but get nowhere. They then call Dr. Dixon and ask him to drug Zira so she will answer the questions.

Cornelius becomes upset and they force him to leave.

They wish to inject her with a truth serum and want Dr. Dixon to betray her.

Dr. Dixon injects her- YOU JUDAS! You should have stood up to them. See never trust a doctor in a horror film.

The doctor tries to remove him, but Dixon stays to make sure they don’t do anything worse to her. She revels everything-the studying the humans, the bomb, how they treat humans, etc.

The scientist sends the recordings to the commission, but that scientist is a jerk. He did that on purpose!

But life is not fair.

They decide to give Dr. Zira an abortion to try and stall the coming of ape domination and then make it so they can never have children again!

What horrible people!!!

Dr. Zira is happy that she doesn’t have to lie anymore, but Cornelius knows that things are going to go bad.

Dr. Zira finally tells Cornelius she is pregnant and he’s done.

Cornelius rushes at the orderly who brings their meal, knocks him out, and they escape out the window.

It’s amazing no one thought to put a guard on the door, but then again they keep thinking they are dumb, instead of scientists.

These humans

They escape, but Zira goes into labor. The scientists discover them missing and fan out searching.

Cornelius decides to go back and get help.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

They think that it would be better to get in trouble at least the baby would be born. But no Cornelius, they are going to kill your baby!!!!!!!!

Cornelius overhears them saying that he killed the orderly, but how? All he did was knock a tray into his face. How did he die. He didn’t even hit a wall or anything. This sounds like a means to the end of the film, more than anything else.

Cornelius gets Dr. Branton-who finally!

Finally!

She finally has a part to play. She picks him, Zira, and Dr. Dixon-and all go to the circus, run by Armando (Ricardo Montalban). I just LOVE him.  Many of you will recognize him as he the grandpa in Spy Kids and Khan in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

The couldn’t do this today as they have outlawed all animals in circuses. The apes would all just have to die.

They have the baby and name him Milo afer their lost collegue. Well gee, it was great that this ape meant so much to them but we know zip bout him. Why not name him after Lucius?

Armando wanted to take them with him to Florid, as they go in a month, but can’t with the scientists and army searching everywhere. He sends them on their way, but gives them his medal of Saint Francis, patron saint of the animals.

They go to see Heloise, his chimp who gave birth to a baby chimp a week earlier. The two stare at each other and the babies.

The doctors give them supplies and a map. Dr. Dixon asks him if he can read a map

Dr. Lewis Dixon: Can you read a map?

Cornelius: I’m an archaeologist. I can even draw one!

They send them out to the ship graveyard to hide for a week, and them hopefully they will have moved on and the the circus can smuggle them to Florida.

Cornelius knows that they will be killed if discovered, and asks for something to end their lives before they are tortured ad murdered.

This film took a dark turn.

They kiss them goodbye and run off into the night.

The police search the circus, but find no sign of the apes. And Armando annoys them enough to leave. Dr. Hasslein is having a complete and utter breakdown as the apes cannot be found. Like he is spiraling out of control, even more than usual.

You’re crazy!
Crazy, am I? We’ll see whether I’m crazy or not.

They drop the clothes off by oil riggers to throw them off and scent. The next day the police and miltary search everywhere and find the discarded suitcase. But no apes.

Dr. Hasslein searches along with a gun. He aims to shoot to kill.

He ends up finding them  at the shipyard. How I’m not quite sure-I mean as apes it isn’t the likeliest or best place for them. And LA is ginormous-I’m amazed they found them so quickly.

Meanwhile, on the ship two Cornelius and Zira are carrying on trying to find a way to make this a comfortable living situation-when unbeknownst to them death stalks the yard in the shape of Dr. Hasslein.

They try to hide as the military sends in chopper, but the deck is stacked against them. We know how this will end…in death!

Dr. Hasselein kills the baby and shoots Zira, but Cornelius gets him!

You get him Cornelius

Cornelius is shot by a sniper and all are dead.

But back at the circus we see Heloise and her baby Cesar, but the baby is not Heloise’s Cesar but Zira’s Milo. The two switched babies!!!! After all John Conner  Milo is needed to start a revolution. Armando knows this, and we end with baby Milo talking.

Yes, like in The Terminator, you can’t stop what is to come.

 

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Planet of the Apes, go to Maybe We Should Just Let the World Blow Up: Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)

For more Roddy McDowell, go to Take Your Stinking Paws Off Me, you D*** Dirty Ape!: Planet of the Apes (1968)

For more dystopian future films, go to Don’t Go in There! You Don’t Have to Die! No One Has to Die at 30! You Could Live! LIVE!: Logan’s Run (1976)

Maybe We Should Just Let the World Blow Up: Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)

“Well, that tears it. Maybe we should just let the world blow up. The gorillas, every damned… what it comes to.Maybe we should just let the world blow up. The gorillas, every d*****… what it comes to.”

So to be 100% honest I have not seen this movie in over 20 years.

What’s the heck?

Yes, while I can watch the first film over and over again and the others there are two BIG reasons why I have not watched this film again:

1) It was missing Charlton Heston. If my memory serves me right, he’s barely even in the film, just a blimp in the beginning and end.

He is why most if us are watching!

2) THIS FILM FAAAA-REAKED ME OUT! OH MYGoodness. This movie gave me nightmares-the part when they rip their skin off and the girl with the ponytail-ghdshtfgfdfmxhngbcvffz bvhfcgcg FAAAA-REAKED me out!

When I was a child Dante’s Peak was the number one scary film to me (there is a small volcanic range where I live and I was convinced after watching that movie it was going to erupt-plus thaat scene with the grandma) and then it was this one.

But I have really wanted to watch (and review) all of these in order so I will face my fears and rewatch this film. After all it has been 20 years, I’m sure it will be no big deal. Right?

In fact I have to watch our old VHS as the library has the full set but the person who has this one checked out won’t return it.

Ugh!

So Planet of the Apes was amazing and did wonderful with the box office. But because of some bad financial decisions, and films getting lackluster amounts of money: such as Hello, Dolly! (1969), Star! (1968), and Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970). They needed a win and got it with this one, but severely slashed the budget.

Yes, compared to Planet of the Apes this film has few apes in it, and the apes that are in here-have less than stellar makeup.

Hmm, I don’t know about this…

But it made Fox some serious money and saved the studio.

So our VHS has a trailer of the film before you watch the film. I remember sometimes they had that, but it is so weird to watch it today as they don’t put the trailer of the film before the film.

But it is nice that we get a brief remembrance of where the first film left off. The trailer says this movie will be the “last battle”. Hah, they don’t know that there is a Battle for Planet of the Apes coming. Fingers crossed all goes according to plan it will be posted on October 30th.

Please!

So we start with the ocean waves rolling in, calm. Then Roddy McDowell reading from the Ape Scrolls, pretty much the end of the first film. Taylor and Nova are heading off, following the shoreline with Cornelius and Dr. Zira (Kim Hunter) deciding to stay-even though they will face charges of treason.

As they journey, Taylor finds the head of the stature of liberty! They then continue to ride off into the desert and rocks.

We then cut to a crashed and broken spaceship. One man, Brent (James Franciscus), gets out with a first aid kit, trying to help out his fellow cosmonaut, Skipper. But he’s a goner, you can tell.

It is 3955 AD,  according to their time, and the two men were following Taylor. Ah! So someone was listening to his transmissions.

They seem to be in a smaller ship, but have more things and gadgets. Their computer is shot and besides that they know nothing about where or when they are. Skipper dies and Brent is all alone.

At least Taylor had his people for the first leg of the journey-this guy doesn’t know where he is, when he is, where Taylor is, where to go, and is all by himself.

Something on a horse is watching him! Just like in he first one!! But this is a woman.

Its Nova, but where is Taylor? This movie kinda reminds me of Pocahontas II when we all wanted John Smith back but they paired her up with John Rolfe-and I know it is more “historically” accurate, but still. You built the first movie up with him and then him out and throw in some young guy?!!

He sees Taylor’s name on the dogtag worn by Nova and asks Nova where Taylor is. Nova has a flashback of when she and Taylor were riding off and he was trying to teach her how to speak and gave her his dogtags. BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? WHY DO WE HAVE BRENT WHO I DON’T WANT! I didn’t want him 20 years ago and don’t want him now!!

IT’S NOT WHAT I WANT!

Sorry for the brief tantrum…let’s go back to the film. Nova flashes back again to them riding together in the desert and in the Forbidden Zone. Weird place, what the the heck the forbidden zone has fire?! And lightening!!?? Where are they? Is this real? The ground breaks apart? Is this an illusion? Taylor tries to figure this out and tells Nova that if anything happens to him to find Dr. Zira.

He walks foward and touches a rock disappearig ito thin air!

Whaaaaaaaaa? huh?

I don’t really care for this style of flashback and such-it is sooo different from the first one.

Brent just ups and jumps on the horse commanding Nova to take him to Taylor. I remember I couldn’t stand him and his character, but I don’t remember why. He hasn’t done anything really annoying? Maybe it was because he isn’t Charlton Heston.

You’re nowhere close to him…

So back at…Ape City I guess, they never say what it is called, we see something serious is going down with the gorillas. And oh man I love these costumes, so much better than CGI. Not nowhere as good as the original but the budget but whatcha gonna do when they slash your budget.

Oh, well.

Brent is not a good actor. Like it is starting to come back to me why I couldn’t stand him. He did like an Arnold OMG when he saw the apes.

Anyways the lead Gorilla, Ursus, is stirring up the crowd. Must be an election year! He’s going on about hating humans and that “he only good human is a dead human.”

That’s not good.

OMG Brent, this dude! His acting! It is soooooooooo wooden. He says “It’s a nightmare.” like how you say “Oh like it’s a cheeseburger.” Now I know why I didn’t like him.

Dr. Zira is not having it and she will not be siting idly by-that’s ’cause she rocks.

Anyways, the Forbidden Zone has been Forbidden for years-but now they know there is something there. They believe it is their holy duty to go out and take the land back-manifest destiny! Expand, invade, take the land back that is rightfully theirs!

All the apes cheer, except Zira who’s not having this crap.

Cornelius wants them to play it safe, he wants his wife to be safe. Aw. they are such a cute couple.

Ugh, Brent. This guy is not doing a good job acting. He says everything that is supposed to be shocked, like it is nothing.

Nova and Brent run and their movement spotted by a gorilla sentry, but when the gorilla shoots, he scares a bird and thinks that what caused the movement and goes on his way.

Back in Ape city, Dr. Zauis and the Gorilla leader are in a steam room talking.

Huh?

I don’t know. What is this film? Anyways, Dr. Zauis thinks they should leave the Forbidden Zone alone-but Ursus says they need to or they will starve. I don’t know why there is such an urgency. What happened to the orangutans controlling everybody? They should have explained it better with a famine or something?

Cornelius and Zira argue about what to do and like all Planet of the Apes, they are some of the best things.

As they are preparing something chocolate, can apes eat that? Nova comes in with Brent, they think he is Taylor at first (all look like right) and Brent introduces himself and that he is looking for Taylor.

OMG Brent, this dude is killing me. He’s talking to human size, intellectual, chimpanzees, who aer in the middle of  baking and  he acts like it’s no big deal. He’s just like whatever. THE first movie was sooooooo much better, Charlton Heston was so much better.

Who hired this dude?

Sorry don’t mean to be rude I’m sure you did good in other stuff, but you are just sucking in this movie. The dislike and hate I had for you as a seven year old is all coming back.

Can he, can he just leave and we have Charlton Heston back. Like who came up with this idea?!!!! Who hired him? Who said that take was good?

So Cornelius goes over the map with Brent to try and figure out where Taylor might be. While it was Roddy McDowell in the beginning of the film, Cornelius’ voice sounds off. Let me look it up…

I’m stumped.

It’s not Roddy McDowell? What?????????????????????? He has something else he was involved in.

I’m not happy…

Dr. Zauis comes to speak to them and sees the bloody rag Zira was using on Brent and she pretends Cornelius hit her. Uh, what?

And thenDr. Zauis is all for that. What the? Who decided on that? What is this?

Anyways, Dr. Zauis says that he and the gorillas are going to go into the Forbidden Zoe and Zauis doesn’t want them to. He doesn’t want the “truth” to be found as he wants them to continue the way things are. But if he doesn’t return from the expedition, he is bestoeing them in charge and asks them to preserve the ape way of life.

Like this makes zero sense!!! They have outright opposed him! And they WANT the truth to be told? Why would he pick them out of everybody? Doesn’t he have a lackey? Did ANY of these writers watch the first film and see WHY it was so awesome?

So they warn Brent that he needs not to talk if caught by gorillas as they will dissect him. They give him “clothes for for humans”; and Brent is just dumb.  He says “why would I talk to a gorilla.”

Ughhh…Brent.

This dude!!!!

He changes his clothes and he and Nova ride off on a horse to try and find Taylor. And they get not like five seconds of riding- gorillas find them and the horse is dead. Wooooooooow!!!! Brent you suck.

Really, really?

I’m out!

The gorillas storm after them and capture the two. The gorillas seem to have a lot more power in this film, in fact we hardly ever see an orangutan. Gee it sure would be nice if they gave us more info on what happened!!!

They get thrown in a cage like in the first film.

The next day we get to see the Gorilla’s practicing their maneuvers and training. Some gorillas are just casually tossing about a monolith. No its not that big, but still it was a ginormous rock. They should be superape strong.

Sorry!

Brent gets thrown into Zira’s lab. She is surprised to see him but secretly in her mind I’m sure she us thinking- this man sucks. You got like three steps before you got captured. She tries to keep them for study but Gorilla-Hitler, I mean Ursus, wants them for target practice.

So Zira lets them go in the cart to be carried away after she “double locks the door” jeez the gorillas really must be all brawn and no brains. How do you double lock a door? You lock or unlock it.

Brent gets out and fights with the gorilla on top of the moving cart but there isn’t any music. I mean it is a pretty cool action scene-but they didn’t add a score or anything, we just hear the cart going down the road. Weird. Guess music didn’t make it on their budget.

Maybe that’s why they only had a few scenes wit Charlton Heston hr was too expensive (BTW he donated his salary to charity).

So Brent defeated the gorilla, yeah I’m surprised he could do anyting right too and he and Nova take off on the horses-oh and look right back into the gorillas again. There’s the Brent we know, the sucky one. Jeez, this guy is dumb. Man he a serious damsel in distress, he keeps getting captured.

Except I can’t

So yes Taylor was captured twice in the Planet of the Apes film. First time they had just arrived on the planet and  in the second he was trying to escape the city, but at least we got to see the whole set and have an awesome scene revealing he could talk. He didn’t run, get captured, run, get captured, etc. Then when he escaped the final time he didn’t get caught, he took Dr. Zauis prisoner.

So they escape to the desert and find a cave, but inside there is tile. Hmm..? There is also a cement wall/door with an image of a moon on it. What is this?

Huhhhhhhh

He looks some more and finds it used to be Queensboro PlazaUh, I’m sure this is supposed to be the big reveal for him, but first of all-its not that big a deal. I mean in the other one we had the stature of liberty’s head!!!! Her head!!! Was she blown up? Taken down by a new race! We don’t know but it was by something bad.

This is a subway station in Queens. Well whoop-de-doo. Seriously-what if he saw pieces of the Empire State Building or Times Square or something New York! I mean nothing will be as big a WHAAAAAT!!!! moment as the Statue of Liberty’s head, but seriously a subway station?

And what does Brent say when he sees it? “Oh gee, this used to be my home.” Bfffffffqwwwwww!Really?

I hate Brent. I wish the apes had used you as target practice.

So we see ape church and they pray before they head out to the Forbidden Zone (okay every time I write that all I can imagine is the Beast’s voice saying forbidden-sorry had to share)

A group of Chimps have a peace protest on front of the gorllas. I wonder of Lucius is one. I miss him.

The gorillas come in and pull  them out “quietly” and lock them all up in the animal, I mean human cages. Ouch, these apes are way harsher in judgement. You don’t see police taking people down to the pound to be put in kennels.

Ouch

So Brent is sitting and staring into space then…ugh, Brent just annoys me. He just has to breathe and is annoying. How long until Charlton Heston comes back?

Please be soon! Please be soon! Please be soon!

So Brent peeks out of the cave and spots a gorilla patrol. He waits until they move and then is going to leave when he hears a strange humming sound. He decides to follow it…because? Reasons, I guess?

Why?

He goes down the subway tracks and he discovers the humming comes from a device. It stops when he touches the ladder. So he decides to climb up, followed by Nova and down a tubular walkway. This is actually kinda creepy as every passage looks the same but you have no clue where you are going or what awaits you on the other side.

They climb out of a tunnel and there is the New York Public Library and the Stock Exchange, all would have been a much cooler reveal that the Queensboro plaza. Not hating just saying! (Actually no, I am hating)

I’m not happy

There is a cathedral and Brent drinks the holy water thats been sitting there for who knows how long. Really Brent, really? Didn’t you learn to never drink standing water? Like how did you pass any survival skills classes?

Dude seriously. This dude is so annoying.

I HATE this character!

So a loud buzzing noise comes and Bret starts acting weird wanting to kill Nova. He manages to fight against it and stop himself, but the voice is in his head as he backs into the chapel where the noise gets louder and then disappears. Why? Who knows!

Here’s the part of the film that is ingrained in my mind. In the chapel is a giant bomb and a man kneeling before it, his god.

Brent speaks to him, questing what is going on. The mole people, I mean the people beneath the planet of the apes speak with telepathy. Brent is taken from the Cathedral to the tribunal.

That’s not good.

They think he is a spy and question him. Its kind of weird because we don’t hear their voices it i just Brent answering them, ugh Brent.

Meh.

They continue to interrogate him and Brent sings like a canary. He can’t do anything right.

The stop with telepathy as they can speak verbally. He tells them that the bomb isn’t a god,but they say it is a holy weapon of peace. Yeah an anti-war vibe is really strong in this film. It was the ’70s after all.

They think that Brent is from the apes, bit Brent is like I don’t know.

Hate him!

These humans have mutant powers like telepathy, fire, etc…what a second.

Human mutants with abilities! OMG Brent found the morlocks!

Anyway their “peaceful weapons” are to destroy the “murderous apes”. Brent tries to talk reason but they don’t listen. They can’t use their telepathy on the apes which upsets them.

They bring Nova in and use their powers to make Brent kiss and strangle Nova.  This movie is a mess.

What’s going on?

We switch back to apes, thank goodness who are storming the forbidden zone. They arrive and the people play tricks on their mind. They see apes in agony hanging upside down, fire, their lawgiver god on fire, then bleeding, etc.

Dr.Xauis become angry and rides into the fire and stone, but survives. The illusion melts away.

They head toward the old New York City. Meanwhile, under the city the people are preparing a communion and church service. They kneel before the bomb praying to it.

They prepare the bomb and only need to press the button to let it go. Brent and Nova were forced to attend as well. And here is the scene were they reveal their innermost self and remove their skin.

This is still FAAAA-REKY! I’ll admit, I screamed whe I saw it again. Mghrtyghfkyfv!

All are excused to go to their shelters. They put their faces back on. They tell Brent they hope him witnessing their services convinces him they are only for peace. They take them to a cell and who’s in there? TAYLOR!

FINALLY!!!!

They talk, but then the guard uses his mind control to try and make them fight. Brent starts first because he’s more weak minded.

The two fight and and this feels weird as the only sound is like a buzz saw cutting wood-the mind control, It is so weird that this movie has like no score.

Taylor knocks Brent into the wall, sand the guards don’t like this “boring” gladiator battle so they toss a spike club onto the cell.

Nova manages to get away from her attacker and goes charging down to try and stop them-shouting out her first word “Taylor” and breaking the concentration and mind control.

They kill the guard by ramming him on the spiky cell. I remember this scene vividly! As he dies he removes his skin to show his innermost self. fgagfdguhij!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Like Taylor seriously wounded Brent and he should be waaaaay worse off, but he is only slightly wounded. Brent tells him about the bomb and how it had alpha and omega on it.

Taylor recognizes it as a doomsday bomb created in his time. Remember when he mentioned at the beginning of Planet of the Apes?

George Taylor : This much is probably true – the men who sent us on this journey are long since dead and gone. You who are reading me now are a different breed – I hope a better one. I leave the 20th century with no regrets. But one more thing – if anybody’s listening, that is. Nothing scientific. It’s purely personal. But seen from out here everything seems different. Time bends. Space is boundless. It squashes a man’s ego. I feel lonely. That’s about it. Tell me, though. Does man, that marvel of the universe, that glorious paradox who sent me to the stars, still make war against his brother? Keep his neighbor’s children starving?

Meanwhile the apes are continuing and it is lame we don’t have more Zira and Cornelius. I love them but they are hardly in his.

I’m not happy

The apes find the passageway to the subway and start down it exploring. Meanwhile, the guys are trying to break free when the apes enter the city, shootig at any human that they see.

The guys manage to finally get themselves free and grab spare clubs from the wall and attack a gorilla with Nova being killed. AW!

Taylor is angry enough to want all to die, but Brent convinces him to stop the bomb.

Taylor: [as Nova slowly dies, gunned down by a gorilla] Well, that tears it. Maybe we should just let the world blow up. The gorillas, every damned… what it comes to.

John Brent: [Intense, full of fury] Taylor, come on. Come on!

Taylor: Yeah.

The apes storm the cathedral with our two spacemen hot on their trails.The leader speaks to them, shocking all as humans talk and lets the bomb go. They shoot him and then try to shoot the bomb.

Taylor and Brent creep along, trying not to be shot but reach the control panel to stop the bomb. And THEY SHOOT TAYLOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brent shoots a bunch of apes, wow he can actually do something right.

I’m surprised

Dr. Zauis is shocked to see Taylor and does’t want to help him.

Brent is killed. Taylor is angry at Zauis and reaches out accidentally setting the bomb off, Everything whites out and we get end narration.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeelllll...I didn’t like it. The cut budget really makes this pale in comparison to the other film. This script is all over the place! Brent-don’t get  started on his character or his lackluster the acting, the characters we love from the original are all missing, and the whole power structure and motivation of the apes as a whole has seriously changed-but we don’y get any reason why! This whole thing was pretty lackluster.

Now did it still freak me out? YES! The skin ripping off scenes are still just as creepy as they were 20 years ago. Please don’t let it give me any nightmares tonight!!!

So that is the end of the Planet of the Apes. At least until next Wednesday (Fingers crossed)

I hope I can do it.

And the facebook banner:

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Planet of the Apes, go to Take Your Stinking Paws Off Me, you D*** Dirty Ape!: Planet of the Apes (1968)

For more Charlton Heston, go to Work Will Always Be There But You Might Not Be: The Greatest Show on Earth (1952)

For more Roddy McDowell, go to That Darn Cat

For more dystopian future films, go to Don’t Go in There! You Don’t Have to Die! No One Has to Die at 30! You Could Live! LIVE!: Logan’s Run (1976)

 

 

Don’t Go in There! You Don’t Have to Die! No One Has to Die at 30! You Could Live! LIVE!: Logan’s Run (1976)

NO! Don’t go in there! You don’t have to die! No one has to die at 30! You could live! LIVE! Live, and grow old! I’ve seen it! She’s seen it!

The first time I heard of this film was when I was watching The Island with my mom, she kept saying that the film reminded her of Logan’s Run. While I think The Island is more like The 6th Day, it does take quite a bit from this film. So does that Justin Timberlake, Olivia Wilde, and Amanda Seyfried film and that one Matt Damon time movie.

Yes, none of those could be made if it wasn’t for this film.

This is based off a book and had high class special effects for the time, my mom was telling me how watching it for that first time on the big screen, it just blew everyone away.

Wow!

The film is set in 2274 and people live in this doomed domed city, all their life revolves around is pleasure, like the city in Metropolis.

Pleasure Garden

No sickness, diseases, pain, suffering, etc-just sex, play, and everyone dies at 30, unless they can be lucky enough to get to carousal and renew.

To make sure people accept their fate at 30, they have a police force-called Sandmen. They hunt the “runners”, those that try to escape.

When everyone is born they have a jewel on their palm. They start out white, then become yellow, from there they turn green, then red, then black and flash when their time is up.

Logan (Michael York) is a sandman and in his red period, 26 years old. We first see him when he is looking at his son Logan in the nursery. In this time men donate their seed, women give birth, and children are raised separately from their parents-the only thing they have from them is their name-boys take their father’s name and girls their mother’s name. Now this is an interesting scene, because even though Logan acts like a Sandman we see there is a part of him that doesn’t quite match up with how this world works. He goes to see his child-something his friend finds odd as no one ever does that.

Logan: [tapping on a glass window of maternity room] Wake up.

Francis: Logan, you are here. I couldn’t believe it when they told me. What are you doing?

Logan: [indicates baby] Logan 6. Well it’s not everyday that they authorize a new sandman. I tell you Francis…[indicating babythat’s him.

Francis: Well maybe, maybe not. What does it matter? Anyway, he isn’t yours anymore.

[Logan continues to tap lightly on the glass]

It reminds me of Fahrenheit 451, how Montag was a fireman and did what they were supposed to do-but there was something different about him, something in his foundation that opened himself to Clarisse’s wondering and changed.

So anyways, Logan goes about his day as normal, watch people try to renew and fail, kill those running, then go home and drink, get high, and swipe left or right for sex.

That last part though, it actually sounds quite a bit like today…

Spooky…

Seriously, you call people up on the circuit, they materialize, and you guys decide if you are going to be together or not. This night Logan meets Jessica, a green-wearing girl (younger than him) wearing an ankh necklace.

Stop, that is important to the plot. Remember it.

Jessica (Jenny Agutter) is sad, as a close friend of hers tried to reach “renewal” but didn’t, he died. She went on the circuit to distract herself, but has changed her mind. She isn’t interested.

Logan: Killed? Why do you use that word?

Jessica: Isn’t that what you do? Kill?

Logan: I’ve never killed anyone in my life. Sandman terminate runners. What’s your name?

Jessica: Jessica.

Logan: You’re sad enough. You’re beautiful. Let’s have sex.

Jessica: No.

Logan: Then why are you wasting my time, hmmm? Why did you put yourself on the circuit?

Jessica: I thought I had to do something. I told you it was a mistake. And I’ve changed my mind.

Logan: Because I’m a Sandman? Am I your first?

Jessica: Yes. And I’m curious.

But she’s got into him. The way she talked about his job, and sandmen has got him thinking…

Hmm…

Like I said before, this film really reminds me of Fahrenheit 451. As Jessica challenges the way Logan looks at things, just like Clarisse did for Montag. From that first meeting-their whole life changes. The book Fahrenheit 451 was published in 1953 and the film came out in 1966, so it is easy to see how it influenced this film.

But-back to the story. So Jessica leaves, and Logan and his best pal and coworker, Francis, have fun with some other ladies and drugs.

Forget that girl…or can he?

Another day, Logan and Francis take down a runner and Logan recovers an ankh symbol. When he and Francis turn over the evidence and items they find off the runners, EVERYTHING CHANGES!

This is going to get good…

When he drops the ankh down, the computer freaks out and creepily calls him over to sit.

I wouldn’t!!

He has started Procedure 033-03. The computer tells him over 1600 people have run and found sanctuary. They don’t know where they go but that the ankh is what they use to find/get to sanctuary,

Logan questions the computer and discovers that there is no “renewal” and “carousal”. They all die.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOGAN, STOP! YOU KNOW TOO MUCH!! THEY ARE GOING TO KILL YOU!!!! RUN NOW!!!!

But of course he doesn’t. The computer gives him his mission to find sanctuary, changes his light so that his time is now up and he has to “run.”

OF COURSE it has to be a secret and he CAN’T TELL ANYONE, really?

This is like Departed-level bad idea. Jeez, no pne knows about you except two of us-one who does, and the other who gets fired so no one is going to help you!

So Logan calls up Jessica again to try and get her to help him, as he remembers she has the ankh symbol too. Jessica, however, is much smarter than Logan thought. She doesn’t really believe him as “sandmen never run”. He does all he can, but her group plots to murder him as he knows too much. Before they accomplish it, Logan gets a call to get a runner thats going through the chapel, the place they keep the wild children. Jessica decides to go with him.

So I’m going to test him.

There they have to fight a band of Lost Boys/Lord of the Flies type guys-who Logan’s manages to outsmart. Logan finds the runner and lets her go, showing that he is on Jessica’s side. This does exactly what he hopes it would, completely convinces her that he is serious.

Unbeknownst to them, Francis has been following Logan to help him, but saw that his time is up and that he let the woman go. Now he is prepared to end him.

But aren’t any more!

Logan remembers that the runner he killed the other day had just been given a face change, in order to help him be harder to track. He decides that is his next stop, accompanied by Jessica.

They get there, where the Doctor’s assistant is played by Farrah Fawcett!

That’s how you know you are in the ’70s! They prepare for the face change, but then the Doctor gets a phone call. The phone call is from the others in the sanctuary group and when he comes back, to operate, he turns his machine on all crazy as Logan finds himself in a real jam.

But of course Logan defeats the doctor and afterwards, he and Jessica run some more, and she takes him to where her people meet. They decide to help him, but he reveals the location on his walkie-talkie and the sandmen come and decimate everyone. Logan realizes his mistake and he and Jessica try to flee.

They run out and think they find sanctuary, but instead run into a frozen ice lair with a crazy robot named Box that freezes escapees and turns them into food for the city.

Yeah I know what you are thinking:

Yes, this came after Soylent Green so it is borrowing a lot of elements.

They manage to escape and find a beautiful outside. Sun? Fresh air? No dome? Also their life clocks have been renewed and reset to white.

They find the old buildings of Washington D.C. and in one is an old man with a ton of cats.

Boom, life goal right there. That’s who I want to be.

You know, minus the dystopian future, war, empty world, people dying when they reach 30, etc.

But things don’t stay that way as Francis comes and Logan has to fight him.

They decide after that to go back and help the others, taking the old man with them as proof.

Logan: NO! Don’t go in there! You don’t have to die! No one has to die at 30! You could live! LIVE! Live, and grow old! I’ve seen it! She’s seen it! [shows the crystal on his palm] Well, look! LOOK! LOOK, IT’S CLEAR!

[crowd laughs]

Computer: Last day, Capricorn 29’s. Year of the City: 2274. Carousel begins.

Jessica: No! Don’t! Don’t go! Listen to him! He’s telling the truth!

[more laughter]

Jessica: We’ve been outside! There’s another world outside! We’ve seen it!

[Sandmen grab them]

Logan: Life clocks are a lie! Carousel is a lie! THERE IS NO RENEWAL!

So I really enjoyed it! There are a lot of elements borrowed from other films-but a whole lot more films borrow from it, so it evens out.

And the facebook banner!

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more dystopian futures, go to Take Your Stinking Paws Off Me, you D*** Dirty Ape!: Planet of the Apes (1968)

For more on cats, go to Cats, Books, & Tea