Once, There Was Even a Man Who Had Scissors for Hands: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

So every year we review a Vincent Price film. Here we go!

Once, there was even a man who had scissors for hands

What?

Yes I said that right, Vincent Price.

Many of you may not know this, but this was Vincent Price’s last film. When I first saw this, I actually knew about Vincent Price than Johnny Depp.

In fact Vincent Price was supposed to have more screentime, but unfortunately was very ill at and they had to cut back on those scenes. Sad for us.

We didn’t get as much

This also fills another yearly notch, a Tim Burton film.

I have always loved Edward Scissorhands

So let’s not wait any longer. On with the review.

So the film starts off with a grandma, Kim Boggs (Winona Ryder) telling her granddaughter a story-of a man with scissors for hands.

Flashback years ago-Peg Boggs is the Avon lady, along with being kindest and sweetest woman ever. She tries to sell in her Suburban neighborhood but none are interested.

She’s finally reached the end of her rope-but then spots the creepy, spooky castle that exists at the end of the block. She decides to go in there and that is when everything changes.

Inside the worn and crumbling mansion-which she enters by herself! Very unsafe-and meets Edward.

Edward was created by the Inventor, but is unfinished-he still has scissors for hands.

Peg feels bad for him and takes him home with her-he meets her husband Bill (Alan Arkin), who is completely checked out and doesn’t see or hear anything, and son Kevin. Kevin is fascinated by Edward and wants to show him off.

That’s awesome

As many times as I have watched this I am just amazed with the character of Peg. She reminds me of the mom in My Boyfriend’s Back, but sweeter, kinder, and not nearly as psychotic. She is always encouraging and helping Edward.

Peg Boggs: Are you alone? Do you live up here all by yourself? What happened to your face? No, I won’t hurt you. But at the very least, let me give you a good astringent. And this will help to prevent infection. What’s your name?

Edward: Edward.

Peg Boggs: Edward… I think you should just come home with me.

And if anyone tries to say anything about him, she will go mama bear on them.

Audience Member #3: But if you had regular hands you’d be like everyone else.

Edward: Yes, I know.

Host-TV: I think he’d like that.

Audience Member #4: Then no one would think you’re special. You wouldn’t be on TV or anything.

Peg Boggs: No matter what, Edward will always be special.

So Pegg let’s Edward stay in her daughter’s room while she is camping with friends on her waterbed. Really Peg, he has scissors for hands!

Anyways, the neighbors are fascinated and want to take a look at him, forcing themselves on them with a BBQ.

Edward starts trying to get used to living with people. If you carefully watch Edward in the beginning he is moving his hands all over-but as he watches the others and as the movie progresses learns to better control his hands and be more humanlike.

And I do have to say I like the costume of Edward. I like Buster Keaton look carrying over from Benny & Joon and his Cure/Tim Burton-inspired hair. It wouldn’t always work, but it does on him.

So Edward is a hit, especially after he starts creating colorful topiaries.

Kim returns home from her trip in the mountains with her boyfriend Jim (Anthony Michael Hall). The first time I saw this-I didn’t recognize him. I don’t what he did but he went from major nerd in the ’80s to playing football jocks in the ’90s. I  always think if him as being one of the lucky three who were able to go from “nerd” to “heartthrob”-him, John Cusack, and Patrick Dempsey.

Kim returns home after “camping” and goes to her room-only to find Edward. Proof why scissors and waterbeds don’t work out.

From lawns Edward goes into animal haircuts.

And here he becomes an even bigger sensation. But not everyone loves him.

Poor Edward-hopefully in love with Kim and he really is. At this time Depp and Ryder starting dating and even got engaged-and you can just see in his eyes how much he cares for her. In fact, re-watching it this time I realize they spend hardly any screentime together, but can carry the romance in their looks, body language, tone, etc.

Here is where we get a slight look into Tim Burton. The eccentric, weird kid in love with the cheerleader but the jock keeping them apart? Hmm…

Anyways, Edward keeps trying. Kevin takes him to school for show-and-tell, he is always there to lend a blade, and then begins haircuts.

Edward Scissorhands in Wonderland

In fact the scene when he first cuts hair is a wink at Sweeney Todd, which Tim Burton and Johnny Depp would make years later.

The sweetest thing is when Edward is going to cut Peg’s hair-he makes it extra special and neat for her-his mom. Aw.

Very cute

With all this Edward goes on TV and the idea of opening his own business is brought up.

Neighbor Joyce is going to help and takes him to the area where they will be having the salon. She then strips and assaults him. Edward flees and Joyce is very upset.

I’m out!

Peg is going to help Edward and takes him to the bank-but here is where I realize I am an adult. I mean I know I am one, after all I’m six and twenty-but here is where I KNOW. My first response was how will he get a loan? He has no social security card, birth certificate, anything. Poor Edward is sad and they are unsure what to do next.

Now let me take a moment here and just go over Vincent Price’s role in the film. Throughout the movie we have flashbacks to when Edward was first created. The Inventor (Vincent Price) has an assembly line making cookies. As he enjoys them he gets the idea to make his son-Edward.

I love these scenes as they are so endearing and said. What would have been if the creator lived. I love Vincent Price’s voice as well. I could just listen to him speak for hours.

One day Kim forgets her key and they are locked out of the house. Edward opens the door by picking the lock and Jim gets the idea to use Edward to rob his house. You see JIm is a Neanderthal that instead of getting a job to get his own car wants his dad to do it. And if dad refuses-well then the only way is to rob his house. What a baby-WAH BOO HOO I can’t get my way let’s make dad pay for it.

They lie to Edward that a guy stole Jim’s stuff and want to get it back. Kim feels bad and wants to stop, but they don’t listen to her. Instead-they go but when the alarm goes off abandon him.

Kim is angry wanting to go back, but they don’t listen to her and she doesn’t do anything. Now I like Kim, but she never tells the truth. It makes me so angry-all this awful things keep happening to Edward afterwards and they could have stopped it if she had just told the truth.

Very disappointed in you Kim.

So Edward is taken to jail and held until Peg and Bill can pick him up. After that he is a pariah. No one wants to be around him, have him cut their lawn, dog, or hair.

Kim gets angry with Jim, but he just taunts her with how she hasn’t said anything. Edward sees this and becomes even more angry as he did it for Kim and she is still with the jerk.

He gets depressed and ruins his creations-he also gets angsty and messes up the walls.

Peg is awesome-she continues to be there for Edward. She has him keep giving her haircuts to make him feel better. Se sweet.

So cute

All comes to a head on Christmas. Edward and Kim have grown closer. He works on an ice sculpture and accidentally nicks Kim. Jim comes and chases Edward off who goes on a rage destroying shrubbery.

Kim is done with Jim and he storms off drinking with his friend.

Kim’s hand is taken care of by her mom and it wasn’t a serious wound just a small one. They worry about Edward and go off to find him leaving Kim to wait in case he comes back or the neighbors come for the party.

Edward returns and they have a good moment, broken when a drunken Jim comes racing down the street and almost hits Kevin. Edward runs and pushes Kevin out of the way before he gets killed. But by doing so nicks Kevin, especially as Kevin doesn’t know what is going on.

Jim comes and tries to attack Edward, who nicks him too. Edward then storms off-followed by Kim. Meanwhile like in every monster movie the neighborhood storms together creating a mob to converge on Edward.

Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!

In the mansion Kim approaches Edward, ecstatic that he is alive, but just like in Beauty and the Beast, Jim the jerk followed them and tries to kill Edward. He was going to shoot him-but Kim intercedes. Edward had not planned on doing anything-but when Jim slaps Kim he becomes angry and stabs Jim-throwing him out the window.

Kim and Edward see the dead body and know the mob won’t stop until Edward is dead. Kim kisses Edward and says good-bye.

Noooo!

Downstairs, the people are calling for Edward’s blood. Kim notices a machine and grabs a scissorhand-using it as proof that Edward is dead. She tells them it is all over.

This scene definitely has a Nightmare on Elm Street feel to it with the scissors-which Johnny Depp is also in.

That ends it and all goes back to how it should be-except the Boggs family. Years pass and they all move on-but Kim always remembers Edward.

And Edward never forgets her. His garden growing and he’s making an ice sculpture of Kim to grace his garden.

Such a great story with a gentle sweet character. I love this film and could just continue to watch it over and over again.

And this little extra for you guys!

To start Horrorfest VII from the beginning, go to It’s the End of the World: The Birds (1963)

For the previous post, go to Do You Ever Feel Like Your Life Has Turned into Something You Never Intended?: Nocturnal Animals (2016)

For more Edward Scissorhands, go to I Did It for You: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

For more Tim Burton, go to He’s Married to a Corpse. He Has A Corpse Bride!: Corpse Bride (2005)

For more Vincent Price, go to They’re Coming for Me Now…And Then They’ll Come for You: House on Haunted Hill (1959)

For more Johnny Depp, go to It was a Horseman, a Dead One. Headless: Sleepy Hollow (1999)

For more Winona Ryder, go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more Anthony Michael Hall, go to Don’t You Forget About Me

For more teen monster films, go to I Died for You! I Came Back from the Dead for You! I Love You!: My Boyfriend’s Back (1993)

I Did It for You: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Most Romantic Moment #1

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

So I’ve been meaning to review this film for Horrorfest since October 2012, but just haven’t gotten around to it. How funny that it’s first appearance was Christmas and second Valentine’s Day.

Edward Scissorhands (Johnny Depp) was created by the Inventor (Vincent Price) who lives in a castle at the end of suburbia. Before he could complete Edward and give him hands, he passed away.

Edward has been living alone until he is found by Avon Lady, Peg Boggs. She decides to take him home to her house to take care of him: introducing him to her husband, son Kevin, and daughter Kim (Winona Ryder). Having lived home alone he doesn’t have a lot of social skills or understand things such as sarcasm.

They throw a big party for the neighborhood to meet him and all like him, especially as they see his lawn trimming capabilities. He then grows from lawn work to dog grooming to hair styling.

The only one who doesn’t care for Edward is Jim, Kim’s boyfriend. Jim wants money to buy a van for  him and Kim, but his father won’t give him any more. Jim comes up with a plan to break into his father’s house, using Edward to get in.

Not good

They do and the alarm goes off. Everyone runs away and Edward takes the blame. After that everyone shuns Edward. Everything comes to a head one Christmas. In the end will Edward be able to find love, his place, and create more art?

Most Romantic Moment: I Did It Because You Asked Me to

So Edward gets caught in the burglary, Jim having done it on purpose, and everyone hates him and speaks badly about him.

Kim talks to him, sorry for what occurred and sorry she didn’t do anything to assist him. She is also sorry for who the house belongs to.

But Edward reveals he knew that all along.

Here is a guy that understands very little of how people talk and the secret meanings we might have underneath things; such as sarcasm, often thought of like a kid. But he knew what was going on, and even though he knew, he did it anyway.

Aw!

He would have done anything that Kim asked him to do, because he loves her.

Kim: You’re here… They didn’t hurt you, did they? [Edward shakes his head] Were you scared? I tried to make Jim go back, but, you can’t make Jim do anything. Thank you for not telling them that we…

Edward: You’re welcome.

Kim: It must have been awful when they told you whose house it was.

Edward: I knew it was Jim’s house.

Kim: You… you did?

Edward: Yes.

Kim: …Well, then why’d you do it?

Edward: Because you asked me to.

For more Edward Scissorhands, go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more on Johnny Depp, go to It was a Horseman, a Dead One. Headless: Sleepy Hollow (1999)

For more Tim Burton, go to He’s Married to a Corpse. He Has A Corpse Bride!: Corpse Bride (2005)

You Can’t Kill It, It Always Comes Back

So Horrorfest V is over.

I know. It is hard to let go of October.

But while Horrorfest is over for now, you can never truly kill it. It always comes back. Specifically next October with Horrorfest VI. 

It never ceases to amaze me how every October I plan out 26 film reviews, 4 TV reviews, and one post on my personal thoughts; yet what I start off with never matches up with the end result.

So let’s go over what this Horrorfest V was all about.

So I started planning my Horrorfest with lots of ’40s films, but it ended up being all about the ’80s. What can I say? You know I love it.

I LOVE the ’80s

We had Ghostbusters, Thriller, Cat’s Eye, Once Bitten, Teen Wolf, and Clue

And you all remember how I said I wanted to do something different this year? Well I did. This was the most I have ever reviewed Horror-Comedies.

It is horrorfying and funny at the same time!

We had Ghostbusters, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, Once Bitten, Clue, and Teen Wolf.

My free post, on whatever horror thing I wished to write about, was 31 tips on How to Survive a Horror Film. I got the idea last year, but couldn’t put it into play until this year. I hope it was helpful. 🙂

So Alfred Hitchcock,

we only covered one of his films, and it was one of the oldest ones he created. I strayed from what had become a tradition of three as I felt I didn’t want to use his works too quickly. Which film will I review next year? I’m not sure. I was toying with maybe doing one of his last films like Frenzy or Family Plot. Then again, The Birds have been on my list from the beginning and I still haven’t reviewed it. I guess we will see what happens next year.

So we reviewed a TV episode every Friday in October. This year we had a serial killer Wallace & Gromit episode, a cannibalistic killer in Bones, a murderer in Death Comes to Pemberley, and a teenage boy with incredible powers in Star Trek.

We also had our Turtle Saturdays

Starting with the 2014 version, to 2007, and then going over the original 1990 version and its sequel in 1991. It might not be what most consider horror, but I think it works as each film involves mutation, two have monsters, and one a whole lot of scientific experiments.

So we saw a group of monsters I haven’t really spent a whole lot of posts reviewing, and that is:

Zombies!

We started with the Corpse Bride; then went on to the first zombie film, White Zombie; and ended on Michael Jackson’s Thriller. I had thought about doing Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, but as I haven’t reviewed the book I decided to wait on the film.

Then we had our usual Stephen King film, with Cat’s Eye. Not one I’d planned on reviewing, but happened to see and add to the lineup.

Who knew?

I finally got around to taking on a Tim Burton film, and actually reviewed two, not one. We had the Corpse Bride and Sleepy Hollow. Still haven’t done Edward Scissorhands. Maybe next year.

We also did a lot of teen monster films. There was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with teen turtles; Thriller with teen zombies; Once Bitten with teen vampires; and a teen werewolf in Teen Wolf.

We also had vampires and Dracula coming back with Once Bitten, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, and Dracula 2000.

This Horrorfest was very different than the ones prior as I reviewed a lot of films and TV shows I had never seen before such as: Wallace & Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death, When a Stranger Calls (1979), Jeepers Creepers, Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter, Cat’s Eye, Death Comes to Pemberley, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, Backfire, Dial 1119, Let Me Call You Sweetheart, Corpse Bride, The Cheerleader Murders, & The Girl on the Train; along with films and TV shows I hadn’t seen in years, such as: Fantasia: Night on Bald Mountain and Sleepy Hollow. That was about half the reviews!

AMAZING!

This also was the first time I could really include Jane Austen in my Horrorfest, not with a made up post but actually review an Austen item.

I was planning on reviewing Pride & Prejudice & Zombies along with Death Comes to Pemberley, but as I said before, I decided to push it back.

And then there is Vincent Price

I reviewed two films with him: Thriller and the film I have been talking about reviewing since the first Horrorfest, House on Haunted Hill. 

So if you missed a day, or are interested in every item I covered; here is the complete list:

How To Survive A Horror Film

You’re a Detective, Let Me Give You a Tip. Don’t Wave Important Evidence in a Telephone Booth. They Have Glass Windows: Blackmail (1929)

Those Aren’t Men They Are the Living Dead: White Zombie (1932)

Night on Bald Mountain: Fantasia (1940)

We’ve Seen Dracula, the Wolf Man, and Frankenstein’s Monster: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

It’s A Hard World: Backfire (1950)

The Mad Killer: Dial 1119 (1950)

They’re Coming for Me Now…And Then They’ll Come for You: House on Haunted Hill (1959)

What I Think You Will Think…You are Fully Under My Control: Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter (1966)

 I Can Make You all Go Away! Any Time I Want To!: Charlie X, Star Trek (1966)

Have You Checked the Children: When a Stranger Calls (1979)

No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

That’s What We’re Trying to Find out! We’re Trying to Find Out Who Killed Him, and Where, and With What!: Clue (1985)

I Don’t Want to Be a Vampire. I’m a Day Person: Once Bitten (1985)

I’m…a Werewolf: Teen Wolf (1985)

I’ll Be Watching You: Cat’s Eye (1987)

I Came Upon a Shattered Glass Jar and Four Baby Turtles Crawling into a Strange Glowing Ooze: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

But If Any of It Fell Into the Wrong Hands…:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II, Secret of the Ooze (1991)

That Face-I’ve Seen Her Before…: Let Me Call You Sweetheart (1997)

It was a Horseman, a Dead One. Headless: Sleepy Hollow (1999)

Dracula. Not Myth, Nor Ravings of a Mad Irish Novelist, Oh No, He’s Real: Dracula 2000 (2000)

Every Twenty-Third Spring for Twenty Three Days, it Gets to Eat: Jeepers Creepers (2001)

He’s Married to a Corpse. He Has A Corpse Bride!: Corpse Bride (2005)

Every Three Thousand Years, the Stars Align. Unleashing an Army of Monsters: TMNT (2007)

A Matter of Loaf and Death: Wallace and Gromit (2008)

The Butcher of Burtonsville High: The Death of the Queen Bee, Bones (2010)

A Murder Has Been Committed on Your Property: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode One (2013)

Heroes are Not Born, They’re Created: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

It Was the Curse. My Curse: The Cheerleader Murders (2016)

Have You Seen Megan Hipwell?: The Girl On the Train (2016)

He’s Married to a Corpse. He Has A Corpse Bride!: Corpse Bride (2005)

He’s married to a corpse. He has a corpse bride. There must be some way to undo what’s been done.

Every year I do an animated movie as part of my Horrorfest review. As I was trying to decide which one, I finally settled on The Corpse Bride as I thought it was high time I reviewed a Tim Burton film. I have been trying to do Edward Scissorhands or Sleepy Hollow (1999), for years now but it just seems as if 31 days is never enough time to do everything I wish.

 

So the first time I watched this movie I wasn’t really into it. I felt the plot wasn’t that interesting and there were too many songs. But my niece really loves it and wanted to watch it (several times) and it is funny, but the more I watch it, the more I like it. I have actually really grown to love it, despite all the things I disliked in the beginning.

 

So the story begins with Victor Van Groot (Johnny Depp), nouveau rich, as he prepares to marry Victoria Everglot, from an old important family (who unfortunately has no money). There marriage is supposed to be one of convenience, but Victoria and Victor have fallen for each other.

 

However, even though Victor is in love with Victoria, he is extremely nervous about the wedding and messing things up. He ruins the rehearsal when he drops the ring, (symbolizing his death) and accidentally catches Mrs. Everglot’s dress on fire.

He runs away embarrassed and tries to work on his vows. He manages to knock them out of the park, but when he gets to placing the ring on the finger (a stick off a tree) it turns out that he has awaken the dead, and now has a zombie bride.

He then gets dragged down to…I don’t know actually. Is it is heaven, hell, purgatory, or a final resting place for the townspeople? They never explain.

Is it for everyone or just the village? And how was she even able to drag Victor down if he isn’t dead?

Anyways, they give him the story behind the Corpse Bride, Emily (Helena Bonham Carter). She was engaged to marry a man her parents disapproved of. She stole all their money and jewels as the two planned to elope. But when Emily arrived, her betrothed strangled her and took off with everything. She then decided she would wait there until her true love awoke her.

Victor wants to leave, but Emily doesn’t want him too. He convinces her to let him return to the world above so that they can see his parents. They go, but instead of seeing his parents, he tries to tell Victoria what has happened.

Emily follows him, and upset at his betrayal, drags him back down to the underworld.

Victoria is worried and tries to seek help, but everyone thinks she is crazy. Her parents are desperate for money, so when Lord Barkis, (who has just arrived in town and no one knows him but he gives the appearance of being wealthy and from a distinguished family) offers to marry Victoria, her parents accept. Victoria on the other hand is completely distraught.

Meanwhile, below ground Victor’s coachman has just arrived and given him the news about Victoria. Heartbroken that she would marry another, Victor agrees to spend eternity with Emily. In order to make the ceremony lawful, they must return topside, preform the wedding ceremony, and Victor must take poison so that he can join Emily in the afterlife.

The dead rise and head to the church, coming in right after Victoria and Lord Barkis have performed the ceremony. Everyone is terrified including the townspeople.

However, after they discover that the skeleton/zombie creations are their dead relatives, they are happy to have their loved ones back.

Lord Barkin wants to flee and tells Victoria to get all her family’s money so they can take off. Victoria reveals they have no money, and now both are very unhappy.

Victor and Emily are getting ready to perform the ceremony when Emily sees how much Victor loves Victoria and stops the ceremony. Victor and Victoria are together, but unfortunately they can’t really be together as she is already married, something Lord Barkin reminds everyone. But as he comes to take Victoria away, it is revealed that he was the one who killed Emily.

All the other skeletons and zombies are furious, but there is nothing that can be done by the dead as he is still alive. Lord Barkin laughs at this and takes a drink of the wine set out for the wedding ceremony, making fun of Emily. But the wine he drank was the poisoned wine that was set out for Victor.

Get him!

As he is now dead, Emily can get justice; Victoria and Victor get their happy ending; and Emily is released and able to pass on.

So let’s start with what I did like:

1) The Animation

In a world that was moving from 2D animation to CGI, it is nice to see a throwback like this, I actually wish we had more films like it. I know it was becoming too expensive for a lot of studios to do it and will eventually become totally outmoded, but I like it. There is something so real about these puppets.

2) The Ending

The ending was so cute, it was why I even wanted to watch the film. I mean I loved how Victor and Victoria get together and Emily has peace.

Although, why does she turn into butterflies?

Things I Didn’t like:

1) Too Nightmare Before Christmas

I really felt like Burton was just trying to recapture The Nightmare Before Christmas. He just borrowed too much from his earlier film for me. I mean the creatures had the same style; Emily looked like a Blue Sally; there are two skeleton kids and a dwarf replacing the three trick or treaters; and a bone dog instead of ghost dog; and tons of songs. Even though it is cute it also gives the impression Burton is running out of new ideas.

 

2) Too Many Songs

Now I love music

But the songs in a film need to be good and have something to do with advancing or enhancing the plot. Quite a few of these songs felt more like filler to lad out the runtime instead of enhancing the story.

3) This Was too Short

Everything felt as if it was moving too quickly. It made me feel as if they couldn’t really think of a way to flesh out the idea they had for the plot and  instead decided to jam extra songs in and hurry to the ending.

4) Music is Not Right for a Young Lady

Uh, did Burton do any research? Victoria wants to play the piano, but isn’t allowed as “music is not right for a girl”. Uh, no. Music has always been something young ladies were trained in. Think of the three acceptable arts: piano, painting, and embroidery. I mean remember Mr. Darcy?

“a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.’ Caroline Bingley…’All this she must possess,’ added Darcy, ‘and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

6) No Character Development 

So Victoria and Victor are cute, but we hardly know anything about them! I mean we know Victoria doesn’t want to wear corsets, or follow society’s rules, but what does she like? What does she want? Who is she? Victor is insecure and frightened, but that’s it. There is nothing else to him.

7) Why Would They Marry Their Daughter Off to Someone They Don’t Know

 

Now don’t tell me “it is because they need money”. Why would a family that was so concerned over their daughter marrying a rich fish merchant’s son, even though they are filthy rich, just send her off with a guy they know nothing about? That makes no sense. Why wouldn’t they have looked into his background and discovered he has no money either?

8) They Couldn’t Just End an Engagement

So as stated before I guess Burton did zero research as you can’t just switch one engagement for another. Since Victor never actually ended his engagement there could be legal steps taken against the Everglots, and a family that has no money would be careful about that.

9) More Research Issues

So again another problem with the time period they set this film in. The Everglots are angry at  Victor and Victoria alone in the room but that wouldn’t be as big an issue, as when a couple was engaged there were a few relaxed rules. I mean Victor couldn’t be in her bedroom, but he could be in the room alone with her for a bit. I mean seriously, Did you do ANY research?

But even though it has quite a few issues, I will admit that it grows on you. The more I watch it, the more I love the characters of Emily, Victor, and Victoria; and thanks to my this has become a yearly watch. 

-Update 2019- I think Catherine Morland, if she lived today would love this film.

And bringing back the facebook covers/mini posters. I haven’t been able to do them for the last few posts as I couldn’t find pics I liked that had a horror-ish feel. But I did make one for The Corpse Bride.

To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to It’s A Hard World: Backfire (1950)

For more zombies, go to Say Something Human: Warm Bodies (2013)

For more animated films, go to A Giant Metal Man: The Iron Giant (1995)

For more claymation films, go to A Matter of Loaf and Death: Wallace and Gromit (2008)

 

 

Part X: The Movie List That Would Not Die

 

901)”Dr. Ross Jennings: Respect is fine, but actually I’ve always wanted to be feared.”–Arachnophobia (1990)

902)”Cathy Brenner: He [Mitch] has a client now who shot his wife in the head six times. Six times! Can you imagine it? I mean, even twice would be overdoing it, don’t you think?”–The Birds (1963)

903) “Brody: You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”–Jaws (1975)

904)”Madeleine: Here I was born, and there I died. It was only a moment for you; you took no notice.”–Vertigo (1958)

905)”Roger Thornhill: I didn’t realize you were an art collector. I thought you just collected corpses.”–North by Northwest (1959)

906)”Roderick Fitzgerald: [narration] They call them the haunted shores, these stretches of Devonshire and Cornwall and Ireland which rear up against the westward ocean. Mists gather here… and sea fog… and eerie stories…”–The Uninvited (1944)

907)”Prof. Gerald Deemer: The history of medicine is the history of the unusual.”–Tarantula (1955)

 

908)”Earl Bassett: Run for it? Running’s not a plan! Running’s what you do, once a plan fails!”–Tremors (1990)

909)”Steve Andrews: How do you get people to protect themselves from something they don’t believe in?”–The Blob (1959)

910)”Mary Shelley: It’s a perfect night for mystery and horror. The air itself is filled with monsters.”–The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

911)”Harrison Hill: A very famous man once said that sincerity is everything. Once you learn to fake that, the rest is easy.”–Perfect Stranger (2007)

912) “Johnny: They’re coming to get you, Barbara.” –Night of the Living Dead (1968)

913)”Dr. Frankenstein: I am going to turn you into a mindless zombie. Have you ever seen a mindless zombie?
Alvin Seville: Are you kidding? I live in Hollywood!”–Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein (1999)

914)”Burt Robeson: I spy, with my lttle eye, something that starts with C.

Vicky: Corn.”–Children of the Corn (1984)

915)”Stephanie ‘Steve’ Clayton: You make it sound so creepy.
Dr. Matt Hastings: The unknown always is.”–Tarantula (1955)

1616)”Carl Denham: And now, ladies and gentlemen, before I tell you any more, I’m going to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld. He was a king and a god in the world he knew, but now he comes to civilization merely a captive- a show to gratify your curiosity. Ladies and gentlemen, look at Kong, the Eighth Wonder of the World.”–King Kong (1933)

917) “Ro: It’s a world where you *think* actions have no consequence, where guilt is cloaked by anonymity, where there are no fingerprints. An invisible universe filled with strangers, interconnected online and disconnected in life. It will steal your secrets, corrupt your dreams, and co-opt your identity. Because in this world, where you can be anything you want, any *one* you want, you just might lose sight of who you are.”–Perfect Stranger (2007)

918)”Fred Krueger: I’m your boyfriend now, Nancy.”–Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

EW!

919) “Burt: Any religion without love and compassion is false! It’s a lie!”-Children of the Corn (1984)

920)”Debbie Jellinsky: I don’t wanna hurt anybody. I don’t enjoy hurting anybody. I don’t like guns, or bombs, or electric chairs. But sometimes people just won’t listen. And so, I have to use persuasion. And slides. [Showing slide pictures] My parents, Sharon and Dave. Generous, doting, or *were they*? All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie. In her pretty pink tutu. My birthday. [the slide shows her as a child, smiling and opening a gift] I was 10, and do you know what they got me? *Malibu* Barbie.

Morticia: Malibu Barbie.

Gomez: The nightmare.

Morticia: The nerve.

Debbie Jellinsky: [flicks to the next slide of her throwing a bared-teeth temper tantrum] That’s not what I wanted! That’s not who I was. I was a *ballerina*, graceful, delicate! They had to go. [the next slide shot shows a burning house].

Bad things happen when you don’t listen

921)”The Monster: Alone: bad. Friend: good!”–The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

922)”Dr. Jekyll: I have no soul. I’m beyond the pale. I’m one of the living dead!”–Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

923) “Alice: The boy. Is he dead, too?

Tierney: Who?

Alice: The boy. Jason.

Tierney: Jason?

Alice: In the lake, the one – the one who attacked me – the one who pulled me underneath the water.

Tierney: Ma’am, we didn’t find any boy.

Alice: But – then he’s still out there.”–Friday the 13th (1980)

924)”Hooper: I’m not going to waste my time arguing with a man who’s lining up to be a hot lunch.”–Jaws (1975)

925)”Walter Chang: Earl. Here’s some swiss cheese and some bullets.”–Tremors (1990)

926)”Morticia: Wednesday’s at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.

Ellen: Boys?

Wednesday: Homicide.”–The Addams’ Family Values (1993)

927)”The Monster: [Speaking to Frankenstein and Elizabeth] Go you live [turning to Dr.Pretorius] You stay we belong dead.”–The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

928)”Simon: Aren’t you afraid this will rot your brain?
Alvin: Too late.”–Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman (2000)

929)”Quint: But it’s not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I’ll find him for three, but I’ll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you’ve gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don’t want no volunteers, I don’t want no mates, there’s just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole d*** thing.”–Jaws (1975)

930)”Children: One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door. Five, six, grab your crucifix. Seven, eight, gonna stay up late. Nine, ten, never sleep again.”–Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

931)”Police Lieutenant: Well, Denham, the airplanes got him.
Carl Denham: Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast.”–King Kong (1933)

932)”Morticia: [confronting Debbie in her house] You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But Debbie…

Debbie Jellinsky: What?

Morticia: …pastels?”–The Addams’ Family Values (1993)

933)”Lucas: I can tell you something about this place. The boys around here call it “The Black Lagoon”; a paradise. Only they say nobody has ever come back to prove it.”–The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

934)”Angela Dodson: I guess God has a plan for all of us.”–Constantine (2005)

935)”Brody: I used to hate the water…
Hooper: I can’t imagine why.”–Jaws (1975)

936)”Steve Karnes: I feel Admiral, what we’re facing is a marine animal of tremendous size and strength.

Admiral Summers: Do you mean to believe that a whale could’ve smashed through steel plates so high above the water line?

Steve Karnes: I didn’t say a whale.

Professor James Bickford: Behemoth?

Steve Karnes: That’s as good a name as any for now.”–The Giant Behemoth (1959)

1637)”Wednesday: [as an Pocahontas ad-libbing during a Thanksgiving play] Wait!

Amanda: What?

Wednesday: We cannot break bread with you.

Amanda: Huh? Becky, what’s going on?

Becky: [whispered] Wednesday!

Wednesday: You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, “Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.”

Amanda: Gary, she’s changing the words.

Wednesday: And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.–The Addams’ Family Values (1993)

938)”Mr. Hyde: So, you’re the great Van Helsing.

Van Helsing: And you’re a deranged psychopath.

Mr. Hyde: We all have our little problems.”–Van Helsing (2004)

939)”Angela Dodson: Well, this has been real educational, but… I don’t believe in the devil.
John Constantine: You should. He believes in you.”–Constantine (2005)

940)”Hooper: Ha, ha – they’re all gonna die.”–Jaws (1975)

941) “Nancy: Whatever you do don’t fall asleep.”–Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

942)”Burt: [about the Bible] What, did you rewrite the whole thing, or just the parts that don’t suit your needs?”–Children of the Corn (1984)

 

943)Frank Whemple: Had to! Science, you know. Well after we’d worked among her things, I felt as if I’d known her. But when we got the wrappings off, and I saw her face… you’ll think me silly, but I sort of fell in love with her.

Helen Grosvenor: Do you have to open graves to find girls to fall in love with?”–The Mummy (1932)

944)”Mr. Hyde: Think before you decide, I tell you! Do you want to be left as you are, or do you want your eyes and your soul to be blasted by a sight that would stagger the devil himself?”–Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

945)”Officer Burroughs: Jill, Jill. We traced the call! It’s coming from inside the house! Do you hear me? It’s coming from inside the house! You need to get out! Jill?”–When a Stranger Calls (2006)

946)Anna Valerious: I think if you’re going to kill somebody, kill them! Don’t stand around talking about it!”–Van Helsing (2004)

947)”Bill: Sweetheart, you can’t buy the necessities of life with cookies.”–Edward Scissorhands (1990)

948)”Richard Hannay: Beautiful, mysterious woman pursued by gunmen. Sounds like a spy story.
Annabella Smith: That’s exactly what it is.”–The 39 Steps (1935)

949″Jenny Williams: Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.”–The Wolf Man (1941)

 

950)”Jill Johnson: Tiffany, I know it’s you. I can see your name on Caller ID, genius.

Voice of the Stranger: This isn’t Tiffany.”–When a Stranger Calls (2006)

Oh Crap!

951)”Van Helsing: My life… my job… my curse… is to vanquish evil.”–Van Helsing (2004)

952)”Mary Henry: It’s funny… the world is so different in the daylight. In the dark, your fantasies get so out of hand. But in the daylight everything falls back into place again.”–Carnival of Souls (1962)

953) “Tony Wendice: [to Mark] People don’t commit murder on credit.”–Dial “M” for Murder (1954)

954)Sheriff Watson: And this bullet stuck among the hymns, eh? Well, I’m not surprised Mr. Hannay. Some of those hymns are terrible hard to get through.”–The 39 Steps (1935)

955)”Hannibal Lecter: [on telephone] I do wish we could chat longer, but… I’m having an old friend for dinner. Bye.

Clarice Starling: Dr. Lecter?… Dr. Lecter?… Dr. Lecter?… Dr. Lecter?…”–The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

956)”Doctor Muller: Burn the scroll, man. Burn it! It was through you this horror came into existence.”–The Mummy (1932)

957)”Minister: You cannot live in isolation from the human race, you know.”–Carnival of Souls (1962)

958)”Morticia: [to Gomez] I’m just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It’s just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.”–The Addams’ Family Values (1993)

959)”Steve Karnes: [solemnly] One thing is sure. Something has happened here that isn’t in the book. Something came out of the ocean and now has gone back into.”–The Giant Behemoth (1959)

960)”Sheriff Leigh Brackett: It’s Halloween, everyone’s entitled to one good scare.”–Halloween (1979)

961)”Hannibal Lecter: Well, Clarice – have the lambs stopped screaming?”–Silence of the Lambs (1991)

962)”Gomez: [to Fester] You’ll meet someone. Someone very special. Someone who won’t press charges.”–The Addams’ Family (1993)

963)”Tom Trevethan: From the sea… burning, like fire!

John: What was it?

Tom Trevethan: Behemoth!”–The Giant Behemoth (1959)

964)”Verden Fell: The eyes, they confound me. There’s a blankness, a mindless sort of malice in some Egyptian. They do not readily yield up the mystery.”–The Tomb of Ligeia (1964)

965)”Don Nicholas Medina: You will die in agony. Die!”–The Pit and the Pendulum (1961)

966)”Chip Douglas: You know what the trouble about real life is? There’s no danger music.”–The Cable Guy (1996)

967)”Debbie Jellinsky: [meeting Gomez] Isn’t he a lady killer!

Gomez: Acquitted.”–The Addams’ Family Values (1993)

968)”Maleva: Whoever is bitten by a werewolf and lives becomes a werewolf himself.”–The Wolf Man (1941)

969)”Fred Wilson: Lights! Camera! Kong!”–King Kong (1976)

970)”Hannibal Lecter: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”-Silence of the Lambs (1991)

971)” Morticia: My baby is ill, and my husband is dying. Oh Mama, what shall I do?

Grandma: Well, you have a black dress.”–The Addams’ Family Values (1993)

972) “R: [voice-over, introducing M] This is my best friend. By best friend, I mean we occasionally grunt and stare awkwardly at each other. We even have almost conversations sometimes.”–Warm Bodies (2013)

973)”Doctor Lloyd: I believe a man lost in the mazes of his own mind may imagine that he’s anything.”–The Wolf Man (1941)

974)”Beni: [after a shipwreck] Hey, O’Connell! It looks to me like I’ve got all the horses!

Rick: Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you’re on the wrong side of the river!”–The Mummy (1999)

975)”Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumb: It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”–Silence of the Lambs (1991)

976)”Gomez: [at the police station after asking to arrest Debbie. *Shouting*] Has the planet gone mad? My brother, passion’s hostage. I seek justice – denied! I shall not submit! I shall conquer! I shall rise! My name is Gomez Addams, and I have seen evil! [Grandma waves Pubert in the air] I have seen horror! [Lurch waves]I have seen the unholy maggots which feast in the dark recesses of the human soul!

Morticia: They’re at camp.

Gomez: I have seen all this, officer. But until today, I had never seen… *you*!

Desk sergeant: Hook him, book him, cook him. *Now*!

977)”Kevin: Hey.

R: [voice-over] *Say something human. Say something human.* How… are… you…? [voice-over] *Nailed it.*

978)”Sir John Talbot: You policemen are always in such a hurry. As if dead men didn’t have all eternity.”–The Wolf Man (1941)

979)”Evelyn: [Upon opening the tomb] I’ve dreamt about this since I was a little girl.

Rick: You dream about dead guys?”–The Mummy (1999)

980)”Evelyn: No harm ever came from opening a chest

Rick: Yeah, right, and no harm ever came from reading a book. You remember how that one went?”–The Mummy Returns (2001)

981)”Debbie Jellinsky: My first husband, the heart surgeon. All day long, coronaries, transplants.

Grandma: What about your needs?

Debbie Jellinsky: “Sorry about dinner, Deb. The Pope has a cold.” [the next slide shows a shadow of an axe on the wall heading towards the Surgeon]

Grandma: An axe! That takes me back.”–The Addams’ Family (1993)

982)”R: [voice-over] Don’t be creepy. Don’t be creepy. Don’t be creepy.”–Warm Bodies (2013)

983)”Larry Talbot: It isn’t a wolf… it’s a werewolf!”–The Wolf Man (1941)

84)”Mort: [voiceover] ‘I know I can do it,’ Todd Downey said, helping himself to another ear of corn from the steaming bowl. ‘I’m sure that in time, every bit of her will be gone and her death will be a mystery… even to me.”–Secret Window (2004)

985)”Evelyn: Look, I… I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O’Connell, but I am proud of what I am.

Rick: And what is that?

Evelyn: I… am a librarian.”–The Mummy (1999)

986)”Rick: [witnessing Imhotep’s resurrection] You know, a couple of years ago, this would have seemed really strange to me.”–The Mummy Returns (2001)

987)”Debbie Jellinsky: Husband number two. The senator. He loved his state, he loved his country!

Grandma: What about Debbie?

Debbie Jellinsky: “Sorry Debbie, no Mercedes this year. We have to set an example.” Oh yeah? Set this![the next slide shows car headlights heading towards the Senator in panic]”–The Addams’ Family (1993)

988)”Rick: Are you sure you want to be playing around with this thing?

Evelyn: It’s just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book.”–The Mummy (1999)

 

89)”Mort: You know, the only thing that matters is the ending. It’s the most important part of the story, the ending. And this one… is very good. This one’s perfect.”–Secret Window (2004)

990)”R: [voice-over] They call these guys Bonies. They don’t bother us much, but they’ll eat anything with a heartbeat. I mean, I will too, but at least I’m conflicted about it.”–Warm Bodies (2013)

991)”Ardeth Bay: There is a fine line between coincidence and fate.”–The Mummy Returns (2001)

992)”Debbie Jellinsky: But with your looks, your charm… women must follow you everywhere!

Uncle Fester: Store detectives.”–Addams’ Family Values (1993)

993)”Dorian Gray: If only it was the picture who was to grow old, and I remain young. There’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t give for that. Yes, I would give even my soul for it.”–The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945)

Ivan Le Lorraine Albright’s famous painting of the decayed Dorian Gray – which took approximately one year to complete – is now owned by the Art Institute of Chicago, where it has been on display for many years.

994)”Mort: I don’t respond well to intimidation. Makes me feel *icky*.”–Secret Window (2004)

95)”Norville ‘Shaggy’ Rogers: [as two female zombies approach him and Scooby-Doo] Like… we’re not looking for any ghoul-friends, are we, Scooby?”–Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island (1998)

996)”John Proctor: Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet of them you have hanged! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!”–The Crucible (1996)

997)”Rick: I only gamble with my life, never my money.”–The Mummy (1999)

998)”Ardeth Bay: If a man does not embrace his past, he has no future.”–The Mummy Returns (2001)

999)”Morticia: Children, do you think we love the baby more than we love you?

Wednesday, Pugsley: Yes.

Morticia: Do you think that when a new baby arrives, one of the other children has to die?

Wednesday, Pugsley: Yes.

Grandma: Well, that’s just not true. [sighs] Not anymore.”–The Addams’ Family Values (1993)

100)”Daphne Blake: What I need is a real, live ghost.

Velma Dinkley: That’s an oxymoron, Daph.”–Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island (1998)

To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to I Was Here For A Moment. And Then I Was Gone

For more of my fav movie lines, go to Part IX: Adventures in Movie Lines

For more on The 39 Steps (1935), go to Part VIII:The Little Movie Line List

For more on The Addam’s Family Values, go to Someone Very Special

For more on Arachnophobia, go to When the Itsy-Bitsy Spider is No Longer Itsy-Bitsy

For more on The Bride of Frankenstein, go to I Want Friend Like Me

For more on Carnival of Souls, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

For more on Children of the Corn, go to He Who Walks Behind the Rows

For more on The Creature from the Black Lagoon and The Silence of the Lambs, go to Disnified Horror

For more on The Crucible, go to I Saw Goody Osburn With the Devil

For more on Edward Scissorhands, go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more on Frankenstein, go to My Favorite Movie Lines

For more on Friday the 13th (1980), go to Camp Blood

For more on The Giant Behemoth, go to From the Sea Burning Like Fire

For more on Jaws, go to For All the Men Who Wonder What It’s Like

For more on The Mummy (1932), go to Eternal Punishment for Anyone Who Opens This Casket

For more on Night of the Living Dead, go to They’re Coming To Get You Barbara

For more on Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), go to Whatever You Do Don’t Fall Asleep

For more on North by Northwest, go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more on Perfect Stranger, go to Secrets are Great, Unless You Get Caught

For more on The Picture of Dorian Gray, go to If Only It Was the Picture Who Was to Grow Old, and I Remain Young

For more on The Secret Window, go to The Only Thing That Matters is the Ending

For more on Warm Bodies, go to Say Something Human

For more information on When a Stranger Calls, go to It’s Coming From Inside the House