Opening With…

 

So the other day I was reading the beginning of Northanger Abbey and I realized that Jane Austen is the queen of opening lines

Yep in all her novels she has some of the best opening lines that just pull you into her work and make you want to read on and find out what’s coming next. Check it out!

1) Sense and Sensibility

“The family of Dashwood had been long settled in Sussex. Their estate was large, and their residence was at Norland Park, in the centre of their property, where, for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a manner as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance.”

Right away you pick up on a few key words, had and was.

“The family of Dashwood had been long settled in Sussex. Their estate was large, and their residence was at Norland Park, in the centre of their property, where, for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a manner as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance.”

Immediately we know something dramatically changed this family’s fortune and it probably wasn’t a good thing. Now you’re sucked in and you have to find out what happens next? Why can’t they live there anymore? Who are the Dashwoods?

2) Pride and Prejudice

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in posession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

So I actually did a longer post on this, It is a Truth Universally Acknowledged…. But when you read these words, admit you are ready for the adventure of the book.  In fact this hook is one that has continued to be entertaining for ages. I mean that saying never gets old, but constantly draws you in no matter how many times you have read it.

3) Mansfield Park

“About thirty years ago, Miss Maria Ward, of Huntingdon, with only seven thousand pounds, had the good luck to captivate Sir Thomas Bertram, of Mansfield Park, in the county of Northampton, and to be thereby raised to the rank of a baronet’s lady, with all the comforts and consequences of an handsome house and large income.”

Oooh who is this Maria Ward now Maria Bertram? Is she an upstanding lady and we should be happy at her fortune? Or she is a harlot and we hate that she used her charms to win Sir Bertram?

Either way you are intrigued and want to know more about her and her family.

 

4) Emma

“Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her.”

So Emma seems like she is a blessed woman and everything is fine in her life. Or is it?

Sound suspicious

It sounds to me like there is a big ol’ but coming this way and that something going to happen to change her pristine life. What? I don’t know, but now I need to know.

5) Northanger Abbey

“No one who had ever seen Catherine Moreland in her infancy would have supposed her born to be a heroine. Her situation in life, the character of her father and mother, her own person and disposition, were all equally against her.”

So here we have a girl that has nothing to make her life seem interesting. Pretty bland…but just those words no one “would have supposed her” means that she is going to beat all the odds and have a fantastic story! After all:

And we can’t wait to read about it!

6)Persuasion

Sir Walter Elliot of Kellynch Hall, in Somersetshire, was a man who for his own amusement never took up any book but the Baronetage: there he found occupation for an idle hour, and consolation in a distressed one; there his faculties were roused into admiration and respect, by contemplating the limited remnant of the earliest patents; there any unwelcome sensations, arising from domestic affairs, changed naturally into pity and contempt as he turned over the almost endless creations of the last century; and there, if every other leaf were powerless, he could read his own history with an interest which never failed. This was the page at which the favorite volume always opened: — “ELLIOT OF KELLYNCH HALL. “Walter Elliot, born March 1, 1760, married, July 15, 1784, Elizabeth, daughter of James Stevenson, Esq. of South Park, in the county of Gloucester; by which lady (who died 1800) he has issue, Elizabeth, born June 1, 1785; Anne, born August 9, 1787; a still-born son, November 5, 1789; Mary, born November 20, 1791.”

Yes that paragraph is only two sentences.

I know, but the rest of the book isn’t like that. So I’m sure you’re first reaction was what an egotistical man.

Ugh men

But this pretty interesting opening. It’s the only Jane Austen book that doesn’t open about a woman or a family, but instead focuses on a man. Very different.  And we see that he has three daughters, Elizabeth, Anne, and Mary. So that begs the question which girl is this book going to focus on? Or will it be about all three?

Hmm

You’ll just have to read them to find out the end

After all:

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to A Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to First Impressions

For more on Mansfield Park, go to Part IX: Adventures in Movie Lines

For more on Emma, go to It’s All Jane Austen’s Fault

For more on Northanger Abbey, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Line List

For more on Persuasion, go to Part VI: It Was Said One Night

For more on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to You Can’t Have Just One

For more on Downton Abbey, go to That’s What You Get

For more on Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century, go to Friday Night Fun

For more of my favorite quotes, go to A Little Bit of Love

For more book loving posts, go to You’re Doing It Wrong

First Impressions

So let’s talk about Mr. Darcy’s first meeting. He made several mistakes.

Yes, you did. You made a ton of blunders that really led to you demise in the public’s eye.

So we see that when Darcy is first introduced as being one hot guy.

“Mr. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mein, and…having ten thousand a year…the ladies declared he was much handsomer than Mr. Bingley, and he was looked at with great admiration…”

That is until he showed how prideful he is

“[Mr. Darcy] was looked at with great admiration for about half the evening, till his manners gave a disgust which turned the tide of his popularity; for he was discovered to be proud; to be above his company, and above being pleased; and not all his large estate in Derbyshire could save him…”

1. Not Dancing

Now I am not big on dancing, I’m like William H. Macy in Wild Hogs

But to people in Regency era dancing was an important thing. As a woman to be dancing it spoke of your beauty and possibility of marriage. Therefore Darcy giving a huge slight on the town  and the women as he danced with no one. It was like saying no one there was good enough for him.

It also told everyone that they had no chance at all at gaining his heart as

“To be found of dancing was a certain step toward falling in love…”

Not good Mr. Darcy, not good at all.

Ouch

But in his defense he only knows a few people, and it can be hard to dance in front of strangers, especially if you are dancing with a stranger.

“You know how I detest it [dancing], unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner.”

I know I couldn’t do it. Mr. Bingley tries to introduce him to people, but Darcy just shuts him down. True it sounds rude, but I believe that Darcy is just socially awkward.

2. Pride

Yep, Darcy comes off as a regular tool, the way he acts above everybody else.

“he was discovered to be proud; to be above his company, and above being pleased…”

He only dances two dances, one with Mrs. Hurst (Bingley’s sister) and Miss Caroline Bingley. He also only talked to the people within his party, declining to be introduced to anyone else.

“His character was decided. He was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world, and everybody hoped he would never come there again.”

Good riddance

However, I’m going to play devil’s advocate here. It can be hard when you are in a new area. Sometimes you can come off being ruder than you mean to be.

I used to be like that a lot. People would tell me they thought I was a snob before, and glad that they were mistaken. I never realized that my self-consciousness was giving off that kind of vibe. In fact I feel bad for Darcy, as for him it was the same way. He never realizes the way he may portray himself or the attitude he gives off until Elizabeth tells him.

3. Slighting Elizabeth

Ooooh Darcy, this is where you really dig yourself into a hole.

“She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.”

Ouch

Sorry Darcy, I have nothing to say to defend you. You said such a cruel thing and she tells her friend and family. Her mother spreads the story around and Darcy, you’re coffin is sealed.

Good riddance

 

So this clearly shows that we need to watch our actions and how we present ourselves to people. First impressions last a long time and take forever to overcome.

Also that even though Darcy is hot and rich, its personality that will always win over as everyone was willing to forget trying to win his heart, once they felt his personality was a huge zero.

Yep personality will always win out:

And it’s a good thing for us that Darcy has a beautiful soul to go with his body. It just takes a bit of time for us and Elizabeth to see it.

For more on Mr. Darcy, go to It’s All Jane Austen’s Fault

For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to Just Can’t Get a Break

For more on Elizabeth Bennet, go to How to Catch a Man

For more on first impressions, go to Happy Birthday Pride & Prejudice

For more on Regency Era, go to Definitely Not Mr. Darcy

For more on tall, dark, and handsome men; go to Gone Forever

For more on Maya Angelou, go to A Woman’s Heart

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Food, Food, Food!

For more on Wild Hogs, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Lines List

For more on George of the Jungle, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines’ List

There’s No One Like Gaston

Day 13) You Favorite Villain Song

Now I know there are many more scary and mean villian songs, but this one is my favorite. I love Gaston, but let me clarify, I love Gaston like how I love Draco Malfoy. They have some the best lines, they are so egotestical that they are hilarious, and you just know the story would be a snooze-fest without them. Gaston’s song is so awesome because it is so silly, egotestical, manly, and a total laugh riot.

I mean this is like the ultimate pep talk. Next time you have a friend who isn’t doing well, just change the words around and add their name in. They’ll thank you for it. 🙂

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here’d love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There’s no man in town as admired as you
You’re ev’ryone’s favorite guy
Ev’ryone’s awed and inspired by you
And it’s not very hard to see why

No one’s slick as Gaston
No one’s quick as Gaston
No one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there’s no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one’s been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
No one’s got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating
My- what a guy, that Gaston

Give five “hurrahs!”
Give twelve “hip-hips!”
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips

No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston
For there’s no one as burly and brawny
As you see I’ve got biceps to spare
Not a bit of him’s scraggly or scrawny
(That’s right!)
And ev’ry last inch of me’s covered with hair

No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
I’m espcially good at expectorating
(Ptooey!)
Ten points for Gaston!

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev’ry morning to help me get large
And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I’m roughly the size of a barge

No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
I use antlers in all of my decorating
Say it again
Who’s a man among men?
And then say it once more
Who’s the hero next door?
Who’s a super success?
Don’t you know? Can’t you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There’s just one guy in town who’s got all of it down
And his name’s G-A-S- T –
G-A-S-T – E –
G-A-S-T-O – oh!

GASTON!!!

For more on Beauty and the Beast, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines List

For more of my favorite songs, go to If I Never Knew You

For more on Disney Villains, go to The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For more on Disney go to I’ll Make a Man Out of You

For more on Draco Malfoy, go to Even After All This Time

In other news:

and not just that, it is also a full moon

Yep two things:

Horror films!!! And…

Pizza!!!

Yep every Friday the 13th pizza and a horror flick!

If you are into scary movies then I suggest reviewing Horrorfest: 31 Day of Terror and Woe and Horrorfest II: The Oddities of October. Also keep your eyes peeled for a three-quel!

And if you want to continue in this Friday the 13th mood, check out Camp Blood: Friday the 13th (1980) and A Deliciously Creepy Tale: Butterfinger the 13th.