Too Pretty

Too Pretty by Andrea Grigg

Gabrielle “Ellie” Paxton is has had to deal with constant criticisms, stereotyping, refused from certain circles, rumors, bad mouthing and unfair firings all because she is-too pretty.

In fact she has just lost her job, is always mistreated by her aunt, and her latest boyfriend just wanted to date her because he wanted to brag about being with her.

Everyone

She goes to her cousin’s congratulation party and meets a handsome guy named Nathaniel. He is interesting, a good listener, well off, and seems perfect. But too bad he doesn’t seem interested in her, she will probably never see him again, and her ex-boyfriend just mauled her and caused her to decide to stop dating men for a year.

Her aunt causes a giant scene and Ellie has enough!

After praying about it, she decides it is time to move from her small town to the big city of Sydney (Australia).

But even though it feels as if God is pushing her in that direction, things don’t seem to be going as she hoped. She is able to meet up with her old friend Annabel, but after she puts out massive amounts of resumes, but  nothing comes of it. Will she be able to make it work?

Annabel is from the same small town as her, and the two went through some rough times before they settled into the confident secure women they are today. Annabel has started dating a very kind and wonderful man who turns out to be extremely wealthy. He has a great family and friends, one of which turns out to be the tall, dark, brooding Nathaniel. As they continue to spend time together, will Ellie keep to her vow of no men?

So what does this have to do with this blog? Why am I reviewing it? Because this is a rewrite of Pride & Prejudice.

Yes, this is another rewrite of Jane Austen. How do I know? Let’s count it down.

A) Gabrielle “Ellie” is like Elizabeth “Lizzie”.

I know that sounds like a stretch, but that is just the first thing. There is more.

B) An Evil Aunt

While in this version the evil one is is Ellie’s aunt (the Elizabeth) instead of the Darcy character the aunt is still the same. She is demanding, rude, cruel, critical, and just all around one of the most awful characters in this.

C) Tall, Dark, and Brooding

Nathaniel is Mr. Darcy. He’s tall, handsome, brooding, rich, etc-all the same qualities. He also doesn’t like to dance, takes a long time to warm up, likes the girl before anyone else realizes it, etc.

D) Best Friend Marrying a Nice Wealthy Guy

So Jane Bennet’s character is taken by Ellie’s best friend Annabel. While Annabel has a past, she is now kind, caring, compassionate, sweet, and thinks the best of everyone. She also manages to score an equally sweet guy, Theo, who turns out to be rich! A real Mr. Bingley, if you know what I mean.

E) Theo has a Mean Girl Sister, Just like Mr. Bingley

While in Pride & Prejudice, Caroline doesn’t like the Bennets because of their class, her main issue is that Elizabeth throws a wrench in her plans to snag Mr. Darcy. In Too Pretty, Alicia likes Annabel and welcomes her into the family, but she hates Ellie. She instantly picks up on Nate’s interest of Ellie and tries all she can to get rid of her as she has been after him for a long time.

F) After They Spend Extended Time Together They Discover Their True Feelings

In P&P Jane becomes sick and Elizabeth travels out to help take care of her. She stays there for weeks, and here is where Mr. Darcy starts to fall for her. In Too Pretty, staying weeks in our modern age wouldn’t work; so instead Ellie is invited for a long weekend and the two realize their feelings for each other.

 G) The Author Mentions Pride & Prejudice Again and Again

She first mentions it when they go to the ball, later there is the whole hand flexing thing from the 2005 film version, and the characters even watch the film. It is clear that this was what inspired the author in writing this book.

So yes, while this isn’t a clear remake of the original book, you can clearly see that the author was greatly inspired by Pride & Prejudice.

But What Did I think of the Book?

I didn’t like it.

The story really fell apart for me because of two things:

1) Going On and On About Ellie Being Too Pretty

So the book starts off with Ellie going on with how she is mistreated because she is too pretty. People think she’s some dumb blonde, want to use her, women mistreat her, people talk bad about her; and on and on.

What jerks

You feel for Ellie, but then she doesn’t stop talking about it. She goes on, and on, and on, and on.

Blah, blah

I get what she is saying, but her continually going on about how beautiful she is chapter after chapter makes it really difficult to not get annoyed. When I was a teenager and suffered from acne, I tried everything to get rid of it, tons of products and nothing worked. When I finally went to a dermatologist I discovered I was allergic to salicylic acid. It is a rare allergy and left scars on my face. I never leave without make up as I don’t like the way I look. So reading about how hard Ellie’s life is because she has a perfect figure, skin, etc-I just can’t feel sorry for her. I would happily trade in an instant.

And that is the problem. Most of the people who read this are going to have some body issue so hearing again and again how she is gorgeous but hates it, doesn’t endear her to the reader.

2) Pretending to Be Someone They Are Not to Get Something and It All Blows Up in Their Face.

This book takes part in one of the worst clichés in books, film, and TV. The character decides to dress up and pretend to be someone else. And what happens in the end? It all comes out and blows up in their face.

It is really dumb, I mean come on what did you think was going to happen? Ugh! I can’t stand it.

Seriously

Yep, those two things killed it for me. I would pass this book on by if I were you.

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to What Would Jane Do?: Quips and Wisdom from Jane Austen

For more Pride & Prejudice variations, go to Whether Presentable or Not, I Love Spending Time With You: Episode Four, Pride and Prejudice (1995)

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

For more Australian Austen works, go to The Austen Series: Amanda

For more on May Vanderbilt, go to A Fashion Statement

What Would Jane Do?: Quips and Wisdom from Jane Austen

What Would Jane Do?: Quips and Wisdom from Jane Austen

I received this book for my birthday and thought it was just the cutest thing ever. It has a bunch of quotes from her novels and letters (although a few aren’t labeled correctly and one is from the Pride and Prejudice (2005) film). It is perfect for whenever you are looking for a quick quote or quip.

So the book is split up into ten sections. I’m going to pull a quote from each section.

I.) How to Be Happier Than You Deserve

II.) Good Impressions for Great Ladies

III.) Mistress of Myself

IV.) Check  Yourself, Dear

V.) Get to Know Your Gentleman

VI.) If You Really Like Him

VII.) Intimate Acquaintances

VIII.) Sensible Quips for Every Occasion

IX.) I’d Rather Be With a Book

X.) Looking Back on Important Nothings

For more Jane Austen quotes, go to I Made My Own Teabags

For more Sense & Sensibility, go to Lambie-Pie

For more Emma, go to Candy Girls

For more Northanger Abbey, go to A World of Teas

For more Persuasion, go to Captain Wentworth’s Diary

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to Whether Presentable or Not, I Love Spending Time With You: Episode Four, Pride and Prejudice (1995)

For more Mansfield Park, go to It’s Always Tea Time

Whether Presentable or Not, I Love Spending Time With You: Episode Four, Pride and Prejudice (1995)

Valentine-Wallpapers-For-Facebook

Well we have reached the end of another Valentine’s Day countdown. Hopefully you all have enjoyed it as much as I have.

OrdinaryExtraordinary

I hope everyone had a great day whether you spend it with a spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, family, friend(s), a pet, or food.

eatinghobbyilovelucy

And if you didn’t enjoy it, there is always tomorrow when everything will be marked down really low.

ValentinesDay

So let’s move on to our final pick:

Romantic Moment #14

pride-and-prejudice-1995-restored-2010-x-250

“Episode Four” from Pride and Prejudice (1995)

So what can I say about this?

prideprejudice1995bbc

I LOVE this miniseries. It is one of the best versions of Pride & Prejudice; Colin Firth is tied with Pride & Prejudice (1940)’s Laurence Olivier in best Darcy.

Darcy Pride and prejudice

So I thought and thought about what I which moment I think would be a good one to choose, and I think I picked one that everyone will love.

hearts banner

 So the story of Pride & Prejudice should be something you are familiar with if you are a fan of my blog. Even so, I’ll give a quick synopsis.

So Elizabeth Bennet is the second of five daughters in the Bennet family. This wouldn’t be too bad if the estate was not entailed making it harder for them to find husbands and forcing them to lose everything if Mr. Bennet dies. No one is really concerned with it except their mother who desperately wants them to all to secure a relationship.

Pride&PrejudiceTruthUniversallyAcknowledged

A Mr. Bingley rents a home in the area, thinking about purchasing, and brings his sisters and best friend Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy is more aloof, having many dislike him even though he is very wealthy. When Elizabeth overhears him saying she isn’t pretty enough for him, she becomes very upset and the one who dislikes him the most.

Ryan-Gosling-Oh-No-You-Didnt-Half-Nelson

A very handsome soldier, Mr. Wickham, comes into the picture and charms everyone along with giving more ammo on why we should all jump on the “I dislike Darcy train.” Also, the Bennet’s cousin who is set to inherit comes, Mr. Collins, and is extremely disliked by all.

prideprejudicemrcollinsdowntonabbeymatthewcrawley

Bingley leaves suddenly and his sisters and Jane write to each other, with the sisters saying that Mr. Bingley is getting very close to asking Mr. Darcy’s sister for her hand in marriage. Mr. Collins also exits after he is rejected by Elizabeth, deferring his interests for her friend.

HurtMeHurtYouBack

Elizabeth visits Charlotte after she is married and meets Mr. Darcy’s insufferable aunt, Lady Catherine.

Those guys

She also finds out from Mr. Darcy’s cousin that Mr. Darcy was the one who convinced Bingley to leave and forget about her sister, being the one to blame for Jane’s broken heart.

Or an author

After this Mr. Darcy ends up proposing to Elizabeth! It turns out while her dislike was growing he was falling for her!

Pride&PrejudiceMrDarcyEvolutionofDarcy'sviews

She refuses him:

Pride and prejudiceDarcy

Elizabeth thinks that is the end of it, but then Darcy gives her a letter with an extensive explanation. Will it be enough to forgive him or will she just forget him?

hearts banner

Most Romantic Moment: Even Though I’m Not Presentable, I Don’t Care I Want to Spend Time With You

So the moment I have chosen occurs when Elizabeth travels to Pemberley. Here she looks upon Mr. Darcy’s home and hears how everyone talks about him. This coupled with what he revealed in his letter has her wondering if maybe she was wrong to refuse him.

PemberleyPride&Prejudice

Now the only reason Elizabeth agreed to look upon the house was because she thought that Mr. Darcy wouldn’t be there, but unbeknownst to everyone, Mr. Darcy has decided to come home early. As he heads home, he decides to take a dip in the pond.

I just love how shocked yet excited he is to see her that he just wants to talk to her, yet at the same time doesn’t know what to say. It is so cute how he doesn’t even realize his wet clothes or tries to get away to change them.

And then after he realizes his attire, he races to dress and runs downstairs, still wet, in a hurry to not let her slip through his fingers. Even though she rejected him, he still cares deeply for her and wants to spend time with her to change her impressions. So cute!

So romantic!

So romantic!

And just a little extra to make your day special:

LostinAustenMr.Darcy

Happy Valentine’s Day!

hearts banner

To check out the rest of the romantic moments:

I Would Suffer Anything to Save You: Under Capricorn (1949)

I Would Go Through Anything for You: Sleeping Beauty (1959)

You’re My Wife and the Mother of My Children: Move Over Darling (1963)

I Will Face My Fears for You: Back to the Future (1985)

I Know You Can Do This: Working Girl (1988)

I Did It for You: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Even Though You Are Only Using Me and Made Me Look Like a Jerk, I Only Care About Helping You: Picture Perfect (1997)

I’d Risk My Life to Save Yours: Earshot, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1999)

You Are a Horrible Cook, But I Will Eat What You Prepare Anyway: Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

I Always Knew and I Didn’t Care: Usual Suspects, Young Justice (2012)

I Only Care That You Succeed: How I Met Your Mullet, Raising Hope (2014)

I Want to Give You What You Love: Age of Adaline (2015)

I Don’t Care About Money or Class, I Love Her: Episode Three, Doctor Thorne (2016)

hearts banner

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to Is Mr. Darcy Out There?

For more Mr. Darcy, go to Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

For more Colin Firth, go to When I Get Into a Novel

For more BBC miniseries, go to A Murder Has Been Committed on Your Property: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode One (2013)

For more Nicholas Sparks, go to Growing Up Is Hard to Do

Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

bridgetjonesedge

So this film is supposed to be a modern day retelling of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice.

janeaustenghostdo'tmesswithwork

Strangely enough it stars two people who had been in films based on Jane Austen’s work. Hugh Grant plays Daniel Cleaver, our George Wickham, when he was in the 1995 Sense and Sensibility as Edward Ferras.

edwardsense-and-sensibility-helloeheygoodbyeseeyaoopswave-1

And then we have Colin Firth as Mark Darcy, having played Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice (1995).

mr darcy

Now I understand why Colin Firth decided to be in the film, I read online that he thought it would distance him from the 1995 miniseries, along with killing the wet shirt.

Deandon'tpbjectifymesupernatural

But oh Colin Firth, you were so wrong.

uh-no-gifuhno

That will never die

Darcy

So let’s look at the film:

gusPsychpopcorn

So prior to this viewing, I had seen the part where the mom has left the dad for another guy, the “vicars and tarts party”, and the very end in the snow.

Why?

Why?

From what I had seen I wasn’t really interested as I didn’t think it looked that good at all.

uh-no-gifuhno

However, lots of people love it. Everyone says they are funny and it was just given a third installment.

Truth be told I don't

Truth be told I don’t

 My friend is one of those who loves this film and she convinced me to watch it with her.

scooby-doowerewolfwatchingtv

I did and I really didn’t like it.

I don't like it 11

I just don’t get the love for this film!

spockstartrekidon'tknowokayiguesmovingongo

It mean doesn’t really follow Pride & Prejudice, the characters aren’t that likable, the situations silly ands not really making sense.

uh-no-gifuhno

I think this movie is horrible, and I’ll tell you why.

Let'sdothis

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Mark & Bridget Falling in Love

BridgetJonesDiarymrdarcyilikeyoujustthewayyouare

Mark (Mr. Darcy) and Bridget (Elizabeth) barely have any screen time together, so they don’t really have the opportunity to grow in a relationship. This is a problem with modern adaptations as in the original tale (and in history), when people visited they didn’t stay a few days, they stayed weeks or months. Darcy spent a long time with Bingley, encountering Elizabeth when she came to assist in her sister’s recuperating. And then again when Elizabeth stayed with Charlotte, but here they meet up at a family party her parents are throwing, a dinner party, accidentally while she is on vacation with Daniel (Wickham), and they fall for each other?

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

It doesn’t really work. They should have had them spend more time together. I mean he decides to forgo a new career in New York, throws himself at her feet, etc. We should see why he would.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Bridget is an Empowering Character. Or is She?

icecreamsaddepressedblnketbedbridget-jones-diary-mad-about-the-boy-05282013-lead01

Bridget is constantly being sexually harassed but does nothing about it.

What?!

What?!

I know! Look at the little tagline there, it says

“For anyone who’s ever been set up, stood up, or felt up”

And it acts like it is going to be real empowering or something. And is it? No!

SayWhat

Bridget never stands up for herself or does anything about; choosing to just suffer through it. We have her creepy uncle who every time he sees her grabs her butt. Does she tell him off or her parents so they stop inviting him? No. Instead she just lets him continue.

I don't think so

And then when Daniel gropes her in the elevator and says inappropriate comments, does she do anything? No She just lets him do whatever.

Ryan-Gosling-Oh-No-You-Didnt-Half-Nelson

And then there is the way that her new job treats her, as breasts and a butt.

Big brain small boobs

What kind of message is that saying, especially since it is “based” on a character who is renowned for the beauty of her wit?

I don't like it 11

I mean I’m not asking her to go all out like this:

fliptablesangrysurprised

I’m just asking for her to stand up for herself.

No thank youhowaboutno

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Where Oh Where is the Witticism?

Where is the wit? Elizabeth was a great character who always put her two cents in.

PridePrejudiceDon'tTemptme

In this Bridget is made to be more of not a bimbo, but one who never thinks but just spouts off the first thing that pops in her head.

If only people followed this advice.

If only people followed this advice.

She is nothing like who she is based on at all.

the-austenite-prayerElinorDashwoodAnneElliotElizabethBennetDarcy

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Why Does Bridget Continue to Believe Daniel?

bridgetjonesdiaryimsorry

Why does Bridget go on believing Daniel after she finds out that he is a big fat liar?

Pinocchio liar

Daniel tells Bridget this story about how Mark Darcy slept with his fiancé, being the nail in the coffin of hate. But then we find out that Daniel is a a liar and was not only cheating on Bridget, but she is the other woman.

What jerks

What jerks

Yes, he was in a relationship the whole time and leading Bridget on with no intention of ever having it be more. Then when Bridget quits, we discover that Daniel had been keeping Bridget from moving ahead as he wanted to keep her to dabble in.

Pride&PrejudiceDarcypunch

Why does she think anything he said is the truth? When I found out my ex cheated in me I was really angry:

KickShin

But it also made me question everything he did and said. Why wasn’t it the same for her? I mean in the book Elizabeth doesn’t find out that Wickham is a liar until Darcy reveals what he did. And as soon as she sees him again, she lets him know that his drivel isn’t welcome here.

You-serious?-Not-happening-babe!

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Why Did They Have Her Parents Separate?

Over You

I really don’t understand why the film has the mother and father split up. It doesn’t really enhance the plot or create growth for the characters. I mean the only thing it “adds” is that with the mom out of the way the truth about Daniel’s lie isn’t given until the end. I don’t know why they did but I sure didn’t like that she comes home on Christmas and everything is okay, they are back together. There isn’t even an emotional payoff in that.

Those guys

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Why Would Darcy Read Bridget’s Diary?

letter

So Bridget leaves Mark downstairs while she changes out of her embarrassing underwear. She tells him to make himself comfortable and read some magazines and he reads her diary.

whatsthedeal

Really? I do not see Mark ever doing something like that when he has other options. He’s just not that type of guy at all.

uh-no-gifuhno

And her running after him in the snow with no pants or coat. Yeah right, she would freeze before she met up with him.

the-wolfman-2010-freezing-therapy

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Bridget’s Friends are Atrocious

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

Bridget’s friends are awful.

galaxyquestrollseyesugh

All they do is give horrible advice or make the situation worse.

bridgetjonesdiaryimsorry

Where is level-headed and realistic Charlotte?

Charlotte-Lucas

Where is the kind, caring, always seeing the good Jane?

tealizziebennetdiariesprideandprejudice

We have Tom who makes the situation worse, bringing the fight into the restaurant and the wait staff out; Shazzer who just complains and places all kinds of doubts in Bridget’s mind; and the other friend who just cries all the time.

uh-no-gifuhno

No thank you.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

So I haven’t read the book, (maybe I will like that better), but as for this film, except for a few good moments, I see it as a dud.

Ew Yuck Gross

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

For more Pride & Prejudice adaptations, go to Austenland

For more Jane Austen films, go to Is Love at the Thanksgiving Parade Really Just Pride & Prejudice?

For more Jane Austen adaptations, go to Midnight in Austenland

For more Colin Firth, go to When I Get Into a Novel

For more Hugh Grant, go to The Eye of the Storm

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

Day 26) Z is for Zombie: Choose a Zombie Retelling of a Classic Novel

Zombies

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies #1) by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

When I saw what Z stood for I knew that this was going to be the book I was going to review for it. First of all I have read very little Zombie themed books as that is just not really what I am in to. And secondly, pass up a chance to talk about Jane Austen?

Like that's happen

So I remember when this book was first released. It was right as the teen book world was moving out of wizards (Harry Potter) and Vampires (Twlight, Vampire Diaries, Vampire Academy, etc.), and was searching for a new thing to fill this niche. They settled on Zombies.

ZombiefilmsTheWalkinDead

But not just Zombies. They decided to take it one step further and pair it with Jane Austen.

AA_KnightleyDisapproved

And not just her. After this book, almost every classic was getting some kind of overhaul. We had Little Vampire Women, Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters, Jane Eyre: Vampire Slayers, etc.

Bad Sequels psycho-1960-alfred-hitchcock-janet-leigh-pic-21

It was a pretty bad time.

Ew Yuck Gross

Anyways, back to this book. So when it first came out it was a big hit. Everyone was talking about it. Everyone was reading it. The library was backlogged in holds.

ineedthis

I wasn’t really interested until my friend Elise recommended it to me. She really liked it and told me she would let me borrow her book. I was a bit wary as I didn’t understand why Austen needed any “makeover” or “spin” as her books were amazing the way they are. But I’m a sucker for a free book and borrowed it.

blanceTea&Books

I should have remembered:

notwopersonsreadthesamebook

So I read it. And how did I feel afterwards?

Guy you suck!

You suck!

I HATED this book. I thought it was badly done and the parts inserted by Seth Grahame-Smith were horribly written. And a lot of it made no sense.

Whattheheck

But that was seven years ago. Could I still feel the same way?

paris-whenitsizzlesaudreyhmmHepburn

Let’s see!

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

13 Days Later

I HATE THIS BOOK!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT IS HORRIBLE! JUST HORRIBLE? HOW CAN PEOPLE LIKE IT? THEY RUIN AUSTEN. Grahame-Smith IS HORRIBLE! EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

wordICan't say Toy Story

I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT….I could go on for hours.

immatureHowIfeelBones

But you don’t want to hear that over and over, instead let’s dissect everything I hated about this book.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

A) So Seth Grahame-Smith takes Jane Austen’s work and doesn’t really write a new story but just swaps out pieces for zombies.

really?

Really?

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

B) Mr. Bennet’s Motivation

So the first biggest problem is Mr. Bennet not wanting his daughters married but “engaged in the deadly arts”. But that doesn’t change that the house and money all revert to their cousin because the estate is entailed.

Lady-Mary-DOWNTONABBEYENTAILMENTSUCKS

So if these girls don’t get married how will they live?

Seriously

Seriously

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

C) Mr. Bennet Hates His Children

And the way Mr. Bennet hates his daughters? He didn’t hate them in the original book. He thought they were silly and not worth his time, but he didn’t have an outright hatred for them like in here.

That's not how it was in the book!

That’s not how it was in the book!

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

D) The “Warrior” Code

In this world “the warrior code demanded she avenge her honor” for the insult that Darcy gave her when he said she wasn’t handsome enough for her. If they can kill for that why didn’t Darcy just kill Wickham?

ooh!

ooh!

I mean it makes no sense. Yeah, he doesn’t want what happened to his sister to taint her or make her an outcast in society, but in this world you can kill someone for an insult. Why didn’t he just kill Wickham and make up that he said an insult. The rules of this world just don’t work.

uh-no-gifuhno

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

E) Elizabeth is a Jerk

Lizzie is so freakin’ cruel. She is incredibly mean to her sisters and everyone around her. Just downright cruel.

you're evil

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

F) More “Rules” of Society That Don’t Make Sense

It is “unladylike” to bring more serious weapons than daggers and knives to a ball, but is okay for them to kill, flip around, kicking and showing off their lady parts (no underwear like us), etc. Wow Grahame-Smith you aren’t confusing at all.

confused

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

G) No Knowledge of Martial Arts

Does Grahame-Smith know anything about martial arts? He has Elizabeth get into a crane position to attack the zombies, but then does a chop on the thigh. That makes no sense at all. Crane positions are for kicking, kicking! Why would you get ready like that and then chop on the leg? It is completely weird and wasteful of energy.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

H) None of the Characters Have a Heart

Mrs Bennet says all Charlotte Lucas deserves is a “crust of bread washed down with a cup of loneliness.” You see? Grahame-Smith is so cruel. None of these people were that mean. They all had faults but they wren’t downright heartless. How does removing the heart and soul of the characters make them better? Huh, Grahame-Smith? How. Well I’ll tell you, it doesn’t. It makes it horrible.

Or an author

Or an author

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

I) Mr. Bennet is Abusive

Seriously, the way Mr. Bennet talks to his wife is downright abusive. Thanks Grahame-Smith for ruining a fantastic book.

I don't like it 11

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

J) You Need to Reevaluate Your Career Choices

All the girls say that they could make great lives as assassins, bodyguards, or mercenaries. Really? Really? You think with all those in the military eventually coming out of the service that won’t be a problem? And how many people need a bodyguard or assassin? And if they are rich enough to hire assassins, bodyguards or mercenaries, why wouldn’t they just get ninjas from Japan or something? And to top it all off you are really only trained to kill zombies, not people. Slow moving, barely threatening zombies. Not the same thing at all. You don’t have the same training for the others.

Night of the living dead zombie

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

K) You Can Pretty Much Kill Anyone for Anything

Mary almost kills Mr. Collins when he insinuates that one of them did the cooking. Now, don’t get me wrong, that is a serious insult. He implies that they are so poor they have to take on the role of a servant putting them on the same level of a domestic. But hey, if that is open for murder why didn’t Darcy just kill Wickham? I mean seriously, I just keep circling back to that.

Why?

Eh?

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

L) People Do Not Understand the Levels of Class

I hate how everyone praises that Mr. Bennet says the girls aren’t trained in the kitchen but are trained as warriors. Only one problem, they were never trained for the kitchen. They were too wealthy for that. I blame the Pride & Prejudice (2005), in which they are made to look really dirty,  muddy, with animals running all over the place. They made them look really poor, but the Bennet family wasn’t. They were well-off; the only problem was the estate was entailed and the wealth they had wasn’t theirs to keep, like in Sense & Sensibility. And the reason there is an issue with marrying Mr. Darcy is that his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, is in line for the throne. I mean a lot of people would have to die, but still hypothetically she could become the next queen of England. That means it would eventually come down to him, so who he marries is a big deal.

Get it right!!!!!

Get it right!!!!!

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

M) Why Wasn’t There a Duel?

So we have Wickham’s big pack of lies about Darcy and how he dishonored himself and Wickham by not giving him the legacy that was originally promised. One issue with that, if in this world you can kill someone for insults why didn’t Wickham do a duel with Darcy or kill him? Why doesn’t Elizabeth think of that?

BraveheartVictorySwordinAir

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

N) All the Innuendo

The sexual innuendo. Come on Grahame-Smith, is sex all you think about. I feel like the girls in Grease 2, refocus your mind.

And that’s what makes Austen so great. She didn’t need cheap paltry things. She created a fantastic novel full of great wit and amazing work. Every sentience piece of art, delightful storytelling, Grahame-Smith not so much.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

O) Front Lines? You Mean No Lines

Elizabeth writes to her aunt that she is on the front lines of battle and prefers it to marriage, love, and family. Only one issue she’s on the front lines of nothing. She’s just hanging out in the country. Front lines would be the battlefield with the soldiers, but Elizabeth isn’t a soldier! She talks as if hired by crown but why isn’t she paid? And she’s only battling the village zombies she’s not even out there fighting where the hordes are coming from. Get off your high horse.

Seriously

Seriously

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

P) Why/Where Did the Zombies Come From?

And that’s another thing that bothers me. Why did this happen? How? Why don;t they ever explain?

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Q) Grahame-Smith is a Child

Grahame-Smith is a ten-year old boy. I mean think about it. His obsession with body fluids (poop, pee, vomit, farts, etc.) and likes saying balls as much as he can. It’s the only explanation.

Seriously

Seriously

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

R) Charlotte a Zombie?

I hated how they turned Charlotte into a zombie. I thought that was a dumb decision. How can no one notice but Elizabeth? Really?!

stupidmoranhmm_yes_i_see_youre_a_moron_trollcat

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

S) Fifty-Five? Schfifty-Five

Fifty-Five years of zombie attacks? How are there that many zombies in existence to keep living? Why did zombies even start? Explain!!!!

totalrecallmachinedestroyargh

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

T) The Battle Scenes are the Worse

Let’s talk about my least favorite part-when Elizabeth fights the ninjas. First the way that Lady Catherine talks about being taught by Ninjas. False, ninjutsu wasn’t something you were taught, but passed through families as they were assassins.

tmntshreddertumblr_mxn1lp02e71t0ow0mo1_500

Second Elizabeth fights at least three of them according to the illustration, but when she takes the time to strangle one with its own intestine why didn’t the other ninjas kill her?

Really?

Really?

The second ninja she blocks the throwing stars, and then grabs the last one midair and throws it back unharmed. You grab something moving that fast that sharp, no way. She would have cut her hand. And hands bleed like crazy.

ouch Hermione

The third ninja she just throws her katana and kills him. That easy?! Really Catherine with all her money and fame, that’s the best she could hire.

I don't think so

Oh, and I forgot. Elizabeth did that all blindfolded. Hmm, maybe she was hit by the same radioactive stuff that Daredevil was hit with because I don’t think she could have done that.

uh-no-gifuhno

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

U) Elizabeth is a Cannibal?

She rips the heart out of the ninja and starts eating it. First that is serious zombie signs right there, I would have killed her. And second, eating human parts, i.e. a cannibal, makes you go crazy and get extremely sick. She should be totally insane right now.

I'm crazy

I’m crazy

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

V) Grahame-Smith’s Mind

Ball joke after ball joke and now fingering? Austen is rolling over in her grave. If she became a zombie and hunted Grahame-Smith down, I wouldn’t mind at all.

immatureHowIfeelBones

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

W) Why Won’t They Explain About the Zombies?

They travel to the Orient multiple times? Is the zombie plague just in Europe? Western Europe? In America as well? It would be nice if Grahame-Smith gave a moment to EXPLAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fliptablesangrysurprised

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

X) Who?

On pg. 169 Jane and Elizabeth punish Catherine? Catherine who? Do they mean Kitty? Why call her Catherine suddenly? Strange.

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Y) Grahame-Smith Does Not Understand Women or Sisters

Elizabeth dreams of cutting off Lydia’s head? Really? Grahame-Smith doesn’t really know how to write female characters or sisters. First he has Elizabeth being mean to Jane, then Mary, and then Lydia. So completely cruel. And that is one of my biggest problems with this book. I hate Elizabeth! She is mean, cruel, harsh, rude, judgmental, and just downright nasty. I dislike her and don’t want to read more about her as I just can’t stand her. Yes Grahame-Smith, you actually took a character I lived and made me hate her. Good job.

dialMforMurder Killer Hate

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Z) Not Hatred, Circumstances

In this book Grahame-Smith makes Mr. Bennet hate Mrs. Bennet as he finds her stupid and dumb. That’s not how it was in the real book. Mr. Bennet married Mrs. Bennet and didn’t realize that they werent well suited until much later on. They lived well together, spending all the money as no need to save, they will have sons. When no sons came each went to the opposite extreme. Mrs. Bennet became so worried and crazed over her “failure” that she threw all her efforts into trying to catch husbands. That’s why she puts the girls “out” all at once, she wants them settled as soon as possible or they will be worse off then the Dashwood sisters. Mr. Bennet took the failure of no male heir and money a different way, he isolated himself in his library and books, trying to escape reality. They didn’t hate each other, they just didn’t really suit each other, drawing farther and farther apart.

The_Wolf_Man_4Crying sad

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

AA) Elizabeth is a Freak

Elizabeth enjoys listening to the screams of burning zombies. What a sadist and creep.

Gilmore girls creep

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

BB) Return of the Bad Fight Scenes

The fight between Lady Catherine and Elizabeth is horrible as well. Leaping all over the place like they are taking part in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon or something, The way Lady Catherine attacks, Elizabeth should be dead. Elizabeth stabs Lady Catherine in the stomach but Lady Catherine survives? What, that isn’t even possible. She’s dead, end of story.

stupidestThingeverheard

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

CC) Ew, Yuck, and Gross

Words some Catherine’s lips “After I behead her, ninjas you can do what you want with the body”, Grahame-Smith has some serious issues.

Certified Creepo Ribbon

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

So yeah I hated it.

Hate YOu

Grahame-Smith just plagiarized someone else’s work changing a few words here and there and making it horrible. Grahame-Smith offends me to my very core. Destroying talented writing with his scribbles.

This is what I would like to do to him

This is what I would like to do to him

Grahame-Smith doesn’t even know how to write. His characters are unlikeable, story underdeveloped, and just all around bad, bad, bad.  Only one thing left to do:

DissedP&P

This is one book you should defintely skip!

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

To start the 30 Day Challenge from the beginning, go to It Was a Pleasure to Burn: Fahrenheit 451

For the previous post, go to Why I Still Love My Fair Godmother

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Austenland

For more Pride & Prejudice variations, go to Is Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade Really Just Pride & Prejudice?

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to Midnight in Austenland

For more Zombies, go to No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

Is Love at the Thanksgiving Parade Really Just Pride & Prejudice?

Loveatthethanksgivingparade

So first of all, Happy Thanksgiving!

give-thanks-to the lord 1 chronicles

So I was watching this film as I like Hallmark and it is a Thanksgiving film, perfect for the day, but then it got me thinking…it reminded me of something…

suspicious Hmm

And then it hit me over the head!

hit with bookssnapeharrypotter

It reminded me of a certain Jane Austen story:

Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet (1940)

Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet (1940)

But is this film really a modern take on Pride & Prejudice? Or is it just borrowing some elements of it? Let’s take a look!

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

The Story:

Emily Jones, (E for Elizabeth?), is the Chicago Thanksgiving Parade coordinator. She loves her job and vintage things; choosing to shop and thrift stores and live her life appreciating the past. She is currently engaged to a marine biologist, who is full of himself and doesn’t appreciate Emily but wants to change her into something, “better.”

That guy!

That guy!

Emily has a best friend, Donna, who helps her with finding her vintage clothing and offers her advice. Emily’s life is going great until she gets the ultimate slap in the face; the city has hired an efficiency consultant, Henry William(Will as in FitzWILLIAM Darcy?), to cut costs in the parade.

1Star-Wars-Luke-NOOO-Not-my-father

Immediately Emily doesn’t like him. Not only is he trying to destroy her favorite thing in the world, but he is wealthy, arrogant, insensitive, impossible, and hates the past as he believes modernity is the way to go. Henry thinks Emily is stubborn, impractical, prejudiced, and doesn’t understand her doggedness about holding onto the parade or her. But they are stuck together.

Henry Williams: We don’t have to like each other, but we do have to work together.

As they start working together, Henry discovers that he misjudged Emily and starts to understand and appreciate her views; changing more and more with each encounter as he opens himself up to care about the heart of the matters, rather than the money. 

Emily starts to fall for him, but her pride and prejudices still keep her from realizing that he is right for her, and her fiancé, Brian, is all wrong. But when Henry decides to change nothing at all, saving the parade for her; Emily realizes she completely misjudged him in every way, and goes after him and in the end they are together.

Double double yay

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

So the storyline has quite a few similarities; the bare bones are the same. But what about the characters?

Elizabeth/Emily

elizabeth-bennet-elizabeth-bennet-31632202-283-424

love-at-the-thanksgiving-day-parade-hallmark-2

So we are going to start with Emily. Emily was born from a middle class family and has worked hard in her job to make it the best she can as she has a strong sentimental connection to it and the city. She isn’t like other people often being “out of time”, as she loves vintage and retro things of the past.

Elizabeth Bennet is born from a middle/upper class; not wealthy like Darcy or Anne Elliot or Emma Woodhouse, but her family does well. She, like Emily, isn’t always connected to the people of the day as she has her own way of doing things. She prefers walks to riding in a carriage, books to games of whist, etc.

Emily’s pride is hurt when she finds out that the city is going to not only going to try to remove something from her parade to make it cheaper, but also that they would pick an outsider to come in and make those changes. She immediately becomes prejudiced against Henry, no matter what others say about him.

Elizabeth’s pride is hurt when Darcy insults her beauty, and after that becomes prejudiced against him. When George Wickham enters her life, she knows barely anything about him but is willing to believe his testimony against Darcy, rather than Bingley who she has begun to know, as she wants a reason to dislike him even more.

Emily is dating Brian who doesn’t really care for her but who he wants her to be. Elizabeth is interested in George Wickham, who also doesn’t care for her as much as using her as an avenue to spread slander against Darcy and hopefully introduce her to a wealthy woman.

Emily decides the best way to get Henry to save the parade is to show him every facet. As they spend time together; Henry opens up a lot and the two become friends and start falling for each other. However, Emily doesn’t realize how Henry is the perfect one for him until she meets the foster care directors that took care of him when he was younger and when he decides to change nothing, but save the parade for her.

Elizabeth and Darcy don’t share the same type of closeness as the social constraints of the day don’t allow them the same kind of time together. But through the time they do spend and conversations they have, Darcy falls for Elizabeth. Elizabeth doesn’t find herself falling for Darcy until she reads his letter of explanation, hears from his servants about how they feel about him, and when he saves her family and finds her sister.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Fitzwilliam Darcy/Henry Williams

love_at_the_thanksgiving_parade_2-2images

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Henry Williams grew up in foster care and worked hard his whole life to achieve wealth. Along the way he closed himself off to others, not interested in developing relationships, but chasing after the dollar and making decisions primarily on logical and cool reasoning, rather than emotions.

Fitzwilliam Darcy had a life of privilege, but his responsibilities of being the only son, inheriting and caring for the land, and becoming a guardian for his sister made him focus more on decisions that made sense, rather than emotional.

At first Henry cannot stand Emily as he doesn’t understand her or like the things she likes and the way she dresses (it is strange to him that someone could love wearing used clothing). As they continue working together, he starts to like the way she acts, the things she does, and her.

Mr. Darcy at first isn’t interested in Elizabeth and he really isn’t interested in befriending anybody but being closed off. However, once they spend time together; he starts to like her conversation, her interests, and her.

In the end Henry lets down his facade and barriers allowing Emily in and trying to show her his real self He also decides that his love for Emily is more important and keeps the parade exactly the same. Not only does he save the parade she loves, but saves the actual parade by filling in for their missing Santa.

Darcy does everything he can to try and change Elizabeth’s opinion of him after hearing her objections. He opens his home to her and her family, and tries to show her who he really is under the cold drawn facade. But the thing that really proves to her his care is that he goes to see the people he vowed to never see again, pays a man he never vowed to never give money to again, and saves Lydia and the Bennet family reputation; all for Elizabeth.

Pride&PrejudiceDarcy

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Conclusion?

paris-whenitsizzlesaudreyhmmHepburn

Well this isn’t a direct and true adaption of the novel, I do believe that with the large similarities and the core of the characters; while not perfect…it is a modern Pride & Prejudice. And did I like it?

irongiantreallyhmmokayyeahright

Yes. Whether you watch it as a modern version of Pride & Prejudice, as a cute Thanksgiving film, or a feel good Hallmark film; I thought it was cute and fun.

I like it!

I like it!

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

So that’s our post for today. I thought it would be the perfect Thanksgiving and Jane Austen fusion. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, however you spent it. And don’t forget the pie!

applepie

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

For more Thanksgiving posts, go to You’ve Got to Accentuate the Positive

For more Pride & Prejudice film adaptations, go to A Murder Has Been Committed on Your Property: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode One (2013)

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to Candy Girls

For more modern retellings of Jane Austen, go to The Dashwood Sisters Tell All: A Modern Day Novel of Jane Austen

For more Jane Austen Quotes, go to Lemon Scones

For more bible verses, go to I’d Lay Down My Life for You: Pocahontas (1995)

Candy Girls

I don’t know about you all, but I have been eating a lot of Halloween candy, in fact too much.

CandyOverload

But as I continued to eat, it made me think…what if the Jane Austen heroines lived in today’s world? What kind of candy would they eat?

paris-whenitsizzlesaudreyhmmHepburn

So I thought on it, and this is what I came up with.

Chocolate-Sweets banner

sense5

Elinor is the eldest of the Dashwood sisters and when her father dies, causing them to lose everything to entailment and have to live on less money, she rakes control in searching for a new home. After the move when it is clear that her mother is still sick with grief and her two younger sisters lack the age and temperament for such matters, Elinor takes over running the house and trying to work out a way for them to live on their budget. As Elinor is the champion of saving and surviving, I think that if she were to purchase a sweet she would try to make it something that is cheap and easy to share. Therefore a Kit Kat seemed the most likely choice for her. Kit Kats are easy on the wallet and designed to be evenly split between four, the exact number of Elinor’s family.

For more on Elinor Dashwood, go to To Edward or Not to Edward?

Chocolate-Sweets banner

61z0xrpwjjhuwpj0

To me I see Marianne as a Chocolate Truffle. We know how romantic she is, so of course she is going to not only want chocolate, but something more than the average fare. Being raised rich, a truffle is something she would be used to eating, and then when their finances change, she would still be able to eat a few cheaper ones, every now and then.

I can just see her and Colonel Brandon and her reading poetry and eating truffles after they are married.

For more on Marianne Dashwood, go to The Dashwood Sisters Tell All: A Modern Day Novel of Jane Austen

Chocolate-Sweets banner

2548ac125671a6574b8cb5a538e36cc8

NOw contrary to the 2005 version of Pride & Prejudice, the Bennets are not poor. They are lower than Darcy as his Aunt is in line for the throne (a LOT of people have to die first but still), Emma Woodhouse, and Anne Elliot (prior to her father losing so much money). They are slightly under the Dashwoods, so they are pretty well off. Not super rich, but doing well. Therefore I think that Elizabeth would pick something in between. Not super rich, but a little more high class than something you can buy at the corner drugstore.

Therefore I think that she would pick the See’s Lollipops. See’s candy isn’t super expensive, but not something you can find just anywhere, sometimes you have to travel a bit to get it. Plus as she is a walker, I see her with a lollipop as she can eat it and go.

For more on Elizabeth Bennet, go to The Ugly Truth

Chocolate-Sweets banner

09fb9d265e66658acdbea459867e62b7

Now Fanny we all know was born into a large, less fortunate family. She is sent to live with her Aunt and Uncle, the Bertrams; and abused by her other Aunt Norris. Mr. Bertram isn’t really in her life as he is always having to go away on business or not interested in child rearing; Mrs. Bertram is also not really checked in. So the person who raises her is Aunt Norris who never wants her to forget she is poor; giving her extra work, never allowing her to do things with the other kids, playing the two eldest sisters off of her and encouraging their bullying. So if I had to pick a candy, the only one I think Aunt Norris would allow her to have would be mints or gum. Both are extremely cheap and what she would think as suitable for her poorer relation.

I think out of anything she would only buy Orbit as it doesn’t last long and falls apart the more you chew it. But just like Fanny’s personality and actions have her end with a better life than her cousins, chewing gum rather than eating other candy would give her a better smile and oral hygiene.

For more on Fanny Price, go to Waiter, There’s Some Disney in My Jane Austen

Chocolate-Sweets banner

d87ceb7b12058709148c96be3fc56381

Emma is the richest out of all the Austen heroines. She doesn’t worry about money, she has one of the highest places in their local society; so what would be the perfect candy for her? Only one thing came to mind, GodivaGodiva is one of the most expensive chocolatiers and just perfect for someone like Emma who is used to having the best. The only issue she would face would be whether or not her hypochondriac father would allow her to eat it, or his fear of illness taking her away  would make him not want it in the house. Otherwise, Godiva would be Emma’s go to.

For more on Emma Woodhouse, go to The Austen Series: Amanda

Chocolate-Sweets banner

tumblr_nw56nvzf401s735vao1_500

As a child Catherine was very active in sports, climbing trees, running, etc; a tomboy. In that stage I see her as a bubblegum chewer (like Bazooka), however as she grows older her taste change to reading, especially Gothic, Romantic fiction. With that new take, I don’t see her as a gum chewer, but having moved on to something that pairs better with her reading, chocolate covered strawberries. Not only are these romantic, but something that will fit within Catherine’s budget as they are not too expensive, as her family isn’t super wealthy, especially if you make them yourself. Yes the perfect pair to Catherine and all the harrowing tales she loves to read.

For more on Catherine Morland, go to Storybook Ending: Northanger Abbey (2007)

Chocolate-Sweets banner

anneelliot

Like Elinor, when Anne realizes how her father and sister are just blowing through their money, she begins to economize. And that is why when I think of what candy she would buy and eat, I think of Ghiradelli. While Ghiradelli isn’t the most expensive chocolate out there, it is classier than Hershey’s or Snickers; yet at the same time is cheap enough that it is something Anne would be willing to spend her money to snack on. It is that perfect blend that fits this once rich girl. Anne also strikes me as a dark chocolate and sea salt type of girl, of which Ghiradelli can provide.

For more on Anne Elliot, go to A Letter of Love: Persuasion (2007)

Chocolate-Sweets banner

For more Austen mashups, go to Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Can’t Lose: Superbowl 50

For more Sense and Sensibility, go to A World of Teas

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to Meet Cute: Darcy & Elizabeth Style

For more Mansfield Park, go to It’s Always Tea Time

For more Emma, go to Baby Jane Austen

For more on Northanger Abbey, go to The Cambridge Companion to Jane Austen

For more on Persuasion, go to Captain Wentworth’s Diary

For more Austen posts, go to A Murder Has Been Committed on Your Property: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode One (2013)

For more Candy posts, go to Candy, Candy, Candy!

A Murder Has Been Committed on Your Property: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode One (2013)

DeathcomestoPemberley

So I am so excited about Death Comes to Pemberley.

ElvisPresleyDanceDancing

It’s not because I liked the book and wanted to see how it converted to screen, but because this means I will finally have something Jane Austen to review for Horrorfest!

Double double yay

The only thing I’ve been able to do that was Jane Austen in the month of October was a post where I dressed the Austen men up in costumes, but nothing like this! I can finally review something real! Oh, yay!

This is great

This is great

So the book, I didn’t really care for, and you can check out my post on that if you wish, but for now: let’s look at the TV show.

So this is the first time I have reviewed a miniseries for my blog and I thought about it and figured the best thing would be to review it episode by episode, rather than all at once like the Emma (1996) film review.

So I will just review episode one, and will continue to review the episodes every month or every two months. I haven’t decided yet.

Well that’s enough chit chat, am I right?

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

halloween banner

So we begin with very serene landscape. Is this supposed to be contrast for what is to come or just the cinematographer showing off?

suspicious Hmm

Two maids are out in the forest, although they are not supposed to be. One is scared while the other, Joan is braver. What looms in the forest?

Stay out of the forest!

Stay out of the forest!

Both take off screaming. What have they seen?

what what'shappeningSupernatural

Were they afraid of the remains of his crazy grandfather?

So we move back to Pemberley

PemberleyPride&Prejudice

There all are getting ready for the Queen Anne’s ball. Elizabeth is doing well with her preparations but is interrupted when the girls return and shout about seeing Mrs. Reilly’s ghost. Who is Mrs. Reilly? I thought it was Mr. Darcy’s ghost that haunted the woods.

GHostFantasia

I’m not sure I like this actress as Elizabeth Bennet-Darcy, she just doesn’t seem right, but of course there is still time to change my mind. I’ll reserve judgement until the end of the episode.

Something about you just doesn't seem right.

Something about you just doesn’t seem right.

Darcy seems so crazy, with his introduction of him yelling at everyone, I don’t like that. He’s not one to loose his temper easily, especially as this is something he does every year.

I don't like it 11

He and Elizabeth seem to be having issues, the way they interact, but then he writes her a love note. I don’t know, that scene seemed off for some reason.

uh-no-gifuhno

Darcy needs to get out of the house so he takes his son hunting with him. In the book I thought they had two sons. Oh well, neither one played a large role in the novel so I guess it doesn’t really matter of they only have one.

dean whinchester shrug smile oh well

When Mr. Darcy is about to get his horse ready, he and the butler have a few words. The butler’s son Will Bidwell, is incredibly ill. His father is heartbroken that he can’t do anything and that his son won’t take up his legacy.

The_Wolf_Man_4Crying sad

Back inside, Elizabeth’s duties are done so she and Georgiana are having a private chat. Georgina has a secret smile which means only one thing.

Cinderella

So this is love…hmm…So this is love…so this is what makes life divine…

She’s in love. But with who?

Hmm...

Hmm…

Colonel Fitzwilliam arrives early as he has something on his mind. He wants to marry Georgina as he cares for her, has just inherited the family fortune (as his brother, the eldest died), and will be returning to war soon. Elizabeth isn’t sure how Georgiana feels about him, but has no objections as long as she cares for him.

Col. Fitzwilliam says he will have to ask Darcy first, and Elizabeth gets all mad saying it is Georgiana’s decision.

Whattheheck

Uh, seriously Elizabeth? You know how the world works. One has to ask the father, of if absent the guardian, and present his interest to them. It’s not like you just ran off to elope unless you wanted to disgrace your family like Lydia Bennet or Julia Bertram from Mansfield Park.

No thank youhowaboutno

So one thing I notice about this show is that it does  A LOT of shots of the beautiful scenary and landscapes. Now this isn’t something I would normally mind, but this is a mystery. You know it needs suspense, a different type of mood.

sensationhorrorshock_VincentPrice

Instead it is very light and pretty.

I don't like it 11

We then see Elizabeth visiting the Bidwells to deliver books to the sickly Will. Will’s sister has just returned from visiting their oldest sister and brought back her baby to visit, George.

They try to lift Will’s spirits, but his death is approaching and there is little that can be done, other than to try and make his last days happy.

And taxes

So all these pretty landscape shots are actually starting to get on my nerves. This is a MYSTERY!!  DEAT IS IN THE NAME.

It should be a certain way!

It should be a certain way!

Elizabeth suddenly comes across a well-dressed women in purple just standing in the forest. That was a bit creepy. She chases after her, but all that remains is her hat.

weirdtwilightzone

Then the music starts taking a creepier twinge and we hear rustling.

Now you are getting it!

Now you are getting it!

And the woman suddenly appears behind!

dethcomestopemberleyelizabethitsbehindsit'sbehind

And hisses?

hisssesangryupset

I don’t remember that in the book.  I’m pretty sure I would have remembered a hissing woman.

paris-whenitsizzlesaudreyhmmHepburn

Anyways, it does not bode well for the ball, no it does not at all.

OhNOthisisgonnabebad

Mr. Henry Alveston arrives, a lawyer, and Georgina is ecstatic to see him.

Mmhm great gatsby

So this is what she was smiling about.

Then Mr. and Mrs. Bennet arrive.

Pride&PrejudiceMrBennetandElizabethBennet

Back at the local Inn, Denny and Wickham have been talking. Denny and him are fighting over something Wickham wants him to do, a note he would like delivered. Lydia joins them and they stop their arguments, continuing to the carriage.

Mr. Bennet sneaks off to the library for relief from the crowds.

LibraryOK

 They are all in the parlor where Georgiana is looking at the a book which has pictures of Col. Fitzwilliam’s castle. What started as a friendly discussion turns into a measuring contest between Fitzwilliam and  Alveston, as to who is the better man.

Men

Men

Colonel leaves suddenly for an evening ride. Strange….

Why is he leaving?

Why is he leaving?

Night comes and Denny yells for the carriage to stop, getting out. Wickham chases after him, leaving Lydia all alone in the carriage.

I don't like it 11

Mrs. Bennet finds a portrait of Wickham, and Elizabeth tries to get rid of it as it upsets both Darcys, but Mrs. Bennet can’t take the hint.

as always

as always

Luckily music always can change the subject.

MusicMakesaDifference

To stop Mrs. Bennet from going on, Darcy goes to ask Lizzy for a dance. While the two are dancing, Elizabeth lets Darcy know what is going on with Georgiana and how there are two men interested in her. Before they can finish their conversation they are interrupted as a carriage comes barreling through.

what what'shappeningSupernatural

It turns out to be Lydia who is in hysterics. She is so out of it that she has to be slapped to speak. When she finally can talk she tells them Wickham was shot.

OMG gasp

She heard the shot and came rushing back. She relates all that happened between Wickham and Denny being angry, them going off into the woods, etc. Just as they are preparing to go out. Col. Fitzwilliam rides up to the house.

Just at the exact time?

Just at the exact time?

 Lydia stops her freaking out to ask for her trunk as she doesn’t want her dress ruined.

Classic Lydia

Classic Lydia

Darcy just ignores it; calls for the doctor, and gets an expedition ready to head out. As they start, Darcy notices that Col. Fitzwilliam has a gun with him. Just in case he says.

suspicious Hmm

Now we go finally have some spooky shoots.

deathcomestopemberleyforestcreepytrees

FINALLY

 So the men split up as they start searching for Wickham.

Back at Pemberley, the doctor gives both Mrs. Bennet and Lydia a sedative as they are in hysterics. Elizabeth is hoping for the best, and that she can give them a hot meal and send them on their way, not planning for the Wickhams or Denny to stay long. Oh how our plans never quite go as imagined, eh.

The-best-laid-schemes-of-mice-and-men-often-go-awry-erobertFrost

They find Wickham with Dennys, him shouting that it is all his fault. His only friend in the world and he killed him. Fitzwilliam finds a pistol, and it has been recently fired.

Looks like Wickham is the killer.

Looks like Wickham is the killer.

It rains as they move everything back to the carriage to bring to Pemberley.

When they return to Pemberley, Wickham starts yelling that there is a killer out there somewhere, they need to go back and look in the woods.

Do the woods hold a killer or a ghost?

Do the woods hold a killer or a ghost?

Georgina has to face Wickham after years of hoping never to see his face and does quite well. But of course she is in love with Alveston, so it doesn’t affect her as much.

Over You

While Wickham is okay, Darcy has to call in Sir Selwyn Hardcastle the nearest magistrate, and must go get him immediately so as not to look like he is covering anything up. Darcy himself rides out to Hardcastle to inform him of the death.

Harcastle comes in and he doesn’t mess around. He looks at Wickham and is angry the housekeeper for cleaning his face, and tampering with evidence. They then go look at Dennys.

Dennys was bludgeoned to death, first smacked in the front of his head and then pounded in back. The news of this comes as quite a surprise.

What?

What?

But if he was bludgeoned in the head, why did everyone hear gunshots? What were they for?

Something just doesn't seem right.

Something just doesn’t seem right.

Elizabeth is wandering about Pemberley as she just can’t sleep. She then comes upon Col. Fitzwillliam burning a letter, Suspicious.

paris-whenitsizzlesaudreyhmmHepburn

Hardcastle stays on to interview Wickham as soon as he wakes. Elizabeth is told of the murder and she an Darcy just hold onto each other as they try to ponder this evil that has come to their home.

The next day Darcy tells Elizabeth the story of the “ghost” in the woods. A young boy Reilly was found poaching and instead of just getting a slap on the wrist they hanged him. His mother was extremely upset and and hanged herself in Pemberley woods. And now superstition is that her ghost appears whenever misfortune is about to strike.

GHostFantasia

Elizabeth thinks maybe the woman that hissed at her is the “ghost” the maids saw in the beginning. But that woman was a real women, and who is she?

dethcomestopemberleyelizabethitsbehindsit'sbehind

They are called back to the house were Lydia is raving and ranting. Darcy’s son is upset and his father goes to comfort him, which gives us another touching scene of Darcy as a family man.

You're so cute

Hardcastle goes to talk to Wickham. Wickham says that he found Dennys dead and saw someone fleeing through the forest. He fired the gun at the guy, and then fired in the air again for help. When they ask about why Dennys was so upset, he left the carriage, Wickham tells him it is because he didn’t approve of Wickham crashing the party.

Classic Lydia

That just screams of a lie. Why would that make Dennys so infuriated that he couldn’t stand being around Wickham for another second. No, there is another reason…

But Wickham continues to proclaim his innocence.

“George Wickham: There is a murderer out there somewhere and you…you are wasting your time.”

Colonel Fitzwilliam, Darcy, and Alveston are sitting waiting to see what will happen next when Alveston gives them some lawyerly advice. The best thing right now would be to think of sharing Wickham’s character. Do you think he could have killed him?

IndianaJonesHmmMaybe

Darcy doesn’t think so as he knows Wickham would do a lot of shifty and immoral things, but murdering his friend is not one of them. Alveston brings up that maybe he was changed by the war, but Col. Fitzwilliam quickly nixes that idea.

But the next question Alveston brings up is very interesting. When Denny got out of the carriage why did he go into the woods? Why didn’t he follow the road back?

Why not ask?

Why, indeed?

So Hardcastle has searched the carriage and found £30 in Wickham’s hat. Hardscastle sees him as the most likely man; money, a confession heard by three men to the death being his fault, only one in the woods, etc.  He going to stop looking and have Wickham arrested.

Not good

Not good

Elizabeth decides to scrounge in the fireplace searching for remnants of the note Fitzwilliam burned.

letterdeathcomestopemberleynote

She finds a piece that says “thank you for your support” and “meet me”. What does it mean?

paris-whenitsizzlesaudreyhmmHepburn

They take Wickham away, with Lydia in hysterics and Wickham cooly taking it.

halloween banner

So while this is a review of an episode for Horrorfest V, this is also a review for a Jane Austen item, so we are going to go a little more in depth.

Set Design

deathcomestopemberleyforestcreepytrees

So the set design was really nice. They used the same Pemberley that they had in the 2005 film version. I liked the sets, the lighting, etc. The only thing that bothered me was how much time they spent on showing the beautiful and tranquil landscapes. It felt like they were padding the episode and just didn’t seem to work with a mystery. I mean Midsomer Murders shows the beautiful landscapes, but always lets you know their is something dark simmering, as murder shortly occurs. I think they should have done more of that, rather than having the beginning just a pretty Jane Austen film. I guess they were trying to pull a David Lynch and try and show beauty, then the evil; but it just didn’t feel as good as his work either.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Costumes

colonelFitzwilliamdeath-comes-to-pemberley-pride-prejudice-refresher-3-fitzwilliam

So I thought the costumes looked great. We’ve mostly been in everyday wear as all are preparing for the ball, traveling, or going out hunting. I especially like how Georgiana always looks pure, sweet, and ethereal in her pastel and light gowns. Lydia on the other hand, just looked perfect in her deep maroon traveling gown. The men also look dashing and I have to say good choices were made for all, so far, in this production.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

So let’s talk about characters, and I’m only going over the ones I felt we spent a lot of time with. How did everyone do?

Colonel Fitzwilliam

colonelFitzwilliamdeath-comes-to-pemberley-pride-prejudice-refresher-3-fitzwilliam

Colonel Fitzwilliam is played by Tom Ward (who funnily had a bit part in P&P (1995) miniseries) and I hate his portrayal. Granted it probably isn’t him as I’m sure he is only doing what the script and director say. But he is just so cold, cruel, rude, and unlikable. It is totally weird from how he was in the book, which this is supposed to be a “sequel” or continuation of. In the book, Col. Fitzwilliam was the opposite of Darcy; fun, full of laughter, able to converse with anyone, liked to dance, etc. As a second son, he never grew up with the same responsibilities as Darcy did, so his character is lighter rather than burdened down with all he must take care of. Also as the second son, he has never had to deal with the throngs of daughters and mothers trying to ensnare him, and allowed him to be more open. Yes, I know this takes place years later and he has been through war; but his whole demeanor and the way he talked to everyone, even Georgiana, was so foreign from the original character. And I know they are trying to set him up as “the possible suspect”, but it would have been better if he wasn’t so harsh and rough all the times. I didn’t like him at all.

Elizabeth Bennet

dethcomestopemberleyelizabethitsbehindsit'sbehind

Elizabeth is played by Anna Maxwell Martin, but I didn’t like her performance. She always looks tired and out of it. I don’t know if she was trying to play overworked or stressed, but she just comes off really bland and boring. I didn’t like her at all.  Plus she keeps getting mad at the idea of Georgiana and Col. Fitzwilliam getting married. Why? Its not like he is a bad guy, I mean you even thought about the idea of him, until he said it wasn’t possible for a second son to marry whomever.

The sad thing is that Elizabeth is such a cornerstone character that she has to be spot on, or else everything is going to fall flat.

Mr. Darcy

What?

What?

At first I didn’t really like this Darcy. He wasn’t physically what I was imagining, but hey its hard when this was what came before.

Laurence Olivier Mr. Darcy mr darcy

You expect every Darcy to be as good looking. I also didn’t like his outburst in the beginning, and thought this guy isn’t Darcy. But as time went on, I began to enjoy Matthew Rhys’ portrayl of the character and thought that he captured who the Austen charater is better than any of the other actors in this production. He was kind, jovial, stern, serious, commanding; the perfect combination of married, fatherly, but still in charge of others Darcy. Good job Rhys.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

So what did I think? I liked it a lot better than the book. The book was a bit dull in places and at times felt it would bring something up and then never come back to it. With its transference to film, things can be shown instead of just talked about; they tie the ghost into the mystery deeper with the maids in the beginning, and I think they are trying to make the ending more mysterious and less a straight telling account of what occurred. Yes I didn’t like how some of the characters were, but BBC you have intrigued me and actually made me want to see what happens next.

halloween banner

To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to I’ll Be Watching You: Cat’s Eye (1987)

halloween banner

To read the review of the book this is based on, go to Death Comes to Pemberley

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Meet Cute: Darcy & Elizabeth Style

For more Pride & Prejudice adaptations, go to Baby Jane Austen

For more Jane Austen films, go to Emma (1996) AKA the Kate Beckinsale Version

For more Jane Austen adaptations, go to Captain Wentworth’s Diary

For more TV series based on books, go to A Haunting We Will Go: The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977)

Meet Cute: Darcy & Elizabeth Style

So I was reading this book, The Butterfly and the Violin.

18850688

The story is told in two parts, connecting at the end of the novel. One half of the book is set in the 1940s and is about Adele Von Bron, concert violinist and Austria’s sweetheart, who is sent to Auschwitz when she is caught trying to help smuggle a Jewish family out of Austria. There she becomes a part of the Women’s Orchestra. She goes through all kinds of troubles, all the while doing the best she can to stay alive.

Aw, man.

Aw…

The other half is the story of Sera James, owner of an art gallery. She was left at the altar two years ago, and since then has been focusing all her energy into finding this painting of Adele, painted while she was serving her time. Sera has just hit a dead end, when she receives word from a California millionaire businessman, Will Hanover, who needs her assistance. Apparently his grandfather left the family business and estate to the owner of the painting, and so he needs to find the owner (he’s planning to contest the will). Sera and he have a rough first impression, but then start falling for each other. But is Will’s interest in Sera real or is he just romancing her to get what he wants?

paris-whenitsizzlesaudreyhmmHepburn

So the book wasn’t that good. The author suffered from trying to do too much with the two story lines that it caused her to fall into overdone clichés and have a lack of character development. The book was rushed too fast to reach a conclusion, and to quote Wayne’s World they made it a “super happy ending”.

I didn’t care for it and thought it would be better if it had been focused on either storyline of Adele or the search of the painting instead of stretching the author with these two pairings. Adele’s journey is told in half points with a quick summary of what happened next, and Sera’s search barely anything as the painting felt like it was instantly discovered after the two “joined” forces.

Mehsleepyhollownotimportant

Doesn’t work. I don’t like it.

So why am I talking about this?

whatsthedeal

When I was reading the scene in which the two characters Sera and Will meet, it seemed oddly familiar…

Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet (1940)

Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet (1940)

Yes Will (and don’t think I didn’t notice that connection either) is rude to Sera, insinuating that she is after his money. Just like Elizabeth in Pride & Prejudice, Sera becomes extremely angry with Will and storms out.

I-could-easily-forgivePride&Prejudice

And of course, Will tries to make it up to her, it just takes him a few tries.

Pride&PrejudiceLBDcool5timestogetright

So of course the rest of the book has nothing to do with Pride & Prejudice, but it still just amazes me how Jane Austen continues to influence and inspire, even if it is something as small as a meet cute.

Here's to another 200 years!

Austen still alive in our modern times

I talked about it a little back in my post Happy Birthday Pride & Prejudice, when I celebrated its 200th birthday, but I just find it amazing. I mean what a testament to your skill, imagination, intelligence, and work that people use your characters and relationships within their own work.

And I truly mean it

And I truly mean it

I mean this is just one example but there are thousands of books and films that owe it all to Jane.

allhailqueenJaneAusten

Jane you are just so incredible that we just can’t think of anything better than what you have written. Looks like you will be sticking around for a looong time.ReadJaneAusten

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Baby Jane Austen

For more Pride & Prejudice variations, go to Death Comes to Pemberley

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to Captain Wentworth’s Diary 

Emma (1996) AKA the Kate Beckinsale Version

So when I say I’ll be reviewing Emma (1996), most people think about this:

Emma1996

I however will be talking about this:

emma1996

So this film follows the book of Emma pretty accurately. It doesn’t have everything, of course, as it is only a hour and 47 minutes, but it does a good job. So how I am going to do this review is a bit different, instead of looking at the storyline I am going to review how the characters were portrayed and the set design.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Set

Emmatableeating

So let’s look at the indoor set featured above. Now I know that A&E Television was trying to go for a more realistic feel, but heads up movie writers; if we cannot see the action happening then you need to skip “accurate” for enjoyable. Nobody wants to spend their money on something that can’t tell them what is happening.

what what'shappeningSupernatural

I agree that the chiaruscuro and candlelight is a nice effect, but not worth it. It is like when you watch Onegin and you have those scenes where you have no clue what anything looks like. Good thing for Ralph Fiennes’ amazing voice.

The rooms also lacked any pizazz or beauty.

Bones David Bored I;m bored boring

The outdoors were extremely lovely, and kudus to the screenwriters who show how the servants had to carry every component of the picnic up the hill for their Box Hill little party. That was great.

notgoodveronicamarsbadday

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Costumes

ball-in-emma-300x291

So while Emma (1996) aka Gwyneth Paltrow Version had this absolutely beautiful and stunning costumes, this version’s ones were so boring. I mean even Catherine had better things  than what the very rich Emma wore in this.

600full-northanger-abbey-poster

And “poor” Elizabeth also wore more attractive and beautiful garments.

Pride&PrejudiceDarcyLetter

These ones were just too plain and not befitting someone as important as Emma. I mean even her ball gown was boring.

Mehsleepyhollownotimportant

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Mr. & Mrs. Weston

Mandatory Credit: Photo by ITV / Rex USA ( 525489SJ ) James Hazeldine and Samantha Bond in 'Emma' - 1996 ITV ARCHIVE

So in the book Miss Taylor turned Mrs. Weston was Emma’s governess, but in reality her confidant and best friend. While they don’t spend as much time together, with her married, in a new home, and concentrating on her new family; still they are buds. In this we hardly ever see Mrs. Weston and I can’t recall a scene in which she talks to Emma, except to warn her about Frank and Jane’s upcoming marriage. Great job there A&E turning her whole character into a little blimp in the story.

Mr. Weston also hardly has any scenes or interactions in this film, which is a complete shame as he is a incredibly cool guy.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Harriet Smith

emmaharrietsmith

This is one area where the film was fantastic. I have not seen a portrayal of Harriet Smith as fantastic as the one done by Samantha Morton.

Wow

Wow

In this she doesn’t play Harriet as the empty flower pot or the kind-hearted klutz; instead Morton focused on the aspect of Harriet’s unknown parentage and ran with it in her presentation of the character. Before I watched this film, I never thought of what Harriet went through not knowing who her parents were. I mean if you think of how people treated those who were in a slightly lower class, but respectable (like the Bennets in Pride & Prejudice) imagine how they would treat someone who is unknown. When someone would not claim their child as their own, it typically meant an illegitimate birth, usually the mistress. So those girls in school were most likely not interested in becoming besties with Harriet, or having anything at all to do with her.

Noo!

Aw

This completely explains why Harriet is so eager to do everything Emma says. After so long of being alone; family-less and friendless, she finally has someone who cares about her and will do whatever she can to keep it.

EmmaHarrietbreakup

I have to say one of the best scenes is when Emma is chattering away about how Harriet’s father must be an important gentleman and you see Harriet looking down, brokenhearted saying something like I hope so.

Hope

The way she acts around Robert is also just adorable. You can tell she is crazy about him, but also scared. Scared of being abandoned again, rejected by her friend Emma, and making the wrong decision as she has no family to guide her.

I don't know what to do

Great job Morten.

And I truly mean it

And I truly mean it

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Jane Fairfax

6 governessjanefairfaxemma

Jane Fairfax is Emma’s character foil. While Emma doesn’t play piano well, paints okay, doesn’t read, has a meager education as she isn’t into studies, enjoys meddling, can be rude or snobby, and likes to do what she wants without thinking of others; Jane is the opposite. Jane is a superb piano player, an excellent painter, enjoys reading, has a high level of education, enjoys privacy, is kind, compassionate, and considerate of others. A regular Goofus and Gallant, (J.K. I love Emma). This is one of the reasons why Emma dislikes Jane, as she is envious of what she has accomplished.

Person hate talking

However, in this film they didn’t show that at all. Emma dislikes Jane, but we hardly see them react or why Emma is so jealous. We don’t hear others praise Jane, and the conversation when Emma is pumping Jane for information wasn’t intriguing.

This Jane hardly even seemed there, she wasn’t a very intriguing nemesis.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Mr. & Mrs. Elton

Mr&MrsEltonEmma

So Mr. & Mrs. Elton are some of the villians in the novel and film. Mr. Elton proposes to Emma and when she refuses him he is extremely rude to her and Harriet; going out of town and picking out a shrew of a woman to be his wife.

hate her

In this depiction they didn’t have as much of a role. We see them for the crucial scenes of Elton proposing, them cutting Harriet, and so and so.

I didn’t like their depiction as they are supposed to be more hatable. You are supposed to extremely dislike them and want bad things to befall them.

GoldenGirlsEat&DieTrash

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Mr. Frank Churchill

Frank Churchill - 3creepy

Frank Churchill is also supposed to be the villian in the book. At first he seems like a nice, sweet guy, courting Emma; but in reality he is a major jerk. He ignores his father, ignores his real fiancé, and leads Emma on.

How rude

The Frank Churchill wasn’t quite as sleazy as he should have been, in my opinion, but he did a good job. He had a painted on smile and gave off an air of insincerity; which worked really great. This actor did a great job and I give him a ten.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Mr. George Knightley

Emma010mrknightleyangrydisapproveface

I thought this was the worst depiction of Mr. Knightley. Where to start? Well first of all his hair. Why did they pick that particular hairstyle? It looks too mulletish and makes him have the appearance of a receding hairline.

ew! Gross Yuck

My biggest issue with Mark Strong as Knightley is that he is just too brooding to be Knightley. Knightley is older, but still relaxed enough to be best friend with Emma and joke around with her. He is serious but can also have fun.

Strong as Knightley is just brooding all the time and whenever he talks his eyes flash and he practically yells in anger. He makes me think of the Beast in Beauty and the Beast the way he reacts to everything and everyone.

Beauty and the Beast

I thought Strong made the character too dark, he would have been better as a Darcy than a Knightley.

I also didn’t like the scene of him with baby Emma, that was a little too weird. And the scene he announces his proposal he sounds as of he is yelling at everyone as if he is planning to destroy them all.

Gilmore girls creep

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Emma Woodhouse

emma kate beckinsale

I really hated this version of Emma. I thought Beckinsale was a horrible actor, just kind of staring off into space and being blank and like a piece of wood.

If she wasn’t being totally deadpan she had this creepy expression on her face like she wanted to devour everyone like a female praying mantis.

I thought it was horribly bland and boring.

Bones David Bored I;m bored boring

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Ending conclusion:

Something is not right!

I thought the way the characters were portrayed was boring, the transitions weird, and the film all around mediocre. There was no fun to it and the actors talked as if they were being paid an extra bonus if they could finish their lines in under three seconds.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

For more on Emma, go to Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Can’t Lose: Superbowl 50

For more Emma adaptations, go to Mr. Knightley’s Diary

For more Jane Austen films, go to I Don’t Want You Far From Me: Sense and Sensibility (1995)

For more Jane Austen adaptations, go to The Confession of Fitzwilliam Darcy