Unleashing Mr. Darcy (2016)

On Saint Patrick’s Day, my sister and I wanted to watch As Luck Would Have It, but I needed a Hallmark subscription and signed up for the seven day trial with full intention to end it as soon as the film was over.

Even though I chose not to renew the subscription, I still had the rest of the week to use it and decided to peruse what films and TV shows were being offered. Once such film I saw was Unleashing Mr. Darcy and I figured why not take advantage and use this time to review it.

This movie was terrible! I struggled so much with watching it that I actually had to stop watching it twice as the Elizabeth depicted in this was one of the worst I have ever seen.

The hallmark film is based off a book and while Unleashing Mr. Darcy could be seen as clever; I’d rather it be called Elizabeth Bennet the Incredibly Rude Girl.

Ugh…this girl

The film starts off with Elizabeth Scott (Cindy Busby), a history teacher, being bribed by the father of one of her students who wants his son to get a passing grade so he can continue to win at lacrosse. She refuses most definitely and then decides to spend her birthday doing her favorite thing; attending a dog show with her pup.

At the dog show she spots the very handsome dog show judge, Donovan Darcy (Ryan Pavey), and is smitten. When it is her turn to be judged; Darcy is extremely professional and this upsets Elizabeth. She’s mad that he didn’t fawn over her or “at least smile” as she tells him.

Yes, she’s incredibly rude to a judge who is currently judging her dog. She’s astonishingly unprofessional and rude. She then goes to her sister and friend and talks bad about Darcy, even though he did nothing wrong.

Elizabeth wins the dog show and instead of being pleased that Darcy is a professional and judged her on her dog’s merits than her terrible rudeness, she continues to talk about how terrible he is, when he did nothing to her.

Wow!

Afterwards they go out to celebrate Elizabeth’s birthday when it just so happens Darcy is eating there too with his sister. He is polite and says hello; along with introducing his sister, Zara. Zara makes a joke about her brother being important and her being a little person and Elizabeth is incredibly rude again, to his face and in front of everyone!

Her sister and family friend all are in shock, but Elizabeth defends her rudeness claiming he had it coming and that even his sister doesn’t like him. Ugh I had to stop watching as I really wanted to smack this girl.

Seriously!

After a day I picked up the film and Elizabeth gets accused of asking the parent for a bribe (the parent lying about what really happened) and is suspended. She is later let go and without anything else to do, she takes up her friend’s offer to be a dog handler and train her dogs. She moves to New York City to stay with the family friend, and moves right across the street from Darcy.

When she sees Darcy she continues to be incredibly rude to him for absolutely no reason at all and he remains classy and polite to her; although I don’t know why as she doesn’t deserve it.

Darcy’s dog is having puppies and he invites Elizabeth to see them. She goes over but he has been called away with a work emergency (she being very rude about it) and meets Darcy’s aunt and “supposed fiancé” (his aunt’s choice). Darcy’s aunt is rude but Caroline isn’t that terrible, I would rather she date Darcy than the Elizabeth featured in this film.

I know sacrilege, but I can’t help it, this Elizabeth is terrible.

Later Elizabeth gets word that the father that accused her of bribery, is trying to sue her. She is very upset over it all and goes for a walk with her dog. She runs into Darcy who is polite, asking her about her day and again she is incredibly rude, yelling at him and accusing him of never having a hard day and having no real problems. Mr. Darcy is a gentleman and ignores the terrible behavior; and for some reason that I cannot understand falls for her.

Someone get this boy some help.

Elizabeth later finds out from her friend that Darcy’s “perfect life” (her preconceived notions/prejudices) is not so perfect after all as Darcy is an orphan and he was left in charge of his sister even though she was very young and he was barely out of high school. He really fought to have her as he didn’t want them to be separated as he didn’t want Zara to lose another person in her life. Yeah feel bad Elizabeth, feel bad.

Again I had to take a break as she was just so infuriating. It turns out Elizabeth is fantastic at dog showing and winning ribbon after ribbon. Her friend continues to try and match Darcy and Elizabeth up, constantly trying to find a way to throw them together, etc.

In the end they have their happily ever after but I hated this film. Elizabeth was rude and immature; having none of the warmth or wit that causes viewers to admire her. Darcy was perfectly fine and I didn’t understand her dislike as nothing he did merited this “disgust or frustration.” He never insulted her or did anything to deserve this ire.

The only good part of the film was the Henry and Jenna/Mr. Bingley and Jane scenes as they were adorable. The problem was there wasn’t enough of them.

Ending remark:

For more hallmark Jane Austen film reviews, go to Christmas at Pemberley Manor (2018)

For more films based on Jane Austen, go to Pup Fiction: Wishbone (1997) or How I’m Trying to Brainwash My Six Year Old Niece Into Liking Jane Austen (and Wishbone)

For more Jane Austen film variations, go to I Watched Austenland (2013) With My 14 Year Old Niece

For more Pride and Prejudice, go to Marrying Mr. Darcy Card Game Undead Expansion Pack Review

For more Pride and Prejudice variations, go to Longbourn’s Songbird

Book Club Picks: Desperate Pastors’ Wives

So as you all know I started a book club, because you know me and books…

Every month we read a book and I do a little post on the book we read and discussed. What can I say, I just love books.

There is no theme, other than with each month, a different member gets to pick a book, whichever one they want. This time was the book member chose:

Desperate Pastors’ Wives (Secrets from Lulu’s Cafe #1) by Ginger Kolbaba and Christy Scannell

I’ve mentioned before that I’m a pastor’s kid, so I thought this would be very interesting in how it shows things they go through.

Hmm…?

There are four pastor’s wives from different domination. They met at a pastor’s wives breakfast put together by a very mean, annoying, awful Pastor Wife-Kitty. Kitty is one of those Queen Bee type girls who just loves to make fun of others, she also comes from a rich church and likes to use that as well to be mean to the others. She may be married to a pastor-but it is clear that she is not walking with God.

Each pastor’s wife is dealing with their own issues, the only thing keeping them together is their meeting in the next town at Lulu’s Cafe where they can dish, be themselves, and enjoy time away from prying eyes.

Mimi Plaisance is married to Pastor Mark Plaisance, a Methodist, and has a large crew of kids. She is in charge of practically everything and going going going all day long. Everyone relies on her to do everything, even help out at other churches, and she barely has a second to breathe. She is seen as the perfect baker, mother, Sunday School Teacher, and Pastor’s wife.

She tries to get the head of PTA but loses to another woman, Gloria, who stinks at everything. She has never lost in her life, she’s a winner at everything she tries-excels at everything! If they would rather have Gloria, what does that say about how they view Mimi? Maybe they don’t see her so well after all.

She also has the trouble that her husband’s paycheck as their home is controlled by the church Deans, so anytime they want to replace something or need money, they have to beg the Deans for money. These deans have been saying no, even though Mimi has been having to deal with a finicky oven that runs to hot or cold and makes everything undercooked unless she is watching and calibrating it perfectly. It all comes to a head when Mimi just breaks down from the load she is carrying, her food overcooks when she is supposed to be making a dinner for the deans. She gives up, serves them the food and walks out. She’s done with trying to be perfect-even bringing store bought fried chicken to the big picnic.

Will she figure out that she needs to just calm down and focus on God-instead of filling her life?

Felicia Lopez-Morrison is a PR executive. She and her husband, David, lived in LA when he decided to become a pastor. After he finished his pastor’s degree they moved to Colorado, taking over the First Baptist Church, where Felicia was lucky to find a job to transfer to. She’s not the typical pastor wife and gets a lot of flack for it.

In their small town of Red River, they expect her to stay home and take care of her child, oversee all the programs, wear what they consider “church clothes”, etc. No one ever likes her Mexican food and throw it out at potlucks, they don’t like that she gets her hair and nails done, goes to spas, etc. Her son doesn’t get as much time as she’d like and now he is biting kids at daycare! Everyone looks at her like it is her fault, as if she is bad mother. To make things worse, a woman from church and her husband have been working closely together.

She knows the woman is after her man, but is her husband having an affair or is he clueless? Will Felicia conform to how people think she should be or will she figure out there is only one person who’s opinion is important.

Lisa Barton has been having a hard time with her husband. Growing up a preacher’s kid she has always wanted to be a pastor’s wife and thought she knew everything about it. But she was not prepared for the fact that Pastor Joel Barton would care more about the church than her and their family. He’s always gone every second of the day doing something for God and he for the kids. And worse-he has no time for her, he’s so distant…the church are more his wife than Lisa. It has only been three years here and she feels unloved and unlovely, how much longer will it go on like this?

She even gets a makeover and does their room romantic, but he leaves her for a phone call from the church. He later misses and forgets to bring a cake to his child’s birthday party. Lisa had reached the end of her rope, will she finally talk it out with her husband and God?

Jennifer Shores has been wanting a baby forever. She feels as if it is the only thing missing from her marriage. Jennifer was in an abusive relationship and when she left ended up helping out at the woman’s shelter that helped her. She later was hired to be the secretary for Pastor Sam Shores, a widower who lost his wife in a drunk driving accident. After a while they started dating and got married. Jennifer has always felt insecure but even more taking the place of that perfect pastor’s wife. She wishes to have a child but nothing-miscarrige or her period comes every time.

Noooo!

It feels like God isn’t listening to her at all-why is he doing this! Jennifer walks out of church one day and decides she is never going back-heading to birdwatching hiking, and then finding herself at the Catholic church confessing her feelings to a priest. Will she find her way or give up on God and her husband?

Also the group notices perfect Kitty doing some vey strange stuff, what is going on with her? What is she hiding?

I thought it was really good and dealt with a lot of real life issues-the strain of being in the fishbowl and the expectations people may put on you. How the church can forget that you have a life and family. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve had people call all hours of the day and night, just drop by unannounced, expect that the pastor can drop everything last minute, think they own us and our lives because we are their pastor’s family, etc. Sometimes they forget we are people too and have a life outside of church.

I think the one I related to the most was Lisa. I’ve felt that way plenty in my life as it is hard to have the perfect balance as the family need attention, but the church sometimes seems to get more of it.

I also loved how each one had to focus on their relationship with God, and use each other to encourage and pray, to find their way. A great read.

For more book club books, go to Book Club Picks: Wuthering Heights

For more bible verses, go to Non-Austen Reads for Austen Readers: The Widow of Larkspur Inn

You’ve Persuaded My Heart

So we all know that Northanger Abbey is celebrating its 200th birthday. Well it isn’t the only one. When Northanger Abbey was published in 1818, it wasn’t published singularly like the other novels. Instead it came as a 2-for-1 deal, published jointly with Persuasion. 

Her brother Henry published this one and like Northanger Abbey, chose the title. We will never know exactly what Jane would have called it. But it doesn’t matter, it is a great book whatever it is called.

It is often called a wish fulfillment as old lovers broken apart are reunited years later, something Austen herself hoped would happen with her love, but never did.

The technical aspects of the navy seem to be based on Austen’s brother Captain Austen, and one of the main characters wives, based on her sister-in-law. That’s pretty cool and sweet of her to include them.

Hmm…

She also uses a strong irony in this as Anne was rich when she turned down poor Wentworth, but when he returns Anne is poor and Wentworth rich. I simply love this book because it seems so real, how the characters react and treat each other are the emotions they actually would.

Austen also does a great line about women being portrayed as a “femme fatale” so often as men are the writers of these novels; therefore the view is biased. Great book to check out, and we will be! We will be going through the book ourselves and checking out the great character of Anne Elliot:

And Captain Wentworth

And a whole crew of great characters!

Along with going through the book I will also be reviewing the books that are based on the novel or “rewrites” or “twists” on it.

Books:

Rational Creatures: Anne Elliot, Mrs. Croft, Mrs. Clay, & Louisa Musgrove by Elizabeth Adams, KaraLynne Mackrory, and Lona Manning; edited by Christina Boyd

Persuade Me (Darcy & Friends #2) by Juliet Archer

Recipe for Persuasion (The Rajes #2) by Sonali Dev

Recipe for Persuasion Audiobook Narrated by Soneela Nankani

The Lady Anne Elliot Wentworth, Duchess of Glastonbury by Timothy Figueroa

Jane in Love by Rachel Givney

Captain Wentworth’s Diary (Jane Austen Heroes #3) by Amanda Grange

The Family Fortune by Laurie Horowitz

“The Lost Chapter in the Life of William Elliot” by Jenetta James from Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MODERATE

Persuaded (The Jane Austen Diaries #3) by Jenni James

Persuasion: A Latter-Day Tale by Rebecca H. Jamison

Captain Wentworth’s Persuasion: Jane Austen’s Classic Retold Through His Eyes by Regina Jeffers

None But You (Frederick Wentworth, Captain #1) by Susan Kaye

For You Alone  (Frederick Wentworth, Captain #2) by Susan Kaye

”One Fair Claim” by Christina Morland from Dangerous to Know: Jane Austen’s Rakes &; Gentlemen Rogues edited Christina Boyd

Holiday Mix Tape by Beau North and Brooke West

Searching for Captain Wentworth by Jane Odiwe

For Darkness Shows the Stars (For Darkness Shows the Stars #1) by Diana Peterfreund

Anne Elliot, A New Begining by Mark Lydon Simonsen

Possibilities (The Austen Series #6) by Debra White Smith

Film:

Persuasion (1960)

Persuasion (1971)

Persuasion (1995)

The Jane Austen Book Club (2007)

Reading One Page Turns Into the Whole Book: Jane Austen Book Club (2007) Valentine’s Day Post 2020

A Letter of Love: Persuasion (2007) Valentine’s Day Post 2014

Persuasion (2007)

You Ever Notice That The Gossip Girl TV Show is a Lot Like Persuasion?

Persuasion (2022) or MadsenCreations and I Watched the New Persuasion So You Don’t Have To

For more on Persuasion, go to Jane Austen Bridal Shower

For more on Anne Elliot, go to You Put the Jedi in Pride & PreJEDIce

For more on Captain Wentworth, go to I’m On a Boat

Why Didn’t You Stop Me, Sam? You Know How Much I Hated Her! Why Didn’t You Stop Me?: The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (1946)

Why didn’t you stop me, Sam? You know how much I hated her! Why didn’t you stop me?

So I love Kirk Douglas:

How can you not like this face

In fact I even wrote him a fan letter once, but have yet to hear back from him.

Oh, well

Anyways, I picked up a great book not too long ago about his life, The Films of Kirk Douglas [although it ends with The Indian Fighter (1955)]. I found the book to be interesting, well written, and hard to put down.

So the first film that Kirk Douglas was in is called The Strange Love of Martha Ivers. It sounded so interesting-film noir about a woman who destroys one man after another in her pursuit of money, power, and love.

So when I spotted it on Amazon Instant Watch, I knew I needed to watch it immediately.

However, as I started watching the film it turned out that I was sadly mistaken. This film was nothing like what I thought it would be like.

I know, right?

So the film starts out with young Martha Ivers, niece to Mrs. Ivers (Judith Anderson) the richest woman in the town. Her aunt controls everything and everybody, except for one-Sam Masterson. The two were trying to run away together, just to be free, but are found out and Martha is sent back with her aunt.

Martha Ivers as a girl: You don’t own the whole world.

Mrs. Ivers: Enough to make sure you’re always brought back to me.

Mr. O’Neil, her tutor discovered where she was hiding. Mr. O’Neil is a super brownnoser, trying to get Mrs. Ivers to help his son Walter become more by blessing him with a good education. Mrs. Ivers thanks him for his help, but in no way does she care about him or his needs.

Meanwhile, upstairs Martha and Walter are talking when Sam arrives to take her with him. Everything is going well until Mrs. Ivers senses something is up, as Martha has been far too quiet, and heads upstairs. Sam sees Mrs. Ivers and runs off, Mrs. Ivers trips on Martha’s cat (which Mrs. Ivers hates), Mrs. Ivers begins to hit the cat with her cane, and Martha becomes so angry that she takes the cane, beats her aunt, and Mrs. Ivers falls down the stairs dead.

Walter saw everything, so Martha takes him into her confidence and gets him to lie with her to his father, Mr. O’Neil. She says a man came in and attacked her aunt.

Mr. O’Neil looks at the body and Martha and figures everything out about what really must have happened. But he goes along with her, using this to tie the two kids in the closest bond imaginable.

Time passes and we pick up in the present with Sam Masterson (Van Heflin) who is driving along. Since he ran away Sam has been everywhere, with all kinds of women, and done  little of everything-although he gets his money from gambling. He is surprised to find himself back in his old area, so surprised that he crashes his car and has to stay in Iverstown until it is fixed.

He discovers that Walter O’Neil (Kirk Douglas) and Martha Ivers (Barbara Stanwyck) married and that Walter did get the fancy education, making him district attorney. Sam heads off looking around the changed town and meets a young, troubled, blonde, Toni Marachek. 

Hmm…

For me this is where the story seriously tanks.

Ugh.

Sam falls in love with Toni after just meeting her. It is really weird as he is this tough guy who takes whatever he wants from people, you know, and then this girl gives him like 3% of her life story and he is hooked. I thought the whole interaction was dumb and not necessary. It was also extremely boring.

Eventually after a lot of blah, blah, blah

Blah, blah

It turns out Toni is an ex-con and that since she didn’t take her bus home like she was supposed to, she broke probation and was sent back to prison. Sam is so upset that he lost his “love”

YOU JUST MET HER AND KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HER!!!!!

So he goes to Walter to try and get him to spring her. Walter has become an alcoholic, his life devastated at the fact that he helped send an innocent person to prison. When Sam comes in asking for things, Walter assumes that Sam witnessed the death of Mrs. Ivers and is trying to blackmail them.

Meanwhile, Martha runs into Sam and she likes what she sees more than ever. She never got over Sam, and even though Walter loves her with every part of his being, she can’t stand him. She constantly tries to come on to Sam and rekindle their childhood interest.

Meanwhile, a jealous Walter tries to take care of Sam-using Toni to set him up and sending guys after him to rough him up a bit.

Ouch

Sam survives and comes to take revenge on Walter. The two fight, with Walter trying to shoot Sam, but Sam wrestling it out of his hands.

Martha runs off to a private rendezvous with Martha and as they are talking it is revealed that Sam never saw anything.

Martha Ivers: Why didn’t you stop me, Sam? You know how much I hated her! Why didn’t you stop me?

Sam Masterson: I wasn’t there.

Martha Ivers: Why didn’t you stop…[realizes] You, weren’t there?

Sam Masterson: No, I left as soon as I saw your aunt enter the room.

Now armed with such knowledge, Sam makes a double play. One-he starts demanding more from Walter while two-making Martha care for him again.

What jerks

It all comes to a head when Walter and Sam fight, Walter falling down stairs, drunk, and discovered by Martha. Martha tries to convince Sam to kill her husband so they can be together.

Help me! I’m confused!

Sam refuses, and then Martha tries to get Walter to kill Sam. Sam doesn’t like where everything is going.

Eventually Sam leaves, and Walter and Martha are left together in their twisted web of deceit and division. Martha tries to say something to Walter, but he shoots her.

Wow

Afterwards he turns the gun on himself.

Sam and Toni take off into his car free forever.

I thought this was horrible. I was looking for mystery, plotting, intrigue, evil woman creating downfall everywhere she went, etc. Instead we got insta-romance and boring melodrama. I would just pass this film on by, not worth your time at all. And let me say, I cannot fathom how every girl was going ga-ga over Van Heflin. He’s not that attractive or particularly charming.

And yeah, again no banner for this film. I don’t know why I picked so many bannerless films this year. Oh, well.

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to I Don’t Kill People Anymore: Psycho II (1983)

For more film-noir, go to It’s A Hard World: Backfire (1950)

For more Kirk Douglas, go to Make My Day

For more with Judith Anderson, go to Murder is My Favorite Crime: Laura (1944)

I Want to Give You What You Love: Age of Adaline (2015)

Most Romantic Moment #2

The Age of Adaline (2015)

So I was recommended this film by a friend, but I didn’t like it.

It wasn’t horrible, but this sort of thing has been done before and I felt this film didn’t really do anything new or different. I also didn’t like how she was with both the father and son.

But there was one thing I found extremely romantic, so I wanted to include it in my countdown.

Adaline Bowman was born on New Year’s Day on 1908. She married and had daughter, only to sadly become a widow a few years later.

In 1937 she was driving in a snowstorm and fell into a freezing pond. She died, but was brought to life when lightening struck the water.

What?!

Since that day, Adaline doesn’t age, remaining 29 and being forced to constantly be on the move.

I need to get out of here

This New Year’s Eve, she meets Ellis Jones at a party, introducing herself as Jennifer. He’s interested, but Adaline knows it isn’t the best idea to be romantically involved, as she has had things go wrong 40 years ago.

However, Ellis won’t give up  and the two begin to seriously date. He invites her to come with him for his parents 40th anniversary. When they get there Adaline realizes that Ellis’ father is one of her past boyfriends, William, the one from 40 years ago.

At first William seems to buy that the women he met all those years ago is not Adaline/Jennifer, but “her mother”. But then William spots something that confirms that she is the woman from years past. Will Adaline be able to live in peace or have to take off again?

Most Romantic Moment: I Brought You the Type of Flowers You Want

So you guys know what I think of being given flowers.

I would prefer something that will last a long time.

So Ellis has tried a few things to woo Adalind, but nothing has worked.

Hmmm….

But then he realizes what Adalind really loves:

And instead of bringing flowers, he brings books with flower names.

How sweet!

This is so romantic! He took the time to think and see what would make her happy and give her that, instead of something clichéd or easy.

To start Romance is in the Air: Part V, go to I Did It for You: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

For more Moreland quotes, go to Sleep is Not Important

For more on books being the best gift, go to Post Approved