Don’t Let My Size Fool You

Ever hear don’t judge a book by its cover, it might surprise you? Well, I’m the same thing. Except for me its my size. I’m only 5’3 so people often think that I’m a weakling or need help.

FightMe5'3StarWars

But I’m a firecracker and a lot tougher than what you see at first glance.

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Looks also don’t help as everyone thinks I’m 17 (or sadly sometimes younger).

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But hey, even though the body looks like a baby, I have experience and intelligence in my brain that makes up for the lack of marks on my face or height.

thought you would be older

So don’t let my size fool you.

For more on being short, go to These Shoes Were Made for Walking

For more on being a baby face, go to Clothes Make the Woman

For more Princess Leia, go to A New Hope

For more on William Shakespeare, go to You’re Just Too Good Too Be True: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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Remember, Remember The 5th of November

V for vendetta V remember the 5th of november

So today is Guy Fawkes Day and you know what that means…

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So this something I actually have to thank my ex-boyfriend for. He may have been a cheating scumbag that at times I really want to punch in the face (or kick in the junk)

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But he did introduce me to some great musicV for Vendetta, and The Sandman Chronicles.

As it is the 5th of November, it is time to honor it and V. V is amazing. First of all he’s played by Hugo Weaving.

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I know, what an amazing actor!!! He has some serious fighter skills!

This was my first date with my ex and all I could do was swoon over him. V, that is not my ex.

swoon dreamy

Besides being an epic fighter, he’s a man with a message and something to fight for.

V for vendetta government

Now do I agree with everything he does? No. He never should have cut Evey’s hair. A girl’s hair is more than hair, it is a part of their identity, a mark of their femininity. What he did was just wrong there.

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

But you can’t help but be swayed by him. He is so eloquent!

V

In fact, I became so enthralled that I actually wrote a song about the film from V to Evey. I composed it as I was biking to school and was unable to write it down. Sadly, by the time I got to class I couldn’t remember much. This is about all I can recall:

“I cut off all your hair,

But I swear to you I care

Because I’ve got a vendetta to win your heart

(Win your heart) (Win your heart)”

Silly huh? But what’s a fangirl to do?

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So today I have a proposition for you all. Now none of you under obligation:

Trueallegiance

So last year my friend Benita, who is also a huge fan, and I were discussing the film. She suggested that we should tag walls with Vs on November 5th to honor him. I thought that was a great idea, but didn’t want to get in trouble for vandalism. I thought we should do it in chalk, as it washes off, but that’s when I came up with a better idea!

Its-so-crazy it just mightwork

But I thought what could make this 5th of November really special would be if we would post this picture on our facebook walls.

Remember_remember the 5th of NOvember V for Vendetta

And then on 5 of our friends’ walls asking them to do the same. If we all work together we can cover the world!!! Think about it!

V-for-Vendetta-2005-movie-quote Idea live forever

And never forget:

V for vendetta V remember the 5th of november

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For more on dystopian futures, go to In Their Proper Place

For more on hot masked men, go to I’m Batman!

For more on Hugo Weaving, go to Beast or Man

For more films based on books, go to What Have We Done to Each Other?

For more on Lylod Alexander, go to A Hidden Wonder

For more of my favorite quotes, go to There’s Nothing Out There. Nothing in the Mist

Every Time I Bring a Girl Over, You Try to Eat Her!: Vampires Suck (2010)

Vampires Suck

Every time I bring a girl over, you try to eat her! It’s not fair!

So I LOVED this movie! I found it so freakin’ hilarious, OMG.

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So I am not a fan of the Twilight series, never read them and never seen them (except for the one time my friend and I watched part of it with the audio off and made the characters say funny things and Everything Wrong With Twilight). All my friends were into it, and at my school people would get into literal fights over who was better Jacob or Edward. It was like Raider and 49er fans fighting, but much worse. I was never team Edward or Jacob but:

twilight

After all:

Pale

I had friends who were hardcore fans (Twihards as I called them) and told me everything, but I couldn’t find it that interesting. I thought it was just a rehash of old things:

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And I’m a purist. My vampires need to be like Dracula and my werewolves like The Wolf Man.

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Anyways, so this movie came out in 2010 and when I saw the trailer, I was intrigued as it looked really funny.

And it was! The jokes were spot on, not only spoofing the film but the pop culture of the day.

From Edward’s strange, crazy ways.

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To Jacob’s constant stripping and showing his body.

To the fights girls would have over the guys.

Vampires Suck Shovel Fight

It even has a cameo of Buffy the vampire slayer.

vampires-suck-Buffy the VS

It was so great I wanted to watch it again. You should definitely check it out.

2010VampiresSuck!

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to But the Book, It Will Never Close…

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For more on Vampires, go to When the Itsy-Bitsy Spider is No Longer Itsy-Bitsy

For more on werewolves, go to Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf?

For more parodies, go to All I Know About Trilogies is That in the Third One, All Bets are Off

For more modern teenage remakes, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts that Lie Hidden Within

For more films based on a book, go to I Was Here for a Moment. And Then I Was Gone

For more on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to You Can’t Have Just One!

For more on Everything Wrong With, go to Let Them Fight

For more fangirl posts, go to How I Differ From Others

What is This Thing?: Phantoms (1998)

Just what is this thing? Chaos, chaos in the flesh.

Phantoms is a 1998 film that is based on the book by Dean Koontz. The story is very creepy, and I was surprised at how well the film was done. I thought it was going to be done in a very stupid, silly way; but it was the essence of creepiness. The only thing I didn’t care for was Liev Schreiber, I felt that he didn’t portray the character very well in the beginning. I wouldn’t have chosen Rose McGowan either, but she did surprisingly well. I loved Ben Affleck as the sexy Sheriff and love interest. I love Ben Affleck though, I mean who doesn’t? They changed the film from the book, as expected, but the changes do not destroy the film, thank goodness. If you’d like to watch the film go here. So the film starts out with Dr. Jennifer Pailey bringing her trouble-making sister Lisa to live with her. They are hoping the change of scenery will help straighten her out as she was involved with gang members in Los Angelas.

I want to go back to LA

When they reach the town, it is empty. Like really empty. There is no one out and about even though they are in a ski town, in the middle of winter with great snow.

Gilmore girls creep

They continue on home. When Jennifer gets there she finds her housekeeper dead. All the life had been sucked out of her and she looks burned.

[Note: Pic from The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms not Phantoms

[Note: Pic from The Giant Behemoth not Phantoms]

OMG

The girls are widely freaked and decided to head to the sheriff’s. But there is one problem, their car won’t work.

Oh no!

Oh no!

The girls hurry on to the sheriff’s office where they find a deputy, burned and blackened. He appears to have shot his gun at something, but they don’t find any traces of it, except shells. Dr. Jennifer grabs a gun and the two run off to the bakery, as it is getting dark and they are really freaked out. They head to the baker’s, running quickly as they hear sounds as if someone is following them. When they get there the oven goes off revealing severed heads!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

The girls are completely grossed out and confused when the Sheriff (who ex-FBI) finds them.

Hello Sexy!

Hello Sexy!

With him are his two deputies Steve Shanning (Nicky Katt) and Stuart Wargle (Liev Shreiber) have come to investigate. They decide the best thing to do is go to the sheriff’s department, and just when they do every single horn, siren, whistle, bell, etc. goes off and then suddenly stops. The only lights left on are down on the Candleglow Inn up the street.

What the

They check it out and see that only four guests are registered. The Sheriff and Stu go upstairs, while the girls stay behind with deputy Steve.

While the sheriff is upstairs he goes into a room and starts looking through an opening in a closet. When he does he sees a vision of a young boy with a gun, which disappers. You see when the Sheriff was FBI he accidentally shot a boy, which made him quit and turn to small town life.

Aw! Look at his face. :(

Aw! Look at his face. 😦

Stu goes in the other room and finds a beautiful, dead woman. He sits next to her and puts his hand up her leg…

ew! Gross Yuck

What a perv!

Certified Creepo Ribbon

Then the Sheriff walks in. He lets it go, even though he is severely grossed out as he knows what Stu was doing, but he needs every man he can get as he has no idea what the situation is.

The Sheriff has Stu watch the hall as he continues checking things out. Stu comes on to Lisa who tells him flat out no, she is not digging that.

I don't think so

Dr. Jennifer joins the Sheriff and they discover that a bathroom locked from the inside (that has no other windows or doors) is empty, with something written on the mirror in lipstick. The writing says “Dr. Timothy Flyte–The Ancient Enemy“.

Phantoms Timothy Flyte Ancient Enemy mirror Note

 

The two have no idea who Dr. Flyte is but intend on finding out.  In another empty room they find a bunch of metal objects like jewelry, buttons, watches, gold teeth, a pacemaker, etc.; concluding that this thing, whatever it is strips a person completely of everything, if it chooses.

EW!

EW!

They go back into the lobby to regroup and figure out their next step. But then they suddenly hear a woman crying out “Help me!” and Deputy Steve rushes out to save her. The Sheriff follows him, but when he gets outside all that is left of Steve is his shoes and a gun.

What the

They head back to the Sheriff’s office and put the dead deputy in a body bag. They then call for help–military, Dr. Flyte, anybody, but the line was so bad they don’t know whether or not it went through.

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! [Note: from When a Stranger Calls not Phantoms]

Bryce and Stu go through the dept. and pull out all their ammunition getting ready for–whatever the thing is that is trying to attack them. The lights go out and the creature takes on a Alien/The Thing (1982) feel. The next thing you know, Stu is dead.

victim

Too be honest, good riddance. He was a creep and I didn’t like him.

IDon'tTrustHimGreatGatsby

They also put Stu in a body bag and wait out the night.

We then switch to another part of the country- Dr. Flyte. Dr. Flyte (Peter O’Toole) is a tabloid worker in New York City. He used to a professor at Oxford, but they let him go as they felt his writings were “too silly”.

Phantoms Swine Peter O' Toole

 

Two FBI agents ask him to go to the small, winter, town of Snowfield to help solve what the “thing” is.

Back in Snowfield the three survivors are trying to figure out what to do next. Lisa tries to take a nap while the Sheriff tells Dr. Jen about how the monster called up the incident with the young boy. The two are interrupted when Lisa asks the Sherif to walk with her to the bathroom. He checks it and finds it clear. Lisa begins to smoke when she hears a squealing noise coming out of the drain.

Psycho-Shower

She checks out the bathroom stalls (much like Scream) and finds the Deputy Stu there!

im-back

 

Scream-Casey-Becker-drew-barrymore-31896958-2560-1088

In the book the “Phantom thing” was more like the Blob from The Blob (1958); although it could take on the shape of other things, or create small phantom pieces of itself. In the film, however, the “Phantom” embodies the form of Stu, which is understandable from a filmmaker point of view. It doesn’t copying The Blob at all, as I mentioned earlier copying The Thing. Just like The Thing, the “phantom” takes on the appearance of something. This wasn’t a horrible decision as I bet it was easier to film. They also did a lot of blackout or limited lighting when the creature was in its true form, which allowed it to remain creepy as your imagination creates it. The director of It (1990)  should have used the same technique, it would have been a better film.

I didn’t really care for Liev Schreiber, and thought he could have been much creepier. Instead he just comes off as a pervert. This film has actually ruined him for me in all other films. When I watch Kate & LeopoldScream, Scream 2, Scream 3, Lee Daniel’s the Butler, or X-Men Origins: Wolverine; I keep expecting him to do something perverted to all the women.

Yes I am

Yes I am

Anyways, back to the story. So the Sheriff goes into the bathroom and can’t find anything. They go down to check the body bags, but both are empty.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile Dr. Flyte is on route to Snowfield with military General Leland Copperfield, some mobile labs, an armored strike van, etc–all ready to take on whatever the “thing” is. They ask Dr. Flyte about “the Ancient Enemy”. Dr. Flyte explains that there were creatures, he calls “Ancient Enemy” who are amoeboid shapeshifters. This Ancient Enemy rarely feeds, but when it does, the effects are devastating and it was theorized that the Enemy either caused or aided in the extinction of the dinosaurs, the destruction of the Mayan civilizationRoanoke disappearance, the missing army of Nanking, China in 1939, etc. And the town appears to have been built on the home of one of these “Ancient Enemies”.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

The group arrives to Snowfield and the three survivors come to meet the army. The next thing you know, “the thing” has taken out almost the whole team using its shape-shifting qualities and the pipes/sewers. Now these scenes are pretty intense. I was watching them and screaming and my roommates were all, are you ok? I highly recommend watching this film.

General Copperfield is last of the military to be killed; as a pair of oily black tentacles seeps up through the pavement, penetrates his hazmat suit, and smothers him.

[Note: From The Mist]

[Note: From The Mist]

This leaves Dr. Flyte, Sheriff Bryce, Jenny, and Lisa as the remaining survivors..

He’s dead but the “Phantom” uses his body as a mouthpiece and begins speaking to the crowd.

 “My Flesh. Study it. Write the gospel. But do not try to leave. Witnesses to the Miracle.”

Phantoms

The body then falls to the ground and an oily black substance comes out along with a gecko, of which the group is supposed to get a sample of. Dr. Flyte begins to analyze the sample, coming to the conclusion it has lived in the depths of the earth for eons, growing to immense size, and absorbing knowledge from its prey. It can separate off parts of Itself to send as drones, warriors, phantoms, etc.–having them assume the shapes of anything or anyone It has absorbed; even of people or monsters from memories and dreams.With these, It has manipulated Bryce, Jenny, and Lisa into bringing Dr. Flyte here, to be Its prophet, and to write Its gospel. For It has begun to think of Itself as God–or the Devil. Indestructible. All-Powerful. Immortal. Unstoppable.

This is bad. Very bad.

This is bad. Very bad.

Dr. Flyte’s analysis reveals that It is similar to oil and if they are able to make the same kind of bacteria that eats away at oil spills, they may just have a chance at stopping it. They create cultures and prepare for the final battle.

Dr. Flyte goes out and calls to the creature.

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He tells It that he needs to see all of it in order to write Its “gospel”. He says that the others are creating a weapon against It, that they don’t believe in It like he does. It appears first as a single person, but then becomes all 400 residents of the town, merging and melding into one swirling mass, which resolves Itself into an immense, hideous, upright millipede.

The Sheriff, Jenny and Lisa run and fire the guns loaded with the bacteria culture  into It. This causes It to scream.  Jenny and Lisa run for shelter into the nearby deputy’s office, to reload their guns but are pursued by a drone of Deputy Stu.

Deputy Wargle: Oh, you've got some guns, ladies, you wouldn't shoot an unarmed man, would you? [both women cock shotguns and point them at him] Deputy Wargle: That's a dumb question.

Deputy Wargle: Oh, you’ve got some guns, ladies, you wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man, would you? [both women cock shotguns and point them at him] That’s a dumb question.

They empty their shotguns into him, knocking him down, and blowing away huge chunks of his legs and arms. Tentacles shoot out of his arm and leg stumps. The girls run away and and he follows, but is killed by Dr. Jen as she shoots him with the last of the culture.

The bigger entity is falling apart and the Sheriff follows the last of It down into the sewer, finding him face to face with the boy that he killed. He hesitates, and while he does so, a tentacle shoots out of the boy’s mouth, and knocks him down. His gun with the culture is stolen by It. It pulls the vials out and starts taunting the Sheriff. In response to It’s mockings the Sheriff pulls out his gun and shoots the vials, causing the bacteria to spread all over.

Hello Sexy!

With one final ear-shattering scream It is gone, and Bryce makes his way back to the others. As a helicopter arrives to rescue them, Dr. Flyte announces to the others that the Entity has won after all: It wanted him to tell the world, and that’s just what he’s going to do. Everything seems to end well, or well enough. Dr. Flyte has his story and will win back his prestige; Sheriff Bryce  is no longer traumatized about killing the boy; Dr. Jen and Sheriff Bryce have found each other; and Lisa and Dr. Jen have bonded. Sounds as perfect an ending you can get for a horror film.

TheEnd_Title_2

Uh, uh uh. Not quite yet!

We switch to a scene in a bar where Dr. Flyte is in TV talking about It and how it may still be out there waiting. One of the guys in the bar turns to his companion and says its a lot of hooey. A strange laugh is heard and at the end of the bar is Deputy Stu Wrangle, showing that It is still alive.

dun-dun-duuuun

So it really was a good film, and I’m telling you the scenes with the creature are super creepy!!! You’ll love them if you love scary movies!

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So unlike the other facebook cover pages I have made (and you should have guessed by now that practically every post has one) I made two for this one as the first one wasn’t working out right. Here’s the second one for those of you interested.

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Comment below which you think is better!

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts That Lie Hidden Within

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For more monster movies, go to Let Them Fight

For more films based on books, go tA Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

For more on Rose McGowan, go to What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?

For more on Ben Affleck, go to Pot o’ Gold

Let Them Fight: Godzilla (2014)

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“This alpha predator of yours, doctor, do you really think he has a chance? The arrogance of men is thinking nature is in their control and not the other way around. Let them fight.”

So when this film came out I had mixed feelings. I was a huge Godzilla fan when I was a kid and saw all the films growing up, and after the 1998 debacle I wasn’t too excited. My friend, however, really wanted to see the midnight showing, so we did. After I saw the film, I had even more mixed feelings of it. So here we are the pros & cons

Pay Attention

Pay Attention

Pros:

1) Opening Credits

  • These beginning credits were amazing! I loved how they had pictures from old drawing of plesiosaurus, dinosaurs, disaster headlines, and pictures from the 1940s-50s atomic testing. I thought it was a great idea to overlay it by blacking out words and names to reveal the director, producers, actors, etc.

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2) Half the Film Was Set in Japan.

ringu4

  • I loved that the beginning to middle of the film was set in Japan as it made it much closer to the original film. I felt it also made Godzilla seem more authentic having it set in Japan. And I absolutely loved that unlike the “whitewashed” Godzilla (1998) they had lots of Asians in the film who actually spoke in Japanese.

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3) Increased Diversity

Double double yay

  • I also loved that when they moved through different locations, the diversity continued. In Japan we have Japanese; in Hawaii, we see Asians, Whites, and Pacific Islanders; and in  California we have a huge increase in Latino actors. This was great as even in 2014, films tend to be centered on one ethnic group.

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4) Godzilla Was Actually Godzilla-(Ravaged the City while Protecting it)

Godzilla-2014-destroycity

  • This is extremely important, as who wants a Godzilla that doesn’t do anything? The earlier Godzilla films caused countless destruction, but at the same time were trying to “save” the city from other monsters. A type of “I’m the only one who can ruin this city”-type thing. You know, like when you have an older sibling that picks on you, but protects you from everyone else? Well in the 1998 Godzilla, not only was it an incredibly dumb storyline (and oh Matthew Broderick was incredibly stupid in that film!) but he just destroyed. He wasn’t fighting anything.

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Cons:

1) WHERE WAS GODZILLA???

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

  • GODZILLA WAS BARELY EVEN IN THE FILM!!!!! It takes 55 minutes, HALF THE FILM!!!!, before we even SEE GODZILLA!!!!! I mean I know they wanted to surprise us and throw us for a loop by having the first creature be the MUTO (Moving Unidentified Terrestrial Object), instead of Godzilla; but really? REALLY????? THEY ARE ONLY GOING TO SHOW THE BACK OF GODZILLA???!!!! WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FILM???!!! GODZILLA!!! NOT MUTO!!!

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2) Fight? More Like Flight!

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

  • WHAT WAS UP WITH THE FIGHT SCENES???!!! We get a millisecond of him fighting the male MUTO and a glimpse of the female. Then that’s it, game over. Really, really now? Why do you think I even came to see this film, I wanted to see the freakin’ monsters fight!!!

post-32452-this-is-a-fight-gif-we-are-fig-xWvc

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3) MUTO? Better Name WIT (What is This?)

What the

  • What was up with the MUTOs? What the heck were those things?
  • I get the teasing of Mothra. We  see it on the poster in Ford Brady’s room and it is the name of one of his pet insects.  But then its not Mothra, and I’m okay with that if only they WOULD TELL US WHAT IT IS!!! They give us a male bat/moth thing and a female bat/ape thing? What are they? Where did they come from? Tell us! TELL US!!!

Suspense have to know

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4) The Wife

Hate YOu

  • I FREAKIN’ HATED THE WIFE!! SHE WAS SOOO HORRIBLE!!
  • She did not act like one happy to see the person they have been apart from. I mean she hasn’t seen him in IN OVER 14 MONTHS and he has a job where HE COULD DIE EVERY DAY!!! They are back together and she’s like “nope I need to answer the phone.” “Oh you have to leave, I’ll see you soon. Good-bye!” I mean her husband just got back and she’s pushing him off!!!! She should have been like “I don’t want you to go but your dad needs you so you need to go” or something.
  • Then there is when she thinks her husband is hurt in the destruction of Japan by the MUTO. THERE IS NO WAY THAT SHE WOULD HAVE LEFT HER PHONE IN THE OTHER ROOM AND ON VIBRATE. SHE WOULD HAVE THAT THING LOUD AND ON HER 24/7 IN CASE HE CALLED!!!
  • Then she is at the hospital, and let me do one quick reminder. Her husband has returned after being away over 14 months. He immediately had to go to Japan where there has been all kinds of destruction (as MUTO escaped) and she hasn’t heard from him. Then she gets a call on the hospital phone while she is at work (she’s a nurse) AND DOESN’T ANSWER THE PHONE??? SHE HASN’T SPOKEN TO HER HUSBAND IN OVER 24 HOURS!!! SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN RUSHING TO THAT PHONE TO SEE IF IT WAS HER HUSBAND!!!
  •  I thought she was having an affair or something the way she acted.

suspicious

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5) We Can Kill Them- They’re Just Tourists

  • They kill sooooooooooo many people.
  • When they are in Hawaii, one of the largest tourist attractions ever, and they don’t even clear the beaches before they start bombing and shooting? That was like Waikiki, do you know how many people are there on vacations?
  • In San Francisco, they just bomb and shoot everything!
  • There is no way they could do that. They could never get away with that much killing of U.S. citizens, no way!!

If you really want a closer look at the issues with it, check out Everything Wrong With. They are spot on!

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But no matter what issues it face it was far, far, far better than that travesty of a Broderick film, and that in itself is enough for me.

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To start  Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to I’ll Be Back

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For more on Godzilla, go to Just Follow the Screams

For more on monster movies, go to They’re Coming to Get You

For more on atomic bombs, go to From the Sea Burning Like Fire

For more remakes, go to It’s Coming From Inside the House

I Can Be Your Best Friend Or Your Worst Enemy: The Cable Guy (1996)

You know what the trouble about real life is? There’s no danger music

This movie is really creepy! Jim Carrey is awesome as a creepy freak. If you have ever seen Batman Forever, you would know that, but this is the clincher.

Certified Creepo Ribbon

The saddest thing about this is though, when I watch this film I see myself. The way he talks about films and TV; I just know that if I was a psychopath I would be Chip Douglas. Or Billy in Scream.

screamBilly

So the film is directed by Ben Stiller and also stars Matthew Broderick. [You know with all those comedians it just has to be good]. And this is considered a black comedy, like Heathers, by most, but to me it definitely is a Horror-Comedy, or just down right horror film with comedic moments.

So Matthew Broderick’s character, Steve, had proposed to is girlfriend, but she turned him down. Steve then moves into his own apartment. He is depressed and about to get cable when his friend, played by Jack Black, tells him to bribe the cable guy and have him hook him up with all the premium channels.

Steve does, but that is his big mistake. Chip hooks him up, making him one of his VIP customers.

Ouch

Ouch

All of a sudden Chip starts running into Steve, ALL the TIME. And it isn’t pretty.

Chip starts calling him all the time, sabotaging his cable when he doesn’t get a reply.

“Chip Douglas: Hey Steve I’m on a pay phone, so if you’re there pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, well OK, call me back.”

Steve wants to have his cable fixed, so he makes up with Chip.

Funny-how-you call when need something cable guy

Chip in turn takes him to Medieval World, we see the psychotic and neurotic side coming out even more.

Things start getting worse. Chip wants to help Steve get back with Robin and ends up beating up her date, Owen Wilson.

He gives Robin free cable “on Steve”, and Robin gets back with Steve.

Steve doesn’t want to be friends with Chip anymore, but Chip doesn’t like that answer.

Chip ends up kidnapping Robin, and he and Steve have an epic fight at the end where Chip says my favorite line:

Chip Douglas: You know what the trouble about real life is? There’s no danger music”

This something I agree with as I think that life would be so much better if it did. Imagine if the Jaws theme song played when bad stuff was going to happen. Or a love song played when you met the perfect person for you.

thememusic

You should check this out, although just so you know I saw this film on TV so I’m not quite sure how graphic it is.

That’s today’s post, more to come! 9 Days ‘Till Halloween!

Here’s a little cover photo I made for my facebook page.

8carey

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To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Potato

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For more Horror-Comedy, go to Someone Very Special

For more on psychopaths, go to It’s Alive, It’s ALIVE!

For more on obsessed individuals, go to I Saw Goody Osburn With the Devil

For more in stalkers, go to The Only Thing That Matters is the Ending

You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Potato: Aliens in the Attic (2009)

You’re gonna need a bigger potato.

First I want to say happy 50th! This is my 50th post! I never thought I would make so many in such a few months 😀

So I know this isn’t really a Halloweeny film; but it has aliens in it so it counts. I was up early this morning and was flipping channels and this came on. I remember when this first came out in theaters, I never saw it as I thought it was going to be extremely dumb and full of childish slapstick comedy. It was full of that, and it was pretty dumb at times; but it ended up being better than I thought it would be. I actually only came in at the end of the film, so it took a while for me to get a sense of what was going on.

So these aliens invade, and only the kids are aware of this; as always the adults are stupidly blind to anything going on.

When I came into the story, the aliens had attached these mind control devices to one of the kids, Bethany’s, boyfriend Ricky. There was also one attached to the Grandma, but the kids were controlling it. The twin boys were incredibly adorable and remind me of my nephew who is obsessed with video games.

The fight between the two, was purely structured to garnish cheap laughs from children as they watch an elderly lady kick butt.

The only thing that makes this scene even funny is the lovely Doris Roberts. I love her so much!

Bethany comes in at the end and sees her boyfriend kicked through the basement. The other kids tell her that aliens have invaded which she finds hard to believe. She goes to talk to her loser boyfriend, which we find out is a liar and cheating on her. He breaks up with her and takes off.

The adults discover the worn-torn, destroyed room and immediately yell at the oldest kid in the room, Tom (Bethany is in the basement). All the kids get sent up to their rooms as they are being punished for destroying everything.

Bethany reconvenes with them upstairs trying to do something. Tom has given up, as he feels they can do nothing to save Earth. Bethany tries to get everyone to go fight, but they won’t follow anyone but Tom.

Tom I thought was very attractive. Super sexy as he was played by Carter Jenkins. Anyways, Tom is now encouraged and they go down to the basement to defeat the aliens.

When they get there they discover their cousin Jake, played by Austin Butler. (Where has he gone? I haven’t seen him in anything recently.) He was kidnapped by the Zarkonian aliens and knows they are trying to create some kind of machine. The kids had become friends with one of the aliens, Spark, and he is the techno one that they are forcing to build the machine.

Metropolis supermachine

They are about to give up again, when Jake comes up with a mentos/cola bomb. They shoot them at the aliens which knock them all out except for the commander. Tom takes him out with his potato gun, which accidentally knocks him into the machine they were forcing Sparks to create.

Everyone cheers at this, but then Sparks tells them that it is not good, it makes the commander big!

They have to try and battle him while the other kids handle the small aliens. Jake is able to distract the commander while Tom calibrates the mathematic equation to shoot the commander with a mind controlling device. While he is doing this, one of the other aliens increases his size and the commander and him have an epic fight.

While they duke it out Sparks reverses the machine, making anything that goes through it little. Tom sends them both through the machine, with the “ugly” alien going off with his girlfriend, while the commander is seemingly zapped into nothingness.

They have stopped the aliens, but there is still an invasion coming. One the adults stupidly think are a meteor shower.

Sparks calls the aliens and tells them to retreat. After a tearful goodbye, he goes home to be with his family. All the kids enjoy the rest of their vacation, having finally bonded and become a perfect unit.

Cheesy, yes. The very, very, end was hilarious though. 😀

Hope you enjoyed that lighthearted post. More posts to come. 10 days until Halloween!

Aliens-In-The-Attic-

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To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong In the World

For the previous post, go to Quite a Horror Story

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For more on aliens, go to When Potatoes Go Bad

For more on channel surfing, go to Secrets Are Great, Unless You Get Caught

For more on video games, go to Push All the Buttons!