I am like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality, when I look at the sewing machine and the instruments.
So those of you who follow me on instagram and facebook may have seen my embroidery, and might be wondering, isn’t that the same thing as sewing?
Sewing is about construction-in clothing or accessories. Typically you are joining two pieces of fabric together to make something or mending a hole or frayed edge.
Embroidery is about style-you are adding careful and intricate stitching to something, to elevate a pillowcase, dishcloth, blanket, or other home goods.
So embroidery is something I know how to do, my mom taught us young and I have embroidered pillows, dishcloths, pillowcases, blankets, baby shirts, etc. After all:
So last week my friend was getting married and she was planning on saving money by wearing her mother’s old dress.
I told her to try it on months before, just in case it didn’t fit, but she didn’t. On Thursday, two nights before the wedding, she tried the dress on and it didn’t fit.
They weren’t able to add more cloth to it, instead a new dress had to be made. Friday, the day before the wedding.
But my sister, she went to work and created a dress in a day.
What?
After the dress rehearsal, I went over to my parent’s house and saw my sister sewing on appliques to the dress. If she was to be doing it on her own, she was going to be up all night and we were supposed to be at the church at 9 on Saturday.
Ouch!
So my mom lent a hand and then they conscripted me into service.
Like I said sewing is not for me, and I kept messing up. I threaded the needle wrong and it kept falling out. And I was moving so slow…
We stayed up until two in the morning and my sister and mother did lots of appliques…but in the four hours I sewed….I did one.
Yes, this is whyI don’t sew. But I was pretty proud of my one applique.
So years ago I posted this on my blog and the other day the picture came up on my Facebook Memories/On This Day, and it jogged a memory of something that happened years ago.
Time to go back…
My final year in college I was on the History Journal. It was a two credit class and we put on our own history journal, choosing papers, editing, designing, and putting it all together.
Out of all those in the class, a fellow member, Steve, and I went to speak to the printer. We went and met with the man, but everything with him in regards to me seemed off.
Hmmm…something’s not right
You know that feeling, when someone pays too close attention to you, is too helpful, just too of everything. It’s nothing direct, but ladies, and some men I’m sure, you know what I’m talking about.
He kept offering me drinks, even after I said that I didn’t drink-assuring me that he had nice cold beer and other things.
For the thousandth time
We had to pause for a moment, while Steve took a phone call. His wife had an emergency and he had to go help her-leaving me there and without a ride.
That is not good,
I stepped aside and called my friend Elaine, who agreed to pick me up but she was doing something and wouldn’t be able to come for hours.
Steve hurried out as his wife needed him, and I finished up with the printer. Sitting and having that man stare at me…I don’t know to explain it. It was like this feeling came over me that I needed to leave now, I needed to just go. I needed to get away from this man-who once again tried to offer me beer or wine and was just too much all in my space.
And run fast NOW!
I handed the USB over, concluded the business, and left as soon as I could. The only problem was that now I was stuck in the next city over for a couple of hours, stranded until my friend could come get me. All I could think was I have no clue what to do.
Bit then I remembered, not too much of a walk away was a bookstore. I didn’t know the hours, but there was a restaurant nearby if it was closed that I could wait at.
Luckily the bookstore was open, and I was able to wait there reading until my friend came and got me. She ended up having to stay longer, as her appointment went over, so I had to be there much longer.
Thank goodness for the bookstore!
Later, Steve did text me and apologized that he had to leave. He was worried as he didn’t feel the man’s attentions were right and wanted to make sure I was okay. I completely understood- wife needed you takes precedence over everything else.
When we had to go back, I voiced my concerns, and how I would prefer someone else taking care of it. Our professor was upset about it as she felt I wasn’t being professional and when she asked if the guy had actually done anything, I had to admit no he hadn’t.
However, Steve thankfully backed me up and stressed that it wasn’t just “a feeling” but he had witnessed it too. She then said she would take care of it and I wouldn’t have to go back.
Yay!!!
All I can say is thank goodness for that bookstore. And in case you were wondering, I did buy something when I was there, I just couldn’t resist.
So as you all know I started a book club, because you know me and books…
Every month we read a book and I do a little post on the book we read and discussed. What can I say, I just love books.
There is no theme, other than with each month, a different member gets to pick a book, whichever one they want. This time the book club member chose:
The Mother Keeper by Paula Scott
So in my last book club book review I had chosen The Far Side of the Sea by Paula Scott and our book club actually got to meet her!
Afterwards, we all started following her on instagram, facebook, etc. One book club member spotted this on facebook and afterwards wanted to read it.
Paula Scott told us that she started writing this years ago and tucked it away, bringing it out later when her daughters wanted a romance as she wouldn’t let them read Twilight (thank goodness).
She tweaked it here and there and rewrote it-this being the finishing product.
Jenny McBride and her husband Kevin, live in Colorado, are celebrating New Year’s Eve and ecstatic for their pregnancy. They can’t wait or the baby, dreaming of all the things they would like to do.
Both are Christians and strong leaders in their church. That night Kevin had a drink, something Jenny does not approve of, and she insists on driving them home in the snow. A car comes careening their way, and crashes into them. Jenny loses her uterus, Kevin his leg, and both their baby.
Nooooooooooooooo
Jenny can’t believe this happened to her, her whole life she has been a good Christian and this is what happens to her? She is hurt, depressed, and angry.
Noooo!
Meanwhile, in the country areas of Tennessee, teenagers Ellie Ryan and her boyfriend are making plans for the future. Jamie is a big football star and will get a scholarship, while Ellie can get one with her amazing grades. However, there is one wrinkle-Ellie is pregnant.
That is not good,
She doesn’t tell her boyfriend, she just breaks up with him. She then heads to the pregnancy crisis center where her sister had gotten an abortion before she took off to California. Ellie hasn’t heard from her since.
At the center, Ellie meets Patsy Klein, a pastor’s wife, who invites her to come stay with her and take part in their church’s Mother Keeper program. The Mother Keeper program, is when a family takes in a pregnant teen and helps take care of her until she has the baby. Sometimes they adopt the baby, help arrange adoptions, or just help them until they can figure out their next step. They pay the food and medical bills through church funding/fundraising.
Ellie stays with Pastor Klein, Patsy, and their three boys-Shawn, Seth, and Stephen. For Ellie, this a dream come true as she is finally part a perfect family.
Shawn is upset when he hears that a pregnant girl from Sutterville-Sucksville-is going to be living with them. He has enough on his plate with football, a scholarship to Vanderbilt, his beautiful girlfriend Jill who desires him. But meeting Ellie and spending time with her-Shawn realizes that the life he has been living isn’t what he wants at all, but what does he want? Now, he doesn’t know.
Hmmm….I need to rethink my life’s choices
As Shawn and Ellie grow closer, Shawn wants to marry her and raise the baby together. But the assistant pastor contacts his sister Jenny, she having gone through a spiritual battle and grief, is ready to adopt-Ellie’s baby. What will Ellie decide?
Many more decisions will be made as secrets are brought out in the open: a secret affair, true parentage revealed, murder, rape, and a fight over who will adopt Ellie’s baby.
Wow!
This was a a fantastic story and a real page turner. Paula Scott doesn’t pull way from anything, but hits the truth hard.
What?
It’s funny because it certain characters reminded me of ones from Desperate Pastor Wives and The Masterpiece. That was completely unplanned by us. In DPW, Jennifer Shores too has lost a baby, and becomes angry with God; having to go through her journey, getting close to God, and figuring what is next in the future. In The Masterpiece, Grace Moore is kept by a family until she has her child, and goes through a similar battle over who will adopt her child, along with having family issues she has to work through.
It was a fantastic book, and I strongly recommend it.
There used to be this really fun game on facebook called Jane Austen Unbound. You had to search different rooms and areas to find certain objects, the more you did the more characters from the books come into play. It was great.
Well like all good things-it ended.
Now they have a different game, Jane Austen Manors
I thought, well might as well try it out and see how it goes.
So the first thing you can do is dress yourself. They give you a few things, you having to purchase the rest. You have the ability to go to town and purchase more. I bought a fan-it was the only thing I could afford.
Then we have the mini games
Needlework-
This mini game you have to fill in the squares with the corresponding colors until you complete the embroidery.
You have to spend your gold coins to get something called a “magic fill”. If you don’t you have to go and do each individual square-one by one. With magic fill, it fills all the squares with the same letter.
It takes forever. By the time you finish an area when you look at the rest of the square you have to do:
It was awful. Boring and it takes far too long. At least real needlepoint you are doing something fun and cool, making something.
The Circus-
This is a hidden pictures game. You have a chance of the different main characters’ manor houses. When you click on one they show you all the rooms and the objects, you job being to go room by room try and find them all.
This wasn’t too bad, but you had to click on the object at the bottom when you found it in a room. If you didn’t it would kick you out and you would have to go through it again.
Word Search-
I think this was the best of the games. You are given text from a novel and have to find the words that make it up.
When you find the word, it marks it red in the text. This wasn’t difficult in what you are doing,but did get a bit confusing after a while.
It wasn’t a bad game-but really boring.
I know there are a lot out there that like it-but I’m not one to be playing it again.
So I know I haven’t gotten to Star Trek in my fangirl posts, do you might not realize this about me:
And as this year marks the 50th anniversary of the Original Series, I decided that how last year was on Back to the Future, this year will be on Star Trek. And next year can be Star Wars as it marks the 40th anniversary of that film. But enough on that, let’s get to our year in review!
This is a time to reflect on what the past year held for us, the big posts, what’s new, and what you all seemed to like the most.
This post will only cover a few things, you really should check out the year for yourself. To start at the beginning go here.
The Views
This year I had 68,000 views!
Last year I had 31,000 and I thought that was a lot. Thank you buzzfeed, pinterest, facebook, twitter, and readers who practically doubled my views.
The most viewed day of the year was June 19th, in which I posted Drug of Choice.
The Number One Post
Strangely, my top posts had nothing to do with anything posted in 2015.
But you all like what you like!
So the number one post was from my Romance is in the Air Valentine’s countdown from 2013. That post was Fulfilling the List: A Walk to Remember, and I think I need to post on it once again.
So this community has really grown in numbers and I can not describe how pleased I am about that. We have gone from 14 followers in 2012 to 42 followers in 2013, 169 followers in 2014, and are now at 439. That’s amazing!
So enough about the statistics and numbers! Let’s move on to what was covered this year and what changes I have made to the blog
This year I continued my fandom posts, posting on Sundays. This year I wasn’t as faithful, as sometimes life would throw me a curveball, but I am getting closer to completing it. I just have to stop adding things.
So far this year I have covered: Amazing Phil/Phil Lester, Audrey Hepburn, The Baby-Sitters Club, The Beach Party Series,The Brady Bunch, Brotherly Love, The Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales, Captain Planet, The Cat Who Mystery Series, Cinemasins, Clint Eastwood, Daredevil, Death on Demand Mystery Series, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Dr. Seuss, Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, 8 Simple Rules, Elvis Presley, Eureka,Everyday Sunday, The Fast & the Furious franchise, Foreigner, Full House,Gargoyles,Grimm, Growing Pains, Guardians of the Galaxy, Hans Christian Anderson, Harry Potter, Hawk Nelson, Hell on Wheels, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, The Highlander, How I Met Your Mother, How It Should Have Ended, The Hunger Games, Indiana Jones, James Bond, Jimmy Stewart, Journey, The Kinsey Millhone Mysteries, Las Vegas, Leverage, The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, Lord of the Rings, Madeleine L’Engle, Make It or Break It, The Mentalist, Michael Crichton, Michael J. Fox, Midsomer Murders, Murder She Wrote, My Chemical Romance, Nancy Drew, The Nanny, NCIS, North & South, The Nostalgia Critic, The Office, Once Upon a Time, The Phantom of the Opera, Pokemon, The Princess Bride, Psych, Ray Bradbury, The Riyria Revelations, and Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
So I was trying to get a job with Buzzfeed and posted a few things as it was part of the application process. However no one was really interested in my lists so I decided to bring that style here. I only did one, Heaven on Earth, in which I listed the best fictional libraries; but I’m thinking of doing a few more in the future.
So last year I talked about reviewing Sense & Sensibility, along with all those based on the works or rewritings. I talked about the girls’ older brother John, and how he severely let these girls down in Promises Were Made to Be Broken. The joys and horrors of sisterhood and how the two act as a unit in Sisterly Roles. Edward Ferrars’ arrival into the house and being the one that brings peace to the house in The Eye of the Storm. On Elinor’s views of Edward, in To Edward or Not to Edward? How young girl’s views of the perfect man haven’t changed in 200 years, in Some Things Never Change.
With Disney’s new Cinderella live action film, I felt the need to call out to the cynics and naysayers, and prove that their smack was unfounded and Cinderella is actually a pretty awesome story.
Like I did with Sense & Sensibility (see #4), I decided that I would begin going through Emma, along with reviewing any adaptations or retellings of this story.
So I started off talking about the uniqueness of Emma Woodhouse among the other Jane Austen heroines, in One of a Kind. How loneliness severely affects the character of Emma and explains her actions, in All By Myself. How easy it is for people and Emma to take credit for something they actually have no control over, in Credit Where Credit is Due. On how Mr. Weston is a great man but no one ever talks about him, in Unsung Austen Men: Mr. Weston.
I also reviewed the book Mr. Knightley’s Diaryby Amanda Grange, a book that looks at the story of Emma from his point of view.
I didn’t do any posts on Pride & Prejudice the book as I was going through Sense & Sensibility and Emma. However I did review quite a few novels that are based on or retellings of Austen’s work.
There was Fall for You by Cecilia Gray, in which all your favorite Austen heroines attend The Jane Austen Academy boarding school in California together. This year the school was bought and has some major changes, allowing boys to attend! How would these girls get along in a modern world, follow this link to find out.
The Accidental Bride: A Romantic Comedy by Janice Harayda; is the story of a Jane Austen devotee set to be married soon, when she suddenly has second thoughts. With everyone pushing her in different directions, she relies on her love of Jane Austen to help her through. To read the review, follow this link.
Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart, by Beth Pattillo, is the tale of a non-Austenite; filling in for her sister and taking a class along with presenting a paper on Austen. She also gets caught up in spylike drama when she becomes the owner of secret Austen papers. To see what I thought of it, follow this link.
Pride & Prescience (Or A Truth Universally Acknowledged) by Carrie Bebris, is a mystery with supernatural elements. Caroline Bingley bags a wealthy American and marries him right away. But after the marriage she starts acting strangely. It is just nerves or something more nefarious at play? It’s up to Elizabeth to find out. Follow this link to read more.
I reviewed the book Fall for You by Cecilia Gray, and while I didn’t completely roast the book, I wasn’t the kindest. But Cecilia Gray took it in stride and retweeted my review, urging others to check it out. I’ve given a shout out before, and just want time to thank her again.
14) 30 Years Has a Nice Ring to It
My post She’s Still Preoccupied With 1985 is an ’80s lover’s dream. In it I detail every amazing ’80 thing that I love that turned 30 in 2015.
I did a post on some cool Monster Movie action figures I found, in Monster Mash. And I listed five of my favorite song to listen to on Halloween, in Haunted Harmonies of Halloween.
18) 25 Carols of Christmas
This year for Christmas, I did a Carol countdown. Everyday I posted on one of my favorite Christmas carols.
I wrote a post comparing all the Austen characters to Disney ones. It took months to complete but I think it was pretty awesome. You’ll have to tell me what you think. Check it out in Waiter, There’s Some Disney in My Jane Austen.
So what will this year hold? I don’t know. I guess you will have to join my expedition to find out.
So I didn’t do too many interesting things today, but here we go:
I woke up at five in the morning and let the cat outside.
After that I went back to sleep as I was tired and it was too early to get up.
3) I ate Apple Jacks for breakfast.
4) I finished reading The Disappearance of Edwin Drood, by Peter Rowland,a retelling of Charles Dickens’s novel The Mystery of Edwin Drood. The Mystery of Edwin Drood was Dicken’s last novel and declared unsolvable as it is unfinished. In this version, Sherlock Holmes is on the case in order to find out what happened to Edwin Drood.
5) I took a shower, did my makeup, and straightened my hair: while watching Bones.
6) After I was ready for the day I got a book ready for mailing, And then I wrote a letter to Kirk Douglas. I had previously printed a picture and was going to send it to be autographed. 🙂 Love him!
KIRK DOUGLAS — Pictured: Actor Kirk Douglas — Photo by: NBCU Photo Bank
7) Afterwards I went to the post office in which I had to wait in a super long line to mail my packages. They had a million people, but only two workers. Horrible!
8) After the post office I went to Staples to buy school supplies. The supplies aren’t for me, but for a backpack I was donating to children who are in need. Let me tell you, Staples advertises that they have cheap supplies, but they hide them so deeply in the store so that you have to sift through the more expensive things to find them.
9) From there I went to a thrift store to buy a cheap dress. I am doing a secret project that I cannot talk about as I am on strict orders. Sorry! But I needed something I didn’t care about to mess with.
10) After the thrift store I went to the Dollar Tree to pick up some more school supplies and some fake flowers.
11) After that I headed home to have dinner.
12) After dinner I went to work. We did an art project with the kids today, painting shirts.
13) After the kids finished that we worked on a mural together all on kindness and happiness.
14) I returned home in which I spent time on twitter and facebook
15) After hanging out on the internet I then attempted to make dinosaur marshmallow filled cookies. (Which were AWESOME!)
16) I watched An Amish Murder, a Lifetime movie, but it wasn’t that good. It didn’t focus on the mystery as much as Neve Campbell’s character having left the faith and her strained relations. It was nice seeing her still as tough as she was in Scream.
17) After cookies + film, I then moved on to WordPress, in order to finish this post for you all.
To start the 30 Day Challenge from the beginning, go to Musical Madness
Ever think of touring the world? Well what about touring worlds? As in plural?
See the galaxy, tour worlds. After all:
I mean we have some great fringe benefits:
Just kidding! So today is May 4th and we all know what that means:
Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars
I’m celebrating by pimping out my facebook page:
Wearing my Star Wars shirt, watching Star Wars, playing Star Wars Monopoly and making something out of my Star Wars Cookbook. It’s going to be a great day!
And no this isn’t about my addiction to reading as I have written on in the past. It’s about something more serious. Spots.
And not the decorative spots on fabric or freckles on skin. I have spot issues as that is my spot and I want you out of it.
Part of this I think comes from being the youngest child, as one feels the need to claim what they can as theirs.
The other part of it is that I think I am just a creature of habit and like going the same paths, to the same spots. It makes me feel comfortable.
The earliest I can remember is when I did martial arts. We were assigned certain spots, and when someone tried to get in mine, I would kick them out. That’s my spot.
This happened in college as well. I had certain chairs I would sit in for each class. I had my special nooks in the library, and if someone sat in my spot I would spend quite some time glaring at them for even considering being in my spot!
Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!
One time I was so offended that I had to work out my anger on the internet.
And let me tell you, those glares worked and that girl left. Leaving me all to my spot.
So the other day I was doing an interview and afterwards stopped at Del Taco for a drink as I was hot and incredibly thirsty. I wasn’t ready to head home, so I sat for a while in my car reading. I was parked near the door next to a Ducati motorcycle. I just love Ducati‘s, they are just so awesome!
Now I don’t know a lot about motorcycles, but I do know about Ducatis. I read this book series as a kid, and one the characters wanted one. I decided to read more about them, to see what’s so special and I was hooked. Beautiful machines.
So anyways, as I was sitting there this gorgeous, tall, dirty blonde in a leather jacket comes out of the Del Taco.
And I’m thinking, he may not be a Dean Winchester:
But he comes pretty smack close to being perfect.
Ah, so handsome with the best smile. How you may ask? Because I talked to him.
I had parked crooked so I asked him if he could get out alright. He told me he couldn’t that it would be impossible.
Oh no! I can’t believe I did that! I told him I would get out of the way, but he said it was fine. He was just kidding. And then he laid out that snile.
Shot me right through the heart.
After that we flirted a bit and I complimented his Ducati. He was surprised that I knew bikes and impressed. He started on his way, but shot one last smile at me.
After he left I was like why hadn’t I asked for his name! Ugh!
Stupid, stupid
I then had to text my friends and gush over him. Pretty much the same thing I am doing to you all. Their responses were hilarious.
Me: I just talked to the cutest guy. Tall, dirty blonde, black leather jacket, and a Ducati. Swoon! Too bad I didn’t get his name.
Friend 1: Or number, he probably would have given it to you.
Friend 2: What! How could you not? I’m disappointed in you.
Friend 3: Well now how are you going to facebook stalk him?
Oh well. At least I had the moment. And who knows, maybe in the future we’ll meet again. Probably not, but:
You forgot the first rule of remakes, Jill. Don’t f*** with the original!
If only Wes had followed his own advice.
I wish they hadn’t messed with the original. This movie sucked.
Just plain horrible. You see this all happened because everyone wanted to make another film after Scream 3. Wes told them he wouldn’t, unless the script was as good as the original film. Unfortunately, those dunderheads thought that meant they needed to do a horrible remake of the first amazing film.
For those of you just tuning in, this is the last of our Screamtastic Saturdays. Every Saturday this month I reviewed one of the Scream films. To read about them before you start this one, go to Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3.
Now as you can tell I didn’t enjoy this one. As I watched this film I took a lot of notes on my feelings, A LOT. I’m just going to write them verbatim.
So let’s get started on this travesty…
I don’t wanna
So the film starts out with two girls (Lucy Hale and Shenae Grimes) hanging out discussing horror films and stuff. One of them has a facebook stalker. It turns out to be ghostface who stabs and kills them both.
Ghostface attacks!
Victims 1&2
But wait…
It turns out that its not real. It is the opening scene from the film Stab 6 that two girls are watching. (Anna Paquin and Kristen Bell).
So that’s the first problem of this film. It was so dripped in big name actors that it was impossible to get into. I mean the original had famous actors too, but this was tooooo jam packed. It’s too much, far too much.
So Anna Paquin talks too much during the movie that Kristen Bell kills her.
I know Kristen Bell? Whatever.
Body #3
Just kidding
Yep, it’s just another fakeout. It’s Stab 7 that Julie from Friday Night Lights, I mean Jenny (Aimee Teagarden) and her friend Marnie are watching. After that Jenny goes upstairs to get something, and instead prank calls her friend. The “real” Ghostface comes in and kills Marnie, with Jenny right behind her.
Victim 4 & 5
And here we have another garage scene that is improbable. I’m telling you, any automatic garage door will not be able to kill someone. They design the mechanisms so that if there is something underneath them, it will cause them to be incapable of being squished.
Duh!
And the other problem with this scene is the fact that having two fakeouts was too many. After the two psych-outs, I was not attached to the characters as I was just expecting them to die. It wasn’t scary, mysterious, funny, or good. It was just bad. Bad, bad, bad. Plain ol’ lazy writing. Come on Wes, you’re better than this. This is reverting back not evolving.
So this film, and the first scene, take place 10 years after “The Woodsboro Massacre” or the amazing phenomenon known as Scream. Deputy Dewey is now Sheriff and married to Gale Weathers. Gale has stopped reporting and turned to writing fiction. Sidney has written a book on her experiences and is on tour. In fact, she has just arrived in Woodsboro. And Randy is dead.
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
Still not over that.
We then see the horrible Emma Roberts getting picked up for school. I hate Emma Roberts. She has no talent whatsoever. She always seems as if she is acting, so I never believe that she is whatever “character” she is playing. She’s like a block of wood. I think she is secretly a robot as she never gives any emotion. None whatsoever. She’s proof that just because one family member has talent, doesn’t mean the rest do.
I bet she is the killer. She’s all I hate Sidney. Blah, blah blah…
Anyways, Jill (Emma Roberts) is being picked up by her friends Kirby (Hayden Panettiere) and Olivia (Marielle Jaffe). Now who are these girls trying to fool? There is no way these girls are in high school they look sooo OLD.
I mean Roberts could pass for 19 at the youngest, but Panettiere and Jaffe? They are clearly are late 20s heading for their thirties. I’m looking it up now…let’s see…Roberts was 20 at the time, Panettiere was 22, and Jaffee was also 22. Okay so they weren’t as old as I thought they were, although they look it. I mean it’s laughable how they think they could pass off people so old as high school students.
Jill and Olivia receive texts from Jenny and Marnie, even though they aren’t close friends or anything…and the two girls are dead (although no one has discovers it yet. Speaking of which where were the parents during all of this? Why weren’t they with their kid? How come it took someone so long to discover the body? Come on now!)
Wes also has a love affair in this film with fake jumps. It’s like every five seconds. Seriously, just stop.
At the station Sheriff Dewey gets called on the scene and I notice something here Wes. Yes…yes…it appears that Dewey no longer suffers from a limp. I see, I see. Dewey gets to be limp free WHILE RANDY IS DEAD??!!
Never letting that one go. Moving on.
So Sheriff Dewey is called on the scene and he knows, he just knows
RIP Randy! Love you forever!!!!!!!
So as Sheriff Dewey is looking around, one of his deputies calls him Sheriff Riley. And I was like Whaaaaaaat????? Dewey has a last name?
Sorry. Back to the film.
So then we zoom to the high school were we have Hollywood’s version of high school students. You know horribly unrealistic and clichéd to the farthest ranges of the imagination. Because in Hollywood:
Yep, enter super nerd who has a computer hooked up to his headphones so he can blog every moment of his life.
Really Wes? Have you been to a school and seen real nerds? They don’t dress like that or do that? I mean when Ned’s Declassified did the Nerd has camera/computer hooked up to their glasses they did it to spoof. They weren’t trying to portray the nerd/online/blogger culture. You fail. Big time.
Duh!
So then we enter douche boy, Jill’s ex-boyfriend. I mean this is some serious deja vu as he ex is a total creep. I guess douche dating runs in the family.
So during homeroom, everyone’s cellphones buzz with the news. I’m just like, why wasn’t the school notified? When I was in high school we had two deaths. One was a car crash, the other an overdose and the teachers were all immediatey notified before the friends even found out. Same thing in college when a guy committed suicide, and another guy jumped off his balconey as he was high and had a bad trip. Although in college they sent emails and texts to the students, while in high school they told us.
At the bookstore, Sidney is reading an excerpt from her book when Sheriff Dewey comes marching in. He interrupts the signing as they are tracking the phone that placed the calls. They discover it in the back of Sidney’s rental, along with bloody handprints.
Back at the station, Sheriff Dewey s dealing with a lot. Gale comes down as her old investigative spirit is still alive. She encounters a huge prob though. Dewey’s deputy, Deputy Judy, has a mondo crush on Dewey. But Gale, she’s not having any of that.
I love that Gale is still kickin’ butt.
So Sheriff Dewey decides to put Sidney on 24-hour police protection, and all I can think is do you remember what happend last time? Yeah, it did not end well.
You know what almost everyone in this film has drunk the kool-aid. I know that Wes wanted to provide a wide range of “suspects” (totally obvious Jill and Culkin brother/crazy film nerd guy). But he makes everyone seem CRAZY!!! Jill’s ex, the deputy, and that’s not all. Let’s add Sidney’s publicist who delights in the murders because it will sell more books. She actually hopes more will occur. And then we have Sidney’s aunt Kate. “Nobody cares about the fact that it was MY sister that was killed or what I’VE been going through.
So at this point in the film I’m starting to wonder what happened to Patrick Dempsey? AKA Detective Mark Kincaid. I guess he was too busy being a doctor or maid of honor. Let’s see…Yes to doctor, no to maid of honor. He was trying to protect a bank teller and working with Decepticons. I wish they had given us a clue as why they didn’t stay together. I liked Mark.
Later that evening, Sidney goes to talk to Jill and you know what..how come we have never heard of this aunt and niece before? I mean they have lived in the town their whole life and not once was concerned with Sidney? Like why didn’t she stay with her aunt when he dad was out of town? This Wes, is why you do not try and remake a good thing. Just leave well enough alone.
So Sidney goes in to talk to Jill and sees her creep ex climbing in her window trying to talk to her. He’s extra creepy and weird calling himself “the ninja”. Who nicknames themselves? He is also a total control freak and won’t listen to “no”. What a jerk.
That night Kirby comes over and she and Jill are watching scary movies. Kirby gets a call from Ghostface that he’s hiding in the closet. She decides to be stupid and looks around, finding no one. Like this guy KILLED people. Maybe you should CALL THE POLICE!!!!
The voice says that he never stated which closet he was in.
Now the house next door is Olivia’s who is home alone (of course). The police offered to walk her to her home but she refused and like the stupid caricatures they are, they agreed. I just realized that policeman in the Scream films are pretty stupid. Dewey and Mark being the exception. I mean SHE RECIEVED A DEATH THREAT FROM GHOSTFACE EARLIER!!!! WHY IS NO ONE PROTECTING HER!!! So of course, Ghostface is in her closet and kills her.
Victim 6
And her friends just watch.
Seriously, they DO NOTHING BUT WATCH THEIR FRIEND GET SLICED APART. Scream! Call the police!!! Do something!!!!
Sid hears it and rushes over to help. Now Sid I love you, but couldn’t you have brought a weapon with you? How do you expect to save the girl if you have nothing. I mean come on, grab a bat, frying pan, knife, SOMETHING!!!
Sid does manage to take him down as she rules! But when the cops come he’s disappeared? Who is he Michael Myers? How does he move so fast? I mean they did the same thing in Scream 2.
Why weren’t the cops able to find him? WHY DOES EVERYONE SUCK??? THIS MOVIE IS HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE I TELL YOU!!! CRAVEN YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME AGAIN! IT’S LIKE NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET ALL FREAKIN’ OVER AGAIN!!!
Not happy, not happy at all
Gale seduces the two nerds to get them to help her. At first I thought it was funny, but the more I think about it, it’s creepy. I know on Cougar Townyou are always with younger men, but this is a 47 year old woman hitting on 17 year olds.
PR girl is the devil. I am sorry but the way she gushes about the killings, she needs help.
So after she leaves from visiting Sidney in the hospital (minor cut) she runs into Ghostface and is killed.
Victim #7
Now to be honest its her own fault as she really shouldn’t be walking around at night by herself with a killer on the loose. And what’s really stupid was that she was by her car. Just get in and drive away, run him over. Instead she tries to run. DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB. I mean come on, you were sitting inside the car! Why would you ever take off?
You know what I just realized. so far the killer has only murdered women. What’s up with that? In the other films it was always equal. How come you’re just killing women Wes? Huh? Why? You know what else? In every film we have couples who are murdered first. Scream– Steve and Casey, Scream 2– Boyfriend and Jada Pinket-Smith, & Scream 3– Cotton’s girlfriend and Cotton. But in this one its only been girls. There’s a formula!
But now, we only have females murdered. What happened Wes, did you have a woman break your heart so now you are releasing your anger on females?
And you know what’s really depressing about this film is that it lost everything. It isn’t a horror parody and a horror film at the same time; It’s just sad and boring. You can tell from the beginning who the killers are (Jill & Charlie [Culkin brother super nerd]). It’s just a recycled plot. A poorly recycled one too.
I mean each previous Scream brought something new and fresh.
Scream
Parody of the Horror film Genre while still being a great horror film
Twist ending with two killers, and one being the boyfriend.
Obsession with horror films and trying to create their own
Revenge because his mother left.
Scream 2
Parody of sequel films and horror sequels
Debates issue if whether horror films turn people into killers
Twist ending where you think it is the boyfriend murdering, but really ex’s mom
Female serial killer
Scream 3
Parody of trilogy films
Twist ending with mother’s secret early life + half brother
Single killer this time
All the survivors end in a couple-Dewey & Gale, Mark & Sid
Scre4m
Recycled plot
Pop culture of the day inserted but it feels more like an old man trying to be “hip” and failing than avant-garde.
They waited far too long to make this film. It should have come sooner.
So the next day Gale gets Sidney to come speak at the film club at the high school. In return for this, the two geek boys Charlie (the Culkin brother) and his friend blogger- headphones, Robbie, will help her out. Gale thinks the new Ghostface is copying the murders, but the nerd twins point out that it is a remake “as only remakes are being made these days.” Tru dat. In 2011 alone there was Silent House, Gnomeo & Juliet, The Green Hornet, The Roommate, The Mechanic, Just Go With It, Unknown, Jane Eyre, Winnie the Pooh, Arthur, X-Men: First Class, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Fright Night, Conan the Barbarian, Real Steel, Straw Dogs, The Thing, Footloose, The Muppets, and The Sitter.
The kids tell Gale & Sidney that if the killer wants to make it intense and new he is going to record the murders. That’s not new, it’s been happening for quite so time now. Just another ripoff.
They decide the next place he will strike is the annual Stab-a-thon. Now you have a killer running about and you refuse to stop your party? Definteky Charlie. He’s the killer. I mean come on, any smart person would be like nope, let’s stop this so people don’t die.
So a bunch of the kids dress up in Ghostface masks which is incredibly stupid. I mean you have a KILLER IN THE GHOSTFACE MASK? Why is everyone so STUPID.
Ugh
Gale goes there just like in the first film and hooks up some “secret cameras”. The cameras get covered up and Gale calls Dewey before she goes into take care of them. Now the smart thing would be to just wait as it is obvious that Ghostface is the one doing it, but whatever! I mean like even if you feel like you HAVE to go, why not be extra cautious and take a weapon! I mean, come on now people. She goes and is stabbed by the killer, however, she’s Gale so she just has to go to hospital. That’s cause Gale is awesome.
I just want this film to be over. It is that painful.
So I am liking nobody in this film. Like every character is crazy or stupid. The only exceptions are Gale, Sid, Dewey, and Aimee Teagarden’s character as she tried to run away. Even though I think Emma Roberts is the killer I want her to get stabbed so I won’t have to see her face again this film and hear her horrible acting voice.
Duh!
So back at the house Sidney sees something outside. She goes to take a look at it instead of CALLING THE POLICE! Come on Sid, you’re better than that.
So the cops outside Kate/Jill/Sid’s residence are all comedic and talking about movie cops. They say that cops are what you never want to be as they are always “getting it” in films. Uh, not true! What about Dirty Harry? Ain’t nobody taking down Clint Eastwood. Or what about Patrick Dempsey in Scream 3, I mean Wes you freakin’ made that film. Witness? Harrison Ford always dominates! Sidney Poitier In the Heat of the Night or They Call Me, Mr. Tibbs! Mark Wahlberg in The Departed? Die Hard?
Besides why would the black cop be worried that since he is a cop he’s going to killed? He’s got bigger worries, he’s a minority. He’s going to get killed for that. The only horror films I’ve ever seen where the minority doesn’t get killed first and makes it to the end would be Night of the Living Dead and Aliens vs. Predator.
They both get killed.
Victim #8 & 9
I was actually happy about that as they were annoying.
So someone in this film finally wises up, as Sid grabs a knife to protect her. Ghostface comes and attacks. Yawn! Knew it was going to happen. There is NOTHING original in this film, NOTHING!!!! Wes you have failed, fAILED FAILED FAILED!!!!!!!!!!!
So Kate also gets killed, she was stabbed through a door.
Is it over yet? Is the film done yet? Boo. There’s still 30 mins left! UGH, UGH, BLEH! I would stop watching like a did with An American Werewolf in London, but I promised full reviews of every Scream film and I can’t go back on that.
So Sidney escapes. She starts to head next door to protect Jill.
Next door we have Jill, Kirby, Robbie, & Charlie watching horror films.
So why don’t any of these kids feel remorse for the murdered people? I mean in Scream the main characters weren’t close to Steve and Casey (except Stu) so I could see where it didn’t make the biggest impact. But Sid started feeling when it was Tatum, Dewey, Gale, etc. In Scream 2, the girl in the film class was sad about her friend that was murdered in the movie theater and everyone is heartbroken over Randy.
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
Then in Scream 3 Cotton’s death, and while the characters didn’t know the movie stars, they were still sad to see them killed. I mean Olivia was their friend as she was MURDERED!!! And you know how they react? Jill in her monotone voice is fine and doesn’t say anything. Kirby goes to the Stab-a-thon in sa freakin’ ghostface mask. A GHOSTFACE MASK! I mean your friend was MURDERED, MUREDERED! And you are wearing the thing that killer wore to murder to your friend. Something is wrong with you all.
And you know what, that is the problem with this film. In the other versions you believed the actors were the characters. You believed them. In this film every character except for the 3 survivors are so fake. They have any real emotions. They don’t have any real reactions. They are like robots or something.
Why is everyone dumb in this movie? This movie is horrible and stupid! Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb! OMG! it’s LIKE HE WANTS TO MAKE A SUCKY VERSION OF AN AMAZING FILM! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? WHY? WHY? WHO GAVE HIM THE MONEY. You all should be held accountable for this!!!!
Is this too crazy?
This is film is a HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT! BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the group is hanging out. Trevor comes over as he says Jill invited him. She tells them that is impossible as her phone has been missing. Jill goes upstairs and Trevor follows her. While he is gone, Robbie gets drunk and heads outside for another blog post. When he does this we have the only real scare in the film. He runs into a plant. That’s it folks, so far the plant has been the most scariest and original thing in this travesty. And that’s not even that original.
Back inside, Kirby is trying to seduce Charlie in the most horrible and painful way. It hurt to watch this scene. It was awkward, it was stupid, and it would never happen that way in real life.
You know what I’m wondering now? Where are the parents? Come on now, is Jill the only one in town with a parent? They are completely absent! At least in Scream they explaned it. Casey’s parents were out having dinner. Mr. Prescott was going out of town. Mrs. Riley (Dewey & Tatum’s mom) is a single parent. Stu’s parents don’t care and are out of town all the time. Mr. Loomis works late hours and has recently become a single parent. I get that, although they should have done a better job. Scream 2, in college parents aren’t there., although I’m really surprised not one of them came down to check on their kids. Scream 3 all are adults. But these kids have no parents anywhere, nor do they give an explanation except for Olivia She mentions that her mom works late. Its like this whole film is in an alternate dimension where reality plays no part at all. I mean I know its a movie, but explain! Movie EXPLAIN!!!
So this film is far too predictable. You know Robbie who is hanging outside is going to be killed first, then Kirby, then Trevor, and then Charlie. It is soooo obvious.
This is horrible. Why am I watching this? Why?
So Robbie of course is killed, and too his shock as he thinks being gay will save him. I thought that was a weird thing to say. I mean, I can’t think of horror films where a gay person always survive. I mean technically he’s in the minority category and we all know that minorities hardly ever make it to the end of a horror film.
Victim #11
Before Kirby and Charlie could get it on, Trevor comes downstairs. He couldn’t find Jill upstairs. He and Charlie head to the kitchen, leaving Kirby alone in the living room. Jill comes from downstairs, now how the heck was she there? (I mean obvs to me she’s the killer, but why doesn’t anyone else think that weird?) Sidney runs into the house to warn everyone. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF YOU HAD CALLED THE POLICE FOR BACKUP. Kirby goes down to the basement, while Jill and Sidney go upstairs. Jill hides under the bed.
That is the worse place to hide. Beds and closets are always checked first.
Sidney comes down to the basement with Kirby and they see Charlie. He wants them to let him in, but Kirby is unsure whether or not she can trust him. Ghostface grabs him and ties him to a chair. Ghostface then calls Kirby.
The two are going to play a game. Kirby wins, Charlie is free.
The Voice: I hear you like horror movies, Kirby. But do you like them as much as him? Forget watching Stab, instead you get to live it.
Kirby Reed: No. No, no, no, no. He’s the expert. It’s not me.
The Voice: Warm up question: Jason’s weapon?
Kirby Reed: Uh,it’s a machete.
The Voice: There. You see? You do know the genre. Michael Myers?
Kirby Reed: Uh, butcher knife.
The Voice: Leatherface?
Kirby Reed: [crying] Chainsaw! Please!
The Voice: Just ask Sidney if you need some help. Freddy Krueger?
Kirby Reed: Razor-hands.
The Voice: Name the movie that started the slasher craze: Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Last House on the Left or Psycho?
Kirby Reed: Psycho.
The Voice: None of the above! Peeping Tom, 1960, directed by Michael Powell. First movie to ever put the audience in the killer’s POV.
Kirby Reed: Wait. No, no, no. Please, just ask me one more question. Just one more.
The Voice: Alright, Kirby, then it’s time for your last chance. Name the remake of the groundbreaking horror movie in which the vill…
Kirby Reed: Halloween, uh, Texas Chainsaw, Dawn of the Dead, The Hills Have Eyes, Amityville Horror, uh, Last House on the Left, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street, My Bloody Valentine, When A Stranger Calls, Prom Night, Black Christmas, House of Wax, The Fog, Piranha. It’s one of those, right? Right?
[silence]
Kirby Reed: I got it right. I was fucking right. [goes outside; unties Charlie] Don’t worry, Charlie. I f****** won. I won. He tried to beat me but I f****** won.
Charlie Walker:[holding knife] Kirby? This is is making a move! [stabs her] Four years of class together and you notice me now? You stupid b****! It’s too late! Shhh, I know. It doesn’t happen as fast as it does in the movies, I know.
[finishes stabbing her and drops her; runs away]
Yep Kirby is dead.
Victim #12
And Charlie was the killer. Totally obvious.
Duh!
So deputy Judy comes into play as she discovers Kate’s body and the dead cops. She heads over to Kirby’s house to check on everyone. I still want to punch her crazy-obsessed with Dewey face.
Does that make me a bad person?
So Sidney is being chased by Charlie and manages to escape him heading for the door. But Sid, don’t forget, except for Scream 3 there are always two killers. And as she heads for the door…boom Jill stabs her.
Now if Wes wanted to make this really unique. He should have down a group of female killers. It is rare, but does happen. Olivia, Kirby, and Jill. Or deputy Judy. She could be doing all these murders just so she could kill Gale and get Sheriff Dewey. Or he could have not tried making a remake. That would have been fantastic!.
So the two totally obvious killers start revealing the reasoning behind it. Jill was always jealous of her cousin’s fame. And as Emma Roberts…I mean Jill has no talent, she figures this is the quickest way to make her famous.
Jill Roberts: My friends? What world are you living in? I don’t need friends. I need fans. Don’t you get it? This has never been about killing you? It’s about becoming you. I mean, for f***’s sake, my own mother had to die, no great loss there, so I could stay true to the original. That’s sick, right? Well, sick is the new sane. You had your 15 minutes, now I want mine! I mean, what am I supposed to do? Go to college? Grad school? Work? Look around. We all live in public now, we’re all on the Internet. How do you think people become famous any more? You don’t have to achieve anything. You just gotta have f***** up-s*** happen to you. So you have to die, Sid. Those are the rules. New movie, new franchise. There’s only room for one lead, and let’s face it, your ingenue days, they’re over.
Charlie was her new boyfriend that was helping her do this. They plan to have Trevor take the fall for it, stabbing themselves, but shooting him to make it look like “self-defense”. Charlie is happy that the “geek will get the girl”, but Jill tells him sorry and kills him.
Victim #13
You know what I just realized. They never clean the knife. Ever. With all those kids having sex and the amount of diseases that abound, now all I can think is how they’ve been spreading so much to people. They’ve all probably got Chlamydia or something.
Also WHERE ARE THE POLICE!!!??? I mean deputy Judy was right next door!!!
So then Jill kills Trevor and Sidney.
Victim #14 &15
After that she starts taking care of the evidence. Planting the knife/gun. Beating /mutilating herself. Even ripping hair out and putting it in Trevor’s hand.
When the police finally come, they discover her and name her the sole survivor. They cart her off to the hospital. In the hospital Dewey visit Jill, who is all smiles. I have to say nobody is freaked out by the fact she doesn’t care that her best friends, mother, and cousin have all been brutally murdered???!!! Someone ship her off to the psycho ward. That girl is crazy!
Jill tells Dewey that maybe she and Gale can write about the murders as they have matching wounds. Dewey tells her that Sidney might be able to also help, as she is going to recover.
Yep, looks like we have Dial “M” for Murder all over again.
“Margot Mary Wendice: Do you really believe in the perfect murder?
Mark Halliday: Mmm, yes, absolutely. On paper, that is. And I think I could, uh, plan one better than most people; but I doubt if I could carry it out.
Tony Wendice: Oh? Why not?
Mark Halliday: Well, because in stories things usually turn out the way the author wants them to; and in real life they don’t… always.”
You can’t plan everything sweetheart.
So Jill gets out of her bed and charges down to ICU to get to Sidney.
That is impossible. There is no way she would be able to get across the hospital as they are jam packed with people. Especially ICU. Most ICU units actually are protected by some kind of card swipe or button so that only certain people can go in. There’s no way she’d be able to get to Sidney.
Dewey goes to see Gale, and as he mentions Jill’s comments they both realize that the information about her stabs were not released to the public. There is no way she could have known where Gale was stabbed, unless she had done it herself.
Dewey runs down to get to Sidney, and sees Jill trying to kill her. Sidney is doing a great job as she is Awesome! Sid you rule! Jill does have an upper hand as she tries to hurt Sidney in her stab wounds. Dewey is trying to help, but gets knocked out by a bedpan. Gale and Deputy Judy also come in, but Jill stole Dewey’s gun and threatens killing Dewey to get Deputy Judy’s gun. After the gun is passed, she shoots Deputy Judy in the chest.
Victim #15
Jill is threatening all and planning on killing them but this is very stupid. She already framed Trevor and gave a statement. How is she going to explain the other dead bodies? Who can she pin the murder of Sidney, Gale, Deputy Judy, and Sheriff Dewey on. Not going to work.
Jill plans in killing Gale next, as Sidney’s wounds have reopened and she seems to be the lesser threat. She is about to when Sidney shocks her with the defibrillator.
