I Can’t Pretend, I Have to Be: Casual Sex? (1988)

Most Romantic Moment #1

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So you are probably wondering what am I doing watching this movie, well it wasn’t really the one I wanted. You see I was at Big Lots and they were having a 20% everything sale. That sounded great to me, so I went and looked around. I found a DVD set for $4, of which three were Michael J. Fox films and the other two were ones I had never heard of.

AWESOME!!!

AWESOME!!!

Well you all know how I feel about Michael J. Fox

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I love him, so this seemed like a deal too good to pass up.

So my friend and I were watching some of the films, when we decide to check out this one, Casual Sex?, as we both like Lea Thompson.

I have to admit this movie surprised me a lot. It was rated “R” but didn’t really show anything, you know nothing like Game of Thrones, and actually dealt with the issues of sex. How you can get diseases, pregnant, sometimes the person just wants you for the sex, how sometimes you get involved with a person and they turn out to be nothing like you expect; and how hard it can be to meet anyone whether you desire sex or a relationship. It was pretty good.

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So the film is about two women, Stacey and Michelle, who have not had the best luck in love.

ouch Hermione

Stacey is constantly falling for artists, of which she not only changes herself for them but they always leave her in the lurch.

Melissa has only been with two men, and the second one, her ex-fiancé broke up with her as he was “going through a selfish phase.” Ugh, Men.

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The girls decide to leave the LA area and head on some kind of getaway in hopes to meet the perfect man.

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They decide to head to a health spa in which they meet a variety of possibilities. There is Vinny “the Vin Man” from New Jersey who hits on everybody and is always talking about his “attributes.”

Person hate talking

Jamie, one of the spa workers who seems sweet and caring:

You're so cute

Matthew, a psychologist, who is looking for material for his newest book on psycho-sexual tendencies of pre-menopausal females.

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And Nick, a fitness instructor who dreams of becoming a rock star.

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Will the girls find the man of their dreams? Or will they be disappointed once again?

NevermeetamanIcouldLove

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Most Romantic Moment: From Vin Man to Vincent

So the most romantic moment comes from the most unlikely source, Vincent otherwise known as Vinny or the Vin Man.

Vincent is from New Jersey, a pre Michael “The Situation”. He is gross, annoying, and just doesn’t understand that women are not interested in crudity.

Men

Men

However, as he keeps striking out with the women, one of the spa instructors gives him a book, The Pretend You’re Sensitive Handbook.

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He tries it out on Stacey, but as she has her own stuff going on she wants nothing to do with it.

Vinny: Stacy, how nice to see you. Do you have a few minutes? I mean, it occurred to me, I don’t even know where you work.

Stacy: Where I work?

Vinny: Yeah, you know, your career plans, your dreams, your aspirations… I really want to hear all about them.

Stacy: What I want? I don’t even know — ask me what anyone else wants. Give me three seconds, I’ll figure out your whole entire life.

Vinny: Would you maybe want to share something with me about your childhood, perhaps?

Stacy: Vinny, what the hell are you talking about? I’m in a big rush. Look, I have to go talk to Melissa, because if I don’t figure out something about my life soon, I’m going to crack!

Vinny: I respect your strength, Stacy, and I think you’ve got a lot of potential!

After striking out once again, Vinny runs to the spa instructor and tells him that he can’t do this. He can’t pretend, he has to be it. He decides to leave, catching a ride with Stacey to the bus stop. There we see a look at the real Vinny as he asks Stacey for advice. He wants to have a real relationship with a woman; like a friendship but more, but doesn’t know what to do. What do women want?

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She doesn’t have the answers and drops him off at the bus station. We think that is the last of him, but then we are given this surprise.

Stacy: [reading] ‘Dear Stacy, I hope you don’t mind me writing to you…

 Yes, Vinny writes Stacy a letter and tells her about how his life has been changing. He wants to be a different person, but no more pretending, he’s going all the way. He starts reading books,

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Cooking, changing his wardrobe to more appropriate clothing (and no more super “Vs” showing off the chest,

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Giving up all those aspects of the Vin Man and transforming himself, from the inside out, into a new person, Vincent.

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The sweetest, most romantic thing about this is that he made all these changes on his own, no “promise of getting the girl”, no other motivation than he wanted to be better and strove for it, turning himself from jerk to heartthrob. And once he feels his change is complete, he travels from Jersey to LA to see Stacy and prove that he is not only a new man, but ready for a real relationship.

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swoon dreamy

What a guy!

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For more Valentine’s posts, go to Now That I’ve Met You, I Can’t Imagine Life Without You: Sabrina (1954)

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For more ’80s films, go to We’re in the Future: Goodbye 2015

For more Jane Austen quotes, go to We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Tuesday the 17th: Psych (2009)

Tuesday the 17th

I knew we never should have come back here

So this episode of Psych is a parody of Friday the 13th, hence the Tuesday the 17th. I thought that since we don’t have a Friday the 13th or a Tuesday the 17th, so I thought it would be awesome to have this on Friday the 17th, so its a combination of both.

So for those of you who aren’t Psych fans, the series is about a guy, Shawn Spencer, who pretends to be a psychic and works with the Santa Barbara Police Department. His BFF, Burton “Gus” Guster, helps him out. He works with Head detective Carlton Lassiter and junior detective Juliet O’Hara.

*Spolier Alert*

So the episode starts off with Shawn and Gus in their preteens at summer camp. They are being picked up by Shawn’s dad, and Shawn is pissed. He is mad at for Gus choosing Jason as a partner over him for the piñata contest. (They picked the name Jason in reference to the boy and later killer, Jason Voorhees.) As we transition to the present we get a the theme song from Friday the 13th series and a creepy view of Shawn’s piñata, Rick Astley, stuck under the water.

Friday the 17th

20 years later a girl, Annie (named after the stupid Annie that is killed in the original Friday the 13th) is sitting down watching one of the Friday the 13th films.

Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you're chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?

Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you’re chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?

She decides to go off, when the phone rings like When a Stranger Calls.

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But its just her friends and she tells them she is feeling sick and going to stay home. All of a sudden she is attacked from behind!!!

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Back at the Psych building, Shawn and Gus find Shawn’s old summer camp piñata hanging outside their building. Jason did it as a joke as he came to ask the two to help them. Jason is reopening the summer camp this upcoming Friday, but one of his counselors, Annie, is missing. Shawn doesn’t want to return, but Gus convinces him to go back there.

There the two meet Billy (named after Billy in Scream), the jock and fitness counselor; Clive, the nerd and the water instructor; and Sissy, the damsel in distress in charge of arts and crafts. They start investigating, when Jason starts acting weird. He keeps speaking strange and walking around with a dummy.

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They start breaking up into twos and singles, which angers Shawn as everyone is breaking the horror film rules. Never split up!

Randy Scream

While they go off into the woods, Billy gets taken by the killer.

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They all meet up again, at 6:00 minus Billy. Sissy shows Gus and Shawn the laundry room; in which they discover Annie’s pjs, covered in blood.

Gilmore girls creep

Shawn gets freaked out and calls Juliet O’Hara from the SBPD to come down and check things out. She gets everyone to stay inside the cabin.  When Jason leaves, Shawn chases after him. As he is running and looking for him, he notices the laundry room going again. He goes inside and finds Annie’s strangled body. After that, a man in a potato bag (like that in Butterfinger the 13th) chases after him. Shawn screams and runs away.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only to be caught by the killer!

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But all is not what it seems. Shawn figures out that Jason is behind it all and that it is merely a camp created to scare people. The counselors are actors. People pay to come and get scared out of their minds. It’s like living a horror movie, except you know you will survive in the end.

So everyone goes back to the cabin and celebrates the “rehearsal” of the event.

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Everything is great until Shawn spots a dead body in the pond.

Victim #2

Victim #1

They all pull him out and discover that it is the creepy janitor. There is a huge storm that starts up, causing no to be able to leave. Or come to them.

dun-dun-duuuun

All have to wait until it blows over. They decide to play strip cribbage, as stupid as the strip monopoly they play in Friday the 13th.

Well I don't make out alive. Must have been too much strip monopoly.

Well I don’t make out alive. Must have been too much strip monopoly.

Billy ends up being the one who looses all his clothes. And you know what that means…..Yep let the bodies hit the floor.

After the janitor, Annie is killed and then Billy when he goes to check the breaker after the lights go out.

Shawn figures out that it is Clive and goes after Billy, finding his dead body. Juliet chases Annie down and discovers that she is dead too. They go looking for Clive and find him fighting with Gus. One gets knocked into the pool and Shawn jumps into the pool thinking it was Gus. It’s not, it’s Clive!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clive tries to attack Shawn, letting him know that the reason he is doing so is because his father died at this camp and he wanted to get revenge.

Pamela Voorhees: [high voice] Kill her, Mommy! Kill her! Don't let her get away, Mommy! Don't let her live!  [normal voice]  Pamela Voorhees: I won't, Jason. I won't!

Very similar to the orginal Friday the 13th film

Luckily Juliet manages to shoot him before he can harm Shawn.

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The episode ends with Shawn, Gus, and Juliet looking off into the distance. Thinking about the horror they’ve witnessed.

Tueadaythe17th

You know how the original Friday the 13th ended, with Jason coming out of the water? Well, they parodied that too, except with Rock Astley.

Tuesday17th

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even A Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to Part X: The Movie List that Would Not Die!

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For more on Psych, go to At the End of the Rainbow

For more Friday the 13th (1980), go to Camp Blood

For more on Shawn Spencer, go to Treat Her Right

For more parodies of horror films, go to What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?

For more on summer camp, go to Someone Very Special

For more of my fav songs, go to It’s Happening Again, Isn’t It?