Working My Way Back to You

Working My Way Back to You by The Spinners

This has always been one of my favorite songs. It is one that I love to listen to over and over again. Back in 2010, 2011, & 2013 I used to play it so much, I would annoy my roommates.

I think they were happy when I moved on to something else.

Finally!

So the song is about a guy who hurt his girlfriend-most likely cheating on her

And emotionally abusing her

Jerk

So she left:

After she’s gone, he realizes his love and is remorseful-works on himself and sets on winning her back.

Aw! How sweet!

We don’t know how it turns out. Does she forgive him? Or is she too hurt that it is done? It’s up to you to decide that.

It was written by Sandy Linzer and Denny Rendall and first recorded by Franki Valli & The Four Seasons in the 1960s. Now you all know I LOVE The Four Seasons.

They are amazing:

But I prefer The Spinners version.

Help me! I’m confused!

I know me, me, preferring a remake over the original.

So the lyrics are the same:

I’ll be working my way back to you, babe, with a burning love inside
Yeah, I’m working my way back to you, babe, and the happiness that died
I let it get away
(Been payin’ ev’ry day)
When you were so in love with me, I played around like I was free
Thought I could have my cake and eat it too, but how I cried over losin’ you
See me down and out, but I ain’t about to go living my life without you
For every day I made you cry
I’ll pay and girl, till the day that I die
I’ll keep working my way back to you, babe, with a burning love inside
Yeah, I’m working my way back to you, babe, and the happiness that died
I let it get away
(Been payin’ ev’ry day)
Oh, I used to love to make you cry
It made me feel like a man inside
If I’d been a man in reality, you’d be here, babe, lovin’ me
Now my nights are long and lonely, and I ain’t too strong, babe
I just miss you so
Girl, but you’re too proud, and you won’t give in
But when I think about all I could win
I’ll keep working my way back to you, babe, with a burning love inside
Yeah, I’m working my way back to you, babe, and the happiness that died
I let it get away
(Been payin’ ev’ry day)
My road is kind alone
I just gotta get back home
I’m really sorry for acting that way
I’m really sorry
Oh little girl I’m really sorry
For telling you lies for so long
Oh please forgive girl
Come on (give me a chance)
Won’t you forgive me, girl
Hey (let’s have romance)
Ooh, forgive me, girl (let’s try again)
Come on, forgive me, girl
I want you over and over
And over and over again
I’ll keep working my way back to you, babe
With a burning love inside
Yeah, I’m working my way back to you, babe
And the happiness that died
I let it get away
(Been paying every day)
I’ll keep working my way back to you, babe
But it is how it is sung/played. I don’t know, for some reason I believe the lead singer is heartbroken in The Spinners version. And I love the part when he sings the last part-it just feels so real and I like the part he kinda sings/cry of anguish.
What do you think?
For more of my favorite songs, go to Darcy’s ’80’s Power Song
For more on Franki Valli & The Four Seasons, go to The Strange Case of a Fangirl and Her Fandoms

The Austen Series: Reason and Romance

Reason and  Romance (The Austen Series #2) by Debra White Smith

So I have started reading this series out of order.

But it doesn’t really matter as they don’t have to be read in a the order they were published. The books are modern day versions of Jane Austen. I started with Amanda (The Austen Series #5), which set Emma in Australia and:

To read the whole review, follow this link.

So after that I wasn’t too jazzed to read this book, a modern day version of Sense and Sensibility.

But I decided to keep an open mind and hope for the best:

Well let’s find out, shall we?

So the story takes place in Ohio, as Elaina (Elinor) and Anna (Marianne) Woods (Dashwood) have just lost their father; the family business; and due to a prenuptial agreement, their home.

Elaina, the reasonable sister, has just received her Phd and will begin teaching literature at the university the next town over.

Anna, the romantic, has not gone to college and doesn’t have a job. She lives at home with their mother, dreaming of the perfect guy to come along and sweep her off her feet.

One of the students, Ted Ferrars (Edward) in Elaina’s class, causes the always reasonable Wood to become a romantic as she finds herself captivated by his personality and character.

Swoon!

He turns out to be the brother of her sister-in-law, and the complete opposite with his kind and caring nature. He is a superb pianist and dreams of leading a music ministry at a church, while his family has dreams of him becoming a superstar.

While that relationship develops, Anna also finds herself with not one, but two potential love interests. When she relocates with her mother to the home they are renting from, their cousins, she is first pursued by the older, broody, Dr. Brandon (Colonel Brandon). She isn’t too interested in him as he isn’t “a romantic hero”.

Everything changes when she heads off to her new job only to have an accident and be saved by the handsome model, Will Kenney (Mr. Willoughby).

That’s what I want

Elaina sister tries to caution her to slow down, but Anna is caught up in her emotions and will not listen to any advice, only intent on doing what her heart leads her to.

Will both girls be able to allow a little reason and romance in their lives? Or will Eliana cool reason and Anna’s hot romance keep them from forming real relationships?

So what did I think?

I thought it was horrible. A lot of things just did not work or make any sense why the author went in that direction.

So let’s count them off:

A) The Story Doesn’t Work Not Having Elaina Living at Home

So in Sense and Sensibility, Elinor lives at home in the cottage, runs the household, and is able to witness Marianne’s reactions with Willoughby and advise her. In this Elaina has her own apartment in another city and it just weakens the relationship with her sister and family. All information has to be relayed by her mother instead of Elaina being able to witness what she is speaking out against and has no real clue what is going on. It also weakens the character of Elaina/Elinor as she loses her role of caregiver, which is partially why people feel secure in sharing with her their secrets. The author should have had her stay living at home, I mean it would have been easy to explain that she was worried about her grieving mother.

B) She Makes the Mom a Pushover

In the original story of Sense and Sensibility, Mrs. Dashwood was in the throes of grief. She had lost her husband, income, home, most of her belongings, life, etc: all at the same time. When Fanny came along and started insisting this and that, she went along as she was sad, depressed, confused, numb, etc. In this she just gives in to everything because she “doesn’t like conflict”, which was not how it was in the book!!!

C) Hot for Teacher/Hot for Student

I don’t care how old they are I hate the teacher-student relationship. First of all it is against University policies as it could cause bias and because you are taking advantage of a relationship and power you have over the other. I don’t care that they “don’t really date”, as Elaine is intent on trying to form a relationship, something she should not have done or waited until he was no longer in her class.

 

D) Whatever Happened to Baby Margaret Dashwood?

So in the original novel there are three sisters, the youngest being Margaret.  Why do modern adaptations always get rid of siblings and make people only children or mess up their birth place? I mean there are whole psychologies that discuss how your place in the line of family helps form your character and personality, and I think a lot of modern adaptations mess this up when they cut out the siblings.

E) Ted Cheats on His Fiancé

So in Regency time: flirting, courting, etc. was much different. In the original novel, Edward starts to fall for Elinor, and she him, and his attention causes her to think and hope he is interested. However, he never actually does anything about his feelings or makes any overtures as he is secretly engaged. In fact, most of the being lead on is from what Mrs. Dashwood and Marianne think is happening. In this, Ted actually cheats on his fiancé, clearing stating to Eliana in his actions and words that he likes her, while being engaged. I didn’t like that at all.

F) Elinor/Elaina a major flirt

In this Smith has Elaina as a major flirt with any guy that crosses her path. This is not true to her character or “reason” minded self. It also makes everyone think that she is dating Colonel Brandon, while in the book everyone knew they weren’t together and only Edward thought she was interested in him.

G) Elaina’s Favorite Book is Sense & Sensibility

Reading the book your book is based on? That’s not clever but overdone.

H) Debra White Smith is obsessed with Pantsuits

I mean seriously that is all anyone in this series wears when they “dress” up. I mean it is a Christmas party?! Why aren’t they wearing dresses?! You seriously think that the fashion conscious Anna would wear a pantsuit over a dress? At her age? Reading the fashion magazines she reads? I don’t think so.

I) Colonel Brandon and the Anna Relationship: Together in Five Minutes

So in the original novel, Marianne is dumped by Willoughby: tries to contact him with no replies; humiliated by him; tries to visit him; is taken ill; has to fight for her life; goes into recovery; is visited by Colonel Brandon; and over the time the two spend together she falls in love with him and encourages him to try to start a relationship with her.

In this Anna is sick, healed, and in love with Colonel Brandon intent on marrying him and becoming a nurse in like five minutes. It made no sense at all and I didn’t like how Colonel Brandon tells her his feelings first instead of allowing Marianne that time to overcome her heartbreak, be open to a new relationship, and fall in love with him.

J) Why a Nurse?

I don’t care if you boyfriend/fiancé is a doctor that is no reason to become a nurse! Especially, if you are bad with everything needed to become one. They should have just had Marianne continue as an interior designer, artist. or fashion designer. .

K) She Cut Out Some of the Best Parts of the Novel

Even though Sense and Sensibility has a lot of sad themes: depression, loss, grief, homelessness, poverty, dysfunctional family, heartbreak, betrayal, etc,: it also has a ton of hilarious moments as well. Like when Edward goes to tell Elinor the truth about Lucy and Lucy is there. Or when Fanny discovers the woman she has been promoting over her “plotting” sister-in-law has in fact long plotted to marry her brother!

Hilarious, comedic moments that only Jane Austen knows how to do. And they are glossed over or barely touched it.

L) Christian Fiction but Hardly Any Christian Themes

So this book says that it is “Christian” and talks about having “faith in God”, but that faith and relationship with God is never really even in the book.I mean if you want to write a Christian retelling of Emma then write it. If you want to write a non-Christian retelling of Emma then write that. Just don’t give me this lukewarm mess that is “Christian” but only a smatter. I mean go big or not at all, there is no in between.

So yeah, I did not care for this at all or found it to be a good adaptation or a good read.

Will the rest of the series be just as bad?

Hmm…

Keep following me to find out.

For more by Debra White Smithgo to The Austen Series: Amanda

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to Read Jane Austen, Wear Jane Austen

For more Sense and Sensibility variations, go to Suspense & Sensibility (Or First Impressions Revisited)

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to The Darcy Monologues: Part II, Other Eras

I Know You Can Do This: Working Girl (1988)

Most Romantic Moment #6

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Working Girl (1988)

I had never seen this movie before, but I knew that Brittany Murphy’s character in Little Black Book was obsessed with it.

I had also heard it had all these awards and people loved it. So when my friend and I spotted it on Netflix she and I watched it.

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I thought it was okay, not spectacular but not horrible; and was surprised at the amount of awards it had won. But it did have a moment I thought was pretty romantic.

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Tess (Melanie Griffith) is a secretary who dreams of becoming more, but finds that her Staten Island backgrounds stalls her from any promotion.

I don't like it 11

She also has a boyfriend that will never move things forward and is cheating on her.

Jerk

After being sexually harassed by her bosses and ending her employment by getting revenge, she finds herself at the end of the line. Her last job for a female employer, and if she doesn’t make this stick she is out of New York.

I don't know what to do

Katherine Parker (Sigourney Weaver) is new to the company and takes Tess under her wing teaching her about proper presentation, the right way to speak, etc. Tess sees Katherine as her mentor and shares a great idea with her.

I-got-this-reaction-gif

Katherine breaks her leg while skiing and is going to be out of the office for months. She sends Tess to do a few errands, and Tess finds out that Katherine stole her idea and was planning to pass it off as her own. This betrayal coupled with finding out about her boyfriend’s cheating on her, causes her to become so furious she decides that she is going to take over the deal herself.

Don't mess with me!

Don’t mess with me!

She cuts her hair, borrows Katherine’s home, clothes, etc. She then approaches Jack Trainer (Harrison Ford) herself to get the deal rolling. The Harrison Ford scenes are the best: especially when he changes his shirt. 🙂

Aw!

Aw!

The two start getting really close when things become super complicated!

Not good

Not good

Katherine comes home early, it turn out that her sometimes boyfriend is Jack, Tess’ cover is starting to crack, and Katherine tries to steal back the credit for the idea.

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Most Romantic Moment: 

**Spoiler Warning**

So the most romantic moment for me comes at the very end of the film. Katherine tried to steal back the credit and Jack; with Tess coming in and proving the idea was hers, that she is intelligent, and pulling of this amazing deal for the company.

Yay!!!

Yay!!!

Tess is rehired for the company, (as Katherine fired when she tried to discredit her), and is extremely nervous for her first day back as she doesn’t know what to expect and is afraid of messing up again.

i'mscared

Jack prepares her lunch, hands it to her, and encourages her as she goes off.

workinggirllunch

How sweet is that?

Aw!

Aw!

Especially when you compare him to her previous boyfriend. He just leached off of her, never took her out, never encouraged her, and the only thing he ever gave her was lingerie (really a gift for himself).

What jerks

What jerks

Jack is the complete opposite as he supports her, comforts her, and calms her down; taking care of the tiny details so she could just focus on her duties.

Aw!

Aw!

Perfect Boyfriend

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To start Romance is in the Air: Part V from the beginning, go to I Did It for You: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

For the previous post, go to I Only Care That You Succeed: How I Met Your Mullet, Raising Hope (2014)

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For more Harrison Ford, go to You Don’t Have to Say the Words, I Already Know: Episode V, The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

For more ’80s films, go to I Will Face My Fears for You: Back to the Future (1985)

You Are a Horrible Cook, But I Will Eat What You Prepare Anyway: Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

Most Romantic Moment #4

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Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

So Bridget Jones’s Diary is a film I didn’t really like, click here to read why, but had a few romantic moments that I enjoyed, and here is one of them

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Bridget Jones works at a publishing company and has the hots for her boss, Daniel Cleaver, (Hugh Grant). She is unhappy with her weight, smoking, alcohol consumption, and singleness.

anthony-michael-hall-brian-insecure-quotes-the breakfast club see myself don't like what i see insecure body image

Her mother tries to throw her together with recently divorced barrister, Mark Darcy (Colin Firth), but Bridget thinks he is a snob and gets offended at something he says.

Those guys

That guy

After a really embarrassing night she goes off with Daniel Cleaver. The two begin dating and he tells her that he had his heart broken when Mark, his best friend, took off with his fiancé.

What jerks

What a jerk

Also to complicate Bridget’s life, her mother has split up from her father dating someone new.

what what'shappeningSupernatural

Bridget is excited to show off her boyfriend, but Daniel is called away; and it turns out he’s been cheating on her the whole time.

icecreamsaddepressedblnketbedbridget-jones-diary-mad-about-the-boy-05282013-lead01

Back to the ice-cream

Bridget leaves her job and takes another where she is mostly boobs and butt instead of a serious reporter.

Those guys

Those guys

As she is trying to change her life, Mark says he loves her out of the blue.

BridgetJonesDiarymrdarcyilikeyoujustthewayyouare

Will Bridget be able to navigate her life through the twists others toss her way?

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Most Romantic Moment: I Will Help You Cook and Eat What You Make

So Bridget has this bright idea to cook her birthday dinner, but unfortunately has no clue how to cook.

I don't know what to do

Mark stops by, out of the blue, and when he sees her uncertainty and lack of skill goes right into the kitchen to assist her.

bluefoodbridgetjonesdiary

With a voice like Bing Crosby's who could blame them?

A guy who cooks?

But the most romantic part of this, is not only does he get in the kitchen and assist in the cooking; showing he is not a snob, stiff, and destroying the image Bridget cooked up in her mind: but he actually eats the slop that Bridget eats.

What?!

What?!

That’s real love right there, because that food looked and probably tasted disgusting. But Mark didn’t let that get in the way. He loved her so much he overcame such obstacles.

Aw!

Aw!

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To start Romance is in the Air: Part V, go to I Did It for You: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

For the previous post, go to I Will Face My Fears for You: Back to the Future (1985)

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For more on Bridget Jones’ Diary, go to Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

For more Colin Firth, go to When I Get Into a Novel

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Is Mr. Darcy Out There?

For more based on Jane Austen, go to Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

bridgetjonesedge

So this film is supposed to be a modern day retelling of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice.

janeaustenghostdo'tmesswithwork

Strangely enough it stars two people who had been in films based on Jane Austen’s work. Hugh Grant plays Daniel Cleaver, our George Wickham, when he was in the 1995 Sense and Sensibility as Edward Ferras.

edwardsense-and-sensibility-helloeheygoodbyeseeyaoopswave-1

And then we have Colin Firth as Mark Darcy, having played Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice (1995).

mr darcy

Now I understand why Colin Firth decided to be in the film, I read online that he thought it would distance him from the 1995 miniseries, along with killing the wet shirt.

Deandon'tpbjectifymesupernatural

But oh Colin Firth, you were so wrong.

uh-no-gifuhno

That will never die

Darcy

So let’s look at the film:

gusPsychpopcorn

So prior to this viewing, I had seen the part where the mom has left the dad for another guy, the “vicars and tarts party”, and the very end in the snow.

Why?

Why?

From what I had seen I wasn’t really interested as I didn’t think it looked that good at all.

uh-no-gifuhno

However, lots of people love it. Everyone says they are funny and it was just given a third installment.

Truth be told I don't

Truth be told I don’t

 My friend is one of those who loves this film and she convinced me to watch it with her.

scooby-doowerewolfwatchingtv

I did and I really didn’t like it.

I don't like it 11

I just don’t get the love for this film!

spockstartrekidon'tknowokayiguesmovingongo

It mean doesn’t really follow Pride & Prejudice, the characters aren’t that likable, the situations silly ands not really making sense.

uh-no-gifuhno

I think this movie is horrible, and I’ll tell you why.

Let'sdothis

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Mark & Bridget Falling in Love

BridgetJonesDiarymrdarcyilikeyoujustthewayyouare

Mark (Mr. Darcy) and Bridget (Elizabeth) barely have any screen time together, so they don’t really have the opportunity to grow in a relationship. This is a problem with modern adaptations as in the original tale (and in history), when people visited they didn’t stay a few days, they stayed weeks or months. Darcy spent a long time with Bingley, encountering Elizabeth when she came to assist in her sister’s recuperating. And then again when Elizabeth stayed with Charlotte, but here they meet up at a family party her parents are throwing, a dinner party, accidentally while she is on vacation with Daniel (Wickham), and they fall for each other?

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

It doesn’t really work. They should have had them spend more time together. I mean he decides to forgo a new career in New York, throws himself at her feet, etc. We should see why he would.

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Bridget is an Empowering Character. Or is She?

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Bridget is constantly being sexually harassed but does nothing about it.

What?!

What?!

I know! Look at the little tagline there, it says

“For anyone who’s ever been set up, stood up, or felt up”

And it acts like it is going to be real empowering or something. And is it? No!

SayWhat

Bridget never stands up for herself or does anything about; choosing to just suffer through it. We have her creepy uncle who every time he sees her grabs her butt. Does she tell him off or her parents so they stop inviting him? No. Instead she just lets him continue.

I don't think so

And then when Daniel gropes her in the elevator and says inappropriate comments, does she do anything? No She just lets him do whatever.

Ryan-Gosling-Oh-No-You-Didnt-Half-Nelson

And then there is the way that her new job treats her, as breasts and a butt.

Big brain small boobs

What kind of message is that saying, especially since it is “based” on a character who is renowned for the beauty of her wit?

I don't like it 11

I mean I’m not asking her to go all out like this:

fliptablesangrysurprised

I’m just asking for her to stand up for herself.

No thank youhowaboutno

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Where Oh Where is the Witticism?

Where is the wit? Elizabeth was a great character who always put her two cents in.

PridePrejudiceDon'tTemptme

In this Bridget is made to be more of not a bimbo, but one who never thinks but just spouts off the first thing that pops in her head.

If only people followed this advice.

If only people followed this advice.

She is nothing like who she is based on at all.

the-austenite-prayerElinorDashwoodAnneElliotElizabethBennetDarcy

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Why Does Bridget Continue to Believe Daniel?

bridgetjonesdiaryimsorry

Why does Bridget go on believing Daniel after she finds out that he is a big fat liar?

Pinocchio liar

Daniel tells Bridget this story about how Mark Darcy slept with his fiancé, being the nail in the coffin of hate. But then we find out that Daniel is a a liar and was not only cheating on Bridget, but she is the other woman.

What jerks

What jerks

Yes, he was in a relationship the whole time and leading Bridget on with no intention of ever having it be more. Then when Bridget quits, we discover that Daniel had been keeping Bridget from moving ahead as he wanted to keep her to dabble in.

Pride&PrejudiceDarcypunch

Why does she think anything he said is the truth? When I found out my ex cheated in me I was really angry:

KickShin

But it also made me question everything he did and said. Why wasn’t it the same for her? I mean in the book Elizabeth doesn’t find out that Wickham is a liar until Darcy reveals what he did. And as soon as she sees him again, she lets him know that his drivel isn’t welcome here.

You-serious?-Not-happening-babe!

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Why Did They Have Her Parents Separate?

Over You

I really don’t understand why the film has the mother and father split up. It doesn’t really enhance the plot or create growth for the characters. I mean the only thing it “adds” is that with the mom out of the way the truth about Daniel’s lie isn’t given until the end. I don’t know why they did but I sure didn’t like that she comes home on Christmas and everything is okay, they are back together. There isn’t even an emotional payoff in that.

Those guys

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Why Would Darcy Read Bridget’s Diary?

letter

So Bridget leaves Mark downstairs while she changes out of her embarrassing underwear. She tells him to make himself comfortable and read some magazines and he reads her diary.

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Really? I do not see Mark ever doing something like that when he has other options. He’s just not that type of guy at all.

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And her running after him in the snow with no pants or coat. Yeah right, she would freeze before she met up with him.

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Bridget’s Friends are Atrocious

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

Bridget’s friends are awful.

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All they do is give horrible advice or make the situation worse.

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Where is level-headed and realistic Charlotte?

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Where is the kind, caring, always seeing the good Jane?

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We have Tom who makes the situation worse, bringing the fight into the restaurant and the wait staff out; Shazzer who just complains and places all kinds of doubts in Bridget’s mind; and the other friend who just cries all the time.

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No thank you.

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So I haven’t read the book, (maybe I will like that better), but as for this film, except for a few good moments, I see it as a dud.

Ew Yuck Gross

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For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

For more Pride & Prejudice adaptations, go to Austenland

For more Jane Austen films, go to Is Love at the Thanksgiving Parade Really Just Pride & Prejudice?

For more Jane Austen adaptations, go to Midnight in Austenland

For more Colin Firth, go to When I Get Into a Novel

For more Hugh Grant, go to The Eye of the Storm

Why I Still Love My Fair Godmother

Day 25) Y is for Young: Choose a junior or Young adult book

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My Fair Godmother (My Fair Godmother #1) by Janette Rallison

I first came upon Janette Rallison when I stumbled upon her book, All’s Fair in Love, War, and High School (Pullman High #2). I thought the story was hilarious, fun, the characters were fun; i.e. I just LOVED it!

Iloveit love

I then went on to stalk her work and reading anything published that I could get my hands on: Just One Wish; My Double Life; It’s a Mall World After All; My Unfair Godmother; How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-Boyfriend; Fame, Glory, and Other Things On My To-Do List; Revenge of the Cheerleaders; Playing the Field; and Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Free Throws. 

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But out of all of these, my favorite was and still is My Fair Godmother.

my-fair-godmother

Now you all know I like fairy tales,

FairyTales

I mean I have already reviewed I think four retellings. And this book is the ultimate: you get a combo of two fairy tales, magical creatures, princes, funny situations, and just all around a fantastic book.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

Yes, even though I’m heading into adulthood more than “young adult”; I still read this book like every three months. I just can’t get enough.

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Chrysanthemum “Chrissy” Everstar wants to attend Godmother University and go from “fair” to full. For extra credit she was sent to the Delano family in Herndon, Virginia the 21st century. There she is to figure out which Delano sister is in need of her services and assist them.

She starts with no-nonsense, older sister Jane. Jane is logical, intelligent, and doesn’t care about clothes, looks, or boys.

the mentalist NoNonsense

She is interested in one boy, Hunter, and he approaches her one day, but it turns out that he is dating her younger sister, Savannah.

What?!

What?!

Jane is upset but then begins to believe that Hunter does like her and rationalize that everything he does means he really loves her.

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But when that moment is shattered she begins an attack on him for hurting him. She gets a makeover, flirts, and does all she can to get other boy’s attentions.

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She succeeds in getting his attention and the two date, even though he hasn’t broken up with Savannah.

What jerks

What jerks

I mean seriously, you are her sister!!! You should know better.

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Anyways, after that heartbreak, Chrissy turned her attentions towards Savannah using her magic to give both sister a happily ever after full of handsome princes, beautiful gowns, and a renewed bond.

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Yes, in the words of my algerbra II math teacher: “You are not passing this class unless you show you work. Even of the answer is correct I need to see how you came to the answer or you will fail.”

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Professor Goldengill, admissions, is not taking that for the full answer. Before they let Chrissy in, they want the whole story, not part of it. They ask the leprechaun who was assigned to assist her, Clover T. Bloomsbottle, but he isn’t helpful in his information either. Only one thing left to do, call in the memory elves.

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They go in and get the real story.

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Savannah Delano

After Savannah Delano blew her money on the perfect prom dress and spent all that time bringing out Jane’s beauty; her boyfriend dumps her.

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And not just dump her, but dump her for her older sister!

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Understandably, Savannah is upset and doesn’t make the best decisions. She starts with the normal post-boyfriend phases. Eating sugar:

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Getting back and her sister by hiding her stuff

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And by buying a bikini (something her parents have forbidden her to wear) to wear to the big pool party. She hopes to capture the interest of someone else and maybe get Hunter back in the process.

I don't need you

To rub the salt in the wound, Hunter and Jane are trying to fix her up with Hunter’s friend Tristan.

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Tristan is nice, but having your ex who dumped you for your sister and then try to fix you up is just too painful and embarrassing.

So embarressed

At the pool party, Savannah removes her contacts for fear of losing them or ruining them with chlorine getting in her eyes. She goes swimming and has the most mortifying night; losing her top, going in the men’s room on accident, etc. After that she is done with life and everything.

Reality Sucks

Enter Chrissy, Savannah’s fair godmother, here to grant her three wishes. Chrissy a gum chewing, bubble headed, heel wearing godmother. Not your usual grade.

Not good

Not good

Savannah is given a contract to sign and told that until her wishes are fulfilled she will be cursed with having to tell the truth or else snakes and toads and such will come sliding out of her mouth.

ew! Gross Yuck

Savannah agrees and tries to figure out what to wish for, this popping out of her mouth:

“I just wish that somehow my life could be like a fairy tale. You know, with a handsome prince waiting for me at the ball, and that somehow when I meet him, everything will work out happily ever after.”

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Wish #1: Cinderella

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Savannah finds herself sent back to a medieval time and as Cinderella. There she has to serve two evil stepsisters and a stepmother.

Crap

Forced to do backbreaking labor for months that she has no skills or knowledge of doing before. Everyday she calls for Chrissy, but gets no answer.

Ugh great gatsby

Then Prince Edmond, Prince Hugh, and their sister stop by the house when passing through and in need of lodging for the night. There Savannah sees the handsome prince destined for her, is actually nothing but a big jerk.

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She continues to call and call with Chrissy finally answering. Chrissy has sent Savannah long before the ball to learn her lesson. Savannah, however, doesn’t want this and makes a new wish.

“I just…um…I want to feel beautiful and loved, and although I like the idea of having a prince, he has to be more than just handsome and rich. He has to be nice and kind…”

wandstar

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Wish #2: Snow White

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Savannah now finds herself as Snow White living with seven dwarves. Apparently Snow White isn’t the brightest bulb of the bunch as the dwarves treat her like an imbecile.

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And Savannah can’t do anything to show she is intelligent as she doesn’t know their names, doesn’t know how to make bread, doesn’t know how to make soup, and doesn’t know the people in the town.

I don't know what to do

After a truly embarrassing scene where she tries to outwit the tale of her poisoning to only confusing a harmless widow with the witch’s change of appearance:

EvilQueenSnowWhite

She then tries to convince the group she is from another time as Chrissy won’t return her calling her and she doesn’t know what else to do. They don’t believe her and plan to do some bloodletting to remove the crazy.

Run Away

Chrissy finally comes and Savannah makes her third wish.

“I don’t want to be in some medieval fairy tale. I want to live back home with my family. When I said I wanted a prince, I didn’t mean somebody from history or the pages of a storybook. I meant that I wanted that type of guy, but I wanted him from my own day and age. I want a boyfriend who is nice, kind-and handsome too, but that’s not the most important thing. As I’ve thought about Jane and Hunter during my time here, I realized that the problem was that he never liked me, he just liked what I looked like. He always wanted someone who was more like Jane and when they met, well, it was just bound to turn out that way. So I want someone who is loyal and has integrity-but most important I want a guy who likes my personality…And okay, I admit that in the past I haven’t applied myself in school like I should have, but I’m turning over a new leaf, so I want a guy who is smart too. And I want this guy to go to prom with me.”

wandstar

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Back Home

Savannah is thrilled to be home again, to her it has been months (one week there equals one hour in our time) but the family thinks she has just been in her room for hours; Chrissy’s magic not perfect as it should be as if no time has passed like in Narnia. And after being forced to eat medieval food, she pigs out and enjoys modern living.

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But then Savannah goes to school and hears Tristan is missing.

Not good

Not good

She starts to suspect what might have happened, with Chrissy confirming it. Chrissy has sent him back to the medieval time that Savannah was in. He has to become a prince or else he can’t come home again. Savannah tries to wish him out, but can’t as she has used up all her wishes already.

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She tries to get help from Clover, setting up a leprechaun trap, but he will only help is she promises to send him and his gold back to Ireland.

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Ugh! My life!

She agrees, and Clover points out that in the contract she can oversee her wishes. Therefore Chrissy can send her back to that time so she can aid Tristan. Savannah returns her prom dress and uses the money to buy a costume dress to wear, along with paying the postage to send Clover back. But before leaving she uses all her knowledge of the times to pack items that she can use to barter and will help them: aspirin, spices, costume jewelry of glass, silverware, etc.

Let'sdothis

She also makes Jane promise to mail the package for her as she has no time to waste.Eventually Chrissy answers her and Savannah finds herself back in time.

wandstar

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Wish #3: Turn Tristan into a Prince

When Tristan meets her he is less than happy, having spent about five months in medieval times due to her wish. Savannah explains she didn’t mean it, and she had just gotten cheated on and dumped for her older sister. This softens Tristan.

Aw, man.

Aw, man.

She shows Tristan the items she brought and he explains what must be done in order for him to become a prince. He needs to kill a cyclops, a dragon, and defeat a mysterious black knight.

ouch Hermione

The next day he goes to get fitted for armor, while Savannah runs into a wizard. There she trades some items to get a potion switching elixir. If she kisses anyone or is kissed (or licked by an enchanted animal) she will find herself trading enchantments with that person (or animal). This becomes increasingly hard as she finds herself falling for Tristan, but unable to share about her curse or show her feelings as she can’t get the enchantment to become a prince. She’ll never be able to go home!

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Savannah calls for the black knight, and ends up getting him to kiss her, swapping his invincibility for her only being able to tell the truth. She then tries to help Tristan fight the cyclops, making a mess and having to be rescued.

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Not in this case.

However things get even more complicated when Jane and Hunter arrive (having opened the box and striking a deal with Clover), the Princess wants to get rid of Savannah, both Princes appear to be fighting over her, and it turns out that she is still living out her Cinderella and Snow White wishes. This means not only does she have to go to the ball, where Edmond will fall for her, but Snow White’s stepmom is still trying to kill her.

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Will Savannah be able to save Tristan and get back home? Or will she be doomed to spend the rest of her days in Medieval Times?

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I love this book so much and think it is the penultimate for any fairy tale fan. I also just love Tristan, he is beyond the perfect guy.

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If only he were real:Dateficchar

So yes, go to your local library or bookstore and pick up your copy today!

SeizetheBook

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To start the 30 Day Challenge from the beginning, go to It Was a Pleasure to Burn: Fahrenheit 451

For the previous post, go to Xactly Why I Think Beastly is An Xcellent Story

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For more fairy tales, go to At Midnight, Your Coach Will Become a Pumpkin Again, and the Animals Will Regain Their Original Shape Until Your Next Ball: Ella Enchanted

For more on Cinderella, go to Waiter, There’s Some Disney in My Jane Austen

For more on Snow White, go to Snow White of A Day

For more sisterly rivalry, go to Fantastic Fantasies

For more Audrey Hepburn, go to The Dashwood Sisters Tell All: A Modern Day Novel of Jane Austen
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And once again:

Merry Christmas

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“And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:10-11 (KJV)

I Don’t Want to Be a Vampire. I’m a Day Person: Once Bitten (1985)

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I don’t want to be a vampire. I’m a day person.

My friend found this film months ago on Youtube and thought it was just hilarious. She knew I loved ’80s films and horror and sent the link to me. Unfortunately, the video had been taken down.

Reality Sucks

However, the other day a friend of hers found a copy of it, so we were able to watch it. Now this film is a horror-comedy, Com-Ror, but at the same time being a parody of those teen films from the ’50s, like I Was a Teenage Werewolf, etc.

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Originally the  screen writer wanted Michael J. Fox to star in the film, but the director, Samuel Goldwyn Jr. thought he wouldn’t be able to carry a theatrical film of this scale.

the irony iron

By the time this film came out, Fox had already starred in Teen Wolf and Back to the Future, both making far more money then this film and cementing Fox’s stardom.

But we aren’t here to talk about those films, we are going to talk about this one.

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The Countess (Lauren Hutton) is nearing her 400th birthday. In her mansion resides: one from early 18th century England, a french sailor, a confederate from the Civil War, her butler and chauffeur from the 1880s,  a WWI pilot, a 1960s flower child, and a set of twins. Every so many years she needs virgin blood to keep her young and beautiful. Three times and the one she has bitten will become a vampire too. That time has come again, but she and her minions are having trouble finding a virgin in 1985 Hollywood.

Countess: How many days left till Halloween, Sebastian?

Sebastian: Oh, a little more than a week, Countess. I told you not to worry.

Countess: Not to worry? How amusing. But then you’re not the one who needs to have the virgin blood of a young man not once, but three times before All Hallows Eve. Not to worry? Being a vampire in the 20th century is a nightmare!

She ponders on what to do, but Sebastian reassures her, they will find a virgin.

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So we are introduce to 18-year-old Mark Kendell (Jim Carrey) and his girlfriend Robin, who live near Hollywood, CA. Mark really wants to have sex, but Robin isn’t ready to do it yet. She wants to wait. Mark is feeling extremely frustrated as he feels as if he is only one who is a virgin.

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I mean come on dude, your best buds haven’t had sex yet and neither has your girlfriend. That’s four right there and there are probably a lot more.

Anyways, so Mark goes to see his friends at the burger joint they work, and these two dudes are quite the crew. One believes he is God’s gift to women and continuously uses the stupidest line to try and pick up women, thinking it will work.

Russ: Hi. I’m Russ, and I’m a Sagittarius. I enjoy surfing, candlelit dinners, and Tolstoy. Listen: I’m a mature person and you’re a mature person, so why don’t we just skip all the bullshit, get rid of our inhibitions, and DO what we really wanna DO?

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The other, Jamie, is Eeyore in human form; always pessimistic and believing the sky is falling.

Reality Sucks

So he goes to his friends and complains about the relationship, Russ telling him that Robin is never going to do it and he should just move on.

What a jerk

What a jerk

Russ then suggests they go find some women to loose their virginity to. They decide to head out to Hollywood and see if they can find some. When I think of Jim Carrey in Hollywood, one film comes to mind…

But I digress, so the group heads to a club called Phone a Date. You pick a table, phone one of the other tables by the numbers assigned to them, and ask to come on over. It actually is kind of a cute idea.

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As long as the person on the other end isn’t a serial killer or creep.

So boys try it out: with Russ first getting a transvestite, then getting rejected, and finally someone calling Mark over. By this time the boys are extremely hammered, having consumed 4 beers each. When Mark walks over, the woman is the Countess.

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She gives him champagne and starts coming on to him, but Mark isn’t really interested in going home with her. He pretty much is out of it, actually. Meanwhile, his friends have two older ladies who are interested in them. They start talking and having fun, when one of the ladies’ husband comes, yells at the boys, and then starts shooting the club up.

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Mark freaks out, and the Countess convinces him to come with her, taking him up to her mansion. Meanwhile, the guy is arrested and the friends are taken off too.

Back at the house, the Countess gives Mark even more champagne. She goes upstairs to get ready, and comes back prepared to feast!

After he is bitten, Mark passes out. The next day he is awakened by Sebastian and the Countess. Mark leaves and promises that he will call and the two can meet up again sometime, but has no real plans to see her anymore. He has a girlfriend, and he is happy to finally lost his virginity.

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But he feels really weird. He starts eating raw meat, even though he’s only loved well-done food. He also can’t remember a thing that’s happened.

His friends ask him what happened and he tells them in the crowded quad, right where his girlfriend is.

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She of course become angry with him for cheating on her and breaks up with him.

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Robin Pierce: Oh Mark, I can’t believe you’re going to throw away our relationship on a one-night stand with a chauffeur and a butler and a slut who eats buttons! But you did. You really did! [takes ring off her fingerYou can have your d*** ring back!

Mark Kendall: What am I supposed to do with it?

Robin Pierce: Use your imagination!

 Mark’s weird behavior continues as he wants to sleep in trunks, looks pale, wears sunglasses all the time, and just acts vampireish.

Dracula

He starts having these strange dreams where the Countess is in, but he doesn’t want her. He doesn’t call her like he said he would but tries to get back with Robin.

pretty please beg

Robin accepts his apology and everything is all right again.

Majorly

That night Mark and his friends head downtown. Russ and Jamie try again to pick up on women, but it doesn’t turn out well. Russ hits on a dominatrix and Jamie…well I don’t know what he said but it sure wasn’t good.

Mark goes to Robin’s work and picks out some clothes to try on, black of course.

Black is best

Black is best

While he is in the dressing room, who should appear but the Countess. Mark tries to get rid of her as he isn’t interested, but she won’t take no for an answer. She bites him again. This film actually reminds me of Fatal Attraction, as the morals of both stories: Don’t cheat in a relationship and don’t try to have a one night stand.

So Mark passes out and Robin takes him home. The next day he is acting even stranger. He looks more like a Vampire, can barely tolerate light, wears only black, drinks blood, etc. Then when he tries to sell some ice-cream, he…

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Mark becomes extremely worried, and goes to the nearby Catholic Church to ask for help. Unfortunately, a drunkard steps into the confessional and tell him he’s screwed.

Reality Sucks

Mark is continuously haunted by the Countess and starts to really become frightened with the idea that he might become a vampire.

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I really liked the dream sequence as it was reminiscent of Dracula (1931).

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Soon it will be Halloween but as it falls on a weekend, they are having a pre-Halloween party.

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Mark and Robin were supposed to go as Jack and Jill, but Mark couldn’t get the costume so he dressed like he normally does. But everyone thinks he is a vampire.

Dracula

While Robin and Mark are dancing, the Countess comes in and tries to control Mark into going with her. But Robin doesn’t like people messing with her man.

that girl is going after my man she is going to wish she was never born

And this resorts in one of the best scenes, a dance-off.

Afterwards, Mark has a bit of a freakout and takes off, Robin chasing after him. She tries to calm him down. His reflection disappears and Mark tells Robin everything. Robin is weirded out, but when she doesn’t see his reflections, she starts to believe it. So she heads out to do some research.

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She finds out that in order to know if he has been bitten by a female vampire, all you need to do is check the inner thigh for a bite mark. So of course she asks Mark and finds out that yes, he has been bit.

Majorly

Majorly

Instead she asks his friends to find out for her, to look at him. They don’t want to but she guilt trips them into doing it, telling them that if they are really his friends they would look.

Why not ask?

Why not ask?

So they ask Mark.

Majorly

Majorly

Instead they try to look at him in the shower, resulting…well I guess I didn’t have to say it, you know it won’t turn out well.

Mark Kendall: What was that scene in the shower all about?

Russ: That’s the thanks I get for trying to help out a friend?

Mark Kendall: Oh you’re a big help, thanks a lot. Did it ever occur to you guys that maybe you could’ve asked me?

Jamie: Oh my God!

The way Jamie says that reminds me of Arnold in Troll 2.

So they see Robin in the parking lot when she is abducted by the Countess and her gang. You see tonight is Halloween and the Countess needs the third bite or she will revert to showing her true age. Mark is worried about something happening to Robin so he heads over there, aided by Jamie and Russ.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

When they get there they find Robin tied up and let her out, but the whole thing…

The vampires capture them and take them upstairs, where they get ready to get the last bite and turn Mark into a vampire. Mark doesn’t want to:

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The Countess starts trying to control him, but Robin isn’t going to lose her man. She jumps in the middle with a cross, the friends grabbing fire, and they free him.

Count Dracula: Van Helsing. [Van Helsing turns to face Count Dracula] Count Dracula: Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country. Van Helsing: I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy. Count Dracula: You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived. Van Helsing: Should you escape us, Dracula. We know how to save Miss Mina's soul if not her life. Count Dracula: If she dies by day. But I shall see that she dies by night. Van Helsing: And I will have Carfax Abbey torn down, stone by stone, excavated a mile around. I will find your earth-box and drive that stake through your heart. Count Dracula: Come here. [Dracula raises his hand to hypnotise Van Helsing] Count Dracula: Come here...Your will is strong, Van Helsing. [Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him] Count Dracula: More wolfbane? Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count. Count Dracula: Indeed. [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

[Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him]
Count Dracula: More wolfbane?
Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count.
Count Dracula: Indeed. [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

Then the chase is on!

In the end there is only one thing left to do to save Mark.

All, besides the vampires, are happy. Mark scored, Jamie scored, Russ scored, Robin scored.

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I really enjoyed this film and I thought it was pretty hilarious, although having Hocus Pocus level anti-virginity theme. But a  lot of fun to watch and sure to be a fun film to watch this season.

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous, go to I Came Upon a Shattered Glass Jar and Four Baby Turtles Crawling into a Strange Glowing Ooze: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

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For more ’80s films, go to No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

For more Jim Carrey, go to I Can Be Your Best Friend Or Your Worst Enemy: The Cable Guy (1996)

For more vampires, go to Every Time I Bring a Girl Over, You Try to Eat Her!: Vampires Suck (2010)

For more teen horror films, go to I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

For more Horror-Comedies, go to A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

For more Horror Parodies, go to Monster Movie: Supernatural (2008)

When You Least Expect It

 OhNOthisisgonnabebad

Everyone has someone they would rather not see.

Something is not right!

And why does it always seem that when you aren’t thinking about them and totally don’t want to see them they walk back into your life?

really?

really?

That happened to me the other day. I ran into my ex-boyfriend.

Men

So I was headed to the movie theater to see the original Ghostbusters (1984) as it was being rereleased in theaters.

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I was so excited that I even wore my ghostbusters costume.

Taking fandom to the EXTREME!

Taking fandom to the EXTREME!

But then things went wrong. My theater app wasn’t working right so I had to print out my confirmation, but then of course the printer wouldn’t work.

nightmare before christmas nothing turn out like it should

Then I ended up getting stuck behind the theater security guy twice!

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I then got stuck behind an old man complaining about the computer ticket window.

Just one thing after another

Just one thing after another

I finally reached the line and who should be in front of me? Michael.

Men

Out of all the times in the past two years for me to run into him at the theater dressed in a Ghostbuster costume.

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Sometimes I think my life could be a sitcom.

Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you're chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?

Now the last time I saw him was like two years ago and I was over him and the fact he cheated on me.

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But because I don’t care doesn’t mean I want to see him. It’s like when you pass an area where a skunk has been, there is a bad stink that permeates the air and takes forever to get away from.

It was awful!

I had to wait behind him in line, but thankfully he was with his best friend. If he had been with the girl he cheated on me with (and later married) I don’t know if I could stop old hurts/my temper flaring up. I may have moved on, but in every path there are bumps in the road.

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Anyways, I didn’t want to ruin the night, or taint it any further, so I just tried to ignore him.

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Although I have to admit for a moment I felt pretty silly that after all this time I was dressed up in a costume.

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But then that moment passed as I remembered how awesome I looked and how I totally rocked my costume.

awesome

And of course I saw that he noticed me and his reaction made me really upset. You see after he dumped me I went to talk to him and see if we could work it out. He acted cold and angry.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

And angry after when I ran into him at the play.

what?

what?

And angry at the theater when he saw me.

Whattheheck

I’m like, excuse me?

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What on earth do you have to be angry about? I’m the one that was cheated on! I’m the one that was dumped. I was the best girlfriend and you were the one who messed it up. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ANGRY! I’M THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO BE!

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It made me angry with him all over again.

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What a horrible-

wordICan't say Toy Story

It really made me want to go up to him and just teach him a lesson.

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But then after that moment of anger subsided, I remembered that if we hadn’t broken up I might have gone on longer dating a guy who didn’t appreciate me.

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And I’m much happier as I am now then I ever was with him.

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For more on my ex, go to You Put the Ex in Extinct

For more on Ghostbusters, go to Back to the ’80s

For more Oscar Wilde, go to Over and Over Again

For more stories from my everyday life, go to My Favorite Martian

 

It’s Mrs. Archer. She’s on a Rampage!: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

It’s Mrs. Archer. She’s on a rampage. We’ve got to warn the town.”

Before Fatal Attraction came out in the ’80s, this was the film that taught you cheating on your wife was a bad idea. A really bad idea. Now this B horror film, really is a B film in my opinion. It’s worth a watch at least once in your lifetime, not something I’d want see again and again. In fact the 50 foot woman, Nancy Archer, doesn’t have much to say or any real character development besides revenge on her husband, but that is one of the reasons why you like it. Like I said, a good watch but probably not one that is marathon worthy.

So the film starts of with rich, socialite, Nancy Fowler Archer. Nancy is depressed and distraught. Her husband Harry is a no good, cheating, loser. But she loves him, so she took him back.

Laura what I want No good

She gets wasted and becomes depressed, deciding to search for Harry. As she is driving through the desert she overhears a radio broadcast about aliens. Just then a huge object drops down on the highway and causes her car to swerve. She gets out of the car, when a huge hand comes at her.

attack of he 50 ft woman

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She escapes from the hand, running away.

Meanwhile, in Tony’s Bar & Grill, is her jerk of a husband with the gold digging…

ThewomenBadnameBitch

Honey Parker. Ugh.

hate her

Harry had left his wife, but instead of working when he was strapped for cash, he went crawling back to be taken care of. Nancy Archer is worth over $50 million, but with divorce Harry won’t be able to get a thing. Honey tells him that he’d be able to get it all IF his wife dies.

escalatedquickly

Harry is a bit perturbed by that suggestion, and decides to try to recommit Nancy.

Nancy has arrived in town, and is intercepted by Deputy Charlie. She is freaking out over the alien encounter, but everyone thinks she’s crazy. The Sheriff tries to clear the crowd, and protect Nancy from onlookers as she is a prominent figure in the community.

Get out

Nancy tries to tell everyone all that happened, but no one will listen.

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Deputy Charlie goes searching for Harry and finds him making out with Honey in a booth. Harry pays him to “not be found”. Charlie goes back to the deputy and they go looking for “the giant”.

Pretty much they think she is crazy and are just humoring her.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

Of course, they find nothing. Nancy is furious and heads home. There she runs into Jess, the butler, and Harry. She sends Jess away and gets started on another drink. She and Harry start fighting about his cheating and her drinking.

Hate YOu

They fight and fight. But ultimately, Nancy can’t get rid of him. She’s crazy about him, no matter how bad he makes her feel.

attack50ftwoman depressed sad

Nancy Archer: My husband!… My gigolo! That’s what you are. You’re a miserable parasite! You’re just after my money! I was rid of you once. Why did I take you back? Why? Why?

Harry Archer: Why did you, Nancy?

Nancy Archer: Why?… because I love you, Harry!

Poor Nancy. She is stuck in this horrible marriage because she can’t let go.

Laura what I want No good

She tells Harry about the spaceship, but surprise, surprise; he thinks she’s crazy too. He puts her to bed giving her a sedative to knock her out. He then steals her diamond pendant, Star of India, and head’s over to see Honey.

When he gets to the bar he finds Honey with deputy Charlie. She’s angry about having to wait around while he’s with his wife.

addams family love and jewelry

He gives her the diamond to mollify her.

Emmafakesmile

Dr. Isaac Cushing makes a house call on Nancy, and confirms she is not well at all. When the doctor leaves, Harry and Nancy resume their fight. Harry gives her back the diamond and leaves her alone. And them to make matters worst, the radio makes fun of her “encounter”.

KRKR-TV Commentator: Ladies and gentlemen, this is KRKR-TV. And now, more news of high fliers. Nancy Archer, the former Nancy Fowler, heiress to the Fowler fortune and the fabulous Star of India diamond, has joined the ever expanding international society of satellite seers. From the Archer’s palatial home away from home comes word that Mrs. Archer claims not only to be seeing a sociable satellite, but its inhabitant as well, a 30-foot giant. Is he pink with big ears and tusks? It seems that Mrs. Archer, who has been feuding with her husband, Handsome Harry, has finally found a man from out of this world, someone who will love her for herself. Come, come, Mrs. Archer. Any man can ignore a million dollars, but fifty million? That’s too much to ask for, even from the man in the moon.

She destroys her radio with an empty bottle. This brings Jess and Harry into the room. Nancy orders Harry to come with her to search the desert. They drive for hours and find nothing. That night, however, Nancy sees a flash of light and follows it. They spot the ship, with Nancy going up to it, estatic that she isn’t crazy. As she is looking at it, the Giant alien comes out again and reaches toward her.

attack of he 50 ft woman

Harry fires at the giant with his gun, but it does nothing. Nancy screams for help from Harry, but he takes off in the car leaving her behind.

When he gets to the house, Jess asks him where Nancy is. He ignores him and continues packing things. The two start fighting, when Harry knocks him back with an empty bottle. He takes off to the hotel, where Honey is waiting.

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He pushes Honey to hurry up and get stuff together. While he ran to Honey, Jess called the sheriff with his suspicions about Nancy and Harry. When Honey and Harry are about to leave, they are stopped by Charlie. Charlie is offered a bribe again, but refuses, taking them down to the station.

While the two are stuck at the office, the sheriff and a posse start searching for Nancy. Eventually she is found at the pool house. Everyone is taken to the house, where Dr. Cushing attends Nancy. He is concerned about blue-green scratches on her neck, that they might have radiation. He asks Harry where they were, but he tells her that he doesn’t know where she was as he was with Honey the whole time. Honey confirms this, but the sheriff warns them not to leave town. He finds the whole thing very suspicious.

suspicious Hmm

As Harry takes Honey home, Honey tells him that she overheard the doctor say that an overdose would kill her. She pushes him, and Harry is planning on it.

perfect plan

Can we just pause and say that Honey is a regular psychopath. She’s got the touch of the crazy in her.

That night he waits until the nurse is asleep, and fills a syringe. As he goes to inject her, the nurse wakes up and catches him. But before they can address that, she screams for the doctor as something has happned to Nancy.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She is ginormous!!!!!!

What's going on?

What’s going on?

The next day, doctors come but no one can figure out what caused this growth!

At the hotel Honey is messing with records. She is not happy that Nancy is still alive, but there is nothing that he can do with all the doctors swarming.

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Back at the house, the police are searching for the reason why Nancy grew. They find a gigantic footprint. They find several more and follow it to the desert, concluding that the giant must have brought her back to the house. They find the spaceship and fight with the alien. He leaves in his ship, after having destroyed the car and causing the Sheriff and Jess to walk home.

At home Nancy wakes up, and is very unhappy that Harry is not there. Deputy Charlie tries to get Harry to come home, but he refuses. They try to keep Nancy doped up, but she breaks free, makes an outfit out of her bedsheets, and takes off searching for Harry.

broken-heart-breakYouPatrick

She knows he’s with Honey and takes off after them.

Nancy Archer: I know where my husband is! He’s with that woman!

The doctors and sheriff follow her trek and mass destruction. Just like every other giant being, Nancy takes out buildings, the electrical transmission tower, etc. She keeps yelling Harry! and looking for him.

attack of the 50foot_Woman_13_event

She eventually finds the two in the hotel.

attack of the 50ft woman

Harry tries to shoot Nancy, but it doesn’t stop her. Nancy knocks the roof off the building and kills Honey. She picks up Harry, crushing him in her grasp. The sheriff finally kills Nancy, by using a transformer which electrocutes the two. In an ending that is reminiscent of King Kong (1933), they crowd gathers around and end the film with, “

Dr. Isaac Cushing: She finally got Harry all to herself.

attack of the 50 Foot woman

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And of course as always, the facebook cover page/mini poster

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to I Am the Chosen One. And I Choose to Be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

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For more on aliens, go to Only a Woman: Queen of Outer Space (1958)

For more B Horror films, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts That Lie Hidden Within: I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957)

You’re My Hero: Why Did I Get Married? (2007)

Romantic Moment #9

Why did I get Married

Why Did I Get Married? (2007)

Why Did I Get Married? is a film directed by and starring Tyler Perry. Just like Diary of a Mad Black Woman, this film is based on his play of the same name.

This film is about four couples, all friends from college, who are going on their annual retreat to not only work on their marriage but catch up on what’s been going on in each other’s lives.

  • The first couple is the over-worked, lawyer Dianne (Sharon Leal) and her husband Dr. Terry (Tyler Perry). The two have been arguing because Dianne didn’t want to time off from work to go on the retreat. In fact she doesn’t want to take off ANY time for anything. He hardly ever sees her or spends time with her. She is hardly involved with their daughter as well as she is always working. Terry wants more kids, but not only is Dianne hardly ever around, but when she is, she is too tired to have sex with him
  • Then we have Angela (Tasha Smith) and Marcus (Michael Jai White). Marcus used to be a famous football player and has two kids with another woman. He married Angela and helped finance her first beauty salon of which he now works at. She has gone to make tons of money, including created her own line of hair products. These two are constantly arguing.
  • Then we have perfect Patricia (Janet Jackson) and her husband Gavin (Malik Yoba). Patricia is a professor and author of the hit book Why Did I Get Married? Everything seems great about them, except the two are a bit stilted.
  • Lastly we have the overweight Sheila (Jill Scott) and her rude, arrogant, jerk of a husband Mike (Richard T. Jones). They are taking a flight to the retreat, taking along their friend Trina (Denise Boutte). Yes, bringing a single girl to a couples retreat? Like that’s not odd. Anyways, Sheila doesn’t fit in her seat, and Trina tries to give hers up, but Mike kicks her off the plane and tells her to drive there.

While there Dianne falls asleep alone, ignoring Terry. Her assistant calls and Terry tells her to leave them alone for the week as Dianne is on vacation. Angela and Marcus are fighting again and he asks Terry for help with something. That night Mike is seen, by Angela, sneaking into Trina’s room. Sheila was heading to Colorado but the night was was too dark and snowy, so she pulls off on the side of the road. There Troy (Lamman Rucker), the sheriff, spots her and brings her to the station to spend the night.

The next day Sheila arrives at the retreat and brings Troy to get with Trina, upsetting Mike. They invite Troy to dinner and that’s when all hell breaks loose.

  • It turns out that Dianne had her tubes tied as she doesn’t want anymore kids. She never told Terry as he wants more. She has been avoiding having sex as she doesn’t want to tell him about it.
  • Dianne also found out that Terry had a DNA test done on his daughter as he wasn’t sure she was really his. Dianne is always busy, so he was wondering if she really got pregnant by someone else.
  • Marcus has been cheating on Angela with his ex-girlfriend, and thought he got a STD from her.
  • Angela cheated on Marcus, with Walter, got an STD, and gave it to Marcus.
  • Gavin blames Patricia for the death of their son.
  • Patricia still blames herself for the death of their son.
  • Mike is cheating on Sheila with Trina.

Everyone tries to fix their mistakes, but Mike wants a divorce. Sheila becomes upset with Mike and whaps him on the head.

After that they all go their separate ways. Sheila stays in town with sheriff Troy, as he gets her a job at the general store. All the remaining couples go through a lot of changes and discussions to find out why did they get married? And do they want to stay married?

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***Most Romantic Moment***

So after the whole finding out your husband was cheating on you with your best friend, along with all the abuses he laid on you throughout the years- Sheila was having a really bad time. Troy is really there for her, providing her with a job and a place to stay while she goes through a divorce and has to figure out what to do with her life now. In fact, the two begin an amazing friendship and at one point Troy wants it to move to dating, but Sheila says no. She is scared since he made everything so much better in her life, that she is falling in love with him for his help only. Troy agrees, and the two decide to take it slow, a little at a time.

Why did I get married

Isn’t that amazing! He is so perfect and just perfect for her! He doesn’t care about her past and he sees all the good in her, past the insecurities and her inhibitions.

WaytoLove

She gets strong, moves along, and finds the perfect man of her dreams.

Why did I get married

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To start Romance is in the Air: Part III from the beginning, go to I Can See Your Beauty: The Breakfast Club (1985)

For the previous post, go to Love Makes You Do Crazy Things: Hercules (1997)

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For more on Why Did I Get Married, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Line List

For more Tyler Perry, go to What Have We Done to Each Other?: Gone Girl (2014)

For more of my favorite quotes, go to You Look Beautiful Just the Way You Are: How to Marry a Millionaire (1953)

For more films based on a play, go to The Perfect Murder: Dial “M” for Murder (1954)