Take a Chill Pill John Knightly

Emma (2009)

After having read the novel Emma by Jane Austen, and having seen every film of it that I could get my hands on, I have concluded that Emma and I have a lot of similarities. We are not exactly alike but there are many things that are similar:

  1. John hates Emma
  • Dave hates Me

In the novel Emma’s older sister, Isabella is married to John, Mr. Knightly’s younger brother (I know some people think that is weird but Jane wrote it not me.) Anyways John cannot stand Emma, and Emma cannot stand him.  John is so annoying, he is always having freakout sessions and is such a wet blanket. He has a short temper and always going on and on about things, a real Debbie Downer. John also has such “strong” opinions. Meaning that he won’t listen to what anyone else thinks but has to constantly go on what he feels is right.

Anyways how this relates is that this guy my sister dated, Dave, hated me. And the feeling was mutual. I tried to like and be nice to him, but it was so hard because he is such a controlling guy and not very responsive. I would try to talk to him and get to know him, but he just cut me off or would ignore me.

At first I thought I was imagining he disliked me. I’ll admit I had a few Lizzy Bennet like jealous feelings, I missed hanging out with my sister as she had all her time filled up with being with Dave. I also felt that he was always talking down to me; treating me as a child. (Even though I was older than him.) He tended to act like a know-it-all and so much more superior to me but, I tried to see it his way and thought maybe he was nervous that he was so young and trying to compensate for it by acting older.

Usually I try to avoid Dave so that we do not have any such confrontations. However, I couldn’t get out of it last Saturday, and like John, Dave was a real wet blanket. In every conversation, he had to interrupt me and debase any opinion I had. I made my exit as quick as possible as I couldn’t stay much longer without slicing off his head.

Is this too crazy?

Anyways I was telling my mother what I was feeling about Dave. She thought I might be imagining it. But just like how Emma is reaffirmed by John’s action’s I found out from my sister that, Davedid indeed dislike me (to the extreme). So “no doubting [it I].. have powers of penertration.” (Loosely quoted from Emma).

So for now all I have to say is John take a chill pill and share it with Dave.

*Currently the two are no longer together which is great for me and her. Dave was a loser and she deserves better.

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To read more about Emma go to For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic

For more on guys I avoid, go to The Return of the Verne

For more on Emma (2009), go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more on the French Revolution, go to Viva La Révolution

For more Jane Austen heroines, go to Obviously You Never Met George Knightly

 

No Force on Earth or Heaven Could Get Me on That Island: Jurassic Park III (2001)

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Are you saying you wouldn’t want to get on Isla Sorna and study them if you had the chance? No force on earth or heaven could get me on that island.

So Jurassic Park III is not nearly as good as Jurassic Park, but much better than The Lost World because of one thing.

Love this guy!

Love this guy!

Yep, Jurassic Park III sees the return of Dr. Grant, Sam Neil. 😀 It was supposed to have Jeff Goldblum too, but he injured himself and dropped out.

A lot of people don’t really like this film either.

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However, I really like it. I like all the Jurassic Park films. 😀

This version isn’t based on any books of Michael Crichton, but was a newly created plot with a few pieces from the orginal scripts. They took the aviary scene in her from the orginal Jurassic Park novel.  But more about that later.

So the film starts off with two people parasailing around Site B of Jurassic Park, where The Lost World took place. They go into a fog, and the next scene are gone!

dun-dun-duuuun

Dr. Grant has become famous for his discoveries, but more people want to know about the Jurassic Park incidents than what he has found.

Dr. Grant: [Dr. Grant is giving a lecture] Now, are there any questions?

[everyone in the audience raises their hand] Dr. Grant: Questions not related to Jurassic Park

[many people lower their hand] Dr. Grant: Or the incident in San Diego, which I did not witness.

[everyone else lowers their hand]

Dr. Grant goes to visit Ellie who is married with a baby. (Now this is something I hate, in the book Ellie & Dr. Grant weren’t dating she was already engaged, so I hated in the films how they were dating in the first film but then weren’t together in the last one.) Dr. Grant and his assistant Billy are working together to create a larynx of a Velociraptor.  The two are appraoached by a couple, the Kirbys, who like to go on wild adventure trips and want to have an air tour of Jurrassic Park. They got a special permit and will only be up in the air. Dr. Grant is adamant, no way, but then the Kirby’s place an extremely large check in his face that changes his mind.

While on the plane, Dr. Grant discovers that the two are lying. They have actually been planning the whole time to stop on the island. Dr. Grant tries to get them to stop, when he gets knocked out.

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So Dr. Grant is on the island. Although its not the same one, as he was on Site A originally. They try and  leave, but are stopped by a Spinosaurus, something that was’t on InGen’s list.  As they try to escape, a T-Rex appears and they manage to escape right before the Spinosaurus snaps the T–Rexs neck.

As they are moving through the island, and being followed by the Kirbys & Co., they discover parasail remains.

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This when the whole story comes out. It turns out that the Kirbys are divorced. The wife is remarried and her husband and the Kirby’s son went parasailing and disappeared. The father, played by William H. Macy, went to the traveling agency and hires a guy. The guy who is a “mercenary” and “knows guys” doesn’t really know or do anything he said he could.  And the check is completely fake too. They are looking for their son Eric and needed a guide, so they tricked Dr. Grant. Unfortunately, Dr. Grant was never on Site B, so he’s like I don’t know what is out here.

The group is trying to make its way through the island without dying, and they end up in the actual area where the dinos were constructed.  The one they showed them in Jurassic Park was all for show, but isn’t the real area. When they are there they get attacked by Raptors.

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What’s interesting about this portrayl of the raptors is that the designers wanted to incorporate the archeological findings. Scientists have discovered that Raptors were covered in feathers made out of keratin. They couldn’t go completely over the top, so they just put the feathers on the head.

The group gets seperated and Dr. Grant finds himself all alone. He is saved by a young boy, Eric Kirby. Eric Kirby, against all odds, has managed to survive 8 weeks on the island. He’s been living off candy, uses dino pee to scare things off, etc. Eric used to be a big fan of Dr. Grant too.

Erik: Be careful with that. T-Rex. It scares some of the smaller ones away but attracts one really big one with the fin.

Dr. Grant: This is T-Rex pee?

[Eric nods yes]

Dr. Grant: How’d you get it?

Erik: You don’t wanna know.

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Erik: I read both of your books. I liked the first one more. Before you were on the island. You liked dinosaurs back then.

Dr. Grant: Back then they hadn’t tried to eat me yet.

Dr. Grant: Did you read Malcolm’s book?

[Erik nods]

Dr. Grant: So?

Erik: I don’t know. It was kinda preachy. And too much Chaos. Everything Chaos. It just seemed like the guy was high on himself.

Dr. Grant: That’s two things we have in common.

The two go out looking for the rest of the group when Eric hears his father’s satellite phone.

I love the Spinosaurus there, he reminds me of my dog Katy, when she gets all riled up and you have her chew toy, she makes that face, posed to attack.

The group manages to escape and head to the compound, hoping to find some radio equipment to call for help. After they catch their breath, Billy asks for his bag back, and Dr. Grant tells him he is fine carrying it. Billy keeps insisting and insisting that Grant hand over the bag. This makes Dr. Grant very suspicious and he looks inside, discovering that there are raptor eggs in there. Along the way, Billy found some and took them, hoping that when they got off the island he could sell them. That’s why they have been chased by raptors.

Dr. Grant is furiuous with Billy. And who can blame him. I mean that it has to be tempting to steal those eggs, but come on Billy these aren’t chickens.

Billy Brennan: You have to believe me, this was a stupid decision but I did it with the best intentions. Dr. Grant: With the best intentions? Some of the worst things imaginable have been done with the best intentions. You know what, Billy? As far as I'm concerned, you're no better than the people that built this place.

Billy Brennan: You have to believe me, this was a stupid decision but I did it with the best intentions.
Dr. Grant: With the best intentions? Some of the worst things imaginable have been done with the best intentions. You know what, Billy? As far as I’m concerned, you’re no better than the people that built this place.

They then make their way into a large outdoor cage that hold pteradactyls and other pteranodons. This one of the freakiest scenes in the whole movie. It is super creepy with the fog and the birds. When my sis, niece, and I went to the San Diego Safari Park they have the birdhouse/plant area, it looked JUST like the aviary in Jurassic Park III. I kept saying that if I go in, there are going to be  pteradactyls in there that are going to try to kill me. It freaked my niece out soooooooooooooooo bad!!! She started crying and said she wasn’t going to go in. We had to say so many things to convonce her that she would be okay.

Anyways so they get in the aviary they think is abandoned, but it turns out there is something hiding in there.

The group is reeling from Billy’s death, and make their way down the river on a boat. They float by the Spinosaurus’ poop and find the satillette phone. The Spinoisaurus comes upon them and they begin to fight to  get away.

Dr. Grant manages to get out “Site B River” on the satillete phone to Ellie before he loses it to the river. They manage to get away again. The Kirbys are now all reunited and happy and want to be together.

They are almost free when they are come upon by the raptors. They sense that the Mrs. Kirby, Amanda, is a female and go straight for her. Dr. Grant saves the day when he uses Billy’s larynx creation. He blows in it just right so that it sounds like other Raptors are calling for help.

After they manage to get out of there they take off to the coast where the Coast Guard, Marines, and Navy are waiting for them. They even manage to find Billy.

Billy Brennan: I rescued your hat. Dr. Grant: Well... that's the important thing.

Billy Brennan: I rescued your hat.
Dr. Grant: Well… that’s the important thing.

They all  make it home okay.

So a couple of years ago they were talking about making a Jurassic Park 4 film, which my friend Margarita and I were super excited about it. But then they canceled when Michael Crichton unexpectedly died.

However, now that it is back on and supposed to be out in theaters in 2015, I am so jazzed! In a few years I can include it in the Horrorfests. 😀

Well that concludes our Jurassic Park Week. 😀

Here’s a cover page/poster I made for my Halloween countdown on Facebook.

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When the Itsy-Bitsy Spider is No Longer Itsy-Bitsy: Arachnophobia (1990)

When the itsy-bitsy spider is no longer itsy-bitsy 

I used to watch this movie all the time as a kid; I remember there being only a few scenes freaking me out. My older sister is arachnophobic, and she would always FREAK-OUT when she watched it. Like a mega, huge, freakout. But I did not remember it being too terrifying.

I rewatched the film and this movie is truly terrortastic!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was so freaky the way the had the spiders; because they actually described how they really act. Just like in Jaws and Them! when they add in all the scientific facts, you learn how freaky things can be.

The film is about a doctor moving his family from San Francisco to a small town to be in a safer area. He’s supposed to be taking over the previous country doctor’s practice, but the doctor doesn’t want to give it up.

No thank you

That’s not the only problem he’s facing; his house has rotted wood, no one trusts him in the town, he only has one patient, and the barn on his property has spiders.

What else could go wrong?

What else could go wrong?

Dr. Ross Jennings hates spiders. He has arachnophobia.

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The other doctor is spreading lies about him. And then his only patient winds up dead. Pretty soon other people who were perfectly healthy wind up dead.

Sound suspicious

Sound suspicious

A young photographer who died in South America and body was shipped back to his hometown, is realized to be the  source of the problem. He carried a spider that is now breeding and sending his young out to attack other. He is the general and has a large supply of troops.

When the spiders attack, it is really, really, creepy. They just come out of everywhere.

What does the evil general look like? Where is his lair? Can they destroy him?

If you want to be scared you should definitely watch this film and find out!

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Just a side note here, I have always wondered why they don’t make a film connecting Vampires and spiders. I mean the two are so similar

1) A Vampire is able to trick people by zombifying their mind. They put others in a trance and controlling their minds

               A) Spiders paralyze their victims, being able to control them

2) Vampires suck the blood of their victims, usually when they are still alive.

               B) Spiders suck the blood out of the insects and creatures that enter their web while they are still alive.

3) Vampires only come out at night, they can’t live in the daylight. They hate light.

               C) Spiders don’t like the daylight either. They like to hide away in dark areas.

4) Vampires put their coffin and home base somewhere hidden away so that people won’t find it,

               D) Spiders may have a web out in the open to catch things, but they like to live in tucked away areas   where people can’t find them.

5) Vampires scare people and can look gross or cool.

                E) Spiders scare people. More people are scared of spiders than they are scared of dying. Spiders can also look gross or cool

I mean these two are a match made in heaven. They should have Vampires control the spiders or turn into them.

That’s the 30th post! So sad it almost over. To go to the previous post click here. One last post to come. 1 Day ‘Till Halloween!

Here’s a cover page/poster I made for my facebook page as part of my countdown to Halloween.

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To start Horrorfest at the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to Whatever You Do Don’t Fall Asleep

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For more on monster movies, go to They’re Coming to Get You Barbara

For more on vampires, go to A Halloween Hello From the Austen Men

For more on zombifying the mind, go to When Potatoes Go Bad