The Story, We’re Living it. It’s Alive: The Brothers Grimm (2005)

The story, it’s happening to us now. We’re living it. It’s-it’s alive, it’s real, it’s breathing.

So remember way back in April, when I talked about how much I love the Brothers Grimm and all their stories?

Well for those of you who don’t, I loved them. I used to read the stories over and over and over again.

They are such a huge, huge part of my childhood. I not only read them, but I read like every version of their tales. Such as Shannon Hale’s The Goose Girl; The Princess Test by Gail Carson Levine; or The Rumplestilskin Problem by Vivian Vande Velde. And that’s just naming a few, I’ve read practically every version and retelling out there.

So when I saw a trailer for The Brothers Grimm I was so EXCITED! I’m not quite sure what I was expecting, I don’t even remember what the trailer was like. I just know if it had the Brothers Grimm’s name on it. I WAS THERE!!!!!!!!

My mom, sister, and went to see it and I thought…..

 

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING? THE BROTHERS GRIMM WHAT? THIS THING IS SO CREEPY I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! SCARRED!!!

Needless to say I didn’t like it.

I didn’t understands half the things that were happening! I didn’t like most of the characters. And I thought it was one of the creepiest things I had ever seen. And I was like thirteen at the the time and saw many different films, but this one creeped me out. After a while, I kind of forgot about it, other than I liked Heath Ledger (he’s always awesome) and that I actually liked Matt Damon in this.

I know, I know. If you have been following you should be shocked at that statement as I have said quite a few times how much I dislike Matt Damon. I just think he is a horrible actor as he is the same in everything!! However, he was so different in this film that I actually forgot it was him. And that is what a good actor does, they melt away so all you see is their character on the screen.

Anyways, so time past and I completely forgot about this movie. That is until I saw it on Amazon Prime Instant Watch.

Amazon’s all watch this!

And I thought, hey, ten years have past. Maybe it’s time to give it another view.

Why not?

And as I remember it being a horrorish/comedy film (what I call Com-Ror), I can totally review it for horrorfest. So here we go. I present to you:

So this film is actually a melting pot. It is a historical fiction, horror, comedy, and fantasy concoction.

And they actually work pretty well together.

So the film opens up with the poor Grimm family. The young sister is sick and they are all shivering from the cold as they have no more wood for a fire. Wilhelm, the oldest, is trying to be the man of the house and helping his mother while Jacob has gone out to sell the family cow. Instead of bringing back money, he has “magic beans”.

Poor, sweet, naive little Jacob. He was tricked into getting magic beans. The mom is sad, but Wilhelm becomes incensed and beats his brother.

I know we are barely into the film and already we have a dead father, soon-to-be dead sister, a boy tricked out of everything, and then one brother getting beat by the other. That’s a really dark opening scene for a family picture.

And by now you can kind of see the direction this film is taking. It is going to be the story pieces occurred in real life and lead to the collection of tales we have today. I have to say I was actually down with that. It could be pretty cool. The sort of prequel to Once Upon a Time or something.

We then have the title and a killer opening scene. SUPER DRAMATIC! And I loved it! Dark night, rain, two strangers on horses with a note demanding entrance!

It was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, it turns out that Wilhelm (Matt Damon), or Will as he is more often called, and Jacob (Heath Ledger), or Jake are ghost hunters/witch killers/ monster destroyers. Basically the 19th century version of Dean and Sam Winchester.

When I first saw this I was like what are you doing? I’m pretty sure that there were nothing like that. After watching I had to read up on them.

It turns out in real life that Jacob was actually the older brother. Their father did die when they were young and they had to take care of the family, eventually going to school for law. But later during the Romantic period, they began collecting folk tales, creating the classic literature we have today.

How did they go from that to:

Yeah…

This was one of the reasons I wasn’t really into this “modern”, twisted type of film, in fact a lot weren’t. This film was actually ahead of its time as if it had come out a few years ago (instead of 10) it would have fit right in with Red Riding Hood (2011), Snow White and the Hunstman (2012), The Raven (2012), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), and Hansel & Gretal: Witchhunters (2013). I mean look at that poster! Isn’t this something you would see today?

Eliminating Evil Since 1812 this is something you would definitely see today.

Anyways, back to the review. So the brothers are in Karlstadt to get rid of a witch menacing a mill. This is actually a pretty awesome scene as they fight the witch. I wish I could find a video. Oh well. This is kind of what it looked like:

So this witch comes at them and attacks. They try and destroy her, but she starts to control them and they start to fight with each other.

They fight, but Will manages to overcome it and kill the ghost. They get paid and all is well until we discover that the whole thing is fake. They hire two guys to play the monsters of the folk tales around the area, and then the Grimms come in and save the day by ridding the area of them.

Oh jeez.

You are taking folk historians and making them not only hunters but conmen.

Besides that, movie, I see what you’re doing.

This is going to be one of those films where they show a fake thing in the beginning that is going to be the direction the film goes to in the end. You know like in An American Werewolf in London, where he growls at himself in a mirror, only to later do the same things as a werewolf.

Oh well.

I guess we will just have to wait to see how it turns out.

So while in reality Jacob and Will were the best of friends, in this Will is extremely cruel.

When he goes to give Jacob his half of the money, his has to throw in one last dig.

Will: Your half professor, or would you like it in beans?

Come on Will, he was just a little boy!!!. He was trying to help!!!! Let it go!

So while they are celebrating and having fun, we cut to the village Marbaden. A girl in a little red cape is looking through the forest. Now the forest is amazing! It is exquisitely beautiful and terrifying. It looks just like something out of an illustration in a book or a painting. The film was worth it for those moments alone.

Anyways, the little girl becomes fightened and tries to outrun whatever it is, but doesn’t manage to and is taken.

So as the the guys are celebrating their sucess, Jacob starts to feel down. He was a scholar and is unhappy as to what he is doing now.

All I could think was why isn’t he a scholar anymore? Did he lose his job? Was it because of the French? Time for a history lesson!

So in 1837 the two lost their posts at the university of Göttingen as they went against King Ernest Augustus I who dissolved parliament and demanded oaths of allegiance from all employees. But this film takes place earlier than that…In the early 19th century, Napoleon was seizing control of the world and had gained Western Germany. It is logical that Jacob, being rather outspoken and prone to not always thinking before he speaks, refused to do something similar to what happened at Göttingen, and lost his position.

Moving on…

Anyways, Will has gone on to be with some bar maids, while Jacob is scribbling in his book when a man charges in. It is the famous Italian torturer, Mercurio Cavaldi. He takes them to see French General Delatombe who is strangely played by the same actor who plays Elizabeth Swann’s dad in Pirates of the Caribbean.

They have discovered that the Grimms are conmen, having captured their other workers, and tortured them And this movie spares nothing, showing the men upside down and covered in snails.

Yes, snails. I mean I hate snails and that would be torture to me, but is having snails on you really painful? Let’s look it up! And I found nothing so I’m unsure why they would do that.

Anyways, Delatombe demands to know where the 10 missing girls are. Jacob and Will have no clue what is going on.

Apparently someone has stolen 10 girls from the village of Marbaden. The French General doesn’t like that the German people are not listening and reverting back to their cultural ways. He sends the Grimms and their team to solve the mystery, or be killed. The Grimms heartily go.

Meanwhile, two siblings have decided to go looking for the missing girls, Hans and Greta (Hansel and Gretal). The forest steals Greta’s scarf away from her, using it to eventually lure her away and capture her.

Hans races home to find his father.

Back in the villlage the town has gathered and are telling the Grimm brothers everything that has happened. Who has disappered and how they have disappered.

As they are talking, Hans rushes in and relates what has happened. The Grimms are eager to get started and ask for a guide. They recommend the “cursed one”.

They go see the “cursed one”, who turns out to be Angelika. Her father was a great woodsman, but died last year in the winter snow, although a body was never recovered. Her two sisters were the first to be taken, hence making her “cursed”.

Angelika doesn’t want to help, but the torturous Calvadi convinces her, by almost killing her with a knife. And then he starts hitting on her in the nastiest way. He’s just ew!

Yeah…

So with all parties in accord they journey into the forbidden forest.

Now I just want to stop and say that I really like that while the film is predominately English (of course) there is quite a lot of dialogue spoken in French and German. I like when movies do that. Good going guys.

Take note Hollywood

Back to the forest. Will is totally in his role saying how he “feels” things and can “sense” things.

And Jacob is all, whatever Will.

But he loves the forest as it seems as if all those stories he’s studied over the years are finally coming alive. In fact he believes that this particular story they are in is about King Childeric I’s beautiful Queen. She was the fairest of all, and cared only about herself. When the black plague came, she built a tower high above the forest and the dying people. Unfortunately she still caught it, but tried to use black magic to overcome it and live forever. The spell worked, but instead of remaining beautiful, she aged.

It has been over 500 years and Jacob believes that not only is she in the tower, but she is behind it all.

Will on the other hand thinks that is the stupidest thing he has ever heard

and that someone else is trying to con the villagers.

They find the tower in the woods, of which Angelika tells them that it was destroyed, but mysteriously grew back.

Ahhh!

Some of the first creepy things we see are all these ugly black bugs coming out of stuff. It’s like The Mummy beetles or something. Then the trees keep moving all around. If that was me I’d want to get out of there asap.

So far we have had beetles, creepy trees, and now birds. Creepy birds right out of a Hitchcock scene.

They want to leave and are trying to go, but can’t find the way as the trees have moved around.

While everyone is distracted, a wolf transforms into a person, the woodsman.

I guess a backwards wolfman?

And feeds one of the horses spiders. And guess which horse it is? Jacob’s.

He leaves and the Grimm team regroups eager to leave the forest. Angelika grabs a toad and talks to it, licking its belly so it will point the way.

DISGUSTING!!!!

At this point I was looking at Anjelika and thought, she looks really familiar. Where have I seen her before….?

So I looked her up and it was LENA HEADEY. Man that woman, I CAN NEVER RECOGNIZE HER. She looks different in like every movie she is in. From The Jungle Book, to The Brothers Grimm, to 300, to Dredd, to Game of Thrones; man I never would have realized her characters were played by the same person unless you lined them up next to each other. And probably not even then. You’re good Lena, real good.

So they make it back to the village. The Grimms are working as Cinderella’s in girls clothes, by orders of Calavadi.

I told you he was one real sicko.

Meanwhile, a little girl hears a voice calling her. She gets up to see where it is coming from and it turns out to be one of the horses making noises. She goes over to calm it down. ALONE!

Now this part always bothered me. We see how SUPER protective the father was of his daughter, and she knew that pretty much every girl has been captured and taken away, why would you do this alone? I would have woken up my father and been like I hear something come with me.

Now this part is truly disgusting with the horse. All these spiders come and make a web that grabs the girl, and the horse swallows her. The third most horrifying scene in this film.

It is so disgusting and horrible, but also very well done. The Grimm brothers and friends follow them and her and the forest is truly horrifying.

When the tree kills the man, just ouch.

Calvaldi believes that the Grimm brothers killed his men with the help of Angelika, and they all head back to see the General. Now this is the second most horrifying scene when they torture them, trying to get them to confess. They kill a kitten! A KITTEN! Why would they kill a cute orange kitten in this?

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

They convince the General they will stop it and head back to the village.

Now in this moment I realized how much I absolutely love Jacob Grimm.

Jacob is a total fanboy!

He loves folk and fairy tales, and has studied them for so long.

And now he is actually in the story!! He gets to be the hero of his favorite thing to read!!! How awesome is that!!! That is like every fan’s dream. I know it was mine. There were so many places I always wanted to visit and so many tales I wanted to be the hero of. I AM JACOB.

Anyways so Jacob is really excited, but Will isn’t. In fact Will wants to take off and leave this all behind.

And what’s wrong with that? Doesn’t everyone?

Anyways, so Jacob tries to convince Angelika to help him out.

Will Grimm: Ignore him. He wishes his whole life was something out of a book. And now he thinks he’s in love.

Jacob Grimm: Shut up, Will!

Will Grimm: Angelika, do what your father wanted: leave the village now.

Angelika: No, Will. I’m gonna find my sisters.

Jacob Grimm: Will doesn’t care about them. Will doesn’t care about anything but himself!

Will Grimm: This isn’t a fairy tale. They are not coming back!

Jacob Grimm: This is not your world, Will! [to Angelika] Angelika, you know, don’t you? The story, it’s happening to us now. We’re living it. It’s-it’s alive, it’s real, it’s breathing. And we can give it a happy ending.

Angelika: Jake…

Jacob Grimm: Angelika, we’ll find your sisters. All right? We’ll bring them back.

Will Grimm: [getting angry] Bring back her sisters? [kicks Jacob] Bring them back? Bring them back with what? Magic beans?

Jacob Grimm: Why do you say that?

Will Grimm: Magic beans don’t work! They don’t bring people back to life! They did not then and they will not now! You go wait by the horses! Jacob, wait by the horses!

Will is such a jerk, I totally want to punch him in the face!

Will talks to Angelika, but Jacob will not be deterred and he runs off to the forest to try and save the girls.

But Will chases after him.

When Jacob punched Will in the face finally I was so happy. Yeah!!!!

Finally!

So now the brothers are back to being a team, but while they are doing that, back in the village comes the most horrifying scene ever. This is not for the weak of heart. I swear, this scene scarred me FOR LIFE! FOR LIFE!!!!

So Sasha is going to get water from the well, when a bird falls in and…I can’t do the scene justice, you’re just going to have to watch it yourself.

That ball of goo coming to life

Her face, eyes, and mouth melting away

Ahhh!

Then this black blob has her face and mouth and starts following her

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then it goes inside and grabs her and eats her!

And turns into a cookie and runs away!!!

I am SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! It gave me nightmares, it made it impossible for me to eat gingerbread for a few years. And I wasn’t a little little kid when I saw this either. I was 13. This scene, it just

I have to move on now.

So the Grimms are in the forest. Will has helped get Jacob on top of the very high tower,

Don’t fall.

On the roof Jacob notices the coffins they saw before are numbered 12, like a clock.

Down below Will spots something strange in the water. It’s Sasha in a dress. He goes over to look at her, when the wolf comes.

He changes into a person and we see his face, seeing that it is Angelika’s dad!!! He goes over to Sasha and places her into a coffin. On her feet form glass slippers, and he takes one drop of blood, giving it to a raven to give to the queen upstairs.

In the mirror she looks beautiful and young, but in reality she is an old skeleton.

She starts to charm Jacob, while below Will has to deal with her woodsman.

The whole breaking the mirror destroys the power of the witch reminds me of The Picture of Dorian Gray. The only way to kill Dorian was to destroy his picture, the only way to kill this witch, break the mirror.

They run back to the village with Sasha, Will being the one to kiss the frog to find out the way. When they get there, Sasha is prounounced dead as she isn’t breathing, even though Will saw her walk to the coffin. While they are trying to figure things out who should show up but the French General and a mass of troops.

They declare that the Grimms are really behind it all, having killed their two workers who “confessed” it all.

They decide they are going to burn down the forest and the Grimm brothers. As they are tied up and ready to start the pyre, they toss in Jacob’s book, his collection of tales. All I could think was

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

NOT THE BOOOOOOOOOOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anjelika has been able to free herself and she goes and saves the boys from being burnt to a crisp. Jacob tries to save his book, but Will drags him off as his life is more important.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

NOT THE BOOKS!!!!

Now the Queen doesn’t appreciate anyone trying to destroy her home and sends out some magic that not only stops the flames, but takes out a few guys as well.

When the get into the forrest they run into the wolfman/huntsman who reveals to Angelika that he is her father. He was dying in the forest when the Queen found him and saved him. He is in love with her and would do anything for her. Even sacrificing his own children.

Not only did he take his two youngest girls first, but he snags Angelika to replace Sasha and complete the circle of 12.

I know he’s under a magic spell, but his OWN DAUGHTERS!!!

Will is totally unsure of what to do, while Jacob is in his element and has become even more attractive. Not only is set out on saving Angelika, but he also takes out the murderous General.

It must be nice for Jacob to be the hero for once, instead of Will.

I noticed something about the French, German, and Italians. Everyone who is not German is a crazy psychopath. We have the murderous, vain, evil Queen; the gloutton, tortourous, evil General; Calvadi the pervert and master of torture; and then the general’s right hand man just as crazy and creepy. I think it was on purpose, trying to show the way that the Germans thought of the invaders, how stereotyped and evil they are. It works for the film.

Jacob climbs up the tower to kill the queen, but the knife he picks up is enchanted and he ends up stuck to the wall. I know that he had no other weapon on hand, but come on! She’s an evil sorceress, anything in the room that belongs to her, chances are she can control them!!!

Will ends up following Jacob and when he gets there the Queen enchants the knives so that they have a duel to the death. (Just like I said they would)

I think that is a pretty jerk move to slip from the knife so you brother can kill you. I understand why you do it as it is the only way to free one of you and have him save the day, but it still is pretty mean.

As Jacob is trying to figure out what to do next, the Queen decides that dear old dad, is too old, and turns her attentions toward Will becoming her love slave. As she is turning Will, Jacob finally remembers the mirror and destroys it, killing the Queen.

So Jacob is the hero!

      Jacob’s Hero List

• Save the Girls ✓
• Defeat the Evil Queen ✓
• Save the Day ✓

Now if only he had a plan on how to get out of a crumbling castle.

He makes it out okay, but it looks like he celebrated prematurely. The girls are still dead, or really frozen in eternal sleep.

Spoke too soon

Jacob is lost in what to do, but Calavadi, who has now become a “Grimm-y”, tells him that in his home country there is a story of true love’s kiss waking the girl. Jacob goes to kiss Angelika, but Calvadi warns him that if the love is not true than Angelika will die!

Jacob goes for the kiss and…

The spell is broken. All the girls come out and are alive and well.

Jacob goes over to Will, but he’s not moving…

Spoke too soon

Jacob is heartbroken, but Calavadi reminds him that a kiss could wake him too. As Jacob goes, Will interupts him. Yep it turns out that Will the stinker is alive and fine. Angelika kisses him to “wake him up”; and then everyone returns to town. There the village throws a big party, happy to have everyone back.

Will Grimm: I’ve been thinking of an alternative career path.

Jacob Grimm: Will.

Will Grimm: One that uses all of our new expertise.

Jacob Grimm: Will.

Will Grimm: Now, I haven’t really sorted it yet…

Jacob Grimm: Will, Will, Will, listen. This is the real world. We’re-we’re men without a country, we’re enemies of the state, and worst of all we haven’t a single bean to our name.

Will Grimm: It’s a good name, though, isn’t it?

Jacob Grimm: It’s a damn good name. Let’s dance. Come on!

So how did I like it ten years later? I liked it. It made much more sense now that I was older and more used to this kind of film style. The CGI was pretty good for a 2000’s film, and the backgrounds were just beautiful. The story was so-so, but cute and funny, except for the three deranged parts. I don’t think this would be a movie I would purchase to add to my collection, but I definitely will re-watch it in the future.

To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to It’s Mrs. Archer. She’s on a Rampage!: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

For more Brothers Grimm, go to If the Shoe Fits: Why Cinderella is Actually Awesome

For more fairy tales, go to The Fans and the Furious

For more Horror-Comedies, go to I am the Chosen One. And I Choose to Be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

For more on Heath Ledger, go to You’re Just Too Good to Be True: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

For more on Matt Damon, go to A Horse’s Tale: Chinese New Year

Viva La Révolution

So I decided to do this post in honor of Bastille Day! Yay! You know I find the French Revolution so fascinating on how things got so ugly, so quickly. Also the complete irony on how they tried to change everything about France and erase all shreds they were ever ruled by a monarchy, but yet at the same time, find themselves being ruled by a king in about 10 years. By the way this is Liberty Leading the People by Eugène Delacroix (1830) about the July Revolution of 1830 (the 26-29), which ousted King Charles X of France. For those of you wondering, this took place two years before the June Uprising depicted in Les Miserables. So in this image we have liberty, represented as a woman (as usual) leading the people onward. This painting helped end the Enlightenment period and made way for Romanticism, the style that revolved around political events and current issues to try and evoke emotion out of the viewer. The people in the image following liberty and the French flag, are a wide range of people from different classes. To the far left is a poor peasant, and next to him a member of the bourgeois in a top hat, and to the right of liberty a member of the military.

Anyways, this post is also a response to Girl on Fire, my post on The Hunger Games quiz result I got. I mentioned how I would start a revolution as I have tried before at an Oxfam  banquet.

So at my school we do an Oxfam banquet every year that raised awareness of hunger and homelessness in the world, U.S. and city that we live in. Each person who visits picks a name/occupation out of a bowl and it determines where you will be placed, and what your economic status is. Those who are lower class are the majority, sit on the floor, are treated rudely, have to drink water with coffee grounds in it, share a thing of rice, and eat last. Those who are middle class are seated at tables and get clean water, beans, and rice. Those who are upper class get bread rolls, salad, clean water in glasses, eat off glass plates instead of paper, cookies, and some kind of meat dish. They get the most attention and there are only like five of them, but yet they have more tables set out with food that remain empty. Throughout the night they have speakers and do a discussion of how we felt about the activity.

Now the first year I worked the bowl, holding it and making sure no one cheated, and all went to their right place. At the end of the shift, I pulled out a name and ended up getting upper class. Unfortunately, the waitstaff forgot to serve us the main dish so we only had salad and bread.

The next year they didn’t need volunteers so I just went with my friends. This year I got middle class (pooh) and in order to eat we had to do “chores”. They gave us a bag with holes in it and we had to clean up the newspaper pieces they had ripped and thrown about. The poorer class had it worse as they didn’t have a bag and the people get throwing more and more paper at them.

So I came up with the idea to tie the holes up as otherwise, we were going nowhere. After we finished we got our nasty food (it was horribly done as our caf sucks). Then we sat there. Now we had plenty of food left over, and I tried to give it to the other group but they just wouldn’t take it. They felt that it was their role so they were going to accept that. Well I wasn’t. I saw all those tables with empty people and I was hungry. So I told my friends, let’s start a revolution! Look at all the uneaten food that is going to be thrown away afterwards. Let’s go get it. Come on, there is plenty for us. We won’t have to take anybody’s stuff, we won’t force them to do anything. We’ll just rise up and take the stuff we need. I was very much Maria from Metropolis.

Maria, leader of the Rebellion

 

Come on everyone! Let’s do this!

But sadly, none of my friends wanted to as they “thought they would get in trouble”.

But I was like 

And went and took the food.

Yum!

A few people followed my lead, but mostly everyone was too complacent to stand up for their rights or scared they would get kicked out. So what if we do? Then we do. That’s the problem with revolutions or fighting for a cause. You need others to fight with you, but sometimes you just can’t convince them to take that chance. 😦

According to Buzzfeed I’m a real revolutionary and belong during this time period

Go here to see what time period you belong in

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For more of my favorite art, go to You’re Just So Pretty to Look At

For more on the French Revolution, go to Sucky Sequels

For more on The Hunger Games, go to The Hunger Games: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

For more on rebels, go to A True Princess

For more on Revolutions, go to Being Friends is Good Enough

The Right Path is Not the Easiest One

Day 9) A Film you like but everyone hates

Now lots of people hate this movie and I don’t really understand why. Now I know there are all kinds of things about the age and differences in the historical content, but this is just an interpretation of an event. I mean Mulan does similar things but you don’t see people crapping all over that movie. (And they shouldn’t because it is awesome)

So this Disney film is an interpretation of the life of Pocahontas based on legend and stories surrounding her from letters and writings of John Smith and John Rolfe (her husband). The controversy comes over the fact that other people’s account of the time do not confirm that Smith’s story of being saved by Pocahontas, as they say that the tribe was very friendly, something Smith had written himself many times.  There is also the fact that Smith had some mistrust surrounding him, as better depicted in the film A New World.  Plus when Smith and Pocahontas meet in England she refused to talk to him, no one knowing why, which lead people to wonder what went down between them to make her dislike him. Also when the alleged incident happened Pocahontas was much younger, like 12, so there was no romance between her and John Smith.

But the point of the fact that this is a Disney animated film that contains musical numbers means that it isn’t going to be a biopic. Watch New World if you want that, although I do NOT recommend it, it was one of the MOST BORING films I have ever seen.

 I mean you think a film with Colin Farrell and Christian Bale in it would be good, but it wasn’t. [Side Note: Christian Bale is also in Disney’s Pocahontas, he’s the character of Thomas.]

Anyways to get back to the business of the film and today’s post.

So the film starts off with a ship heading off from England to America as the English are eager to get in with the gold that Spain has found mountains of. On the ship is Thomas (played by Christian Bale [I know isn’t it funny that he was in two depictions of the story of Pocahontas?]), a newbie and John Smith (Mel Gibson [pre-crazy]). The other crew members are looking to kill Natives, etc; while John Smith on the other hand wants adventure. He helps Thomas learn the ins and out in sailing.

Meanwhile in what would become Virginia, Pocahontas is the chieftain’s daughter and is reaching of marriageable age. Her father has her whole life planned out for her, but Pocahontas isn’t sure whether or not that is what she really wants. She seeks guidance from a tree spirit, Grandmother Willow, and discovers the settler’s ship.

The crew have picked out a spot to erect their fort and have also decimated the area in digging for gold. Smith, being one for adventure, has been scouting out the area and comes upon Pocahontas. Intrigued by her, he pursues her and the two begin talking, creating a friendship that develops into something else. 😉

All is not going smoothly between the Natives and the Conquerers. They had a battle and both fear the other is determined to kill them. This causes trouble between Smith and Pocahontas, as Pocahontas’ possible fiancé, Kocoum, is killed by Thomas. Smith takes the fall for him, and is taken to be punished. The leader of the settlers, Governor Ratcliffe, uses the fear and unrest as a way to completely decimte the Natives, convincing everyone that they must kill them for Smith.

Smith is taken out to be killed, but before he can be injured, Pocahontas arrives just in time and throws herself on his body, blocking her father’s weapon and laying down her life for him. Her father admires her courage and sees that maybe peace can be achieved between the two, that killing won’t bring the people he lost back, and steps down. Ratcliffe doesn’t like the idea of allowing the Native Americans to roam freely (its their land!) tries to kill the Chief, but is thwarted by Smith who takes the bullet. The settlers leave for England, taking the injured Smith with them.

Why Pocahontas (1995) is Awesome

1) Pocahontas

Pocahontas is awesome. She is the chieftan’s daugter but doesn’t see herself as higher than anyone else in the tribe, working alongside and helping prepare the harvest. When her father tries to get her to conform to his vision of the future, she respectfully declines as she needs to live her own life; rejecting the marriage to Kokoum. She also is bold, strong, smart, wise, and awesome. When she comes upon John Smith she bravely faces him down, causing him to put away his gun as he is so intrigued by her. When Smith calls her people ignorant and savage, she challenges his thinking showing him that what he sees may be different from what he is used to but is not less, stupid, or barbaric; teaching him the importance of learning more about things we find “strange” and viewing them from the eye of the person, as otherwise we  may miss something. This is truly important message to teach children, just because someone isn’t like you or does things differently; it doesn’t make them stupid or strange; it just means that everyone does things differently and there are other ways to view the same thing. She also is incredibly brave as she stands down her father and whole tribe, trying to show them that violence is wrong. Many say this:

But I think they are sorely wrong. Pocahontas does that way sooner as she is the one to save her whole tribe from being massacred and her love, John Smith. Also unlike Frozen, Pocahontas doesn’t even end up with the guy, she ends standing on her own two feet; taking on the world and continuing on her uncharted path.

2) John Smith

Now John Smith is one of the sexiest of Disney’s cartoon heros. First of all he is a strong, tough, manly, brave, smart, kind guy. I mean he is the greatest on the ship, the other guys can mess up, but never him. He is a crackshot and never misses his mark. I mean the crew tell all kind of stories about him and his adventures, he’s pretty cool. And so brave and tough, handling the terrain on his own, climbing mountains, crossing streams, etc.; all the while there being all kinds of dangers out there, but he doesn’t care, he’s a man’s man. He also is so kind! He helps Thomas every chance he gets by mentoring him and even taking the blame for him, laying his life down for his friends. He also is so sweet with Pocahontas, as when she blames herself for his upcoming execution, he tells her it isn’t her fault and tries to make her feel better; telling her everything was worth it as he meet her.

So romantic!

But the really awesome thing about John Smith is his willingness to see other’s point of view and to admit he is wrong about things. Similar to Phoebus in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, at the beginning of the film he has a clear view of us and them. We are the smart, improved, evolved people with our cities, technology, ideas; and they are stupid, barbaric, and doing nothing with the land given to them. However, when Pocahontas starts showing him that there are many different views on things, he let’s go of his stereotypes and objectively listens to her arguments, seeing that she is right. What he thought was backwards was actual a very forward and advanced society. Therefore changing his view and trying to help build a relationshipIn between the two groups.

3) Interracial Romance

I don’t care what anyone says, this is HUGE! Even in 2014, very rarely will you have a film that will show an interracial romance as most audiences don’t like it. They prefer like with like, which usually is white with white or black with black. The only other Disney films I can think of that do this are The Hunchback of Notre Dame which came out a year later and has French Phoebus with the racially unknown, but not white, Esmeralda; High School Musical which has white Troy and Latino Gabriella pair up, along with African-American Zeke and white Sharpay; and The Wizards of Waverly Place Movie which has a white and Latino family. Yep, only four films (comment below if you can think of another one) of which Pocahontas was the first. Now for me I grew up in a biracial family and hated how I never could find any books or films that dealt with that issue, and when I was a kid I don’t think I realized it, but as I’m older that is one thing I really appreciate about this film. You don’t have to get with the ethnically same, but can fall in love with whoever.

4) Positive Minority Character

This film comes out during a period called “revisionist history”, that is historians were looking back and checking voices not previously heard, such as minorities and women, challenging previous depictions and notions about these groups. As this film comes after Dances With Wolves and The Last of the Mohicans, films had already begun to depict Native Americans as being more than villians or mistreated people. Instead it tried to break previous stereotypes and just show them as people. In Pocahontas, while they do follow some stereotypes, such as talking to trees, animals, etc.; they also show them as being real people who care about each other. In one of the earlier scenes we see a group of warriors returning, saying good-bye to their allies and being  greeted by their families; showing that they have positive home lives. The Cheiftan, while wanting to get rid of the settlers, isn’t doing it because he is evil or cruel, but because he is worried for his people. Pocahontas is a wise soul, but instead of having the “Native American wisdom as she is just sooo connected to the planet”, like other films do she is just an observant and smart person, and her personality is not tied to her ethnicity but just who she is; something radically different from earlier depictions of any minority. Even the killing scene is better here than in other films. As with earlier depictions of Native Amerians killing people, you have something like Duel at Diablo,  where the guy is on a wheel and roasted/tortured in many different ways. Then you have Lonesome Dove, where Blue Duck, rapes and tortures his victims. At least in this film it was a slightly more humane way than roasting them or having a prolonged death.

5) The songs

So Pocahontas has some of the best songs out of all the disney films.

A) The Virginia Company

Short but a great intro as we not only get a history lesson (you’re children will never forget colonial involvement because of this film) but an understanding into our settler characters.

We get the three reasons why any would sail and take on a hard life (1. Gold, 2. Glory, 3. God [and not really about him at all]

For glory, God, and gold

And how they fanty believed America was going to be like this fairyland or treasure trove or something.

For the New World is like heaven
And we’ll all be rich and free

Yeah. Well most of you will die or be indentured servants. Yeah, not much fun. Click her to listen/watch

B) Steady as the Beating Drum

This song I am particularly fond of as in sixth grade my music class had to learn it on the recorder, and participate in a recital with the older kids. I love this as an intro for the Native Americans, as with Virgina Company it helps give us a view into their life and what they are feeling/doing before the settler’s arrive. Very different from any other film that deicts Native American and white relations as almost all center on when/after the whites arrive not before.

O great spirit, hear our song
Help us keep the ancient ways
Keep the sacred fire strong
Walk in balance all our days

It focuses on the connection with the land and their dependence on it for survival, but it also has a little sad foreshadowing. As these traditional ways, will no longer be kept in the same manner as with the colonists arrival, they bring change.

C) Just Around the River Bend

I love this song as it can connect to everyone. At some point in every one’s life you have a time when you have to make a decision. Often you will have conflicting views of what others want you to do (marry Kokoum) and what you want [something different, i.e. John Smith ;)] Sometimes the thing you want isn’t the most stable thing, sometimes you can’t be cautious but have to take a risk.

Should I choose the smoothest curve
Steady as the beating drum?
Should I marry Kocoum?
Is all my dreaming at an end?
Or do you still wait for me, Dream Giver
Just around the riverbend?

It always made me think of Something’s Coming from West Side Story, there are more things out there than one can see, more choices, paths, rivers. It’s an amazing song!

D) Mine, Mine, Mine

One of the best evil villian songs as it shows how selfish and unscrupulous Ratcliffe is and how he would do just about anything to get what he wants.

And the gold
Is …
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!

The duality of using the word mine for mine as in mining, and mine as in it belongs to me. Plus sneaky Disney also gives us another mini history lesson as it talks about European conquest. But really what you see here is how Ratcliffe just uses and ravages things; working his men crazily, destroying the forest, tearing up the land, etc. It makes you just hate him more.

We also get a view into John Smith and how he differs from Ratcliffe, clearly distinguishing Smith’s “heroic role”.

All of my life, I have searched for a land
Like this one
A wilder, more challenging country
I couldn’t design
Hundreds of dangers await
And I don’t plan to miss one
In a land I can claim
A land I can tame
The greatest adventure is mine!

He wants the land not to own or dig or find riches, but finds riches in the land itself; exploration, creating a home, farming, etc. We also see here how he wants to claim and tame the land, not having a connection like the Native Americans who love the land and see it as its own entity. This helps with John Smith’s chracter development, as after being with Poahontas and listening to her point of view, he changes his mind and rids himself of his previous stereotypes.

Click here to listen/watch

E) Colors of the Wind

This song is so freakin’ awesome. It’s all about how we can assume so much about a person, but you never really know someone until you get a glimpse of what their world is like.

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You’ll learn things you never knew you never knew

And Disney always subtlety throwing things in and trying to brainwash our children (but in a good way)

For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

Color doesn’t matter, we all need to work together, all are important. This is why this is such a great movie to show your children, as it tells them that prejudice and racism is bad. Very bad!

And look how beautiful this scene is!

F) Savages

Now this is my favorite song in Pocahontas. I just love the lyrics and the imagery used in this. It actually pulls a lot from West Side Story. West Side Story does this great number Tonight in which the two rival gangs, Sharks and Jets, are going to fight (one group is white and the other is Puerto Rican). While they sing about the upcoming battle, you have Maria and Tony sing about how tonight the fight will be over and they can be together (which doesn’t quite work out). In this you have the two groups, Native Americans and Whites, preparing to fight and it is just an awesome song. I mean this whole song is about how racism is stupid, as these two groups who are going to kill each other are not quite different at all, in what they are (human) and what they think (things different bad, we must fight those diffrent from us, etc) I mean look at the lyrics.

Ratcliffe:                       Powhatan: 

What can you expect                   This is what we feared
From filthy little heathens?          The paleface is a demon 
Their whole disgusting race is like a curse        The only thing they feel at all is greed
Their skin’s a hellish red                 Beneath that milky hide 
They’re only good when dead           There’s emptiness inside 
They’re vermin, as I said                         I wonder if they even bleed 

[English Settlers]                            [Native Americans] 
They’re savages! Savages!                       They’re savages! Savages! 
Barely even human                        Barely even human 

See not much difference between the two, which is the whole reason they are fighting.

I also love how they made both groups look evil in this song, making it clear that both sides are bing violent and are both at fault, there is no one villian. As historically both groups did horrible, horrible things to their own people and each other; showing that all people have faults.

Then we have Pocahontas who has finally discoverd her destiny and is trying to run and save everyone from war. And the tension mounts as you are unsure if she will make it in time and then what will happen next.

[Pocahontas] 
Is the death of all I love 
Carried in the drumming of war?

It’s a horrible situation as if the Native Americans win, John Smith dies and they are villianified and going to kill/die when future settler’s come. If the settlers win, than all the Native Americans will be wiped out, the only thing that can solve this dilemma is if Pocahontas can bring peace between them.

 

G) If I Never Knew You

I love this song so much, it is my favorite Disney love song so I will actually be saving that for a later post. Sorry!

For more on Pocahontas, go to a Disney Lesson

For more on Disney Princesses, go to A Hidden Wonder

For more on Frozen, go to Frozen Solid

For more on Mulan, go to A Horse’s Tale

For more of my favorite songs, go to The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For more on Disney Heroines, go to Belle of the Ball

For more on Disney Heroes, go to  Prince of a Man

For more on Disney, go to That Would Make Me Happy

Darcy’s Dream Date

Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet (1940)

In Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy has very particular guidelines as to who the perfect woman is. The perfect (accomplished) woman is one who has

“a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.’ Caroline Bingley…’All this she must possess,’ added Darcy, ‘and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

After reviewing this statement I have discovered that I am Mr. Darcy’s perfect woman.

Oh well…

1)Knowledge of Music

I grew up in a musical house, although I cannot play any one instrument profusely. Here are some of my musical accomplishments.

• The Afoxé: I love this instrument and have been playing it my whole life.
• The Piano: I know how to play Hot Cross Buns, Rugrats Theme, and Chopsticks.
• The Recorder: This is the instrument that I am best in. I learned how to play the Star Wars Theme, Hot Cross Buns, Three Blind Mice, Yo Ho (A Pirate’s Life for Me), and every song from Disney’s Pocahontas.
• The Guitar: I know one very old hymn.

2) Singing

I know how to sing, but will only do it around friends and family. But it still counts!

3) Drawing

I took painting and drawing classes for two years before I switched to photography. Now I am not one of those geniuses who can draw or paint a perfect image from memory, but I do well f I can see the image I am trying to recreate. Painting, I only do well at watercolors, or objects such as a room, plate, frame, etc. I also do very well in pastels, charcoal, and chalk. My main forte is collage and photography.

 

4) Dancing

I am not the world’s best dancer, but my biggest strength is that I am a fast learner, and can be taught dance moves quickly. However I have been trained in certain areas.

• Waltz: I learned this from the Sleeping Beauty’s collector edition DVD. It was very easy to learn
• Thriller: Love the song and know almost the whole dance.
• Ballet: Was in a class for a few days before I transferred out, I was put there by accident. However, what I learned there will forever remain in my mind.
• The Time Warp: Such a fun song!
• Bollywood: I watch a lot and love to dance along.
• Mash Potato: Such fun!
• The Twist: Who doesn’t like to twist?
• Square Dancing: A fun requirement everyone has to learn.
• Breakfast Club Dance: Not only can I do the feet thing, but I have Ally Sheedy’s dance down.
• MC Hammer: Only Can’t Touch This, and not even all of that.

5) Modern Languages

I wish I knew more languages fluently, but alas I am only bilingual (and even that some may not count.)

• Some Spanish: I’m half Mexican and I have taken three years of spanish class. I know how to introduce myself (Me llamo es), say where I am from (Yo soy de), if I want to go somewhere (Yo voy, tu vas, nosotros vamos…), how to ask for things (puedo por favor; donde esta…), help (ayudame), the weather, how to say I am hurt or injured, can count etc…

• Smattering of French: I know how to say hello, good-bye (five different ways), and a few other things.
• Sign Language: I know quite a bit and the whole alphabet.

5) Something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions

Got all those covered. 😊

Or 10th, 50th, 100th….

6) Extensive Reading

This is where I fit the bill most of all. I have been reading since I was a small child, and I READ ALL THE  TIME. I am never without a book, and devour them extremely fast, no matter the length. In fact I meet my goal of reading 365 books this year a couple of weeks ago. And I love to read EVERYTHING! Mystery, classics, sci-fi, horror, romance, historical fiction, non-fiction, biography, westerns, plays, novels, etc. I love the library, and spend as much free time there possible. One of my favorite things is to just go through the stacks and look at all the different books, choosing which I think will be best. I have too many favorite books and authors that I just can’t pick one. I really want a library like in Beauty and the Beast or The Swan Princess. I mean if Darcy has asked me to marry him in his rude, conceited way that first time; I would have considered saying yes because I would know he would have a fantastic library.

 

7) Embroidery

I know that this isn’t technically something that Darcy said was attractive in a woman, but it was something that most people valued a woman knowing back then. I only know hand sewing, and that in itself is mostly subjects related to patching; but I embroider like a boss. I have been doing it ever since I was a kid, amd enjoy it immensely.

8) Cooking

Yes, I know. Only poor women or domestic help cooked at that time, but I’m proud of the fact that I am an extremely good cook. I can make anything, as long as I have a recipe, and am not daunted at trying new things. And for all the modern men out there, I make the best sandwiches out of every person I know. My older sister and I used to kid that I would make one very lucky guy extremely happy with that talent.

Well with all these accomplishments; along with filling many others that we value today, what guy wouldn’t want me? LOL

To see what you get go here

How many of you out there also fit the bill for Darcy’s Dream Date?

For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to How to Get a Woman to Refuse Your Proposal

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